No Greater Burden
by JudithDQ
Summary: Michaela and Sully embark on a physically and emotionally perilous journey to visit Cloud Dancing on the Cheyenne reservation in Oklahoma. Once there, a revelation threatens Sully's friendship with Cloud Dancing and could affect his life with Michaela.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company. _

**No Greater Burden **

**Chapter One **

Michaela slowly descended the stairs dressed in her nightgown, her hair loosely falling down her back, her eyes clouded by sleep. The room was dark, except for the faint glow of embers from a fire long left unattended. Halfway down the stairs, she noticed lamplight casting shadows in the direction of the kitchen. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she walked across the creaky floorboards toward the flickering light. She spotted Sully hunched over the kitchen table, deep in concentration. From the crumpled papers strewn across the table, the candle burned almost to the end, and the tense way he rested his head in his hand, Michaela knew he had been working for hours on his report to the Interior Department.

She paused momentarily and watched him work, admiring her husband's determination and dedication to protecting the land in the face of nearly insurmountable odds. Quietly approaching him from behind, she rested her hand on his shoulder.

"How much longer are you going to work on that?" Her voice was hoarse from disuse. "It's late."

Sully placed his hand over hers and smiled up at her, warmed by the thought that after all these years his wife was still restless in bed without him by her side. "Not much longer. I spent the whole night thinkin' o' ways ta convince the Government not ta build on Antelope Valley, an' I just figured out how ta do it. I wanna finish this report an' mail it tomorrow so we can get ready for our trip." Sully rested his pen on the paper. "Will ya be ready ta leave by the end o' the week?"

Michaela slumped into a nearby chair, still groggy. "Yes, I'll be ready." Chilled by the cool night air, she shivered, wrapping her arms tightly around her body. Though nearly summer, the Colorado nights still clung to the cold of winter in a stubborn embrace.

Aware of the chill in the air, Sully rose to stand behind her, draping his arms over her shoulders. "I'll get the fire built up again," he said as he rubbed her arms. After giving her a peck on the cheek, he crossed the room, squatted on his heels in front of the hearth to stir the dying embers, and placed a new log on the fire. "Do ya think Dorothy can be ready by then, too?"

Michaela joined her husband by the fire, warming herself by its radiating heat. "I'll speak with her tomorrow." She held her hands toward the fire, slowly turning them back and forth to bask in the warmth emanating from its flames. "I'm so glad she decided to come with us."

"Cloud Dancin'll be glad ta see her," Sully said, turning to glance over his shoulder at his wife.

"What about your work? Can they spare you for the entire time we're away?"

Satisfied with the blaze now roaring in the hearth, Sully rose to his full height beside his wife. "On the way there I gotta check out the forests southwest of Pueblo. There's talk of a lumber mill wantin' ta build there." He turned to face Michaela. "Ya got everythin' taken care of at the clinic?"

"Yes," she replied. "Jason will manage the clinic while we're gone and he's arranged for a colleague from Denver to assist him two days a week."

Earlier in the day, both she and Jason were needed to operate on Mr. Gibbons. Without the two of them, she wasn't sure he would have survived. Jason was a good surgeon, but she was still concerned about leaving him alone at the clinic for so long.

Sully noticed the tension in her neck and shoulders. "Then ya won't have ta worry 'bout the clinic while we're gone."

"I trust Jason to handle anything that occurs in my absence," she said. The confidence in her voice was at odds with the tightness in her stomach.

Sully noticed the nervousness etched on her face. He stepped behind her and rubbed her shoulders and neck to ease the obvious tension. "Then what are ya frettin' about?"

"I'm not fretting."

"Yeah ya are," Sully said with assurance, as he continued to massage her shoulders. As much as she tried to hide her worries from him, he could always tell when she was concerned about something. Sully reached for her hand and led them both back to the table. Once seated, he leaned forward to touch her arm, encouraging her to open up to him. This trip had been Michaela's idea and it touched his heart to know she suggested it for him. However, he couldn't help wondering if she was having second thoughts.

Michaela hesitated for a few moments, lowering her eyes to the table. "I know we've been planning this trip for over a year." She paused then gradually looked up to meet his worried gaze. Sully nodded for her to continue. "Well…now that it's here…I don't know…I suppose I'm a little nervous."

"Don't ya wanna go?" His voice was full of concern and his stomach twisted in knots.

"Of course I want to go. I want to see Cloud Dancing again. I want the children to see the work you do and I want them to learn about the Cheyenne."

"But…" Sully leaned forward in the chair and rested his hand on her shoulder.

"It's a long trip over difficult terrain. We've never taken such a long trip with the children in the wagon before. Remember the difficulties we had on the cattle drive? And your work will add time to the trip. I'm not sure when to tell Jason to expect our return."

"It'll be all right," he reassured, lowering his arm to grasp her hand, and closing his fingers around hers. "We'll take it nice and slow. It's real pretty country."

"Yes, that's true." Michaela responded with forced enthusiasm.

Sully eyed her carefully. "We both want ta see Cloud Dancin' again. This trip'll be real good for the kids, Michaela. I want 'em ta get ta know the Cheyenne. Josef don't remember Cloud Dancin' and he's never met an Indian." He swallowed the lump in his throat from the truth of his words. "It'll be good for us, too. We haven't had an adventure in the woods together in a while."

Michaela met his devoted gaze with the corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "No, we haven't. Just what kind of adventure do you have in mind, Mr. Sully?"

Sully reached up to cup her face in his hand. "With us, ya never can tell. But I can promise ya, it won't be borin'," he teased, lightly patting her cheek.

"That's what has me worried," she bantered. "How do we know Cloud Dancing will even be in Oklahoma when we arrive?"

"Cloud Dancin' told me he was gonna return to the Indian Territory to join the remaining Southern Cheyenne."

"I'm worried about how we'll find the Cheyenne when we arrive. The Cheyenne our children will meet have been living under very different circumstances than those we knew in Colorado."

"I'm worried 'bout that, too," he admitted in barely a whisper.

Sully knew Cloud Dancing would be in Oklahoma. The Southern Cheyenne had been living in the Indian Territory in Oklahoma since shortly after Washita. At first Cloud Dancing had joined the Northern Cheyenne, who were living free in Montana, and for years he traveled between Montana and Colorado Springs. Four years ago he decided to settle in the Oklahoma Indian Agency with the other Southern Cheyenne. As starvation and illness ravaged the reservation, Cloud Dancing returned to the north for a time, but eventually he came back to Oklahoma for good. With their numbers declining from illness and warfare, his brother knew he needed to do what he could to keep the Cheyenne culture alive in his people.

What worried Sully the most was not whether Cloud Dancing would be in Oklahoma, but in what condition would they find him? After reports of the government cutting back on rations and medical care, he was worried they would find Cloud Dancing and his people starving and sick. When Sully was in Montana almost two years ago now, he had heard stories of the flight of the Northern Cheyenne from Oklahoma to escape their pitiful existence on the reservation. There was little reason to hope that the situation had improved. As much as he was looking forward to visiting with Cloud Dancing again, and reconnecting with the survivors from Black Kettle's village, he seriously wondered if there was anything he could do to help them.

After a long while, Michaela broke the silence. "Do you think Brian will come with us?"

"I hope so."

"I can't understand why he hasn't made up his mind yet. He seemed so excited when we started planning this trip."

Sully shrugged his shoulders. "He's older now. I imagine travelin' with his folks don't have the same appeal it used ta."

"What do you mean? He enjoys traveling with us." She brushed wisps of hair from her face with the back of her hand. "Why don't I speak with him tomorrow?"

"Michaela, don't push 'im. He's gotta wanna come with us."

"Why wouldn't he want to come with us?"

"I'm not sayin' he don't. Just leave 'im be ta decide. Promise me ya won't say nothin'."

Michaela sighed. "All right, I won't say anything just yet." She paused to change the subject. "You must be looking forward to seeing Cloud Dancing."

Sully's eyes brightened in pleasant anticipation. "I am. It'll be good ta spend time with Cloud Dancin' again. Last time I saw 'im, I was so lost. I want 'im ta know I'm doin' better and we're happy."

Michaela raised her brow. "Something tells me Cloud Dancing already knows that," she said with a playful smile.

"You happy Michaela?"

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Very."

"I love you." Sully leaned across the table and gently pressed his lips to hers. Now I gotta finish this report 'fore the sun comes up."

"I love you, too." Michaela rose from the table, pausing to brush the hair back from his face before taking her leave. "Don't be too long."

"I won't."

* * *

"Not coming?" Michaela's tone reflected her shock and disbelief. They were seated across from each other at Grace's Café having coffee.

Dorothy lowered her eyes to the table. "Michaela please, I've thought this through. I can't just leave the Gazette for that long. People count on me to tell them what's going on."

"I thought you had the next issue all ready and Preston was going to hire someone to print it while you were away."

"He is," Dorothy replied, her back ramrod straight against the chair.

Michaela sensed there was something more behind Dorothy's sudden refusal to travel. She could tell by her friend's rigid posture and the subtle way she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I don't understand. What changed your mind?"

Dorothy stirred her coffee while she did her best to avoid her friend's steady gaze. "I usually put out two issues a week." As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew how ridiculous her excuse sounded.

Michaela's brow creased in consternation as she studied Dorothy's expression. "I'm certain everyone will understand. Even newspaper editors deserve a vacation," she said with a lightness that belied the mood at the table. "Besides, Brian hasn't told us for certain if he's coming with us. If he stays, he could run the Gazette in your absence."

Dorothy raised her head in surprise. "Of course Brian will be going with you!"

"I'm not at all certain of that," Michaela said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Why not?" Dorothy asked.

Michaela let out a frustrated sigh. "We're leaving in a few days and he still hasn't decided."

"Why wouldn't he go? It's such a wonderful opportunity for him. Think of the articles he can write about the trip."

Michaela raised her eyes and grinned. "If it's such a wonderful opportunity for a reporter, why are you changing your mind?"

Dorothy looked down at her hands in frustration. She had asked Michaela to join her for a cup of coffee at the café, intending to tell her she could no longer accompany them to Oklahoma, not to be buried under a barrage of questions that had no clear answers. Knowing Michaela as well as she did, she should have been better prepared. How _did_ she feel about this trip? A strong part of her wanted to go. She wanted to see Cloud Dancing again. But an even stronger part of her was afraid, afraid of the feelings that seeing him again might stir. "I already told you," Dorothy replied firmly. "Now leave it be."

Michaela straightened in her seat and squared her shoulders. "And I don't believe that's the real reason," she challenged, her voice low to avoid being overheard in the outdoor cafe. "I thought Cloud Dancing was important to you. It's not often you'll have an opportunity to visit with him."

Dorothy stared past her friend to the mountains in the distance, wondering at the same time, if Michaela understood just how important Cloud Dancing was to her. There was a time when Dorothy believed she was in love with him. Those feelings terrified her and excited her at the same time. The reality of their different worlds eventually put an end to the relationship before it had even begun. Still, Dorothy cared for Cloud Dancing. More than anything, she wanted him to be well and content with his life. Yet, a part of her still wished he had chosen to remain in Colorado Springs with her. It hurt knowing that he chose to live confined to a reservation rather than live in the town that had protected him.

Dorothy shook herself, as though coming back to the present was painful. "He is important to me."

Michaela watched her friend carefully. "Then you should come with us."

"You and Sully can tell me how he's getting on. I'm just not sure I see the point in traveling all that way to see him again is all."

"The point!" Michaela was incredulous. "The point is he's your friend, perhaps even more than that. You care about each other. Don't you want to see him again?"

Dorothy inhaled deeply. "That was a long time ago Michaela. I've put Cloud Dancing behind me. It's been four years since I've seen him. I'm not sure it's a good idea to stir up all those feelings again."

"I see," Michaela said. She decided to drop the subject even though she didn't agree with, or understand her friend's decision.

Dorothy brought the cup to her lips trying to think of a way to make Michaela understand. "What if it were Sully? What if you and Sully couldn't ever be together…really be together? Would it be so easy to visit with him as a friend and only a friend?"

"Well, I'd…uh…if Sully were to, then…" Michaela turned her head skyward, searching the air almost as if she could pluck from it an adequate answer to Dorothy's question. "If Sully and I couldn't be together because…because Sully felt there was something more important to him than me and the children, and we both accepted that decision, I would do everything in my power to maintain our friendship," she responded with more resolve than she was feeling.

"You don't know that Michaela. You don't know how you'd feel if it actually happened. You have no idea how hard it would be." Dorothy paused for a long moment. "I always knew there was no real future for me and Cloud Dancing, but when he was living here, I could see him all the time, talk to him. When he started spending less time in town and more time with his people, I knew I was losing him. With all the fighting, I couldn't very well join him in the Indian Territory. I'd come to accept that I wasn't gonna join his life, so if he wasn't gonna join mine, then we'd have to remain apart. I've tried to understand why he had to join his people, but when he left, I missed him terribly. I felt so alone. These past four years, I've moved on with my life. I have the Gazette and my friends. I don't miss him like I used to." She paused to take another sip of coffee. "I don't wanna start missing him all over again and I don't wanna see him living on _that_ reservation."

Both women ceased their conversation when they noticed Loren approaching the table. "Good afternoon, Loren," Dorothy greeted.

"Afternoon, Dorothy, Dr. Mike. Beautiful day we're having." Loren returned the greeting.

"Yes, it is a beautiful day. How are you Loren?" Michaela asked.

"Good as can be expected," Loren replied. As his eyes roamed back and forth between the two women, he sensed something suspicious in their interaction. "Dr. Mike, you wouldn't be tryin' ta talk Dorothy inta comin' with ya to that reservation now would ya?"

Michaela arched her back. "Loren, whether or not Dorothy comes with us to Oklahoma is entirely up to her."

"Last I heard she decided not ta go. It's the right decision Dr. Mike. Don't go tryin' ta change her mind by makin' her feel guilty," Loren accused.

"I'm not making her feel guilty," Michaela responded, flustered. "I only suggested that Dorothy might enjoy visiting with Cloud Dancing again. I believe she should reconsider."

"I'll kindly ask the two of you to stop talkin' about me as if I'm not here," Dorothy scolded.

Loren turned to face the woman he'd carried a torch for over all these years. "Don't listen ta her, Dorothy. You made the right decision. You knew it would never have worked between you two. It wasn't right, that's all."

"Loren, I don't want to discuss my friendship with Cloud Dancing," Dorothy said.

Loren continued, "There's no reason ta see him again. He's where he should be an' so are you. Cloud Dancin's an Indian. Why, I don't think you coulda got 'im ta give up sleepin' on the ground like Dr. Mike did with Sully."

Dorothy rolled her eyes. "Oh Loren, really."

"I'm serious! Cloud Dancin's an Indian an' always will be. That's who he is and you can't change who a man is. No Dorothy, you're best stayin' here and not thinkin' 'bout him no more."

"Loren, I'll kindly ask you to let me make up my own mind."

"Now see what ya gone an' done." Loren glared at Michaela then stormed off.

"I thought you _had_ made up your mind," Michaela gently pressed.

"I have, but I don't want Loren thinking he can tell me what to do. I'm not coming with you Michaela. That's final."

"I wish you would reconsider. It was hard for Sully to see Cloud Dancing living in Montana, to see what has become of the Cheyenne, but he came to believe that Cloud Dancing made the only decision he could."

"The Indian Territory in Oklahoma is supposed to be far worse than Montana. I don't think I can bear to see him there," Dorothy added.

"It will be difficult, but we have to respect Cloud Dancing's decision. Sully believes he's at peace with his life."

"I'm sure he is," Dorothy responded, a hint of bitterness in her tone.

"But you don't approve?"

Dorothy swallowed hard. "Cloud Dancing could have stayed here in Colorado Springs. He could have stayed with me. He didn't have to go live on the reservation. When I think of what he and his people are going through there..." her voice trailed off and her eyes glistened with tears.

"Dorothy, you know Cloud Dancing had no choice. He's a leader among his people. He has a responsibility to teach the old ways to the children so they can carry on their traditions. As a medicine man, he has to do what he can to help the tribe survive."

"Do you believe they're gonna survive? Do they have a future Michaela? Cloud Dancing could have survived here. Is he gonna survive on that reservation?"

Michaela covered her friend's hand with her own. "I suppose that question depends on us. I do know that Cloud Dancing has to do what he can. He feels responsible for his people. If he didn't, he wouldn't be the same man we _both_ care about."

"What can we do about it now? There's hardly any left. Those who survived this far are starving and sick. You know as well as I do that Congress cuts funding for the reservations every year. The government isn't gonna keep their promises. They give them land not fit for farming and call them lazy when they can't turn a crop. They send their children away for schooling hoping they forget where they came from. How much more time do you think they got before there's none left, or the ones who are left don't care about the old ways?"

"I hope that day never comes," Michaela replied in a whisper. Both women lingered in silence willing that last thought from their minds. "Come with us Dorothy. Write about how the Cheyenne are trying to survive. Tell their story so others will listen. Perhaps it will make a difference." Dorothy stared down at the checkered tablecloth pondering her friend's words. "Think about it," Michaela implored. "We leave in three days."

* * *

"I think you should go," Sarah told Brian as they walked through the woods hand in hand.

"You do?"

"You're always saying how you want to see new places. Well, you've never been to Oklahoma before. Even more than that, the Cheyenne matter to you. It's important for you to see them again. Besides, I'll be in Washington for the summer. You'll have more fun if you go with your family than if you stay here all by yourself," she reasoned.

"I suppose," he replied, taking a sip of water from his canteen. "I'm glad you got that job at the Smithsonian, but I wish you weren't gonna be away the whole summer."

Sarah gave Brian a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll miss you, too."

Brian smiled and put his arm around her as they continued to walk. "I don't know why I'm not sure about going. Lately I've been feeling…I don't know…." His voice trailed off, unable to find the words to explain the thoughts that had been going through his mind in recent weeks. At times like this afternoon, he was happy, but other times, he felt dragged down by emotions and unsure about the direction of his life. These jumbled emotions collided together in a patchwork quilt of images and colors that, like his life, was not fully formed.

Sarah stopped walking and faced him. "Brian, what is it? I can tell something's bothering you."

Meeting her gaze, he was moved by her unwavering support. "It's just..." He looked down as his foot kicked at the dirt beneath him. "Past few weeks I've been restless and uncertain about things," Brian began.

Sarah swallowed hard. "Restless?"

"Not about us," he reassured her quickly, as he brought his hand up to caress her face. "I've been wondering if this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life."

"I thought you figured that out in Boston. That's why you came back here."

Brian reached for Sarah's hand, as they continued walking. "I came home last year 'cause my ma needed me, and I knew I didn't wanna live in Boston. I'm pretty sure I'd like to settle down here, but I need to make sure I know what I wanna do with my life first. I should consider all my options and not just settle for something 'cause it's easy."

"But you're a reporter and a good one at that. Surely, that's not easy."

Brian had to make Sarah understand. He led her down a narrow, winding path to a rock that jutted out of the side of the mountain. Before them was a panoramic, breathtaking view of the Rockies, that as far as he knew, only he, Sully and the Indians knew about. Taking a seat on the granite ledge, they gazed down at the wildflowers that blanketed the landscape, painting the valley in a rainbow of colors. A majestic waterfall, created from the melting spring snow, completed the picture, as it carved a path down the mountain to a stream far below.

Placing his hand in hers, Brian tried his best to explain. "Writing comes easily to me and it's something I can't live without. It's a part of who I am, but I need to make sure that reporting is the way I want to use words. I think it is, but I know I need to write about more than the land, the Indians, and what's happening in Colorado Springs. There's so much more going on in the world."

Sarah's body tensed and her posture became rigid. "I thought you liked writing about that?"

"Mostly I do, but I wanna write about other stuff, too."

"Like what?"

Brian's face broke out into a huge grin. "Inventions. Think of what electricity and the telephone are gonna mean for us. Imagine being able to talk with someone who lives clear across the country!" Brian's voice rose from his excitement and his face became flushed. "And electricity, I can't even think of all the things that are gonna change 'cause of that. My pa's worried all of this will change our way of life, but I think it's exciting. Who says things have to stay the same? I think these changes are good. They're gonna make our way of life better, but all Sully can see is the problems they're gonna cause."

"You and Sully don't have to agree about everything. Look at your ma and Sully."

Brian grinned. "True."

"So you're not sure you should go on this trip because you don't want to write about the Indians anymore?"

Brian kept his gaze fixed on the water as it made a path down the side of the mountain. "That's not it exactly."

"Then what is?"

He paused for several long moments to collect his thoughts. Lately words had failed him when it came to describing his feelings. "Sometimes I get confused about what I think about things. I know what our government is doing to the Indians is wrong. But, I also believe we need to work to make things better within the reservation system. It's not realistic to demand they be shut down. That's what my pa wants. He also wants to protect most of the land from development. I don't agree with that. There has to be a balance because we need towns and cities. I'm real glad the train is moving west and connecting the country, but I don't like the greed and corruption that comes with it. I agree with my folks about most things, but lately I don't agree with my pa about everything. It's hard to talk to him about it. I don't want my ideas to only mimic what I learned from them. I need to form my own opinions. Does that make any sense?"

"Then use this trip to do just that. Challenge your opinions and question what your ma and pa think. That way you'll know for sure what's in your own mind. I can't think of a better way to do that than visiting a reservation. Who knows? Maybe your pa will learn a thing or two from you."

Brian stared out at the wildflowers, doubting he could ever change Sully's mind, especially about the Cheyenne. "That's a risky place to start where my pa's concerned."

Sarah placed the palm of her hand against his back. "No one said it would be easy."

* * *

The family trunk, hand crafted with the finest cherry wood available, sat open at the foot of the bed. Inside, it carried the well-worn smell of many seasons, a mix of aged wood, fragranced with dried lilac hanging on the inside cover. One look at the smooth, hand-tooled surface was all that was needed to identify the craftsman as none other than Byron Sully. It had been a gift from her husband, in honor of her invitation to speak at a prestigious medical convention in Chicago. A gift that told her he was proud of her.

Earlier in the day, while removing the blankets and photographs that usually took up residence in the chest, Michaela's mood turned melancholy. Now, lightly brushing her fingers over the stained wood and brass hinges, she tried to push away her fears, fears for the Cheyenne, fears about Sully's reaction to seeing his family weakened and defeated, and fears about taking the children on such a long trip. As each day brought them closer to their departure, she couldn't deny that the light in her husband's eyes burned brighter. For him, and for all of them, she would try to reason with the acrobatic butterflies in her stomach.

In orderly rows across the top of the bed lay dresses, trousers, shirts, stockings, and socks, each folded in neat piles. Michaela stared at the stacks of clothes, her mind quickly calculating how long they'd be gone and the weather conditions they'd likely encounter, trying to determine if she had enough of the appropriate outfits for the trip. All morning she walked back and forth between her room and the children's rooms, carrying clothes and arranging them on the bed. Then she went into her own wardrobe to select clothes for herself and Sully. Satisfied with the selections, she began moving the piles from the bed to the trunk with the same methodical precision she used to lay them out.

"I wanna bring this dress," Katie announced from the doorway, holding up a green flowered dress with a velvet collar.

With her arms full, Michaela turned around and sighed. "Katie, it's far too warm in Oklahoma to wear that dress. It's also your nicest dress. You won't have any occasion to wear it on this trip."

Katie knew by her mother's tone of voice that she wasn't going to win. Sighing dramatically, she tossed the green dress over a chair, then walked to the bed and pulled one of her dresses from the bottom of a pile. This caused all of the others to tumble to the floor. Ignoring the mess, she held up a bright yellow dress she'd always disliked. Her mother had purchased it to complement her hair, but Katie thought it made her look like a big yellow bird. "I don't like this dress. I don't wanna bring it," she said, her face scrunched up with displeasure.

Michaela leaned over to pick up the outfits that had fallen on the floor. "Katie, please leave your clothes alone," she said with noticeable irritation. Taking the yellow dress from her daughter, Michaela re-folded it, and placed it in the trunk. "Please hand me the stack of Josef's shirts from the bed."

"All right," the little girl grumbled, vowing to herself that she would never wear that yellow dress again.

Josef and his friend Luke Slicker, who had been playing in the little boy's room, came bounding into the room giggling and not paying attention. In an effort to retrieve a toy Luke had taken from his room, Josef grabbed Luke's arm and he tumbled into the bed disturbing the meticulously folded piles.

"Josef." Michaela's tone was sharp. "You know better than to run in the house."

"Sorry," the little boy said. "Can we go outside and play?"

"Yes, but stay right out front where your father can see you. He's in the barn."

"Yes ma'am," Luke replied.

Josef didn't hear his mother because he had become distracted by the contents of the trunk. "Where are our toys?"

"You won't need toys on this trip," Michaela responded, placing another stack of clothes in the chest.

"No toys?" the little boy whined. He looked up at his mother with pleading blue eyes.

Though they didn't have room for too many extra items, Michaela thought permitting a few toys might just keep them busy over the long trip. "All right," she relented with a sigh. It was impossible to resist his crestfallen expression. "You may each bring one toy and one book, but it's your responsibility to take care of them. We won't be delaying our travels to look for them if they should become lost."

"Is Wolf comin'?" Josef asked, as he leaned against the edge of the bed.

"Yes, he'll ride in the wagon with you and Katie."

Katie handed her mother another pile of clothes. "I wanna ride Cheyenne to Oklahoma."

Her mother reached out to smooth back her hair. "No sweetheart. It's far too long a trip for you to ride her. You and your brother are going to ride in the wagon."

"I don't wanna leave Cheyenne."

"She'll be fine. Robert E. and Matthew will take care of the homestead and the animals."

"How long you gonna be away?" Luke asked.

"About a month," Michaela replied as she arranged the items in the trunk.

"That's a long time. What we gonna do there?" Josef asked.

Michaela took a deep breath, her patience wearing thin. It was proving almost impossible to entertain the children and complete all her preparations for the trip. After she finished packing the clothes, she still had to organize medical supplies and the food, not to mention ensuring that all the chores were done before they left. Excitement, mixed with anxiety about the trip, was wearing on her nerves, making her unusually short and ill tempered with the children.

"You'll do the same things you do here," his mother replied. "You'll go fishing, hunting, and looking for animals in the woods."

"Why ya gotta go so far away to do all the same things you do here?" Luke asked.

"Well, we're not going away just so we can fish and hunt. The reason we're going, is to visit a dear friend of the family and his people," Michaela explained.

"Oh," Luke said, not understanding why anyone would travel so far to visit Indians.

Michaela was falling behind in her packing and growing tired of the endless questions. "Now, why don't you and Luke go outside to play, and Katie, please hand me that pile of dresses over there."

As Michaela and Katie busied themselves with the rest of the packing, Josef and Luke left the room. They raced each other down the stairs, their footsteps thundering like a herd of elephants. Once outside, they sat on the porch steps laughing and arguing about who was the first one down the stairs.

"Wanna play Cowboys and Indians?" Luke suggested from his spot on the stairs, his chin rested on his hands as he caught his breath.

"I get to be the Indian," Josef announced, eagerly jumping to his feet.

"Figures, your pa's one of 'em anyway."

"My pa ain't no Indian," Josef defended.

Luke walked down the stairs and faced Josef. "He wears funny clothes like the Indians and my pa says he was one before you were born."

"He was not."

"Was too." Before Josef could respond, Luke started running around the front yard. "You can't catch me you Indian savage," he shouted.

Josef knew his cue in this game of Cowboys and Indians. Letting out a fierce warrior cry, he bounded off the steps and gave chase. "I'm gonna get you and scalp you."

Just then, Sully exited the barn after hearing the boys' ruckus. He stood in stunned disbelief as he listened to the words coming from his son's mouth.

"Then I'll get your whole family and burn down your house," Josef yelled, running right past his father.

Sully reached his long arms out, grabbing his son by the shoulders as he ran by. "Whoa, what do ya think you're doin'?"

"We're playin' Cowboys and Indians," Josef replied, oblivious to his father's distress.

"Come here," Sully said, guiding him over to the front porch. His calm exterior was at odds with his heart that was banging against his ribcage. "You too, Luke. I wanna talk to ya."

Luke took several slow steps to join Josef and Sully on the stairs. The boy knew by Sully's expression that they had done something wrong, but he didn't know what. "We was only playin' Mr. Sully."

"I know that Luke, but do you two know what you were sayin'? Josef, why did you threaten ta scalp Luke an' burn down his house?"

"I was playin' an Indian. I didn't mean it for real."

"Do you think that's what an Indian does?"

Josef nodded. "Indians killed lots of people movin' out here and they scalped 'em and burned down their houses."

"If it wasn't for General Custer more people would've died," Luke added, trying to be helpful, and proud that he knew so much.

Sully shuddered at their words and struggled to maintain his composure. "Where'd you hear that?"

"School," Josef replied.

"It's true Mr. Sully. My ma says Indians burned down her house when she first got here, before she married my pa. She says it's good they're on reservations now."

Sully took a deep breath. "Josef, I've been teachin' you how the Cheyenne live, their respect for living things. Is that what you think they do?"

"No." Josef shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know." In the mind of a seven year old, the Cheyenne in his father's stories were good, but the Indians he learned about in school were bad. "Mary Hodges' pa was killed by Indians and our history book says they're bad. They hurt people. They killed Custer and he was a hero. Mrs. Slicker says we had to put them on reservations so they wouldn't hurt no more people."

"Both of you listen ta me," Sully began. Every muscle in his body stiffened from the depth of his rage at what he had just heard. With several deep breaths he tried to restrain his anger so as not to frighten the children. After all, his anger wasn't directed at the children, just the one-sided way they were being taught. "The killin' of Mary's pa was wrong, but when that happened, we were in a war an' innocent folks died on both sides. But what you're bein' told ain't the whole story. Did ya also learn in school that the Indians lived on this land for generations before the whites decided ta settle here? Did they teach you that whatever the Indians did, it was so they could keep their way o' life? They only wanted ta live free an' raise their families same as you an' me."

Josef remained quiet. He didn't understand all the words his father was saying, but he knew he was mad. His father often spoke of the Cheyenne and told him stories, but he couldn't remember meeting a real Indian. All the children in school said the Indians were bad. His history book called them savages and celebrated the Army's victories. Once he remembered his sister saying what the other children said were lies, but he didn't know what was true and what wasn't. The little boy didn't know what to think. His father always told him the truth, but didn't books always tell the truth, too?

"Josef, did they teach you any of what I just said?" Sully repeated.

"No," he replied, his eyes fixed steadily on the ground.

"I didn't think so. Josef, I thought we taught you better than this." Sully stood up and faced the boys. "I'm gonna take Luke home now, and I want you ta go up ta your room an' think about what your ma and me told you about the Cheyenne. When I get home, you and me are gonna talk about this. And I wanna see that school book." Finished with his lecture, Sully walked away and began hitching the horses to the wagon while the boys remained on the stairs with their heads hung low.

"He's mad," Josef said.

"He gonna hit ya?" Luke asked.

"No. My pa don't hit us."

"Mine either."

"I don't know what I did was so wrong. I didn't say nothin' bad about the Cheyenne."

"I reckon he's gonna tell ya. Told ya he was one of 'em.

* * *

Sully gazed out his bedroom window, his troubled mind clouding his view. All evening he had been too disturbed by the game he saw the boys playing to think about anything else. Even his talk with Josef earlier did little to improve his mood. His son felt badly, there was no denying that, but Sully wasn't sure if it was because he disappointed his father or because he understood the error of his game. In talking with Josef, he discovered that his son didn't understand how his hostile words about the Indians were related to the Cheyenne. Josef's words, "I didn't say anything bad about the Cheyenne," echoed over and over in his head. Somehow, in his son's mind, the Cheyenne his father talked about weren't the same as the Indians he learned about in school. One was good and the other bad. Sully tried to correct that, to impress upon him how violent words can lead to violent actions, and how believing what you hear or read about people can lead to blind hatred. He told him he needed to meet and get to know different people, to judge people by how they treat others, and form his own opinions. Only time would tell if his messages got through to him.

His children had never had an opportunity to get to know the Indians as real people. Sully thought back to when he first arrived in Colorado Springs; there were several thousand Indians living freely on their land. Today there were none. In less than twenty years, the United States government had sharply reduced their numbers and placed the remaining Cheyenne in the Indian Territory in Oklahoma. Some had fled the reservation and moved north, but he believed their freedom would be short lived, as they, too, would be placed on reservations. Even Cloud Dancing, a man who had lived free for so long, now lived confined to a reservation.

With no Indians to learn from, his children were being taught about them in school. The people he regarded as his family were being described as nothing more than savages, an obstacle to be overcome in the name of progress. What his children were being taught disturbed him. Mrs. Slicker was a good teacher, but she never liked the Indians and she certainly wasn't about to tell the whole story. Even if she did, the history books told their own story of the Indians, exactly how the government wanted it told – that killing them was a good and necessary action. Sully couldn't bear it if his children accepted that as the truth.

He tried his best to teach them about the Cheyenne. He taught them to respect the land and the animals just as the Cheyenne had taught him. He told them Cheyenne legends just as he had done with Brian, but by having known no real Indians they were just stories to Josef…like the Arabian Nights or Robinson Caruso. It had been different with Brian. He had experienced their everyday life and customs, along with the brutality of what the Army did at Sand Creek, and later Washita. He had seen the Indians starving on the reservation, witnessed them fighting to keep their culture alive, and had made a friend called No Harm.

Sully's own flesh and blood never played with Indian children and never saw their suffering. Aside from some bits and pieces of stories, like their ma saving the life of Chief Black Kettle or how they had found Live in Hopes, he hadn't yet told them the full story of the Indian massacres at the hands of their government. Instead, he had chosen to wait until they were older, not realizing the mistake he had made in postponing the truth. They had heard it first in school, and then only from one perspective. No one would tell them the Cheyenne's side of the story unless he did.

As much as he tried to keep the Cheyenne alive in his children, it was an uphill battle. Josef was too young to remember Cloud Dancing. Katie remembered him and seemed to have more of an awareness of the Indians than her brother. She was fascinated by her mother's use of Cheyenne medicine in her practice and enjoyed accompanying her to collect plants, roots and herbs. Josef was interested in nature and animals, but he held none of the same curiosity about the Indians that his sister did.

Sully worried that everything he was working so hard to preserve would be lost in one generation, starting with his own child. His children would have no memory of the Cheyenne. They would grow up to see the Indians the way most other whites did – as savages. His body trembled as he meditated on those thoughts looking into the distance before him. He couldn't let that happen, and this trip they were taking was an important first step.

Michaela opened the door to the bedroom and noticed her husband staring out of the window, completely unaware of her presence. Moonlight creeping through the window illuminated his features, revealing slumped shoulders, arms crossed at his chest, and a quivering chin. All were telltale signs that he was upset about something.

Both he and Josef had been sullen all evening. She knew her son had disappointed his father, but with preparations for the trip keeping them both busy, they hadn't had a chance to speak about what happened. She couldn't imagine anything Josef could have done to upset Sully this deeply. Perhaps it wasn't only Josef. Perhaps he was having his own anxieties about visiting the reservation. She wanted to go to him, to offer comfort, and share some of her concerns about the trip, but she stood still with her hand on the doorknob, not wanting to add to his burdens.

As the door creaked shut Michaela remained frozen in place watching her husband. Silence permeated the room until Sully turned around to face her. "Kids asleep?"

"Yes. Josef rolled over and fell asleep immediately. He didn't even want a story." She paused to give Sully a chance to respond, but he just stared at her, his face an unreadable mask. "Do you want to tell me what happened between the two of you this afternoon?"

"Is everythin' ready for tomorrow?" he asked, avoiding her question.

"Yes. We're all packed and I've tried to anticipate every possibility."

A reluctant grin flickered at the corner of his mouth. "I'm sure ya did."

"Sully, please tell me what's bothering you."

Sully held out his hand beckoning Michaela to join him at the window. "The kids ain't gonna remember the Cheyenne."

Michaela went to her husband, slipping her arms around his waist from behind, pulling him back against her. Her touch was warm and welcoming. "Of course they are Sully. They're learning about them from you…and from me. And they'll learn even more on this trip. Isn't that one of the reasons we're going to Oklahoma, so they can learn and won't forget?"

"I overheard Josef playin' with Luke. He was an Indian an' he was sayin' he was gonna scalp Luke and burn down his house."

"Oh dear! So that's what has you so upset."

He jolted around to face her, raising his voice. "Wouldn't you be?"

The anger in his eyes took her by surprise. "Of course I would be…I am." Michaela _was_ deeply disturbed by what her son had said. The Cheyenne were her friends, too. Images of Snow Bird, Cloud Dancing, Black Kettle, and many other brave and proud people flashed before her eyes. It was important to her that their children learned to view the Cheyenne as she and Sully did. Together they would help them understand who the Cheyenne were and what was happening to them. Michaela felt this trip could be an important first step toward achieving that goal. Clasping her husband's hand, she looked up at him. "We should speak to Josef about this right away."

Sully turned back toward the window. "I already talked ta him about it."

Michaela rested her hand on the small of his back. "I'm sorry. I was too distracted by the last minute packing to notice that something serious had occurred with Josef. We should have spoken to him together."

Sully's face calmed a little. "I should've told ya right away. I was so upset that I took Luke right home. The minute I got back, I talked ta Joe."

"How did it go?"

"I'm not exactly sure. He thinks Indians raid villages an' kill folks. He don't know nothin' 'bout 'em. He thinks…Custer's…a…hero," he stuttered these last words, barely audible.

"He's only seven years old Sully. He'll learn about them from us. You'll see. He was very upset this evening. You're the world to him. He doesn't want to disappoint you."

Sully inhaled deeply. "I know he felt bad, but I can't have 'im sayin' those things an' do nothin'. When we get back, we're gonna talk ta Theresa 'bout how she's teachin' the kids about the Indians, and we gotta take a real close look at their schoolbooks."

"I agree, we should speak with her, but I also think that as Josef gets older it's the lessons we teach him that he's going to remember. We'll teach him the kind of person to be. And he couldn't have a better role model for a man than his own father," she soothed, running her hand up and down his back.

Sully relaxed a little at her words. "This trip is even more important now, Michaela. I want Josef ta see the Indians for who they really are. I want 'im ta play with Cheyenne children an' understand first hand all the things I been teachin' 'im. Maybe then when we get home, he won't be so quick ta believe what Mrs. Slicker or the other kids tell 'im about 'em."

"I want that for him, too, Sully," she said softly, her voice unsteady.

Sully sensed her unease and could see the worry lines etched across her face. "What is it?"

"I'm concerned about how we'll be treated by the Cheyenne. They've been through so much and I can understand their anger, but I don't want the children to see it and be afraid of them. Sully, you've been their friend for years and some of them treated you with hostility in Montana. If we face that same kind of treatment, it will only make matters worse."

"I don't want that either. I been thinkin'. Maybe things'll be different this time."

"You don't have any reason to believe that, do you?"

"We're goin' ta Oklahoma, not Montana. These are Southern Cheyenne. We even know some of 'em from Black Kettle's village."

Michaela reached for his hand. "What makes you think they won't have the same anger at whites as the Northern Cheyenne? From what we know their conditions are even worse."

"Up north they were tryin' ta live free. The Southern Cheyenne have been livin' on this reservation for years. They're tryin' ta get along with the whites. They're tryin' ta farm and sendin' their kids ta school."

"That's true." She hesitated for a moment, gathering her thoughts, concern for him growing stronger. "Sully, I don't want you getting your hopes up about this trip either. I couldn't bear to see your heart broken again. The Cheyenne way of life as you knew it is over. The reality is they aren't free to hunt buffalo and perform their ceremonies. They live on government rations and send their children to white schools. I know how you long to help them, how you still feel a bond to them as your family, but we're going there so we can visit and so our children will see firsthand the life of the Cheyenne people. It'll be two weeks for us all to spend time with Cloud Dancing and rebuild some of the ties we've lost since he's decided to be with his people. This trip is for the children and for us, too."

"It might not be any different," he murmured. Then he walked toward the dresser to remove his beads and his shirt. "Michaela, about the time. Can ya try ta be flexible?"

"Flexible?"

"Let's not plan everythin'. We'll come home when we're ready."

Michaela's body tensed. "Sully, I told Jason four weeks and it's only proper to abide by my commitment to him."

"Ya gotta give him a general idea, but it don't have ta be exact." Sully finished undressing and climbed into bed.

Michaela stood by the washbasin. She could feel the familiar fluttering in her stomach return, as her concern about their trip heightened. As much as she was looking forward to seeing Cloud Dancing again, she was also worried about how this trip would affect Sully.

Though she never spoke of it to her husband, at times she was ambivalent about the place of the Cheyenne in their lives. She wanted her children to know and respect these brave and noble people. Yet, at the same time, not sharing their struggles on a daily basis left her family in less danger. She almost lost her husband at the uprising at Palmer Creek and she never again wanted to feel the despair of not knowing whether he was dead or alive. These feelings filled her with guilt. She loathed what was happening to the Cheyenne, but she was relieved they didn't have to witness their day to day suffering. She couldn't bear to see the pain in Sully's eyes at not being able to help them or suffering from the government's repercussions if he tried.

Sully lay in bed, his arms behind his head, propped up on a pillow. "Michaela?" He was still waiting for a response to his question.

Michaela startled, realizing that she never answered him. "All right, I'll try to be flexible."

He chuckled. "Can't ask for any more than that. Now come ta bed. We gotta be up early tomorrow."

Michaela changed into her nightgown, crawled under the covers and instinctively moved closer to the warmth of her husband's body. She willed herself to push her fears aside for Sully's sake.

Sully lowered his arm and placed it across her back. "It's _real_ important, Michaela. I want Josef ta play with Indian children and get ta know the Cheyenne as people."

"He will, Sully. We can't change what's happening to them, but we can make certain that our family knows who the Cheyenne are and tells their story to others." Snuggling closer to her husband, Michaela rested her head on his shoulder, bringing her hand up to rest on his chest.

They both reflected on their own thoughts for a while before Michaela spoke again, "You know, this is the last night we'll be sleeping in a real bed for quite a while."

Sully ran his hand from her shoulder to her elbow in a gentle caress. "We won't have much privacy on this trip either."

"I was thinking the same thing."

"Maybe we should make the most of our last night alone, huh?" Sully rolled over, locked his eyes with hers, and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips.

Michaela wrapped her arms around his neck to draw him closer. "What do you have in mind?"

Again, Sully covered her mouth with his, his hands moving along her body in the familiar way she loved. She didn't speak…words weren't necessary as her body answered his perfectly.

**To Be Continued**

* * *

_Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear what you think._


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company. _

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Two**

Sully carried the trunk from their bedroom to the front porch, the muscles in his arms taut, his face creased in concentration. The weight of the chest caused him to sway back and forth in an unsteady motion, as if drunk. Pausing for a moment, he lowered his heavy burden to the wooden floorboard and flexed his arms, rubbing them hard to restore their circulation. "Michaela," he muttered under his breath. "What'd ya put in here?" Still breathing heavily, he lifted the large trunk again, carried it down the porch steps, and carefully placed it into the covered wagon. Sully climbed out of the wagon, his arms still throbbing, and stood for a few moments to catch his breath while staring at the items that still needed to be loaded for their trip. As the feeling slowly returned to his arms and hands, he loaded the medical supplies, bedrolls, cooking supplies, extra blankets and the tent Michaela convinced him to take.

The range of items his wife insisted was necessary never ceased to amaze him. If it were up to him, they would manage with only bedrolls, one change of clothes, a knife, soap, and a small cooking pot, far less than Michaela had packed. But over the years, Sully had learned to hold his tongue when it came to his wife's tendency to plan and pack for every possible occurrence. Often she included too much of everything, but invariably, she had added the one item that proved essential to their safety on a trip. For that alone, having too many socks and shirts seemed like a small price to pay.

Wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, he bent down to pick up a crate of food, when he heard a rider approaching the homestead. Returning the crate to the ground, he turned around and smiled.

"Hey Brian, glad ya decided ta come along," Sully said, a combination of pleasure and surprise in his voice.

Brian dismounted his horse, tied it to the rail, and hurried toward Sully. "Sorry I took so long to make up my mind."

Sully shook his son's hand. "Don't matter. I'm real glad you're here." He reached for Brian's bag, laying it alongside the trunk. "Is everythin' all right?"

"Yeah. Where'd this come from?" Brian pointed to the unfamiliar covered wagon.

"Robert E. got it for me," Sully replied, loading the last of the supplies. "I thought it'd make the trip easier on the family."

At the sound of the front door opening, both Brian and Sully looked up to see Michaela step onto the porch holding Katie and Josef by the hand.

"Brian!" she exclaimed, immediately spotting her son standing next to her husband. "I'm so glad you decided to come with us." With her children by her side, Michaela closed the distance between them to embrace her older son. Then Brian knelt down to hug his little brother and sister.

"All set?" Sully asked Michaela as he lifted Katie and Josef into the wagon. "Come on boy," he called to Wolf. The Sully family's faithful companion was getting on in years and had earned the luxury of riding in the wagon. Hearing his name, Wolf stretched to his full length, jumped into the wagon, and curled up next to the children.

Michaela took one long last look at the homestead then let her eyes roam to the road in the hopes of seeing Dorothy riding up in the distance. Even though her friend had made it clear she wasn't joining them, Michaela couldn't help hoping she would reconsider. After a few moments, she turned back to her husband. "Yes, I'm ready, but could we wait a few more minutes for Dorothy?"

"I thought you said she wasn't comin'?"

"I did, but I was hoping maybe…"

"She ain't comin' Michaela."

Swallowing hard, disappointment weighed on her chest. "I suppose not."

Sully met her eyes and they shared a silent look of regret over Dorothy's decision. Then Sully placed his hands around Michaela's waist and lifted her onto the front seat of the wagon. Walking around to the other side, he pulled himself up to the driver's bench and grasped the reins. Brian trotted his horse up beside them.

"Papa, when will we be there?" Josef asked.

Sully lightly chuckled. "'Bout a week, give or take a few days."

"How many days?"

Sully tapped Josef's nose. "You'll go ta sleep seven times and then we'll be there."

"That's a long time," Katie chimed in, still trying to find a comfortable position in the back of the wagon.

"Don't think of it as gettin' someplace. Try enjoyin' all the things we'll see and do on the way there." With the reins firmly in hand, Sully steered the wagon away from the homestead.

Michaela poked her head around the side of the wagon as she watched the homestead fade away behind her. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was forgetting something important, leaving behind an item that was certain to make a difference on this trip to Oklahoma. Was it that extra crate of provisions Sully convinced her not to take? The flannel long johns she expected the children may need if the nights turned chilly? Or was it her dearest friend, whose heart had ached for this trip, and was now missing it?

The lingering hope, that perhaps Dorothy had changed her mind and would decide to join them, weighed heavily on Michaela's mind. As the homestead gradually disappeared from view, Michaela faced forward and feebly tried to turn her thoughts to the journey ahead, rather than the town, the patients and the friends, she was leaving behind.

What began as a gray morning had turned into a bright sunny day with hardly a cloud in the sky; it was a sign of hope for a safe and pleasant journey. It was a perfect day to begin this trip, she thought. The weather was beautiful, the children were eager to get away, and Brian had decided to join them after all. So far, the trip appeared promising for the whole family. While beginning to anticipate the enjoyment they'd have on this visit, Michaela's daydreaming was interrupted by the sound of her name being called.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Yes, what?"

"You said my name."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did Sully," she began to retort. "I heard you say, 'Mic…"

"Michaela!"

"Sully, did you hear that?" Michaela jumped out of her seat in expectation as she searched the dusty path behind them.

"What?"

"Slow down. I hear it again."

"There's no one there Michaela. We gotta get ta Pueblo before sundown."

"Wait! Wait for me," a voice called from the distance.

"Ma, it's Miss Dorothy," Brian yelled. "Pa, slow down."

Sully pulled up on the reins to stop the horses as Michaela's head peered around the cover of the wagon. Through a whirlwind of sand and dust, Dorothy emerged. She was riding hard and fast to catch up to the wagon as dirt from the road swirled behind her.

"We gave up on you," Sully said, jumping down from his seat to greet Dorothy.

"Well, we almost did." The grin on Michaela's face was too wide to hide her overjoyed relief.

Dorothy tried to catch her breath. "I was…up all night…thinkin'," she said in short gasps. "I finally decided you were right."

"Careful, she loves hearin' that," Sully gently teased.

"Sully!" Michaela breathed pretending to take offense. Then she reached for Dorothy's hand and squeezed it in understanding. "I'm glad you decided to join us after all. I was beginning to think I'd have no other woman to talk to for weeks!" Giving a slight glance to Sully, knowing how he often found his wife's desire for social interaction humorous, she turned back to Dorothy. "It's too late to turn back now."

"Well," Dorothy began, "I'm not turning back now, and I can almost guarantee we'll have plenty to talk about."

* * *

With the fiery afternoon sun hovering high among the fluffy white clouds, the newly formed group continued on its path down the dirt packed road, away from Colorado Springs. Michaela drove the wagon with Dorothy by her side, the children and Wolf in the back, while Sully and Brian led the way on horseback.

As they made their way over the rugged terrain, they found a world of intense greens and browns surrounding them on either side of the wagon. High above them, walls of red granite jutted out like a canopy, forming a natural protective cover. Along the side of the road, the columbine were in full bloom, their starry, blue and white flowers nodding on the end of long, slender stems.

After a long hard day of travel, the towering Rockies finally receded into the distance. A seemingly endless variety of trees, more than even they could name, covered the landscape and moved up the mountainside. There, they paused giving way to the gnarled dwarfed pines that dotted the sheer stone walls of the higher peaks.

"Mama, are we there yet?" Katie had grown restless from sitting for so long. She was pressed against the side of the wagon scratching Wolf behind the ears as his head lay in her lap.

Michaela turned around to face the children. "It won't be much longer." She noticed Josef on his knees leaning over the side of the wagon. "Josef, please sit down."

Josef sighed from boredom and sat back down with his legs crossed in front of him. "I don't wanna ride in the wagon no more."

"I'm hungry," Katie said.

"Sully," Michaela called to her husband, who was several yards ahead of them.

He turned around at the sound of her voice. "Yeah?"

"How much longer until we stop? The children need a rest."

"Not much longer now."

Michaela turned back to the children. "It won't be much longer. Katie, there are apples in the basket. After you finish eating, why don't the two of you try to take a nap?"

"I'm not tired," Josef said. He reached for a book and began flipping through the pages.

"Me neither," echoed Katie, removing an apple from the basket. Turning around, she noticed Josef with her book. "He's got my book," she tattled, leaning across the wagon and reaching to snatch the book out of her brother's hands. "Give it back."

"I wanna look at it. There's nothing else ta do," Josef complained.

"Katie, why don't you read the book to your brother? That way, both of you can enjoy it," Michaela suggested, with a heavy sigh. The children had been restless for the past two hours. She tried engaging them in singing songs, naming all the trees on the road, and even practicing Cheyenne words, but they soon lost interest. Now, they couldn't seem to sit still and were asking to stop every few minutes.

"Michaela, I don't know about you, but I agree with the children. We've been in this wagon a long time," Dorothy said. Her backside was burning, her muscles aching, from hours of riding on the hard seat.

Michaela rubbed her lower back to ease her own pain. "I know. Sully wanted to be in Pueblo by supper. That way we'll only have one more day of hard riding. Then we can rest for a few days, while he surveys the land that's of interest to the lumber mill."

"It's a shame Sully has to work on your vacation, but it'll be nice to rest for more than a few hours at a time," Dorothy said, then hesitated, looking to her friend timidly. "Michaela, are you nervous?"

"Nervous?"

"About seeing Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne again?"

Michaela looked toward Sully, who was a good distance ahead of them, as she considered the question. It was a comfort to be able to share her own fears with a friend, without disappointing her husband, who was overjoyed at the chance to reunite with his old friend once again. "Truthfully, I am nervous. I'm worried about how we'll find the Cheyenne when we get to the reservation." She paused for a long moment. "But I'm looking forward to seeing Cloud Dancing again, aren't you?"

The sentence hung awkwardly in the air for a long moment before Dorothy answered. "I haven't seen Cloud Dancing in four years, Michaela. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, and other times it seems like another lifetime ago. I'm not even sure…I'm not even sure what to say to him."

Michaela smiled and squeezed her friend's hand in reassurance. "Why don't you start with hello, I'm glad to see you?"

Dorothy managed a weak smile and a nod in reply, but in her mind she wondered whether it would be that simple. Her heart, already torn by mixed emotions, knew it wouldn't.

While she never could come up with the correct word to define her relationship with Cloud Dancing, she knew he had been more than a friend. There was no denying they once had shared strong feelings for each other. They had spent countless hours together, talking, and telling stories of their backgrounds and their people. They had even begun to take their relationship to a whole new level by sharing a few sweet kisses and warm tender embraces when they were alone.

Though they never spoke of it, Dorothy knew a bond had formed between them, a bond that led down a road neither of them had ever traveled. Their relationship was more than a simple, fiery dime-novel romance. The bond they shared was one that would live inside them both throughout their years.

That all changed after the battle at Little Big Horn. After Custer's Last Stand, Dorothy began to realize that they had reached a fork in the road, a fork that would forever divide them. Dorothy saw less and less of Cloud Dancing after the summer of 1876. He visited Colorado Springs less often and spent more time in the Tongue River Valley. The last time they spoke, over four years ago now, Dorothy felt like she was losing him forever.

As she sat in the wagon, next to the closest friend she ever had, Dorothy's memories of her last night with Cloud Dancing once again came to life. Like a Phoenix rising from its ashes, they burned inside her with both the heat of passion and the chill of loss, dredging up old feelings she thought she had already laid to rest.

"_You're leaving," Dorothy guessed, reading the expression on his face as they were seated outside his lodge by the fire. _

"_Yes, at first light," Cloud Dancing replied, turning to look directly into her eyes. _

_Dorothy studied his face. Something was different. His eyes betrayed a sorrow that she had never seen before and it frightened her. Something about his leaving seemed different this time. Cloud Dancing typically spent a few months during the course of a year in Montana, but he would always return in time for the extinguishing flames of romance to be sparked alive once again. But this time, Dorothy feared they might go out, forever. _

_She swallowed hard. "You're not coming back are you?" she asked, though her heart already knew the answer. _

_Cloud Dancing's heart ached in turmoil. When he was in Montana he missed Dorothy and his friends in Colorado Springs, but the longer he was among the Cheyenne, consumed by helping them to survive, Colorado slowly faded from his thoughts. When he returned, the love he felt for Dorothy would come alive again. Yet, it was always accompanied by profound guilt for abandoning his people. In the safety of Colorado Springs, Cloud Dancing began to feel that the joy he experienced was a betrayal of his people and proof that he had failed to fulfill his duty to the tribe. The time had come for a decision. It was a decision that would put an end to the burning question of their future together. _

"_No…I must live among my people on the reservation now," he replied in almost a whisper. _

_Dorothy grasped his hands in desperation. "The reservation! No, Cloud Dancing. You can't go to the reservation. You won't survive. Go back to Montana where some of your people still live free. Then you can still visit Colorado Springs." She paused to wipe a tear away with the back of her hand. "I'll never see you again. Please don't do it."_

_At a loss for words to comfort her, Cloud Dancing edged closer and placed his arm around her shoulder. For several long moments, no words were spoken between them because there were no words that could change what was happening. "My brothers in the north will not be living free for long, and I can no longer stay here. Since Washita I have tried to live in two worlds. I fooled myself into believing that I could help my people with visits to the north while I selfishly refused to let go of Sully and…of you. In doing this, I have let my people down. Your government will only let the Cheyenne survive if they learn the ways of the white man, become like the white man. We saw that at Palmer Creek and it is the same on all the reservations. Yet, even if we change and adopt your ways, we will never be white. And by trying, we will lose our very nature. I must go back and help my people remember where they came from. I need to make sure the children know who they are even as it is being stripped away from them. People who do not know their history are lost. They can be easily manipulated and used by your government. My people will have no future if they do not know their past." The pleading look in his eyes begged her to understand and accept his decision._

"_What about…us?" Dorothy asked, her voice quivering._

"_Dorothy, I care about you, more than I thought it was possible for me to care about anyone, after Snow Bird. But what we have…have had…is all it can be…all it could ever be." His voice trailed off with emotion. _

_Dorothy wiped away the stinging tears that threatened to spill over. "Isn't what we have better than nothing at all? You have a choice Cloud Dancing. You're protected in this town. You once told me your true family was here, now that most of Black Kettle's band is gone. Sully, Michaela, the children…me. We're your family now. We can be together in Colorado Springs, and you can visit your people like you've been doing," she pleaded in a weak voice._

"_Dorothy, you have meant a great deal to me. You always will, but I cannot stay in Colorado any longer. I should not have stayed this long. Not when I have a duty to my people. I will not be the man I want to be if I do not put the needs of the Cheyenne before my own. My grandfathers taught me that the good of the tribe must always come first. I am ashamed that I have not always followed that path. I can no longer avoid my responsibility to my people."_

"_I don't want you to go. I don't know what I'll do without you."_

"_Dorothy, please do not make this harder on both of us. As strong as my feelings are for you, I cannot stand by while the Cheyenne are being destroyed. You must understand that about me by now. I will never have a day's rest if I don't go back and do something. My ancestors will haunt me forever." Cloud Dancing lowered his eyes and his voice. "They already do." He raised his eyes to hers. "And you cannot give up your freedom, your friends, and the Gazette to join me on the reservation. That is not the life I wish for you."_

"_But what can you do? You'll be living like a prisoner. What good does it do to give up your freedom now? You can't change what's happening."_

"_Perhaps not, but if I can reach the children and teach them about their great-grandfathers, about who they are, I will be able to rest."_

"_Please don't do this, Cloud Dancing."_

"_I must, and I will." _

_Dorothy's tears seared her cheeks, as they poured nearly uncontrollably from her red-rimmed eyes. Her heart raced and her chin quivered as she tried to form her words. "I…I don't…I don't know how to say goodbye to you."_

"_Nor I to you," he said. He took her into his arms and held her tight to his chest._

They stayed up all night, Dorothy recalled, talking and holding each other under a wool blanket, intricately woven with blazes of crimson red, shades of rust, and vibrant yellows. The blanket had been a gift to Cloud Dancing from Black Moon's tribe to thank him for helping them secure safe passage to the north. The colors and design brought to mind a fiery sunset and the burning flames of passion. In that night under the clear black sky, they shared the warmth of their love, neither of them wanting it to end. As soon as the sun peeked over the mountains, they would be letting go of something special, something neither of them would experience again. It had been a relationship that crossed not only the boundaries of their differing backgrounds, but also their ability to love again, a feeling both thought was dead inside them forever before they found each other.

Cloud Dancing had left the next morning for the reservation. It became his home for the next few years and he did his best to fight against the starvation and illness that plagued his people. Then one summer the children began to fall ill. Without a doctor to treat them and with a climate that was inhospitable to the plants and roots he needed to make his medicine, Cloud Dancing decided to escape to the north with several young families.

Once in the north, the children thrived and Cloud Dancing settled in with his Northern Cheyenne brothers. Witnessing Sully's struggle to discover where he belonged brought that question to the surface again for him. He never doubted the wisdom of bringing the children north, only his failure to return to Oklahoma and rejoin his people. Now Cloud Dancing had returned to the reservation for good.

Dorothy had lain awake all night deciding whether or not to come on this trip. Even now, she still wasn't sure if she made the right decision or if she knew where her heart would lead her on this journey. She wondered if it would lead her back into the arms of the man she once burned with desire for, or to a place where she could once and for all extinguish her lingering questions about whether they belonged together.

Dorothy knew that, no matter what happened, she had to see this through until the end. Michaela was right. More than anything Cloud Dancing was her friend and she wanted to see him again. She needed to see him again to assure herself that he was going to be all right living on the reservation, that his purpose was being fulfilled, and that he was happy…without her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Michaela watched as the maelstrom of raging emotions clouded Dorothy's face. She knew how hard Cloud Dancing's absence had been on both Sully and Dorothy. Though they both did their best to shield it from view, Michaela knew neither of them had filled the void left by Cloud Dancing's departure. Still, she was glad Dorothy came with them on this trip and glad she was going to have an opportunity to see Cloud Dancing again.

Both women were jolted back to the present by Katie's demanding voice. "When are we gonna stop?"

"It won't be much longer sweetheart," her mother reassured.

"You said that before."

"Yeah," Josef mimicked his sister.

Michaela sighed. "We're almost there. Why don't we play another game?"

"What kind of game?" Josef asked.

Michaela thought for a few moments. "Let's play the alphabet game."

"We already played that one," Katie said wearily.

"All right, how about the simile game?"

"What's that?" Josef asked, his interest piqued by the idea of a new game.

"A simile is when one word is likened to another," his mother provided.

"Huh?" Josef was confused.

"Colleen and Brian enjoyed this game when they were younger. I'll go first to show you how it's played." She paused to consider her turn. "We'll start with slow. As slow as an ant with arthritis. Now Katie, come up with something else that is as slow as."

Katie looked to the sky for an idea. "Uh…as slow as…Oh, I know. As slow as molasses."

"Very good," Michaela praised. "Josef, you're next."

"Uh, I don' know." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Try to think of something that's slow," Michaela offered.

Josef thought for a moment. "A turtle's slow," he replied.

"That's very good. Now, on your next turn, try to use the word in a simile."

"As slow as this day's trip," Dorothy provided, casting Michaela a wry glance.

"Katie, now it's your turn to start a new word."

"I like warm. As warm as a Colorado sunset," Katie offered.

"A fire is warm," Josef proudly said next.

"That's close enough," his mother replied.

"As warm as a Cheyenne crimson red blanket," Dorothy wistfully supplied, her thoughts drifting once again into the now open sea of her memories.

* * *

"Papa, tell us a story," Katie asked, after finishing her supper by the campfire.

Sully narrowed his eyes in concentration. "All right, wanna hear Running Ghost again?"

"No, we heard that lots o' times. Tell us a new story," Josef said, as he moved to squeeze in between his mother and father.

"A new story…hmm," Sully said, pausing to think for a few moments. "What do ya wanna hear a story about?"

"Tell 'em about buried treasure," Brian offered.

"Tell us a story about a wolf," Katie requested.

"A wolf. All right. I gotta try ta remember one." Sully closed his eyes to pull just the right story from the catalogue of Cheyenne stories in his mind. "I know. I'll tell ya of the Wolf Helper1," he replied, tossing a piece of leftover trout to Wolf.

"Wolf helps us," Josef said, eager for the story.

"He sure does, but this story's 'bout a different wolf."

Katie scooted to sit on the other side of her father, resting her head on his arm. Dorothy and Brian sat across from Sully giving him their complete attention.

Sully began, "Once upon a time there was a band of Cheyenne camping near Sand Creek. A ferocious battle took place very far from home that left two Cheyenne women alone with their children."

"Sully?" Michaela questioned giving him a concerned look. The memories of what happened at Sand Creek and Washita were always close to the surface.

He squeezed her knee. "Don't worry."

From the other side of the campfire, fondly recalling his childhood, Brian watched with amusement as Katie and Josef hung on every word their father spoke. In his mind's eye, he could almost see himself in Josef's place, eyes wide in excitement, eager to hear all the Cheyenne stories Sully knew. By now, Brian was familiar with the tales, having grown up hearing them for most of his life. Legends of brave Cheyenne warriors and mystical animals were emblazoned in his memory bank waiting for the time he could share them with his own children. Brian wondered if these stories would hold the same meaning to Josef or even his own children as they did to him. Unlike when he was their age, Katie and Josef didn't know any Cheyenne. Would these Indian legends telling the ancient history of the Cheyenne people, that had been passed down for generations, seem as foreign as mere fairy tales about kings and dragons in far away lands?

Brian was glad they were taking this trip, glad that his siblings would meet the people their father thought of as his family, but he was worried reservation life had changed the Cheyenne he knew. It saddened him that they were not a part of Katie and Josef's life. He remembered how much he learned from them and the fun he had visiting their village with Sully when he was little. By the time he had children who were Katie and Josef's age, he wondered if there would be any Cheyenne left to visit. Brian shook himself to banish these last thoughts from his mind and turned his attention back to the story already in progress.

"The weather had turned bitter cold. As darkness fell, the temperature dropped, the winds intensified, and the women grew more concerned. They needed to find their way back to their homes soon because they would not survive the winter out all alone far from their tribe."

"This is a scary story Papa. Pick another one," Katie said, burying her face in his side.

Sully placed his arm around her shoulder, drawing her closer. "Trust me, Kates. You're gonna like it." He continued, "The women and children started for home with no food, only their knives, a short-handled axe, and their robes. They traveled on and on, until they reached Smokey Hill River where they feasted on rose berries. They had no idea where their camp was or what direction to head so they just followed the river. One night, after they had been traveling for many days, they came upon a bluff near the riverbank. They sought shelter in a hole in the bluff barely big enough to hold them. It was so cold they wondered if they would make it through the night in the little shelter."

"Are they gonna get home Papa?" Josef interrupted.

"Josef, give your father a chance to tell the story," Michaela urged. She rose to lift the kettle from the fire to make tea for the adults and hot cocoa for the children. Brian, having heard this story before, helped her fill the tin cups and passed them around the campfire. Dorothy remained still, listening as intently as the children.

Sully went on. "They laid their robes all around them for warmth. In the middle of the night, a wolf came into the hole and lay down beside them. He was big, with a heavy gray and silver coat of fur that kept him warm through the snowy winter nights. As he turned to acknowledge the women who shared his den, the Cheyenne say the women felt his gleaming yellow eyes piercing right through them. Though afraid of the wolf, the women relaxed once they saw it resting peacefully. The next morning they started on and the wolf followed close, yet kept its distance."

"Is the wolf gonna sniff the ground and follow the people's tracks?" Josef interrupted again. "Like our wolf does?"

Sully smiled at his son, ignoring the interruption. Reaching for a cup of tea, he continued. "The women often stopped to rest, their feet sore and their moccasins worn. Whenever they rested, the wolf lay down nearby. At one of their stops, the older woman spoke to the wolf as if he was a person. 'Oh wolf, try to do something for us. We and our children are hungry,' the woman told the wolf." Sully looked up to interject, "The Cheyenne believe that some people can talk to and understand the language of the wolves and this woman did." He continued with the story. "The wolf seemed to listen to her words and rose to his feet and took off. A little while later the wolf returned and led them to the carcass of a buffalo surrounded by a circle of many wolves. Despite their sore feet and stiff limbs, the women started to walk fast toward the carcass, for here was food. A silent audience of wolves sat waiting; they were not feeding on the carcass."

"Why didn't the wolves eat the meat?" Josef asked.

"Why do you think?" Brian asked them.

"They were letting the women and children eat first," Katie replied.

"That's right," Sully said. "The women feasted on buffalo meat and filled their packs with meat to carry for the trip. Once the women left, the wolves feasted on what remained of the carcass. For the next several days the women walked and the wolf trailed along beside them. When they slept, they made a bed of willows and grass for the wolf to sleep on."

"One night, the women heard a loud noise outside their shelter. It was like a sharp scream that penetrated the peacefulness of the night. The sound wasn't familiar, but it grew louder as the echoes rippled through the air. The women feared it was coming closer." Katie and Josef had their heads buried on each side of their father, scared for the women.

"Outside they heard the pack of wolves approaching their camp, the leaves of the soft forest bed crinkling beneath their light footsteps. A thick haze from the cold blanketed the moonlight so that the women couldn't see into the night. They could only hear the noises, coming closer and closer." Sully paused, lowering his voice in deference to the impending danger. "As a screech rang out so close it was nearly deafening, it sent shivers through the women and children. In fear, they gathered their belongings, preparing to run. But, just as the older woman was leaving, she turned back at the growls and cries behind her to see the wolves attacking the family's unknown predator."

"Where's the wolf? Is he hurt?" Josef asked

"The wolf's fine. In fact, the next morning, while the women and children were breaking their new camp, the wolf came toward them and lay down to rest in their camp. The elder woman spoke to the wolf again, 'Wolf, take pity on us. Help us to find the trail of our people.' The wolf trotted away. When he came back he led them to an old camp where there were sticks standing in the ground, and on each stick hung a sack of meat."

"Why was the meat on a stick?" Katie asked.

"So the animals wouldn't get it," Josef guessed.

"That's part of it," his father said. "The Indians left them on sticks for members of the tribe who had lost their way, so they could have food and find their way back to camp."

"Were the sticks left by their family? Josef asked.

"Yeah. Now the women had plenty of food. They built a shelter with a place for the wolf. The next day, the woman asked the wolf for help in finding their camp. The wolf went away, but he was not gone long. When he came back, he led the women to the point of a high hill where they saw a large Cheyenne camp on the river below. The women ran down to the camp, leaving the wolf behind. After the women had eaten, the older woman took meat, and told the people that a wolf had led them to the camp, and she was going back to give him something to eat. After the wolf had eaten, she said to him, 'Now you have brought us to the camp, you can go back to your old ways.' Late that evening, the woman went up the hill again to see if the wolf was there, but he was gone. She saw his tracks going back the same way that he had come. The women and children went on to live happily with their family and the wolf lived happily with his family."

"Good story, Papa," Katie said with a yawn.

"Why didn't the wolf stay with the Indians?" Josef asked.

"The wolf went back to his pack," Sully answered, his hands wrapped around the warm liquid. "Among the Cheyenne, wolves are one of the most respected animals and are never killed. The Cheyenne believe the wolves are brave protectors and guides for the lost."

"They look out for people, like our wolf looks out for us," Katie added.

"But our wolf stays with us," Josef said.

"Yes, he does, but maybe that wolf had a family to get back to and he was just helping the Indians find their way home," his mother provided.

"I'm glad Wolf stayed with us," Josef said, reaching out to pet Wolf who had curled up at his feet.

"Me, too," Sully replied, scratching Wolf behind the ears.

Josef looked back at his father. "But how can a wolf understand what the lady was sayin'?"

"Joe, wolves understand more than ya think, maybe not in our words, but by sounds and how we act. It's more about us learnin' ta understand the wolf that's important. Wolf'll watch out for you if you pay attention ta him," his father replied.

"Is that a true story Papa?" Katie asked.

"They say it's true. Tellin' these stories is how the Cheyenne pass down their history," Sully said, pausing to take a sip of tea. "I heard this one in Black Kettle's village. We gotta remember these stories. The Cheyenne believe that the stories are the very lives of the people."

"Sully, how did you ever learn so many Cheyenne stories," Dorothy asked.

"From livin' with 'em and hearin' 'em tell the children these stories. I always hoped ta have kids to tell 'em to one day," he replied, as he stroked his son's honey brown hair. Sully lingered over his tea, enjoying the feel of his children cuddled close beside him and his wife's head resting on his shoulder. The conversation had died down, and the children's bodies had grown heavy, telling him they would soon be asleep. The air was cool, but still, and the comforting smell of burning pinewood embers permeated the campsite. Sully's eyelids started to grow heavy when a night bird erupted into song, singing its heart out, urgent and feverish.

Josef jolted from that state between waking and sleeping, rubbing his eyes. "What's that noise? It's the same noise as in the story," he said, frightened.

"Just a night bird lookin' for somethin' to eat," his father replied. "It's time we get you two ta sleep."

But all this talk of Indians had gotten Josef thinking. He turned to face his father. "Papa, are you a half-beed?"

"Josef," Michaela uttered, taken aback.

Sully held up his hand letting her know it was all right. "It's half-breed son and no I'm not a half-breed. Where did you hear that?"

"Jimmy Baker says you're a half-breed," Josef told him.

"Do you know what that is?" Sully asked in an even tone.

"No, but I think it's bad."

"Why do you think it's bad?"

"'Cause Jimmy says it to be mean."

"Half-breed is what folks call someone who has one parent who's Indian and the other white," Sully explained. "It's meant ta hurt 'em, but there's nothin' wrong with havin' parents o' different races."

"That's all. They're half Indian?" Katie said, now fully awake.

"That's all," Michaela chimed in.

"Where are your parents, Papa?" Katie asked.

"They passed on a long time ago, Katie."

"Are they with Grandma in heaven?"

"Yeah, they're up there," Sully replied vaguely, looking toward the sky.

"They weren't Indian?" Josef asked.

Sully chuckled. "No, they were from England."

"Papa, how'd you meet Cloud Dancing?" Katie's head lolled against his shoulder.

"He found me a long time ago, before I met your ma. I lived with him and his people for a while."

"He found you? Were ya lost?" Josef asked.

"Yeah, Joe, I was lost."

Josef leaned over and put his head in his father's lap drifting back into his drowsy state. "I'm glad he found you."

"So am I," Michaela agreed, taking his hand in hers.

"Is Cloud Dancing really my Cheyenne father?" Katie was struggling to stay awake as her eyes grew heavy.

"Yeah. Cloud Dancin' is like a brother ta me. The Cheyenne believe that the brother of the father is also the father. So he's like a father to both you and Josef."

"So if he is my father, too, doesn't that make me and Joey half-breeds since Mama's white?"

"Uh…well…not exactly," Sully replied.

Michaela noticed the children fighting their exhaustion to stay awake so she started to rise. "Enough questions for tonight. It's time for bed."

"Night, Papa," Katie said, hugging him tight.

"Night, my sweet girl," Sully replied.

Josef gave his father a hug then reached for his mother's hand, ready for sleep.

1 Adapted from Grinnell, George Bird. _"The Wolf Helper," By Cheyenne Campfires,_ Yale University Press, 1926.

**To Be Continued**

* * *

_Thank you so much for reading and for all the encouraging comments. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company. _

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Three**

The next day, Sully roused everyone before dawn, re-loaded the wagon, and assured that they were on their way before the first rays of faint gray light filled the sky. With much ground to cover on this day, the adults took turns steering the wagon toward the forest, the first shift belonging to Dorothy and Brian, while Michaela and Sully led the way on horseback.

The melodic, fluty song of a western tanager serenaded the travelers as they headed south through acres of deciduous woodlands. As the hours passed, the sun climbed through the sky, dappling the ground with light between the branches of the trees. A crisp wind rustled the leaves, creating a delicate dance of light and shadows on the ground beneath the wagon. Only the sounds of a chorus of birds welcoming the day permeated these early morning hours of the ride, as each person, mesmerized by the flashes of light illuminating the way, seemed lost in their own thoughts.

In the distance, an occasional mountain rose out of the flat grassy landscape demanding to be noticed. Standing tall and proud, its presence evoked a sense of peaceful reassurance to the travelers. In a world that moved too fast and embraced perpetual change, the mountains represented a reassuring constant. Like a compass, they served as nature's most impressive point of reference to guide both wandering men and beasts along their journey.

"Can you imagine losing all of this?" Brian was the first to break the silence as he drove the wagon through a grove of tall aspen trees.

"No, I can't," Dorothy replied, her eyes roaming from the thick base of a giant aspen up toward the sky, the top of the tree out of sight to the naked eye. She was struck by how much she now cared about the land. Before she met Cloud Dancing, she took the natural beauty of the trees, mountains, and streams for granted. It never occurred to her to question their destruction in the name of progress, for in her view, the land existed for man's use and benefit. The notion of man having a responsibility to give back to the earth was as foreign as the Cheyenne were to her when she first arrived in Colorado Springs. In a few short years, Cloud Dancing had turned all her long-held beliefs inside out. He taught her to value the precious gifts of the earth and instilled in her a desire to protect some parts of this vast wilderness for future generations. Just last year, she published an editorial in The Gazette urging restraint in man's appetite for development. As she thought of this now, she smiled to herself at how proud Cloud Dancing would have been. "I'm glad Sully will have a say in what they do with the forests around here. Some of these trees look to be hundreds of years old," she said.

"They are," Brian noted, his eyes searching each tree as if trying to imagine the landscape without them. "I'm real glad you came with us, Miss Dorothy."

Dorothy hesitated before answering. Her memories stirred feelings she had long thought been put to rest. With each passing day, this trip became more difficult. The long days in the wagon had been exhausting both physically and mentally. Hours spent alone with her thoughts caused Dorothy to worry she had made the wrong decision in joining Michaela on this trip. Rather than feel joy about visiting with an old friend, she was nervous and anxious. Tormented and confused by her emotions, she found it harder and harder to greet each new dawn. Yet, she feared the hardest part still lay ahead.

"I am too, Brian," she finally said, her voice catching with emotion. Even as she spoke, she doubted the truth of her words.

"Are you worried about the Gazette?" Brian asked, sensing some unease in her.

"A little," she replied. "But, I'm sure Preston managed to get the last issue out. I just hope nothing important happens at home that we'll miss reporting on while we're gone."

"Not much'll happen. Maybe someone will get engaged or have a baby or some new business will come to town," Brian relayed, his voice laced with a hint of resignation. "Just the same ol' things that always happen around Colorado Springs."

Dorothy noticed the slight edge to his voice and waited a few moments before speaking. "Brian, don't you think it's time you moved on from The Gazette?"

"What do you mean?" Brian turned his eyes from the road to face her, not sure whether to be insulted by her presumption or relieved at her insight.

"You're a grown man with a college education. You have experience working at The Boston Globe and you've been published in The New York Times. Isn't it time you wrote more than the daily happenings in Colorado Springs?"

"I do write more than that," he said defensively, as he tightened his grip on the reins. "I had two articles published in The New York Times last year. The Denver Chronicle published my article on Charles Elliott Perkins buying The Red Rocks and how he's leaving it alone so it can be enjoyed by the public."

"Brian, don't get me wrong. I love having you at The Gazette, but it can never take full advantage of your talent. Though the paper has grown with the town, the articles are still provincial in nature. There's nothing to rival the scope of The Times or The Globe." Dorothy hesitated, gauging his reaction before continuing. "I sense you're restless. You have been for some time now. Maybe you should think about taking a job in Denver or in another larger city."

"I don't want to leave Colorado Springs," Brian said in barely a whisper.

"Because of Sarah?"

"Yeah." He hesitated, before adding, "And my family."

"Do you want to marry her?"

"Sometimes I think I do, but other times, I don't think I'm ready to get married yet. Besides, I want to experience more of the world before I get married, and I can't do that from my own front porch."

"Have you talked to your ma or Sully about how you're feeling?"

"No."

"Well, for goodness sakes, why not?"

Brian's hands were wet with perspiration, and he was having trouble holding onto the reins. Lately, conversations with Sully, more often than not, turned into arguments. It was hard to admit the tension to himself let alone share it with Dorothy, so he just shrugged. "They like having me nearby. They've only just gotten used to my not living at the homestead," he chuckled.

"All parents want their children close. When my girls married and moved away, it was difficult for me, but I knew it was time for them to build their own lives. Michaela and Sully know the time will come when you need to carve out your own place in the world and they'll support you in whatever you decide to do. You know that don't you?"

"I guess."

"Sometimes it's easier to talk with someone who's not family. Someone who is more removed from the situation. You can talk to me Brian. I'd like to help you if I can."

Brian hesitated as he shifted the reins to one hand and wiped his sweaty palm on his pants. As he considered her offer, Brian thought Dorothy was someone he could confide in. Their years of working together at the Gazette had forged a warm bond between the two, despite the age difference between them. And, he hadn't felt comfortable talking with anyone else. He had avoided sharing his feelings with Sarah and his mother because he didn't want to upset them. The one time he tried to approach his father, they ended up quarreling about a new business coming into town, causing Brian to forget the original reason he wanted to speak with him. On several occasions he tried to talk with Matthew, but his brother had been so busy lately, building his law practice, and in his relationship with Clara, that they never seemed to find the time.

"I want to get married and have a family someday. And I think I'd like to write a book, but I also want to travel and see new places. I want to see electric lamps, ride in a streetcar, and use a telephone." His voice rose with the excitement he was feeling as he thought about the forward march of progress.

"That's only natural at your age," Dorothy supplied.

"But I don't wanna lose Sarah," Brian said. "I wish…"

"What do you wish?"

"I wish I could just take some time to travel and see the world without having to give up what I have here," he replied.

"You don't have to give it up, but you might grow to find that you don't want the same things you thought you did before you left. Either way, you don't want to wait too long or you might live a life wondering what could have been; a life of memories laced with regret." She lifted her head and seemed to search the horizon for an escape from the words she would next admit. "Like me." Dorothy's voice grew faint and shaky with her confession. She stared blankly ahead, lost in her own memories, her heart lingering on her own regrets.

"You once told me you always dreamed of being a writer and an editor, and now you are. You've written a book that was published, and you're the editor of your own newspaper. You've accomplished so much. What do you regret?"

"Many things Brian. Many things." Dorothy stared out at the trees unsure about continuing. After a moment, she did. "I endured Marcus's beatings for far too long. I thought I was protecting my children, and instead I created a home that my children couldn't wait to leave. Not one of them has come back to see me, in all this time. Well, all except Tommy and you know how that turned out. They have their own lives and they don't look back. I regret that."

"What would you have done differently if you could?"

"I'd like to think that I would have packed up the children and left Marcus when the beatings first started, but truth be told I'm not sure whether that would have led to a better or worse life for me and my children." Dorothy could see Brian struggling with the reins as he became distracted by his thoughts, so she took hold of them. "The only thing I know for sure is you have to follow your heart and do what feels right at the time. Brian, I believe you know what you want to do, but you're trying to talk yourself out of it because you feel that's what others want you to do. Am I right?"

"I wouldn't exactly say I know what I want, but yeah, it's kinda like you say."

"Brian, you can't live your life to please other people. If you try, you'll end up bitter and filled with regret. You have to live the life that will make you happy. Look at your folks. They have always followed their own path. They'll understand whatever choice you feel you need to make. Talk to them. Let them help you figure out what you want to do."

"I'll think about it, but please don't say anythin' to them yet. Let me," Brian urged.

"Of course."

"Thank you, Dorothy."

"You're welcome." The two rode through the old growth forest in companionable silence until the rustle of the sleeping children in the back of the wagon made them aware of each other once again. The children had taken full advantage of the softer terrain to make up for the hours of sleep their father robbed from them early that morning. "Katie is so excited about seeing Cloud Dancing again. Even though Josef doesn't remember him, he's excited, too. You must be excited about seeing him again," Brian assumed.

Dorothy shifted uneasily in her seat. "Yes, it will be good to see him again."

"Do you think the two of you'll ever get married?"

At the word married, Dorothy nearly steered the wagon off the road. "Whoa. Sorry. No, Brian, we'll never get married."

"Why not? You love each other, don't you?"

"Yes. But…that was a long time ago. Now, our lives have gone in different directions and we're different people than we were back then."

"No, you're not. You're both still the same."

"Just like what you're trying to figure out with Sarah…Cloud Dancing and I found out we couldn't have what we both needed individually and still be together," she said in a sorrowful tone.

"Maybe someday things'll be different."

"I hope someday they will."

"It's hard to figure out what the right thing is for you and to also fit another person into that. Maybe what's right for you isn't right for the other person. Say I leave to travel, and Sarah doesn't want to wait. I might have to choose between doing something I really want to do and losing something else I really want. How do you decide?"

"You can only do what's right for you and trust that the other things will fall into place. I wanted Cloud Dancing to stay in Colorado Springs with me. I was content with our relationship as it was. Cloud Dancing wanted to return to the reservation to be with his people. I was very hurt and angry after he left, but I've come to know that he needed to do this to stay true to himself. It wasn't easy to accept and it's not going to be easy to see him again, but it was the only decision he could make. What happened between us wasn't all his fault. I wasn't prepared to give up The Gazette to join him on the reservation." Dorothy shifted the reins to one hand and placed her hand on Brian's shoulder. "It seems we both have issues we're struggling with on this trip. If you remember only one thing I tell you, remember this. If you follow your heart and stay true to yourself, you'll make the right decision, even if it means giving up something that means a great deal to you."

* * *

"Michaela, what can I do to help with supper?" Dorothy asked. She poured the water she had collected from the stream into the copper pot by the fire. A small pile of vegetables lay at Michaela's side and Dorothy watched her friend as she methodically peeled the carrots.

Michaela stilled the knife over one of the carrots and looked up. "I have everything under control." She lowered her head again to scrape the knife across the carrot in short determined strokes. "These carrots and potatoes are the last of the vegetables we brought from home. From now on, we'll have to keep an eye out for vegetables growing wild."

"On my way back from the stream, I saw some wild onions. I'll go pick some to add to what you got there," Dorothy offered.

"Thank you, Dorothy," Michaela said. "Sully and Brian should return any moment, and I have the rabbit already cooking over the fire."

Dorothy walked off toward the woods to collect the onions while Michaela finished cleaning the carrots. Just as she was about to reach for a potato she felt an arm around her waist and warm lips against her cheek. "Sully," she said with a gleam in her eye. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me, too," he replied.

"Papa!" Katie yelled in excitement at seeing him back from work. Sully crouched down to hug Katie, and then Josef, who stood next to his sister.

"Supper almost ready? I'm starved," he said, rising to his full height and reaching for a carrot.

Michaela grasped his hand before he touched the vegetable. "We need them all for supper. It won't be too long now. Did you and Brian have a good day?"

Sully leaned against the makeshift table that Michaela had set up to prepare supper. "The site they wanna build on has so many types o' trees, some hundreds o' years old, an' nestin' areas that'Il be destroyed if that lumber mill is allowed ta build there. Thing is, the land they're lookin' at is too steep for operatin' a mill. If I can suggest a different site, I might be able ta convince 'em ta move."

"Do you think they'll agree to build in a different location?"

"If I convince 'em the land they got their eye on is no good." He picked up a potato and began tossing it from one hand to the other. Sully was full of restless energy, his mind racing with ideas about how to protect the forest. Noticing his wife's outstretched hand that beckoned him to return the potato, his mouth turned up into a playful smirk.

"Sully, the potato please." Michaela stood facing him with her hand still outstretched.

Sully stepped a few paces away. "Come 'n get it."

She wrinkled her brow, convinced she misunderstood him. "Sully, really. Give me the potato. We only have two left."

He wiggled it slightly in front of him in a taunting fashion like you would wave a stick at a dog, daring her to take it from him. "We can still have it for supper. You just gotta get it from me."

Michaela wiped her brow with the back of her hand with a sigh. After the day's long ride, worrying about the diminishing food supply, and settling petty squabbles between the children, she was not in the mood for any high jinks. "Sully, I don't have time to play games."

"We're on vacation, Michaela. Nothin' wrong with havin' a little fun."

Michaela grew flustered. "Sully, you give me that potato or…or…we'll all be eating burnt supper."

A mocking chuckle left his throat. "Won't be the first time."

She flashed him a scornful look that, on the exterior, conveyed her dislike for the remark, though inside she could not deny the truth it held.

Katie and Josef hid their faces in their hands unable to hide their giggles as they watched their parents.

Under the watchful eye of her children, Michaela took a few tentative steps closer to her husband and reached for the tuber in his hand. At the precise moment her fingers reached it, Sully jumped back. When Michaela closed the distance between them, eyeing him levelly and mentally designing a strategy for getting the potato back, Sully tossed the potato to Katie.

"Think quick, Kates."

"Get it from me Mama." Katie was pleased to be part of their game.

"Katie, sweetheart, please hand Mama the potato." But Michaela watched in dismay as she tossed it back to her father.

Sully observed Michaela turn and walk toward him, a befuddled expression on her face. When she was within inches of her next attempt, he snickered then quickly handed it to Josef who begged for his turn to join in the game. For the next few minutes, it was looped among the three of them as Michaela ran from person to person trying to retrieve it, without success. The children ran around Sully and ducked under the wagon to keep the potato away from their mother. The giggles of her children and husband were contagious and she gradually joined in the amusement. Realizing the futility of running in circles, Michaela stopped to catch her breath and to devise a strategy for ending the game.

"What kind of example does this set for the children?" she asked Sully, with mock indignation.

With a huge grin on his face, Sully hid the potato behind his back. He loved it when he could wear down his wife's seriousness and bring out her playful side. It was easier to do when he could take her away from her practice and away from her responsibilities in Colorado Springs.

"We're teachin' 'em that there's a time for laughin' an' havin' fun," he replied.

"There _is_ a time for having fun. It's just not while supper is being prepared."

"Why not?"

"Sully," she pleaded. "Please give me the potato." She hoped to wear him down with a desperate tone of voice, but it didn't work.

Sully held it high over his head as she approached and reached for his hands. On her tiptoes, Michaela strained to get it, but couldn't. Sully continued to wave it out of reach. A reluctant smile crept across her face as she began to jump up for the potato. After several feeble attempts, both she and Sully were laughing so hard they could hardly breathe, while the children's fits of giggling left them barely able to stand.

Nearly out of breath, Michaela stepped back and put her hands on her hips in an attempt to be serious. "Sully, give me that potato now or I'll…I'll…"

"You'll what?" he said with a self-satisfied smile.

"Or she'll tickle you, Papa," Josef offered, knowing that he couldn't hold onto anything when his father tickled him.

"Why thank you, Josef. What an excellent idea." She turned to Sully with a mischievous grin.

"You wouldn't dare," he said.

"Why not," Michaela teased as she inched closer.

"You just wouldn't," he supplied with a confident facade.

"Oh, I wouldn't?" Her tone grew more serious at clearly being challenged. "I want that potato," Michaela said in a soft yet demanding voice.

Sully backed away slowly and held up his hand in gentle protest. "Michaela," he warned, reading her determined expression. His tough exterior was slowly crumbling as he tried to stifle the chuckles that rumbled from his throat. Sully stopped short when he found himself backed against the wagon, his only means of escape now blocked.

"What's going on?" Brian asked. He joined his siblings and Dorothy, who had just returned with the wild onions, and was wondering the same thing herself.

"Mama's gonna tickle Papa if he doesn't give her back that potato for supper!" Katie exclaimed.

"Yeah," Josef added. "Go on Mama! Get 'im."

Entertained by the children's enthusiasm, and rather quite interested in seeing if Michaela could actually get that potato back, Brian and Dorothy joined the children on the sidelines, laughing and encouraging Michaela in her little game, her cheering section now four strong.

Michaela's fingers crept up Sully's waist, gently at first, her touches so slight they hardly disturbed his sturdy facade. "Are you going to give me the rest of our supper or do I have to go further?"

Sully enjoyed his wife's attention, but a slight flutter of anxiety bubbled up inside him when he considered Michaela could completely embarrass him with their private secret, if she dared. Hard as it was, he tried to keep his composure a little longer. As her fingers intensified their movements in exactly the spots that were his greatest weakness, Sully twitched at her touch, but held his ground. He could have stilled her hands at any time, but was curious to see how far she would go. He expelled the breath he was holding, releasing at first, low rumbling chuckles that only deepened as he clenched his jaw shut in utter determination not to admit defeat with the laughter that built inside him. Feeling himself losing control, Sully closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to contain his laughter, trying to will himself to appear unaffected by the tickling. He could not. Michaela burrowed her fingers into his stomach causing him to double over. A roar came up from the bottom of his stomach until the whole of his midsection shook with laughter as he pleaded with her to stop. Finally, hoping to get relief and a chance to catch his breath, he tossed the potato to Katie. To his surprise, Michaela didn't let up.

"Stop," he pleaded, between fits of laughter. "Stop…I…don't…got…it."

"You started it, so you're the one who has to end it." Michaela, who was laughing now too, didn't let up on her tickling. Doubled over with convulsions of laughter, Sully fell forward onto his knees, bringing her down over him. Now they both were laughing, loud and deep cries of amusement that wouldn't stop. Sully grabbed hold of her hands and held them away, but still too exasperated to put up much of a fight, he allowed Michaela leeway to nudge him to the ground with her body and pin him down. Michaela couldn't remember having this much fun and, for the moment, all that mattered was making her husband pay for stealing the potato. She forgot all about the spectacle they were making in front of her children, Dorothy and Brian.

"Katie, give your ma the potato," Sully instructed.

"No." Katie shrieked with excitement as she tried, without success, to control her fit of giggles. It was rare she got to see her father at such a disadvantage.

"All right. I'll stop," Michaela said, lowering her head to kiss her husband. Such a kiss in front of the children surprised Sully, and he dropped his hold on her hands to draw her closer. With her hands free, she resumed the tickling.

"I was only kidding," she said with a teasing smile.

"Katie, please!" Sully yelled to his daughter.

"Don't do it, Katie," Brian supplied.

"Get 'im, Mama. Get 'im," Josef screamed.

"Looks like you're outnumbered, Sully," Dorothy added.

The children were giggling so hard they could hardly hear what Sully was saying. Even Brian and Dorothy couldn't contain their laughter.

"Katie!" Sully pleaded.

At his plaintive cry, Katie walked toward her parents and handed her mother the potato. Michaela stilled her hands to accept the offer. "Thank you, sweetheart," she lovingly added before turning back to Sully with a smirk of self-satisfaction. As she helped him back upright, he pulled her to him.

"I'll get you for this," Sully whispered in her ear.

Michaela smiled invitingly. "I'm counting on it."

"I didn't know Papa was ticklish. How'd you know?" Josef asked his mother.

"Oh, I have my ways," she replied, giving Sully a suggestive smile before retuning to her supper preparations, with Dorothy's assistance.

After catching his breath and brushing the dirt from his clothes, Sully moved toward Katie. In a deceptive gesture he swung her up into his arms for a kiss then began tickling her.

"Papa, stop," Katie begged.

"I'm gettin' ya back."

"Mama, help," she cried again.

"I'm sorry sweetheart you're on your own. I have to see if I can salvage our supper."

"Get 'er, Papa!" Josef cheered, not wanting the fun to end.

"But it's your turn now, Joe!" Brian called as he caught his little brother and tickled his ribs until he squealed.

* * *

Josef was alone. His father and Brian were at work, his mother and Dorothy were occupied with chores around the campsite, and Katie was reading under a tree. Several hours ago, he had grudgingly coaxed her into playing hide-and-seek, but she soon grew tired of the game, insisting that Josef go play by himself and leave her alone. Frustrated at having no one to play with, and bored with being so far from home with nothing to do, he walked to the edge of a deer path along the perimeter of the campsite looking for amusement. He knelt down to pick up a stick that was lying on the ground and entertained himself by drawing pictures of animals in the dirt. He drew a wolf, an elk, and a hawk. All were likenesses from the collection of carved figurines his father had made him. Whenever he had ventured too far away, his mother reminded him to stay where she could see him. For the most part he obliged, but then he saw it.

Through bush and underbrush, and amidst the heavy hanging branches that shielded the woods from the day's heat, a magnificent old oak tree lay across the forest floor with what remained of its limbs sticking out on all sides. From the black crumbled bark, the bird droppings staining its trunk, and the variety of wild mushrooms that had taken hold, it was clear the tree had been down a long time. Whether it was disease or lightening that had befallen this giant of the forest, he wasn't sure, but at the sight of it, the wheels in his head began to turn, transforming the tree into a playground of adventure.

Josef ran into the dense forest to explore the oak tree that, in his eyes, looked ripe with possibilities for excitement, on a day that began with no such promise. On his heels, Wolf trailed close behind.

Lost in his little boy world of wonder and imagination, Josef made the tree his own, entertaining himself with the bounty of nature. He climbed onto the trunk that, even lying on its side, had a width that challenged his height. He walked back and forth across its length with his arms outstretched in a balancing act pretending he was stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean. He raised his hands in the air, busily at work on the sails and ropes that appeared visibly before him on this sea-stranded vessel. Like the fearless treasure-boat captain of his bedtime stories, Josef manned the bow and directed his pirating crew through the raging fury of an ocean tempest that threatened to swallow them alive. "Ahoy," he called out to his first mate. "Wolf, clear the deck and batten down the cargo! We can't afford to lose one cent of that gold in this storm."

Once safely ashore, Josef's pirate ship was transformed into the jungle branches of a tropical forest in Africa. He was a gorilla, the king of the forest, and all the smaller animals of the jungle cowered in his presence. In a show of agility, he swung from the limbs of the tree and brought his legs up to hang upside down. With his feet firmly planted on the trunk, he beat his chest with cupped hands and emitted a loud roar to warn those who might challenge him.

Eventually drained of energy, he climbed down from his perch above the ground and peered into the mouth of the trunk. Years of decay had rotted out its center creating a hollow opening just wide enough for him to fit. It reminded him of the tunnels in the caves near home that he had explored with Brian. After hearing one of his father's stories, Josef remembered begging his brother to show him the caves. Secretly Brian had taken him exploring in the tunnels and made him promise not to tell anyone about it. Josef kept that promise. He didn't tell a soul, not even Katie.

"There's gold buried at the other end of the tunnel," Josef said as his imagination took hold. "Looks like I'm the only one small enough to get it, but I gotta work fast 'cause them bank robbers who we been trackin' ta here are gonna come back for it soon." The beetles and spiders that had taken up residence in the tree scrambled for cover while Josef enlisted them to help him defend the cave from the robbers. He was the sheriff and the insects his trusted posse. His deputy Wolf stood guard at the base of the fallen log. Josef crawled into the hollow of the tree with one hand clutching tight to a stick, a makeshift gun and his only weapon against the armed band of outlaws. Creamy coffee colored toadstools dotted the opening with their caps unfolded like tiny umbrellas. Black crumbling bark fell on his head and he was encased within the dark warmth that carried the scent of sweet aged wood.

"Get back, you can't have the gold. I'm gonna find it and take it back to the bank, or my name ain't Sheriff Josef Sully!" the little boy declared to himself before calling back a command to his loyal sidekick. "Deputy Wolf, keep a look out for them robbers!" After years of decay, tiny holes had rotted straight through the trunk allowing sunlight to seep into the darkness of the hollow lighting a path further into the heart of the old tree. On his hands and knees, he followed the sun's rays deeper into the trunk, unconscious of his hand moving near his face to swat at a cloud of gnats. He emerged moments later from the trunk clutching several rocks in his hand as if they were precious stones. Flecks of soft wood and crumpled leaves clung to his hair, freckling his face.

"I found the gold," he told the birds and the squirrels in the nearby trees as he shook off the debris that besmirched his appearance. "Now we gotta track the robbers and bring 'em to the nearest town to be locked up," he told Wolf. Josef circled the log's massive perimeter, behind its broad branches and broken limbs, in search of any sign of the criminals' escape route. He wandered a few steps into the forest depths before catching site of the bandits' tracks. They were so freshly imprinted in the soft leaf-bed of the forest floor that even in his imagination they seemed too real to be true.

The little boy almost tripped as Wolf ran in front of him barking and nudging him back to the tree. Josef enjoyed when Wolf played along. "The cave is safe for now. We gotta go find the robbers and bring 'em in before they get away. C'mon, Wolf, this way!"

Wolf tilted his head, as if puzzled, and studied the boy as he scurried off in hot pursuit.

Distracted by his world of make believe, Josef skipped along deeper into the woods, happy and carefree. He stopped short at the sight of fresh animal tracks. "Look, we got 'em," he told Wolf in amazement. Now Josef was overcome with excitement. By following real tracks, he could practice all the things his father had taught him about surviving in the woods – identifying animal tracks, using impressions in the dirt and broken branches to track, finding food, and how to find your way so you don't get lost. At seven, Josef was adventurous and confident in his abilities.

"C'mon," Josef called to Wolf who began to lag behind.

With a whimper, Wolf followed along. Though he was older and enjoyed a less active life now, Wolf took his job as protector of the Sully family seriously. Josef walked with Wolf by his side disappearing into the dense woods, following the tracks of an unknown animal.

Josef followed the tracks uphill into an old-growth forest. The spring rains had left a thick coating of moss near the base of the trees. In an imitation of his father, Josef ran his hands up and down the bark of a tree looking for claw marks. His interest in the robbers waned, as his curiosity about the identity of the animal, whose tracks he followed, grew more intense. His father had told him that bears were known to leave claw marks on trees and even bite the bark sometimes. "No claw marks here, Wolf. I guess this can't be no bear we're chasin' 'cause Papa says they leave big marks from scratching on the trees and rub off bark leaving their scent." He thought of how proud his father would be when he told him of the tracks and the identity of the animal when he found it.

As Josef crept up to examine another tree for claw marks, Wolf ran in front of him with a howl. _Finally_, _Wolf was joining in the game._ When Wolf grabbed his sleeve in his mouth and tried to pull him back, the little boy fell to the ground in a fit of giggles. "I guess you're right, Wolf," he laughed. "I can see the tracks a lot better when I'm on the ground. Well, it isn't a bear. What do you think it is, Wolf?" A mountain lion? A fox? A wild dog?" The tracks turned downhill and Josef slid a little down the steep slope. "Whoa," he yelled. Wolf walked off to the right where the incline wasn't as steep and made his way down the path until he felt flat ground. Their paths diverged as Josef cut a path through overgrown foliage. Wolf trailed close behind along a clearer path, always keeping Josef in his sight.

Not far from the steep slope, the path opened into a clearing. Wolf stopped short, his ears erect and alert. Josef continued with his pursuit until he caught sight of two tan balls of fur wrestling on the ground. They were two baby cougars with dark, chocolate brown spots that dotted their backs, and beige ringed tails bouncing in the air. They rolled over each other with their bodies going around and around like the spokes of a bicycle. Josef was awed by the sight, but he remembered his father's warnings. He could look, but he couldn't touch the animals in the wild. With a big smile on his face, Josef stood only a few feet from the baby cougars and laughed as they played.

Josef's bursts of laughter at the antics of the baby cougars drowned out the deep growls that rumbled from the belly of Wolf's poised and rigid body. He let out a loud and urgent bark, instantly quelling the child's amusement and alerting him to the two large, yellow eyes perched in the shadowy underbrush of the ridge some fifteen feet above them. Josef froze, and with a piercing screech, the mother cat reared back to take charge, and lunged towards the frightened boy.

_To Be Continued_

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* * *

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Thanks so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company._

**No Greater Burden **

**Chapter Four **

Katie's book landed in a heap when Josef, who, in a frenzy, was looking the wrong way, tripped on a tree root and landed right on top of his sister.

"Joey!" Katie said, annoyed at being disturbed. She pushed her brother off her, sat up and rearranged her dress, which became rumpled in the collision. "Ugh, look what you did!" Reaching over to pick up her book, she shook the dirt from its binding and smoothed the pages that were bent and wrinkled from the turbulent landing.

"Sorry," Josef said, gasping for breath.

"Where were you?" She noticed the bark and crumpled leaves all over his hair and clothes. "And why are you so dirty?"

Josef stood up, still struggling to catch his breath. "I was…I was p-playin' in a…tree and…and…." He stopped for a moment to swallow and push his sweat soaked hair away from his face. "I was just playin' and…and out of nowhere a…a big cat came right at me! It would've got me, Katie, if Wolf didn't chase it away!"

"Really?" Katie widened her eyes in amazement.

"Yeah! I had to run all the way back so it wouldn't get me."

"No, Joey. You're fibbin' and I'm gonna tell Mama."

"No, I'm not! I really saw it."

"Oh yeah? Then what did it look like?"

"It had big yellow eyes and the longest body I ever seen." Josef stretched his arms out as far as they would go to show Katie the size of the cat. "And…and…it growled and made a really loud noise, like it was screaming. Then, it flew down from the rocks at me," Josef said, still winded from running out of the woods. Towering over his sister, he threw his arms in the air to imitate the leaping cat.

Katie wrinkled her brow, her disbelief in Josef's tale resurfacing. "Cats can't fly Joey," she said matter-of-factly.

"This one did," he insisted.

"Where's Wolf now?" Katie asked. Her eyes searched from one end of the campsite to the other.

"He'll be back soon," Josef assured, finally beginning to breathe at a normal rate. "He's makin' sure the cat won't come back here and get us."

Katie jumped up and brushed the dirt from her dress. "Let's go tell Mama about the cat. Maybe she knows what it is." Before waiting for his response, she dashed off in the direction of her mother.

"No, Katie! Wait!" Josef called, chasing after her.

"Mama," Katie called out. "Joey saw a really big cat in the woods!"

Michaela turned around at the sound of her children's racing footsteps behind her. "There you are. Now that you're through playing by the woods I could use your help with supper."

"Joey saw a really big cat and Wolf chased it away," Katie repeated.

Michaela turned to her son who filed in behind his sister. "You did? What kind of cat?"

Josef's uncomfortable silence prompted Katie to continue with the story. "It was really big with yellow eyes, sort of like a monster. Right, Joey?"

"Uh…well sort of," Josef said.

"A monster was it?" his mother replied, amused at her children's imaginative tale.

"Why don't you tell us all about this monster," Dorothy said with a wry grin.

"He saw it coming right at him and Wolf, Mama. And it was gonna eat them if Joey didn't out run it! But, then Wolf chased it away. Right, Joey?"

Josef didn't answer. He looked to his sister then his mother and finally Dorothy before quickly dropping his eyes to stare at his feet.

"It was gonna eat you, wasn't it?" Katie persisted. "Tell her, Joey."

"Eat you? My, that must have been quite a large cat." Michaela played along.

Josef stood frozen in guilt, unable to look his mother in the eye. He knew he wasn't supposed to have wandered off. She had told him to go no further than the fallen log. If his mother knew he followed the animal tracks into the woods, he'd be in trouble. Worse, she'd tell his father and he'd be punished for going off alone. And the last thing he wanted was to have his play privileges taken away on this trip. "I was playin' with Wolf by the path into the woods," he began with his eyes wandering everywhere, except his mother's face, "And a big cat came at us. It was gonna come into the campsite if Wolf didn't chase it away," he finished, his voice quivering.

Michaela heard the fear in Josef's voice and felt an uneasy feeling form in the pit of her stomach. "The cat approached the campsite?"

"Uh, yeah. Wolf chased it away."

Michaela didn't know whether to believe him or not. While the children were playing, she had been busy with the laundry. Still, she knew where they were. Katie had been reading under a cottonwood tree and Josef had been playing near the deer path into the woods. At one point she lost sight of her son, but she found him moments later playing on an old fallen log. Only a half hour ago she reminded him not to venture any further than the tree. _During that time, had she gotten so caught up with the chores that a wild cat could have come near the camp, close to the children?_ It was possible she missed seeing a cat wander toward the campsite, but she didn't understand how she missed Wolf running off. Surely he would have growled and barked in alarm before giving chase. She asked herself _why a cat would approach the camp._ They were solitary creatures that shied away from human contact.

"Josef, did you walk any further than that fallen log I found you playing on?" Michaela asked.

Josef couldn't meet his mother's eyes. "Uh…no."

"Where is Wolf now?" she asked the children.

"He's not back yet," Katie replied. She once again looked in the direction Josef had been playing.

Just then a faint screech echoed in the distance, followed by a yelp, then silence.

"Michaela, is that what I think it was?" Dorothy asked.

Michaela knelt to meet her son eye to eye, the situation turning deadly serious at this point. She gently placed her hands on his shoulders. "Josef, please be honest with me. Did you really see the cat or are you pretending?"

"I uh…I really saw it and Wolf went after it," the little boy replied, his heart tightening as he looked into his mother's worried eyes.

"Michaela, why would a cat come near the campsite?" Dorothy asked.

Fear gripped Michaela's heart. "The only reason I can think of is if it's rabid or sick," she replied, as memories flooded into her mind of her encounter with the rabid bear, the mountain lion she and Sam faced at Pike's Peak, and Ingrid's death from Pup's bite.

"Mama, that wasn't Wolf was it? What if he's hurt?" Katie asked, concerned.

_What if he's hurt_, Josef wondered. Until this point, that thought hadn't truly crossed his mind. _Could the family pet he'd seen numerous times warning off strangers and barn animals twice his size, really be in trouble?_ Josef grew concerned and anxious about Wolf. "You gotta go after him, Mama!" he pleaded. He was worried that Wolf still wasn't back and alarmed by the sounds coming from the woods. They were the same sounds he'd heard behind him as he ran back to the campsite. Together, guilt and fear welled up within the little boy. If Wolf was hurt, Josef knew it was his fault.

"Josef, I'm certain Wolf is all right," his mother reassured.

"Michaela, let's wait for Sully. He'll know what to do," Dorothy said sensibly.

"You're right." She turned toward her son. "When your father comes back he can go look for Wolf. I think it's best if we remain here."

"No! What if Wolf's hurt? You gotta help him," Josef pleaded. At that instant he did what he had seen his mother do hundreds of times. He grabbed her medical bag and rushed off in the direction of the woods. "Come on," he called back to his mother. In his fear and excitement Josef became confused, and he couldn't remember the exact spot where he'd entered the woods and found the fallen tree. As he searched frantically for the log, his mother caught up to him.

"Josef, come back here," Michaela called to him.

The little boy froze, trying to get his bearings. He searched the forest around him. Then he pointed off into the distance to the fallen log that had been his field of play that afternoon. "Over there!" he exclaimed, taking his mother's hand and earnestly pulling her behind him. The sight of his tracks in the dirt made him nervous, so he quickly pointed in the opposite direction. "Wolf chased it that way."

Just then another loud yelp and a screech echoed through the campsite causing Michaela's heart to turn over. With adrenaline pumping through her veins, she lifted her son into her arms and raced back to the campsite while he adamantly protested the whole way.

"We gotta go help Wolf," the little boy cried into his mother's hair, wiggling to free himself from her tight hold.

Michaela lowered Josef to the ground and hugged him. "You stay here with Dorothy and I'll go find Wolf."

Josef grew silent. Katie walked over to her brother and looked up at her mother. "Help him Mama, promise?"

"I'll find him sweethearts. Don't worry." Michaela hurried to the wagon to retrieve the rifle Sully had placed there before the trip. When her fingers touched the cold exterior of the gun, she hesitated, staring at it for several long moments wondering if she would be able to use it if she had to. Normally, she abhorred guns, but they had brought it along for just this type of situation. If the animal were rabid, she would have to shoot it. Since she didn't know what she might find in the woods, the prudent course of action was to bring the rifle along. It might be necessary to use it to protect herself, and her children. Tucking the weapon under her arm, she turned to face Dorothy. "Please watch the children for me."

"Michaela, you shouldn't go out there alone. We don't know what animal Josef saw. You should wait for Sully."

"If Wolf really is hurt," she paused, lowering her voice for the children's sake…"if he's hurt, and if that animal is dangerous, then there isn't time to wait for Sully."

"Don't go, Mama," Katie pleaded, frightened.

Michaela knelt down in front of her children who cowered by the campfire. "You both stay here and promise me you'll listen to Dorothy. I'll walk into the woods a little ways to see if I can find Wolf." Michaela turned and headed back towards the woods, raising her hand in acknowledgement of Dorothy's cry to be careful just before she disappeared into the thick forest.

Making her way to the fallen log that had entertained her son all afternoon she spotted his tracks heading off in several directions. His footprints, scattered and playful, circled around the various massive limbs of the tree, its trunk, and the surrounding foliage. Confused as to where to begin, she looked closer until she noticed Wolf's noticeable trail heading off toward the right. She walked deeper into the woods following Wolf's tracks.

The sounds of the birds, squirrels, and other animals of the forest replaced the yelps and screeches that died down in the wake of her search. As Michaela trekked a short distance past the log through the thick, overgrown forest, she gasped.

"Oh, no!" she cried out. "Wolf, please no!"

* * *

"I'm starved. I hope Ma's got supper ready," Brian told Sully as he guided his horse toward the campsite after a full day of scouting out alternate land for the lumber mill.

"Yeah, it's been a long day," Sully said, as he rode along side him at a leisurely pace, enjoying the scenery on the trail. "At the next town we pass, I'm gonna wire the government ta see if they can convince the lumber mill ta buy the other land we found an' protect the forests they planned ta build on." His voice held a modicum of pride at having found a viable strategy for protecting the forest and the nesting areas of over a dozen different species of birds. At the same time, he knew the taste of victory would be bittersweet, for to save one area, it meant condemning another area to destruction, and certain death for other populations of animals and birds.

"Do you think they'll agree to move sites?" Brian asked.

"They should, 'specially when I tell 'em the land they chose is too steep for lumberin'."

"Then this trip was a success, huh?"

"I suppose it depends on how ya define success," Sully replied, his tone subdued. Taking note of Brian's confused expression, he continued. "It's hard havin' ta choose which land ta develop and which land ta protect. I wish we could leave it _all_ alone. There's trees that'll be destroyed no matter what land they choose and species of birds that'll have ta find new places ta nest. Somethin's gonna die no matter what we do."

"But it seems we found a good compromise," Brian said, unwilling to accept Sully's pessimism. "More people are coming out west. The towns are growing and, who knows, someday we might have cities the size of Boston right here in Colorado. None of this could happen without lumber and without jobs. The way I see it, your solution gets the best of both. We can protect the oldest and most varied trees and people still get the lumber they need to build towns and cities."

"I wish so many folks weren't movin' out here," Sully said softly.

"Why is it all right for us to live out here, but no one else?" Brian challenged.

"That ain't what I'm sayin'," he replied, surprised at Brian's confrontational tone. "All I'm sayin' is it's gettin' crowded an' it's changin' our way o' life. Before too long, all the reasons I came out west are gonna disappear."

"I thought you came out west to mine silver. Even you, once destroyed the land," Brian pointed out.

"That was before."

"I know, but you can't stop change and progress Sully. I read it's like a drumbeat to which we all must march."

"The only thing people are marchin' to is greed," Sully retorted. "There's no honor in followin' the herd. A man's gotta find his own drumbeat. Then he's gotta have the courage to march to it when everythin' around him is goin' the other way."

"Not all progress is rooted in greed, Sully. Some of it is going to change our way of life for the better. Who knows, even _you_ might find some use for electricity," he said with a light laugh. "And as for the land, how do you know other people won't come out here and see the beauty of the land like you did and try to protect it?"

"That ain't likely," Sully muttered.

"Why not? If a silver miner changed, why not other people?"

Sully tensed, but he chose not to respond. Brian knew the reasons he had changed. He knew it was from living with the Cheyenne. Sully wondered why he was goading him this way, when it was clear that most people weren't going to take the time to learn from the Indians, if there were any left to instruct them. Lately, nearly every conversation with Brian had turned into a challenge of his way of life.

This turn of events confused him, because until recently Sully believed Brian thought as he did about almost everything. In most respects they were still as close as a father and son could be, but something was bothering Brian and Sully didn't know what it was. He knew Brian was growing up, trying to become his own person, but lately that meant Sully had to endure increased scrutiny of his life and his choices. It was as if his life had been placed under a microscope and it was being picked apart like birds pecking at the flesh of dead animals.

For the most part, he had left Brian alone to find his own way, but that was becoming harder as the questions and debates grew more frequent. He felt like Brian was condemning his choices and his life. The constant feeling of disapproval emanating from his son was beginning to wear him down. Relief washed over him as they approached the perimeter of camp putting an end to a debate Sully was certain he couldn't win, at least not now.

* * *

Katie looked up at the sound of horses and noticed her father and Brian riding into the campsite. "Papa's back," Katie said. She jumped to her feet from her place at Dorothy's side, certain that now everything would be all right. A subdued Josef trailed on her heels.

"Hey, where's Ma?" Brian asked, not seeing Michaela at the campsite.

"I dunno," Sully replied. The horses came to a stop and the two riders began to dismount. "She's probably off gettin' some fixin's for supper."

As Sully tethered the horses, he could hear his children's approaching footsteps behind him. Their excited faces at the end of a hard day always brought him joy. But, as he turned to face them, he noticed something different in their stride, and as they grew closer and their features became clearer, their distressed expressions set off alarm bells inside him. By the quiver in her lower lip, he could tell Katie was frightened, yet relieved to see him. Josef's steps were sullen and slow, and his tear-streaked face startled Sully. Dorothy followed behind the children, appearing distressed herself.

"Oh, Sully. Brian. Thank goodness you're back," Dorothy exclaimed.

"What happened? Where's Michaela?" Sully asked Dorothy with concern.

Katie threw her arms around her father. "A big cat came after Joey and Wolf."

"A cat? What kind of cat?" Sully asked, gently stroking the back of her head to calm her as Brian stooped to intercept an approaching Josef.

"We was just playin', but Wolf didn't come back," Josef added, as he hugged his brother.

"You better start from the beginning. What cat?" Brian asked.

"Mama went to find Wolf," Katie said. The children were too distressed to offer more than stuttering bits and pieces of information.

Though Sully couldn't follow their story, he knew they were upset. He still didn't understand why Michaela had gone after Wolf. "Where did Wolf go?"

"A big cat got him," Josef added.

Still confused, he looked toward Dorothy for some kind of explanation.

Dorothy stepped closer to Sully and the children, prepared to fill in the gaps. "Josef said a cat of some sort approached the campsite and Wolf chased him away. Then we heard the sounds – roars and yelps – like animals fighting. Michaela went to see what happened."

"Don't worry, sweet girl. Wolf can take care of himself," Sully reassured, as he stroked the back of Katie's head. Then he met Dorothy's eyes with concern. If there were a wild cat out there, he would have preferred Michaela had not gone looking for it. "Which way did she go?"

Dorothy pointed in the direction Michaela took off into the woods. "She took the rifle with her," she added in a whisper, warning Sully of the possible danger.

"I'll get your bow and arrow, Pa," Brian offered.

"Thanks," Sully said, hurrying toward his horse. He untied it, and mounted in one swift, smooth movement. Before lifting the reins, he turned to the children. "I need you ta stay here and listen ta Dorothy and Brian, while I go find your ma. Everythin's gonna be all right," Sully reassured.

"Is Wolf gonna be okay?" Josef asked in a tiny voice.

"He'll be fine. Don't worry."

"Promise," Katie pleaded.

"I promise. Now, I gotta go."

As Sully nudged his horse forward, Dorothy gasped. "Look!" Everyone turned in the direction Dorothy yelled, their eyes searching the edge of the woods as Michaela emerged with Wolf in her arms. They could see her legs shaking under the weight of the heavy animal as she trekked out of the forest, her hair flying around her like a windswept scarf, and her clothes splattered with blood. Whether from a rush of adrenaline or sheer force of will, she drew on an inner strength she didn't know she had to carry Wolf back to his family.

At the sight of Wolf's limp body, his gray fur matted with blood, Sully froze. It was as if someone had knocked the wind out of him, and he struggled to remain atop the horse, his body rigid and his mind a riot of warring thoughts. As he took in his wife's physical state, an uneasy feeling rose up inside him.

"Stay here 'til I can see what's goin' on," Sully said, the seriousness of the situation becoming evident. He motioned for Brian to stay with the children. Then he dismounted and rushed toward Michaela.

Michaela, weak from carrying Wolf through the woods and suffering from the toll it had taken on her emotions, wavered as she staggered to meet Sully. Tears streaked her cheeks as she struggled to control her steps, her petite frame shaking from the exertion. At the first sight of Sully, her body swayed and suddenly her legs gave way under her. Holding tight to her precious bundle, she dropped to her knees. In an instant, Sully was by her side, easing her to the ground, and together they laid Wolf on the soft dirt.

"Michaela?"

She pushed the sweat soaked hair away from her face and looked at her husband with tears streaming down her cheeks, almost speechless. "I'm…I'm so sorry, Sully."

Shock flashed across his face. He stroked the animal's head and ran his hands over him to assess the wounds, not registering Michaela's words. In a moment of stunned disbelief, it was as if everything around him stood still. He couldn't comprehend what he was seeing or what she was saying.

"I tried…I tried to save him…" Her voice trailed off.

"How'd this…what happened?" Sully cradled Wolf's head in his lap and continued to stroke his head and scratch behind his ears, desperate to understand something other than the truth.

"I don't know. He was bleeding profusely when I found him. I couldn't stop the bleeding. There was nothing I could do."

Despite Dorothy and Brian's attempts to hold the children back, Josef wiggled and broke free from Dorothy's grasp to run toward his parents.

"Wolf!" the little boy cried. "Wolf!" Josef reached his parents and dropped to his knees. He threw his arms around the animal's body trying to help him up, but he was too heavy. "Do something, Mama. You gotta help him." He spoke into Wolf's ear. "Don't worry, boy, Mama'll fix you."

"There's nothing more I can do sweetheart," Michaela gently explained.

"What do you mean? He's bleedin'! You gotta wrap him up and stop it! You have to save him."

Michaela pulled Josef into her arms and hugged him tight, her heart breaking at the sight of her son so distraught. She looked to her husband for help in explaining this situation to her son, but realized Sully was lost in his own thoughts, searching for his own explanation. "There was nothing I could do sweetheart. I can't help Wolf now."

He squirmed in her arms as though to escape. "But, you're a doctor."

"Wolf's injuries were too severe."

Josef broke away from his mother's embrace, and he threw his arms around the animal. "Wolf…please…get up! Wolf..no!" Josef choked out his pleas as Katie, Brian, and Dorothy solemnly joined the group.

"Papa, is Wolf gonna be okay?" Katie asked.

"No," Sully breathed, finally able to gather his thoughts, finally able to realize the heartache before him.

Michaela wiped the tears from her face with the back of her wrist and reached out with her other hand to bring Josef once again into her arms. Katie hugged her father and Dorothy reached for Brian's hand.

Brian was waging a battle with his own emotions. Ill with grief, he took several deep breaths, determined to remain strong and in control for the sake of his siblings. As he watched the scene before him, he almost expected Wolf to leap to his feet and lick Josef's face. But he didn't move. Slowly and in silence, Brian let go of Dorothy's hand and approached the animal. He had grown up with Wolf and couldn't imagine him no longer with them.

"Go get your bag. Please. Give him some leaves or medicine. Please fix him Mama," Josef said, weeping into his mother's shoulder. "You can sew him up like you did me, lots of times, remember. Please."

Brian knelt down to help calm his little brother. "None of that is gonna work, Joe. It's too late. Wolf. He's…he's…"

"He's dead," Sully uttered. The blunt honesty of his words left them all mute with grief.

_To Be Continued_


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company. _

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Five**

After the shock abated, activity in the campsite returned to some semblance of normalcy. Everyone kept busy with chores, though, in their grief, they moved a little slower, taking longer to do even the simplest tasks. Everyone that is, except Sully, who had gone off to track the cat.

When no one was looking, Josef crept back to sit beside Wolf, whose body had been placed on the left side of the campsite, far away from the center of activity. Tears fell in rivulets down the little boy's cheeks as he stroked the bloodstained fur of his beloved companion. In low, soothing tones he spoke to him. "I'm sorry, Wolf," he whispered into the animal's ear. "I didn't know." Sobs wracked his body as he lowered his head and rested it on the animal's chest.

As Sully emerged from the woods, the sight of his son hovering over Wolf's body rattled him, causing him to stop in his tracks and attempt to regain his own composure. He drew a long, uneven breath, as if trying to draw strength from some hidden reserve, before returning to the campsite.

The pain emanating from his son seared through him like a red-hot poker. He knew Josef was a sensitive child, with a strong attachment to Wolf, but something about this incident bothered him in a way he hadn't completely sorted out. Unable to take his eyes off his hurting child and distracted by his own sorrow and grief, Sully was uncharacteristically inattentive to his surroundings. He didn't see the low hanging branch until he walked straight into it, rearing back from the impact. The pain from the blow was dulled by the numbness he felt over the loss of his longtime friend and companion. Wiping the blood that trickled down his forehead with the back of his hand, he continued toward his son.

From across the campsite, Michaela was on her way to her son's side when she noticed Sully exit the woods and head in Josef's direction. Startled by his pain-darkened eyes, she intercepted him. "Did you find anything?" she asked, eager to learn if he had been able to track the animal.

He turned in the direction of her voice, stepped closer, and placed his arm around her shoulder to lead her a few paces away from the others. "It was a cougar," he whispered, then swallowed hard before continuing. "I followed Wolf's tracks to a cougar's den. I saw cubs, but no sign o' the mother. From the amount of blood on the ground it looked like the fight happened right outside the den."

She reached up to touch the red scrape on his forehead. "Do you think the mother is rabid?"

"No. I think she was just protectin' her cubs. She was probably hurt in the fight, too. I didn't stay long 'cause if she saw me near her cubs, she would've done the same ta me as she did ta Wolf." Sully sighed in frustration and glanced in the direction of his son, still clinging to Wolf. "What I don't got figured out is what Wolf was doin' there. Wolf wouldn't have gone chasin' after that cougar for no reason, Michaela. And Joe knows better than ta go runnin' off in the woods alone, or ta get near an animal like that cat. I just don't understand what he was doin' out there. Did Josef say anythin' else?"

"He didn't go running off into the woods alone, Sully. He went no further than that fallen log I showed you right near the clearing. He could still see the campsite from there when the _cougar_ came at _him_. That's why Wolf went after it. He chased it away to protect Josef and the rest of us here at the camp."

"And that makes sense to you?" Sully asked.

Michaela registered his accusing tone. "No, not if the mother isn't rabid or ill. But, Josef doesn't lie, Sully. Why would he tell us a story about something this serious?"

"I don't know," he said. I just don't understand how…why…."

Sully's thoughts trailed off in his frustration at being unable to come up with a logical reason for Wolf's death. He thought he saw footprints in the dirt near the den other than Wolf's, leading him to believe that Josef was there as well, but he wasn't sure. He didn't see those other tracks on the way _to_ the den. If the other tracks belonged to Josef, he wondered how he got there and why didn't he see his tracks alongside Wolf's? And why didn't Josef say anything? _If he was there, what would the two of them be doin' outside a cougar den?_ He couldn't dismiss the possibility that Josef was with Wolf when the cougar attacked, but he couldn't be sure either. Until he knew, he would let those thoughts work around in his mind a bit more before revealing them to Michaela.

From his prolonged silence and the remoteness in his eyes, Michaela sensed Sully retreating from her. She longed to draw him back from the far, dark place he had gone so she gently touched his forearm as a gesture of comfort and support. "Sully, are you all right?"

At the sound of her voice, Sully realized he had drifted away from their conversation. He met her worried gaze. "Yeah, I'm just tryin' ta work out what happened. Did you have your eye on Joe the whole time I was workin'?"

"I knew where he was playing the entire time, yes," she replied, taken aback by the insinuation that she had not been paying attention to the children. "I told him to stay between the fallen log and the campsite and he did."

Sully was reasonably certain he saw Josef's tracks by the cougar den. At the same time, his son had never wandered off before, or lied to them. With his whole heart he wanted to find some other explanation for what he saw, anything other than the possibility that Josef wasn't telling the truth. He knew he wasn't thinking clearly when he followed Wolf's tracks. He wondered if he could have missed something important. "Well, somethin' don't make sense. I'm gonna talk ta Joe."

"Sully." Michaela called him back, grasping his hand.

"Yeah." He stopped in his steps and turned to face her.

"We need to bury Wolf."

Sully glanced at Wolf then back at Michaela. "We'll leave him where he fell."

Michaela hesitated as she tightened her grip on his hand. "Sully, if it were only you and I, I'd agree. We could leave him there as the Cheyenne would have, but we need to consider the children. Wolf needs to be buried for them."

"I'll explain it to 'em. They'll understand." Sully left Michaela standing alone as he walked toward Josef. When he reached his son's side, he knelt down and placed his hand on his back. "I know it hurts son. Wolf was a good friend to us."

Josef raised his head to his father. "I don't want him to be dead," he choked out.

Sully felt tears sting his eyes. "Me neither, but sometimes bad things happen. We can't stop 'em from happenin', as much as we wish we could," he said, knowing the truth of those words from his own painful past. He pulled Josef into his arms and held him, leaning forward and back. After a few moments, his eyes sought out Katie, who was being comforted by Brian under a nearby tree. "Katie, Brian, come here. I wanna talk to ya." Brian took hold of his sister's hand and they walked to Wolf's side. "I'm gonna take Wolf's body over to the ridge and we're gonna leave 'em there so he can give back to the earth. That's the way we're gonna honor Wolf's life. Do ya understand?"

"Aren't we gonna bury him?" Katie asked, bringing her hand across her face to wipe away her tears.

"No. The Cheyenne believe that those who die in battle should be left where they fell so they can give back to the earth. It's the same with animals. The tribe takes what they need and they leave the rest for the birds and other animals to give them life."

Brian understood what Sully was trying to say, but he also knew his siblings wouldn't react well to this idea. In a gesture of reassurance, he drew Katie into his arms to listen to Sully's explanation.

"How?" Katie asked, leaning into Brain.

"Well…" he paused, trying to come up with a way to explain Cheyenne beliefs in a manner they would understand. "He'll provide food for the coyotes, eagles, and other animals and they'll scatter his body over the earth. That way Wolf's death will give life to others."

"No!" Josef screamed, pulling away from his father.

"You'd let animals eat Wolf?" Katie was stunned by what she was hearing.

"It's how we'll honor Wolf." Sully realized this would be more of a struggle than he thought.

"No!" Katie said. "Wolf's a part of our family. Would you leave me or Joey to be eaten by animals?"

Her shocked expression combined with the pain in her voice stunned Sully. Next to him, Josef clung to him hard, so hard that the sobbing convulsions of the small child's body shook his father to the core. This wasn't going well and Sully began to realize that Wolf did indeed need to be buried for the sake of the children.

Sully held Josef tight to his chest. With his other arm, he brought Katie into his embrace. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You're right. Wolf needs ta be buried. Brian, will ya help me dig a hole?"

* * *

The majesty of the Rocky Mountains towered in the distance; their peaceful and imposing presence gave comfort, appearing to offer a promise of protection. A full complement of nature's bounty flourished in the sun-kissed, fertile soil. At the bottom of the ridge stood hundreds of deciduous and evergreen trees in harmony with a creek that flowed past as gently as a dove. At the top of the ridge, the forest opened and the mountain dropped away, down hundreds of feet of gray granite wall. The ground was a carpet of florid splendor. Wildflowers, in full bloom, with their heads turned up to bask in the warmth of the late day sun. Here, at the top of a ridge facing north toward Colorado Springs was Wolf's burial site. 

As the last rays of daylight offered a goodnight kiss to the land that was its mate, the haloing glow of the falling sun cast the mountains in a somber shadow. Under the solemn sky, Sully and Brian dug in silence. Hard at work, they each took turns digging up the earth, knowing that soon they would return something more precious to her gentle care. Sully thrust his shovel into the ground in turn, heaving his mound of soil onto the pile beside him. Each thrust of the tool, each shovel-full of clay added to the pile, represented the slow rise of his emotions, buried deep within, that would soon come to the surface.

Now, though, he needed to feel the peacefulness of the moment, he needed to say goodbye in a setting that had spoken to his heart when he first set eyes on it. In this spot, he could almost see Wolf perched on the edge of the ridge standing guard, his body regal, with his nose in the air, waiting for Sully to catch up. Sully found peace in the thought that high on this ridge, close to his creator, Wolf's spirit could soar among the eagles that nested nearby.

Sully chose this spot for its serenity and because it afforded Wolf the pleasures of all four seasons. At this time of year, spring flowers would decorate his grave with a brilliant show of color. Soon leaves would fill out the trees, shading and cooling the ground from the intense summer heat.

In the fall, he would be covered with vibrant red and gold leaves. Then, when the skeletal trees retreated into their winter slumber, his grave would be blanketed with snow. A faint smile graced Sully's lips as he remembered how much Wolf loved snowy Colorado winters. With the first snow of the season, he would romp in it, almost as if laughing with boundless energy.

Their work complete, Sully paused, leaned against the shovel and wiped the sweat from his brow. It was then he noticed Michaela walking up the ridge holding Katie and Josef by the hand. Though her head was bowed down, Sully knew Katie was crying by the way she brought her free hand up to wipe the tears from her eyes. Josef's body was rigid and Sully watched with concern as his son stared blankly ahead. Dorothy trailed several feet behind them, at a comforting, yet unobtrusive distance, a grave expression on her face.

Against the stillness of the dawning dusk and the vanishing light, they gathered around the hole and watched in tearful silence as Sully lowered Wolf's body into the grave. The children clung to their mother in grief. Their experience with death was still so brief that they clung as well to the naiveté of life that the gift of youth bestowed upon them. Brian, no stranger to death's unwelcome visit, stepped forward to retrieve the shovel once more and began covering the hole.

An eagle flying overhead seemed to pause in flight above Wolf's grave acknowledging the solemnity of the event below him. Brian looked up and remembered that eagles carried prayers to the spirits. Perhaps this eagle was here to carry their prayers for Wolf's tender care up to God.

Brian's eyes returned to the grave in disbelief. He couldn't believe Wolf was gone. He had seemed invincible, a constant in their lives that would never change. But, life had taught him that nothing was constant, and that no one was ever prepared for the death of a loved one. In his experience, death came on suddenly, and without warning, leaving the survivors to mourn and carry on. He only had to remember his mother, Ingrid, and Anthony to know the truth of death's poor timing. After spreading several scoops of dirt over the body, he handed the shovel to Michaela.

With her vision blurred, Michaela stepped closer to the grave and filled-in the hole. She mourned the companion she had come to love. Only three short days ago, Wolf had been lying in the sun on the front porch of the homestead. He shouldn't have died this way, she told herself. Seeing the pain etched across her husband's face, it reminded her of the losses Sully had suffered throughout his life. Wolf was the last connection to his life before her and the children and she couldn't help think that Wolf's death was bringing up painful reminders of Abigail, Hannah and his Cheyenne family. She wiped the tears from her face and handed the shovel to Katie.

"Why do we all have to do it?" Katie quietly asked, speaking the first words in this somber occasion.

"You don't have to sweetheart, but I believe it helps us say goodbye to the ones we love," her mother explained.

Katie wiped her tears and tentatively reached for the shovel out of a desire to appease her mother. She doubted that filling the hole with dirt would make her feel any better about Wolf's death. This was her first experience with death that she could remember. Her grandmother had died when she was little, but she had only a faint memory of that event. She wondered if Wolf would be lonely all alone out here. It would have been better if they could have brought him home and buried him beside the house. She stepped closer to the grave, and with all her might, she thrust the shovel into the pile of dirt, throwing some over Wolf's grave. When she finished, she cried, her shoulders rising and falling in a steady rhythm. She let the shovel fall from her hands and walked into her mother's open arms. For a few silent moments Michaela rocked her daughter back and forth in an attempt to ease her grief.

Brian picked up the shovel and handed it to Josef. The little boy shook his head, refusing his turn. Josef stared straight ahead, his eyes glassy and his face pale. He didn't cry. He didn't show any reaction at all as his mother drew him close to her and held him. He was numb with guilt, sadness, and an overwhelming desire to start the day again and erase this horrible nightmare. Sully glanced at Michaela and their eyes locked, both of them sharing a silent concern for their youngest son. Then he nudged his head for Brian to offer the shovel to Dorothy.

Dorothy felt out of place at this family ceremony and she awkwardly reached for the shovel. When she finished, she handed it to Sully who completed the job in silence.

As Sully tossed soil over the grave, he reflected on how much Wolf had given him, and how he had started him on the road to healing from Abigail and Hannah's deaths. He couldn't imagine not having Wolf by his side.

With heads bowed and eyes moist, moments passed in silence as all six of them contemplated their own private thoughts and memories of Wolf. They thought about the many times this brave and loyal animal came to their aid and the unconditional love he gave them. They wondered if they had adequately repaid him for his many gifts. Brian had been waiting for Sully to say something in memory of Wolf. He glanced at Sully, but noticed that he remained with his head bowed in silent contemplation. Brian's eyes drifted toward his mother. She acknowledged his unanswered question with a slight nod.

Brian cleared his throat and began speaking. "The earliest memory I have of Wolf was when I was about six and I ran away to live with the Cheyenne like Pa." He paused to look at Sully. Meeting Sully's eyes and seeing a faint smile on his lips, he continued. "Wolf tracked my scent and found where I fell. He led Ma and Pa to me so they could save my life." Brian blinked several times to stop his tears from falling. "Another time when Colleen and I ran away to avoid going with Ethan, Wolf found us. I was mad at the time because I thought we'd have to go away, but Colleen was real sick and if Wolf hadn't found us, she might not have gotten better. Wolf was always looking out for us," he finished with a quivering voice.

"I have so many fond memories of Wolf," Michaela began. "After an encounter with a bobcat, he became one of my first patients after I arrived in Colorado Springs. In addition to helping us find Brian, he helped Sully track me when I was abducted by Dog Soldiers. Wolf had an uncanny way of knowing who to trust and who not to trust. He was fiercely loyal and I'll always remember his bond with Sully," she paused to glance at her husband and could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Out of his love for Sully, he adopted all of us as his family and cared for us and protected us. I love you Wolf and I'll miss you."

As Dorothy's turn to speak came she grew uncomfortable. "I…I don't know what to say. I suppose what I remember most about Wolf was that he was always with Sully. They looked out for each other and when Sully got involved with Michaela, he looked out for her and the children, too."

Michaela turned to the children. "Do you want to say something about Wolf sweethearts?"

"Wolf always watched out for us. Thank you for playing with me and sleeping in my bed when I was scared at night. Um, bye Wolf. I love you," Katie said, her voice breaking.

Josef remained silent and still like a statue. He didn't even blink.

"Josef, do you want to say something?" Michaela asked.

Josef stood frozen in place. He just shook his head and stared at the grave. For the first time he understood what dying meant. Nothing would ever be the same. Wolf was gone forever. He wanted to cry, but the tears didn't come.

"It's all right. You don't have to say anything," Michaela reassured. "As long as we remember the wonderful friend Wolf was to us, he will live on in our hearts and minds forever." Sensing that her husband needed time alone, she placed her arms around the children and led them away from the grave. Dorothy and Brian followed close behind.

Sully remained alone at the gravesite. After several long moments just staring out at the horizon toward the mountains, he knelt down and brushed his hand over the ground. Slowly he took his knife from its belt and cut a small piece of hair and placed it under a rock on the grave. He rested his hand over the rock, bowed his head and closed his eyes, letting a torrent of memories wash over him. After some time in silent reflection, he opened his eyes and rose to his feet. He stared at the grave for a few moments longer before speaking. "I'll miss ya boy. You were a good friend. Rest easy."

* * *

From a deep sleep, Michaela began to rouse. She reached her hand out to feel the comforting presence of her husband, but instead of the warmth of his body, all she found was empty air. Confused, she sat up wondering if she had overslept. The camp was still and the sky was dark. It wasn't near morning yet. Gradually, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she made out his figure standing a few yards away gazing into a dying fire. She rose to her feet, draped a shawl around her shoulders and approached him. 

"Are you all right?" She rested her hand on the small of his back.

Sully welcomed the physical warmth of the gesture. "Yeah," he replied, as he wrapped his arm around her. He drew her close, resting his cheek against the top of her head and pressed a kiss to her hair. He felt a profound sense of loss over the death of Wolf, but he also felt immense gratitude for his family, especially this amazing woman who was his wife. He was grateful he no longer lived alone in the woods with only Wolf for a friend.

Michaela could feel the sadness emanating from her husband. "I tried to save him Sully." She looked up at him, her face full of longing for the reassurance that he knew she did everything she could.

Sully pulled her closer. "I know ya did. This ain't your fault Michaela. It's no one's fault." He let the silence draw out between them then he inhaled a shaky breath. "Was he dead when ya found 'im?"

"No. He was gravely injured, but he was trying to make it back to camp. I followed his tracks into the woods and after a few minutes I saw him hobbling toward me. He collapsed on the ground. I ran to him and immediately tried to stop the bleeding, but I knew it was too late. I think Wolf knew it, too." She drew in a long breath and wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. "I held his head in my lap, petted him and told him we loved him. I thanked him for taking such good care of you," she added, her voice catching with emotion. "Sully, he looked right at me, as if he could understand what I was saying, before he closed his eyes. At that moment he was gone. Though I don't know how I managed it, I knew I had to bring him back to camp. That's when you saw me."

Sully found comfort in knowing Wolf hadn't died alone. "When Wolf was younger, he could've handled himself against a cougar. He was just too old. By the amount of blood on the ground near the cougar den, I'd say he fought hard though." He held Michaela's hand in the darkness, his fingers tightening around it firmly, as though he were afraid of losing it. "I can't believe he's gone. I keep expectin' 'im ta show up wantin' a scrap of food or ta be scratched behind the ears. It's hard to remember a time when he wasn't with me."

"I know. When I picture you when you're away, it's always with Wolf by your side."

"Now, I got you by my side." He leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her temple.

"Always."

"I wouldn't wanna go back to those years when it was just me an' him, but it's hard ta think of the years ahead without 'im. He kept me outta danger more times than I can remember. He didn't deserve ta go like that."

"He took good care of you…of all of us."

"He did." They both fell silent for several long moments.

"You never told me how you found Wolf."

"He found me actually," Sully recalled.

"Oh?"

"When I left the old homestead for the woods…after Abigail, I wandered around in circles for weeks, lost and angry. I didn't eat or sleep. I was mad I was alive when they were dead. I was angry at myself for not doin' more ta save 'em." Sully felt Michaela squeeze his hand. "One night I fell asleep by an abandoned cave and when I woke up, I found a wolf pup pressed against my back for warmth. I looked around for its ma, but there was no one there. The way I was feelin', I didn't want nothin' ta do with it, but he was so small, not fully weaned. I was worried he wouldn't make it without his ma so I spent the mornin' lookin' for her. Had nothin' better ta do. When I found 'er, she was dead, a bullet in 'er chest. A dead pup was next ta her, probably died of exposure."

"What did you do?"

"At the time, I could hardly look after myself. I didn't want anythin' ta do with 'im, but I couldn't leave 'im either. I figured I could keep 'im with me 'til he joined up with another pack."

"But he didn't join another pack, did he?" Michaela asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," Sully laughed lightly at the memory. "I couldn't get 'im ta leave. Once, when he was gone overnight, I figured he got adopted by a wolf pack so I moved on deeper into the woods alone. I was relieved. I didn't want nothin' dependen' on me. Then one day, I woke up ta find a bear standin' over me. I didn't try ta get away. Part o' me wanted ta die an' hoped it'd be quick. Then all of a sudden Wolf, just a little pup, started growlin' at the bear and got it to chase 'im. He came back a few hours later. From then on we looked out for each other. A few days later, the weather turned cold and since I hadn't been sleepin' much or eatin', I got real sick. I had a high fever and I was sure I was gonna die. I found out later that Cloud Dancin' had followed Wolf and found me unconscious and near death. He had seen the dead wolf and had been lookin' for any orphaned pups. Wolf got 'im ta follow 'im and that's when he found me and took me in. Somehow Wolf knew I needed someone to help me."

"I'll always be grateful to him for taking such good care of you. Wolf was the first living creature you cared for after Abigail. I believe you started healing with him."

"I had a long way ta go yet, but yeah, he touched somethin' in me that I thought was dead. Then Cloud Dancin' and the Cheyenne filled up the empty places, givin' me a reason ta live. Knowin' the comfort Wolf gave me after I lost Abigail was the reason I brought Brian Pup that first Christmas after Charlotte died."

"It was the perfect gift."

Sully sighed heavily. "The kids are takin' this hard."

"Especially Josef. Sully, do you think it's wise for us to leave in the morning as planned? Perhaps we should spend more time helping the children come to terms with what's happened."

"We best be movin' on. There's nothin' ta be gained from stayin' 'round here. We can explain things ta the kids on the way." Sully remained silent for a few moments before continuing. "Michaela," he hesitated. "Somethin' about Josef's story don't add up."

"What do you mean?"

"A cougar's not gonna come near folks unless it's rabid or sick."

"Perhaps she was looking for food for her cubs. It was a harsh winter," she said, trying to come up with another reason.

"Maybe." He paused to consider his next question. "Are you sure you knew where Joe was all afternoon?"

"Of course I did. He was near the deer path, and then he walked to the large fallen oak and played."

"Ya sure he didn't wander off?"

"Josef knows better than to wander off. I'm certain he played right where he said he did. What are you suggesting?"

"I'm not sure yet." He decided to ask her one more question to ease his mind. "Did ya happen ta notice where his tracks went?"

Michaela thought back to earlier in the day. "Josef ran ahead of me into the woods before I brought him back to camp. His tracks were going off in all different directions. I remember not being certain which way Wolf's tracks went at first, but then I saw a distinct trail going off in a different direction from Josef's. Sully, what's all this about?"

"Probably nothin', but I can't let go o' the feelin' that Joe's not tellin' us everythin'. Maybe he left somethin' out."

"Sully, I know this is hard for you to accept, but you're searching for something that's not there. We all loved Wolf and he loved us. I would have preferred he lived to a ripe old age, spending his last years curled up on our front porch letting the children play and trample all over him. But, he died protecting our family instead. I shudder to think about what might have happened to Josef had he not been there."

Sully weighed Michaela's words heavily against an unyielding struggle that was brewing within him. "You think that's what happened? That the cougar found Joe at the log?"

"Why wouldn't I think that? It's what Josef told us happened. Sully, he's never given us any reason not to trust him. Don't you trust him now?"

Sully breathed deeply, wanting with all his heart to believe Josef had told them the truth. He wanted to believe that, in his shock and grief, he was confused by what he thought he saw. "Of course," he responded. "I…I trust him, too."

Josef had woken earlier from a nightmare and now he sat with his head outside the tent, listening to every word his parents spoke. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He had never seen his father so sad and he knew if his parents ever found out the truth, that he caused Wolf's death, they would never forgive him. Josef didn't know how he was going to live the rest of his life knowing that Wolf's death was his fault. _If only I hadn't followed those tracks_. W_hat could I ever do that would be good enough to make things right again?_ He wanted to go back and fix this, but he couldn't. _Why can't we go back and fix the bad things we did?_ _Why_?"

* * *

_To Be Continued_

_Thank you so much for reading. I love all of your comments, both here and on the Forum. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company. _

No Greater Burden

Chapter Six

The emotionally draining events of the previous day had caused most everyone to sleep late the next morning, delaying the start of their journey. After a slow start, they experienced a subdued half-day of traveling in which, even the children, who were usually restless in the wagon, sat quiet and still, hardly speaking a word. Lacking the energy to push forward, they decided to stop early and rest for the night. Sully chose to set up camp at the bottom of a ridge, along a shallow stream, near a small group of cedar trees.

With the sun beginning its descent from the sky, Michaela and Dorothy pitched the tent for the children while Brian gathered wood for the fire. From atop the wagon, Sully handed the last of the bedrolls to Katie and Josef to place on the ground. He then finished unloading only those supplies that were needed for this evening. Tomorrow they would head out at first light and try to make up some of the ground they had lost on the trip so far.

At this rate of travel, it would be a week before they arrived at the Cheyenne and Arapaho Indian Agency. Sully hoped that Michaela was still willing to be flexible about their plans. He didn't want to cut short his visit with Cloud Dancing because it took them longer to reach the reservation. Throughout the day, his skepticism about Josef's story invaded his mind and he was finding it increasingly difficult to reason it away. Sully did his best to push the unsettling questions aside and move forward with the rest of their trip.

Satisfied that everything was ready for the night, Sully approached Michaela from behind, placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it briefly. "I'm gonna get us some supper."

She turned her head to look up at him. "All right. We'll have the fire ready when you return."

Sully turned to his children, who were seated by the side of the tent. "Why don't you both come fishin' with me?"

Katie closed her book and eagerly jumped to her feet. "Yeah, that'll be fun."

Josef remained seated on the ground, staring off in the direction they had come. He didn't say a word.

"How 'bout you, Joe?" Sully was concerned about how quiet he had been all day.

"I don't wanna go."

"Ya sure? Ya love fishin'," he gently pressed.

Josef nodded.

Sully studied his son, concerned about his state of mind. Josef hadn't been himself since Wolf died. If Sully had any lingering doubts about what he saw, they were slowly being dispelled by his son's behavior. He was growing more certain that Josef hadn't told them everything. For now, he would let it be, confident that his son would come to him in his own time. "All right, you stay here and help your ma." Sully looked backward over his shoulder to Michaela. "I'm gonna take Katie fishin' with me."

"Have fun," she replied. "If you see any of those wild onions, please bring some back."

Sully waved in acknowledgement of her request. With fishing rods and bucket in hand, father and daughter headed toward the stream. Along the way, they took turns pointing out the names of plants, trees, and birds. Katie loved birds; she kept a piece of paper near her window at home so she could write down the name of every new bird she saw. She also loved to identify the names of the plants and herbs in the woods, especially those her mother used in the clinic.

Katie ran ahead at the sight of an unusual plant. Kneeling down to examine it, she recognized it as one she had only seen once with her mother. "Guess what this one is," she said, certain she had stumped her father.

Sully smiled. "It's arnica."

Katie frowned and her shoulders slumped. "How'd you know?"

"Cloud Dancin' taught your ma an' me about arnica. It helps heal bruises." Before Katie had straightened to her full height, Sully swept her up in the air and lifted her onto his shoulders.

"Papa," Katie squealed with joy.

"Look in the nest," Sully said, revealing the reason for hoisting her in the air.

"There's an egg."

"What kind?"

Katie narrowed her eyes and studied the egg. "Uh…Oh, I know. It's a red tailed hawk," she said confidently.

"That's right," her father replied, pleased. "I bet Oklahoma has birds we never saw before."

"You think so," she replied, delighted.

"Yeah, I do." Sully continued to carry Katie on his shoulders until they reached the water's edge. Then he lowered her to the ground and watched as she crouched down in the dirt to dig for worms.

"Do you think Cloud Dancing will remember me?" Katie asked. She expertly affixed the worm to the end of the pole and placed it in the water.

"Sure he will," her father replied, lowering his pole into the water.

"I don't remember him," Katie revealed. "I know what you and Mama told me about him, but I don't remember things myself, from when he lived near us. I can't even remember what he looks like."

Sully swallowed hard. "That's why we're takin' this trip. So you and Josef can get ta know Cloud Dancin' again and the rest o' the Cheyenne."

"Why did Cloud Dancing go away?"

"He needed to live with his people…his tribe," Sully replied. Their conversation was momentarily interrupted by a tug on the end of his line. Sully stood and raised his pole out of the water, revealing a large trout.

"You got one!" Katie exclaimed, moving closer to examine the fish wiggling to free itself from the end of the line. She handed her father the bucket.

Sully took the fish off the hook and placed it in the bucket. "A few more and we'll have enough for supper."

"Why did Cloud Dancing go back to his tribe?" Katie asked, eager to learn more about her father's friend.

Sully returned his pole to the water. "Cloud Dancin's a medicine man. He's a real important person to the tribe, one that carries great responsibility. He needed to return ta his people ta teach the children 'bout bein' Cheyenne."

"Is he a doctor like Mama?"

"Doctorin' is part of it, but a medicine man is a spiritual leader for the people."

Katie didn't understand the distinction so she turned her attention to the fishing pole, impatient at not catching anything. "Will there be other kids at the reservation?"

"Yep."

"Do they speak English?"

"I expect most of 'em are learnin' English in school, but it would be good if you learned some Cheyenne words to say to 'em."

"Like what?"

Sully stared into the stream and thought for a few moments. "We can start with water. Mahpe."

"Mahpe," Katie repeated.

"Good. Now try another one. Girl. He'eka'eskone."

"That's too hard. He'eka'…"

"eskone," Sully finished. "Here's an easier word. Ta tell someone I'm your father you say, 'ne'hyo."

"'Neho' - what?" Katie looked away in frustration. "I can't learn Cheyenne."

"Sure ya can. It was real hard for me the first time I heard it. And your ma learned some workin' at the reservation. We just have ta keep practicin' these words. People appreciate when ya try ta learn about their ways an' language. Not to expect 'em ta just learn our ways."

"I'll try."

Sully placed a comforting hand on the back of her head. "I know ya will, sweet girl."

At that moment Katie felt her line pull. Sully saw her struggling to maintain control of the pole and he leaned over to steady it for her, gripping it with his strong hands.

She shook off her father's hands. "No! I wanna do it myself!" Katie insisted.

"Katie, you can't hang onto that fish yourself. Let me help you."

"No! I can do it!" Katie stood and walked closer to the edge of the stream, pulling the fishing pole with all her might. Sully watched her stubborn attempt to hold onto the fish. Then, in an instant, Katie fell into the stream still holding onto her rod. Sully leapt to his feet to rescue her.

"I got it! I got it!" Katie yelled triumphantly, as she wiggled in the water to hang onto the fish. When she crawled back up, the fish was still attached to the pole. Her father helped her out of the water and lifted the fish off the line.

"Ya sure did." He shook his head with amusement. "It's times like this, you remind me most of your ma," Sully said, proud of the bold, determined spirit of his daughter.

Katie's eyes grew wide at the compliment. "I do?"

"Yeah, just like 'er." At the sight of his daughter, dripping wet from head to toe, Sully removed his shirt. He wrung out her hair, handed her his shirt, and suggested she change out of her wet clothes behind the tree. Sully knew Michaela wouldn't be pleased that Katie fell in the stream, but she'd be more upset if she got sick. When Katie emerged in the dry shirt, Sully draped her wet dress over his arm and the two headed back toward camp.

Father and daughter walked in companionable silence. After a few moments, Sully finally broached the topic that had been on his mind all day.

"Katie, how ya holdin' up since Wolf…?" Sully couldn't say the words. "Is there anythin' ya wanna talk ta me about?"

"I…I wish he was still with us," she said, her lip quivering.

"Me, too," Sully said, placing his arm around her shoulder. "You know I always try ta keep my promises." He paused to kneel down in front of her and placed both hands on her shoulders.

Katie looked up at him with bright brown eyes. "I know."

"Well…when I promised you and your brother that Wolf would be all right, I didn't know anythin' 'bout what happened. I never should have promised that without knowin' more."

Katie hugged her father. "I know you would have kept your word if you could."

Sully hugged her back even tighter. "Katie, I would have done anythin' ta keep that promise. It was just too late." He pulled back to look into her eyes. "So, you're not mad at me?"

"No."

"Good. How 'bout your brother?"

"He's real upset, but I don't think he's mad either."

"We'll both have to help him get through this," Sully said, as he rose to his feet and took Katie's hand in his. Hand-in-hand, father and daughter continued their trek back to the campsite.

* * *

_The large, tan animal was in the air, heading right toward him. He was frozen in place with his hands over his eyes, his small body trembling in fear. Run, he told himself, run, run, run! But he couldn't move. Growls and screeches echoed in his head. A blur of gray fur tangled with tan. Large open mouths, sharp teeth, piercing eyes, and bright red blood, merged together like a collage. He ran and ran as fast as he could back to the campsite, through the woods, under low-hanging branches and around fallen logs. The sounds of deep snarls and yelps rang loud in his head. Images of Wolf in the woods playing with him, the lunging animal, teeth and blood, loud growls and screeches flashed like snapshots in his mind. And then, the silence. _

Josef woke with a start, his heart chilled to ice. He was covered in sweat, his hair damp, and his body shaking from the visions in his sleep. Feeling disoriented, he drew a shuddering breath and looked around the tent. When he noticed his sister sleeping peacefully on the other side, he sighed, realizing he was safe. As the night visions came into sharper focus, Josef began to cry from fear and sadness. They were soft muffled sobs, into his arms so as not to wake his family. More than anything, he wanted to go to his parents. He wanted to feel his mother's arms around him and hear her soothing tone comforting him as she always did when he had a bad dream. Josef's tears flowed harder and faster at the knowledge that this was not just a bad dream. It had happened. And it had happened because of him.

Josef sat for several minutes weighed down by his grief. Wolf's death had been his fault and now nothing would ever be the same again. He could never tell his parents what had really happened. He couldn't tell anyone the bad thing he had done. _No one would ever forgive me. Why did I follow those tracks_, _why_? His father had told him that Wolf would watch out for him if he paid attention. _Why didn't I remember? Why didn't I listen?_

Wolf died angry with him. That Josef knew for certain. To make matters worse, he didn't honor Wolf at the burial. He refused to take the shovel and he didn't say a word, not even goodbye. _Did Wolf know how much I loved him? How much I never wanted him to die_? Josef felt he needed to do something to make things right again. He needed Wolf to know how sorry he was.

Josef made a decision. It was the only solution he could think of to make amends. _I'll walk back to Wolf's grave and tell him I'm sorry_. If Wolf knew how sorry he was, if he knew how much he loved him, maybe Josef wouldn't feel so awful inside. He closed his eyes tight, trying to picture the road they traveled that day. _I remember how to get back_. _I can make it back alone_.

After what happened in the woods with Wolf, he knew he had to be careful. This time, there would be no childish games. In losing Wolf, Josef had lost some of his innocence and had been taught a hard lesson about consequences. For this journey, he would be smart. He would draw on the lessons he learned from his father to get him to the grave and back. He would follow the stream next to the road and he would avoid all animal tracks. "If I leave now, and move quickly, I can make it back in time for lunch," he whispered into the cool night air.

Confident he could do this, he poked his head out of the tent. The sun had just begun to peek over the horizon, turning the sky a light shade of gray as it blended with the darkness of the night. Josef drew in a deep breath and reminded himself that he was a big boy now, fully capable of finding his way to the grave and back. He dressed, moving slowly and quietly around the tent so as not to wake Katie. Then he packed a small bag, tucking in his drawing of Wolf, the one of the two of them playing, to leave as an offering at his grave. Taking one last look around to make sure everyone was still asleep, he tiptoed out of the tent, pausing at the wagon to add a few pieces of fruit to his bag then disappeared into the dawn.

* * *

Michaela stirred, skimming on the surface of sleep. In the shadows, she saw the figure of her son walking down the road away from the campsite, a bag slung over his shoulder. She bolted upright on her bedroll, startled by the vision. When her confusion cleared and she realized she had been asleep, she breathed an audible sigh of relief. "It was only a dream," she murmured as her eyes looked out into the morning, blinking at its brightness. By the position of the sun in the sky, Michaela knew it was late morning already. 

She looked over at Sully, sleeping soundly next to her, and smiled at the peaceful little-boy look on his face. He almost never slept this late, but having gotten no sleep the night before, it was evident he needed it. The camp was quiet and still and it appeared that everyone had overslept. Ready to begin the day, she rose quietly, careful not to disturb her husband, and made her way to the fire to start breakfast. On the way, she saw Dorothy returning from washing up at the stream.

"Good morning," Michaela called. She attempted to tame her unruly hair with a piece of rawhide. "How long have you been up?"

"About an hour. I already started the fire and made coffee." Dorothy handed Michaela a cup.

"Thank you."

"Is Sully feeling all right? I don't think I've ever known him to sleep this late," Dorothy remarked.

"Sully didn't get any sleep the night Wolf died. I think it all finally caught up with him, the children, too."

"Mornin'." Sully greeted. He joined them by the fire, having been woken by their voices.

"Good morning." Dorothy couldn't hide the smirk on her face as she took in his disheveled appearance.

Michaela ran her hand through his hair to smooth it and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Thank you," Sully replied, reaching for the cup. "Kids still sleepin'?"

"Yes," Michaela said. "Should I wake them?"

Sully shook his head. "Let 'em sleep." He took a seat in front of the fire, running his fingers through his hair to work out the tangles. "I was hopin' ta get an early start this mornin', but it seems we all needed the extra sleep."

"Somethin' smells good. I'm starved," Brian said. He approached his parents, taking a seat and filling a cup with coffee.

"Good morning, Brian," his mother said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I must have been real tired. I don't think thunder could've woken me last night."

"I'm hungry," Katie said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she joined the group around the fire.

"Breakfast will be ready shortly, sweetheart," Michaela replied. "Why don't you go wake your brother?"

"He's not in there," Katie said.

"What do you mean not in there?" her mother asked, certain she had misunderstood her.

"He was gone when I woke up. I thought he was out here with you," Katie explained.

Michaela felt her body stiffen as she recalled the vision that woke her this morning. Quickly, she dismissed it. Josef knew better than to wander off on his own, especially after the frightening events of the previous day.

Sully quickly got to his feet and placed a hand on Michaela's shoulder. "Don't worry. He couldn't have gone far. He probably just walked into the woods ta tend to nature's call. I'll find 'im."

Michaela scanned the campground, and then checked the tent. After looking around the wagon, she checked the tent again, as if somehow Katie had been mistaken and he might magically appear. "Josef," she called, before exiting the tent. "Josef, where are you?" She walked around the tent and the surrounding area calling his name.

Brian searched the tent again then turned to his mother. "Ma."

Michaela pivoted in his direction, disturbed by the concern inflected in his tone.

"Ma…his bag is gone."

"What? Why would he need his bag?"

Katie trailed after her mother overhearing Brian's remark. "Did Joey run away?"

"Don't be ridiculous. He didn't run away," Michaela replied, more sharply than she intended.

"I'm sure he's nearby, Katie," Brian said, comforting his little sister. He walked to the wagon to see if anything else was missing. In the distance, he could hear Sully calling to Josef. From the tone in his voice, Brian knew that he hadn't been able to find him.

Sully ran back into the camp breathing heavily. "I can't find 'im. Did he come back?"

Michaela's face paled. "No."

"Pa, Joe took his bag with him and some fruit," Brian told him.

Sully took in Brian's words weighing the possible meanings in his mind.

"Sully, where would he go?" Michaela's words were tinged with genuine panic.

"I don't know," he replied, his brow furrowed.

"Dorothy, you were the first one up. Did you see Josef this morning?" Michaela asked.

"No. The camp was so quiet. I thought everyone was still asleep."

"He must o' gone off before any of us got up," Sully surmised.

"Gone off?" Michaela echoed, unable to wrap her mind around the words. "Where? Why?"

"I'll watch Katie while all of you go out looking for him," Dorothy offered. "He couldn't have gone far on foot."

Sully felt a wave of anxiety bubble up inside him. He had sensed something was off with his son. He blamed himself for not confronting him with his doubts about the day Wolf died, when they first surfaced. If he had, perhaps he could have prevented his disappearance.

Sully pushed his fear back inside; he had to remain strong for his wife and children. "We don't know which way he went. I looked from here ta the stream, but there's dense woods goin' in all directions. We can cover more ground if we split up. Michaela, you go back ta the stream an' follow it back the way we came. Brian, you go back the way we traveled in the wagon through the forest, and I'll go on ahead. Look for tracks. If Josef left when the ground was still soft, we should be able ta see his footprints. We'll meet back here in two hours."

"Papa," Katie looked at him.

Sully squatted on his heels to meet her eye to eye, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'll find 'im. Don't worry."

"Promise." Her voice quivered as she spoke.

"I promise," he replied, pulling Katie close to him. Then he whispered in her ear. "And this is a promise I'm gonna keep. You can count on it."

"Sully, I don't understand what's happened." Michaela walked back and forth in front of the children's tent twisting her fingers together nervously trying to make sense of her son's disappearance. "Why would Josef have wandered off?"

Sully stood and stopped her pacing by taking her hands in his. "That don't matter right now Michaela," he said, with a gentle squeeze to her hands. "We gotta find him first. We can sort the rest out later."

Michaela tightened her grip on his hands. "Yes, you're right. We have to find him. We have to."

* * *

"Josef!" Michaela yelled, as she followed the banks of the stream. "Josef, where are you?" she echoed louder, desperate for him to hear her calls. After an hour of searching along the side of the stream, she walked it again, as if this time she was going to get it right. This time, by calling louder, walking slower and looking closer, she would find him by a tree or near a rock, patiently waiting to be found. She walked and walked, calling out his name louder and louder, until her voice grew hoarse. She paused to listen for an answer, afraid she wouldn't hear him over the pounding of her own heart. 

She looked around every tree, near every stump, and behind every bush, moving slowly and methodically, looking for any sign of her son. After some time passed and he hadn't answered her calls, a jolt of fear shot through her.

Like a wave, it crashed around her and she felt herself sinking inward, as she had when she first learned Katie had been kidnapped. She covered her face with her hands as she thought about her little boy lost and alone in the woods, perhaps injured or worse. Pictures flashed through her mind, each one more terrifying than the last. Pictures of Josef hurt and unconscious, mauled by a wild animal, or drowned in the stream. Michaela pulled herself together. It wouldn't help Josef if she fell apart now. She had to keep searching. She wouldn't stop. Michaela couldn't allow herself to even think, let alone say out loud what she would do if she and Sully didn't find him. They were going to find him. They just had to.

As her worry and anxiety intensified, she kept asking herself why he wandered off. It wasn't like Josef to go off on his own. Like any adventurous boy his age, he would sometimes venture too far when he became distracted while playing, but he had never deliberately set off alone taking a bag with food. That didn't make sense. Nothing about his behavior over the past twenty-four hours resembled her son. _Who was this Josef? What had happened to change her little boy so drastically?_

Compounding her fear and dread was guilt. Guilt that she hadn't gone to check on him when she awoke from what she assumed was a dream. If she had acted right away, especially knowing the trauma he had just been through with Wolf, perhaps he wouldn't have gotten such a head start and they would have found him by now. Michaela was growing fearful that she wouldn't find him before something happened to him. Or worse yet, that he would continue to wander lost in the woods without anyone able to find him.

"Josef, it's Mama! Please answer me," she called again, frantic. Her eyes darted among the thick trees and out across the stream. Hearing no response to her calls and seeing no trace of him, her eyes filled with tears. Not knowing where to turn next, she brought her arm to her forehead and braced herself against a tree as a feeling of helplessness overwhelmed her. With a deep sigh, she struggled to regain her composure along with her energy to keep searching. Just because she hadn't found him didn't mean that Sully or Brian hadn't. In all likelihood, when she returned at their appointed time, one of them would have returned Josef safely back to camp. That thought comforted her. It was all she had to hold onto at the moment. As Michaela made her way back to camp, a faint light of hope flickered within her, like a lone candle in a window at night.

On her way back, Michaela walked with her eyes fixed to the ground, looking for anything she might have missed. As she scanned the edge of the stream, she suddenly noticed a small footprint in the dirt. Stopping short, she blinked, thinking it was a mirage. When she opened her eyes again, the footprint was still there. It hadn't been her imagination. _How could I have missed this?_ She thought. Kneeling close to the ground to examine the track, she noticed several small, perfectly formed footprints of a child going off to the right. "They're Josef's," she said out loud, stunned. _What else have I missed? _Slowly, she rose to her feet and began to follow his tracks.

"Josef!" She resumed her calls. He had been here. Perhaps he was still nearby. Quickening her pace, her breathing became harder and more labored from nearly exhausting her energy in despair. The trail was so clear that she chastised herself for missing it earlier. Then, as suddenly as she noticed the tracks, they came to an abrupt halt near the water's edge. Her worried eyes scanned the rippling surface. She told herself Josef wouldn't have gone in the water. But she also told herself he wouldn't have left in the first place, so how could she be sure? Still, she couldn't see any more footprints. "Josef," she called again.

Frantically, she searched the area for more tracks, but she didn't see any, except her own. Her mind raced with possibilities, the worst of them being that Josef had fallen in the water and drowned. Overcome with pulsating panic, a heavy darkness set in snuffing out the light of hope she had clung to only moments ago.

Michaela ran back to camp as fast as she could, propelled by a mother's fear. Perhaps her earlier thoughts were correct and her son was safely at camp. If not, Sully could return to the stream and search for him. After all, he was a far better tracker than she was, and at the moment, she didn't trust her own abilities through her veil of despondence.

As she emerged from the woods and headed toward camp, she looked for Josef. Her heart sank when she realized he wasn't there. In the center of the campsite, Sully and Brian stood talking to Dorothy, presumably filling her in on their search while waiting for her to return. When she caught her husband's eye, he hurried toward her. Michaela picked up her pace, and when she reached Sully's side, she grasped his shirt with her hand. "Sully," she gasped, trying to catch her breath. "I…I saw…foot…" Her voice trailed off as she fought to speak after running so far and so fast.

Sully took her hands in his. "Slow down Michaela. What did you find?"

"Footprints," she breathed.

"Josef's?"

She nodded. "I…I think so." Then she met his eyes.

He was startled by her expression. "What is it?"

"Th…they stopped at the edge of the stream." Michaela swallowed hard to catch her breath. "What if he fell in?"

Her words hit him hard, but he did his best to disguise his fear from her. "It don't mean he fell in. Tell me where ya saw the first tracks an' I'll find 'im. I promise ya."

"Follow the stream and you'll see his prints," she said, as the tears she had been trying to control were falling freely now. "Find him Sully, please."

"I'll bring him home, I promise." Sully briefly touched her face, swiping at the tears, before sprinting in the direction of the stream.

* * *

He stopped at the edge of the stream to cool off and take a drink of water. Scooping the cool refreshing liquid into his small hands, he brought them to his lips and drank. He repeated this routine several times until he finally wet his dry mouth, quenching his thirst. 

Wiping the drops of stream water and sweat from his face with the back of his hand, he looked around. The late morning heat was so intense that he took off his socks and shoes to wade in at the water's edge, being careful to go no further than his ankles. The water reflected the forest and the sky in a revolving blur of blues and greens. Josef studied his reflection in the water. He wondered if anything about his appearance had changed since Wolf's death; if his face betrayed the secret he was desperate to keep hidden.

With his shoes back on, he traversed a path over rocks at the water's edge. Stepping out of the stream onto a fallen log, he walked across its entire length with its dark, crumbling trunk covered with layers of pale mushrooms. When he reached the other side, he planted his feet on the hard ground, pausing to rest and to think about which way to go next. His eyes scanned the area looking for familiar clues, and through the dense trees off to the right, he thought he saw a clearing that he was sure would lead him to the grave. Bolstered by his newfound confidence, he headed off toward the trees, moving even deeper into the woods.

Josef followed a deer trail that wound its way along for a quarter of a mile. Almost tripping, he grabbed at a shrub, leaving his hands sticky and pungent with sap. The forest floor was steep and tangled with broken dead branches and he had to weave his way through it with great care. He had been walking through the dense forest for hours in the sweltering heat, no longer certain of the direction he was headed. No matter how far he walked, the clearing never seemed to get any closer.

Surrounded by tall, thick trees, the path, that this morning seemed so clear to him, was now muddled and confused. He had set out at dawn with the intention of going back to Wolf's grave, making amends, and returning to the campsite. Now, with the sun high in the sky, he was tired and hungry and he wasn't sure where the grave was or, even how to get back to his family.

By late afternoon, he had walked deeper into the woods. A leafy canopy of trees overhead brought a dense shade to the forest floor. Nothing about where he was now seemed familiar. It was trees and more trees, endless trees, each one looking like the last. He was so tired, his muscles burned, and he hadn't eaten for hours. But, before he could rest, he needed to complete what he set out to do. _Was that even possible now?_ He faced the sobering reality that he didn't know how to find Wolf's grave and he didn't know how to find his way back to his family. In truth, he was lost. Scared to his bones, he slumped down against a tree to think.

By dusk, the forest around him was alive with sound. He could hear the echoing of birds, the wolves in the distance calling, the shouting of the tree frogs and squirrels scampering across the branches above him. The familiar forest sounds provided little comfort now, when he didn't know how to get back to his family. He struggled to put out the fire of fear that blazed within him. Josef thought hard about what to do. He knew his parents would be looking for him. Too tired to keep walking, he decided to stay put, hoping that soon he would be found. _I'll be okay if I just stay here. Papa will find me. I know he will,_ Josef told himself. Scared, he burst into tears, hot streaks burning a path down his cheeks. He buried his face in his crossed arms, and sobbed. His heavy sobs draining what little energy he had left, so much so that he barely had the energy to cry anymore. As his tears slowed to a trickle, Josef fell asleep, his tired and worn body curled up beneath a massive spruce tree.

The child lay sleeping soundly for some time when a pair of strong arms, like the branches of an oak, lifted him up, cradled him close, and carried him to camp.

_To Be Continued…_


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company. _

**No Greater Burden **

**Chapter Seven **

It didn't take long for Sully to find the first footprint. From there, he saw a defined pattern of similar tracks heading north along the rocky bank of the stream. He moved silently along the bank, following the footprints, until they stopped abruptly at the water's edge just like Michaela had said. His heart sank with fear and trepidation. As he stared out at the water, its current strong from the snowmelt and spring rains, he felt himself sinking into despair. _Had Josef gone into the water? _

The day had turned blazing hot, without a cloud in the sky. It was possible Josef waded into the stream to cool off. Even if he had gone in, Sully was almost certain he would not have gone far, since he had only just learned to swim and was afraid of water over his head. A wave of anxiety rose up from his gut as he thought of another possibility. _What if a strong current knocked him over and swept him downstream?_ Sully shook himself in an attempt to banish the negative thoughts from his mind. They helped no one. What he needed the most was a clear head to continue his search of the area for clues.

All too quickly, the day had gone from morning to afternoon in what seemed like minutes rather than hours. For at least the hundredth time, he wished that Wolf were by his side, helping him search for his son. Wolf would have tracked Josef's scent and, in all likelihood, the little boy would be safe and sound back at camp by now. With no more tracks to follow, and no evidence of broken branches or bent grass, Sully couldn't decide which direction to head. A wrong choice would cost him hours of precious time, lessening his chances of reaching Josef before nightfall.

"Josef," he yelled at the top of his lungs, not expecting to be heard, but not knowing what else to do. "It's Pa. If you can hear me, make a sound. Let me know where you are." Sully listened hard. There was no response, just the ordinary sounds of the woods. With his arms at his side, he tilted his head toward the sky and closed his eyes, centering himself to focus on his son in an attempt to feel his whereabouts.

In the past, he had been able to feel such a connection with Michaela. Surely, he would be able to feel his own son near, or at least be given a sign as to which direction to head. As Sully stood in silence, concentrating all his energy on his son, but sensing nothing, valuable time was slipping away. It was time that he didn't have to spare if he was going to find Josef before something happened to him.

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and braced himself for the search ahead. His eyes darted from the stream to the woods behind him as he tried to think like his son. Out of frustration, he hurled a rock into the stream with all his might, emitting a cry from deep in his throat. "Where did you go?" he shouted toward the water. He hurled another rock and noticed that it bounced back up in the air. Curious, Sully stepped closer to the water's edge. Under the shallow water of the stream, he saw large rocks that formed a path upstream. A glimmer of hope began to flicker within him. _Josef probably walked along the rocks to cool off_. If Sully followed the rocks, he believed he would find the footprints again.

With haste, he placed one foot gingerly onto the slippery surface of the first rock. He followed the rock path while keeping his eyes fixed on the land beside him looking for clues as to where Josef had gotten out of the stream.

The cool water felt good against the heat of the day and Sully scooped some up with his hands, splashing his face. At the point where the rock path came to an end, a fallen log jutted out into the stream. He stepped out of the water to examine the area around the log. Not seeing footprints on the ground, he followed a hunch and decided to walk the length of the log. At the other end of the log, his heart lifted in relief as the footprints resumed. He was on the right track.

Sully pressed forward, around trees and rocks, following the footprints. The further away from the stream he walked, the trees grew closer together and the forest became denser and darker. He ran through the forest at a dizzying speed, as if pushed ahead by an invisible force, trying to close the distance on the several hour lead Josef had on him. He ignored the branches that tore at his skin and clothes, and he ceased thinking about why or when and focused only on the footprints. All that mattered were those footprints. They would lead him to his son. He was close. He could feel it.

The tracks led to a large spruce tree. But like the footprints at the stream, they stopped abruptly at the base of the tree. Unwilling to believe what his eyes told him, Sully circled the massive trunk several times. Josef had to be here. He just had to be. With his heart pounding, he examined the ground leading in all directions and checked behind every bush, desperate for clues. There was nothing. The high notes of eager anticipation that had been building within him to an exciting crescendo all at once were replaced by the dirge like chords of despair. It appeared as if Josef had walked as far as this tree then vanished.

Sully leaned his back against the tree, brought his hands to his face and sank down to the ground. "Think", he said out loud. "Think. Where was he going? Why isn't he here?" A few minutes passed as he tried to figure out his next move. Then five.

Then ten.

Then fifteen.

Sully weighed two options over and over in his mind. He could continue searching without clues, but once his direction was set, he would have no idea if he was growing closer to his son or putting even more distance between them. The second option was to return to camp. If he returned without Josef, he didn't think he could bear to see the anguished look in Michaela's eyes. He felt like he was letting her down, letting his son down, letting everyone down. There was only one choice. He had to decide on a path and continue the search. All he could hope for now was that his instincts, combined with guidance from the spirits, and a little luck would lead him to his son.

After staring at the possible trails until he felt like he knew each leaf and twig by heart, Sully noticed a few bent blades of grass and crumpled leaves heading to the west. Though the clues were nearly imperceptible, he decided to head in their direction. With precious few hours of daylight remaining, he needed to move quickly along the path he had chosen and pray that it would lead him to Josef. The adrenaline raced through his blood again. He moved at a fast pace, his hair and shirt soaked with sweat from the heat of the afternoon sun. An old deserted cave had come up empty, so, too, had a hollow log and an area of sheltered overgrowth. At each of these spots, his heart leapt with hopeful optimism only to be replaced by the cold stab of pain at the sight of the vacant spaces.

Sully knew he was wandering aimlessly now. Finding Josef had become a matter of luck, not skill. Just when he began to sink deeper into despair, he noticed a broken twig. Sully knelt down to examine the twig, and he could tell that it had been stepped on by a creature that weighed more than a squirrel or a rabbit. The only question in his mind was whether it was his son or merely a deer out looking for supper. It didn't matter. He had to follow any sign, no matter how tenuous. He couldn't stop looking. He had to find him.

The sun had begun its descent behind the mountains when Sully noticed the faint outline of a footprint in the dirt. It was that of an adult. There was no indication of how long ago the person passed through and if the footprint would lead him to his son. With no other clues to follow, he had to head in the direction of the footprint. His heart sank as he came to the realization that he might not find Josef before nightfall. _Would he be able to survive a night in the woods alone?_ Glancing at the sky, Sully knew the weather would hold. What worried him was how his son would find food or whether a hungry animal might attack him. A new worry surfaced inside him. _Had Josef been abducted?_ At that moment, the peaceful tranquility of the woods, that had always brought a stillness and calm to Sully, seemed wrought with danger for a seven year-old boy.

Sully's silent searching was punctured by the snap of a dead branch. At the sound, he spun around, grasped his tomahawk, and found himself face to face with an Indian. He was tall and muscular with long raven hair and a straight angular face. He wore only a buckskin breechclout and leggings, his bare chest adorned with several strands of beads and feathers. In his hand was a freshly killed rabbit.

Sully took particular note of the large knife hanging from the side of his belt still stained with fresh blood. Few Indians still roamed free on this land. Those who were found were immediately ushered back to reservations. Sully wondered who he was, how long he'd been out here, and most importantly, if he had seen his son.

Sully let his hand drop away from his tomahawk. "Ha ho," he said, in an attempt to show him he was friendly.

The Indian did not respond and continued to stare at Sully as if weighing his next move. Sully looked into his penetrating dark brown eyes and saw a man burdened by some knowledge or sorrow. The haunted look in his eyes sent a chill coursing throughout his body.

The Indian began to speak in a deep, steady voice. "You are looking for the boy."

* * *

"I don't know how much more of this waiting I can take," Michaela told Dorothy, as her feet wore a path in the dirt from the wagon to the tent and back again.

Dorothy trailed after her friend in an attempt to calm and reassure her. "Michaela, you have to trust Sully. He knows what he's doing. I'm sure he'll be back with Josef before long."

She continued walking back and forth over the same area as if constant movement was the only way to keep the terrifying thoughts and images from taking over her mind. "What's taking so long? He's been gone for hours." She placed her hand on her forehead and brushed the hair out of her face as she tried to think about whether she missed anything herself.

Ever since Sully left, Dorothy watched as Michaela's worry and agitation escalated with every passing hour. "Michaela, let's sit down. It's not helping anyone, least of all you, to get so worked up."

"Worked up!" She jolted around to face Dorothy, hands on hips. "My son is out there somewhere, lost and alone," she retorted, her hand gesturing in the direction of the surrounding woods. Looking toward the woods, all she could think about were the multitude of things that could go wrong. Michaela lowered her voice as her emotions shifted from frustration to fear. "He's probably scared to death. Honestly Dorothy, I can't think of one good reason why I should remain calm." She took a seat by the campfire, her body trembling and rocking back and forth, while her mind conjured up all the potential dangers in the woods and by the stream. Then she sprang to her feet, facing her friend. "I should go back out and search for him."

"Michaela," Dorothy began in a firm tone, "No good can come from you traipsing out there on your own. You told Sully where you saw Josef's tracks. It's best to leave it to him."

"They…they ended at the water," she reminded her, in a shaky voice.

Dorothy stepped in front of her, placed a gentle hand on Michaela's shoulder, and looked her in the eye. "Listen to me," she demanded. "If Sully didn't find more tracks, he'd be back by now. It's a good sign he's still out there."

"You think so?" Michaela stared straight ahead as tears welled in her eyes.

"I know so. And you know as well as I do that Sully won't quit until he finds that boy. He's as distraught by all this as you are." Dorothy moved her hand to Michaela's back, nudging her over to the children's tent. "Let's sit down and have a cool drink."

Michaela complied grudgingly. "I'm glad Brian decided to distract Katie by taking her to look for birds. It was difficult managing their anxiety along with mine." She sat in front of the tent with her eyes fixed in the direction of the stream.

"He's a good older brother." Dorothy handed her a glass of lemonade.

Michaela continued to gaze out at nothing, ignoring the glass. "He is," she softly replied, as she reached for one of Josef's shirt's that had been lying near the opening of the tent. "Dorothy I don't know what I'll do if Sully doesn't find him." She ran her hands over the shirt, absently rolling it into a ball then undoing it. "I remember the crushing pain when we thought Katie was dead. I don't think I could go through losing a child."

"Don't go thinking like that. Sully'll find him. You have to believe that. You have to."

"What I don't understand is why Josef left the campsite. Why?" She stared down at the tiny shirt clutched between her fingers. "Josef's never done anything like this before."

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Maybe he went exploring a little ways and didn't realize how far he'd gone until he couldn't find his way back. That's boys for you."

"Sully's always taking him into the woods and teaching him skills he'll need to survive by himself."

"That's good. He's probably relying on those very skills right now," Dorothy reassured.

"Sometimes…," Michaela began, but then grew quiet.

"What is it Michaela?"

"I don't know." The hours of fear and worry had drained her strength and now she was at the bottom of her own resources. "Sometimes I wish Sully wouldn't fill his head with so many ideas."

"You're not blaming Sully for Josef getting lost are you?"

"No, of course not," she replied, not fully convinced of the truth of her words. "But…but he didn't get the idea that he could survive alone in the woods from me."

"Who knows where kids get half the ideas they come up with. What's important is that you don't blame yourself or Sully for this. All children make mistakes. It's how they learn and grow. When they're Josef's age, they believe nothing can harm them. Why I remember when Tommy was about seven, he got it in his head to make me breakfast for my birthday." She laughed at the memory. "He nearly burned the house down. Now, was it my fault that he got the idea to cook from seeing me in the kitchen?"

"No, but this mistake may cost Josef his life." She paused, shaken by the enormity of the words she had just spoken. "Dorothy, this trip isn't going well. First Wolf…now Josef." Michaela's eyes were blank with shock and fear as she stared at the path Sully had taken to the stream, as if by staring at it long enough, she could will her husband and her son back to her safe and sound.

* * *

"Look Katie!" Brian called. "There's a mountain bluebird in that tree."

Katie didn't appear to hear him as she continued to walk in a straight line with her body rigid and her eyes fixed on the ground.

"Katie!" Brian called to her again. He was frustrated that his attempt to distract her was failing.

Startled, she turned at the sound of her name. "Huh?"

"I said there's a mountain bluebird in that tree," he repeated, pointing in the direction of a large pine tree.

"Where?" Katie looked up, giving little concern about whether she was looking where Brian was pointing. "I don't see it."

"C'mon Katie, you're not paying attention. Over there." He pointed to a tree to the right of them. Brian hadn't meant to sound irritated with his sister. It seemed his own tension and unease over Josef's disappearance was taking a toll. So as not to add to Katie's burden, he took a deep breath, softened his voice, and tried again to interest her in the birds. "He's perched on that branch above the large pine cones. We haven't seen a mountain bluebird yet. Most of the birds we've seen have been blue jays and chickadees."

Katie finally turned toward the tree her brother had indicated with a glimmer of interest. "How do you know he's a he?"

"Because he's bright blue. The male birds always have the brightest colors. Do you see him now?"

Katie shielded her eyes from the sun. "I think so."

"He's real pretty isn't he?" Brian was trying to engage her in the bird, in anything, anything other than what was on both of their minds - the safety of their little brother.

"Yeah, he is," she replied with far less enthusiasm than usual. "I don't wanna do this anymore."

"You love bird watching."

"Not now." She released a small sigh.

Brian wished there was something he could do to lessen Katie's worry. Since they discovered Josef missing, his sister hadn't been herself. Usually, she loved looking for birds in the woods and would compete with Brian over who could identify the most kinds. Whenever they spent time together, she never ceased to amaze him with all the questions she asked. They tumbled out of her, each one following the others, like waves. He thought going bird watching could help take her mind off their brother, but not even her favorite activity could distract her this afternoon.

"Let's sit down and eat something," Brian suggested. He made his way over to sit under a tree, seeking shade from the afternoon sun.

"I'm not hungry." Katie felt badly she was ruining their time together. It wasn't as if she was doing it on purpose. She just didn't want to look for birds. She didn't want to do anything. Usually, she enjoyed spending time with Brian, but not today. Today, she wished she could have remained in camp with her mother waiting for her father to return with Josef.

Brian needed to keep Katie out longer to give his father more time to find Josef. He also wanted to give his mother time to herself, time for her to feel her fear without having to put up a brave front for Katie, or even him. "Katie, let's sit anyway."

"I wanna go back," she said, in a demanding tone.

"We're not goin' back right now, so please sit down." His tone matched hers.

Katie stared at him defiantly for several long moments willing him to bring her back. Once it was clear Brian wasn't backing down, she reluctantly sat down on the ground next to him.

Brian put his arm around her shoulder. "Joey's gonna be all right, Katie."

Pools of tears filled her eyes. "How…how do you know?"

"Because Pa'll find him."

Katie leaned into him for comfort. "What makes you so sure?"

"He finds everyone. He found me when I ran away, he found you when those bad men took you, and he found Caleb, the statehood man's son. You remember the story Ma told you about that, right?"

She gave her answer with a halfhearted nod.

"Pa's not gonna let anything happen to Joey."

Katie pulled back slightly to look up at him, her interest piqued by something he said. "You ran away?"

"That was a long time ago," Brian replied, unsure whether this story would help her or add to her worries.

"Why did you run away?"

"The first time I ran away, I was even younger than Joey. My first ma had just died and we went to live with Dr. Mike. I got in trouble for breaking one of Mr. Bray's candy jars."

"Uh oh, was he mad?"

Brian smiled at the memory. "Yeah, he was mad. Ma made me clean up the mess. After that, I got so mad at her that I ran away to live with the Cheyenne. But I got lost. Then I fell and broke my leg. Wolf led Ma and Pa to me and Ma fixed my leg."

Katie picked up a twig and began to draw circles in the dirt. "Do you think Joey ran away?"

Brian shrugged. "Dunno. Can't see why he would. He wasn't upset with anyone. Was he?"

"He was real upset about Wolf."

"Katie, I don't see why he'd run away over Wolf. Maybe he got up before any of us and went exploring in the woods. He might have wandered too far and not known how to get back."

"I bet he's scared out there all alone. And, now, we don't have Wolf to find him."

"Probably, but Pa's gonna find him."

"I'm scared, too."

"I know you are. By the time we get back, Joey will be in the campsite."

Katie's eyes seemed a little brighter than they were earlier. "You really think so?"

"Yeah, I do." Brian reached over and gave Katie a hug, hoping more than anything he was right.

* * *

Sully wasn't sure if he really heard what he thought he heard. Had this Indian just mentioned his son? Was "the boy" he referred to really Josef? He wondered if his all consuming worry over his lost child had caused him to hear words that hadn't been spoken. But, the tumbling of his heartbeat against his chest, and the fine sheen of perspiration coating his brow, erased any doubts he may have had. So did the serious expression on the Indian's face as he stood straight and tall in front of him, waiting for a reaction.

Sully told him he was looking for his son, gave him a brief description, and asked if he'd seen him. Without uttering a word, the Indian turned around and walked away. After hesitating for a brief moment, Sully followed him. This stranger knew something and Sully was determined to find out what. He quickened his pace to catch up and then fell into step beside him, matching the Indian stride for stride.

Sully followed the quiet, focused man through the woods while engaged in a one-sided conversation. When his repeated attempts to learn what the Indian knew about his son failed, Sully decided the best course of action was to remain silent and not provoke the only person who may know Josef's whereabouts.

He studied the Indian with rapt attention, mentally organizing each and every detail, trying to better gauge the situation. He noticed that his buckskins were faded and frayed at the edges and his moccasins showed signs of hard travel. Several prominent scars lined his broad, muscular chest. Clearly at home in the woods, the stranger's steps were even and resolute as he brushed past the sharp, jagged edges of low hanging branches as if they were feathers. A slight tension in his body, probably caused by Sully's presence, cracked his otherwise firm demeanor.

Many conflicting thoughts collided in Sully's mind. He wondered if the Indian had taken Josef or if he had merely found him. He wondered if they both were now in danger. His emotions vacillated between exhilaration at the prospect of finding Josef unharmed and dread that he was being lured into a trap. He took it as a good sign that the Indian didn't try to disarm him by removing his tomahawk. Unless other members of his band were hidden from view, waiting to attack, he could defend himself, if necessary.

As they emerged from the woods, Sully entered a campsite much like his own. It had a tent, bedrolls, and supplies. Taking in his surroundings, it was obvious more than one person was camped here. His eyes scanned the grounds for any sign of Josef. Seeing none, his anxiety reached a fever pitch. Still the Indian said nothing as he continued walking.

Having reached a breaking point, Sully reached out with one hand braced on his tomahawk and placed his other hand on the Indian's shoulder. He turned him around to face him, his face inches from his. "I've had enough! Tell me what ya know 'bout my son?"

The Indian stared at Sully with dark, intense eyes then he let his eyes drift toward the tent. Sully's eyes followed, feeling a sliver of hope rise within him. He let go of the Indian and watched as he moved toward the tent to lift the flap. Out walked Josef.

"Papa!" Josef ran toward his father, almost tripping over his feet in his excitement to reach him.

Sully dropped to one knee and pulled the boy hard to his chest. When he felt his son's body press into his and his small arms wrapped around his neck, tears pooled in his eyes. Josef held his father tighter than even Sully held him. "I'm here Joe. You're safe now." Sully closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and glanced toward the sky in silent prayer. "You're safe," he repeated.

Josef pulled back slightly to look at his father, tears of relief streaking his face. "I got lost."

Sully ran his hands over Josef's head, down to his shoulders, and over his arms to determine if he was hurt. "You had your ma an' me real worried." Over the top of Josef's head he could see the Indian standing off to the side watching their reunion. Sully lifted Josef into his arms, stood and took several deep breaths to steady his emotions before walking toward him.

"How did he get here?" Sully asked in a level tone, still wary about the details of how his son came to be in this man's camp.

The Indian crossed his arms at his chest, bristling at the distrust he heard coming from the man whose son he had just rescued. Then he eyed his buckskin clothes, beads, medicine pouch, and tomahawk. Life had taught him that white men were not to be trusted especially ones who pretended to adopt the ways of his grandfathers only to deliver betrayal in the end.

The silence had stretched out so long that Sully had almost given up on getting an answer when the Indian began to speak.

"I came upon him asleep in the woods. I brought him here for safekeeping." His tone was curt from the resentment of having to defend himself.

Sully was surprised he spoke English so well. "Where did you find him?" He asked, now only out of curiosity. Josef was safe and that was all that mattered. And the stranger had helped both of them. He owed him.

"I found him asleep under a spruce tree."

"I followed his tracks ta that tree," Sully said, finally understanding why they had stopped so abruptly. Thank you." He held out his hand. The Indian stared down at Sully's outstretched hand for a moment then held out a big hand for a brief, uncomfortable handshake. "Thank you," Sully repeated. "I can't thank ya enough for helpin' me get 'im back." Sully paused, unsure about how much more to say. "I'm Sully. My family's camped just over that ridge. Josef wandered off this mornin' and his ma and me have been sick with worry."

"You should take the boy back to your camp before the light is gone from the sky."

"What tribe are ya from?" The Indian wore ornamented moccasins in the pattern of the Cheyenne, but his beads were not Cheyenne.

"It no longer matters what tribe I'm from," he replied. With those words, he walked away, making it clear it was time for the stranger to leave.

Sully studied the Indian, but could offer no response. There was something about him that made Sully uneasy, but he brushed it aside. After all the tribes had been through over the past decade, and even longer, it was natural for them to be guarded toward strangers, especially white strangers. Sully surmised that his family had probably fled the poor conditions of a reservation. If that was the case, he wondered how long they expected to live out here before the Army rounded them up and sent them back.

As soon as Sully started to leave with Josef, he heard the sound of a baby crying. He turned around and noticed a striking woman step out of the tent. She had hair like a raven's wing, dark eyes like coal, and her skin was the glossy color of honey. She began to walk back and forth in front of the tent attempting to calm a screaming baby. By the sound of the infant's plaintive cries, Sully thought he was ill. He wanted to do something to help, but he knew his presence was making the couple uncomfortable. He hesitated a few extra moments then turned to leave again. The baby's cries grew louder and Sully turned again, alarmed by the baby's red pallor. He walked Josef a short distance away and told him to wait while he went over to speak with the couple. The little boy reluctantly let go of his father's hand reassured that he could still see him from where he stood.

"I don't mean ta pry, but your baby seems sick. My wife's a doctor. I know she could help," he offered. "I owe ya for finding my son."

The Indian met Sully's eye. "No, thank you. We have all we need here to care for him. He will be fine," he replied. "You must go. It is almost dark."

The Indian woman met Sully's eyes, finding an unexpected comfort in them.

Sully wanted to do something for the infant, but it was clear he was no longer welcome in their camp. "We're just over the ridge by the stream if you change your mind."

The Indian offered no response as he tended to his wife and child. Sully hesitated then turned away and returned to Josef's side.

"Papa, I wanna see Mama," Josef said, tugging on his father's shirt.

"I'm gonna get ya back to your ma real soon." He lingered a moment longer, his eyes focused on the baby. Realizing there was nothing more he could do, he hoisted Josef onto his shoulders and headed back to their camp.

* * *

Michaela tossed the carrots into the biscuit batter instead of the stew. Just a few minutes ago she had placed the stew over the fire without lighting the wood. She had thought cooking might help her to keep busy, but she couldn't concentrate on anything except the whereabouts of her son who was lost somewhere in the woods. Every few minutes, she paused to gaze in the direction of the stream expecting to see Sully returning with Josef. And each time, when she didn't see him, her heart sank with disappointment.

Ever since Brian and Katie returned from bird watching upset that Josef still hadn't been found, she tried even harder to submerge her fears deep inside so as not to worry them any further. Despite her best efforts, they remained close to the surface, ready to spill over at the slightest provocation. Sully had been gone too long. Josef could never have walked as far as Sully must have gone by now. To her, that only meant one thing. He couldn't find their son. Knowing her husband as she did, Michaela knew he wouldn't quit. But, as the time went from minutes to hours, she began to conclude that it could only mean one thing. Sully had gone further away to find him and was not following a well-defined trail.

She glanced toward the mountains in the distance, dark against the pale pink of the evening sky and drew in a deep breath, willing herself to find the strength she knew she would need to endure what the next several hours might bring.

Michaela stirred the stew with unfocused attention when Josef's voice crept into her consciousness. "Mama," she thought she heard.

"Mama," Josef yelled, as he rushed toward her.

Michaela's head snapped up. She saw her son running in her direction with Sully following close behind, a look of intense relief in his eyes. The tension she had held tight inside all day melted away like an icicle on a warm spring day. "Oh, Josef. Thank God." In two long strides, she closed the distance between them and brought him into her arms, hugging him close.

"Mama," he said, clinging to his mother's neck, relieved to be back in the safety of her arms.

Michaela held on tight, as if letting go might cause him to disappear again. "Let me look at you. Are you all right?" She felt his head and ran her hands down his arms and back to make sure he wasn't injured.

Josef squirmed, having already been through this inspection by his father. "Mama. I'm not hurt."

After giving Michaela time to assess Josef's physical condition, Brian, Katie and Dorothy gathered around to welcome him back.

Katie hugged her brother. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me, too," Josef said.

"Hey, little brother, you gave us quite a scare," Brian said, wrapping his arms around him.

"I didn't mean ta get lost," the little boy told them.

"I know you didn't," Brian reassured, patting him on the head.

Reluctant to leave her son's side, Michaela eventually moved to approach her husband. "Oh, Sully! Thank you!"

A breeze tossed a tendril of hair across her face, and Sully reached out and brushed it away. He enfolded her in his arms and held her tight for a few moments, both of them reveling in the relief of having their son back safe and sound. "It wasn't me who found 'im."

His words took her by surprise and she pulled back slightly to look up at him. "What do you mean?"

"I followed his tracks to a tree, but they stopped at the base. I started walkin', followin' some bent grass, but no real trail, when I ran into an Indian. He led me ta Josef."

"An Indian?" Michaela replied, as they both returned to Josef's side. She picked him up, holding him close as she listened to the rest of the story.

Sully nodded. "It seems Joe fell asleep by the tree. The Indian found 'im an' took 'im back to his camp for safekeepin'."

"I sat by the tree to wait for you," Josef explained, resting his head on his mother's shoulder. "I didn't know how to get back. You taught me that when you can't find your way, it's best to stay put. I knew you'd find me if I didn't move."

Michaela glanced at her husband realizing that the lessons he taught their son had helped keep him safe.

"Good thinkin'," Sully said, pride evident in his voice. He turned back to Michaela. "It was luck I ran into 'im out huntin' for his supper."

"Just like when Cloud Dancin' found you when you were lost, an Indian found me," Josef said, pleased by this new connection to his father.

"We were both real lucky," Sully said, kissing the top of his head.

"What's an Indian doing way out here by himself?" Dorothy asked.

"Was he Cheyenne?" Brian questioned.

Sully shrugged his shoulders. "Not sure. But he wasn't alone. He has a family. They have a baby who seemed sick. I told 'em you were a doctor, but they wanted ta be left alone. I imagine they're not trustin' of white folks after all that's happened."

"Sully, if their baby's sick we should help them, especially after what they did for Josef. We should go there." Michaela put her son down and turned to get her bag.

Sully grasped her arm to still her. "Michaela, they don't want nothin' from us. I told 'em where we are if they need us. Leave it be."

After a moment's hesitation, she nodded and turned her attention back to her son. "Young man, we need to have a serious conversation about why you wandered off this morning."

Josef looked down at his feet, dreading the inevitable discussion with his parents.

Sensing that his son didn't want an audience, Sully placed his hand on his back and guided him away from the others. He held out his hand for Michaela to join them. Over his shoulder he caught Brian's eye. "Will ya watch things here while we talk ta Joe?"

"Sure," Brian replied.

The three of them sat beside a large fir tree and Sully began. "Joe, we need ta know why ya went off this mornin'."

The little boy stared at the grass fingering a blade with his finger. "I…I didn't mean to get lost."

"We know that sweetheart," Michaela soothed. "But why did you wander off on your own?"

"I was gonna be back by lunch," Josef explained.

"Where were you goin'?" Sully asked.

"To Wolf's grave."

"Wolf's grave!" Michaela raised her voice. "That's much too far to walk. Whatever possessed…"

"Michaela…." Sully cut her off with a stern eye.

Catching his glare, she stopped, knowing he was right. Yelling at Josef wouldn't help matters.

Sully placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why were ya goin' there, son?"

Josef's eyes clouded with tears. "I wanted him to know…to know I'm sorry…I'm sorry he's dead."

"He knows that, Joe," Sully said, swallowing hard.

"He knows how much we all loved him," his mother soothed, smoothing his hair.

Josef shook his head. "It's my fault."

"Sweetheart, it's not your fault," Michaela comforted. "What happened was an accident. It's no one's fault."

But Josef knew it _was_ his fault. "I didn't say goodbye to him," he choked out, before he broke down sobbing into his father's shirt.

"Shh… it's all right." Sully rubbed his back. "It's gonna be all right."

"Wolf knew how much you loved him sweetheart," Michaela reassured. "I know from the wagon it didn't seem far to walk, but even if you knew the way, Wolf's grave was too far to walk."

"I…I thought…I…could do…it," he stuttered.

"Your ma's right, Joe. It was too far ta walk. I need ya ta promise me you won't do anything like this again. If you wanted ta go back ta the grave, you needed ta tell us. We can stop on the way home."

"We can?" Josef's spirits lifted slightly.

"'Course we can. Now promise your ma an' me that you won't go off on your own again," Sully repeated.

"I promise." Josef hesitated for a moment. "Are you gonna punish me?"

Michaela and Sully looked at each other, their eyes conveying the same answer. "No sweetheart," his mother began. "We hope you learned your lesson. We trust you won't go off on anymore adventures on your own."

"I won't," Josef affirmed. He felt a mixture of relief and disappointment at not being punished. He thought he deserved to be punished for causing Wolf's death. Maybe if he were punished, he wouldn't still feel so awful inside.

"But, we will take away all your privileges if you do anythin' like this again. Understand?" Sully added.

Josef nodded.

Michaela abruptly stood, smoothing her skirt. "We'll be heading for home in the morning. "We can stop at Wolf's grave tomorrow."

Michaela's words hit Sully like a rock to his gut. "What?" he said in disbelief. He rose to his feet and lowered his voice. "We're not goin' home tomorrow."

Michaela quieted her voice for the sake of her son. "Sully, you can't very well expect to continue with this trip after what's happened. Wolf's dead…" she paused to look back at Josef before continuing, "and we very nearly lost Josef today."

"That's exactly what we're gonna do." His voice was tight with barely controlled anger.

"I'm not. I'm going home. And the children are coming with me."

Sully took a deep breath. "Michaela, any o' these things could've happened at home. Josef's fine. He won't run off again. Everythin's fine now. We decided together ta go on this trip ta see Cloud Dancin'. Turnin' back now ain't the answer."

"Is seeing Cloud Dancing more important than the safety of your family?" she lashed out, forgetting to watch her tone. The emotions of the day were spilling forth without consideration of the weight of her words.

Josef flinched at the angry words being hurled between his parents.

"You know better than that," Sully barked, barely able to contain his temper from the toll this day had taken on his emotions. Then he noticed the fear in Josef's eyes as he watched his parent's quarrel. He lowered his voice. "Let's talk about this later."

"There's nothing more to talk about. We're going home in the morning." Michaela brushed past her husband then turned back toward her son. "Come along, Josef." Josef remained fixed in place then reached for his father's hand. Feeling outnumbered, Michaela spun back around and stormed off.

_To Be Continued…_


	8. Chapter 8

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Eight **

"Are we really going home?" Josef asked his father, unsure whether he felt good or bad about that prospect. If they were going home in the morning, then he could finish what he started with Wolf by returning to the grave. But, he also knew it would be his fault if his parents abandoned the trip. That thought made him feel even worse. It seemed that everything he did to make things right only caused more trouble. He wanted to make amends with Wolf, but instead he got lost. That frightened his mother, and now, in his mind, his parents were angry with each other because of him. A weight settled on his shoulders. It seemed to him that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do anything right.

Sully stared at Michaela as she busied herself with chores around the campsite, chores that didn't need to be done. As he watched her hectic movements, he was trying to answer the very same question his son had just asked him. After some hesitation he answered, "I'm not sure."

"It's all my fault," Josef said, his eyes watering.

Sully sat down and brought Josef onto his lap. "No, it isn't."

"We're goin' home 'cause of me," he said, his voice shaking.

Sully cradled him in his arms, rocking him back and forth. "Joe, your ma got scared, is all. We just gotta give her some time ta calm down and see that you're all right," he said, hoping that was all it was.

"Then we're not goin' home?" Josef asked.

Sully hugged him and rested his chin on the top of his son's head as his eyes focused on Michaela. "I hope not. But, either way, we'll stop at Wolf's grave."

A clanging sound from the center of the campsite caused them to stop and turn their heads. The cooking supplies Michaela had just packed had toppled over and she was methodically gathering them back together with tense, rigid movements.

Josef returned his eyes to his father. "Are you mad at Mama?"

Sully swallowed to dampen his dry throat. "No, I'm not mad at her," pausing to figure out how to explain their argument to a child. "Joe, your ma and me don't always agree 'bout things…like goin' home for one, but that don't mean we don't love each other. We'll figure somethin' out. Don't you worry 'bout it. It's the same with you and all the kids. There's nothin' any of you could do ta make us stop lovin' ya. You know that don't ya?" Sully felt that reminding him of his unconditional love might encourage him to open up.

Josef sat quietly. _Would Papa still love me if he knew what really happened with Wolf? _

"Joe, ya wanna tell me why it was so important ta go back to Wolf's grave?" Sully studied the boy to gauge his reaction.

Josef's body became stiff and rigid. "I...I told you. I didn't want him to be mad at me."

"Why would Wolf be mad at you?"

Josef didn't know where to put his hands. He fingered his shoelaces then wiped his hands on his pants. "I didn't…I didn't say nothin' at his grave."

Sully observed him carefully. He could tell Josef was growing more uncomfortable. If he wasn't certain before, he knew now that his son was hiding something. "You sure there's nothin' else?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Disappointed, Sully let the silence stretch out for several long moments. He didn't know whether he should question Josef anymore. After all, he had been through a lot today. At the same time, the events leading to Wolf's death had been gnawing at him and he couldn't let it go. He needed to know what happened. Tenderly, he placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Joe, when I followed Wolf's tracks ta the cougar den, I thought I saw other tracks." Sully finally uttered the words he had been holding onto since the day Wolf died. He paused to let his words sink in.

Josef edged away from him ever so slightly, but enough to register with his father. "Another animal?"

"No, they were human tracks…smaller than an adult."

Josef felt like he was suffocating. His father had seen his tracks. His hands felt damp and clammy and his heart was pounding in his chest. Wiping his hands on his pants, he wondered, _does he already know they were my tracks or is he trying to figure out whose they were?_ "Maybe…maybe they were…Indians."

Sully spoke slowly with measured words. He didn't want to frighten him. "No. The Indians know how ta cover their tracks. 'Sides, this person wore shoes, not moccasins. Do ya know how those other tracks got there?"

Josef held his breath, feeling suspended in time. His eyes searched the perimeter of the campground as if there was an answer right in front of him, besides the truth, that could satisfy his father.

Sully waited, hoping he would tell him the truth. Josef's reaction alone confirmed his suspicion that the boy had been with Wolf. But he still didn't know what happened. "Joe?"

"How…how would I know?" he stammered.

Sully felt profound disappointment. Josef had never avoided talking to him before and as far as he knew he had never hidden the truth from him. It occurred to him that his timing may have been off. For now he would let it go. He would take the time to figure out a way to convince Josef to tell him what really happened. "Joe, ya know that there's nothin' you can't tell me."

Josef squirmed out of his lap. "I…I don't got nothing to…to tell," he said, dashing away from his father like he had been shot out of a cannon. His fidgeting and stuttering speech told Sully that his son indeed had something to tell him, something that weighed heavy on his mind.

Sully watched his son run back toward the tent he shared with his sister. It was clear now that Josef was keeping a secret about what happened with Wolf. He was reasonably certain the two of them were together at the cougar den, but he still didn't know how or why they went there and what really happened with Wolf. The only explanation Sully could come up with for Josef's behavior was that his son felt responsible for Wolf's death. And that was too big a burden for a little boy to carry. He needed to persuade Josef to talk about what happened. But, now might not be the right time. It was enough that his son knew he had seen his tracks. Sully would let him mull that over for a day or so, believing he would come to him when he was ready.

"What's wrong with him?" Brian had noticed his brother race away as if on fire.

"He's been through a lot today. He'll be all right," Sully answered with more hope than knowledge.

"You want me to talk to him?" Brian asked.

"Maybe later. Let's leave 'im be today." Sully rose to his feet and started to walk back toward the center of the campsite.

"Ma says we're goin' home," Brian announced.

"I know."

"You gotta talk her out of it. No one but her wants to go home."

Sully stopped in place to face his son. "Brian, ya know as well as I do when your ma's got her mind made up 'bout somethin', there's no changin' it."

"You gotta try!" he implored. "It's not fair that she's gonna ruin the trip for everyone."

Sully sighed. "We've all be through a lot these past two days. Let's leave it be 'til mornin'. We'll decide then."

"If she goes back, I'm going on with you."

"Brian, I don't know what I'm gonna do yet." In truth, Sully had no idea what he was going to do. He didn't want to visit Cloud Dancing alone. More than anything, he wanted his family along. Sharing the Cheyenne with his family had been one of the main purposes of this trip.

* * *

Supper that evening was a silent affair. The only sound was metal forks scraping against tin plates. Michaela and Sully hadn't exchanged a word or even a glance with each other all evening as the tension simmered between them. Josef ate his supper without talking, afraid that a wrong word or stray comment would start his father asking questions about the tracks again.

Always quick to perceive the mood of his surroundings, Brian sensed that the rift between his parents hadn't eased. If anything, it had grown wider. In the time before supper, he noticed the absence of their usual tenderness, coupled with barely disguised sarcastic mutterings that he only ever heard when one or both were harboring resentment toward the other. He knew his mother was upset about Josef's disappearance, but he hoped she would reconsider abandoning the trip. Though he was reluctant to come along at first, Brian was now looking forward to visiting the reservation. Being out in the woods, with the opportunity to reflect upon what Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne had meant to him growing up, made him eager to see him and his people again.

Dorothy, too, ate her supper without uttering a word. She didn't want to risk being drawn into taking sides in their argument. Truth be told, while she understood Michaela's fears, she wanted to continue with the trip. She had come this far, wrestled with her own demons, and now was looking forward to seeing Cloud Dancing again. After all, it was Michaela who had talked her into coming along and now that they might turn back, she was surprised by the sense of disappointment she felt. She was ready to see Cloud Dancing again, ready to resume their friendship.

Katie finally broke the deafening silence. She was happy her brother had come back unharmed, and in her relief, she hadn't registered the discord between her parents. Toward the end of the meal, she began peppering Josef with questions about his adventure, for now that he was back safe and sound, that's what Katie decided it was: an adventure.

At first he tried to deflect the questions to avoid falling under his father's scrutiny, but eventually he told her about following the rocks in the stream, realizing he was lost, and falling asleep under a tree. Then he told her about waking up at the Indian camp. As Josef relayed his story, Sully listened intently for any clues about the Indian family. In taking it all in, Michaela had to admit that Josef had shown good judgment in how he crossed the stream and remained by the tree waiting to be found.

"Were you scared of them?" Katie asked, taking another bite of food.

Josef shook his head. "They were real nice." Then he scooted closer to his sister and lowered his voice. "They didn't seem bad, Katie. They were just like us," he said, as if he was expecting something different.

Katie narrowed her eyes. "I know they're not bad. How are they like us?"

"They have a mama and a papa and two kids, just like us," Josef told her. He was squirming in his seat with restless energy.

"Two kids! Did you play with them?"

"No, I just wanted to get back here. 'Sides, one was just a little baby. The other boy was bigger than me. He seemed nice," Josef explained.

"You really weren't scared at all?" Katie crossed her arms at her chest, skeptical of her brother.

"I…I guess I was a little scared when I first woke up," he admitted, as he wiggled to find a more comfortable position on the ground. "I didn't know what they were gonna do to me. The papa seemed mean and he had these long knives and a tomahawk, just like our papa. The lady kept tellin' me they were gonna try to get me back to Mama," Josef said, moving his arms around as he talked. "But I was real scared Papa wouldn't find me there."

"If you didn't play, what did you do there?"

"Nothin'."

Katie climbed on her knees leaning closer to him. "You must have done something."

"Uh…I sat in a tent. I…uh…listened to a story…and…and oh…I know…they gave me a blanket and…and food."

Katie brought her hand to her mouth. "Eww…did it taste yucky?"

"No! I liked it," Josef said. "Oh… Katie," he added, waving his arm up and down. "Katie, they spoke Indian to each other."

Brian chuckled at this exchange. "Joey, Indian's not a language. Did they speak Cheyenne?"

Josef shrugged his shoulders. "How should I know? I don't know Cheyenne."

"I'm learning," Katie said proudly. "Listen…navese'e. It means my friend."

"That's real good Katie," Brian said with a pleased grin.

"Teach me!" Josef asked. His body bounced up and down in his seat. "Teach me!"

"Mama, let's not go home," Katie pleaded. "I wanna try to speak Cheyenne at the reservation. Please."

"Yeah! And hear stories," Josef added.

"Katie, you're learning well. You and your father should keep practicing," Michaela replied, forcing a weak smile.

Throughout the animated chatter of his children, Sully finished his supper in silence. He continued to stew over Michaela's unilateral decision to return home, uncertain about how to change her mind. He was equally disturbed by Josef's refusal to tell him the truth about what had happened in the woods with Wolf. Hearing his son describe his brief experience with the Indians only reinforced the importance of making this trip. His mind was reeling and he needed time to think. After he swallowed his last mouthful of food, he set his plate aside and rose to his feet.

"I'm goin' for a walk," Sully said. His tone of voice told anyone who heard that he needed time alone.

Michaela watched him leave, pained that she was hurting him so, but resolute in her decision. It frustrated her that Sully had made no attempt to understand her position.

After supper, Michaela kept busy by washing the tin plates and cups and cleaning up the campsite, hardly exchanging a word with anyone. Brian retired early hoping that by leaving her alone, he would make it easier for Sully to convince her to change her mind, when he returned. Katie and Josef sat outside their tent playing checkers.

Dorothy grabbed a cloth and began helping Michaela dry the dishes. After a few moments, she decided to share what was on her mind. "Michaela, I know how frightened you were by Josef's disappearance, but I don't think we should go home."

Michaela clutched a plate tightly in her hands. "Dorothy, I can't spend one more day out here. First Wolf, then Josef…I'm terrified about what's going to happen next."

"You can't think like that." Dorothy moved a few steps closer. "Michaela, you talked me into going on this trip. You got me to face my fears and rise above them for the sake of my friendship with Cloud Dancing. Now, I want you to do the same thing. We're not gonna have a lot of other opportunities to visit the reservation all together. Nothing else bad is going to happen."

"You don't know that."

"No, but it's not likely. I'm asking you to think of all of us and try to get past your fears."

Michaela turned away, her back to her friend. "I'm sorry Dorothy, but I can't. I want to go home."

"Well, what if none of us will go with you? Are you just going to pack up Katie and Josef and head back alone?"

"If I have to."

"Why are you always so stubborn? Do you think turning back on your own will be safer than all of us traveling together? Michaela, you're not being rational."

She spun around to face her again. "I'm sorry you're upset with me, Dorothy. I truly am. But I'm not feeling very rational right now. Excuse me," she said, as she headed toward the children's tent.

Michaela put the children to bed and lingered a few moments longer in the tent, taking comfort in their slow and even breathing as they drifted off to sleep, relieved they were both safe. She remained in the peace and quiet of the tent a while longer, trying to shut out the day. For the first time in hours, no one was questioning her decision to return home. Gazing down at her sleeping children, she thought about how much she and Sully wanted them to meet and know more about the Cheyenne. Even the children seemed excited about learning more about the Indians. Perhaps she was overreacting. When she considered all the unknown dangers ahead of them, her chest tightened and her hands became moist. Her fear came from someplace deep inside her where logic and reason had no influence. She wanted to go home. But, before they left, she also wanted to heal the rift with Sully. She needed to talk with him and try to make him understand.

When she left the tent, she sat by the fire sipping a cup of tea as she waited for Sully to return. After such an emotional day, she needed his strength and reassurance. She hoped to make him understand that this wasn't an easy decision for her. More than anything, she hoped they could avoid going to sleep upset with one another.

Sully returned to the campsite a few hours later, expecting to find everyone asleep. Having reached no decision about what he was going to do in the morning, he walked toward the fire to continue thinking. He paused in his steps when he noticed the silhouette of his wife illuminated by the light from the flames in the fire. He drew in his breath and slowly walked toward her, taking a seat on the hard ground a safe distance apart. The silence between them stretched out like a long tunnel.

"Did you come to a decision?" Michaela asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Did you?" Sully responded.

"Sully, I wish I could agree to go on for you, but I can't. I'm sorry. I know how much this trip means to you," she said, in a thin and apologetic voice.

"No. I don't think you do," he replied, barely audible.

His accusation stung and Michaela considered her next words carefully. "You should go on without us. We'll find our way home."

Sully shifted slightly to face her. "I don't wanna go on without you. We planned this trip for a long time, Michaela. We wanted ta see Cloud Dancin' an' the Cheyenne as a family. We wanted to help Katie and Josef learn about who they are." He was pleading his case again, his voice rising with his emotions. "Any of this could've happened in Colorado Springs. Brian ran away a few times when he was younger. That happened right at home. And Katie was taken right out of our own house."

"Sully, I don't feel safe out here. Too much has happened," she said, unable to meet his eyes.

"Bad things happen, Michaela. It don't matter where ya are."

"But, I can protect the children better at home," she replied, firm in her resolve.

"The kids are fine," he answered with irritation. "Joe used what I taught 'im. He followed the stream, he left tracks, and when he knew he was lost, he stayed put so we could find 'im."

"He wouldn't have left in the first place if you hadn't made him think he could find his way in the woods," she answered, a sharp edge to her voice.

"So now this is my fault?" He raised his voice.

"I'm not saying that," she replied, her voice rising to match his.

"You just did," he retorted, looking away from her.

Michaela sighed and took several deep breaths. "Sully, I'm not blaming you, but Josef is impressionable and he wants to be just like you. He's going to think he can do things he's not ready for."

"Michaela, Josef made a mistake. Everyone does. And he learned his lesson. Gettin' lost scared him real bad. I don't think he'll do anythin' like that again. But I want him ta learn how to find his way and hunt for his own food. It'll make a man of him."

"Sully, he's not a man. He's a seven year old boy."

"Who wants ta learn 'bout huntin', trappin an' followin' tracks. And I'm gonna teach 'im."

Michaela reached out to touch his arm. "I want you to teach him, but perhaps we can wait a few more years."

Sully found no comfort in her touch. "There's no reason ta wait," he said, before growing quiet for a time. He turned his gaze back to her. "Michaela, everythin' turned out all right with Matthew, Colleen and Brian."

"Yes, it did," she said in a soft voice. Then she sighed.

Sully believed he was getting through to her. "Will ya reconsider goin' home?"

"I can't." Her voice cracked and she covered her face with her hands to hide the tears of frustration threatening at the corner of her eyes.

Sully bolted up and stormed several paces away from her. Michaela sighed again, equally annoyed that he was ignoring her feelings. It was clear they weren't going to reach agreement on anything this evening.

Sully slowed his steps and turned around to face her. "There's not just you an' me on this trip. Are you forgettin' Brian and Dorothy? I can't believe you'd ruin this trip for everyone." He waited for a reply, but when none came, he turned around and continued walking, each stride more purposeful than the last.

Michaela watched Sully walk off into the woods, unlikely to return until morning. Instead of lying alone on her bedroll longing for him to be by her side, to not be angry with her, and to understand her fears, she decided to spend the night next to her children. She gathered her bedroll and brought it into the tent, laying it out between each child.

From the shadows, Sully watched Michaela. It was going to be a long sleepless night as he tried to decide what to do. If Michaela was not going to change her mind about going home, Sully would have to decide whether to go on alone or turn back. Neither choice appealed to him. He slowly made his way back over to the fire and remained standing as he stared into the flames. As he worked it over and over in his mind, he knew it all came down to his strong desire to see Cloud Dancing again, combined with his belief that Michaela was being unreasonable. Still, he didn't want to go to the reservation alone. He wanted his family by his side. He wanted his children to get to know the Cheyenne.

Sully knew how scared and upset Michaela had been over Josef's disappearance. By being married to her all these years, he had learned that sometimes her fear caused her to act rashly and say things she didn't mean. After a good night's sleep, Sully hoped Michaela might see things clearer and change her mind. But, he also knew her well enough to know that when she set her mind on something, it wasn't easy to change. Frustrated, he took a seat on the ground, crossed his legs in front of him, and tilted his head up to the stars unsure about what he would do in the morning.

Michaela lay stretched out between her children counting the seams on the roof of the tent and listening to the crackling of the fire. She couldn't sleep. It wasn't easy for her to decide to return home, knowing how important this trip was to Sully. And she regretted the distance it had put between them. She also knew it was unfair of her to have talked both Dorothy and Brian into joining her on this trip, only to force them to turn back. But, she couldn't deny her fears. No matter what she tried to do to quell them, they remained as strong as ever. _Why couldn't Sully understand that I didn't make this decision lightly? _

They had only been gone five days and already Wolf had been killed by a cougar and Josef had gotten lost. In her mind, she knew both of these events could have happened at home, but out here, away from familiar surroundings, she felt more vulnerable, less able to control the situation. She knew she was letting down her friend and her children. As hard as that was to bear, it was even more difficult to face that she was breaking Sully's heart. For over a year, he looked forward to seeing Cloud Dancing again, excited by the prospect of reuniting with his brother and the opportunity to teach Katie and Josef about the Cheyenne. _Was it fair to cheat him out of this? _Could she garner the courage to go on…for him?

* * *

In a nearby campsite, the Indian family who had found Josef sat in their tent preparing for bed. A woman rocked a fussy baby while the man looked on helplessly.

"How is he?" Running Wolf asked his wife, as he leaned over to stroke the baby's head.

Night Crane didn't take her eyes off the child. "He is very warm and has difficulty breathing," she replied, cradling the baby close to her chest.

"Do you know the problem?" He asked, unable to hide the anxiety in his voice.

"No. I have never seen this before."

Running Wolf sat beside his wife, taking the baby's hand in his. Instinctively, the infant wrapped his tiny fingers around one of his father's large ones. "In the morning, I will collect more bark for the fever tea. Do you need anything else?"

"Let's hope he is better by morning," she said, resting her head on the baby's warm forehead. "Is Eyes Like the Sky asleep?"

"Yes. He was out before I finished the story of the Medicine Arrows," he chuckled.

She lifted her eyes to her husband. "He was disappointed when the boy left. He hasn't had much opportunity to get to know children his own age."

"It was for the best. He will make friends where we are going."

"I hope you're right. It has never been easy for him to make friends," she replied, shifting the baby to her shoulder to help him breath easier. "Still, the boy, Josef…he seemed like a nice child."

"After he stopped being afraid of us," Running Wolf retorted.

Night Crane gave him a disapproving look. "The little boy was lost. He was separated from his family. Of course he was scared."

Running Wolf waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Do not fool yourself, Night Crane. He was scared of us…because of who we are."

Night Crane rubbed New Promise's back as the baby dozed over her shoulder. "He probably never met Indians before," she told her husband. "And he was fine after a while. He was not a child who has been taught to hate."

"Not yet," Running Wolf replied under his breath.

Night Crane chose to ignore his retort. "Do you know why his family was way out here?"

"The man did not say." Running Wolf rose to his feet, laid out their bedrolls and removed his beads. "We are many days from our destination. Do you think we can travel tomorrow?" He asked with a heavy sigh.

"If New Promise is better, we can be on our way," she replied, kissing the baby's head. She hesitated for a long moment. "I am not sure it is wise to be in such a hurry. We don't know what will happen when we get there," she said, her voice edged with worry.

"It is more dangerous to be out here, away from familiar surroundings. Besides, those who know the truth are gone." Running Wolf reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Remember, we made this decision _together_. Whatever happens, we will face it _together_."

She smiled up at her husband. "Thank you for doing this." Just then the baby began coughing, his little body convulsing and turning red from his inability to breathe. Both parents tried consoling him. Night Crane loosened his garments while Running Wolf rubbed his back.

The baby continued to cough. "What is wrong with him?" Running Wolf said, alarm in his tone.

"I don't know," his wife replied, feeling desperate and helpless to ease the baby's discomfort. "That man," she began in a frantic voice. "The boy's father. Didn't he say his wife is a doctor?"

"We do not need anything from them," her husband answered firmly.

"New Promise is growing worse. This lady doctor might be able to help him."

"No. It is not safe."

"Would you rather see your son die than accept help from a white doctor," she challenged, tears threatening at the corners of her eyes.

Her words stung. "You know that is not the case. Who's to say she will even see him?"

"That man offered. He was grateful you found his son. My uncle would say he has a debt on you, Running Wolf. What did you say that man's name was?"

"I don't remember."

"Try to remember," his wife implored.

"I did not pay attention. I only wanted to take him to his son and for them to leave."

Night Crane's memory drifted back in time. "When I was a young girl, a white doctor used to come to my village. This doctor was very kind to my people."

"No, it's too dangerous."

"They don't know us. What harm can come from seeking her help. We don't know what is wrong, Running Wolf! Don't let your fear and stubbornness harm our son."

Running Wolf weighed her words as a torrent of emotions raged within him. The times he had trusted the white man had always led to betrayal. He carried scars from which he was certain he would never fully recover. Yet, his wife was worried about their son and she was not one to panic without cause. If anything happened to New Promise that could have been prevented, he would never forgive himself. Running Wolf swallowed hard and stared into the worried eyes of his wife. "You want to go to this…this doctor?"

"Yes."

Running Wolf's eyes made a nervous pass across her face and then turned down, his head in a storm of confusion. After weighing his options for several moments, he raised his eyes to his wife and sighed heavily. "If New Promise is not better by morning, we will go."

To Be Continued...


	9. Chapter 9

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Nine **

Sully hadn't closed his eyes all night as he pondered whether to return home with Michaela or continue on to the reservation alone. As the sun began to light the night sky, he finally reached a decision, but it was one that weighed heavy on his heart. With his back stiff from sitting too long in an upright position, Sully rose to his feet and started to break camp.

Exhaustion, brought on by lack of sleep, and made worse by his argument with Michaela, permeated his entire body, causing his mind and limbs to move in slow motion. While loading the supplies into the wagon, he noticed his wife emerge from the tent with the children. For a brief moment, their eyes met. They both quickly looked away and continued with their chores, each one wishing they knew what the other was thinking, but too stubborn to bridge the gap that had come between them.

Michaela settled the children by the fire and started breakfast. The way Sully avoided coming near any of them brought a tension to the day that she had hoped might have dissipated by morning. She glanced over at her husband and noticed the absent-minded way he loaded the wagon. When the water for coffee had boiled, she prepared a cup and, ever so slowly, began to approach him from behind. From less than a foot away, she reached out to touch his shoulder, but hesitated, leaving the gesture unfinished. Sully sensed the nearness of her fingers before they settled lightly on his arm. Just as he turned to face her, Michaela handed him the cup of coffee.

"Thank you," he said, avoiding her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sully." When he didn't respond, she continued. "I'm sorry we quarreled, especially in front of Josef. I was wrong to announce we weren't continuing without discussing it with you when we were alone." When Sully finally met her eyes, she was startled by the disappointment etched across his face.

He drew in a shaky breath before speaking. "I don't…I don't want ta go home, Michaela." He paused to measure his words, the next ones being the most difficult. "But, if it's what ya gotta do ta feel safe…then we'll go."

Michaela looked away in guilt, knowing what agreeing to return home was costing him. Last night her mind had been made up about going home. But as she lay awake all night weighing her needs against the needs of everyone else on the trip – Sully, the children, and Dorothy – she was more confused than ever about what to do. She remained quiet for several long moments searching for a response from deep within her.

"Michaela?" Sully couldn't read her expression.

She met his gaze again. "Sully, I…" Her thoughts were interrupted by a commotion from behind.

"Papa, look," Katie called, pointing in the direction of the woods.

Michaela and Sully turned toward the trees and saw an Indian hurrying into their camp with a baby clutched to his chest. A woman and a young boy trailed close behind. The Indian looked right at Michaela.

"Can you help our baby? He became much worse during the night."

Sully stared at the family, recognizing the Indian who had found Josef. Without hesitation, he retrieved Michaela's medical bag as she led the worried parents and their crying baby inside the tent.

"That's them," Josef whispered to his sister, while they ate their breakfast. "That's the Indian who found me."

An older boy stood outside the tent right where his parents had told him to wait. He was nervous in the white camp, but curious about the two children seated by the fire. He recognized the boy as the one his father had found in the woods. In his own camp, with the little boy so scared, he found the courage to talk to him. Here in the white camp, he was afraid.

Sully reminded Katie and Josef to stay outside with Dorothy and Brian. Approaching the entrance to the tent, he stopped to speak with the Indian child before going inside. "Why don't ya go sit with the other kids? Your folks could be in there a while."

The boy fell mute and slowly lowered himself to the ground to wait for his family. Deciding not to push him, Sully entered the tent with a basin of water. He set it on the ground, and he then handed Michaela her medical bag.

"How long has he been like this?" Michaela asked. She removed the blanket from around the infant and loosened his garments.

Night Crane studied her intently as Running Wolf stood rigid in the corner of the tent, arms crossed at his chest. "He started feeling ill the day before yesterday, but he became so hot during the night. It is difficult for him to breathe. Please help my baby," the worried mother pleaded.

Michaela removed her stethoscope from her bag and held it to the baby's chest. "I promise to do everything in my power to help him. I'm Doctor Quinn." She introduced herself then quieted to listen to the congestion in the baby's lungs. First, we need to lower his temperature. What is his name?"

"New Promise," Night Crane replied, sensing a strange familiarity that she couldn't place, but quickly dismissed. "He is six months old." Just then the baby let out a piercing scream. "What is the matter with him?"

Michaela held the baby in a sitting position and lightly tapped on his back to loosen any accumulating phlegm. She gently placed the infant on his back and removed a jar of ointment from her bag. "I can't be certain, but I believe he has a serious catarrh. I'm going to rub some of this menthol balm on his chest to help him breathe more easily," she explained to the parents. After applying the salve to the baby's chest, she wiped her hands on a dishcloth. Michaela carried the baby to the basin, and placed a dampened cloth on his forehead. She slowly poured water over him to cool his body.

"What are you doing to him," Running Wolf barked. He felt helpless and ill at ease as he watched the white doctor, a woman no less, tend to his child.

"His temperature is very high. Cooling his body with water is the fastest way I know to lower it," Michaela explained. "Sully, would you brew some willow bark tea, please?"

"Sure," he said. Crossing to the other side of the small tent, he took a small amount of bark from her bag and exited.

"You use our medicine?" Running Wolf asked. He tried hard not to let his astonishment show.

"I use the most effective treatment I can find. In this case, I've found willow bark to be gentler on infants than quinine."

"How did you learn about the tea?" Running Wolf continued to stand with his arms crossed at his chest.

"I was taught by a Cheyenne medicine man. He's a dear family friend," Michaela replied. She remembered just how dear a friend he was and how much she had been looking forward to seeing him before the terrible events of the past few days.

Night Crane studied the doctor carefully as if trying to unravel a mystery. "Where is your home?"

"Colorado Springs. It's about four days from here," Michaela said, as she continued to pour water over the baby.

The young woman continued to stare at the doctor. "I am called Night Crane and this is my husband Running Wolf."

"I'm pleased to meet both of you." Michaela said, nodding first to Night Crane then toward Running Wolf. Sully returned with a cup of willow bark tea and handed it to Night Crane's outstretched hand. "Back home, they call me Dr. Mike and you've already met my husband, Sully." Michaela lifted the baby's head, while his mother held the cup and used a spoon to administer the warm liquid. "What are you doing all the way out here?" Michaela asked the woman, after the baby had swallowed a few spoonfuls of the tea.

"We are traveling to the Cheyenne reservation in the Oklahoma territory," Night Crane announced, fully aware that this revelation would displease her husband.

Running Wolf shot her a steely glare while Michaela and Sully shared a look of surprise.

Michaela applied her stethoscope to the baby's chest again. "The balm I applied seems to be easing his breathing." She glanced at Sully warily, regretting they hadn't finished their conversation from this morning. This wasn't the way she intended to tell him. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Night Crane. "I would feel better…that is…I think it would be best if I kept an eye on him for the next few days."

"You have done enough," Running Wolf said, moving to his baby's side. He stroked his head, smoothing his damp, raven hair. "Tell us what to do and we'll do it."

"Illnesses such as this in infants are quite unpredictable." She closed her eyes, took another deep breath, and opened them again. "My family is also headed in that direction." As the words left her mouth, she quickly glanced at Sully then just as quickly averted her eyes. "As his doctor, I would feel more comfortable if we traveled together so I could keep an eye on New Promise for the next day or two."

"So would I," Night Crane agreed, sharing a conspiratorial glance with Michaela.

Sully stared hard at Michaela in disbelief, uncertain if he heard her correctly. Even if he had heard her right, the meaning in her words was less than clear. He wasn't sure if Michaela had changed her mind about going home altogether, or if she was only postponing their return so she could monitor the baby for the next few days.

Running Wolf knew he was outnumbered. He stared at the three adults for a few moments. "We will travel with you until New Promise is well." He abruptly exited the tent, uneasy about this unexpected turn of events.

Night Crane watched him leave, knowing it went against his nature to place his trust in strangers, especially white strangers. She turned to Michaela and Sully as she lifted her baby into her arms, giving his head a gentle kiss. "Please forgive my husband. He is used to taking care of us. It makes him uncomfortable to rely on anyone else. I speak for both of us when I say we are grateful for your help."

"I understand," Michaela replied.

"Can the baby travel today?" Sully asked his wife.

"Yes, but we should stop often."

"I'll finish loadin' the wagon an' see if Runnin' Wolf needs any help with his supplies," Sully said, nodding farewell to both women before exiting the tent.

"Nahko'e," Eyes Like the Sky called, as he bounded into the tent nearly colliding with Sully. Michaela recognized it as the Cheyenne word for mother.

His mother held up her finger to silence him. "Remember your manners," his mother gently chastised in Cheyenne, turning toward Michaela. "This is my elder son, Eyes Like the Sky."

"I'm pleased to meet you," Michaela greeted. She was struck by the blueness of the young boy's eyes. She turned back to Night Crane. "You may rest in the tent until we're ready to leave. I'll be right outside if you need me."

"Thank you," Night Crane replied, and then turned her attention back to the infant now asleep in her arms.

Michaela found Sully loading the last of the bedrolls into the wagon. She approached him slowly with her hands clasped in front of her.

Sully sensed her near and turned to face her, his eyes remote. "How far we goin' Michaela?" His voice was tight with frustration.

Michaela was startled by his sharp tone and rigid body language. "What do you mean?"

He stared hard at her. "Are we gonna travel 'til their baby's well and then turn around?" Sully asked, more as an accusation than a question. He turned his back to her, fastening the cover on the wagon, pulling hard on the straps on each side. When the cover was secure, he took several steps toward the horses.

Color flooded her cheeks. Michaela took two steps forward grasping his hand to keep him from leaving. "Sully, I was frightened and exhausted last night. I wasn't thinking clearly." Sully felt the tension in his body ease a little as he turned back around to face her. She continued, "I was awake all night long thinking about what you said, about what we wanted out of this trip for ourselves and for our children. You were right about something. What happened out here could just as easily have happened at home. To be honest, I'm still afraid of what else might happen, but I want us to continue…for you…and the children. I was about to tell you all this when the Indians arrived with their baby." Sully stepped closer to her and reached for her other hand, gently caressing the back of it with his thumb. "When Night Crane said her family was headed in the same direction, it was as if I was given the final sign I needed to trust my decision." She gazed into the deep blue ocean of his eyes. "I want us all to visit with Cloud Dancing again. I want the children to learn about the Cheyenne. I want that more than anything for us, Sully."

Sully drew her to him in a tight embrace that conveyed what her words had meant to him. "You sure 'bout this?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." He kissed her temple while caressing her head. "Everythin's gonna be all right. You'll see." He sealed his gratitude with a soft kiss on her lips. She deepened the kiss then nuzzled into the warmth of his chest.

* * *

For the better part of a day, the two families traveled in the same direction, along the same roads, but remained separate. Even though they stopped to rest at the same time, ate at the same time, and tended to their horses at the same time, it appeared to be by coincidence instead of a deliberate decision. The families hardly spoke to each other, except to exchange idle comments about the changing landscape or to discuss which road to take. Their interactions were guarded and distant, just short of tense. 

As the baby's doctor, Michaela had the most interaction with the Indian family. At her insistence, they stopped every few hours so she could examine him. In these encounters, she found Running Wolf and his wife to be devoted to each other and their family, but intensely private. Night Crane seldom spoke, except to her husband and her children, but Michaela noticed that she observed everything quite closely. While tending to the baby, Michaela thought about how much she missed her interactions with the Cheyenne, who had become such an important part of her life when she first arrived in Colorado. Being with Night Crane made her think of Snow Bird, and she became curious about the young woman's stories of survival and her hopes and dreams for the future. She longed to know why they traveled to the reservation now and of the significance of the baby's name, New Promise. Michaela was certain there was deep meaning in that name. But for now, she would set aside her curiosity to focus on her tiny patient. Ensuring his welfare was her top priority. At their last stop, she was relieved to find that New Promise's temperature was normal and his breathing regular. Despite the progress he had made, he still had a persistent cough and congestion in his lungs that needed to be monitored for signs of pneumonia.

It was a warm day. The sky was a cloudless blue with a light breeze that rustled the leaves. As they reached the midway point between Colorado Springs and Oklahoma, the landscape transformed from mountains and forests into the low, flat plains. After passing through short rolling hills, the road flattened to reveal open prairie grasslands that stretched for miles in a golden hue, their tall stalks bending in the breeze. It was a vast expanse of nothingness, no mountains, no trees, no streams, only grass and more grass as far as the eye could see. To the travelers used to the mountains of Montana and Colorado, the horizon seemed empty and featureless.

At the last stop for the day, Sully and Running Wolf discussed the best way to travel to the reservation. Now that the families were traveling together, at least for a few days, it was no longer a matter of finding the most direct route. It was also a priority to travel in a manner that wouldn't attract the attention of the Army or the nearby cattle ranchers. Running Wolf's knowledge of the area around Oklahoma, particularly the location of the Army forts, was unexpected. For reasons he couldn't explain, it put Sully on guard. From the little he had ascertained about his background, he assumed that the Indian had spent most of his life in the north. Given his familiarity with the terrain, Sully wondered if he hadn't once lived in this part of the country as well. If he did, Running Wolf wasn't ready to offer that information yet.

Both Sully and Running Wolf agreed that it would take about four days to arrive at the reservation on their chosen route. They also agreed on the best place to stop for a day to break up the travel. The horses needed to rest and the children could use some time to play and enjoy the land. Running Wolf remained remote toward Sully, but he respected his knowledge of the terrain. Sully sensed impatience, along with apprehension, in the Indian. At times, he thought he seemed eager to get to the reservation and at other times worried. From what he knew of the conditions at the Indian Agency, Sully couldn't blame him for any ambivalence he had about making it their home.

The children were curious about one another as well, often eyeing each other from across the wagon. Taking their cues from the adults, they kept their distance, but continued to steal glances. Katie was interested in meeting the Indian boy with the blue eyes. Josef, still distracted by the burden he was carrying, didn't pay the other children much attention. Ever since his conversation with his father about the tracks, Josef had been sticking close to his sister. It was as if he saw Katie as his protection from his father's probing questions. He played games with her and he sat beside her drawing pictures when she wanted to read quietly. He was afraid if he were alone, for even a few minutes, his father would start asking questions again.

It had been a full day since his father mentioned the tracks. Josef wondered whether he had forgotten about them now that the Indian family was traveling with them. Knowing his father, that wasn't likely. He also wondered if his father had told his mother and if she was disappointed in him. Josef thought about going to his father and telling the truth, since he didn't think it was possible to feel any worse than he already did. However, the mere idea of confessing to being responsible for Wolf's death frightened him too much. Instead, he remained trapped in a prison of his emotions.

Brian was curious about Running Wolf and Night Crane. Once when they stopped to eat, he tried to engage them in conversation. He asked them where they were from, why they were going to the reservation, and if they had lived on another reservation. The Indian couple was polite, but avoided answering any of his questions. Brian knew they weren't prepared to share their story with him just yet. They had no reason to trust him.

Dorothy was filled with questions about the Indian family, too. While researching the Cheyenne, Cloud Dancing had taught her a great deal about the characteristics that distinguished them from other tribes. Night Crane was a beautiful woman. She had clearly defined features of the Cheyenne and looked to be about thirty years old, several years younger than her husband. To Dorothy, Running Wolf didn't look to be Cheyenne, nor did his dress match the descriptions in her head. She wondered if he was from the northern part of the tribe. She also wondered if they knew Cloud Dancing and if they could tell her if he was all right. Her greatest fear was arriving at the reservation and learning that he was ill or hurt.

When the families stopped for the evening, they arranged their tents on opposite ends of the campsite and made two fires. Michaela checked on the baby for the last time that day. She approached her husband with the suggestion that they ask the Indian family to join them for supper. After the lack of otherwise necessary interaction between the families during the day's ride, it was evident to Sully that they were not interested in exchanging even general friendly formalities. The two families remained as they were, into the night, separate within each other's company.

* * *

After breakfast the next day, Eyes Like the Sky sat alone by the edge of camp with his legs crossed in front of him watching the two white children chase each other around the wagon. Judging by the gales of laughter coming from their direction, the game looked like fun. The shy child longed to join in, but he hung back, choosing instead to play his familiar role as observer. It seemed he had spent much of his life on the outside looking in, always alone. 

During the time they lived in the Army camp and on the reservation, he hadn't made any friends. Other children didn't seem to like him. He had no reason to believe that these children would be any different than the Indian children with whom he had grown up or the white children at the Army camp. Having a Cheyenne mother and a white father made him an outcast in both worlds. Eyes Like the Sky wondered if he would ever find a place where he would fit in.

As she circled the wagon, Katie noticed the Indian boy watching their game. From the look in his eyes, she thought he might like to join them. He seemed lonely and eager for friends. Katie stopped running and stared at the boy for an instant. When Josef caught up to her, she whispered into his ear, took his hand, and together they walked toward the boy.

"Hi! I'm Katie Sully," she said, standing in front of him. "You already met my brother, Josef."

Josef nodded. "Hi."

Eyes Like the Sky glanced up at the two children. He remembered being introduced to them when their families first started traveling together, but he couldn't recall their names until Katie mentioned them again. What he did recall was the color of Katie's hair. He had never seen hair so light before and thought it looked like a bright burst of sunshine. "I'm called Eyes Like the Sky," he replied hesitantly. Having grown up expecting rejection, he kept himself on guard.

"That's a funny name," Josef blurted, shyly standing beside his sister.

"Joey!" Katie chastised. "I think your name is nice. You do have eyes like pieces of the sky."

The boy smiled at her in appreciation. "What does Katie mean?"

"I don't know," she replied, having never thought about the question before.

"Why are you called Katie?" He rephrased the question.

"Katherine was my pa's mother's name."

"I'm named after my grandpa," Josef supplied proudly. "He's in heaven."

"Where's heaven?"

"It's where people go when they die," Josef explained, surprised at how little the older boy knew.

Eyes Like the Sky had never heard of heaven before and Josef's explanation left him even more confused. "When my people pass to the spirit world, they follow the hanging road to the camp in the stars."

"Oh," Katie replied, a puzzled expression on her face. "In heaven you get to see all the other people who died. When my grandma died, she got to go back to be with grandpa."

The camp in the stars and heaven sounded alike to the young child. Eyes Like the Sky wondered if they didn't have two names for the same place. He wanted to know more about these white children. "Did you have any other names?" the Indian boy asked.

Katie sat down in the grass. "My middle name is Elizabeth, after my ma's mother."

Eyes Like the Sky took a seat across from her. "Middle name?"

"Yes, my full name is Katherine Elizabeth Sully, but everyone calls me Katie."

Eyes Like the Sky didn't understand the concept of a middle name. He only knew he didn't have one. "That's not what I mean. What I mean is, were you called anything before Katie?"

"No. Why would I have another name?"

"Cheyenne children are given one name at birth, then at six or seven we receive our real name. Later in life, if we do a great deed, we may take another name," the boy explained.

"What do you gotta do to get a new name?" Josef asked, as he quietly sat next to his sister.

"You might be given a new name for an act of bravery or for doing an important deed for the tribe," he explained. "There was a man in our village who was a successful hunter. He always brought back enough meat to feed our people. The elders named him Never Go Hungry."

Josef thought that he'd like to do something worthy of a new name. As of now he could only think of one name he deserved - Wolf Killer.

Katie rested her chin on her hand and considered what Eyes Like the Sky had told them. "We have one name for our whole life."

"Oh." He thought it odd.

"Did you have another name?" Josef asked, interested.

"I was called Blue Bird when I was born. My mother named me Eyes Like the Sky when I was seven. I hope, when I become a man, I will bring honor to my people and then I will be given a new name…a name that doesn't tell people I'm different." His eyes drifted toward his father who was talking with Katie and Josef's father. "Are you part Cheyenne?"

"No," Katie replied. "What made you think that?"

"Your father wears the beads and medicine pouch of my people," he explained, still staring at Sully.

"Papa lived with the Cheyenne a long time ago," she replied. "It was before he met Mama and had us."

"Cloud Dancing found him when he was lost," Josef chimed in. "He's our Cheyenne father. That's what our papa says."

"Your Cheyenne father?" the Indian boy asked, with keen interest.

"Papa says that Cloud Dancing is like a brother to him and the Cheyenne believe that the brother is also the father of the children," Katie explained, repeating what she had been taught.

"That is true," Eyes Like the Sky replied. The children lingered in silence for a long while, having run out of topics of conversation.

"You wanna play with us?" Katie asked.

"What do you want to play?"

"How 'bout hide-n-seek?" she suggested.

"What's that?" Eyes Like the Sky asked.

"You don't know how to play hide-n-seek?" Josef questioned in disbelief. "Everyone knows how to play that."

The little boy shook his head, embarrassed. "Let's play the coyote game instead."

"We don't know how to play that," Josef replied.

Eyes Like the Sky thought of another game they could play. "Do you know how to track animals?"

Josef looked away. "Not really," he answered in a small voice.

"Joey, that's not true. We know a lot about tracking. Papa's been teaching us," Katie replied, confused by her brother's behavior.

"Let's see if we can find something to track. There's probably rabbit or deer tracks around here. If we're really lucky, maybe we'll find bobcat tracks or a bear," Eyes Like the Sky suggested, rising to his feet.

Katie stood up, looking a little apprehensive. "Okay, but…we can't go too far into the woods."

"We won't. We'll just go a little ways to see if we can find a track. We won't actually track the animal. Whoever finds the first track wins."

Josef's heart was beating with fright. "I don't wanna play that."

"Why not? You love tracking with Papa," Katie told him.

"I just don't want to," he snapped.

"C'mon Joey, it'll be fun," Katie persisted.

Josef jumped to his feet. "No! I won't play that." Noticing how Katie and Eyes Like the Sky recoiled at his outburst, he collected himself and steadied his quivering voice. "Let's teach Eyes Like the Sky hide-n-seek instead."

Katie put her hands on her hips. "I don't understand why you've been acting so strange. We're gonna play the tracking game and you can go play by yourself." Katie turned to go, but she stopped when she noticed that Eyes Like the Sky remained with Josef.

Eyes Like the Sky sensed something was bothering Josef. Even more than that, he didn't want to be responsible for causing a rift between the siblings. "I'd like to learn hide-n-seek," he said to Katie in a small voice. He then faced Josef. "How do you play?"

Josef's face beamed. He liked the new boy already. "It's easy. Two of us hide and the other person has to find them," Josef explained.

"That's all?"

"Yeah. That's all. Katie you can be the first one to find us," Josef offered. It was a small peace offering to bring his sister into the game.

Katie threw up her hands in a sign of surrender. "All right, I'll count to ten. You and Eyes Like the Sky go hide, and I'll look for you." She closed her eyes and began to count, while the boys dashed off to find their hiding places.

_To Be Continued..._


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company._

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Ten**

Night Crane sat on the ground piecing leather into a moccasin. She chose a shady spot under a cottonwood tree to escape the scorching heat of the midday sun. Working with skins always relaxed her. Like her mother before her, Night Crane had been raised as part of the quilling society; women who worked with quills to ceremonially decorate robes, lodges, and clothing. In her village, it had been among the most revered skills a woman could possess. Unfortunately, as the number of porcupines declined, it had been many years since she found enough actual quills to work with.

These days, her ornamentations relied mainly on thread and beads. Without looking down, her hands found their way around the skin with artful precision. Her eyes moved back and forth between her baby lying contently beside her and her older son playing with the two white children, but never toward her hands.

Michaela approached Night Crane with her medical bag in her hand. "I'd like to examine New Promise now, if I may."

Her concentration broken, Night Crane looked up at Michaela. "He is fine," she replied, disturbed by the interruption of this rare quiet time.

"I'm delighted he's better, but I still need to examine him," she persisted.

After a moment's hesitation, Night Crane agreed.

"Thank you." Michaela knelt down to check the baby's temperature. She held the stethoscope to his chest to monitor his breathing. After several moments, she looked at Night Crane with a smile on her face. "New Promise has recovered nicely. His fever is gone, his lungs are clear, and his color has returned to normal."

Night Crane met the doctor's eyes. "We are grateful for your help."

"I'm glad I was able to help." Michaela paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. "I hardly know how to thank you for what your family did for Josef. If Running Wolf hadn't found him…" She stared down at the ground unable to complete the sentence.

Night Crane placed her hand atop Michaela's in a gesture of understanding. "Both of our children are safe and well now."

Michaela raised her head. "Yes, they are."

The women sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments watching the children play, neither of them sure of what to say next.

"Your youngest son is weighed down by something," Night Crane observed, concerned.

"Josef?"

"Yes," she replied, her eyes still focused on the children. "When he was at our camp, after Running Wolf found him, his eyes betrayed a burden too great for one so young." She turned to face Michaela. "I see the same look in his eyes today."

"Getting lost was very frightening for him," Michaela explained.

"I am certain it was, but there is more."

Michaela was irritated that this woman she barely knew presumed to know something about her son that she didn't, but nonetheless, she felt compelled to offer an explanation. "Right before he got lost, our family pet, Wolf, died. Josef took it especially hard. I believe he still misses him."

"That may be it," Night Crane answered, doubt in her voice.

Michaela looked toward Josef and back toward Night Crane wondering if there was something she had missed. She quickly dismissed the idea. _As his mother, no one is more aware of Josef than I am_. Still, Night Crane's comment bothered her and she continued to stare in her son's direction with concern.

Dorothy approached the two women. "Mind if I join you?"

Michaela diverted her eyes from Josef to smile up at her friend. "Of course not. Please have a seat." She had spoken without knowing how Night Crane felt about Dorothy joining them. Turning toward the young woman, she said, "That is, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind," Night Crane told Dorothy, having no gracious way to avoid the additional intrusion.

"Thank you." Dorothy joined the two women on the ground. Immediately, she noticed the moccasin in Night Crane's hand. "You do beautiful work. It's so intricate."

Michaela noticed the beadwork for the first time. "Yes, it's lovely. Where did you learn to do that?"

"My mother and my grandmother," Night Crane replied simply.

Night Crane was a difficult woman to get to know. Michaela wanted to ask her more questions about her background, but she appeared to be a private person, who shared only what was necessary. If Michaela considered what she had likely been through in her life, she couldn't blame her for not trusting easily. When she was with Night Crane, Michaela couldn't help thinking about Snow Bird and how important their friendship was to her. She hoped she could get to know Night Crane better during this trip.

To ease Night Crane's discomfort, Michaela steered the conversation in another direction. "Dorothy, did you finish your writing for today?"

"Writing?" Night Crane asked.

Dorothy shifted to face the young woman. "I'm a journalist back home. I'm writing about this trip, about all the places we've been, how the scenery is changing and I'll write about the reservation when we get there. I try to write some every day."

"Dorothy runs the Gazette," Michaela added. "It's the only newspaper in Colorado Springs."

Night Crane set aside her work and shifted uncomfortably.

Dorothy noticed the woman's unease. "Oh, you don't have to worry. I'm not writing about you. I know how unsafe it is for you and your family to be off the reservation. I wouldn't do anything to put your family in danger."

Night Crane gave her a faint smile. "Thank you."

"How is New Promise? He's so quiet, I almost didn't know he was here," Dorothy said, looking down at the baby.

"Dr. Mike tells me he is completely well. I am grateful for your concern." She picked up the moccasin and resumed her work as a brief silence fell among the women. "Running Wolf will want us to find our own way to the reservation soon. Is New Promise well enough for us to be on our way?"

"Yes, he is, but I wish you would reconsider and accompany our family. It will be safer for all of us if we travel together. Besides, I'd welcome the company," Michaela urged.

"My husband will want us to find our own way."

"What would _you_ prefer?" Dorothy asked, her tone more challenging than she intended.

"It is not my place to question his decisions."

"Surely, he takes your opinions into consideration," Michaela questioned.

Night Crane didn't care for the forward ways of the lady doctor or the journalist. "He does."

Michaela grew quiet, not wanting to offend a woman she hardly knew. Her eyes glanced in the direction of the children. "The children are getting along so well. It would be nice if they could continue to play together. I know Katie and Josef would enjoy having another child to play with."

Night Crane had noticed how friendly the Sully children had been to her son. Their acceptance of him was different from most children he had met. She regretted seeing that end. "Eyes Like the Sky has not had children his own age to play with for some time," she said, staring in the direction of the children.

"How long have you been traveling?" Dorothy asked.

Night Crane paused, unsure about how to respond. "For some time now."

"Where did you live before?" Michaela asked. She noticed Night Crane bristle and her body became rigid. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"We were in the north."

"With the Northern Cheyenne?" Dorothy asked, with growing curiosity.

"I have lived many places and with many tribes. It is time now to find my own people."

"Then you _are_ Cheyenne!" Michaela exclaimed.

"Yes."

"I formed many friendships with the Cheyenne people when Black Kettle's village was in Colorado."

Night Crane shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Black Kettle's name.

"I wrote a book about the Cheyenne once. I learned a great deal from your people," Dorothy offered.

"Does your work bring you to the Indian Agency?" Night Crane asked both women.

"No. We're going to visit a dear friend of ours, a Cheyenne medicine man. Cloud Dancing." As she uttered his name, Michaela thought she saw recognition in Night Crane's eyes. "Do you know him?"

"I may have heard of him."

"He lived for a time among the Northern Cheyenne before deciding to make his home in the Cheyenne-Arapaho Indian Agency," Dorothy explained. She longed to ask more questions about Cloud Dancing, but she held back.

"There were many great leaders among my people."

"Yes, there were. I had the honor of knowing Black Kettle. His greatest hope was that your people and mine could live together in peace. I never knew a man who wanted peace more," Michaela said, her voice catching with emotion.

"I shared that hope once. Now, instead of sharing the land in peace, my people are your prisoners. What I fear most, is if the day ever comes when your people realize they should share this vast country and decide to work with us, it will be too late. My people will be full of hate." Night Crane's comment silenced the women. Michaela shared an uncomfortable, but sympathetic glance with Dorothy. Then both women collected their things and excused themselves. Night Crane was left alone with her sewing and her thoughts.

* * *

"Mind if we come along?" Sully asked Running Wolf, when he noticed him place his bow over his shoulder. "I was just headin' out with Brian ta get supper." The Indian didn't respond as he continued to rifle through a collection of arrows as if searching for a specific one. 

Running Wolf finally found the arrow he was looking for. He placed it in his quiver, along with two others and he turned around. "I prefer to hunt alone," he replied. "Please do not take offense."

"We'll have more luck if we go together," Sully persisted. He was curious about the Indian, and if their families were going to be traveling together, he was determined to find out more about Running Wolf in spite of the Indian's effort to remain apart.

"I will be more successful on my own," Running Wolf countered. He had been looking forward to the solitude of the woods to relax and clear his head of the strain of constantly being on guard around the white family. Moreover, he lacked confidence in this white man's ability to hunt. "If we all go, it will be difficult to remain silent. The animals will scatter when they hear us coming."

Sully's eyes narrowed. "When you were back with your tribe, didn't ya go out huntin' in large groups? I remember some pretty large huntin' parties when I lived with the Cheyenne."

"My people knew how to be quiet," Running Wolf challenged, as he reached for his bow.

A reluctant smile flickered across Sully's face. "So do mine. Trust us."

Trust. The word carried a great weight. Trusting people had been Running Wolf's problem. Throughout much of his life, he had chosen to trust the wrong people. He trusted their promises, played by their rules, and ended up in a prison of shame. Now the only person he trusted completely was his wife. He couldn't afford to let down his guard and trust anyone else. At the same time, he could tell by his dress and manner that Sully seemed to have a genuine appreciation of the ways of the Cheyenne. He even thought he heard him mention having lived among them.

In the time since they began traveling together, Running Wolf felt an irrational trust beginning to form. Still, he needed to be careful. But, if he continued to argue with him, Sully might become suspicious or think him rude. _What harm could come from us hunting together? It might be easier to let them accompany me than to continue to protest._

"We will go together," Running Wolf answered reluctantly.

"Good," Sully replied. He turned to collect his bow and arrows and to wave Brian over to them.

From across the campsite, Brian noticed Sully talking to Running Wolf. He was having second thoughts about going hunting. With everything that had happened over the past few days, all his time had been spent supporting his mother and helping his siblings. He hadn't had a moment by himself to think about his own life and what he hoped to do when they returned home. For a little while, he wanted to be alone. There was another reason he thought about staying behind. If he didn't come along, Sully would have more opportunity to get to know the Indian better. But, part of him wanted to go. He was curious to learn more about Running Wolf, too. He headed in Sully's direction weighed down by ambivalence.

"Hey, Pa," Brian began. "I was thinking about staying here. Why don't the two of you go hunting without me?"

"C'mon Brian, let's all go," Sully urged. "With what's happened 'round here, we haven't spent much time together." Brian looked at him a long beat, his brows drawn, deliberating. It's true that he had agreed to go and it was also true that they hadn't had much time together recently. With a quizzical look, Sully registered his uncertainty. "But, it's all right if you'd rather stay."

Brian considered his options for another moment. "No. I'll come," he said, deciding it was best if he went. "Let me get my bow."

The three men rode their horses down a shallow coulee through a stretch of short rolling hills. The dense blanket of low hanging light gray clouds overhead turned the sky a cool shade of silver. Their cover served to keep the summer heat at bay. Though they had all agreed to hunt together, Sully was the only one who truly wanted to be there.

When they reached an area where the animals often came to feed, they each tied their horses to a separate tree and continued the rest of the way on foot. Both Sully and Running Wolf walked side by side, neither one assuming the lead. When Sully slowed his steps to give Brian time to catch up to them, Running Wolf took the lead, guiding the group into the woods. Sully followed close behind, examining the ground as they walked. Brian remained further back, trailing the two of them by several yards. They walked along in silence, quietly studying their surroundings until a western meadowlark broke their concentration with his song. But for their breathing, and the crackle of their shoes on the path, the land was still.

"I think we'll have better luck if we go that way," Sully whispered, breaking the silence as he pointed off to the right.

"No, I do not agree," Running Wolf said. "We will find turkeys in this direction." He pointed the opposite way, confident in his powers of observation and in his knowledge of the habits of the wild creatures of the land.

"How do you know?" Brian asked. "There's no tracks." He had been listening to the conversation, having no opinion about which direction to head.

"It is difficult to find tracks in the long grass," Running Wolf replied, pointing toward the left. "Over here, the grass is bent in a way suggesting a turkey passed through. I believe we will see the tracks as soon as the dirt path resumes."

"There's rabbit over that way. I saw tracks," Sully said, in a more determined voice. "We don't know it was a turkey that bent the grass. It could've been a squirrel."

Running Wolf turned to Brian with a glint in his eye. "What would you rather have for supper? Turkey or rabbit?"

"Turkey," Brian replied, not meaning to take sides. "But, we don't know for sure if they're that way. We know there are rabbits if we go Sully's way."

"I will lead you to a turkey."

Sully wasn't convinced by Running Wolf's confidence. It struck him as stubborn competitiveness rather than genuine knowledge. At the same time, he knew that the Indians had been tracking and hunting on the land for generations. As much as he had learned from the Cheyenne, he knew there was even more he didn't know. "We'll go your way," Sully agreed at last.

Surprise cut through the awkwardness between them. Running Wolf expected Sully to put up more of an argument. He hadn't met many white men who listened to the Indians, who didn't think they knew better. Of course, there was one who valued his skills, but to this day Running Wolf wished he never met him. With Sully, it was different. He wasn't patronizing him and he didn't want anything from him. It seemed he had genuine respect for Indian ways from his years of living with the Cheyenne. As hard as he tried, it was a respect that Running Wolf couldn't deny.

"You won't be disappointed," Running Wolf replied, a slight grin on his face. "Our wives will prepare a turkey feast for us this evening."

Brian snickered under his breath and shared a humorous glance with Sully. For all of their sakes, he hoped that Night Crane was a better cook than his mother. Running Wolf noticed their amused exchange, without understanding the cause. The men started off again in the direction Running Wolf indicated. Once again, Sully walked beside him hoping to engage the Indian in conversation while Brian lagged behind.

Brian was distracted by the confusing thoughts swirling around his head. He had hoped this trip would give him time to think about what he wanted to do with his life. Dorothy was right in her observation that he was restless in Colorado Springs. He wanted to do more than work at the Gazette and submit occasional articles to papers in Denver and back east.

One moment, he wanted to take some time to travel, in order to see new places and learn first-hand about the changes occurring in the country. The next moment, he didn't want to leave Sarah or his family. He wondered how he would make his decision. Dorothy told him to follow his heart. The problem was his heart was in two places. He was looking forward to visiting with Cloud Dancing. Perhaps he could help him decide his path.

The two skilled hunters walked together for a long time without exchanging a word. Sully could sense Running Wolf's discomfort and he assumed that it came from having known no white people apart from the Army soldiers who hunted down his people. If his experience mirrored that of the Cheyenne Sully knew, then it was no wonder he was cautious. Occasionally, Sully would look back at Brian wondering why he kept lagging behind them. After the third time Sully looked back, Brian caught up to them.

"I can hardly keep up with you two," Brian said, joining them. Sully knew that wasn't true, but he let it go. "Have you seen any turkeys yet?" Brian asked, trying to appear natural and engaged.

"Not yet," Sully said, unable to hide the skepticism in his voice.

"It takes patience," Running Wolf replied. He directed his remark at Sully, in response to his challenge. "It is important to only take the male. This is their breeding season. Killing a female might mean taking an entire family along with next years turkeys," he explained, assuming these white men were ignorant of the ways of nature.

Sully bristled at having his knowledge and respect for living creatures questioned. However, he realized he needed to be tolerant of Running Wolf. Most white men he knew would take any turkey they found, without regard to the breeding season. Silence fell upon the group as they walked with their heads down in search of turkey tracks.

"Have you and your family been traveling long?" Brian asked, breaking the silence.

"A while." He was vague.

"I was up in Montana with the Northern Cheyenne almost two years ago. Don't remember seein' you," Sully said.

"I was not there," he said simply, his eyes focused on the ground.

"Were you on another reservation?" Brian persisted.

"We have been many places. Now we choose to live with Night Crane's relatives. It is our desire for New Promise to learn the ways of his Cheyenne grandfathers."

As he listened to his words, Sully confirmed his suspicion that Running Wolf wasn't Cheyenne. He was curious which tribe he was from, but since he hadn't answered any of their other questions, he didn't think he'd tell him. It was common for the tribes to intermarry, especially these days with the tribes mixing on reservations. When they did, it was also customary for the family to join the wife's tribe.

"How is Josef?" Running Wolf asked. It was an attempt to steer the conversation away from him.

"It's been rough on him lately. It'll take time," Sully replied, his eyes still peeled on the ground.

"I have watched him. His spirit is heavy," Running Wolf told him.

"What do you mean?" Brian asked.

Sully continued to walk straight ahead, fully aware of Running Wolf's meaning.

"It is important for him to speak of it. Only by facing his burden will he be able to make it smaller," Running Wolf replied, not knowing whether he was speaking of the boy or himself now.

Sully knew he had spoken the truth. He also suspected that Running Wolf's words reflected deep personal experience with the weight of heavy burdens. As the Indian spoke, Sully thought he recognized a flicker of something familiar in his eyes. It was something haunting and empty, and it reminded Sully of a time he tried to forget. When not on guard, Sully thought he saw his shoulders sag, as if being dragged down. Whatever his burden, it seemed to weigh heavy on his spirit, too.

Brian pondered the Indian's words as he glanced between his father and Running Wolf. It was true that Josef hadn't been himself since getting lost. He was less talkative, irritable at times, and he clung to Katie more than usual. Brian thought his behavior was in reaction to Wolf's death and having gotten lost. Now he began to wonder if something more was affecting him. Even more peculiar was that Sully didn't seem surprised by Running Wolf's observation. He wondered if Sully knew something he didn't.

For Brian, the journalist in him needed to piece together the clues, and the brother in him was concerned for his younger sibling. As soon as he got the chance, he vowed he would speak to his brother. Brian walked along, deep in thought, when he noticed a faint imprint in the dirt.

"Hey, over here," he said, in a hushed tone. "A turkey was here a little while ago."

Sully and Running Wolf hurried over to examine the track. Sully confirmed the track first, feeling both surprised and humbled. "It's a turkey all right."

Running Wolf crouched down to observe the track, running his hand over the imprint in the dirt. "He's a big one, an older one, too, I'd venture."

The three men walked as quietly as possible, through the woods, in pursuit of their supper. Each one had their eyes peeled on the tracks and the surrounding area, looking and listening for any sign of the turkey.

Sully spotted the bird first. He used hand signals to alert the others to the location of the prey. Running Wolf and Brian watched the turkey peacefully eating behind a nearby bush. Sully signaled for Running Wolf to take the bird. The Indian was moved by Sully's show of respect. It was an unwritten rule among hunters for the person who first spotted the prey to take it. By that rule, it should have been Sully's bird. But, Sully knew they would be eating rabbit for supper if he had prevailed. In all respects, it was Running Wolf's turkey.

As Running Wolf readied his bow, the crack of a twig startled the bird causing him to look around in distress. The three of them held their breath, fearing he would run. Hearing no other sound, the turkey returned to his meal. Running Wolf placed an arrow in his bow, aimed, and let go. He hit it in one smooth motion. Then all three of them ran toward the dead bird to collect their supper.

Sully was the first to congratulate him with a pat on the back. "Good job."

"He's a big one," Brian said, impressed.

"We make a good team," Running Wolf said sincerely, before swinging the bird over his shoulder. The three men then headed back to camp just as the sun was about to pull the curtains on the day.

* * *

For the first time since they had agreed to travel together, both families were seated around the campfire. The atmosphere was relaxed as they all enjoyed a delicious supper. 

"Mmm…, the turkey's real good Michaela," Sully said, taking another bite of food.

"Thank you," she replied. "But, most of the credit belongs to Night Crane. She seasoned it and made sure I didn't overcook it."

Sully nodded his approval in the direction of the younger woman, and he received a small smile in return.

"Which one of you do we have to thank for bringing back such a large bird," Night Crane asked, flashing a knowing smile at her husband.

"It was a team effort," Running Wolf replied, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.

"Running Wolf got it," Brian supplied, moved by the bond he saw between the couple.

"But, you were the first one to spot the tracks," he amended.

Sully listened, impressed by Running Wolf's willingness to share credit. The Indian still remained an enigma to him, though he felt they made slight progress this afternoon in cracking his hard exterior.

"My father was the best hunter in his whole village," Eyes Like the Sky said, pride evident in his voice.

Running Wolf laughed softly. "My son exaggerates."

"Oh yeah, well my papa's the best tracker in the whole town," Josef added, before taking a mouthful of food.

Sully was amused by his son's competitive streak. "I learned trackin' from the Cheyenne, Joe. Ya won't find better hunters an' trackers than the Indians."

"When my father was a boy, he went out on hunting parties to kill buffalo," Eyes Like the Sky added in their little game of one-upmanship.

"You went on Buffalo hunts?" Brian asked Running Wolf. He had only heard about the great buffalo hunts, but he had never seen one.

"Yes," Running Wolf replied. He leaned back and titled his head to the sky allowing the memories to wash over him. "Nothing compares to a buffalo hunt. You can feel the rumble of the earth in the pit of your stomach as hundreds of buffalo move together in a sea of brown." He lowered his head to see if the group was interested in his story. He smiled when he saw all eyes focused on him. "I remember the last hunt I went on. There were about forty of us, the best hunters in our village. We rode toward the herd with our hair and feathers blowing all around us. We fired shots and yelled battle cries, when the buffalo, hearing our approach, scattered in all directions. I don't think there's another sound equal to the pounding of hooves on the ground as they flee the approaching hunters. It sounded like all the drums in our village were beating at once. My whole body shook from the vibration. We managed to split off about twelve buffalo from the herd and surround them so they couldn't charge us. One by one, they dropped to the ground. We brought home enough meat for the winter and celebrated long into the night."

"I hope to go on buffalo hunts when I'm older," Eyes Like the Sky announced.

"Can I go, too, Papa?" Josef asked, riveted by the story.

"Why do you want to kill buffalo," Katie said, repulsed.

"I'm afraid there's no more buffalo 'round these parts ta hunt," Sully sadly told them. His eyes became remote as he recalled the senseless killing of the buffalo by Rankin and others from the railroad.

Running Wolf's fork froze in mid-air over his plate. "No buffalo?"

"The railroad slaughtered most of the buffalo so they could build the tracks for the train," Dorothy explained.

"Do you still have many up North?" Michaela asked, as she began to gather the plates, scraping the left over food into the fire.

"Less than we used to," Running Wolf answered. "But we had enough to feed the people."

"How much do ya know 'bout Darlington?" Sully asked, concerned they were unprepared for the reservation they were moving to.

"We know our people live there. That is all we need to know," Night Crane answered, as she helped Michaela collect the plates.

Michaela poured water into the pot for coffee. Then she turned toward the children. "I think it's time for the two of you to go to bed."

"Mama, can Eyes Like the Sky sleep in our tent tonight?" Katie asked.

Michaela turned toward Night Crane. "It's all right with me as long as you don't mind."

"I don't know," Night Crane answered, searching for a reason to say no. "We…we must be up early."

"Please," Josef begged. "We'll be good."

"Nahko'e."

Night Crane found it hard to resist her son's plea, especially given how easily her son had made friends with these white children. They seemed to accept him. "Very well, you may sleep in the tent with the other children," she told her son.

"Papa, can you tell us a story first?" Josef asked, trying his best to postpone going to bed.

"Night Crane is right. We all need to be up early tomorrow," Michaela said, reaching for her children's hands. "You can hear stories another night."

"Please," Katie pleaded. "I'm not tired."

Michaela turned toward Sully for support. The look in his eyes told her he wanted to give in to them. After all, they were on vacation. "All right, one story," she said, surrendering.

"Yeah!" the children cried out in unison. Katie and Josef settled in on either side of their father. Eyes Like the Sky sat next to his mother. Michaela took a seat next to Katie. Night Crane held New Promise in her lap as he slept.

"What do ya wanna hear?" Sully asked.

"Something new," Katie said, leaning her head against her mother's shoulder.

"Why don't Runnin' Wolf tell us a story," Sully suggested. "I bet he knows stories we haven't heard."

"Have you heard the story of the great race?" Running Wolf asked the children.

"We know that one," Josef said.

"How about the story of the white buffalo?"

"Is that Running Ghost?" Katie asked.

"You know that one, too. You are better versed in Cheyenne stories than I am," Running Wolf quipped, eyeing Sully. He still didn't know what to make of him. Fear prevented him from trusting what his eyes and ears told him. "You tell your children Cheyenne stories?"

Sully nodded as he poured a cup of coffee for himself and Michaela. "My spirit goes with the Cheyenne," he replied softly.

Michaela draped her arm around Katie's shoulder. "We want our children to learn about the people who mean so much to us. It's our way of keeping the Cheyenne alive," she added, accepting the cup from Sully.

"We tell 'em fairy tales, too," Sully supplied. "The kind Michaela grew up with."

Running Wolf turned to his wife. "Since the children know so many Cheyenne stories, why don't you read them a story out of that book you're so fond of?"

Night Crane considered his request for a moment. "I'll get it," she said, placing the baby in his father's arms and rising to retrieve the book from her bundle. She returned right away carrying a well-worn volume under her arm.

"Aesop's Fables!" Michaela exclaimed, noticing the title of the book. "They were my favorite bedtime stories as a child. Our children enjoy them as well. How did you learn about them?"

"They used this book to teach us English while we were at the Army school," Night Crane said.

"Where was that?" Michaela asked.

"Camp Supply," she replied, averting her eyes.

Sully turned sharply in her direction. Camp Supply was where they had taken the Cheyenne prisoners after Washita. Others had probably gone there, too. "When were you at Camp Supply?"

"A long time ago," she answered, as she leafed through the pages of the book for an appropriate story. She continued to speak, afraid that any silence would encourage further probing into her past. "I resisted reading the white man's books at first, but I have found that these tales remind me of the stories of my people. It is similar to the way we teach our children lessons on how to live."

"Indeed. I can see the similarities," Michaela agreed.

"I found one." Night Crane began to read from her book. "A jackdaw looked down on its fellows because it happened to be bigger than any of them. So it joined the crows and asked to be allowed to live with them. But as its appearance and voice were unfamiliar, the crows knocked it about and chivvied it off. Whereupon it returned to the daws. Indignant, however, at the way it had insulted them; they would not have it back. Thus, it found itself banished from the society of both."

"I don't get it," Josef blurted.

"Well," his mother began. "The fable is about getting the worst of both worlds."

"What does that mean?" Eyes Like the Sky asked.

"When you look down upon your own people and try to join a different world, those people may look down upon you. If you later try to return to your own people, they, in turn, may reject you for treating them badly. The lesson is that when you look down on where you came from, in the end, you are alone." Night Crane explained.

Running Wolf stared hard at his wife wondering why she chose this fable. He shuddered at how the jackdaw's life resembled his own. For the second time today, Sully noticed the haunted look in his eyes. He was even more curious about the path that led to his decision to move his family to Darlington.

"Read another one," Eyes Like the Sky asked.

"It is time for all of us to go to sleep," Night Crane answered, before rising to her feet.

Brian stretched his arms out to his side and yawned. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

"I'm tired, too," Dorothy added.

"Everyone is," Michaela said as she rose and took Katie and Josef by the hand.

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it!!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and The Sullivan Company._

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Eleven**

"Nice night. How 'bout a walk?" Sully suggested after the children were asleep.

"Now?" Michaela questioned, as she laid their bedrolls on the ground.

Sully moved closer to her and reached for her arm. "Now."

"We can't possibly," she said, moving away from him to finish preparing their bed for the night.

"Why not?"

She knelt to straighten one end of the bedroll. "I'm not comfortable leaving the children. What if they wake up? Katie told me that Josef has been having nightmares."

Sully followed her as she continued to straighten and position the bedrolls then finally placed his hand on her shoulder to still her. "Michaela, the kids'll be fine. They're safe here. They stayed up later than usual hearin' stories and talkin' in the tent. They're not gonna wake up. But if they do, Brian and Dorothy are here. 'Sides, I wanna talk ta ya 'bout somethin'."

She looked into his eyes with concern. "What?"

"It's a beautiful night." Sully held out his hand, beckoning her to join him. "How 'bout a moonlit stroll with your husband?"

"What do you want to speak with me about?"

Sully stood, holding her with his eyes, not speaking, just waiting and hoping she would give in.

Michaela gazed into his eyes, marveling at how easily he could weaken her resolve, even after all these years. She walked toward his outstretched hand. "A walk sounds delightful," she said with a grin.

Together they walked toward the woods holding hands. The cool, crisp night provided a welcome respite from the heat of the summer day. On the way past the wagon, Sully dropped her hand to grab a blanket and draped it over his arm. They continued to walk side by side in companionable silence, listening to the sounds of the night. They heard the crickets, the wind rustling the leaves, the squirrels scampering up and down the trees, a coyote howling in the distance, and a night bird calling to its mate. Listening to the familiar sounds reminded them of home, and for a moment, they could forget the disturbing events of the past few days.

"It's so quiet and peaceful. I'm glad you suggested we do this," Michaela said, as she and Sully traversed a winding path through the woods.

Sully slipped his hand into hers and felt her fingers close warmly around his in response. "Hasn't been much time for just us lately, has there?"

"No, I'm afraid not," she replied, stepping closer to him. She let go of his hand and placed her arm around his waist. "What do you think of Running Wolf and Night Crane?" Michaela asked, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Don't know yet." Sully was enjoying this rare time alone with his wife and he didn't want to talk about the Indian couple just yet, at least not until he could sort out his own feelings about them. The tension between him and Running Wolf had dissipated some, especially during supper, and while Sully was growing fond of him and his family, there was an uncertainty about them that gnawed at him. It made him uncomfortable and a little ashamed.

"I've never seen blue eyes on an Indian child before," Michaela remarked, ducking her head under a low hanging branch.

"My guess is he's half white."

Michaela gave him a startled look. "I hadn't considered that. He looks Indian in every other way. You don't believe he's Running Wolf's son?"

"Not by blood anyway," he said. They continued to walk, Sully's arm around her shoulder and Michaela's arm around his waist, until they reached a clearing sheltered by a large grove of aspen trees. He reluctantly broke their contact to lay the blanket in front of the trees so they could sit and look up at the moonlit sky. Michaela stood in the clearing, staring out into the darkness of the horizon at the stars in all their silver extravagance. Sully slowly came up from behind to enfold her in his arms, his cheek resting against hers. "This is nice," he whispered.

"Mmm." She leaned back against him, comforted by the reassuring warmth of his encircling arms. "Sully, what did you want to speak with me about?"

Sully lifted her hair and moved it to one side so he could kiss the nape of her neck. Here, in the peaceful tranquility of the woods, he wasn't at all sure he still wanted to talk with her. It would be far more pleasurable to stand here holding and kissing his wife instead of telling her something that was sure to make her angry and spoil their special moment together. But, he needed to tell her; he had waited too long already. Bracing himself for her inevitable denial, he inhaled deeply and momentarily rested his chin on her shoulder. After another moment, he reached for her hand, and guided her to the blanket, motioning for her to sit down. When she was seated, he took a seat in front of her, crossing his legs and placing his hands on his knees. Now, face to face, he was content to let the silence stretch out between them for a few more moments.

Michaela sensed his discomfort. "Sully, what is it?"

Reaching for her hand, he took another deep breath, girding himself for Michaela's reaction. "It's about the day Wolf died." He lowered his eyes to the blanket, unable to fully grasp that he was gone. With a soft sigh, he raised them again to meet hers. "When I followed Wolf's tracks ta the cougar den…I saw…" He averted his eyes again. "I saw Josef's tracks." Bringing his eyes back to hers, he was disturbed that he couldn't read the expression on her face. "Michaela, Josef was with Wolf when he got attacked."

"No, that can't be." Michaela bolted to her feet, her head heavy with shock. She couldn't accept that her son had lied to her or that he had wandered off when she specifically told him not to venture further than the log. "Sully, that's impossible. Josef was playing on the log all afternoon. When I followed Wolf's tracks, I didn't see Josef's tracks."

Sully rose to his feet after her. "The cougar den wasn't that far from the log. Something might've caught his attention, causin' him ta wander off."

"But, I told him to stay there," she said weakly, not wanting to believe her son had disobeyed her and lied about it.

Sully stepped closer to his wife, placing a hand on her shoulder. Speaking directly to her, he looked deep into her eyes. "Kids don't always listen, 'specially if somethin' catches their eye. This ain't your fault Michaela. Ya thought you knew where he was. Josef should have stayed put."

"What do you think happened?"

Sully swallowed hard. "I don't exactly know, but whatever happened, Joe feels real guilty 'bout it. He thinks Wolf's death is his fault. That's why he wanted ta go back ta the grave."

Michaela paced a few steps away, her whole body humming with denial. "I don't believe it. I can't fathom Josef being with Wolf at the den of a wild animal. Perhaps you're mistaken."

As Sully watched the maelstrom of emotions move across her face, he reached for her hand. "You think I wanna be right about this, Michaela? I kept goin' over other possibilities in my head, only there weren't any. His tracks picked up later an' I followed 'em ta the den. The only thing that _does_ make sense is that Josef was with Wolf."

"It doesn't make sense to me. He wouldn't go off on his own to a cougar den. He just wouldn't." Michaela pulled her hand away and for a long moment fought to hold back angry tears. "Why didn't you tell me when you first saw his tracks? How could you fail to tell me that our son might have witnessed Wolf's violent death or…or worse?" She couldn't bring herself to give voice to the notion that Josef's own life might have been in danger.

Sully stopped her from walking off by gently tugging on her sleeve. "'Cause I wasn't sure. I thought they were his tracks, but I wasn't thinkin' clear that day. It didn't make sense ta upset you if I was wrong. I wanted ta sort it all out first."

"So how can you be certain now?" Her skeptical tone communicated her denial.

"When I saw Joe's tracks, I tried denyin' what I saw. Told myself I was tired, upset over Wolf, not thinkin' clear. I worked real hard ta come up with any reason other than the truth 'bout what they were. There just weren't any. When we got Joe back, I tried ta talk ta him about the tracks. He wouldn't admit he was there, but he got real uncomfortable. That's when I knew for sure."

"Sully, Josef's never lied to us before."

"I know," he quietly agreed. "Whatever happened, he's too scared ta tell us the truth."

"If this is true, we have to speak with him. I need to hear it from Josef." Michaela began to walk back toward the blanket, but Sully reached for her hand to stop her from leaving.

"I don't think we should go ta him right away."

"Sully, we can't ignore this."

"No, we can't. But, Joe knows I know. He's been doin' his best ta avoid me since I talked ta him. I want 'im ta think about it and come to us on his own. He'll figure out the right thing ta do. We just need to give 'im time."

Her head shook from side to side in a rapid, agitated motion. "No, I think we need to talk to him right away. This is very serious, Sully. If Josef witnessed Wolf's death, it must have been traumatic for him. He needs our help." She turned her back on him and walked over to the blanket, preparing to head back to camp.

Sully followed her, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her around to face him. "Don't ya think I know it's serious?" he said, his voice rising. "Michaela, it's not gonna do any good ta push 'im into a corner. He's not gonna tell us the truth 'til he's ready."

"We can tell him we know he was there. He'll have to tell us what happened."

"I pretty much did that. We can't force 'im ta talk 'til he's ready."

Michaela lowered her eyes to the ground. "What if he's never ready?"

Sully placed his thumb under her chin and lifted her head to face him. "He will be. We have to trust him."

"I'm not comfortable with this, Sully. Why should we trust him when he lied to us? I think we should speak with him as soon as possible."

"Let's give it another day. If he hasn't come to us by then, we can talk ta him together."

"I don't know."

"Another day, Michaela."

Michaela gave him a reluctant look of surrender. "All right, one more day."

"Promise me ya won't go sayin' somethin' on your own."

Michaela turned his request over in her mind. Every impulse told her to approach Josef at first light. But Sully usually had good instincts about how to handle a situation with the children. She remembered how she had spoiled the charm Brian made to protect him from Dead Red by telling him it wouldn't work. She also remembered Sully's advice to the contrary. As she recalled, ruining Brian's faith in the charm only increased his fears. "I promise," she finally said. "But only if you promise that we'll go to him together if he hasn't come to us first."

"Promise." Sully took her hands and gestured toward the blanket. "How 'bout we sit for a bit? I haven't had ya all ta myself in a while."

Feeling stunned by what she had learned about her son tonight, Michaela could only nod in agreement. Together they sat down on the blanket next to each other. After a few moments Sully spoke, "Now come closer ta me. There's a chill in the air."

Michaela remained still. "All we've done lately is quarrel."

Sully moved closer to her and gently ran his palm up her back. "That's not all we've done," he said kissing her cheek. "'Sides, it's time we made up." He maneuvered Michaela to sit between his legs with her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and he felt her lean into his chest. They rocked back and forth in a gentle motion for several minutes. Sully noticed Michaela bring her hand up to her face and he knew she was crying.

"Michaela, it's gonna be all right." Sully said, as he tenderly squeezed her shoulder.

She brushed her tears away with the back of her hand. "He could have been killed Sully."

He held her closer. "I know."

They sat wrapped in each other's arms for a long while, each of them grateful Josef was back with them safe and sound. They were content to sit like this all night, feeling the warmth of their arms linked together and their bodies close.

"I should've told ya sooner," Sully said, lightly brushing his lips against her temple.

Michaela turned slightly to face him. "I wish you had, but I understand that you wanted to be certain."

"I love you," he said, relieved that the issue of Josef's tracks was no longer a secret between them. Turning her face to his, he began to place feather light kisses on her eyelids, face, and throat. Sully brought his hand to her shoulder then down the length of her arm in a gentle caress.

Michaela shifted her body completely around and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you." As Sully continued to ply her with feather light touches and soft kisses, her body began to warm. She wanted to continue the discussion of their troubled son, but she was losing focus. "Earlier today…uh…Night Crane told me she thought Josef seemed burdened."

"Hmm," he acknowledged, shifting his focus away from their son and toward his wife, satisfied with the plan they had agreed upon for dealing with him. His hands caressed her shoulders and upper arms, massaging her muscles and kissing the side of her neck until she shuddered and sighed. He leaned forward very slowly, cradling her head in his hand, and kissed her. The kiss was soft and leisurely and perfect.

Sully pulled back to look at her, lightly tracing her lips with his fingertips. "No more talkin'. Not tonight. No worries, no children, no Runnin' Wolf an' Night Crane. It's just us." When Sully drew her in tighter, gently rocking her in his arms, he felt Michaela relax in his embrace. Sully brushed the hair back from her face and smiled. He pulled her closer and trailed kisses from her neck to the hollow of her throat as his hands roamed the length of her torso. When their lips met again with greater urgency, he began to undo the buttons on her blouse.

Michaela broke off the kiss and pulled away. "Sully!"

"What?" He answered, breathless.

"We can't. Not here."

He ran his fingers across her jaw in a featherlike caress. "Why not?"

"Uh…uh," she stammered.

Sully gave her a loving smile. "It's not the first time we've been together in the woods, Michaela." He pulled her close again and resumed his tender kisses and caresses.

"No…it…isn't," she said, losing herself in his kisses. "But…but, we're not alone out here. Someone might walk by. And Josef might need us. We really should head back."

Sully reached for her hand and brought it to his lips as his eyes locked with hers. "Everyone's sleepin'. No one's gonna walk by." He kissed her hand again. "Joe's sleepin'." And, as if to place an exclamation point on the evening, he kissed her hand again. "I miss ya."

"I miss you, too," she replied.

Sully brought his hands to her blouse and undid the first button. He separated the material and kissed the bare flesh where the garment had been. Slowly, he undid the next button, pausing for another kiss, and the next, his eyes focused only on Michaela.

Lost in her husband's kisses and his deep blue gaze, she no longer remembered why she thought they should stop. The truth was she didn't want him to stop. She put all her unsettled thoughts aside to focus on her husband's face and his fingers, nimble and knowing, as he undressed her.

Sully grinned at having quieted her protests. He pulled her to his chest as he whispered secret words of love into her ear, words that were hers alone. She burrowed deeper into his arms, surrendering to the touch of him, the smell of him, and the passion he was alighting within her. Michaela slid her hand into the open throat of his shirt, her fingers caressing his chest, delicately weaving through the hair, until her palm came to rest against his heart. She lifted her face to kiss him, first his forehead, then his eyelids, his temples, lingering on his mouth. The kiss started softly, but rapidly deepened as both of them hungered for this reawakening of their mutual desire.

As the kiss grew more ardent, Sully slowly drew them both down to the blanket. His warm and firm palms smoothed her skin, defining the shape of her body. In no time, they were rolling around on the blanket, exploring each other's bodies as if they needed to touch each other everywhere at once. Only the towering aspens and the woodland's nighttime creatures were witnesses to their secret rendezvous.

* * *

Early the next morning, the campsite was bustling with activity. Sully was loading the wagon while Michaela and Dorothy dismantled the children's tent, folded it, and set it next to the bedrolls and other supplies lined up waiting to be loaded. Running Wolf and Night Crane were placing supplies onto their travois on the other side of the campground. On the perimeter, Katie and Eyes Like the Sky were picking wild raspberries for the ride ahead. 

Brian was putting out the fires when he noticed that Josef wasn't with the other children. Concerned, he scanned the campground until his eyes fell on the figure of his little brother sitting alone. Josef's back was to him, seated under the shade of a big spruce tree. Brian looked hard at him, but he couldn't figure out what he was doing so far away from the others. After a while, he noticed the way his right hand moved at his side suggesting he was drawing.

Ever since the hunting trip, Brian had become increasingly concerned about Josef. Lately, he noticed that his little brother had been uncharacteristically withdrawn and irritable. As a sensitive child, Brian knew Josef felt things more acutely than other children his age. He expected him to be upset over Wolf's death and shaken after being lost in the woods. Running Wolf's comment of the other day, followed by the lack of reaction from Sully had Brian wondering if something more wasn't affecting him. Now seemed like a good time to speak with him. Slowly, Brian approached his brother from behind.

"Hey, Joey," he said. "What are you drawing?"

Startled, Josef quickly wiped his eyes and snapped his notebook shut. "Nothin'."

Brian leaned over him. "It looks like something to me." He reached out for the notebook. "Can I take a look? You know how much I like your drawings."

Josef shook his head, clutching the notebook to his chest. "I'm not done."

Seeing how agitated Josef was, he backed off. "All right. But, just so you know, I can't wait to see them when you're done." Brian took a seat beside Josef on a soft bed of fallen pine needles, both of them remaining quiet for several long moments. "Joe, is something wrong?"

"No." Josef held his pencil in a vice-like grip.

Brian placed his arm around his brother's shoulder. "You don't seem like yourself lately. I know getting lost must have scared you. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"It's not that."

"Then, what is it?" Brian asked, as he squeezed his brother's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

Josef felt his brother's calming hand on his shoulder and thought for a long moment. He wanted to tell him about what he had done to Wolf. He wanted to tell someone, but he couldn't. "It's nothing."

Brian could feel the tension in his brother's back and shoulders. "You know, Josef, when you keep something inside, it has a way of rattling around in your head, growing bigger and bigger, 'till you think it's the biggest thing in the world. The only way to make it smaller is to tell someone."

Josef didn't respond. This _was_ the biggest thing in the whole world. He wished Brian were right, but he knew there was no way to make this smaller.

Brian pivoted to face him. "Joe, you're worrying me. I know something's bothering you. I'd like to help. I won't tell Ma and Pa if that's what you're scared about. This can be just between us, like when I took you exploring in the treasure cave."

Josef's eyes searched the campground to make sure his parents weren't watching or could overhear them. "Just you an' me?"

"Yeah, just you and me. What do ya say?"

Josef warmed to the idea of sharing his burden with his brother. He trusted Brian and felt safer confiding in him than his parents.

"Nothing is as bad as you think it is," Brian said, urging him to open up.

"This is," he murmured in a low voice.

Brian had to strain to hear him. "What is?"

Josef swallowed hard, his eyes welling with tears. "I…I killed Wolf." There, he said it. It felt good to say the words, as if a huge boulder had been lifted from his back. Now he only hoped the weight of his words wouldn't fall back down and crush him.

Brian placed his hand on Josef's back. "Joe, Wolf's death wasn't your fault. He was protecting us. He was too old to fight off that cougar. You're not to blame. No one is."

Josef fixed his eyes on the pine needles that lay like a skirt around the base of the tree. "That's not what really happened," he said, barely audible.

"What do you mean that's not what happened?"

"I…I…, Josef began, wrapping his arms around his body and wishing he could disappear inside himself.

"Joe?"

"I…didn't tell…it all," he stammered.

Brian placed his fingers under Josef's chin and tilted the boy's head to face him. He looked him square in the eye. "Josef, I need to know what really happened." His tone was firm and serious.

"I lied," Josef admitted, hoping he wouldn't have to explain the details.

Brian turned around and could see his parents continuing to load the supplies for their trip. It was clear his brother had something important to tell him and he needed to do it out of earshot of the others. "Joe, we're gonna take a walk." Brian stood, helped his brother to his feet and took his hand.

"Where?"

"Just a little ways, so we can talk." When they were out of sight of the others, Brian knelt down and faced his brother, his hand on his shoulder. "Joe, you know better than to lie."

Tears filled the little boy's eyes. "I know," he choked out. "I didn't want Papa to know what I did. He's gonna hate me." After revealing his worst fear, he broke down and cried.

Brian put his arms around him and held him as he cried. "Shh, it's gonna be all right," the older brother soothed. The little boy's cries intensified. "Joe, Pa's not gonna hate you. There's nothing you could do to make him stop loving you or any of us. You gotta believe that."

Josef continued to cry, clutching his brother's shirt. His sobs grew louder and he had trouble catching his breath.

"Joe, it'll be all right. But you have to tell me what happened."

Josef brushed his knuckles against his eyes and took several stuttering breaths before speaking. "I was…I was playin' in the log with Wolf. We was trakin' robbers." Josef swallowed to catch his breath, wiping his eyes again with the back of his hand. "I saw real tracks. I…I wanted to know what it was. I wanted to show Papa I could follow tracks like him."

Brian sat in the grass with Josef in front of him afraid of where this was heading. "What happened next?" His voice was calm and soothing.

"I saw…I saw two baby animals playing. Brian, I only looked. I didn't touch 'em or nothin'." He hesitated again and looked up at his brother. Brian nodded for him to continue. "Then I saw this big cat. It flew in the air right at me. All I remember is I covered my eyes and ran. From behind me I heard fighting and then it just stopped. I ran back to camp as fast as I could. I thought Wolf was following me. I didn't know he got killed." Josef put his head in his hands.

The meaning of Josef's story began to sink in. If Wolf hadn't been there, the cougar would have killed Josef. Wolf died saving his life. Brian hardly knew how to respond. He brought Josef into his lap, wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. "Josef, Wolf's death wasn't your fault."

"I…I shouldn't have followed the tracks," he said. His voice was little more than a whisper.

"Maybe not, but Wolf was protecting you. He saw that as his job. He would have done it for any of us. If Wolf hadn't gone after that cougar, it might have…" Brian couldn't finish the words.

"He saved my life." That thought hadn't occurred to Josef until now.

"Yeah, he did." Brian continued to rub the little boy's back, ensuring him he was safe and loved.

"And I got him killed," Josef said, his hot tears falling fast down his face. He didn't think it was possible to feel worse, but he did. "Wolf tried to warn me. I thought he was playing, but he was barking at me to turn around. Papa told me to listen to Wolf and I didn't listen. I didn't listen, Brian." He buried his face in his hands. "I…I killed him," he choked out between muffled sobs.

"No, you didn't. Wolf was old, Joe. He couldn't fight like he used to. Maybe you shouldn't have followed the tracks, but what happened was an accident. We can't know what's gonna happen. Since you saw the tracks at the log, it's possible you might have met up with the cougar even if you hadn't followed them. The cougar might have come back to the log. Either way, Wolf still would have protected you. You gotta stop blaming yourself."

"I can't."

"Let me tell you something that happened when I was only a few years older than you."

Josef turned slightly to look up at his brother's face. "What?"

"Do you remember hearing about Ingrid?"

Josef shrugged his shoulders. "Kind of."

"Well, Matthew was going to marry Ingrid. Then, about a month before the wedding, my wolf, Pup, bit her. A few weeks after that, she died." Brian still felt sadness from the memory.

Josef's eyes widened. "She died?"

"Yeah. A raccoon that had rabies bit Pup. Pa went to track the raccoon to be sure. In the meantime, we had to keep Pup locked up to watch for signs of the sickness. I felt so bad for Pup that I stayed with him night and day. Just like you didn't think anything bad could happen if you followed the tracks, I didn't think Pup would get rabies. I was so sure of it that I didn't take the risk seriously enough." Brian paused to take a deep breath before continuing, chilled by the memory.

"One day when Matthew and Ingrid were over, Pup knocked over his water. Ingrid went into the pen to refill it. She was trying to be nice to Pup. Pa told us not to go near Pup, but Ingrid thought she could do it. And I let her do it. When Ingrid went into the pen, Pup bit her. A few weeks later, Ingrid got rabies and died. For a long time, I blamed myself for her death. I kept replaying everything over in my mind. I never should have let Ingrid go into the pen. When the water spilled, I should have gotten Pa. Just like you, I wanted to go back and fix it, but I couldn't. No matter how much I wished I had done something different, Ingrid still died. I know how you feel Joe, because it was the same for me. I felt like everyone blamed me. I didn't think Matthew was ever going to forgive me. You know what Pa told me?"

"What?"

"He told me it wasn't anyone's fault. That it was a bad accident. He told me that blaming wasn't gonna fix anything. It would only keep hurting us. I felt bad for a long time, but I finally accepted that Ingrid dying wasn't my fault."

"But _this_ is my fault."

"Joe, Wolf's death was a bad accident. You made a mistake. We all do. Now you gotta learn from it."

Josef buried his face in Brian's shirt again. "I feel so bad. I wish it never happened."

"I know you do," Brian told him as he stroked his hair. "None of us can do over our mistakes. Josef, Pa's not gonna stop loving you, just like Matthew didn't stop loving me."

The little boy looked up into his older brother's eyes. "You sure?"

Brian squeezed him tight. "I'm sure. But, I do know that Pa's gonna be upset you lied. You have to tell him the truth."

Josef hugged his brother even tighter and remained silent for another moment. "He knows I was there."

Brian pulled back to look at Josef, surprised. "How?"

"He saw my tracks."

"Then, it's even more important that you tell him what happened."

"But he already knows."

"He needs to hear it from you, Joe. If you want Pa to trust you again, you gotta tell him the truth."

Josef thought about his brother's words. He didn't want to lose his father's trust. "Okay…I'll…I'll tell."

"Promise me you'll tell Ma and Pa soon."

"I will."

* * *

"We will be on our way now," Running Wolf announced, as he approached Sully from behind. 

Sully was brushing his horse in final preparation for the long ride ahead. When he heard Running Wolf's voice, he stopped stroking the animal and looked up. "What do ya mean?"

"It is time we found our way to the reservation on our own." Running Wolf held out his hand for Sully. "I want to thank you for helping New Promise. We will see you at Darlington."

Sully stared down at the offered hand then extended his hand to accept the Indian's gratitude. "C'mon, Runnin' Wolf, don't leave yet. We're all goin' ta the same place. It'll be safer if we travel together."

Running Wolf shook his head. "We must go on alone."

"Why?" Sully asked, puzzled.

Running Wolf remained silent for a few moments. The truth was he felt more comfortable traveling alone, but he needed to offer Sully another reason. "Traveling with us puts your family in danger. If the Army…"

Sully raised his hand to cut him off. "Let me worry 'bout the Army. 'Sides, we can tell 'em we're bringin' ya to the reservation. I used ta be an Indian Agent. I can make 'em believe I'm doin' my job," he assured. He placed his foot in the stirrup, preparing to mount the horse. Before Running Wolf could answer, the horse reared up on his hind legs and neighed loudly, causing Sully to lose his balance.

"Pa, a rattlesnake." Brian warned his father.

"Easy boy…easy," Sully soothed, as he tried to calm the horse and regain his footing.

Running Wolf tried to steady the horse to prevent it from running. At the sight of the snake, the horse stomped its hind legs and neighed. Running Wolf reached for his tomahawk, and with one hand still on the horse, he threw the weapon at the snake and killed it in one swift motion.

The sudden movement startled the horse, and he jumped, knocking Running Wolf to the side. Before Sully could shake his leg free from the stirrup, the horse took off dragging him along. As he was being dragged, Sully frantically yelled for the horse to stop, but, the horse kept going. He stomped and kicked his rear legs, just missing Sully's head. Instead of slowing down, his pace accelerated as he lengthened his stride.

Immediately, Running Wolf mounted his horse to chase after the errant animal. Hearing the commotion, the rest of the travelers looked on in horror.

"Sully!" Michaela called, as she ran toward her horse. Dorothy grabbed Michaela's medical bag and handed it to her before she took off after them.

"Papa!" The children yelled. Night Crane went to the children's side to comfort them.

Sully's horse galloped at a fast pace, dragging him along the hard, uneven ground. The saddle began to loosen from the bumpy ride, lowering him further. As his free leg was dragged over the rough terrain, he could feel his buckskins tearing. The dirt, rocks, and exposed tree roots beneath him cut at the bare skin of his leg and arms like knives. It took all his energy to hold his head up to prevent it from pounding against the road. With all his might, he tried to wiggle free, but the horse was moving too fast for him to dislodge the shoe wedged into the stirrup.

Pain seared through his body, a body heavy and thick with hurt. As the saddle continued to loosen, he found himself falling further behind the horse, his body pounding against the ground. Visions of his brother being dragged to his death by a horse filled his mind and he shuddered to think about the pain and fear his brother must have endured toward the end. Feeling as if he might pass out, he wondered if he was about to be delivered the same fate.

The horse stopped short just as abruptly as it had taken off. The sudden jolt threw Sully forward over the edge of a rocky cliff with his foot still attached to the stirrup. Below the cliff was a several hundred-foot drop. Sully's stomach lurched when he looked down at the ground so far below. There was no way to survive such a fall. Now, if he somehow freed his foot from the stirrup, he would plunge to his death. The question weighing on his mind was how long he could dangle over the side of the mountain before someone came along or until he fell.

He waited, too exhausted and hoarse to manage more than a weak cry for help. After a few seconds that stretched out like hours, Sully felt his foot begin to slip.

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you for reading and for reviewing! I really appreciate it. _


	12. Chapter 12

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twelve**

Sully tried to grip the surface of the rock wall for support. To his dismay, the sheer granite didn't have any crevices for his fingers to latch onto, and his hands kept slipping with each attempt to pull himself up. He tried positioning his body flat against the rock face to absorb some of his body weight, but it was no use; there was nothing to hold onto.

Having run out of options, he whistled to his horse, hoping to get the animal to back up. If he could, he might ascend high enough to reach the edge of the cliff where he could crawl to safety.

At first the horse didn't move. He whistled again and this time the horse snorted, stomped his feet, and backed up a few inches. Sully worked to pull his body upward and reach for the stirrup, but he was too weakened from injury and from being dragged along the ground. He didn't have the strength to lift his body high enough to even touch it.

A sense of hopelessness and defeat settled into him as he closed his eyes and pictured his wife and his children. He didn't want to leave them. They needed him, and more importantly, he needed them.

Gravity was slowly working against him, and he could feel his foot sliding. In an attempt to keep his foot in the stirrup, he curled the toe of his shoe around the metal edge, hoping to hang on a little longer.

Mustering all of his remaining strength, he tried to ease up along the rock face again. It didn't help that his horse kept moving and stomping his feet, causing him to lose whatever progress he had managed to make. He knew it was no use. He could feel his foot slipping again. Soon it would be free, and he would be carried down the side of the mountain to certain death. Tears of frustration filled his eyes.

Just when he began to think it was too late, he heard another horse. Closing his eyes, he tried to call out for help, but all of his energy was focused on keeping his foot in the stirrup. When he heard racing footsteps, he pried one eye open, squinted into the sun, and slowly made out the figure of Running Wolf leaning over the edge of the granite wall.

Quickly assessing the seriousness of the situation, Running Wolf rushed to Sully's horse. As he approached the agitated animal, he uttered calm words and grabbed the reins. He tried coaxing him into walking backwards in an attempt to raise Sully back up over the cliff. The horse whinnied, backed up a few feet then stopped; he kicked his hind legs out, and then padded forward again. Not only did Sully erode his slight progress, but the jerky movements caused his foot to lose the tight grip it had on the stirrup.

At that moment, the horse moved again, jostling Sully as he dangled precariously closer to death. The eerie silence between the two men was punctured by a desperate yell, followed by pain filled moans that sent a sharp jolt of fear through Running Wolf's body. Deciding that the horse's nervous state would only worsen the situation for Sully, Running Wolf pursued his only remaining option.

Grabbing the rope from the saddle horn, he tied one end around a nearby tree. He rushed back to the edge of the cliff, horrified to see the leather strap of the stirrup slowly tearing. Knowing he had very little time, he knotted a loop in the other end of the rope and dropped it over the side of the cliff, swinging it as close to Sully as possible. Sully caught the end of the rope at the precise moment the stirrup snapped. The two men watched as it careened through the air and dropped to the bottom of the cliff.

Heart pounding and with sweat trickling down the sides of his face, Running Wolf grasped the rope and pulled, hand over hand, with all of his strength as Sully slowly began to rise.

"Reach," he called to Sully. He wanted him to give him his hand.

When Sully could just about reach the top of the cliff, he pushed down his pain and searched deep inside himself for some hidden reserve of strength. Emitting several deep groans, he managed to brace his foot against the sheer rock face and with his last ounce of strength, extended his arm. In that moment, Running Wolf took one of his hands off the rope and grabbed Sully's hand. No longer needing the rope, he leaned back, pulling Sully up with him.

"You're almost there," he yelled to Sully.

His breathing rapid and his arm shaking from the effort, Running Wolf dragged Sully back over the edge onto level ground. The last tug to safety sent the Indian tumbling backward. When he regained his balance, he ran to check on Sully. Uncertain of his condition, Running Wolf gingerly laid him flat on his stomach and knelt by his side.

Dazed, and unable to catch his breath, Sully lay flat on the ground with his eyes closed, motionless. His heart beat wildly against his chest and his body trembled. He ached all over from pounding against the dirt and from dangling in the air for so long. The only sounds he heard were his hammering heart and ragged breathing. In the distance, he heard faint words, but he couldn't discern their meaning. After attempting to calm his breathing and regain his composure, he curled his body into itself like a small child.

"Sully," Michaela shouted from atop her horse. She noticed him curled up on the ground, his clothes torn, Running Wolf hovering over him. When he didn't make any movement in response to her voice, she dismounted and hurried toward him with a blanket and her medical bag. "Sully," she repeated, in a softer voice. She fell to her knees by his side, alarmed by his ripped clothing and the numerous bloody cuts and scrapes. Intense relief washed over her when she found his pulse. It was rapid. Upon closer inspection, his shivering body told her he was in shock. Michaela laid the blanket over him. She stroked the hair at his temple and reached for his hand. Noticing a deep, bloody scrape on his palm, she opened her bag to remove disinfectant and a cloth. Concerned that infection might set in; she immediately began cleaning the wound.

"Did you see what happened?" Michaela asked Running Wolf.

"His horse got spooked by a rattlesnake. We tried to calm him, but he just took off. Sully's foot got caught in the stirrup and he was dragged all the way here. The horse must have stopped when he reached the edge of the cliff." Running Wolf left out that he found Sully dangling over the cliff moments from plunging to his death.

"Thank you," Michaela said to Running Wolf, immediately turning her attention back to her husband.

Running Wolf nodded. He felt out of place. But, he didn't think he should leave in case they needed him. Sully probably couldn't ride back to camp without assistance. Still agitated, Sully's horse neighed and stepped away from the area. "I'll take care of his horse," Running Wolf said, afraid the animal might bolt again. He also thought it might help Michaela if he were out of the way, allowing her privacy to tend to her husband.

"I appreciate everything you've done." Michaela turned her attention back to Sully, concerned that he hadn't spoken a word yet. She continued to clean his wounds while stroking his brow and temple, uttering soothing words to him. Eventually, he rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. He stared straight ahead, his eyes glazed over. Michaela finished cleaning his hand and wrapped a bandage around the deep cut. Throughout her gentle ministrations, Sully moaned, but otherwise remained unresponsive. She lifted his other hand and began to clean the scrapes, continuing to offer words of comfort.

He began to calm under her gentle care. "My foot got caught…" he murmured, closing his eyes again. "I couldn't think…I just kept seein' my brother."

"I know." Michaela smoothed back his hair and tenderly caressed his face. "You're safe now."

Sully gradually opened his eyes and registered the distressed expression on Michaela's face. "I'm all right," he said weakly, struggling to move into a sitting position.

She gently eased him back down. "Don't try to sit up just yet."

Sully continued his effort. "I want to."

Realizing it was pointless to argue, Michaela placed her hands beneath his shoulders, assisting him up. Choking back tears, she placed her arms around him in a gentle embrace, careful of his bruises. The hug was meant to reassure him that he was safe and would be all right, but the feel of her husband in her arms comforted her as well. Sully relaxed in her arms and held her as tight as his injuries would allow, not wanting to let go.

As she held him, Michaela felt the wetness of the sweat and blood on the back of his shirt. She pulled back from him slightly. "Let me see your back."

Sully reluctantly nodded and shifted his position so his back was facing her. Michaela lifted his shirt, wincing at the numerous bloody cuts and scrapes across his back. She would have to wait until they returned to the campsite to clean them properly. "Do you think anything's broken?"

Sully shook his head. "No, but my ankle and shoulder hurt bad. I must've pulled somethin'. I'm also real thirsty."

Michaela reached for her canteen and handed it to Sully. He wet his parched throat with a few sips of the cool liquid. She lifted his sore arm, moved her hands up and down, pausing to bend the arm at the elbow then she rotated the wrist. Sully winced in pain as she moved the joints. Repeating the same action on the other arm and both legs, she agreed that nothing was broken. He had pulled a muscle in his shoulder and his left wrist and ankle were badly sprained.

"I'd like to get you back to camp to wrap your sprains and clean your wounds properly. Do you think you can ride?" Michaela asked.

"I'm not sure."

After securing Sully's horse, Running Wolf returned to the couple. "How are you?" he asked Sully.

Sully looked up at Running Wolf. "I feel like I fought off ten men, but I'll live." He paused to consider his next words. "Thank you for savin' my life." His voice carried great emotion. He knew how close he had come to falling to his death. If Running Wolf hadn't arrived when he did, it would have been too late.

Confused, Michaela looked from one man to the other, but neither offered an explanation.

"I'm glad my horse is fast," Running Wolf replied, deflecting the compliment. Then he turned to face Michaela. "Why don't the two of you ride back together? I'll help get Sully on your horse, and then I'll take his horse back to camp?"

"Thank you," Michaela replied. "For everything."

* * *

Michaela rode her horse slowly back to camp, careful not to jostle Sully more than absolutely necessary. Sully sat behind her with his arms around her waist leaning into her back. His body ached all over, but he felt lucky to be alive, grateful to be holding Michaela close, and eager to see his children again. He shuddered at the thought of how close he came to losing everything.

When Michaela brought the horse to a stop, Brian and Running Wolf came over to help ease Sully off the horse and onto his feet. Katie and Josef, who were standing off to the side with Dorothy and Night Crane, noticed their father was limping and that his clothes were bloody and torn. They hesitated to approach him, afraid by how battered and weak he appeared.

"Papa," Katie said. Her voice was full of worry. "You're hurt?"

Unsteady on his feet, Sully leaned on his wife for support. With his free hand, he called his children over. Katie and Josef slowly walked into his one open arm. Josef wrapped his little hands around his father's waist. "I'm all right. I'm more scratched an' sore than hurt," he said, reassuring the children.

Frightened by the splattered blood on his shirt, and her father's uncharacteristically weak appearance, Katie looked up into his eyes. "You sure?"

He noticed the fear in her eyes and reached down to smooth her hair. "I'm sure. Your ma's gonna fix me up, good as new," he said, glancing lovingly toward Michaela.

"You're bleeding," Josef said, pointing to his leg.

Michaela turned toward her son. "I need to take your father into the tent to clean and bandage his wounds. Please wait out here with Brian. I'll let you know when you can come in."

"All right," Josef said.

"Can I help?" Katie didn't want to leave her father's side.

Michaela met her daughter's eyes. "Not this time, sweetheart. I promise Papa will be fine. You may come in shortly." She placed her arm around Sully's waist and slowly guided him into the tent.

Once he was settled on a blanket, Michaela removed what remained of his beige shirt. It was brown and dusty from being dragged over the rough terrain. She lifted a bottle from her medical bag and poured a small amount of chlorine water onto a cloth. As gently as possible, she cleaned the cuts and scrapes along Sully's chest, back, and arms. Each time the cloth touched an open wound, he squeezed his eyes closed and moaned softly. His injured muscles were already beginning to stiffen and the blood from his cuts had dried in a crust all over his body.

"I'm afraid you'll be quite sore for several days," Michaela told him, moistening the cloth again with disinfectant.

Sully looked down at his buckskins, the left leg in tatters. "There's no savin' these."

She brought her hand down to touch his thigh. "I'm afraid not. It's a good thing I packed a few extra pairs," she said with a wry smile.

Sully placed his hand atop hers and smiled. "Good thing."

Holding his arms up awkwardly above him, Michaela gently slipped a clean blue striped shirt over his head. Once that task was completed, Sully unbuttoned the waistband of his buckskins and began to slide them off with his wife's assistance. When the buckskins were tossed in a corner with the other torn garments, Michaela treated the wounds on his legs with the same gentle care she had given his upper body.

"You must have been so frightened," she said, as she dabbed disinfectant on a deep cut on the side of his calf. "It must have brought back such terrible memories of what happened to your brother."

As the disinfectant touched his skin again, Sully drew in a pained breath. "When I was draggin' on the ground, I kept thinkin' 'bout what it must've been like for 'im at the end. I kept wonderin' if the same thing was about ta happen ta me." Muted by grief, he noticed the dark shadow fall across his wife's face. He leaned forward to take her face in his hands, turning it toward him as he spoke. "There's somethin' ya don't know."

"What?"

Sully inhaled heavily, reluctant to tell her, but believing she needed to know. "When the horse stopped at that cliff, I got thrown over. When Runnin' Wolf got there, I was hangin' by the stirrup. I was scared I wouldn't see you or the kids again," he told her, his voice catching, as he caressed her face. "If Running Wolf hadn't come when he did…."

He watched all the color drain from her face. "Oh, Sully," she said. She brought him into her arms, her eyes filling with tears. After holding onto each other for several moments, he pulled back slightly and their lips met in a feather light kiss. Then he rested his forehead against hers for a long beat becoming lost in the scent and softness of her. Michaela turned her eyes away and blinked back tears. Sully needed her strength now. He needed to be taken care of. This wasn't about her, and she knew it.

"My lips are about the only part o' my body that don't hurt," he said, lightly laughing.

"I'll keep that in mind," she returned, attempting to lighten the mood. She moved toward him for another sweet kiss.

Their lips parted and Sully deepened the kiss before breaking away and nuzzling his face in her neck. "I think ya better help me finish dressin' 'fore we start somethin' I can't finish."

Michaela flashed him a guilty smile. "We'll remain here for a few days so you can recover."

Sully shook his head. "No. I'll be fine by tomorrow."

Michaela gave him a skeptical look, but before she could protest, she met his defiant stare. "All right. We'll leave tomorrow, but only if you're up to it."

"I will be," he said firmly.

After she had wrapped Sully's sprained wrist and ankle and helped him finish dressing, Michaela called for the children to come into the tent and visit with their father while she left to prepare him something to eat. On her way back to the tent with a bowl of soup for Sully, Michaela stopped in front of Running Wolf and his family.

"Sully told me what _really_ happened. I don't know how to thank you," Michaela said, her voice quivering with emotion.

Running Wolf held his baby close to his chest. "We have both helped each other."

"Yes, but if not for you, I might have lost both my son and my husband," Michaela said, blinking back the tears in her eyes. "If there's ever anything we can do for you...anything at all."

"How is your husband?" Night Crane asked.

"Thankfully, he wasn't more seriously injured. The worst of it is a pulled muscle and a sprained ankle. He also has several deep cuts from being bumped and dragged along the ground. They'll cause him quite a bit of discomfort for the next several days," Michaela explained.

"I'm glad it wasn't worse," Night Crane responded.

"So am I," Michaela said. She turned toward Running Wolf again. "I'd like Sully to rest for the remainder of the day. I'm afraid we won't be able to resume traveling until tomorrow, at the earliest. We'd be grateful if you'd stay with us."

"We will remain here for another day," Running Wolf agreed. With Sully not at his full strength, Running Wolf thought Michaela might need help. Tomorrow he could decide whether he still wanted to travel separately.

"I better bring Sully this soup before it gets cold. We'd be pleased if you'd join us again for supper."

Night Crane nodded. "Thank you."

Michaela lifted the flap of the tent and smiled at the sight of her children cuddled on either side of her husband listening to Brian tell them all a story. "I hope you're not wearing out your father. He needs his rest."

"We're not," Josef replied, resting his head against his father's arm.

"I'm glad to hear that, young man." Michaela handed the bowl to her husband.

Sully reached for the soup, his brow narrowing in pain. "Thank you." The agony of stretching his arm was etched across his face despite his best efforts to hide it.

"You okay, Papa," Josef asked, noticing his discomfort.

"I will be," he deflected.

"Want me to hold the soup for you?" Katie offered, aware of his pain.

"No, Kates. I can manage." He balanced the soup in the crook of his arm, picked up a spoon with his good hand and began eating.

"Why did the horse drag you away?" Josef asked.

Sully swallowed a spoonful of soup. "He didn't mean ta hurt me, Joe. He got spooked by a rattlesnake an' I got caught off guard. I lost my balance with my foot caught in the stirrup."

"You mad at the horse?" the little boy questioned.

"'Course not. It was an accident. Storm's a real good horse."

"It was an accident when I got lost." Josef was building up his courage to tell his parents the truth. Seeing his father hurt had frightened him. He believed that bad things were happening because he hadn't told the truth. It was time to put an end to the lie he told.

"We know that sweetheart," Michaela soothed.

"Wolf's death was accident, too," he said. His eyes were focused on the floor as his hands fiddled with the laces on his shoes.

Sully studied his son's nervous movements and the way he avoided looking at any of them when he spoke. He knew Josef was leading up to telling them the truth. "Brian, why don't you take Katie, and the two of you find us some supper? I'm afraid I'm no good ta anyone today."

Brian immediately understood that Sully wanted them to leave so he and his mother could be alone with Josef. And after his talk with him earlier, he knew his brother was ready to be honest with his parents about what had happened. "Sure. C'mon Katie."

"I wanna stay here," Katie protested. She cuddled closer to her father, dropping her head on his shoulder. "Go with Joey."

"Kates," Sully began. His daughter looked at him. "It would be a big help ta me if you would go with Brian."

"How would that help you?" She was skeptical.

"Well…it'll be a big help…because…" Sully was searching for a reason that would convince her.

Michaela offered her assistance. "With everything that's happened, I'd rather Brian not go out alone. As the next oldest, you can look out for him." Michaela stroked her daughter's hair. "You fish better than Brian, too. You can help him catch supper. Would you do me this important favor Katie? It would ease my mind and help your father to know you're looking out for one another."

Katie considered her mother's words. She wanted to stay by her father's side, but she was filled with pride that her parents trusted her to go out to get supper with Brian. It made her feel older and more responsible. "I'll go," she finally agreed.

Brian lifted the flap of the tent, holding it open for Katie to exit, and then followed close behind.

* * *

"Does this hurt?" Josef asked, touching a red scrape on his father's knuckles. Once Josef was alone with his parents, he lost his nerve. Michaela shifted to the spot next to Sully, which had been vacated by Katie, and placed his soup bowl to the side. Josef climbed into his mother's lap. She placed her arms protectively around him.

"Not too bad," Sully replied, aware his son was stalling.

Josef took a deep breath. "Papa," he said then stopped.

"Yeah, Joe?"

He couldn't find the words to tell him. He didn't know where to start or what was going to happen to him once he told. "Those tracks you saw with Wolf's," he began.

"Yeah, what about 'em?" Sully asked. His tone was comforting and his hand reached across to squeeze his shoulder, reassuring him to go on. He met Michaela's eyes over Josef's head and they briefly shared a moment of relief and pride in their son.

"They were mine," he said, barely audible.

"I know." Sully was content to let him take his own pace. "Ya wanna tell me how they got there?"

Josef looked up into his mother's eyes and saw her nod for him to go on. Reassured, he turned back to face his father. "I was playin' with Wolf at the log. When I saw the tracks, I wanted to figure out what animal it was to show you I could track like you," Josef said.

Michaela glanced at Sully. "Josef, didn't I tell you to stay where I could see you?"

"Yeah," he admitted guiltily.

"Then why'd ya go into the woods, son?" Sully asked.

"Wolf and me was playin' trakin' robbers. I got excited when I saw a real track. I thought if I found out what it was, you'd be proud of me. I wasn't gonna go far."

"Joe, I'm proud that ya wanna learn how ta track. But, you're too young ta be goin' out on your own. Ya gotta know what you're trackin'. If you can't identify it, you don't follow it. Ya gotta be prepared for what you might find. You weren't prepared to take on a cougar by yourself. Next time ya wanna track somethin', ya gotta be with me or Brian, understand."

Josef nodded.

"I'll tell ya what your ma an' me are real proud of though."

Josef's eyes were a little brighter than they were that morning. "What?"

"We're proud you came to us and told the truth," his mother told him.

Sully nodded his agreement. "Now what happened when ya got ta the den?"

"I didn't know it was a cougar den. I saw two baby animals playin'. I only looked at them. I wasn't gonna do nothin' to them. Then Wolf and me was gonna go back to camp so I could tell you what I saw. But before we got away, a big cat came flyin' down at us. Wolf flew in the air at it and they fought and I ran. I ran so fast back to camp. I thought Wolf was behind me. I didn't know he got hurt."

Michaela cradled him in her arms, kissing the top of his head. "We know you didn't. Wolf's death isn't your fault, sweetheart."

"Yes it is," he cried. "He wouldn't have died if I didn't follow those tracks."

Sully repositioned Josef so he was now stretched out across both parents. They comforted him with soft words and gentle caresses.

"Joe, followin' the tracks by yourself was wrong. But what happened ta Wolf was an accident. You didn't cause it ta happen. Wolf would have done anythin' to protect you."

"Wolf saved my life," Josef told them.

"Yeah…he did," Sully acknowledged, as he reached for Michaela's hand. "He died protectin' you. He was always lookin' out for us."

"He tried to get me to go back, but I didn't listen," Josef confessed. "You told me to listen to Wolf and I didn't. I thought he was playin."

"Then you learned an important lesson," his mother said.

"You're not mad?"

"Not about Wolf's death," Sully assured. But I am upset that ya didn't listen ta your ma and I'm real disappointed you lied to us about what happened. By not tellin' the truth right away, you put everyone in danger. Your ma walked into the woods after Wolf, not knowin' 'bout the cougar."

Josef looked down. "I'm sorry."

"We know you are, sweetheart," Michaela soothed. "But why did you feel that you had to lie?"

"I thought…I thought you'd hate me if you knew I killed Wolf. He was your friend for so long and I killed him."

Sully pulled Josef onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him. "Joe, you didn't kill Wolf. Sometimes bad things happen and no one means for them to. We all do things that we shouldn't and sometimes others get hurt. We know what happened ta Wolf wasn't on purpose. It was an accident. Blamin' yourself is only gonna hurt you. It can't bring Wolf back. Joe, your ma an' me could never hate you, no matter what you did. We'll always love ya."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what," his mother reassured.

"But, we're gonna have ta punish ya for wanderin' off and for not tellin' us the truth right away. Joe, do you know why it's so important to tell the truth?"

"'Cause it's wrong to tell a lie?"

"Why is it wrong?" Michaela asked.

The little boy shrugged his shoulders.

"Bein' true ta your word tells people you're a man of honor," Sully began. "When you lie, it infects everythin' you say. The truth suffers. Tellin' just one lie makes people question your word 'bout everythin'. No one will believe what you say, even if it's true."

"A lie also weighs on you and affects everything else you do," Michaela added. "You've been miserable carrying around this secret, haven't you?"

"Yeah."

"Telling the truth may come with consequences, but lyin' about it only makes things worse. Do ya understand what we're sayin'?" Sully asked.

"I think so." Josef said. He hugged his father tight. "I'm sorry I got Wolf killed. I know how much you loved him."

Sully blinked back his own tears and hugged his son back. "Joe, I love you. I know ya didn't mean for Wolf ta get hurt. I know how much you loved 'im."

"I love you, too, Papa. I miss Wolf."

Sully swallowed the lump in his throat. "I miss 'im, too." He kissed the top of his head, taking several deep breaths to steady his emotions.

Josef pulled back to look at his parents. "What's my punishment?"

Michaela nodded for Sully to begin. He thought for a few moments before speaking. "From now 'til we get to the reservation, you're gonna spend one hour a day helpin' me or your ma with chores around the camp on top of your regular chores."

"You'll also spend a half hour a day alone thinking about what your father and I have told you about telling the truth."

"And when we get to the reservation, I'm gonna have ya spend time with Cheyenne elders learnin' from them," Sully added.

"That's a lot," Josef said, feeling overwhelmed.

"Joe, what happened was real serious. We gotta make sure you learn from this an' grow. Everyone makes mistakes, son. It's what ya do with 'em that counts."

"Now, why don't you go see if Katie and Brian have returned? If they haven't, perhaps Eyes Like the Sky would like to play. Your father needs to rest until supper."

"I can play?"

"Sure, just don't wander away from the campsite," his father reminded.

Josef left the tent feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The worst he imagined hadn't happened. His parents still loved him and his father didn't blame him for Wolf's death. But, despite his father's comforting words, he still couldn't stop blaming himself. He missed Wolf terribly and wished he could go back to that day in the woods. This time he would listen to Wolf. Walking away from the tent, he was more at ease than he had been in days, but he also felt older, as if he had grown a few years in only a few days.

When they were alone, Sully squeezed Michaela's hand. "I don't think he'll be followin' any animal tracks on his own. He learned his lesson."

Michaela rested her head against his shoulder. "I'm so proud of him, Sully. He came to us, all on his own, and told us what happened."

"He had ta be ready ta tell us."

"But he suffered so keeping it inside."

"He had ta work it out on his own. He's gonna be all right…this time."

Michaela raised her eyes to his. "What do you mean this time?"

"We got a lot o' years of adventure with Josef," he replied as his eyes began to grow heavy.

Noticing Sully struggling to stay awake, Michaela rose. She crossed to the other side of the tent and unfolded a blanket, returning to place it across her husband. Sully reached out for her. She took his hand and returned to her seat beside him, sliding her arm around his waist. For several moments, they held one another in silence, both relieved everything was out in the open and that both Sully and Josef were all right. After at time, Sully stretched out across the bedroll and closed his eyes.

"I'm going to see if Brian and Katie have returned with supper while you sleep," she said, stroking the hair at his temple. Before she left, she lowered her head to kiss his cheek and watched her husband drift off to sleep.

* * *

"We can trust them," Night Crane told her husband. They were lying side by side on their bedrolls long after the children were asleep, her hand gently resting on his chest.

Running Wolf stroked her long raven hair, his eyes heavy with sleep. "I am growing fond of them, too, but we have no reason to trust them."

"I do," she said in a soft, firm voice.

Running Wolf was jolted fully awake by her words. He turned on his side to face his wife, his head resting on his elbow. "What are you not telling me?"

Night Crane inhaled deeply. "I remember Sully and Dr. Mike from my village, when I was a girl."

"Black Kettle's village?"

"Yes," she replied, nervous about how this revelation would affect her husband.

Running Wolf bolted upright, staring at his wife in disbelief, as if he hadn't understood the words she just uttered. In all their time together, he hadn't known her to keep secrets from him, especially about her past. "Why have you kept this from me?"

Night Crane was now in a sitting position across from her husband. She reached for his hand and squeezed it. "At first, I wasn't certain they were the same people. It was so long ago and much has happened to me since that time." She paused to moisten her throat. "When we brought New Promise to Dr. Mike, I felt a familiar sensation, as if I had met her before. In my worry about the baby, I dismissed it. My memories seemed from another lifetime ago, as if they had happened to some other girl and I didn't trust them. I thought it too unlikely a coincidence. But now, after spending time with them, I find myself having flashbacks to that time. I wanted to be certain before I mentioned it to you."

"And now you are?"

"Yes."

Running Wolf stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Tell me what you remember."

She met his direct gaze. "My memories begin with Sully. He lived with us for a time. Cloud Dancing, our medicine man, brought him to our village. As I recall, he was very sick. Cloud Dancing nursed him back to health and he lived among us, learning our ways. After a time, it seemed like Sully was a member of the tribe. He and Cloud Dancing formed a close friendship. They called each other brother. My uncle, Black Kettle, trusted him like he trusted no other white man."

"Did he honor that trust?"

"Oh, yes!" she replied emphatically. "He helped us with food. He warned us when the Army was planning an attack. Some in the tribe didn't trust how he tried to live in both worlds – Cheyenne and white. They wanted him to choose. My brother, who was a Dog Soldier, said Sully could never fully be trusted if he didn't renounce the white world."

"I can understand that," Running Wolf put in.

"I remember my father answered that Sully had earned the trust of the people. It was my father's greatest hope that Sully could help us live in peace with the whites. But, I have come to understand that it was beyond the ability of one man to achieve."

"And what about Dr. Mike?"

"My people called her Medicine Woman. After Sand Creek, she saved my uncle's life. Later, she often came with Sully to our village. We were told she was the new doctor in the white village. At first, she treated the people who came down with white man's diseases for which Cloud Dancing had no medicine. Over time, as she gained the trust of the people, she administered vaccines and even started to learn our medicine. She saved many lives in our village, even mine."

Running Wolf brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen in her face. "How did she save your life?"

"A sickness came into the village. They say the blankets from the Army carried it. It claimed many of our people. Dr. Mike worked tirelessly with Cloud Dancing to fight the fever. I was one of the lucky ones. I was young and strong so my body could fight the sickness. But many didn't survive," she said.

Seeing her pain darkened eyes, he reached up to caress her face. "I'm glad she was there for you."

"I am, too." She paused as her eyes drifted in the direction of Michaela and Sully's bedrolls. "There was much talk about the two of them in the village," Night Crane whispered.

"How's that?" Running Wolf was curious.

She smiled as she reflected back in time. "It was obvious to many of us that Sully had feelings for Dr. Mike. He broke a few hearts when he first brought her to the village. Some of the young women liked him and hoped he'd notice them. He was always pleasant to everyone, but he didn't seem interested in women in that way. My grandmother told me his wife had passed to the spirit world giving birth and he mourned for her. But, when he was with Dr. Mike, there was a light in his eyes that we had never seen before. She appeared to feel the same way. For the longest time, neither of them seemed aware of the other's feelings. At times, when I thought back to those days, I wondered what became of them, if they had ever married."

"Should I be jealous of Sully?" Running Wolf asked, only half in jest.

She laughed. "No. At the time, my heart belonged only to Little Arrow."

"What happened to Little Arrow?"

"He died of smallpox at Camp Supply. There was no doctor for our people."

"I am sorry. We also lost many good people to the white man's diseases."

"As much as I mourned for Little Arrow, I was glad he never saw what became of me there."

"If he loved you, it would not have mattered."

Night Crane blinked back her tears and squeezed her husband's hand. "You have a good heart." She leaned forward to kiss him. When they broke apart, she continued. "It has pleased me to see Dr. Mike and Sully married with children. They share a rare love, like ours, and are raising children who will contribute to a better future for our children, and for us. Seeing them now has given me hope that sometimes life turns out as it's supposed to."

Running Wolf turned his eyes away from his wife and fixed them down toward the blanket. "For white men, perhaps."

She lifted his face to meet hers. "Perhaps for us, when we get back to my people."

"Perhaps," he replied, though his tone was full of doubt. "Do you think they will remember you?"

"No. I was only a young girl."

"Why have you told me this tonight?" he asked, sensing a motive.

Night Crane glanced away from her husband's intense stare. "Because…"

"Because?" Running Wolf asked, meeting her eyes again.

"Because, I want us to travel together to the reservation," Night Crane replied. "It will be best for all of us."

Running Wolf leaned back and twisted the end of his beads. "I am more comfortable looking out for us alone."

"Please, Running Wolf."

He met her plaintive stare, considering her request. He was unsettled by the idea of putting his trust in others. At the same time, he was moved by the kindness Sully and Dr. Mike had shown his wife and her tribe. Even more, he was growing fond of them, too. "If that is what you want."

"I do."

"Will you tell them of your shared past?"

"At the right time."

_To Be Continued..._


	13. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, and The Sullivan Company. _

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirteen **

The next morning, as he sat and drank his coffee on the other side of the campground, Sully noticed Running Wolf tying his paraflech bundle to his horse. Setting his cup to one side, he rose slowly. He took careful consideration of how each movement would affect his aching body, and hobbled over toward the Indian.

"I wish you'd reconsider," Sully said, his arms at his side. "We're only a few days away and I could use your help."

Running Wolf hung his canteen on the saddle horn before turning to face Sully. "We will accompany you to the reservation."

Sully's eyes narrowed. "What changed your mind?"

"Night Crane."

A faint grin crept across Sully's face. "They got a way o' doin' that."

Running Wolf managed only a slight nod in reply. He was embarrassed to be revealing how easily his wife swayed his decisions. "How are you feeling?"

"I been better," he replied. Finding it difficult to stand on his own for long periods of time, he leaned against the tree trunk for support.

Running Wolf noticed his discomfort. "Perhaps we should rest here for another day."

Sully shook his head. "It's best we keep movin'. We lost too much time as it is."

Running Wolf continued to collect his supplies and arranged them onto the travois. Sully limped over to help him, gathering their cooking pot, plates, and cups. He placed them onto the travois before reaching for a covered oval object that was off to the side.

"Don't worry about that. I'll get that one," Running Wolf told Sully. Placing the blankets that were in his arms on the ground, he hurried to Sully's side to retrieve the valuable article.

"I've got it," Sully replied. Firmly in his grasp, he placed it onto the travois. Running Wolf held his breath as he watched Sully handle the object. As Sully positioned it next to their other supplies, the protective cover loosened, revealing the top of an intricate artifact. With artful subtly, Sully fixed his eyes on the article, trying to confirm his suspicions. "Is that…"

"It's nothing," Running Wolf stammered as he rushed over to cover it again.

"It looked like the top of a Cheyenne shield," Sully said, still trying to catch another glimpse of it. Running Wolf pulled the straps tight around the travois without speaking. "Runnin' Wolf?" Sully called to get his attention. "Was it a shield?"

The Indian sighed, and without another word, loosened the straps that he had just secured and lifted the article into his arms. Taking great care to unwrap it from the soft hide protecting it, he held the shield up for display. Running Wolf cradled it delicately in his hands, as if applying too much pressure would cause it to disintegrate.

The shield was magnificent. Made from dried buffalo hide, it had a half-moon at the upper border, a sun in the middle, and four inward directed points around the perimeter, representing the four cardinal directions. A bear was painted near the sun and the edges of the shield were adorned with the feathers of eagles and owls. Sully knew immediately that this was an important artifact of the tribe. He also knew the Cheyenne believed the shield offered great physical and spiritual protection, with every design and adornment possessing significance. The drawing of the bear and feathers of the birds were believed to give the man who carried it the power of those animals.

Sully rubbed his hand across his chin as he studied the shield. "Cloud Dancin' told me they lost all the shields and other sacred artifacts durin' the battles with the Army. How'd you get this?"

Running Wolf looked away from Sully toward the shield again. "I found it in the north…at…at one of the battle sites. Night Crane recognized it as belonging to the Southern Cheyenne. We are returning it."

Sully had a hard time accepting that such a valuable ancient artifact that held such significance to the tribe had been tossed in the dirt at a battle site. "How'd you find it?" He continued to admire the shield, shaking his head in disgust at the savage disregard of generations of Cheyenne history shown by the Army.

Running Wolf returned the shield to its protective cover with the same care he used in handling it. "I was hunting in the Bighorn mountains. I found the shield behind a rock near the site of the Mackenzie battle. I thought a warrior must have hidden it there for safekeeping." His words were hurried as he tried to finish his explanation without interruption. "I believe whoever left it was killed in battle and that is why he never returned. At first, I didn't know what tribe it belonged to, but, I knew it was important to the people. I decided to guard it until it could find its way back to its tribe."

As Sully listened to the story, that same uneasy feeling from when he first met Running Wolf returned. The coincidence seemed too unbelievable. Yet, it was possible. The Indian wars had scattered different tribes and their possessions across the plains, and those artifacts, that hadn't been burned, had been found by other tribes, along with scientists who had been cataloguing the way of life of the ancient peoples. He thought about how grateful Cloud Dancing would be to see the shield again and how pleased he was for Running Wolf that he could be the one to present it to him. The more time they spent together, the more he liked Running Wolf. But, at the same time, he found him hard to get to know, as if he was intent on keeping some part of himself hidden. Sully found it ironic that this should bother him. After all, he, himself, was a master at avoiding and deflecting probes into his past, even from those he loved.

"What reservation were ya livin' on then?" Sully asked.

"We were not on a reservation," he replied, discomforted by Sully's intense gaze and scrutiny.

Sully leaned on Running Wolf's horse to steady his balance. "Ya must o' lived on a reservation some time?"

Running Wolf crossed his arms at his chest. "I did not. I lived on my own for many years. Night Crane lived on a Cheyenne reservation and with the Northern Cheyenne near the Tongue River. When we married, we decided to live on our own."

"When…" Sully began.

"Papa," Josef said, as he pulled his father's arm.

"Yeah, Joe?" Sully replied.

"Mama says we leavin' soon." The little boy delivered his message.

"All right. Tell your ma I'll be along shortly. Now be a big boy for me and help 'er get ready."

"I will."

"I know ya will." Sully watched his son scamper off before he returned his attention back to Running Wolf. Despite the Indian's obvious discomfort, Sully felt compelled to learn more about him. "How long have ya been on your own?"

"Over two years now."

"Two years?" Sully couldn't believe it. "You been on your own all that time?"

"Yes."

"The Army never found you?"

"We stayed hidden."

"It must o' been hard."

"It was," Running Wolf replied, his jaw set and his posture rigid. He wondered why he wasn't finding a way to end this conversation. Sully was the first person, outside his family, that Running Wolf had talked to in over two years. It felt uncomfortable to be revealing these details of his life with a stranger, a white stranger at that. But, oddly, it also gave him a sense of relief to be sharing his experience with someone he was beginning to trust. "We had each other and our freedom. No one told us how to live, what language to speak, what to believe, or what to wear."

"I understand," Sully replied, saddened by the choices the Indians were forced to make to maintain their identity. "I know you're not Cheyenne. What tribe are ya from?"

Running Wolf remained quiet for a minute, but it seemed to stretch much longer. "Crow." He walked a few feet away to collect the tent and blankets, hoping the diversion would put an end to the awkward conversation.

This revelation gave Sully new understanding. The Cheyenne and Crow were long-time enemies. Sully waited until Running Wolf returned with the rest of his supplies before speaking again. "I imagine choosin' between the reservations couldn't o' been easy. But, why come out o' hidin' now?"

Running Wolf paused and looked toward his family before speaking. "For the children and…for myself. Eyes Like the Sky and New Promise have no future hiding out in caves. I don't know the future they will have confined to a reservation, but we want New Promise to be raised in the ways of his Cheyenne grandfathers."

"I know the kids are usually raised in the ma's tribe, but don't ya want 'em ta know their Crow grandfathers?"

Running Wolf weighed his answer carefully. "It is time for all of us to live among the Cheyenne. I need to do this."

Sully heard the pain in his voice and again his questions surfaced. "Why?"

"For peace."

"You're not gonna find peace at Darlington," Sully cautioned, as he followed behind him to collect more provisions.

"I am ready." Not at all certain he was ready for what was to come at the Indian Agency and feeling exposed by his candor to Sully, Running Wolf shifted the conversation in another direction. "Were you really an Indian Agent?"

"Yeah. At the Palmer Creek Reservation." Sully noticed the way Running Wolf stared at him. "What?"

"I find it difficult to imagine you forcing us to live by your government's rules."

Sully lowered the bundle he was carrying to the ground and leaned back against the tree. "I wanted ta help the Cheyenne and the other tribes. I tried ta balance the white way with the Indian way. I wanted ta try ta do what the government wanted without the Indians losin' who they are."

"But wasn't the point for us to lose who we are…to become white?"

"It ain't right."

"Why did you stop?"

"I got fired."

"For not following the rules?" He couldn't suppress his grin.

Sully nodded. "Partly, an' I got in the way o' the Army." He paused, reflecting on his efforts on behalf of the Indians. "It was hard ta be part of watchin' the government strip away who they were, makin' 'em wear white clothes, cuttin' their hair. I almost quit lots o' times. But, as hard as it was tryin' ta help the tribes hang onto a part of their identity on the reservation, it was even harder bein' on the outside, not able ta help 'em at all. The frustration kept buildin' in me 'til I ended up doin' more harm than good." His eyes darkened at the memory of the uprising at Palmer Creek, the death on both sides, and the months hiding in a cave, away from his family.

By the expression in Sully's eyes, Running Wolf knew not to ask him to explain what he meant. It seemed they both had dark places in their past, places they would rather not revisit. "Why are you traveling to the reservation now?"

Sully's eyes brightened. "Ta visit my friend, Cloud Dancin'." He picked up the bundle again and carried it over to place it next to their other belongings.

"He must be a good friend to bring you all this way." Running Wolf followed with more supplies.

"He's like a brother. He saved my life more than once."

"Why bring your family on such a long journey? Wouldn't it be faster to travel alone?" Running Wolf covered the travois with a buffalo hide to protect their possessions.

"Don't like bein' apart from 'em. 'Sides, Michaela an' me want the kids ta know the Cheyenne. There's no more Cheyenne livin' in Colorado."

Running Wolf thought about his words. "I have seen the white world. I don't want my children to be a part of it. It is not the world I wish for them."

"It seems ta me, nothin's gonna change unless both sides start understandin' each other."

"The whites do not want it to change," Running Wolf said, soberly. "Why is it so important to you that your children know the Cheyenne?"

Sully was quiet for a few moments, unsure of how to begin. "The Cheyenne gave me so much. They were my only real family before Michaela an' the kids." Sully stopped, amazed he felt comfortable sharing something so personal with Running Wolf. He took a deep breath, inhaling the warm air before continuing. "I tried ta help 'em, but I couldn't stop what the government was doin' to 'em. All I can do now is help Brian, Katie and Josef carry the Cheyenne in them, the way I do. I tell their stories, treat the earth and all living creatures by their example, and maybe someday, change how people see 'em. I don't like what they're teachin' 'em in school 'bout the Indians. It's real important ta me that they see who they really are and what's happenin' to 'em." Sully looked off toward his family in the same manner Running Wolf had earlier.

Running Wolf was moved by his words and by Sully's dedication to the Cheyenne. The Indian extended his hand to Sully. "I am glad we have met."

Sully clasped his hand. "Same here."

"I am especially glad Eyes Like the Sky has met your children. Before now, he has only known hatred from children in the Army camps."

Sully had no response to the truth of his words. "C'mon, we best finish packin'."

* * *

For the past two days, the families traveled together over the open Kansas plains, across large areas of flat grasslands, their green stalks yellowing in the dry summer heat. On the third day, they crossed the border into Oklahoma along the Cimarron River, where the expanse of level land came to an end, and glowing red cliffs reflected along the river's shore. All around them, there was yucca, prickly pear and dried rattlesnake skins, evidence of the generations of Indians, who freely roamed the plains, relying upon this area as a place of rest and nourishment.

After a hard day of traveling, everyone was relieved when they finally stopped by the river, where they could cool off. Rain was sparse at this time of year, but the lower than normal level of water in the river suggested that it hadn't rained here for quite some time.

Due to the shallow depth, the water moved slowly over the rocks jutting out above the surface. Along the shoreline, everyone filled their canteens, ensuring that they had plenty of water for the remainder of the journey. The horses drank greedily at the river's edge, neighing in delight at the chance to rest after the long walk in the sweltering heat.

The children immediately took off their shoes and socks to wade in at the water's edge. The low water level allowed them to stand comfortably without the fear of being swept under by the current. Katie was the first to plunge her body into the cool, clear water.

"Katie," Michaela exclaimed.

Sully reached for her arm. "Let 'em play. They've been cooped up in the wagon for days."

Michaela sighed with resignation. "I better take out a change of clothes for both of them. You know Josef won't be far behind his sister."

After the initial stab of cold, the feel of the chilly water against her hot, sticky skin was like a sigh of relief. As Katie moved her body through the water, she couldn't imagine a better sensation. She stood in the water and ran her hands back and forth watching the ripples form and, all too quickly, disappear. She dove under to swim in circles around her brother and Eyes Like the Sky, who had ventured out to join her. When the boys were out as far as she was, she began splashing them, only to dive under water when they tried to get her back. From below the surface she pulled their legs out from under them, causing each of them to lose their balance. All that time in the stream at home with her father had really paid off, as she was able to show off her swimming abilities.

The first time Josef lost his balance and went under, he was frightened. He soon figured out that all he had to do to recover was raise his head above water. The more times he went under, the greater his confidence became. After being dunked several times, he had grown adventurous and was looking for a way to take the advantage away from his sister. To do that, he called Eyes Like the Sky over, and together, they conspired to exact their revenge.

"I'm tired, Katie. Let's move closer to shore," Eyes Like the Sky requested.

"I don't want to go in yet," Katie said, as she splashed him with water. "C'mon, this is fun."

"Let's go in closer then," Josef pleaded.

Katie grudgingly swam toward the two boys. When she was right beside them, Eyes Like the Sky grabbed her arms and held them behind her back. Josef moved closer to splash his sister. He moved his arms through the river to generate a wave and released a rush of water directly into Katie's face. Through fits of giggles, he repeated the water assault again and again.

Katie squirmed to free herself from the boy's grip. "Let me go," she yelled. "You're not playing fair." She continued her protests, mixed with fits of laughter. "I'm gonna tell."

"You started it Katie," her brother pointed out.

Katie couldn't get free. At first the game was fun, but now the repeated soakings were tiresome and beginning to hurt. The relentless splashing felt like tiny knives hitting against her skin. Her wrists were beginning to burn from being held still in Eyes Like the Sky's firm grip. She wanted it to stop. Her repeated pleas to her brother to stop, and for Eyes Like the Sky to let her go, didn't work. They refused to take her seriously, enjoying their game at her expense. After all else failed, she resorted to the only weapon she had left.

"Mama!" Katie yelled. "Mama help."

Michaela heard her name and looked up. Hearing laughter and ensuring that the children were all right, she waved to them from her spot on the shore. At that moment, Josef ceased splashing and Eyes Like the Sky released Katie's arms, both boys afraid of getting into trouble. Katie swam away from them into the deeper part of the river.

The families had grown closer from traveling together these past few days. As they watched their children frolic in the water, both couples were seated near each other, as if they were friends. Night Crane settled the baby down in his basket then rose to walk to the water's edge. After ensuring that Michaela would keep an eye on the baby, Running Wolf crept up behind his wife, swept her into his arms, and tossed her into the water. She shrieked from the shock of cold water against her skin. Turning around, she gave her husband a stern look. Running Wolf swam next to her, took her in his arms, and kissed her hard on the mouth.

Sully turned to glance at Michaela, a twinkle of mischief dancing in his eyes.

"You wouldn't dare," she said, reading the meaning in his expression.

Sully feigned innocence. "We can't. We promised ta watch the baby."

"Yes, we did," Michaela replied, a faint trace of disappointment in her tone.

"I'll watch him for you," Dorothy offered. "You two go on in."

"Dorothy, thank you, but I couldn't," Michaela responded, conflicted.

"'Sides, we had a long day," Sully said. "You're probably too tired ta go swimmin'."

"I'm not that tired," she said.

Sully raised his eyebrows. "No?"

"No, I just don't want you to do to me what Running Wolf did to Night Crane."

"What? Kiss ya?"

"That's not what I meant," Michaela replied with a giggle. "Besides, you're not completely healed."

"I'm almost back ta normal, Michaela. You're just scared 'cause I'm a better swimmer than you are," Sully teased, intending to rile her up.

"You are not."

"Care ta prove it?"

"I don't have to prove it," she insisted, biting her tongue until she devised a plan to get a head start on Sully.

"I knew you were chicken," he challenged.

"I'm certainly not chicken."

"No?"

"Absolutely not…" At that, Michaela stood up, letting her riding pantaloons fall to her feet. Once free of the garments, she dashed into the water with a backward glance at Sully.

Sully looked at Dorothy, the satisfaction spreading across his face. "It worked."

"You make it look easy," Dorothy remarked with a chuckle.

Sully caught up to Michaela, and dared her to race him out to a large rock jutting out of the river. They both dove into the water and swam at a fast pace. Katie stopped swimming to watch her parents' race. Michaela got to the rock first. When Sully joined her, he encircled his arms around her waist, and reminded her that he still didn't have the full range of motion in his injured shoulder. He challenged her to a rematch, but this time Running Wolf, Night Crane, and even Katie joined in the fun. Running Wolf won that race.

As the sun climbed high in the prairie sky, and the day grew even hotter, the families continued to find relief in the water. After several races to and from the rock, everyone was now lounging in the water, delaying the inevitable return to the heat and the last days of hard riding. Running Wolf and Night Crane were in the middle of the river talking. Michaela was floating on her back with Sully's arms around her, staring up at the sky, while the children looked for rocks at the water's edge. She felt peaceful and content to be in her husband's arms. Sully stood waist deep in water mesmerized by the beauty of the red cliffs against the blue-green water.

As Sully's eyes scanned the surrounding cliffs and grasslands, he noticed Brian sitting on the edge of a red cliff with his shoulders slumped writing in his journal. He squinted to study his son more carefully. It wasn't like Brian to keep to himself while everyone else was having fun. The more he thought about Brian's demeanor on this trip, the more Sully concluded that something was bothering him. Whatever it was, it was clear he didn't want to discuss it yet. Part of him wanted to march out of the water, join him on the cliff and ask him outright what was wrong. The wiser part of him knew he had to give him time to sort out his feelings alone.

Ever since Brian was a little boy, he had confided in Sully and sought his advice about everything, or at least it seemed that way to Sully. Being shut out was uncharted territory for him. In truth, it was more than being shut out. It was a gathering sense of being judged and coming up lacking. That was an unfamiliar feeling where Brian was concerned, one that he didn't like at all. He had gone through something similar with Matthew, but he and Matthew never had the father and son relationship that he and Brian had shared. The longer he thought about it, the more he began to wonder if this was something all fathers of grown sons had to endure for a time.

Dorothy sat on the riverbank attempting to write in her journal. She watched the two families frolic in the water while keeping an eye on the sleeping baby. Throughout the trip, she had been trying to stay current with her writing. She wanted to capture the change in the landscape as they traveled from the mountainous terrain of Colorado to the flat plains of Kansas and Oklahoma. As difficult as it was, she also wanted to explore her feelings about seeing Cloud Dancing again. With less than three days left until they arrived at the reservation, she was experiencing the same fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach, along with the daily headaches, that almost convinced her to abandon this trip in the first place. She thought that speaking to Michaela, as she had done before, would help ease her worries.

Dorothy glanced up to see Michaela sharing a laugh over something with Night Crane, her eyes bright and her mouth open wide with joy. She hadn't warmed to Night Crane the way Michaela had, and she didn't understand her friend's attachment. Night Crane was a beautiful young woman with silky smooth skin and soft features. She had a subtle way of speaking that made her words seem like they floated on air, as if she was singing the melody to a tune she carried within her. But apart from her obvious physical attributes, Dorothy found her aloof and unfriendly. She was much younger than Michaela, and as far as she could tell, they shared nothing in common. But Dorothy knew Michaela never passed up an opportunity to help someone, and felt this situation was no different. Clearly Michaela was spending all that time with Night Crane out of her desire to help the lonely Indian couple. As a wave of jealousy crept up from her gut, she pushed it back down by concluding that Michaela's affection for Night Crane couldn't be anything more than pity.

Eventually the adults ushered the reluctant children out of the water to dry off. Michaela escorted the children behind a rock to change their clothes.

"Mama, Joey was mean to me in the water," Katie tattled on her brother.

"Was not," Josef said, grabbing her dress.

"You were too." She snatched it back.

"Stop it, both of you." Michaela handed Katie the dress and the little girl stepped a few feet away for privacy to change. When she returned, her mother straightened the dress and smoothed its front. "It looked to me like the three of you were having fun together."

"We were, but Joey got Eyes Like the Sky to hold me so he could splash me."

Michaela looked hard at her son. "Is this true?"

Josef lowered his eyes. "Yeah, but Katie pulled my legs so I went under water."

"Is that true, Katie?"

She glared at her brother, hands on her hips. "Sort of."

"Well, it seems to me that both of you did something that bothered the other one. I want you each to apologize."

"But he didn't play fair."

"She started it," Josef complained.

"I want you both to apologize now." The children remained silent. "Katie."

"I'm sorry I pulled you under water," Katie acknowledged grudgingly.

"I'm sorry I splashed you so much," Josef said.

Michaela brushed the tangles out of Katie's wet hair. "Now that's better. We all had a good time today. Soon it will be time for supper. Are you ready to rejoin the others?"

The children nodded their consent.

When everyone had returned to the shore, Sully told the children about the place they were camping for the night. "Three years ago, a group of about 300 Cheyenne fled the reservation we're going to and camped here ta rest for their journey. They were led by Chief Little Wolf and Dull Knife."

"Why did they leave the reservation?" Eyes Like the Sky asked.

Sully glanced at Night Crane who, knowing the story, nodded for him to continue. "These Cheyenne were from the north an' they wanted ta go back ta the land of their grandfathers. They were gettin' sick because they weren't used ta the land there."

"Nahoko'e, where is the land of _my_ grandfathers?"

"Where we are headed. We will be fine, my son." Night Crane placed a reassuring hand on the small of his back.

Sully crouched in the dirt. "The Cheyenne left Darlington here," he said, marking a spot for the reservation in the dirt. "They traveled for days from here ta right where we are today. The whole time, the Army chased 'em. They were under orders ta bring 'em back ta the reservation."

"Were they scared?" Josef asked.

"They were very brave. They made a decision to fight to get home," Michaela explained.

"I bet they were real glad ta get ta this place though," Sully added.

"My people have always considered this a place of rest," Night Crane supplied.

Sully continued, "It was at this very spot that the Cheyenne fought Captain Rendlebrock causing him and his men to retreat."

"What's retreat?" Katie asked.

"It's when one side turns back 'cause the enemy is too strong for 'em," Sully explained.

"That happened right here?" Josef asked, looking around and seeing the area in a new way.

"Yep, they told me 'bout it when I was in Montana."

"How many made it?" Night Crane asked.

"A little over 100," he answered, his head bowed toward the dirt.

"That's all," Eyes Like the Sky said. "What happened to the rest?"

Night Crane stood up to avoid answering her son's question. "I want to show all of you something." She led them toward a pair of towering rocks, more than twenty five feet tall. Carefully, she moved a smaller rock that served as a marker and revealed cached pemmican. "My people buried food here for hard times. They were always careful to leave some for others who might be passing through."

"Since we don't need the food, we'll leave it for those who do," Running Wolf explained.

"But who's passing this way now?" Brian asked. "Everyone's on reservations."

"Not everyone. When food was scarce, we found comfort in these hidden caches. I do not believe everyone is on reservations," Night Crane told him. "My people have lived on this land for generations. If someone wants to live alone out here, they can find a way."

"We did," Running Wolf reminded them.

* * *

"Michaela, I noticed some berries growing in the bushes near the river. Why don't we take a walk and pick some for dessert?" Dorothy suggested the next afternoon. "I was hoping to speak with you."

"I'd like that Dorothy, but I can't right now," she replied, gathering the material from Sully's torn buckskins into her arm.

"Why not?" Dorothy tried to hide her disappointment. "The children are napping and Sully and Brian are both here to watch them. We wouldn't be gone long. I haven't had any time to talk with you since we started traveling with that Indian family."

Michaela paused in her steps to face her friend. "I know. And I'm sorry about that. It's hardly been the relaxing trip we planned with Wolf's death, Josef getting lost and Sully's injury. We'll have plenty of time to talk once we get to the reservation."

"Michaela, what's wrong with right now?" Dorothy persisted, a hint of irritation in her tone.

"Now. Well…Night Crane offered to teach me how to ornament moccasins. I'm using Sully's torn pants to practice the beadwork then I'll try it on a pair of moccasins. She's quite talented."

"I'm sure she is," Dorothy said, barely disguising her bitterness.

Michaela could sense that something was bothering Dorothy. "You're welcome to join us."

"I have some writing to do anyway."

"Well, if you're sure," Michaela replied. She turned to walk away.

Dorothy watched her friend turn her back to her as feelings of rejection and jealousy rose up from within her. "Michaela."

Michaela turned around again and stepped closer.

"I'm curious…what I mean is…" Dorothy was grasping for the right words. She should have just let her go, but now that she began, she might as well tell her what's been on her mind. She sighed deeply. "Why are you spending so much time with Night Crane?"

"I'm not spending so much time with her," she answered defensively.

"It seems to me that you and Sully are spending a lot of time with the Indian couple. And when you're not all together, Sully's with Running Wolf and you're with Night Crane. I had hoped to have some time with you myself…to talk."

"I think you're exaggerating. But, I like Running Wolf and Night Crane. Don't you?"

_Not really_ was the first thought to cross Dorothy's mind, but she kept that to herself. "Michaela, I didn't come all this way to spend my time alone or with Brian. You convinced me to come on this trip. You said you'd be with me on this journey if I needed to talk. I was hoping we could spend some time together."

"We have spent time together. We've been together for over a week. In that time, you never said anything about wanting to speak with me. What's this about?"

"Forget it. It doesn't matter," Dorothy said. She let out a frustrated sigh as she hurriedly brushed past Michaela.

Michaela now realized her friend was hurting, even though she didn't fully understand why. She caught up to her and placed a hand on Dorothy's shoulder. "I hadn't realized I'd been neglecting you."

Dorothy turned around. "When I came on this trip, I thought I'd have someone to talk with the whole way, someone to give me advice and help me sort out my feelings. I was looking forward to our talks. Like we have back home. But now that we're so close to the reservation, and seeing Cloud Dancing again, I don't know if any amount of friendly talk or advice could ease my worries."

Michaela lowered her eyes. "I didn't realize. Why don't we go on that walk tomorrow?"

Dorothy didn't respond as her eyes were fixed on the horizon in the distance.

"Dorothy, you're my closest friend. I don't know what I would have done without you while Josef was missing. I'm sorry if I hurt you.

"You're my closest friend, too. And I know this isn't intentional."

"I like Night Crane very much. She's strong, intelligent, and devoted to her family. Sully also has a great deal in common with Running Wolf. They want what we want. To live in a time where all of us, the white and the Indian, learn to understand each other and can live in peace. I also feel compassion for all she's been through. I saw what the Army did to the Cheyenne at Washita. But, whether it's Washita or Sand Creek or Fort Robinson, the Cheyenne have lost so much over these past few years. More than you or I could ever begin to comprehend. Despite that, Night Crane isn't bitter. She has more wisdom than most women twice her age, or men for that matter."

"Don't suppose I tried to get to know her," Dorothy said in a soft, guilty voice.

"The Cheyenne were an important part of my life in Colorado Springs and they continue to be so for Sully. When I'm with Night Crane out here, I can fondly remember Black Kettle and Snow Bird…my dear friend. My memories of Washita and the uprising at Palmer Creek are still so strong that I sometimes forget the peaceful times in the Cheyenne village. I want to take every opportunity I can to embrace the good memories I shared with the Cheyenne. Spending time with Night Crane helps me do that. I don't want Washita and Palmer Creek to overshadow my experience with the tribe. Can you understand that?"

"I think so. I never knew the Cheyenne then. I got to know Cloud Dancing after all of that…when he was alone. I never knew him with his family and among his people."

"You would have liked them."

Dorothy inhaled deeply. "Michaela…"

"Yes."

"What was Snow Bird like?"

Michaela looked at Dorothy, uncertain about answering her question. "Well…she…she was a strong, wise woman with a wonderful sense of humor."

"Oh."

"What is it?"

"I don't have much of a sense of humor."

Michaela laughed lightly. "Dorothy, I remember when I asked Loren what Abigail was like. Sully and I hadn't yet begun to court, but I knew I had…well…feelings for him. He had loved Abigail very much. I was worried about how I would compare to her."

"You two were so different," Dorothy blurted, wishing she could yank back the words.

"Exactly. And Sully was able to love both of us very much, just as Cloud Dancing loved you and Snow Bird."

"Sometimes I wish I had known her."

"I feel that way about Abigail, too."

Dorothy reached for her hand and squeezed it. "You better get along. You'll be late for your sewing lesson."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We'll take that walk tomorrow."

_To Be Continued..._


	14. Chapter 14

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Fourteen **

In the early afternoon, under a clear blue sky, the camp was alive with activity. On one side, Sully and the children were playing a competitive game of keep away with a pair of socks. At the far corner of the camp, Brian was cleaning the rabbit he caught for their supper while Running Wolf was adding to their wood supply to keep the fire stoked. Feeling more alone than when this trip started, Dorothy had walked to a nearby cliff to seek inspiration for her writing. In the middle of the campsite, Michaela was seated next to Night Crane absorbed in her second lesson in Cheyenne ornamentation as the young Indian woman cradled her baby in her lap. This was the last planned afternoon of rest and relaxation before they resumed two more days of hard riding to their final destination.

"How am I doing?" Michaela asked, holding up her beadwork for Night Crane to examine.

Night Crane set aside her own work to finger the tanned buckskin. "You are learning quickly."

Michaela flashed a pleased smile in her direction. "I can handle a simple design in one color, but I don't know about a complicated pattern of varied colors."

"You will learn," the young woman assured.

"I'm afraid I don't share your confidence," Michaela replied. "I've made Sully deerskin shirts, but they didn't entail beadwork. I merely sewed stones and other amulets."

Night Crane noticed Michaela's proud expression as she spoke of the shirts. "You are good with a needle. Next, you should sew a pattern on Sully's moccasins," the Indian woman urged.

"Oh no, I couldn't. I wouldn't want to ruin them."

"Then surprise him with a new pair. I'll teach you a design that will mean a great deal to him," Night Crane told her. Michaela raised her eyebrows with a look of uncertainty. The young Indian woman patted her hand. "You can do it."

The women were startled from their amiable conversation by the loud, thumping footsteps of Katie heading toward them. She was out of breath from playing with her father and the boys. "Can we all play baseball?" she asked, plopping down on the ground in front of her mother.

"Katie, I don't think we can play that game here. Besides, our new friends don't know how to play baseball," her mother explained.

"We'll teach them." Katie pulled her mother's hand and started to stand. "C'mon."

Sully and the boys joined the women after overhearing the end of the conversation. "Kates, we don't have bats and a ball," her father said.

"Oh," she said dejected.

"Why don't we play somethin' else," Sully proposed

"Like what?" She asked, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet with restless energy.

"We can play the wheel game," Eyes Like the Sky suggested timidly.

"We don't have wheels or sticks," Running Wolf told him, having just joined their gathering.

"Why don't we all play the coyote game. We don't need any equipment for that," Night Crane offered.

"I'm afraid we don't know how to play the coyote game," Michaela said, setting her sewing aside.

"It's easy. We'll teach you," Eyes Like the Sky said, eager to teach his new friends a Cheyenne game.

After everyone had agreed to play, Sully left to tell Brian about the game, hoping he would decide to join in this time while Michaela went to find Dorothy, hoping to encourage her to play. She found her deep in thought at the edge of a cliff gazing at the ebb and flow of the river.

"Dorothy," Michaela began, stepping slowly toward her friend.

Startled, Dorothy turned around.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Michaela said. "We're all going to play a Cheyenne game and I was hoping you'd join us."

"I don't think I'm up for a game, Michaela," she said, turning back around to resume her writing.

"Please, Dorothy," Michaela persisted. "I'd like you to join us. I've missed you."

Dorothy remained quiet for several long moments letting Michaela's words sink in. She had spent the past hour thinking about how much she had missed talking with Michaela since they met the Indian couple. Though they had an opportunity to talk yesterday, her mind was filled with thoughts of Cloud Dancing and she wished Michaela had been there to calm her nerves. She also thought about how she hadn't made an effort to know Night Crane. Perhaps participating in this game would help her feel more a part of this trip. Finally, she faced her friend. "All right, I'll play," she replied, rising to her feet.

Michaela beamed with delight. "I'm so glad." She placed her hand on Dorothy's back and the two of them walked back to camp together, engaged in friendly conversation.

When everyone was gathered around, Night Crane began to explain the rules of the game.

"When I was a little girl, this was one of my favorite games. The first thing everyone has to do is line up according to size, with the littlest one in the back. Running Wolf, you'll be in the front of the line with Josef at the end," Night Crane explained.

"Why do I always gotta be last?" Josef complained.

Night Crane approached Josef, knelt down, and placed her hand on his shoulder. "It is best to be in the back of the line, farthest from the coyote. That way you will be harder to tag out." Josef was pleased by the explanation and took up his position at the end of the line. "Next, we need one person to be the coyote and another person to protect the rest of the line from the coyote."

"Papa should protect us," Josef chimed in.

"Joe, I think the game'll be more fun if you kids play the parts," Sully replied, as he took his place in line.

"I agree," Night Crane said. "Katie, why don't you play the coyote?"

"What do I have to do?"

"As the coyote, you will face the line and try to attack. You will dash toward all of us in line, while the protector tries to stop you," Night Crane explained, as her body acted out the parts. "If you touch one of us, that person is out of the game. Your objective is to tag everyone out. Eyes Like the Sky, you can be the protector.

"I get to keep the coyote from touching anyone in line!" Eyes Like the Sky said, excitement in his tone.

"Do boys and girls usually play this game together," Michaela asked.

"Not usually, but who will know out here?" She replied, sharing a wry glance with Michaela.

Night Crane's usual serious demeanor had been crumbling over the past several days. Watching her now, Running Wolf could almost imagine his wife as a young girl, happy and carefree, before all the sadness and pain in her life stole away her smile and quieted her laughter. If she hadn't told him of her past knowledge of Dr. Mike and Sully, he would be confused by how relaxed his wife was becoming around this white family. She trusted them, and despite his better judgment, Running Wolf was having a difficult time finding a reason not to trust them, too.

For the past few days, he enjoyed pretending that the rest of his life would always be this easy and comfortable. He imagined that he would always be able to move freely across the country with like-minded companions. Then he reminded himself, that in a few short days, he would be trading away this freedom so that Eyes Like the Sky and New Promise could learn the old ways and discover what it meant to be Cheyenne. Running Wolf knew that if the Cheyenne or any of the tribes were to survive, it was going to be through the children. Still, he couldn't stop reeling from the bitterness that Sully and his family could visit with their friends, then return to their life of freedom, while he and his family remained like prisoners. He wondered what differences there were between himself and Sully that could justify such disparate futures.

Katie faced the line forming in front of her. Eyes Like the Sky faced Katie with his back to the line and his arms stretched out on either side. Behind the two of them, the rest of the party was lined up with Running Wolf leading the line followed by Sully, Brian, Dorothy, Night Crane, Michaela, and Josef. Each person held onto the waist of the person in front of him or her. New Promise lay sleeping in his basket near the front of the line so his parents could keep a watchful eye on him.

When the game began, Katie dashed toward the line as she tried to get behind Eyes Like the Sky to touch Running Wolf. Eyes Like the Sky was quicker than her as he ran toward her, throwing his arms up in the air. He jumped back and forth in front of Katie, holding her at bay. Katie tried to duck under his arm to tag Running Wolf, but Eyes Like the Sky cut her off. Sully and Brian were trying hard to muffle their laughter at the sight of the two children jumping back and forth with their arms swinging wildly in the air. After a few cackles escaped from their mouths, they were quieted by a gentle reprimand from Michaela, reminding them not to tease the children. The line moved from side to side as Katie unsuccessfully tried to tag someone.

Deciding another tactic was in order, she stopped to analyze the situation, weighing her options. Without warning, she jumped toward Eyes Like the Sky, hoping to catch him off guard, but he was quicker and jumped in front of her, blocking her path. Frustrated, she faked a dash to her right, then her left. When he followed to her left, she got around him to tag Running Wolf. He was out.

"I got him!" she yelled in excitement, surprised by her success.

"Nice goin', Katie," Sully congratulated.

"I'm gonna get you next," she told her father, bolstered by her newfound confidence.

"I think Eyes Like the Sky is onto you now," Brian warned. "Try another move."

Katie dashed toward her father, but Eyes Like the Sky was already waiting to block her advance. Brian stepped out of line to lift Josef up, holding him to his body as a blocker.

"Katie, now you can tag Joe," Brian said. He could barely control his laughter as he held his little brother out in front of him.

"Put me down!" Josef yelled, kicking his legs and squirming to break free. "I want to be in the back."

"Brian, this isn't how the game is played," Michaela scolded, while trying to contain the slight grin creeping across her face.

"How would you know?" Sully teased. Then he moved to the back of the line and grabbed Michaela by the waist, spinning her around so she was now in front of him. "Katie, your ma's an easy target now."

"Sully!"

Not even Night Crane could contain the smile on her face as she tried to restore order. "Everyone needs to return to their original places."

When the line formed again, Katie studied the row of people as they moved from side to side. Eyes Like the Sky was younger than her, but he was taller and stronger. She decided her only advantage was to confuse him. After some hesitation, she began darting to one side and then the other as Eyes Like the Sky followed to keep her from tagging anyone else. Katie ducked, as if attempting to go under his arm. When the boy ducked too, Katie sprang to her feet, got around his outstretched arm and tagged Dorothy out.

Brian and Josef teased Eyes Like the Sky for being bested by a girl, while Michaela encouraged her daughter to continue to rely on skill over strength. For her next move, Katie set her sights on tagging out her father. Katie darted to one side, and then the other, as the game continued well into the afternoon.

* * *

The families gathered around the campfire for supper, worn out from their game. Michaela and Night Crane had combined their talents to prepare a rabbit stew that was eagerly awaited by the hungry crowd. In his exhaustion, Josef had fallen asleep with his head on his father's lap, as Sully sat quietly whittling a piece of wood. Nearby, Brian and Katie were teaching Eyes Like the Sky to play checkers.

"What do you write in your newspaper, Dorothy?" Running Wolf asked. He dangled his beads near New Promise and watched as the baby tried to grab them and put them in his mouth.

"Katie did that when she was a baby," Sully said, watching New Promise's determined efforts to grab hold of the beads. He wistfully thought back to his children at that same age and marveled at how fast the time went. He brought his hand up to stroke Josef's hair, careful not to wake him.

Dorothy tucked her pencil behind her ear and set aside her notebook. "Mostly I write about the news in our town. Sometimes it's a new business coming, a wedding, or a new baby. When I can, I also try to include important news from the rest of the country."

"Brian wrote an article about when I was born?" Katie supplied, holding a plate out for a portion of stew.

"How do you decide on the stories to print?" Running Wolf asked. He had grown curious about the role of journalism in white society from spending time with Dorothy and Brian.

"Well…I print whatever is the biggest news at the time and what I think readers will be interested in," she replied, shifting in her seat to face Running Wolf directly.

"But, who decides what's the biggest news?" he persisted, reaching for a plate of food from his wife.

"I do," Dorothy said, becoming unnerved by the intensity of his hard stare. "But, I'm not sure I know what you're gettin' at, Running Wolf."

The Indian rubbed his chin. "Say a lumber mill was coming to town. It was going to destroy an elk habitat, but provide 50 new jobs for white men. On the same day, forty people died of cholera on an Indian reservation." He stopped for a moment, turning toward Sully. "What was the name of the reservation you worked on?"

"Palmer Creek," he answered, intrigued by where the Indian was going with his questions.

"Yes, Palmer Creek, right outside of town. Which story would be on the front page?"

"The story about the lumber mill," Dorothy replied, somewhat embarrassed.

"Why?"

"Because it's big news when a new business comes to town offering jobs."

"Bigger news than the death of forty people?" Running Wolf challenged, his fork poised over his plate.

Dorothy lowered her eyes to the ground. "Well…no."

"What if it were forty white people who died in a train crash?" he continued.

"_That_ would make the front page," Brian put in, before taking a large spoonful of stew.

"Why would the death of forty white people be more newsworthy than the death of forty Indians?"

"It wouldn't," Dorothy defended, her face flushed. She moved the food around her plate. "I have an audience Running Wolf. If I want to sell papers, I need to give people the news that matters to them. No, that's not quite right," she stammered, flustered. "I would write about the Indians, just not on the front page if those other stories happened at the same time."

"It ain't right, but most folks don't care 'bout Indians' sufferin'," Sully added.

"So, you could not sell papers if you reported on the death of forty Indians?" Running Wolf asked.

"I'm not saying that," she answered with frustration. "I've printed lots of stories about the Indians, but I don't print everything that happens. What are you trying to get at?"

Running Wolf swallowed his food. "Newspapers have the power to shape what information the public receives. It's not a power to be taken lightly. Your paper could be used to influence people to think in a different way."

"I don't take it lightly, Running Wolf," Dorothy insisted, her frustration rising at the continued barrage of questions and veiled accusations. "And I have printed many views that went against the town in an attempt to provide folks with new information. A newspaper isn't meant to tell folks how to think, but to report the facts and let people decide for themselves."

By his questions, Sully could tell that Running Wolf had more knowledge of the ways of the white world than he had let on.

"Dorothy's articles have done a lot of good," Michaela defended. "She wrote one of the only true accounts of what happened at Washita."

Night Crane grasped her husband's hand. "You printed the truth?"

"Yes, but it wasn't published outside of Colorado Springs. No one believed it. They thought Custer was a hero," Dorothy explained, her guard still up. The last thing she wanted was another round of questions about what she had written about Washita.

"Some hero, coming into a camp of mostly women and children in the dead of night," Night Crane said bitterly, catching herself.

Sully gave her a curious look, noticing an odd intonation in her voice. When she didn't elaborate, he dismissed it. "The time Michaela treated an escaped Indian in our barn an' got arrested, Dorothy wrote an article embarrassin' the government, convincin' 'em ta let 'er go," he provided. "And when we get home, Brian's gonna write 'bout how it's wrong ta force the Indians onto reservations."

"I need to see the reservation to know what I'm going to write," Brian corrected, bristling from Sully's presumption.

Sully wasn't sure what he had said to offend Brian. "'Couse ya do. But, they say Darlington's even worse than Palmer Creek. If ya ask me, they're all the same. Nothin' more than prisons."

"Maybe they don't have to be," Brian replied, in nearly a whisper.

"What do ya mean?" Sully asked, moderating his tone. "Ya saw how the government made 'em live on Palmer Creek."

Brian took a deep breath. He had been thinking about possible ways to help the Indians given the reality of the times. It seemed to him that Sully refused to accept that the country wasn't going back to the way it used to be. "Times are changing. People are moving further and further west and taking more of the land. The way we all live and work is changing. To survive, the Indians will need to change, too. They can't live like they used to."

"I agree with that Brian, but who's to decide how we change?" Running Wolf asked.

"You should," Brian responded.

"If the government was going to let us choose for ourselves, why did they put us on reservations in the first place?" Running Wolf asked the young man.

"From what I saw and read, part of it was for your protection," Brian answered weakly.

"Or was it for _your_ protection?" Running Wolf countered.

"Both," Brian acknowledged.

"And now you believe we can have a say in how the reservations are operated?" Running Wolf asked skeptically.

"They can't have a say in how a reservation's run," Sully retorted.

"Not now, but perhaps in the future," Michaela offered, attempting to lessen the rising tension in the air.

"Maybe not the way they're run today, but why couldn't they change?" Brian challenged, his voice growing louder with the confidence of his ideas. "I've been thinking that it might not be the policy that's wrong, but the execution of the policy. Reservations may have been the best alternative to seeing the Indians killed off. It's wrong to withhold rations and medical care and to stop them from practicing their religion, but it's not a bad idea to teach the Indians English and how to get along in our world. I'm starting to think we have to fix the reservation system, not abandon it."

"Brian has a point, Sully," Dorothy said.

"You can't fix it!" Sully responded. His tone was more forceful than he intended. "The government's policy is ta make 'em white. They wanna strip 'em of what makes 'em Indian."

"Sully, it is important to give the Indians choices in life," Michaela said, hoping to diffuse his temper. She could tell he was having a hard time keeping it in check by the way his jaw was working and the way he held his arms stiffly across his chest.

"But, shouldn't they be our choices, not yours," Night Crane challenged.

"Of course," Michaela replied.

"Why can't the Indians have more of a voice in running the reservation?" Brian asked.

"The Government's never gonna agree ta that. They don't want 'em ta have a voice. Don't ya see, they don't wanna help 'em. I know. I tried." Sully's face was tight with emotion.

Running Wolf was moved by the passion in Sully's voice. He wished he understood how this white man came to care so much about his people. There was more he wished to ask both Brian and Sully, but for now, he would stay out of what had become a father-son debate.

"So what's your answer? Break 'em out, bring about anarchy so lots of people can die on both sides," Brian challenged. Then he drew on the most destructive weapon in his arsenal to lash back. "Is treason your only solution?"

"Brian," Michaela warned with a stern voice.

Sully remained silent at his accusation. Dorothy understood both perspectives in this situation and held her tongue. Running Wolf and Night Crane felt like intruders in a private family quarrel of which they knew nothing about.

Katie leaned into her mother, frightened by the raised voices. "Why is Brian mad at Papa?"

Michaela draped an arm around her daughter. "They're not mad, sweetheart. They are merely having a spirited debate."

"They sound mad," Katie observed.

Sully's eyes were frigid and remote. "They shoulda given 'em their own land like they promised. They could have set aside land like a national park an' allowed the tribes ta live their own way. Let 'em run things without the government tellin' 'em what ta do."

Hectic color stained Brian's cheeks as he stared hard at Sully. "That's a nice idea, Sully, but no one would agree to that. With all the people moving west, the appetite for land is too strong. It's not right, I know. But, maybe now, what we need to do, is fight to improve the reservations," Brian suggested. His calm tone disguised his mounting frustration at the inability to have a rational conversation with his father about the situation.

"So now you're willin' ta settle for havin' 'em live on reservations. I don't know how you can even justify that after all you've seen." Sully was seething and waging an internal battle to keep his rage from pouring out. "Is that what you'd tell No Harm or Snow Bird?"

A sudden shiver coursed through Night Crane at the sound of the names.

Brian rose to his feet, frustrated at having his ideas regarded as a betrayal of the Cheyenne. "You never listen! When it comes to the Cheyenne, you think you know better than anyone else. You have all the answers." Brian was trembling from the tension. He knew he didn't have all the answers and he wasn't even sure how to fix the reservation system, only that they should explore different options and try. Though his ideas were not fully formed, there was one thing he did feel strongly about, however, and he looked his father directly in the eye before speaking. "I haven't seen your way fix anything, Sully." Without waiting for a reply, Brian stormed off into the darkness.

The noise woke Josef up. "Papa." He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Why is everyone yellin'?"

Sully held him close to his chest. "It's nothin', Joe."

Michaela rose to her feet. "I'll go speak with him."

"It don't sound like nothing," Josef said, looking back at his father.

"Leave 'em be," Sully told Michaela. His tone sounded like an order.

Dorothy watched Michaela in sympathy, wondering what she'd do.

"I can't leave him be," she said, as she turned and headed in the direction Brian had gone, pulling her shawl tightly across her shoulders.

Sully rested his chin in his hand. "I don't know what's got into 'im. Brian used ta think pretty much as I do 'bout the Indians. He knew the Cheyenne growin' up. He knew the pain of losing a friend at Washita," he told Running Wolf and Night Crane.

"He also knew the pain of almost losing his father, of being separated from him for months and not knowing whether he'd ever come home again," Dorothy added, giving Sully another perspective. "He knew the terror of wondering whether you'd be shot for treason or if his mother would be jailed for aiding a fugitive. And this wasn't the first time he saw either his ma or pa in jail."

Running Wolf shared a glance at his wife wondering what Sully might have done that could be considered treason.

Sully's shoulders slumped. He wondered if he'd ever be able to put his actions at Palmer Creek in the past. He knew the strain his time in hiding had placed on Michaela. It had taken them months to regain their trust in each other again. Katie was too young to remember any of it. During that period, Sully thought Brian understood and accepted his actions. Now, he wondered if he had taken enough time to fully appreciate the impact it had on Brian.

"Who were No Harm and Snow Bird?" Eyes Like the Sky asked timidly.

"No Harm was a friend of Brian's. He was his na'heo," Sully explained.

"What's na…?" Katie asked.

"His blood brother," Eyes Like the Sky told her. "And Snow Bird?"

"Snow Bird was the wife of my best friend, a Cheyenne medicine man. You'll meet him when we get to the reservation."

"What happened to them?" the boy asked. In the pit of his stomach he already knew the answer.

"They were killed at Washita," Sully replied. Those words silenced the camp for several moments.

Running Wolf cleared his throat. "Sully, you raised your son to think for himself. I tried on many different robes before I discovered the one that fit me best was the one my father had made for me."

Sully looked up. "You think that's what he's doin'?"

"I do. When he sees the reservation, he will not be able to deny the truth. But, perhaps his generation _can_ help change them for the better," Running Wolf said hopefully.

"He has an honest heart," Night Crane added.

"He always has," Sully said, his voice reflecting his sorrow.

* * *

Michaela found Brian sitting on the top of a cliff overlooking the Cimarron River. Slowly, she approached him from behind, easing her steps as she drew near.

"Brian, may I join you?" his mother asked, careful to remain several feet back so as not to intrude on his private space.

Brian turned his head to face her then patted the ground next to him. Michaela stepped toward him and took a seat on the hard rock. The two sat in silence, staring into the slow moving river for several minutes. Michaela eased her arm around his shoulder to comfort him.

"Do you want to talk about what happened back at camp?" his mother asked. There was no trace of judgment in her tone, only concern.

"No." Brian tossed a rock over the cliff and watched it land hard into the river. "No one cares what I think."

"That's not true. Sully and I both care very much about what you think. Very much. We want you to think for yourself," his mother reassured, resting her hand on his arm.

"Pa doesn't," he said bitterly.

"Of course he does."

"It don't seem like it." Brian balled his hands into fists in his lap.

"More than anyone I have ever known, Sully allows people to be true to who they are. He doesn't attempt to change people's minds. I'm usually the one who does that," she said with a soft chuckle.

"Then why'd he say what I was gonna write about the reservation?" Brian hurled another rock into the river in frustration.

"The two of you have always shared a common perspective about the Cheyenne. But, I'm quite certain he will listen to you if you have formed a different point of view." Michaela tightened her shawl around her shoulders, as the night air grew chilly.

"He wasn't listenin' back at the camp," Brian pointed out.

"Brian, it's very hard for Sully to accept what's happened to the Cheyenne. They were, and continue to be, such an important part of his life. I'm certain neither you nor I can fully understand the pain he's experienced seeing what has become of his family. The pain of watching friends murdered and their culture annihilated has been excruciating. He could have given up, but he didn't. When he was an Indian Agent, he tried to make life better for all the Indians at Palmer Creek, but his efforts were constantly thwarted. Out of anger at the injustice and a sense of helplessness, he took actions into his own hands at the reservation. I don't blame him for that. And I can't blame him for being cynical now. But, he loves you, Brian. He will listen to what you have to say. He just needs time to get used to your ideas."

"Sully's so angry at the government."

"Can you blame him? He saw what happened at Sand Creek and Washita. People he loved were killed just for who they are. How could he not be angry?"

"I know," Brian said softly. "I'm angry about that, too. But, I figure it's time to find some middle ground. There's got to be a way to help the Indians keep their culture and still teach them how to survive in our world."

"Brian, I have always hoped for that middle ground, too. But, you need to ask what kind of future the Cheyenne will have if the children can't remember their language or if their stories and history are lost to future generations? Sully fears the reservations represent the loss of an entire culture. I can't even begin to comprehend a loss of that magnitude. Can you?"

"No." Brian looked down toward the river, which could only be heard and not seen against the blackness of the night. "But, there has to be a way for them to learn English _and_ learn how to live in the white world while preserving their culture. The immigrants have done it."

"Some have, but many of their children only speak English. They know nothing of the country their forefathers came from. And the immigrants chose to come to this country for a better life. The Indians only wanted to be left alone, to live as they had for generations. Their situations aren't comparable."

"Miss Teresa still speaks Spanish and prepares Mexican meals. She maintains her culture."

"Yes, but their children only speak English."

"They could learn Spanish if they wanted."

"Brian, I truly feel that you and Sully need to have this conversation. He will listen to you, but you need to listen to him too."

Brian shook his head. "It's too hard to talk to Pa about this."

"It never used to be." Michaela patted his hand. "Brian, I don't believe your confusion is only about a disagreement with Sully over the Cheyenne. You have been preoccupied throughout this entire trip. Is something more on your mind?"

Brian didn't answer for a long time. "Sometimes…sometimes…it's nothing."

"Please tell me what's bothering you," his mother urged.

"Were you always sure you wanted to be a doctor?"

"Yes."

"You never considered becoming anything else?"

No, but I did wonder if I would ever be able to realize my dream. If I couldn't become a doctor, I wasn't certain what I would do with my life," she admitted. "Brian, you are bright and caring. You can be whatever you choose to be. Sometimes being faced with too many choices is more confusing than having a burning desire for one. But, I know whatever you choose, it will be right for you.

"Sometimes I'm not sure what I think about things or what I want to do with my life."

"This is a confusing time for you," Michaela acknowledged, her hand resting lightly on his arm.

"How will I know what's right for me? I have so many interests that it's hard to decide on just one."

"You'll know what's right for you. You'll feel it."

"You make it sound easy."

"It's not easy at all. And you don't have to decide now. Brian, Sully and I trust that you'll make the right decisions. You're correct that the world is changing. There will be new problems requiring creative solutions. I believe you can make a difference if you stay true to what's in your heart."

"I hope so."

"I know so."

"Thanks Ma," Brian told her, smiling for the first time all evening.

Michaela reached out her hand to him. "Why don't we head back to the campsite?"

"You go on ahead. I want to stay here a little longer."

"Don't be too long. We have a long day of travel tomorrow."

"I won't. Goodnight."

* * *

"Are you asleep?" Michaela asked. Hearing no response, she crawled under her bedroll and slid next to Sully, warming herself against the heat of his body. Sully lay with his eyes closed in that place somewhere near sleep, but not quite in its full embrace. "Goodnight, Sully," she whispered. She spooned herself against him, closed her eyes, then found his hand beneath the blanket and curled her fingers around it.

"Ahhh!" He instinctively yanked his hand away. "Your hand's cold!" He rolled over onto his back, took her hand between both of his and rubbed to warm it up.

"I thought you were sleeping," Michaela said. She raised herself up and rested on her elbow looking down at him.

"Just about. Then I felt these icicles," he teased, holding up her fingers.

"It's chilly out tonight," she excused, her tone apologetic.

"Come here." He urged her to move closer. Michaela inched forward, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around her, his hand gently pressed against her back. "How's Brian?"

"Confused."

"'Bout what?" he asked, as his hand drew lazy circles on her back through the light flannel material of her nightgown.

"The direction of his life," she said, nestling into his embrace. "The Indians, the future, how he wants to make a difference with his life."

"He told you all that?"

"In a way."

Sully ran his fingers through her hair. "Lately, we can't talk like we used to. One of us ends up gettin' angry. I shouldn't have gotten so riled up."

"Sully, the Cheyenne are a sensitive topic for you," Michaela noted. She rested her palm on his chest, aware of the way the moonlight illuminated his angular features.

"I assumed Brian thought the same as me 'bout 'em."

"I believe he does, but he has also seen how most of your efforts haven't worked. It's natural for him to ask whether there isn't another way." She smoothed the hair on his chest. "Don't look at it as an indictment of your choices."

"It's hard not to. Seems like Brian's questionin' everythin' I do an' I'm comin' up short."

She held him tighter. "Never. He adores you. But, it's like you once told me when I was going through something similar with Colleen."

"What's that?"

"He's trying to step out of your shadow, to be his own person. It's quite a tall shadow, Sully."

"Runnin' Wolf says he's tryin' on different robes."

"Exactly. Brian is growing up in a different time than you and I. He's going to be faced with new choices and different ways of addressing problems. He may explore variant ideas, but in his heart, he knows what's right. We have to trust that he'll choose the correct path."

"Until then, we just get through it?" He brought her hand to his lips for a soft kiss.

"It's all we can do," she said, reaching across to take his other hand in hers and squeezing it gently. "Sully, I'd like you to try to speak with Brian about his thoughts while we're at the reservation. He wants the same thing you do for the Cheyenne. He's still idealistic enough to assume we just haven't found the right way yet. Perhaps we haven't."

"I'll listen to 'im."

"And try to be patient with him."

"I'm usually the one tellin' you ta let the kids be," he said, noting the irony.

"Perhaps some of your wisdom has rubbed off on me."

"Perhaps," he replied, tenderly kissing the top of her head, as his eyes grew heavy with sleep.

_To Be Continued..._


	15. Chapter 15

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Fifteen **

Having gotten an early start in the morning, the families traveled hard for hours, stopping briefly to rest the horses and to eat a light lunch. In the afternoon, they resumed their travels through the dry, open high plains of Oklahoma, the land seeming to stretch out endlessly before them. All around them, the grass had turned golden in the sweltering summer sun.

"Is it always this dry?" Dorothy asked from her seat beside Michaela in the wagon. They could hear the brittle grass crackle as the wheels turned beneath them.

Michaela stared out at the brown tinged blades of long grass. "Sully said it's fairly common for the plains to experience severe drought in the summer, but it seems early in the season for the grass to be quite this dry."

"I wonder how the farmers manage," the older woman mused, opening her parasol to shield her eyes from the sun's scorching rays.

Michaela scanned the land before her and tried to imagine what might grow in this climate. She wondered how the Indians were expected to farm on land so arid.

"I don't think I've ever seen land so flat," Dorothy said, gazing out toward the horizon. "It feels like we're out in the middle of nowhere."

Michaela flicked the reins, urging the horses to move faster and keep pace with Sully and Brian in the lead. "It looks like a golden brown ocean."

"It looks more like a large pancake," her friend quipped. "I have to admit, I prefer the mountains of Colorado."

"So do I," Michaela agreed. "There's no other place quite like Colorado. I think I appreciate it even more when I visit new places."

"Mama, are we almost there?" Josef was standing in the back of the wagon leaning onto his mother's seat for balance.

"Josef, please sit down," Michaela reminded him once again, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Josef lowered himself to his knees. "Well, when are we gonna get there?"

"Soon, sweetheart," his mother replied, her eyes focused on the path in front of her. "Sometime tomorrow we'll arrive at the reservation. Then we won't have to ride in the wagon again for two whole weeks. How does that sound?"

"Good," the little boy said. "I'm sick of bein' in the wagon."

"Me, too," Katie piped in, as she scooted toward the front of the wagon on her knees. "Can I ride a horse when we get to the reservation?"

Michaela handed the reins to Dorothy so she could turn around and face her children. "Katie, we should be able to find a horse for you to ride. But, right now I need both of you to return to the back and sit down."

"We are sitting down," Katie said, lowering her backside onto her heels.

"You both know perfectly well what I mean." Michaela's voice grew stern. "If the wagon were to jostle, you could get hurt."

"All right," the children replied in unison, as they brought themselves to a sitting position.

"They're restless," Dorothy remarked. She handed the reins back to Michaela and picked up her parasol, holding it tight as the wind picked up.

"We're all a little restless. It's been a long trip, even longer than we expected." Michaela brushed aside the hair that had blown in her face. "I know I'll be happy to stop moving. It will be nice to relax and visit with friends."

"I hope it's relaxing," Dorothy said, before growing quiet. As much as she wanted the traveling to end, the closer they got to the reservation, the more questions came into her mind.

"Dorothy, are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied. "My mind is racing with so many questions. How are they living, is Cloud Dancing all right, and will he be glad I came?"

Michaela reached across to place a reassuring hand on her arm. "I'm certain he will be very glad you came."

"Does Sully know anything about the Indian Agent at Darlington?" Dorothy asked, eyeing a flock of cawing crows in hurried flight above them.

Michaela noticed the birds, too, and wondered if they had passed a dead animal. "His name is John Miles. He's known to be strict, but fair."

"I'd say that's an improvement over some of the other agents." Dorothy closed her parasol and tossed it under the seat. "My goodness, this wind. And look at the sky. It's awfully dark up ahead."

"Perhaps a storm is coming," she said, as she tried to pull back her windswept hair. "This land could certainly use the rain. Those crows probably flew for cover from the storm."

"They don't look like storm clouds," Dorothy observed with concern.

"No, they don't," Michaela murmured. "Sully!" She called to her husband up ahead.

Sully turned around at the sound of her voice. "What?"

"The sky is so dark up ahead."

"It's smoke. Probably a fire up ahead. Nothin' ta worry 'bout. We'll go around it," he said with borrowed confidence.

"Smoke," Michaela echoed in a whisper, her eyes glancing uneasily toward the dry grass.

With an eye on a sky that appeared to be growing darker and more ominous, Running Wolf rode up beside Sully. "That's smoke from a wildfire. We must get out of its path."

"I was thinkin' the same thing," Sully replied, noticing flashes of red mixed in with gray. What from a distance seemed like an isolated fire now loomed larger and more menacing.

Running Wolf pulled back on the reins to stop his horse. Sully rode toward the wagon holding up his hand for Michaela to stop, while Brian rode to the rear and informed Night Crane of the fire. The horses in front of the wagon neighed loudly as they nervously stomped their hooves in the grass.

"The wind is accelerating the fire," Running Wolf told everyone as they gathered around the wagon. "We have to go around it."

"How?" Michaela asked, her voice trembling.

"We'll ride north. If we can get to a grove of trees or anywhere else where the land isn't as dry, we'll be safe," Sully said. "Put all the kids in the wagon, along with everyone's belongin's, an' me an' Runnin' Wolf 'll steer it through. Michaela, you follow behind with Night Crane and Dorothy."

"All right," Michaela replied, as she climbed down from her seat. She retrieved her medical bag from the back, leaving behind some ointment and bandages. After placing her bag on the saddle horn, she mounted her horse and positioned herself next to Night Crane and Dorothy behind the wagon.

"Michaela, is this like the prairie fire you told me about on the cattle drive?" Dorothy asked, her voice quivering. As the flames and smoke moved closer, her concern grew, almost approaching a terror that threatened to paralyze her.

Michaela gazed out at the ominous black smoke, aware that this fire was much larger than the one they encountered back then. "It's something like it," she replied in an attempt to calm her friend as well as herself.

"We will be fine," Night Crane told both women as she handed her baby to her husband.

"Mama! Stay with us," Katie cried, as she peered out the back, her brother at her side.

"It's all right, sweethearts. I'll be right behind you," her mother reassured. As the roaring noise of the fire grew closer, the horse reared up on its hind legs almost throwing Michaela off. With Brian's help, she calmed the horse.

Running Wolf helped Eyes Like the Sky into the wagon then handed him the baby. "Quickly, we must hurry."

"Brian, I want you in the wagon with the kids," Sully told him.

"But, Pa…I'm not a kid."

"Brian, I need ya ta keep the kids safe. You'll need ta calm 'em and make sure everyone stays seated and huddled together," Sully explained.

Brian understood and climbed into the wagon without further complaint. Sully tied Brian's horse to the back of the wagon and, with Running Wolf's help, transferred the items from the travois.

When everyone was settled and their supplies secured, Sully leapt into the wagon and grabbed the reins, flicking them along the backs of the horses, urging them to go faster. Running Wolf pulled himself up beside him, and the two men guided the horses toward the north. Night Crane, Michaela and Dorothy followed behind on horseback.

The dark gray sky glowed red in the distance. It was brightening and widening. Even by changing course, they weren't certain they could outrun it. The distant wall of blazing red-hot flames moved closer, marching and advancing across the plains like an army, destroying everything in its path.

* * *

"Brian, I'm scared," Josef said. He was huddled with Katie in the back of the wagon staring down the encroaching wall of flames. Brian held both children in front of him with his arms draped over their shoulders.

"I'm scared, too," Katie said, as she put her arm around her younger brother, trembling with fear. From his seat next to Brian, Eyes Like the Sky held New Promise tight to his chest.

"Don't worry," Brian said to calm them, though his own heart was pounding fast. "Pa'll figure something out." He watched with unease as the long band of red light against the horizon moved toward them.

Sully and Running Wolf pushed the horses hard, harder than they should be ridden given the weight in the wagon. Both of them knew they couldn't keep up this pace for long.

"Sully," Running Wolf called to get his attention. Sully glanced over at him, noticing the anxious expression on his face. "There's a stream several miles to the west. We'll be safe if we can make it there."

"How do ya know?" Sully yelled over the roar of the advancing fire, and the pounding of the horse's hooves.

"I know the territory," he replied. "Trust me."

Sully didn't know how he knew this land so well, but he trusted him. "All right, let's go."

Running Wolf pulled up on the reins, guiding the wagon to the left. The women followed close behind on horseback. Michaela could already feel the smoke as it grew more intense, and she rummaged for a bandana to cover her mouth. Dorothy followed her lead, scrambling for the kerchief she kept tucked inside her blouse. Despite the fear welling up inside of them, the three women continued to ride hard, keeping up with the men and children in the wagon ahead.

It seemed that no matter how fast they rode, the fire continued to gain on them. As they raced toward the stream, the area burning to the east began to grow wider and rise higher.

The wind intensified, transforming the blaze into a fierce torrent of flames, which curled up and leaped along, its hot breath threatening destruction. The sea of flames, crackling and roaring, climbed high in the sky like tall red and orange columns, as dark clouds of smoke reached skyward, changing it from a bright blue to a reddish black.

Sully's eyes were fixed on the fire roaring toward them like a runaway train. "It's comin' too fast," he shouted.

"I know," Running Wolf replied. He desperately urged the horses to move even faster. They both knew they couldn't outrun the fire, but they had to try. Despite the incredible odds stacked against them, it was all they could do.

From a safe distance, they might have marveled at the sheer magnificence of such a force of nature. However, with their lives in danger, the majestic beauty of this towering inferno was overshadowed by the terror of a demon beyond their control.

"Sully!" Michaela called. She rode up alongside him, coughing, as smoke filled her lungs.

"We gotta keep movin', Michaela," Sully yelled, forcing the horses to go even faster.

"We can't outrun it," she shouted, struggling to keep up as her eyes burned and her chest felt thick with smoke.

"We got no choice," Sully replied, hacking from the smoke in his lungs.

"Sully, we can't outrun this fire," she argued, panic rising with her. "There must be some other way."

"We need ta keep goin' toward the stream. We can't slow down now," Sully insisted, flicking the reins with greater urgency.

Night Crane rode up beside her husband. She too, had to cough before she could speak. "I have an idea."

"What do you suggest?" Running Wolf asked, though he continued to push the horses forward.

"We need to set another fire," Night Crane replied.

"Another fire? What good is that when we can't even keep ahead of this one?" Michaela asked, incredulous.

"It just might work," Running Wolf answered, easing up on the reins to slow down the horses. "We need to deprive the fire of its fuel source. If we were to start another fire, when the two fires came together, they would fight each other and eventually die away or change direction. When warring tribes used fire against one another on the Plains, setting a counter fire was the only way for the tribe being attacked to save their camp. It's our only chance."

"I read about a farmer in Kansas who saved his farm by setting a fire to fight a prairie fire," Dorothy supplied, having joined her friends.

Sully and Michaela looked at each other as they considered the idea, both of them thinking it might work. But, even more importantly, they had run out of options. They would all burn to death if they didn't try something soon. At the rate the fire was moving, it would be impossible to reach the stream in time.

Sully drew the wagon to a halt. "How we gonna make a fire that big," he asked out loud, though he was talking mostly to himself.

"I've got something," Night Crane said, as she pulled out a piece of flint.

Running Wolf took the flint from his wife and watched as the fire continued to press forward from the east like a roaring tornado. "Sully and I will ride out toward the fire to meet it, and then we will set the other fire. You stay here with the children." He climbed down from the wagon and borrowed his wife's horse; Sully took Flash.

Michaela reached out to touch her husband's arm. "Please be careful."

"Always." He briefly caressed her face then swiftly mounted Flash and rode out toward the fire. Running Wolf mounted the other horse and followed closely behind Sully.

The women and children waited at a safe distance silently praying their plan would work. Few words were spoken among them as they watched the fire rage toward them like a hurricane, their nerves on edge.

A short, but safe, distance away, Running Wolf crouched down with the piece of flint. It took only a few seconds for the long stems of dry, brittle grass to begin to smoke before they ignited into flames. Nearby, Sully had lit another fire hoping the two fires would join into one to fight the raging inferno. When the two small fires were lit, both men fanned the flames then stepped back to watch as the small fires became one and spread rapidly, fueled by the wind and dry grass. It didn't take long for the fire to grow stronger and bigger, engulfing the area around them. Through a haze of smoke, Sully and Running Wolf mounted their horses and rode back to the wagon just as the heat began to scorch their skin. They hoped their efforts would slow or redirect the fire and not feed it further. Back with the others, they watched and waited for the two fires to collide.

The main fire continued its march forward, lighting and heating the sky. The travelers watched as the new, smaller fire reached for the giant enemy. Now fire was fighting fire. Both fires whirled and twisted into one crimson inferno, flames shooting upward at least fifty feet into the air. The burning grass crackled and hissed. It was impossible to tell the fires apart as they continued their fiery dance.

Several minutes later, the crimson monster appeared to be turning its course. The counter-fire the men had set had successfully battled the larger mass of flames, causing it to seek easier passage to the south. In its wake, it left a narrow strip of charred blackened and barren land beckoning the travelers to safety.

Sully was finally able to let out the breath he was holding. "We gotta hurry. With this wind, it could turn back at any time." Swiftly, the men assumed their seats in the wagon.

The great fire moved to the south. It was still close enough that black ashes rained down all around them. They could feel the heat of the flames and hear its mighty roar. Running Wolf and Sully guided the wagon as fast as they could through the charred path and away from immediate danger. Eventually, the wagon broke through the smoky haze. The further away they got from the fire, the density of the smoke lessened, allowing them to breath easier.

The women galloped close behind and watched as the wagon disappeared into the thick, swirling cloud of gray in front of them, presumably to safety on the other side. Their eyes stung from the smoke and their own path to safety began to blur as the wind abruptly shifted.

A fierce gust blew through the counter-fire, dragging a portion of its flames across the barren trail that the wagon had just traveled. All of a sudden, a new fire ignited in their way, blocking their course and impeding their ability to follow behind the others.

With loud neighs of fright, all three horses reared back on their hind legs. Night Crane was tossed to the ground. In an instant, Michaela leapt off her horse and was by her friend's side, as the flames surrounded them. She helped Night Crane back on her horse before mounting her own horse, as the heat intensified. The three women moved quickly through the hazy smoke when they suddenly stopped short. A huge wall of flames blocked their passage. They were trapped.

* * *

When they were no longer in danger from the fire, Running Wolf pulled up on the reins to stop the horses. A shadow fell across his face as he stood, covered in black ash, stunned by the charred surface of the land, dotted white by the ruined nests of prairie hens.

"Is everyone all right?" Sully turned around to check on the children who were crouched low, huddled together with Brian.

"Yeah, we're fine," Brian answered, as he stretched out his legs from their cramped position.

"Is it over now, Papa?" Katie asked, crawling forward on her knees to be near her father.

"It's over. We're safe now." Sully jumped down from the wagon noticing the black soot and holes in the canvas cover. The smell of smoke was everywhere, their clothes, their hair, and their supplies. He turned away from the singed canvas to lift Katie to the ground. "Michaela, are all o' you all right?"

There was no answer.

"Michaela," he called again, as he helped Josef to the ground.

"Night Crane," Running Wolf called. He held the baby over his shoulder, coughing from the smoke in his lungs. Hearing nothing in return, he exchanged an anxious glance with Sully as the two men walked around to the rear of the wagon.

"Night Crane!" Running Wolf's heart thumped, wild with fear, when he realized the women weren't there.

"Give 'em time. They'll be here," Sully said, refusing to even consider an alternative.

Running Wolf stared straight ahead into the smoky darkness. "I don't understand. They were right behind us."

"The smoke was real thick on the back side of the fire. Maybe they got turned around," Sully offered, by way of explanation.

"Where's Mama?" Josef asked. He clutched his father's hand, frightened.

Sully drew the little boy in front of him, draping his arms over his shoulders, as he stood fixed in place, waiting for Michaela to emerge through the thick smoke. "Don't worry. She'll be here."

Running Wolf gave him a troubled look. "I hope you're right."

"I gotta be right," he whispered. Sully couldn't take his eyes off of the path they had just taken, expecting that, at any moment, he would see all three women riding out of the haze. Soon the children joined their fathers and together they stood as one, silently waiting. They waited for several moments, that seemed even longer, and still no one came.

"Maybe one of them's hurt," Brian said. His gut was twisted in worry.

"Maybe," Sully murmured. "Let's ride back a ways an' see."

Running Wolf nodded then handed New Promise back to his brother, and mounted his horse.

"Brian, I need ya ta stay with the kids," Sully told him.

"Sure, Pa. Don't worry about us. Just find Ma," he said, his voice breaking.

"I will." Sully covered his nose and mouth with a bandana then mounted his horse.

Katie looked up at her father. "Mama's gonna be okay. Right?" she asked, bravely holding back tears.

"She'll be fine," he reassured, with all the confidence he could muster.

Running Wolf turned to his son. "Listen to Brian. Do you understand?"

"Yes, father," Eyes Like the Sky replied, nervous about being left alone.

The two men rode back the way they came, stunned by the destruction of the land before them. They didn't get far along the path they had taken, before it came to an abrupt halt, the area consumed in a torrid blaze. The raging flames told them the women had been trapped on the other side. Sully and Running Wolf stopped as close to the fire as they dared watching the land burn with intensity. After staring helplessly for several moments, Sully retrieved his canteen and began to douse himself with water.

Running Wolf grabbed his arm, stilling it. "You can't! No one can get through that. It's an inferno."

"I gotta try," he choked out, his head down and his voice heartbroken. "We can't just leave 'em."

Running Wolf kept hold of his arm. "There's nothing we can do. They must have gotten trapped when the wind shifted and the fire twisted back. We have to hope they had time to change direction."

Sully lowered his canteen. "Maybe they saw the fire twist back and they rode ta where it was safe until they could find an opening."

"We have to trust that they will find a way to stay safe," Running Wolf said, fear gripping his heart.

"I need ta do something," Sully shouted in frustration.

"There's nothing we can do," Running Wolf said, sharing his frustration.

"You don't understand." Sully's voice quivered.

Running Wolf gazed into Sully's haunted eyes in silent mutual empathy, "I do."

Sully nodded in acknowledgment then turned his gaze back to the fire. "Michaela," he whispered, his eyes fixed on the enormous wall of flame.

The men stood in a silent daze. They were consumed with the desire to do something, anything to help their wives, but gradually realized there was nothing they could do, except wait. Finally Running Wolf spoke, "we should return to the children."

Filled with fear for their wives, and dreading what they were going to tell the children, Sully and Running Wolf made their way back to the wagon. All five children surrounded them and peppered them with questions that had no answers.

"Where's Mama?" Josef asked, his voice shaking from his disappointment at not seeing her.

"She's not here yet, Joe," his father explained in an even tone.

"Why didn't you find them?" Eyes Like the Sky asked, his lip trembling.

Running Wolf didn't have an answer. "She'll be back," he replied with more hope than reason.

"She's okay. Right Papa?" Katie asked, tears threatening.

"Yeah, she'll be fine," he replied, smoothing her hair. "They probably had ta go another way."

"There wasn't another way," Brian said, fear rising within him.

"Brian." Sully cut him off with a sharp glare.

"Pa, we gotta help 'em," Brian whispered to Sully, trying not to alarm the children. "They could be trapped."

"There's nothin' we can do," Sully said, his voice pained and his face drawn with emotion. "We gotta wait."

Brian turned around and headed for his horse. Running Wolf grabbed his arm to stop him. "Sully's right, Brian. It's far too dangerous to go back."

Tears welled in his eyes. "But…."

"I know," Running Wolf said, as he guided him from the horse, squeezing his shoulder.

"Brian, she's gonna be all right," Sully reassured, as much for his own benefit as his son's. "I can feel it."

"I hope so," Brian replied, deciding he needed to trust his father.

As Sully brushed the soot and dirt from his clothes, he felt a searing pain shoot down his arm. The material on the sleeves of his shirt hung loose in tatters, having been scorched by the fire. Rolling up his sleeve, he winced slightly from the pain, revealing a large burn on the back of his forearm. His eyes instinctively recoiled from the angry burn, oozing with blisters. Holding his arm with his other hand, he walked to the back of the wagon to find the medical supplies he remembered Michaela leaving behind.

Josef followed him. He was feeling uneasy with his mother still missing and he wanted to stay close to his father. "Whatcha lookin' for?" his son asked.

"Somethin' for my arm. It's burnt," Sully replied, as he continued rummaging through their supplies.

At the sight of the ugly burn, Josef covered his eyes with his hand and turned away. "Does it hurt?"

"Some." Sully found the ointment, but first he poured water over the wound to clean it. His eyes stinging from the pain, he rubbed salve on the burn then wrapped a bandage around his arm.

"Will Mama be here soon?" Josef asked, leaning into his father.

Sully lifted him up and held him as the little boy rested his head on his father's shoulder. "Soon." He caressed his son's head while he stared out toward the red sky thinking about Michaela.

Running Wolf found Sully standing at the back of the wagon staring blankly ahead. "Our wives are smart. They will find another way to safety."

Sully didn't respond. He loathed feeling helpless. With each passing minute, he found it increasingly difficult to quell the fear and panic rising within him.

_To Be Continued..._


	16. Chapter 16

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Michaela, Dorothy, and Night Crane rode their horses at a frantic pace to escape the hurrying flames. The new blaze had blocked their path, forcing them to travel back the way they had come. Blinded by stinging smoke, their hair wild, and their clothes singed, they pushed forward, refusing to be slowed down by the burning in their lungs.

With the fire's hot breath bearing down on them, they rode harder and faster. For over an hour, they pushed themselves and their horses to the northwest as hard as they dared until they made it out of the fire's direct path. Eventually, the smoky haze thinned enabling them to see each other, and the surrounding landscape, clearly once again. The danger lessened, they slowed the horses to a stop to catch their breath and examine their options.

Michaela hunched over Flash's mane, collapsing from exhaustion. She couldn't stop coughing from the smoke that had settled in her lungs. After a few more hacking coughs that shook her entire body, they finally subsided enough for her to speak. "Is…is everyone all…all right?"

Dorothy could only nod in reply as she coughed from the stinging dryness in her throat.

Night Crane didn't respond.

Michaela turned toward the young Indian woman concerned by her silence. "You're burned!" she said, alarmed.

Night Crane rubbed the smoke from her burning eyes. She glanced down at her leg, which was throbbing from the pain. "It is nothing."

"I need to clean and bandage it," Michaela said, straightening on her horse, preparing to dismount.

Night Crane stared at the fire continuing its march toward them. "We don't have time. This can wait until we are safe."

"Should we make another fire?" Dorothy asked, taking a sip of water from her canteen.

Michaela looked out at the fires in the distance. "No. With the fire splitting off into two large fires as it did, I don't think that would be wise. We were fortunate it worked the first time."

"The fire appears to be weakening," Night Crane observed, as she stared at the ominous sky. "Perhaps if we ride further north, we will find a section that's passable."

Michaela turned her gaze to the north. The sky was not as thick with smoke as it had been. "It's worth a try."

"How will we find the others?" Dorothy asked, pouring water from her canteen to wash the black ash from her face.

"First we must secure our safety; then we will find the others," Night Crane responded.

"Night Crane is right," Michaela said. "Once we're safe, I'm certain we can find our way back to Sully, Running Wolf, and the children."

"We must hurry," Night Crane said, flicking the reins to motion her horse forward.

"Do you think they're all right?" Dorothy asked with concern, as she rode up beside Michaela.

"They should be," Michaela replied. "The wagon made it through before the fire doubled back and trapped us. I'm quite certain they're safe."

"Running Wolf will be worried," Night Crane said.

"So will Sully," Michaela replied, barely audible.

The women guided their horses toward the north as the fire continued to advance behind them. Over the past hour, the wind had changed direction, losing some of its speed. With the wind no longer serving as an accelerant, the fires' strength and velocity weakened. This change of fortune allowed the women to put increasing distance between themselves and the scorching flames.

They continued to travel northward, looking for an area where they could pass. On the way, they noticed large sections of barren earth that had already been destroyed by the fire. Continuing north, they headed toward the stream that Running Wolf had mentioned. As the stream came into view, they noticed an expanse of charred terrain. It was safe to assume that the fire had passed through earlier.

"We can cross here," Michaela said, motioning for the others to follow.

All three horses turned to the right to traverse a narrow road leading to the stream. The preceding weeks without rain reduced the once mighty stream to nothing more than a shallow pond. Still, the women were overjoyed to see water. As they guided their horses closer to the banks of the stream, they could hear the sound of frogs croaking and water trickling over the rocks. At the water's edge, all three women dismounted, leaving the horses free to drink.

"Water!" Dorothy exclaimed. "Oh, am I glad to see water. I can't wait to wash up. I need to get this black soot off me and wash away the smell of smoke."

"I know what you mean," Night Crane agreed, as she brushed the ash from her clothes. The pain in her leg was searing through her body, but she tried to push it away.

Michaela retrieved her medical bag and approached Night Crane. "First, I'm going to treat your burn. Dorothy, please check for any burns or cuts. They could become infected if not treated properly."

"I will, but I'm not burnt, just dirty. I'm going down to the stream to wash up."

When Dorothy left, Michaela knelt down to examine Night Crane's leg. She gently lifted the material of her torn doeskin skirt revealing a small patch of skin on her calf that had been seared by the fire, leaving a raw, bright red wound. Michaela ripped a clean piece of material from her petticoat and dampened it with water from her canteen. Taking great care not to hurt her, she dabbed at the area to clean it. When the water touched her burn, Night Crane flinched from the pain.

"I know it stings," Michaela sympathized, as she opened her medical bag to remove an ointment. "I'm afraid this will hurt, too."

"The pain…is…bad," Night Crane uttered breathlessly. Her entire body felt drained and weak from racing the flames, inhaling smoke, and now the burn.

"I'm sorry," Michaela said, applying the salve as gently as she could.

"I know you have to do it. I have seen your medicine work," Night Crane said, inhaling deeply. "You were always kind to my people."

Michaela tentatively raised her head to meet her gaze.

* * *

"I gotta do somethin'," Sully told Running Wolf. He had been sitting by the side of the wagon for over an hour, his hands wrapped around a cup of cold coffee, waiting for Michaela to return. Mostly, he was placating himself with logical explanations for why she hadn't shown up yet, because anything else was unthinkable. "I can't just sit here."

"What are you thinking?" Running Wolf asked, as he stopped in front of him. He had been walking back and forth trying to calm his crying son. It seemed nothing he did helped. New Promise was hungry and only his mother could fulfill that need.

Sully rose to his feet to face him. "It's been over an hour since they got trapped. If they could get through, they'd be here by now. So, I figure they had ta go another way. We gotta find 'em."

Running Wolf repositioned the baby on his shoulder. "Sully, we don't know which direction they headed. It's best to remain here. At least they know where we are."

"I can't do nothin'," Sully said frustrated, as he emptied his coffee on the ground. "What if they're hurt?"

"Your wife's a doctor. She can do more than either of us," Running Wolf said sensibly.

Sully loathed feeling so helpless. It went against his nature to wait around, doing nothing. "I need ta try an' find 'em."

Running Wolf patted New Promise's back. The baby had cried himself to sleep and now rested on his father's shoulder. He sympathized with the desperate look in Sully's eyes. "If they made it, they would have headed north."

"Ta the stream?"

"I believe so," Running Wolf replied.

"What are we waitin' for?" Sully said, setting the coffee cup on the back of the wagon and turning around to leave.

Running Wolf grasped his arm. "What if they're not at the stream?"

"We'll keep lookin'." Sully gazed absently toward the distant horizon.

"For how long?" Running Wolf asked, staring hard at him.

"Long as it takes. I'm not givin' up," Sully said, his voice cracking. "When I fell from a cliff and was thought dead, Michaela never gave up. She searched for me day an' night for days. I'd be dead if she'd given up."

Running Wolf let go of Sully's arm and remained silent for a long time. No words were needed to convey the meaning in the Indian's somber expression.

"They're not dead!" Sully snapped, his nerves raw and on edge.

"Sully, the flames…they were strong. There is a possibility…that they didn't…"

"No!" Sully cut him off as a sharp shiver of fear slid up his spine. "I'd know if Michaela was dead. You don't understand. I'd feel it. She's not dead." He brushed past him to ready his horse and to escape the negative thoughts. Then he turned around once more to face Running Wolf. "I'm goin', with or without you."

Running Wolf watched him for a long moment. "I'm coming with you." The Indian looked to the sky to study which way the smoke had gone. The sky was clearer toward the north. "We should head north," Running Wolf said, careful not to wake the baby as he settled him in his basket.

"Brian," Sully called, as he was unhitching his horse from the wagon.

The young man approached him, worried about what he was planning to do. "Pa?"

Me an' Runnin' Wolf are gonna look for your ma. I need you ta stay here with the kids," Sully explained, as he readied his horse.

"Sure, Pa. Where're you gonna look?"

"They probably headed north. The sky's clearin' that way. We're gonna go ta the stream. I don't know how long we'll be gone."

"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything here," Brian assured. "Just find Ma."

Katie and Josef came running over when they noticed their father preparing to leave. "Where you goin'? Katie asked, her lip trembling.

Sully knelt down to her level and placed both hands on her shoulders. "Kates, I'm gonna go find your Ma. I need you both ta be brave an' help Brian an' Eyes Like the Sky take care of the baby. Can ya do that for me?"

"You'll bring Mama back?" Josef asked in a tiny voice, his hands clasped behind his back.

Sully patted the top of his head. "I'll do my best."

Katie was on the verge of tears. "Don't go. I'm scared."

Sully stroked her hair. "I gotta go, sweet girl. You'll be safe here with Brian. The fire's gone."

Katie hugged him tight, petrified neither of her parents would return. Sully drew both children into his embrace.

Running Wolf approached his son. "Sully and I are going to look for your mother and the others. I need you to take care of New Promise. He's asleep in the basket."

The little boy panicked at the responsibility. "He'll start crying again when he wakes up."

"He's hungry." Running Wolf felt awful leaving him with an unhappy baby. "Have Katie help you. See if the two of you can find something he might eat until we bring your mother back."

Eyes Like the Sky nodded. "Do you think they're all right?"

Running Wolf averted his eyes. "Your mother is strong. She has survived worse."

Brian approached Running Wolf. "Don't worry. I'll take good care of them."

"Thank you," Running Wolf said, hugging his son.

"We best be goin'," Sully said, as he mounted his horse. Running Wolf climbed atop his horse and the two of them rode off disappearing into the smoky haze.

* * *

"Pardon me?" Michaela said, unsure of her meaning. She stared into the young woman's eyes; they were eyes that revealed more of life's struggles than her age betrayed.

Night Crane held Michaela's gaze. "When I was a young girl, I remember you brought medicine to my village. You were always so kind. I have never known such kindness from a white person."

Michaela's eyes widened as her meaning sank in. "You…you were part of Black Kettle's village?"

Night Crane nodded. "My people called you Medicine Woman."

Michaela shivered upon hearing that name again after so many years. "Black Kettle gave me that name."

"I am his niece," she told her. "You saved many lives in our village. My uncle trusted you."

"I trusted him, too," she said. Feeling overwhelmed by this revelation, Michaela lowered her eyes to finish tying the end of the bandage she had wrapped around the burn. "Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"I wanted to wait for the right time," she told her, lowering her skirt and taking a seat on the ground. "I wasn't positive at first. It had been so many years. After all that had happened to me and my people, it seemed like another lifetime ago. I didn't trust my memories." She paused to collect her thoughts. "The more time we spent with you, I realized that I remembered Sully from our village. Then I recalled the woman doctor who brought us medicine and I thought it had to be you. I was pleased to know you married him."

Michaela's cheeks flushed. "Were we that obvious?"

"To many, yes," she said with a smile.

Michaela struggled to order the many questions that came to mind. "Was your family…?" she couldn't complete the question.

Night Crane nodded with downcast eyes. "Yes, my family was killed at the Washita."

Michaela sat down on the ground, bringing her hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry." She hesitated, uncertain if she should ask her next question. "How…I mean…what?" she stammered.

"How did I survive?"

Michaela nodded slightly, unable to voice the question.

Night Crane noticed the sober expression on her face. "I have asked that question many times. Why did I survive when so many, including my entire family, died?" She paused to take a sip of water from her canteen. "I have wondered if there was a purpose to my being spared, but if that is the case, it has not yet been revealed to me."

"How old were you?"

"Eighteen."

"Do you remember much about the battle?"

"I remember everything." As the details of that night came flooding back, she was caught up in the images of memories long ago. "On the night the Army took our village by surprise, I was asleep in our lodge. It had snowed all day and there were several feet on the ground. The night was bitter cold. My mother, her sister, my brother and I were huddled together to keep warm." Night Crane wrapped her arms around herself as if chilled. "I awoke to the sound of gunfire. My brother grabbed his bow and rushed out to help defend the camp. My mother told us to remain quiet and still. My father was with a group of men, all of whom sprang into action, grabbing rifles and charging to meet the enemy. As the soldiers grew closer, my mother ushered us out of the lodge in an attempt to escape. We ran through snow up to our knees, deeper into the woods. As we ran, my mother was shot in the back. I turned around and saw her lying on the ground, blood pooling around her. I wanted to go to her, but my aunt yelled for me to keep running. Then she, too, was shot in the back. I had never been so scared in my life. Shaking in terror and too tired to run through the snow any longer, I crawled under a bush to hide. I watched in horror as the bullets from guns and arrows from bowstrings whizzed through the air. I heard the screams of women and children grow more desperate as our brave warriors tried in vain to keep the soldiers from advancing. The gunshots, screams and cries were replaced by an unnatural quiet, as most of my people lay still, as if they were sleeping in a sea of red."

As Michaela listened to her story, her own images of the aftermath of the battle site at Washita came rushing back to her. The overwhelming sadness of that day had taken hold inside her, never having found a way out. She had tucked it away, but she had never forgotten. Wiping away her tears, she remained quiet, letting Night Crane continue.

"The soldiers then set fire to everything. They burned our lodges, destroying all the winter provisions, robes, and sacred articles."

At that moment, Dorothy returned from washing at the stream, her hair and skin clean, but her clothes were still a smoky gray. She paused behind a tree as she heard Night Crane's voice recounting her experience at Washita. As she listened to the young woman's story, her heart went out to her. She understood why Michaela had been drawn to her. Perhaps it was time to give the young woman a chance. Not wanting to intrude, Dorothy remained behind the tree listening. She had heard Michaela recount the events at Washita and had even written an article about it. But as she listened to Night Crane's story, she felt physical pain at the thought of what the Cheyenne endured and of Cloud Dancing's anguish at finding his wife murdered by soldiers. On this day Washita became real to her in a whole new way.

"What happened after the battle?" Michaela asked, twisting the frayed ends of her singed blouse. Though her curious mind wanted a first hand account of what happened, she wasn't entirely certain she was prepared for what she might hear.

"There were about fifty of us who survived. Most were women, children and old ones. The Army rounded us up and took us away like a herd of cattle to Camp Supply. What I remember most was the cold. My hands and feet were frozen to the bone. We were walking through snow, without warm robes or blankets. Many of the young ones couldn't keep up and kept falling down in the snow. I picked up a small child and carried her on my back the rest of the way. Her parents had been killed as well. We were given nothing to eat."

Michaela's body trembled from the inhumanity. "It must have been awful for you."

"I never felt so alone. My parents were dead, my brother was dead, and my uncle, the greatest man I had ever known, was dead. I was scared. I cried all night long. That's when the old woman, White Thunder, named me Night Crane. The Crane is a symbol of sorrow and tears. I embraced my new name. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. Golden Feather had died at the Washita, and was replaced by Night Crane."

Dorothy emerged from behind the tree and walked toward her horse, trying not to disturb the conversation between Night Crane and Michaela. She felt like an unwanted third party.

Michaela noticed how uncomfortable Dorothy appeared, but it wasn't her place to ask her friend to join them. She glanced at Night Crane and again at Dorothy.

"Dorothy," Night Crane called. "Please join us."

Dorothy was searching her saddlebags for something to eat. The women hadn't eaten since morning. She turned toward Night Crane. "Oh, I don't want to intrude."

Night Crane waved her over. "After surviving that fire together, I don't have any secrets from either of you. Please, sit down."

"Night Crane was about to tell me what happened to her after Washita. She is one of the survivors."

Dorothy brought her hand to her chest. "Oh, my."

"Where did you go afterward?" Michaela's tone was sympathetic.

"Camp Supply." Night Crane looked out across the plains wrestling with her painful memories.

Michaela reached for her hand and squeezed it. "You don't have to go on."

Night Crane met her eyes. "I do. I need to tell what happened." Though her story was known to the people in her village, she had only ever told it out loud to her husband. Out here, she hoped that by sharing it with new friends, she could make it more manageable. Perhaps by wrapping it in words, she might finally be able to fold it away.

Michaela and Dorothy sat with rapt attention waiting for the young woman to continue.

"Our life at Camp Supply was difficult. After surviving the massacre by the Army, many of my people succumbed to disease. Some of the soldiers treated us kindly, even though we were prisoners, but others were cruel. They denied us food and medical care." She stopped for a moment, finding it more difficult than she expected to give voice to memories that still held such pain. "One day, I decided to take a walk to the river. I needed to think about what had happened. On my way back, a soldier stopped me. He spoke to me, but at that time, I didn't understand or speak English. When I tried to go around him to return to camp, he grabbed my arm." She drew her knees up, hugging them with her arms, careful to avoid the burn on her leg. "Before I knew what was happening, he pushed me to the ground and he was on top of me."

Dorothy gasped, knowing what was coming.

"He ripped my clothes and touched in me places no one ever had before. I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth with his hand. When I bit him, he slapped me. I tried to move, to get him off me, but I couldn't. He was too strong." Night Crane was recounting her story as if in a trance. There was no emotion on her face and her voice was flat. "When he finished, he left me lying on the ground. For many years after, I could still smell the stench of alcohol and stale tobacco. I curled up and cried, never feeling so ashamed. I vowed no one would find out about my dishonor."

Michaela finally let out the breath she was holding. "It wasn't your fault. You…you were raped."

"In time I came to understand that," she replied. "But, that wasn't the only time."

"What do you mean?" Dorothy asked.

"For several weeks after that, every few nights, men came to take me to him. I felt dirty and ashamed. No one did anything to stop it. We weren't people to many of the soldiers. By the time we were moved to the reservation in the Oklahoma territory, I was with child. I couldn't keep the shame from my people any longer." Night Crane took a deep breath, relieved to be finished.

"Surely, they understood it wasn't your fault," Michaela said, full of compassion.

"Most of them did. Many women were treated the same. Still, it was difficult for Eyes Like the Sky. Even though no one blamed me, it didn't change the fact that my son had the blood of a white soldier inside him. The children teased him and many people distrusted him."

"He was only an innocent child," Dorothy said in sympathy.

"Eyes Like the Sky had trouble making friends. You know him. He is a quiet child. He is ashamed of his white half. After a time, I thought it would be best if we left the Indian Agency. We escaped with several families to the north to start a new life. It was hard for him there, too. He spent most of his time alone in the woods. That's where he met Running Wolf."

"He met Running Wolf?" Michaela questioned with a slight smile on her face.

"Yes. Running Wolf lived on his own between the Cheyenne and Crow lands. He also preferred to spend much of his time alone. I have always believed Eyes Like the Sky could have been Running Wolf's son. They are so alike."

"I always felt the same way about Sully and Brian," Michaela concurred.

"A bond began to form between them. Running Wolf taught my son to hunt and track. At first I was concerned about how close the two of them were becoming. I didn't want Eyes Like the Sky to be hurt. But, after a time, the three of us started spending time together."

"And you fell in love?" Dorothy finished for her.

"It wasn't as easy as that," Night Crane clarified.

"It never is," Michaela said knowingly.

"Running Wolf is Crow, an enemy of the Cheyenne. I vowed to raise my son Cheyenne. I told myself I could never be with someone who wasn't Cheyenne. To make it even more complicated, we were both haunted by our pasts. I was afraid of getting close to a man. He was afraid of my knowing aspects of his past. We both pushed each other away."

"But, somehow you worked it out," Dorothy assumed.

"It took many years of friendship. Slowly we both gave in to our growing feelings. We decided to let the past rest and build a new life together off the reservations. Running Wolf is the kindest, most honorable man I have ever known."

"How long have you been married?" Michaela asked.

"Over two years. After New Promise was born, we decided to return to the reservation to raise our children in the ways of their Cheyenne grandfathers."

"It will be difficult."

"Even more than you know," she replied.

* * *

After the women were clean and rested, they left the stream to ride south in a different direction, eager to find their way back to their loved ones. They rode through monotonous miles of charred grass, and as night was beginning to suggest itself, they picked up their pace, fearful of losing their way in the darkness. The rumbling in their stomachs reminded them it had been hours since any of them had eaten.

"Now what?" Dorothy asked, as they slowed their horses in an area that looked the same in all directions. The ground was flat and burnt for as far as the eye could see.

"I'm afraid I didn't pay enough attention to how we'd get back," Michaela said, looking out toward the horizon. It was bathed in the last throw of golden light.

"We were too busy trying to escape the flames," Night Crane reasoned, as she, too, couldn't decide on a direction to head.

"We just have to pick a way and trust it," Dorothy said, though she didn't have the faith to decide.

"I see something," Night Crane announced, as she squinted her eyes. "Someone's coming."

"Where?" Dorothy said, shielding her eyes from the setting sun. "I don't see anything."

"Sully," Michaela breathed. She recognized her husband by the way his hair moved in the wind when he was riding fast.

"You sure?" Dorothy asked.

"I see Running Wolf, too," Night Crane said, taking off toward the two riders. Michaela and Dorothy followed close behind.

"Do you see what I see?" Running Wolf said, breathing a deep sigh of relief.

"They're all right," Sully replied. Intense relief washed over him as he pushed his horse faster.

The five horses moved closer to each other across the plains. It seemed to take forever to close the distance between them. Sully was halfway off of his horse before it came to a full stop. He ran to Michaela to help her to the ground. She looked into his eyes with barely a hint of emotion and then fell into his arms. Feeling safe at last, she laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms tightly around his back. His heart was pounding as he crushed her to his chest. No words were spoken as the two of them just held onto each other. A similar scene unfolded a few feet away between Running Wolf and Night Crane. Feeling like an outsider, Dorothy looked away, slowly dismounting from her horse. She pretended to be looking for something, so as not to disturb the intimate reunions.

Sully finally pulled back slightly to look into Michaela's eyes as he caressed her face. "Are you all right?"

She dropped her head to his shoulder once again. "Yes. Just hold me."

Sully drew her tight to his chest again and stroked the back of her head. They stood like that for several moments slowly rocking back and forth in each other's arms.

Running Wolf held Night Crane in his arms, feeling a tension in her that matched his own. "I was so worried about you."

"I am fine," she told him, relaxing against his chest. "The children?"

"New Promise is hungry, but otherwise I am sure they are fine. Brian is looking after them." He gave her a soft kiss.

"I want to see them," Night Crane said, stepping out of her husband's embrace.

"You're burned," he said alarmed, noticing the bandage around her leg.

"I am fine. Dr. Mike took care of it."

Sully continued to hold his wife. "How 'bout we get back ta the kids before it gets dark," he whispered in her ear, letting his lips brush the lobe.

Michaela nodded then reluctantly stepped back. It had taken all her strength and courage to keep focused on escaping the fire. Now that she was back in Sully's arms, she finally felt the fear that had been bottled up inside her. Sully could read the fright in her eyes. He leaned into her, kissing her slow and soft.

Michaela kissed him back and when they separated, she leaned back to look into his eyes. "Are the children all right?"

"They're fine…just worried 'bout you. We all were." He helped Michaela back on her horse then he approached Dorothy. Catching her off guard, Sully gave her a gentle hug. "I'm glad you're all right."

Startled by his rare show of affection toward her, Dorothy returned his embrace. "Thank you."

"Are we ready to go back?" Running Wolf stood with his arm around his wife.

"Let's go," Sully replied, as he helped Dorothy onto her horse, and then mounted his own.

* * *

"Were the flames really chasing you?" Katie asked, as she lay on her bedroll in the tent.

Michaela tucked the blanket around her daughter. "They were in our path, yes."

"Tell us again how you ran from the fire," Josef said, stretched out with his hands behind his head.

"And how Papa found you," Katie added.

Michaela smoothed back her hair. "Let's just say we found each other."

"Were you scared?" Josef asked.

She leaned down to kiss his cheek. "We talked enough about fires for one day. It's time for all of us to go to sleep. We'll arrive at the reservation tomorrow."

Brian stood near the flap of the tent watching his siblings pepper his mother with questions. It amused him that, now that the danger had passed, their perspective shifted from fear for their mother's safety to excitement over her adventure.

Eyes Like the Sky rolled over on his side to face Michaela. The little boy had been sleeping in the tent with Katie and Josef for most of their trip. "Will the Army still let me play with your children at the reservation?"

"Of course you may still play with Katie and Josef for as long as we're visiting. You're also going to meet other nice children to become friends with."

Night Crane entered the tent to say goodnight to her son. "New Promise is asleep."

"Does your burn hurt?" Eyes Like the Sky asked his mother with worry.

"No, it doesn't hurt." Night Crane leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," the boy replied.

"Goodnight Mama," Josef said.

"Goodnight sweethearts," Michaela replied, as she exited the tent with Night Crane.

Dorothy waited outside to say goodnight. Though tired from the day's ordeal, she felt reluctant to separate from her friends. Surviving the fire together had forged a new understanding and closeness among the three women.

Giving in to their exhaustion, each woman said goodnight and retired to their bedrolls. Dorothy watched as Michaela joined Sully and Night Crane stood beside Running Wolf. She wished that she, too, could lie in a man's arms, safe and protected, just for this one night.

After tending to the horses, Running Wolf slid in beside his wife, pulling her close to him. "Are you asleep?"

"Not anymore," she replied, taking his hand in hers.

"I was terrified today." He kissed the side of her head.

Night Crane brought her hand up to stroke the hair at his temple. "I was frightened, too."

"I don't know what I would do if I lost you," Running Wolf murmured, caressing her hair as it hung like black silk ribbons against her shoulders.

Night Crane snuggled closer to him. "I feel the same." There was silence for a long minute. "I told them everything."

"Who?"

"Dr. Mike and Dorothy. I told them about my past…about remembering Dr. Mike and Sully from my village…Washita…how we met. I spoke only of my past."

"You must trust these women," he said, unsure how he felt about her revelation.

"I do." She kissed her husband. "After today, we share a bond."

"I have never had a white friend," Running Wolf told her.

"Sully could be. No?"

"In time, I think he could," Running Wolf admitted quietly. He reached for her hand under the blanket and squeezed it. "You will always be my best friend."

"And you mine," she replied, taking his hands in hers.

Running Wolf cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently until their passion quickly ignited. Their love, which began as a gentle friendship, had been subtly woven in the midst of a tangle of obstacles in their path from the secrets of their past, to having to overcome their ancestral animosity, to even the difference in their ages. When they finally dared succumbed to their growing feelings, their lives changed completely, as if the past had been chopped away with one swipe of a tomahawk.

Across the camp, Michaela and Sully lay in their bedrolls cuddled up against each other. She had fallen asleep fully clothed in Sully's arms and he hesitated to move for fear of waking her. Instinctively she tucked her hand into the hollow of his arm for warmth. He pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and wrapped his arm around her, holding her to him securely. Michaela stirred and murmured.

"Sully?" she said, groggy with sleep.

"Shh…go back ta sleep." He kissed the top of her head.

She turned in his arms to face him and reached out to touch the bandage on his arm. "What's this?" She hadn't noticed it before because his shirt had hidden it from view.

"Nothin'. You need ta rest."

"Michaela started to rise. "I should examine it."

Sully gently nudged her back down while he hovered over her with his weight resting on his elbows. "I got a minor burn. I took care o' it. There's nothin' ta worry about." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Now, go back ta sleep."

"Are you sure?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"Yep."

"I'll examine it in the morning," she said before growing quiet once again.

In the darkness, lying beside one another, they talked in silence. In their wordless language, Michaela moved her hand to Sully's hip for anchoring, while he gently stroked her temple with his fingers. They remained quiet in their familiar conversation for a long while. Michaela was the first to add a voice.

"Sully?"

"Hmmm…" He had nearly drifted off to sleep.

"Night Crane was part of Black Kettle's band."

Sully was quiet for a time, taking this in. "Ya sure?"

"Yes. She remembered us."

Sully lay on his back staring up at the star-filled sky, his hand clasped with Michaela's resting on his chest. "Why didn't she say nothin' 'fore now?"

"She wasn't positive we were the same people. When she figured it out, she wanted to wait for the right time." Her voice was soft in the night, hesitant and tentative. "Sully…she…she survived Washita." Those words struck him with almost physical force. When he didn't reply, she continued. "She told me what happened to the survivors afterward. You were right about her son. He is half white. She was raped by a soldier at Camp Supply."

"Their sufferin' don't seem ta end."

Michaela squeezed his hand. "Despite everything she's been through, she hasn't given up hope that she can keep the Cheyenne alive through her children."

"That's not gonna be easy when the government wants 'em ta forget they're Indian."

"I suppose nothing worthwhile is ever easy." She threaded her fingers through his and repositioned herself to kiss his chest.

Sully brought their joined hands to his lips for a soft kiss. "If anythin' woulda happened ta ya, I'd never forgiven myself."

Michaela caressed his face. "Sully, this wasn't your fault."

He sighed. "It's my fault we're here. You wanted ta go home."

"I'm glad we came," she reassured him. "I'm even happier we continued on. I wouldn't have wanted to miss getting to know Night Crane and Running Wolf. I'm quite fond of them."

"I owe Runnin' Wolf," Sully agreed then hesitated. "There's somethin' 'bout 'im though…"

"They are very private."

"It's more than that. I can't help thinkin' he's hidin' somethin'." He voiced the nagging concern that he had been trying to let go of.

"With all they've been through, can you blame them for being guarded?"

"I suppose not." Sully lay quiet for a moment then tightened his hold on her. "When ya weren't behind us…I…I was scared…I…."

"I know." She lifted her head to kiss him, her long auburn hair falling down around his face, curtaining it.

Sully brought her into his arms and deepened the kiss, tasting the cool sweetness of her mouth. It was this passion, nourished with extraordinary care, which sustained and protected them in their inevitable times of adversity. He pulled back to gaze into her eyes. "I love you."

"And, I love you." She reached for him and pulled him gently toward her feeling their mouths and limbs stir with mutual hunger. "We have to be quiet."

"Then stop talkin'."

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you all so much for reading!! I really appreciate all the great comments here and on the Forum. I view this chapter as the end of the first half of the story. Their arduous journey is over and they arrive at the reservation in the next chapter. I hope you'll all stay with me to find out what happens there. Thanks again!_


	17. Chapter 17

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Seventeen **

A large horseshoe shaped hill rose above the flat, prairie landscape. The weary travelers knew they had arrived at their destination by the numerous log cabins dotting the grass and the American flags waving in the breeze. The Cheyenne-Arapaho Indian Agency was on the riverbank near a long, low hill in the tree-lined valley of the North Canadian River.

Running Wolf pulled up on the reins to slow his horse. He drew in a halting breath at the sight before him. Sharing a silent, uneasy glance with Sully, he flicked the reins again to continue his approach toward the reservation. The closer he came to the entrance, the tighter his stomach muscles contracted as he faced the reality of his last moments as a free man.

"Ya all right?" Sully asked Running Wolf as he brought his horse to a stop several feet from the entrance.

Running Wolf took several deep breaths as he stared at the divide between freedom and captivity. Looking in Sully's direction, he gave him an almost imperceptible nod. "I am ready."

Two soldiers stood guard on either side of an American flag marking the entrance to the reservation. Upon seeing the strangers, they immediately reached for their weapons and blocked the passageway with their bodies. Taking one look at Running Wolf, they aimed a rifle at the Indian while shouting at him to dismount. When Running Wolf was off his horse, the soldiers pinned his hands behind his back. Sully leapt off his horse and lunged toward the soldier to free his friend. But, before he could reach Running Wolf, he found himself staring down the barrel of a rifle. Slowly, he stepped back with his hands in the air.

"We're not here ta cause trouble," Sully told them, his eyes hard and narrow.

"We're seein' ta that," the soldier snapped, his gun a mere two inches from Sully's chest.

The sight of a gun pointed at her husband caused Michaela to abruptly pull up on the reins to halt the wagon. Before it came to a full stop, she leapt down to rush toward Sully, but was halted by the sturdy body of a six foot soldier, his face hard and stern. "Sir, if you would allow us a moment to explain," Michaela began calmly, though her heart was pounding against her ribcage.

Night Crane was bathed in a flood of hot indignation at the treatment of her husband and Sully. As she watched her husband struggle to rein in his temper, she thought it best to remain on her horse, in the background. She was afraid of how he might react if the soldiers pointed their guns at her or their sons.

The children huddled close together in the rear of the wagon, frightened by the guns and loud voices. Brian crawled into the back to calm them, confident that his parents could handle the confrontation. Dorothy remained atop her horse behind the wagon concerned for her friends. Unconsciously, her eyes couldn't help occasionally drifting across the perimeter of the reservation in search of Cloud Dancing.

With the gun still pointed at him, Sully noticed another man dressed in civilian clothes hurrying toward them. He surmised that he must be the Indian Agent at Darlington, John Miles. Agent Miles had been the Indian Agent for almost a decade, since 1872. He was known to follow the rules, favored assimilation as the only hope for the Indians, and was fair in his treatment of those under his command.

"What's going on here?" Agent Miles asked the soldiers, eyeing the wagon, horses, and the women and children.

"They tried ta get through. We apprehended them," the soldier replied, his gun still aimed at Sully.

Agent Miles faced his men. "Let him go," he said of Running Wolf. "And lower your weapons. These men came here voluntarily with their families. We will first find out why." Then he turned to Sully with an expression that demanded an explanation.

With the gun no longer aimed at his chest, Sully breathed easier. "I came with my family ta visit a friend…Cloud Dancing," he replied as he tried to push down his anger. His eyes scanned the area for any sign of his brother. Seeing none, he turned his attention back toward the Indian Agent.

Agent Miles considered his response as his eyes roamed from the stranger's fringed buckskin jacket, to the large knife and tomahawk hanging from the belt that snugly hugged the hips of his buckskin pants, down to the moccasins on his feet. He raised his eyes back to Sully's face. "This is most unusual. We've never had visitors. I don't believe I can allow visitors."

"Can't or won't?" Sully challenged, his arms crossed at his chest.

"Even prisoners are allowed visitors, sir," Michaela added, moving to stand beside her husband.

"The Indians aren't prisoners."

"Could o' fooled me," Sully replied under his breath, his eyes intently focused on the soldiers.

Agent Miles ignored the sarcastic comment and directed his attention toward Running Wolf. "And what brings you here?"

Running Wolf inhaled deeply. "We have come to live."

Taken aback by this news, Agent Miles asked, "Where is your reservation?"

"Here. We are Cheyenne," Night Crane offered. Once the guns were lowered, she had come to stand beside her husband.

"Where have you been living?"

"In the north," the Indian replied. "We desire to live among my wife's people now."

Agent Miles glanced between Sully and Running Wolf, confused by their alliance.

"We met up on the way here." Sully began. "We were travelin' the same way an' figured it'd be safer ta come together." His voice was thick with resentment from having to explain himself.

Agent Miles ignored his tone as he turned back toward Running Wolf. "I'll escort your family to their living quarters." Then he turned again to Sully. "Your family is welcome to visit. You may camp where you wish. The reservation is peaceful. I don't want any trouble."

"We don't mean ta give ya any," Sully replied, staring sharply at the Agent. With Running Wolf about to leave for his new lodge, Sully pushed down his outrage toward the agent, focused on what mattered most, and approached his friend. He clasped Running Wolf's hand warmly, knowing nothing was ever going to be the same for him and his family again. Unexpectedly, Running Wolf drew Sully into a bear hug.

"I am glad to know you," he told Sully in a shaky voice.

"Same here," Sully said. "Take care o' your family."

Night Crane walked to the wagon and lifted New Promise into her arms. Then she made her way over to say goodbye to Michaela. "I am pleased we have met again," the young women told her.

"We'll visit you as soon as we've set up camp," Michaela reassured, her palm gently resting against the young woman's back.

Night Crane could only nod in reply. With her emotions stirred, she did not have the words she wished to convey. She gave Michaela a warm hug then said goodbye to Dorothy and took Eyes Like the Sky by the hand. Running Wolf and Night Crane followed behind the Indian Agent to their new home. Eyes Like the Sky glanced back at Katie and Josef several times, his face clouded by fear.

As Michaela and Sully watched their friends being escorted to their new home, their eyes continued to scan the area for Cloud Dancing. They noticed immediately the appalling condition of the Indians. Their clothing hung in ragged tatters on their starved bodies. Their pace was slow, as if their daily existence held no purpose for them. Many of those who walked by coughed and wheezed. The only sign of joy in these tragic habitations was the sound of laughter coming from a group of young children up ahead. Having known no different life, they could delight in the ordinary games of youth, unaware of the enormity of what they had lost.

"Let's find a place ta camp. Then we can come back ta look for Cloud Dancin'," Sully suggested, seeing no sign of his friend.

In the distance, Michaela noticed a figure moving slowly in their direction. There was something familiar in his walk, but his loose clothes and thin physique bore no resemblance to anyone she knew. Turning her eyes away from the man, she faced Sully, nodding in agreement. As she climbed into the wagon, she glanced over the top of Sully's head to take another look at the approaching figure. She drew in her breath when she realized it _was_ Cloud Dancing heading toward them. "Sully," she spoke low placing her feet back on the ground and her hand on his back.

Noticing the peculiar look in Michaela's eyes, Sully turned around. He drew in a sharp breath when he saw Cloud Dancing walking slowly toward them. Sully fought to keep down his rage at the sight of the once strong and robust man. Elation over being reunited with Cloud Dancing momentarily quelled his anger and he quickly closed the distance between them, drawing his friend into a tight embrace. The moment they circled their arms around each other, they could feel the miles that had separated them melt away.

"It is good to see you, my brother," Cloud Dancing said, his eyes misted by unshed tears. For a few seconds, they experienced one of those mute moments that often follow an enthusiastic reunion. So much needed to be said, yet neither one knew where to begin. Instead, they stared wordlessly at each other, overcome to be standing in each other's company once again.

Sully couldn't find his voice as a storm of emotions waged war within him. It was so good to see Cloud Dancing again, but not like this, now so thin and frail. He stepped out of their embrace, draped one arm across his shoulders and guided him toward his family.

"Cloud Dancing," Michaela greeted with a warm hug. Her eyes blurred as the joy of seeing him again merged with sorrow over his frail condition.

Cloud Dancing's eyes lingered over each member of the family until they settled on the boy who was now a man. "Brian, you are taller than Sully now," the Indian remarked, shaking the young man's hand.

"It's been a long time," Brian acknowledged. His voice was halted by the emotion of seeing Cloud Dancing after all this time.

"Cloud Dancing, it's good to see you," Dorothy said as she tentatively approached him.

"Dorothy," he said. His tone was level and difficult to read. As Dorothy moved closer to embrace him, Cloud Dancing stepped to the side to greet the younger children. She wasn't sure if his action was intentional or accidental. Either way, she was hurt, and averted her eyes as they welled with tears.

"Who are these children?" Cloud Dancing exclaimed in a playful tone. "Surely, these two young people cannot be Katie and Josef."

"I'm Katie," the little girl said, confidently stepping forward with her hand held out for Cloud Dancing.

Cloud Dancing took her small hand in both of his and directed his gaze toward Sully. "It has been a long time."

"Too long," Sully replied, choked up at the sight of his daughter with her Cheyenne father.

Cloud Dancing faced Katie again. "You must be ten years old now and so beautiful."

"Thank you," she replied in a soft voice.

"She looks more an' more like her ma every day," Sully added, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"You resemble both of your parents. No one could mistake you for anyone else's child." Cloud Dancing approached Josef, who stood quietly by his mother's side, nervous of the stranger who everyone seemed to know except him. "You do not remember me, but I remember you when you were much smaller. It is good to see you again so grown up."

Josef took Cloud Dancing's outstretched hand. "Papa told us about you."

"He speaks about all of you, too," Cloud Dancing replied. "How was your trip?" Cloud Dancing asked Sully.

Thinking the question was addressed to him, Josef replied. "Wolf died, I got lost and Runnin' Wolf found me, Papa got hurt and there was a big fire."

Cloud Dancing turned to Sully, a look of concern spread across his face.

"That pretty much sums it up," Sully said with a grim smile.

"Wolf died?"

"Yeah," Sully replied softly, lowering his eyes to the ground. "He tangled with a cougar."

"I am sorry." Cloud Dancing could tell how hard the loss affected Sully and the effort he waged within himself to keep it hidden.

Forcing his mind back to the present, Sully placed his arm across Cloud Dancing's back. "Come on, we'll tell ya all about it. And we wanna hear how things are here," he said, a bit apprehensive of what he might learn.

"I am afraid I do not have time to visit," Cloud Dancing explained. "There is much sickness," he paused and looked at Michaela. "We could use your help."

"Of course. Let me get my bag."

"What is it?" Sully asked, concerned.

"I am not certain," Cloud Dancing replied.

Sully faced Michaela. "I'll find us a place ta camp an' get everyone settled," he said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Michaela walked away with Cloud Dancing. Together they headed toward the rows of log cabins that now housed Cheyenne and Arapahoe families.

* * *

As they followed behind Agent Miles to their new living quarters, Night Crane was aware of the many eyes fixed upon them. She studied the features of the men, women and children they passed, hoping to recognize a familiar face. These were her people; surely, someone would remember her and be glad she had returned. So absorbed in searching, Night Crane hadn't noticed when they stopped in front of a small wooden cabin. She pushed aside her longing for connection to the tribe of her ancestors to concentrate on the Agent's words.

"You may live here." He pointed to a wooden structure in serious need of repair. Several wooden boards were missing and the one small window was cracked and dirty.

Running Wolf wondered how this wood lodge was superior to a tepee. He knew it wasn't. It was just one more example of the white man imposing his ways on the Indians. He had heard that some elders and members of the soldier societies still lived in tepees on the border of the reservation. As an outsider, he had no status in the tribe to use as leverage for such a privilege. Looking over the dilapidated wooden structure, he made a mental note to ask Sully for help in repairing it.

Agent Miles noticed the Indian's disdain. "It needs some work, but it's a solid structure."

"It will be fine," Running Wolf responded in a dismissive tone.

Agent Miles took his tone as his cue to depart, but before he did, he gave them instructions, making it clear they would now be living according to someone else's rules. "I'll give you a few days to settle in and make the necessary repairs to the cabin. After that I expect you to assimilate into reservation life without incident. Your boy is to attend the Cheyenne school and you are to learn a trade. There's farming, cutting hay, chopping wood, and a few jobs hauling freight."

"I will make myself useful to the tribe," Running Wolf replied. He turned away from the Agent indicating that they wished to be left alone to move into their home. It was hard for him to consider this broken down cabin a home. He had always preferred to lay under the canopy of trees and the star filled sky.

Agent Miles nodded his understanding and departed. After the Agent was out of sight, Running Wolf and Night Crane started unloading the travois. Eyes Like the Sky stood with his eyes transfixed on the unstable structure.

Running Wolf noticed his unease. "Don't worry. Together we will turn this place into a fine lodge."

Eyes Like the Sky lifted a bedroll from the travois. "I'll help you fix it up Father."

"With all of us, it will be done in no time. I'll ask Sully to help. That way you can spend time with Katie and Josef. When we finish, your mother will decorate a fine robe for the door."

With her arms full of clothing, Night Crane noticed an old woman approaching them. Her eyes spoke of suffering and her face was lined and weathered, showing the hardships of struggle along with the strength of survival. Though her hair was white, her thin body frail, and she walked with a limp, Night Crane couldn't mistake her determined stride for anyone else. The woman who hobbled toward them was her aunt, Falling Dove. Night Crane lowered the items to the ground and hurried toward the old woman.

"You have returned," Falling Dove said in Cheyenne. Her tone was neutral, failing to reveal whether she was pleased by this fact.

Hearing the absence of warmth in her voice, Night Crane paused in her steps. The two women stared at each other for several long moments before the older woman spoke again.

"Have you returned alone?" Falling Dove asked, concern showing on her face.

"No," Night Crane answered. "Running Wolf is with me and Eyes Like the Sky. And we have another son, New Promise. We will live here, over there." The young woman pointed to the structure ten yards away.

"I thought you must be dead," the older woman revealed, her eyes cast downward.

"I'm sorry to have worried you," Night Crane replied. "We lived on our own for the past few years hiding from the Army."

"Why have you returned now?"

"We desire for our children to learn the ways of my grandfathers," Night Crane explained.

"It will not be long before no one remembers the ways of our people. They will only allow your children to be taught white ways."

"You and I will teach them. Aren't there others who teach the children the old ways?"

"There are…but they must be careful," her aunt said, glancing from side to side to see who might have heard.

"We are not afraid of danger," she replied. Though Night Crane was a strong and confident woman in her own right, she always felt small in the presence of her aunt, leading her to speak with false bravado.

"Only a fool has no fear of danger," her aunt hissed. "Your husband is not Cheyenne."

"No, but he wants our children to grow up in the ways of the Cheyenne."

"Do you think it is wise to have returned?" Falling Dove asked the question that hung in the air between them.

"We had no choice. Hiding out in the woods alone was no way to raise our children. They belong with the Cheyenne people. They need to know what it means to be part of a tribe…to be Cheyenne."

"Have you considered the danger?"

"The danger has passed."

"For the sake of your children, I hope that is true."

Night Crane stepped toward her aunt, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Come. I want you to meet my family."

* * *

"Do you know what it is?" Cloud Dancing asked, kneeling beside Michaela as she examined a young boy.

She faced Cloud Dancing. "I believe it's malaria. He's the tenth person we've treated since yesterday with a high fever, chills, and weakness." It was hard for her to bear the sight of so many sick children, the expression in their eyes sunken and listless. "Place your hand here," she instructed him. "His spleen is enlarged."

"What causes this malaria?" Cloud Dancing said, removing his hands from the boy's right side. He had never heard of this Illness before.

Michaela lowered the boy's shirt and administered several teaspoons of quinine. Next to her, Cloud Dancing chanted and fanned the boy's body with an eagle feather while swooping and diving in imitation of the eagle's flight. Michaela waited until he was finished before speaking. "Malaria occurs in areas near swamps. We don't yet know how it's transmitted, though scientists believe an insect, perhaps a mosquito, may spread it. I can't be certain that's what it is until I examine samples of saliva under a microscope. I should be able to see spores in the saliva to confirm the diagnosis. However, all the presenting symptoms suggest malaria."

"How can you be sure it is not the influenza?"

"It's true, the symptoms are similar," Michaela said, standing to move to the next patient. "But if it were influenza, I'd expect to see it spread more rapidly throughout the reservation. Though the two diseases share symptoms in common, they are transmitted differently."

"There are no swamps here," Cloud Dancing said, going over everything she had said in his mind.

"No, however, the drought has reduced the water level in some parts of the river to little more than swamps. Given how malnourished your people are, they're more susceptible to the disease."

"I do not know if the Army has a microscope here. What if you cannot confirm it?" Cloud Dancing asked.

"I'll treat the fever with quinine. It's very important to reduce the fever. Have you been using willow bark tea?"

"I cannot find enough willow bark here," Cloud Dancing admitted. "Many of our people also have the same sickness we saw in Black Moon's camp," he added, overwhelmed by the needs of his people.

"Consumption?" Michaela asked, though she already knew the answer. The reservation was overwhelmed with illness, fueled by malnourishment, unsanitary conditions, and close living quarters.

"Yes. Consumption."

They walked toward another patient, a young child. They walked slowly in deference to Cloud Dancing who was weighed down by physical and emotional burdens. It broke Michaela's heart to see him so weak and dejected. Michaela knew that Cloud Dancing had been going without food so that others could eat. "Cloud Dancing, I know your people are starving, but you won't be able to help them unless you regain your strength. You must eat."

"The food the government sends is not enough to feed all the people," Cloud Dancing explained. "I give my portion to the children."

Michaela understood his dilemma after witnessing firsthand the effects of malnutrition on the children. It stunted their growth, making children appear half their age, and it contributed to their listless state. "Can't the Indian Agent do something?"

Cloud Dancing didn't respond. He gave Michaela a long, considering stare, giving her time to reflect on her words.

Michaela lowered her eyes to the ground. "If Sully wasn't able to secure adequate rations for Palmer Creek, I can't expect another agent to either. I'm sorry."

"Agent Miles tries, as Sully did. Unlike Sully, his spirit does not go with the Cheyenne, but he does not want our people to starve. He knows that hunger hinders our assimilation into white society. He tells the government there are more of us than there are to increase the rations, but still, it is not enough. He has permitted some of our braves to leave the reservation to hunt, but there is no more buffalo. The elk and most of the other large game have moved on as well."

"I'm sorry Cloud Dancing. You shouldn't be forced to live like this. No one should."

"No." Cloud Dancing was silent for a few moments before repeating her words. "No one should."

Sensing that Cloud Dancing needed to rest, Michaela led them to a bench where they sat down. "Where's the doctor?" she asked.

"There is no doctor."

"No doctor?"

"There is an Army doctor who comes through perhaps once a month, usually less. We do what we can to take care of our own. Many die, mostly the children. Many women have lost babies, as Snow Bird did." Cloud Dancing said, his eyes dark with fatigue.

"While we are here, I will help you take care of your people," Michaela said, taking Cloud Dancing's hand in hers. "I didn't bring enough quinine with me to treat all those who are ill, but I'll wire for more."

"I am grateful for your help. I have tried to apply what I learned from you about white man's diseases, but I do not have the medicine."

"I'll order as much as I can so you have some after we leave."

"Thank you." He was profoundly grateful for his friend's help, but also angry, angry that the government did not provide them with a simple medicine that Michaela could so easily obtain.

"I'm afraid I don't have enough of the medicine that your people need most," she added regretfully.

"What's that?"

"Food."

_To Be Contined..._


	18. Chapter 18

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Eighteen**

On her second day at Darlington, Michaela worked with Cloud Dancing to treat almost twenty patients, most presenting symptoms of fever, chills, and weakness. By the time the sun hung low against feathery clouds, casting the sky in a golden haze, Michaela was physically and emotionally drained. She walked to the opposite end of the reservation to retrieve her horse so she could ride to the campsite where Sully and the children were waiting with supper. As she thought about the way the Cheyenne and Arapaho were being forced to live, bile rose up in her gut. It was a rush of physical rage at the injustice of the situation. Taking several deep breaths, she willed herself to calm down. The last thing she wanted to do was frighten the children or rile Sully into taking a reckless action. On her way across the reservation she noticed the Indian Agent.

"Agent Miles," Michaela called, eager to catch up to him. She had a fierce need to vent her frustration at someone who might be able to do something.

Pretending he didn't hear his name being called, Agent Miles picked up his pace. At the end of another long and difficult day, the last thing he wanted to do was engage in conversation with a do-gooder who had no idea what life was like out here.

Michaela accelerated her pace. "Agent Miles," she repeated from just a few feet away from him.

With the woman so close, Agent Miles had no choice except to stop. "How may I help you Ma'am?"

Michaela extended her hand. "I'm Dr. Quinn. I wanted to speak with you about the conditions on this reservation. They're deplorable."

Agent Miles looked at her outstretched hand, but didn't take it. "We do our best Ma'am," he replied before he began to walk away.

Frustrated at being dismissed, Michaela remained by his side, matching him stride for stride. "Agent Miles, I spent the better part of yesterday and today treating many sick people on this reservation. Unless the government intends to wipe out everyone here, conditions must improve."

The Indian Agent stopped walking, shielded his eyes from the setting sun, and studied her curiously. "I never met a woman physician before."

"I have a practice in Colorado Springs," Michaela responded, her posture upright and rigid.

"With all due respect Mrs. Quinn, I'd prefer you leave the doctoring to the Army physician."

"It's Doctor Quinn," Michaela repeated, emphasizing the word doctor. "Where is the Army physician?"

"He'll be by in a month or so." Agent Miles turned again, signaling that their conversation was over.

Michaela kept pace with him. "A month! By then it will be too late for many of the Indians."

"The Indian healers do what they can."

"With all due respect to _you_ Agent Miles," Michaela began. Her tone was indignant and slightly condescending. "Many of the Indians on this reservation are sick. They need care now, not a month from now. Most of them are suffering from diseases introduced by us. Since they have no natural resistance, it's even more important that they be treated by doctors who've seen these ailments before. Most of the Indians I cared for today are severely malnourished. Their bodies don't stand a chance of fighting off the illness with a weakened constitution. My friend, Cloud Dancing, a Cheyenne Medicine Man, asked for my help and I intend to do what I can, with or without your permission."

Agent Miles knew the truth of her words, but it was hard to hear it from a stranger, no less a woman. He also knew that he worked tirelessly to help the Indians adapt to civilization so they could become self-sufficient. In return for his efforts, he received little help from Washington or even many of the Indians themselves. "Dr. Quinn, I have tried every way I know to convince the government to provide adequate food and medical care to the Indians under my care. I inflate the numbers of people living on this reservation in the hope of receiving more rations. Yet each year Congress cuts funding for the reservations. There's nothing more I can do. I have broken rules by permitting them to hunt off reservation land to feed their families. Washington insists they become farmers. When the crops fail year after year, they still won't believe that even a white farmer, with generations of experience, couldn't make anything grow out here. I have to accept what is in my power to change and what is not."

"I understand that Agent Miles," Michaela replied in a more sympathetic tone. "I didn't mean to imply that you aren't doing your job. It's just hard for me to see people suffering for want of food and simple medicine."

The agent brought his hand around the back of his neck in frustration. "It's worse this year. All the crops failed and the beef rations were cut again. Not every year is this dire. I'm doing my best to prepare the Indians for a future. Congress intends for them to become self-sufficient. They can't remain dependent on the government forever."

"They want that, too, Agent Miles," Michaela implored. "They took care of themselves and their families long before we came along and uprooted their lives by placing them on reservations. I know you recognize how difficult it is for them to become self-sufficient when they are forced to live where there is no practical means of feeding their families. It's not their fault they are dependent on the government for their basic survival. I fear they have been set up to fail."

Agent Miles paused in his steps, hands on his hips, and shifted his position to face Michaela. "Dr. Quinn, I have tried to convince the Army that in order for the Indians to become independent and assimilate into our society, they must learn the language and a trade. It is also obvious to me that their future is not as farmers. Without government sanction, I have rented part of the land to cattle ranchers for grazing, as a means of supplementing the meager government provisions. My firm belief is that the Indians' future is as cattle herders and stock raisers, but I can't convince anyone in Washington of the merit in this idea. I realize that children cannot learn if they are hungry. Sick and weak men cannot work. While some in Washington are sympathetic to these arguments, there isn't enough money. It's far from ideal, but we do the best we can."

Michaela realized how much the agent _had_ tried to help the Indians and softened her tone. "I'm aware of how much is out of your control. My husband was an Indian Agent. I apologize if I implied that you weren't doing your best."

"No offense taken." They resumed walking again, stopping when they reached Michaela's horse. "What reservation was your husband on?"

Michaela leaned against her horse and hesitated for a long moment before responding. "Palmer Creek."

A look of disapproval flashed across the agent's face. Michaela knew by his expression that he had heard the stories about Sully. There was no point in attempting an explanation of the circumstances.

"What are the Indians suffering from?" Agent Miles asked, changing the subject.

"Some have consumption. Others, I believe, have malaria."

"Can you help them?"

"Yes, but I'll need to obtain more medicine. It would also help if we isolated the sick and made improvements to the sanitary conditions."

"I'll assist in any way I can, Dr. Quinn." Agent Miles extended his hand and the two shook to a new understanding. "I'm grateful for your help."

* * *

"Brian," Sully said the next morning, nudging his shoulder in a friendly greeting. "I'm goin' ta the reservation ta spend time with Cloud Dancin'. Why don't ya join us later?"

When Brian was a little boy, Sully introduced him to the Cheyenne, and together, they shared their stories, their celebrations, and their sorrows. He'd like to think those early encounters played a part in building Brian's lifelong respect for the Indians and for those who appeared different from him. It hardly seemed so long ago that Matthew and Colleen called him Cheyenne crazy. Recalling those words now brought a smile to Sully's face. Now that Brian was a man, he was looking forward to sharing his Cheyenne family with him on a much deeper level.

"Maybe," he replied, looking up from securing the straps on his horse. The early morning air was cool and the light breeze felt good against his skin. Brian wanted to arrive at the reservation early, before the temperature rose to its usual unbearable highs, sapping his energy. "I'm gonna see the school, then the farm. I could meet you and Cloud Dancing later."

"You writin' an article?" Sully asked. His face held no expression and his tone was even. Underneath the neutral question was a hint of disappointment.

"I'm thinking about it. I wanna see how the government is preparing the Indians for a future. I'll talk to the Indian Agent and some of the members of both tribes. I hear there's stiff competition to get their children into the Carlisle School. I'm gonna talk to a man around my age about what it was like there," Brian explained as he finished readying his horse for the ride to the reservation.

Sully set his jaw and his stomach muscles constricted. He had been certain that once they arrived here, Brian would see the reservation for what it was and abandon the notion of working within a corrupt and inhumane system. From Sully's perspective, Darlington was little more than a prison. It was impossible to accept that his son could view it any other way or that he might believe the government's lies after all he'd seen. Not wanting to instigate another argument, he pressed his rising temper back down and forced himself to remain calm. Sully knew Brian respected the Cheyenne and wouldn't do anything to bring them harm. He had always hoped Brian would use his words to tell the world the truth about the injustice being inflicted upon his friends. There were more than enough writers conveying the government's side. "I could introduce you to some who refuse ta send their kids ta school and those who were lost at Carlisle. You should hear their side, too."

These days they both reacted with heightened sensitivity to the other's words. Each statement, even a benign question, seemed cloaked in judgment and disapproval. "I'm gonna hear all sides, Pa. I always do," he added for emphasis turning away at the earlier disappointment in Sully's tone, afraid of revealing the hurt in his expression. When had his father lost faith in him and stopped trusting his decisions, he wondered.

Sully didn't know when their once easy and natural relationship had become so strained. It seemed to start slowly, with small disputes, accelerating forward to larger ones by a force he didn't know how to reverse. _Was it a consequence of accumulated disappointments that started with his actions at the dam, festering with the uprising at Palmer Creek, and peaking with his leaving them almost two years ago now?_ Sully thought they had recovered from each of those incidents, but now he considered the possibility that each one had chipped away at their once strong father and son bond.

_Or were Michaela and Running Wolf right? Was Brian struggling to become his own man and finding a way to step out of his shadow._ In his heart, he felt it was a combination of both. Bad decisions on his part had taken a toll on their relationship. Regardless of the cause, Sully could no longer deny that the boy who once regarded him as a hero now seemed to disapprove of him as a man. "I know you're a good reporter, Brian." Sully paused to see if he accepted the peace offering. Noticing Brian's posture relax, he decided to try a different tactic. "What do ya see when you look at the Cheyenne livin' here compared ta when you first met 'em?"

Brian's face clouded with sadness. "It isn't right how they're living here. They're starving and sick. They feel trapped. They don't see a way off this reservation or have any hope for the future."

Sully sighed, relieved that his son saw the same things he did. "From what I've seen so far Brian, the only story worth tellin' is how the government is tryin' ta wipe out the Indians by starvin' 'em ta death an' denyin' 'em medical care. Can't ya see they don't want 'em ta have a future."

"Then why send them to school? Why teach them a trade," Brian retorted, refusing to believe it was hopeless.

"For show. Their settin' 'em up ta fail so when they die off the government can say they tried ta help 'em, but they were too stupid or too lazy," Sully replied, through tight and angry lips.

"I don't believe that!" Brian answered back, his hands balled into fists at his side. "The Indian Agent is tryin'," he said, emphasizing the last word as if to make a point with Sully. "He's got creative ideas about how they can be self sufficient. And the government's right to focus on the children. They will blend the old and new worlds to build a new future for the Cheyenne."

"You're naïve, Brian," Sully said, working hard to suppress his anger. "Look around you! Don't you see what's happenin' here?"

Brian backed away from him. "I'm not naïve!" He took a deep breath to settle his emotions. "I know some politicians view the Indians as a problem that only their extermination will solve. But, others want to help them assimilate into our culture. They want to help them become citizens of our country. Future generations of Cheyenne will be doctors and lawyers. Someday they'll even be politicians making the laws. That's why I want to see the school. It's their hope for the future."

"It's the death of who they are," Sully said.

"What's your solution for the future, Sully? It's so easy for you to criticize what everyone else is doing. If you know so much, what would you do?" Brian challenged, his effort to maintain his composure beginning to unravel. He was angry with himself for allowing this argument to escalate so badly and he was angry with his father for being unwilling to listen to another point of view.

Sully simmered with a quiet rage, but he spoke in a low, deceptively calm voice. "If you want to see hope for the future, visit the elders secretly passing down the stories of their grandfathers to their own grandchildren. Witness the medicine arrow renewal ceremony. Attend a meetin' of the tribal council. See why the Cheyenne are willin' ta risk everythin' to pass down these traditions."

"That's the past Sully. The Cheyenne need hope for the future. They need a way off this reservation. They're not gonna get it by living in the past."

"They'll be lost if they forget their past. They won't be Cheyenne."

"I don't know why I bother talking with you about any of this. You can't accept change. You want everything to stay the same. It can't stay the same. Instead of fighting it all the time, you could figure out how you're gonna live with it. If you put all the energy you spend fighting everything into figuring out how to make things better…," Brian stopped, realizing it was futile, his arm cutting the air in frustration at the uselessness of this discussion. He and Sully were never going to agree about this and continuing to argue was further tearing them apart. Abruptly, he walked away, bumping into Sully as he stormed by in the direction of his horse.

"Brian, wait!" Sully hollered as he watched him ride off. He kicked the ground, frustrated that another conversation with his son had ended in anger.

* * *

"I shouldn't have come," Dorothy told Michaela as they sipped tea at their campsite. It was mid-morning and the two women finally had a quiet moment to talk. Sully was visiting with Cloud Dancing, Brian was at the reservation, and Katie and Josef had gone with Eyes Like the Sky and his father to explore the tall prairie grasses that bordered the reservation.

"Why do you say that?" Michaela asked.

"Cloud Dancing doesn't want me here," Dorothy said, putting words to the agony she had felt since first arriving at the reservation three days ago.

"I'm certain that's not true, Dorothy," Michaela responded, setting her tin cup aside to more fully face her friend.

"You saw how he acted around me. He barely noticed I was there," Dorothy said as she looked away, her eyes filling with tears.

Michaela had noticed the cold way Cloud Dancing greeted Dorothy. At the time she had excused it with a rationalization. "He has been preoccupied with the needs of his people, and perhaps it caught him by surprise to see you here. There's also the possibility he's embarrassed for you to see him under these circumstances. I'm certain he'll come around once you spend some time together."

Dorothy emptied the remains of her tea on the ground in frustration. "I don't believe he'll want to spend time with me," she insisted, wondering how she was going to endure another day in this place, let alone more than a week. Silently, she chastised herself for not trusting her instincts and for allowing Michaela to change her mind. "He hasn't given any sign that he even cares I'm here. It was a mistake to come."

Michaela searched for the right words to comfort her friend. "Years ago, when I was in Boston, Sully showed up unexpectedly. It was so unnerving to see him, in Boston of all places, that I acted as if I didn't want him there."

Intrigued, Dorothy turned to face Michaela. "When was that?"

"It was shortly before we began to court. My mother had taken ill and Rebecca asked me to return home."

"I remember that. You got a telegram and had to hurry back to Boston."

"Several weeks later, completely out of the blue, Sully arrived on our doorstep. He told me he was worried about me since I had been gone so long. My utter shock at seeing him in Boston caused me to virtually ignore him. To this day, I'm not proud of my actions. I treated him very badly."

"How's that?" Dorothy asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Though we weren't yet courting, Sully was my closest friend. Next to the children, he was the most important person in my life at the time. Yet, when he showed up in Boston, my actions suggested he was no more than a casual acquaintance. I didn't alter any of my plans to spend time with him. It was quite rude."

"Do you know why you acted like that?" Dorothy asked, hoping that by understanding Michaela's mindset at that time, she could gain some insight into Cloud Dancing's present behavior.

"My only excuse is that I was caught so completely off guard to see him in Boston that I didn't know how I was supposed to react. I knew how I was expected to behave among Bostonians and I knew how to act around Sully in Colorado, but I had absolutely no idea how to be around Sully in Boston. Before I had time to prepare, he was in the center of my world. It brought to the surface many unanswered questions about what we were to each other, the answers to which neither one of us had been ready to hear. I was so confused."

Michaela paused to sip her tea and reflect on that time so many years ago. "Actually, I wasn't confused at all." Michaela recalled with a laugh that could only come from the comfort of hindsight. "I had feelings for Sully that terrified me. It was easier to push him away by pretending he was merely an acquaintance than to face my true feelings. Fortunately for me, he and the children made it difficult for me to completely ignore him. Though I wasn't fully aware of it at the time, Sully began courting me in Boston. He took me to an elegant supper and the opera," she recalled with a whimsical smile.

"I remember when you came back from Boston. There was no denying the two of you were in love."

"Right before his train pulled away, Sully told me he loved me. I knew I loved him, too. I headed back to Colorado Springs the next day."

A brief silence fell between them. "Michaela, it's not the same between me and Cloud Dancing. We both know what we had is over. I came here as a friend. I want to know how he's getting on here. I don't have any illusions that we can go back to what we had." The well-rehearsed stoic words concealed a deeply hidden desire to see if being together again would rekindle what they had once shared. That desire, buried under layers of logical thinking to the contrary, was one she dared not give voice to, even to herself.

Michaela's hand reached across to rest over her friend's. "There may still be similarities. Cloud Dancing probably was shocked to see you here. It may have reminded him of feelings he buried a long time ago. As it was for me, it might be difficult for him to know how to act around you in his world…on the reservation. Give him time to get used to your being here. He'll come around eventually."

"Perhaps. In the meantime, it hurts."

Michaela patted her hand. "I know it does. The one thing I am certain of is that Cloud Dancing isn't ignoring you because he doesn't care. More likely, it's because he cares so much."

_To Be Continued..._


	19. Chapter 19

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Nineteen**

Cloud Dancing spent the morning introducing Sully to the elders of the tribe and reuniting him with the few still alive who remembered him from the time he spent in Black Kettle's village. They talked of the changes that had occurred in all of their lives since Washita. Sully told them about his family and his work to protect the land, work that was influenced by his time with the Cheyenne. He thanked them for their many gifts and for guiding him toward the correct path for his life. From the elders in Black Kettle's band, Sully learned more details about the aftermath of Washita, their time at Camp Supply, and then later being placed on the reservation. They spoke of the many battles with the Army, the steady loss of freedom and the loss of life from starvation and illness. Together they shared their greatest fear, the annihilation of the entire Cheyenne culture, and talked of ways of preventing that dire outcome.

Several hours later, Sully and Cloud Dancing set off to spend the afternoon together. These days it was rare for Cloud Dancing to take time for himself and he was looking forward to spending it with Sully. It had been a long time since they spent a leisurely day together. To Cloud Dancing it seemed like a lifetime ago. When Sully last visited him in the north, he was in a dark place. This time, it was Cloud Dancing who was so overwhelmed that he hadn't stopped to spend more than a few hours with his friend. Cloud Dancing wondered if, for just this day, he could go back to a different time and forget his present circumstances. For just this day, he wanted to pretend he and Sully were back in the Colorado woods before all the heartache.

At Michaela's insistence, Sully had brought a large feast for lunch. It included a roasted chicken that was supposed to have been their supper, beans, carrots, and apples. It was a cloudless sunny day and the reservation didn't offer much shade from the scorching July heat. The two men sat by the riverbank at the far end of the reservation eating in companionable silence.

"You are more at peace than the last time I saw you," Cloud Dancing stated.

"I'm real good," Sully said. "Michaela…the kids…we've never been closer." Sully left out the recent tension with Brian. Even if he wanted to discuss it, he wasn't sure how to begin.

"I am glad," Cloud Dancing said. "I am grateful for Michaela's help."

"I wish there was more we were doin' ta help ya," Sully said, before taking another bite of chicken.

Cloud Dancing's face took on a sober expression. "We need to depend on ourselves now."

"Ya gotta look out for yourself and your people 'cause the government sure ain't gonna do it. But, let us help ya while we're here. Please, Cloud Dancin'," Sully implored.

Cloud Dancing gave Sully a faint smile. "I can always use the help of my friends."

Since they had arrived at the reservation, Sully sensed a change in his friend that worried him. "Cloud Dancin', are you really all right here?" Sully hesitated a moment, then added… "The truth."

"I no longer give thought to how I am. This is my life now. I do what I can to survive," Cloud Dancing replied, pausing to take another bite of food. He hadn't eaten a meal like this since a group of Dog Soldiers had brought back elk for the tribe. And he couldn't remember the last time he had a piece of fruit. It was wrong for one person to have so much when his people had so little. Part of him wanted to eat half and bring the rest back to the children, but he knew Michaela was right when she told him he needed to regain his strength or he wouldn't be of any use to his people. He pushed aside the guilt and tried to look upon the feast Sully had provided as fuel for him to carry out his duty.

"If all ya wanted ta do was survive, you could've stayed in Colorado Springs or in the Tongue River Valley," Sully challenged.

"Here, survival is not a simple matter."

"I'm not sayin' it is," Sully said, fixing his piercing blue eyes on the man he considered his brother.

Cloud Dancing felt the intensity of Sully's stare. "You are correct. It is not only about my survival. I must do more than survive if the Cheyenne are to go on after I am gone. In the time I have left, I must fight against the forces that threaten to strip us of our identity. I must make being Cheyenne mean something to those who come after me."

Is Agent Miles one of them forces?"

"The Indian Agent is a good man. He genuinely cares about our welfare."

"Then why are so many of you starvin' an' sick?"

"That is beyond his control," Cloud Dancing explained. "Like you did, he tries to get the government to give us what we were promised. He breaks the rules by letting us hunt off the reservation. When there is no doctor, he permits the healers to tend to the sick in traditional ways. Agent Miles does what he can, but as you know, much is beyond his control." He paused as he noticed Sully staring at the ground, presumably reflecting on his own failed attempts to help the Cheyenne. "Unlike you, Agent Miles does not understand us. He does not want the same future for us that I do."

"He wants ya ta become white."

Cloud Dancing swallowed hard. "He does not understand what it means to be Cheyenne. As you know, we are not allowed to practice our religion, perform our ceremonies or speak our language. Our children are taught that they have no future as an Indian. We have lost so many young people to schools in the east. When they return, they renounce the old ways. I fear in a generation, the Cheyenne will no longer exist."

The truth of what was becoming of his Cheyenne family at Darlington was hard for Sully to hear. Sorrow welled up inside him at what the loss of the Cheyenne would mean. "You're still holdin' your ceremonies and practicin' your religion, aren't ya? Couldn't ya hold lessons for the children in secret?"

"We do hold secret lessons with the children. We teach them what it means to be part of a tribe. We teach them about the medicine arrows, the sun dance, and about protecting mother earth. We want them to be proud of being Cheyenne. I do this with the hope I can reach a few who will continue the old ways once I'm gone. I understand the desire for a better life off the reservation. I fear that once they renounce their Indian ways for the white ways they will find the white world is not open to them. Then where will they be? They will be lost. I have seen young men return from the Carlisle school in the east with a new religion and white ways and no future. They cannot have a future if they reject their past…their heritage."

"How do ya keep Miles from findin' out that you're still holdin' your councils an' your ceremonies?" Sully asked.

"He is aware some of it still goes on and has not interfered, but he thinks it is only among the chiefs and old ones. He is not aware of the extent to which it is directed to the children. That he would try to stop. What he does not understand is that as hard as he is working to make them white, I will work even harder to keep them Cheyenne."

"Runnin' Wolf brought his family back here so their children could learn the Cheyenne ways," Sully remarked soberly.

"I will help them," Cloud Dancing said. "Do you know his wife is the niece of Black Kettle?"

Sully nodded. "She told Michaela and Dorothy 'bout survivin' Washita."

"Her life has been difficult. It will not be easier for them here." Cloud Dancing rose to his feet beckoning Sully to follow. The men walked through the tall prairie grass. It was dry and brittle from the lack of rain. After a long while, Cloud Dancing finally spoke. "You should not have brought Dorothy."

"Why not?" Sully asked. "I thought you'd be glad ta see her."

"I am glad to see her."

"It didn't look like it when we got here."

"I am not the same man I was back then."

"Cloud Dancin', you're the same on the inside. That's all Dorothy ever saw."

"I do not feel the same." Cloud Dancing stopped for a moment, unsure how to explain his feelings to his friend. "I…I have lost…hope."

"You been in dark places before – after Walks on Clouds…Snow Bird…Washita. You always got through."

"This is different. The death of my son and wife brought deep pain, as you know, but in time I was able to make peace with it. Washita was the cold-blooded murder of my people. I never thought I would recover. I believe it was that grief that led me to turn away from my responsibilities and remain so long in Colorado Springs. Washita brought swift death. Darlington is a slow death. It is killing the souls of my people."

"Ya haven't lost all hope if you're workin' ta teach the children."

"I used to believe we could prevent what has happened to the Cheyenne. If we worked hard enough and fought long enough, we could live peacefully with the whites. But, no matter how hard we tried, we could not change our destiny. Over time my goals narrowed so that I was content to affect scattered individuals. I thought if I reached just one person the Cheyenne would survive. Now, the situation is more urgent. There is more I must do."

"Let me help ya, Cloud Dancin'. You helped me through dark times more than once."

Cloud Dancing placed his hand on Sully's shoulder. "Sully, being able to talk with you like this is already helping me. I draw strength from you."

Sully was moved by his words. "Is that why ya don't wanna see Dorothy? You don't want her ta see ya like this."

Cloud Dancing looked away and began walking. "There is another reason."

"What?"

Cloud Dancing hesitated, not certain about how Sully would react to his news. "I told you I feel an urgency to act in ways that will help my people," he stalled.

"Yeah." Sully wasn't sure where the conversation was headed.

"I have decided that…to do the most good…" he hesitated. "I am to be married."

"Married?" Sully was stunned.

"Yes. Married."

Sully was still letting his words sink in. "That's good news, ain't it?" He was uncertain given the expression on Cloud Dancing's face.

Cloud Dancing found his friend's bewilderment amusing. "It is good." He smiled. "I have been alone for many years."

Sully absorbed this news with mixed emotions. He was happy Cloud Dancing had found someone to share the difficulties of reservation life with him. Yet, he couldn't help feel sadness for Dorothy. Though she put up a brave front for all of them, Sully saw the way she looked at him when she didn't think anyone was aware. She gazed like a woman who couldn't let go, who clung to a faint hope that someday she and Cloud Dancing might have a future. When he noticed Cloud Dancing staring at him, waiting for a reaction, Sully gave him a congratulatory pat on the back. "I'm real glad for ya Cloud Dancin'. We were both real lucky ta find love again. I can understand why it'd be hard ta see Dorothy. She'll come around. She wants ya ta be happy. We all do."

Cloud Dancing's face grew serious. "You do not understand."

"What? You're in love and you're gettin' married."

Cloud Dancing cast his eyes toward the ground. "It is not what you think. I have chosen to take a wife for the future of the tribe. Too many of our children are dying. I want to bring children into the world so we might have a future."

"I understand. Who is she?"

"She is called Two Voices. I do not know her very well. Her husband passed recently of this sickness that has taken hold of the reservation. Michaela tells me it is called malaria. Two Voices is with child. I will teach this child as well as those I hope to have with her. I do not expect to ever have the bond I shared with Snow Bird. Do you truly understand?"

"I know the responsibility you have ta your people," Sully reassured him. He left out that though he respected the depth of his responsibility he couldn't help wishing his brother the same happiness he had found with Michaela. Perhaps with someone he truly loved by his side to share the hardships, his life would feel less hopeless.

Cloud Dancing noticed the subtle expression of regret in his friend's eyes. "Sully, your spirit goes with the Cheyenne. But, you are not Cheyenne. In your head you comprehend the responsibility that comes with placing the tribe before the man, but you do not feel it in here." He pointed to his chest.

Sully bristled at his words. "The Cheyenne are a part o' me."

"You are as close to Cheyenne as any white man I have known."

Sully shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Then what are ya sayin'?"

"You are your own man, accountable to your conscience."

"I always figured I had ta live with myself first."

"That is a difference between us. Your inner spirit drives your actions. You have sacrificed and put your life in danger to do what you believe is right, but it was always your decision based on your conscience. I am driven by the voices of generations of Cheyenne before me. I do not have the luxury to decide what is right for me. Every action I take from now on must be determined by whether it will help the Cheyenne go on."

"That's a large burden for one man," Sully said.

"It is a responsibility I must carry if I am to remain a leader and be the man I want to be before I cross over to the spirit world."

Sully didn't know how to respond. Cloud Dancing was as close to him as a brother. In all their years together, with all they had been through, Sully had never thought about this difference between them. Yet, it was there. Perhaps for Sully it came from being on his own since the age of ten, accountable only to himself and his conscience. He would give up his life for a cause he believed in or someone he loved, and almost had on numerous occasions. So would Cloud Dancing. For Sully, though, those were his choices alone, not actions entered into to meet the expectations of others.

"Come, let us walk back," Cloud Dancing said, breaking into Sully's thoughts. "For now, I would prefer if this news were kept between us."

* * *

It was a quiet night. The sky was clear and brightly lit from the moon and millions of tiny stars. Michaela and Sully were the only two still awake. Late at night, after the children were asleep, was often the only time of day they could be completely alone. They relished this time together. The stillness of the night offered the illusion that they were the only two people in the world. Michaela leaned back between Sully's outstretched legs, lulled into a relaxed state by the rhythmic motions of his hands massaging her shoulders and back.

"This hasn't been much of a break with you havin' ta work the past few days," Sully noted, interrupting the tranquil silence.

"I know it's not what we planned, but the Indians need my help," Michaela said. The tension in her body eased under the tender touch of her husband.

"They're lucky ta have ya," Sully said, bringing his hands across her chest to undo the first few buttons of her blouse. Slowly, he slid her blouse down below her shoulders so he could massage her bare skin. "I just wish…" he hesitated.

"What?"

"I wish life wasn't so hard for 'em."

Michaela reached up to squeeze his hand. "So do I. Their needs are so great, Sully. In the past few days Cloud Dancing and I have treated over thirty people, mostly children. Over half of them have symptoms of malaria."

"Should we worry 'bout the kids?" Sully asked with concern.

"No. They're strong and healthy. The Indian children are more susceptible to illness because they are malnourished. As a precaution, we should keep the children away from the shallow parts of the river."

"All right, but they won't like it. Katie can swim in deep water, but Joe's just learnin'. It's too hot for 'im not ta have a place to cool off." Sully continued to knead her muscles to relieve the tightness in her shoulders.

"Mmmm…that feels good." Michaela closed her eyes to relish her husband's touch.

"You're real tense, Michaela." Sully leaned down to kiss her bare shoulder. "Is somethin' else botherin' ya?"

"I can't stand seeing our friends living like this, Sully."

"Me either," he whispered, resting his chin on her shoulder and leaning his head against hers.

Michaela raised her hand up to stroke his face. "I'm not sure what to do to help them."

Sully kissed the palm of her hand. "You're helpin' 'em with your medicine. Now I gotta find some way to help 'em."

"You are helping. You're rebuilding Running Wolf's house and you're spending time with Cloud Dancing. I can already see the impact your being here is having on him."

"I gotta do more, Michaela. Cloud Dancin' won't admit it, but he needs my help."

"What more can we do?"

"I'll think o' somethin'." Michaela leaned back against her husband's chest and instinctively he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. They sat in silence contemplating the circumstances in which they found their friends. After a few moments, Sully noticed Michaela gazing off absently into the night. He pressed his forehead to the back of her head. "What else ya thinkin' 'bout?"

Michaela didn't immediately respond. Then she mentioned her other worry in one word. "Dorothy."

Sully tensed slightly. "What about 'er?"

"Did you notice the way Cloud Dancing acted when we first arrived?"

"He seemed s'prised ta see 'er," Sully said, offering an explanation that might appease her.

"Dorothy believes it was a mistake for her to have come."

"Why's that?" Sully responded in a soft voice, hoping to hide his growing discomfort.

Michaela folded her hands in her lap. "She doesn't think he wants her here."

"Maybe it woulda been best if Dorothy remembered Cloud Dancin' like he was, back in Colorado."

Michaela twisted in his arms to face him. "Is that what you'd want, Sully? For Cloud Dancing to be a memory?"

"Course not. Next ta you, he's my closest friend."

"Then why should it be different for Dorothy? Why shouldn't she want to keep him in her life in some way?" Michaela challenged.

Sully exhaled from the weight of the secret he carried. "I'm not sayin' she shouldn't. But, maybe it's too hard for him…to hard for both of 'em. Maybe too much has changed."

"Did he say anything to you?"

Sully averted his eyes from her. "Nothin' much." He had been dreading that question because he knew he could not tell Michaela about Cloud Dancing's upcoming marriage. As much as he regretted having to skirt along the edges of the truth, he had given Cloud Dancing his word. After all, it wasn't his news to share.

Michaela nestled back into his arms. "Just because he didn't seem glad to see Dorothy doesn't mean he's not."

"How's that?" Sully asked. This wasn't the first time he was puzzled by how her mind worked.

"I didn't act glad to see you when you first showed up in Boston, but I was," Michaela told him.

"Could've fooled me," Sully quipped.

Michaela turned slightly to look into his eyes. "I know I was horrid." She tenderly cupped his face. "It's just that in the time I spent in Boston caring for my mother, I had become comfortable there again. I started to believe that perhaps I could build a life as a doctor in a place that was familiar and safe for me."

"With William," he cut in, eyebrows raised.

"Sully, you know I never had the same feelings for William. It's just…." She began to defend that time before he stopped her.

"I know," he reassured, kissing her lightly on her forehead.

"What I was saying was…I felt at ease, my relationship with mother had improved. Then, without warning, you showed up, stirred all these feelings inside me, and reminded me of the life I was building in Colorado Springs."

Sully pulled her closer. "Any regrets?"

"You know better than that," Michaela answered, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

Sully held her tight, deepening the kiss as he stroked the back of her head. Then he moved his lips from her mouth to whisper in her ear. "Ya gave up a lot ta build a life with me."

Michaela pulled back to look into his eyes, smoothing his hair. "I didn't give up anything. You've given me more happiness than I ever could have imagined." With that affirmation, they sat wrapped in each other's arms for several long moments. It didn't take long for their thoughts to return to their friends who were not as fortunate. "Perhaps Cloud Dancing doesn't want Dorothy to see him living such a hard life on this reservation," Michaela surmised.

"Maybe," Sully replied. "Dorothy reminds him of what he gave up. I suppose we do, too. He's here because his honor and duty demand that he be, but he's not happy, Michaela."

"And I know the pain that causes you."

"I have to respect his decision," Sully said in a sorrowful tone.

_To Be Continued..._


	20. Chapter 20

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those charactrers and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, and The Sullivan Company. _

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty **

"The lodge looks good," Cloud Dancing said in a loud, cheerful voice as he approached the front of Running Wolf and Night Crane's home. He paused for a moment to admire the work Sully and Running Wolf had done to repair the structure.

At the sound of Cloud Dancing's voice, Sully came around from the back to greet him. Running Wolf exited the front of the lodge to meet the visitor. When they were face to face for the first time, Sully introduced the two men knowing, they would become fast friends.

"It is an honor to finally meet you," Running Wolf told Cloud Dancing as the two men clasped arms in a Cheyenne greeting. "Sully and Night Crane have spoken often of you and all that you taught them."

"Sully speaks highly of you, too," Cloud Dancing replied, returning the compliment. "As Night Crane's husband, you are welcome here. What tribe are you from?"

"Crow," Running Wolf supplied warily.

"Crow," Cloud Dancing repeated, considering the information for a moment. "Here, ancient tribal feuds have no place. I am told in the north the Crow and the Cheyenne work together."

Running Wolf nodded. "We stand a greater chance of surviving as one nation than as many at war with each other."

"Cloud Dancin' tried bringin' the different tribes together at Palmer Creek. At first they fought an' didn't trust each other, but after a time, they saw they had more in common than they had different," Sully added.

Cloud Dancing glanced around the area surrounding the cabin. "Where is Golden Feather? I mean Night Crane?" he corrected. "I am eager to see her after so many years."

"She's out walkin' with Michaela and Dorothy," Sully said. "They got tired o' all the bangin'. They should be back any time now."

"That was just an excuse to go off and talk," Running Wolf said with a chuckle.

The sound of distant laughter filtered up the hill to the cabin. Cloud Dancing looked down in search of the sound and noticed three women heading up the small hill to the wooden structure. A melancholy feeling swept over him as he watched Dorothy, Michaela, and Night Crane walking toward him, the tall prairie grass coming up to their calves. So much had changed for him and the Cheyenne since each of these women were a part of his life. Seeing Dorothy again brought back many warm memories, though their vivid colors had faded with the passage of time. In Michaela, he saw hope. Each time she used the medicine he taught her, she was keeping the Cheyenne alive. He was grateful for her presence in his life, but especially for her place in Sully's. He sometimes wondered where his brother would be now if she hadn't come into his life. Would he have been killed in the massacres between the Army and the Cheyenne or falling deeper into despair at the loss of yet another family? His eyes wandered toward to the woman he once knew as Golden Feather. He remembered a young, spirited child. Though she had grown into a beautiful woman, her eyes told of a life filled with much pain and sorrow.

"Cloud Dancing," Night Crane called, hurrying her pace to greet him. As she ran, New Promise bounced with delight in the carrier strapped to her back.

Cloud Dancing held out his arms to envelop her and the baby in a warm embrace. "Golden Feather, it fills my heart to see you alive and well." Clasping her hands in his, Cloud Dancing stepped back to fully look at her, relishing in the moment. "And who is this little one?"

Night Crane continued to hold his hands, finding pleasure in this renewed connection to such an important person from her past. "I am called Night Crane now. After Washita I did not know who Golden Feather was or where she belonged. This is my son, New Promise."

"That is a fine name. It is good you have returned," Cloud Dancing said sincerely.

"We returned for him," she said, reaching back to stroke the baby's head. "We have been on our own for a long time. Now it is time to join my people in what will come next. Our children must know what it means to be Cheyenne. They have no grandparents to guide them. My aunt, Falling Dove, will help us, but I would be honored if you would teach them."

"That is why I am here," Cloud Dancing said. "I, too, was alone for many years. Now I am where I must be," Cloud Dancing acknowledged, stealing a glimpse of Dorothy.

Dorothy shifted her body uncomfortably. She had noticed Cloud Dancing glance her way several times, even once letting his eyes linger in her direction. The last time she was certain he was going to speak with her. When he didn't, she found it difficult to continue standing with the group. The conversation had long since become background noise to the rattling of her nerves. Discretely, she moved away from them, pretending to admire the latest improvements to the cabin.

"Where are the children?" Michaela asked Sully as her eyes scanned the area.

"Playin' down there by the tree," Sully replied, pointing toward a large redbud, its showy light purple flowers in bloom. "They should be back soon."

"I brought you a gift for your new lodge," Cloud Dancing said. His fingers nimbly worked to untie the knot securing the bundle. Slowly, he revealed a large elk skin and presented it to the couple.

"Thank you," Running Wolf said, accepting the present.

"It would have been buffalo if there were any left." Cloud Dancing said with regret.

"We are grateful for your generosity. It will make a fine robe for the door. I will start decorating it tomorrow," Night Crane said.

"She is very talented," Michaela added.

Cloud Dancing gave Night Crane a smile of admiration before addressing Michaela. "She should be. Her grandmother was one of the best quill workers in Black Kettle's village."

"I have something for you, too," Running Wolf said. "I had planned to wait until the right time to return it, but I can think of no better time." He abruptly turned to enter the cabin. The others remained outside unaware of Running Wolf's intent. He emerged several minutes later holding a large object in his arms. Only Night Crane and Sully knew what it was. "I found this sacred article at one of the battle sites of your people. I have carried it with me intending to return it to the Cheyenne someday. I did not know who to return it to, but you can make certain that it is properly honored." Running Wolf removed the protective cover revealing a rare shield.

Cloud Dancing drew in his breath in a gasp at the sight of the shield. He assumed it had been destroyed along with many of the other irreplaceable ancient artifacts. He slowly moved toward it to run his fingers lightly over the intricate details. "Where did you find this?"

"It was up north. I found it hidden behind a rock. It seems someone knew the Army was coming and tried to protect it before the battle."

"What were you doing there?"

"I was hunting. At the time, I was living near the Crow Reservation."

Cloud Dancing continued to gaze at the shield in awe. "We have lost most of our sacred artifacts in these battles with the Army. This shield is very important to our people. It belongs to the Southern Cheyenne. The last time I saw it was with Black Kettle's camp. I wonder how it came to be in the north."

Running Wolf averted his eyes from the shield. "I do not know. When I found it, I only knew it was important. That is why I wanted to return it."

"There are no words to convey my gratitude," Cloud Dancing said, overwhelmed with emotion as he touched the shield again. "Please keep it with you. I want you to meet the elders and join us for Massaum. On the second day of the ceremony, you will present the shield to the tribe. You have earned that honor. And bring your oldest son."

"I am truly humbled," Running Wolf replied. "Thank you Cloud Dancing."

"Sully, I would like you to come, too, and bring the children."

* * *

"Over here, Josef," Eyes Like the Sky called, his hands outstretched above his head. 

Josef threw the ball to the older boy as he used his body to block Katie from reaching it. Eyes Like the Sky caught it and ducked behind a tree to prevent Katie from catching him. The children had been playing keep away several hundred yards from the lodge. Josef had been the first one they tried to keep the ball away from and now it was Katie.

"I got it!" Josef called for the Indian boy to toss him the ball again. When he caught the ball, he threw it back to Eyes Like the Sky. The older boy caught it with ease. Katie ran from one boy to the next, but as hard as she tried she couldn't intercept the ball. On his next throw, Josef tripped on a root and the ball fell out of his hands into the air.

Katie caught it triumphantly. "I got it! I got it!" she shrieked, jumping up and down.

"That's not fair," Josef whined. "I tripped."

"I got it. It don't matter how," Katie said. Eyes Like the Sky walked over to her, barely able to suppress a laugh at seeing Josef on the ground. The two children plopped down in the grass next to Josef, breathing heavily from the exertion of the game.

"Now it's your turn to try and get the ball from Katie and me," Josef told Eyes Like the Sky as he laid back on the grass starring up at the cobalt blue sky.

"It's getting late. We should head back," Katie said. She looked up at the sky and tried to tell time by the sun as her father had taught her.

"Not yet," Eyes Like the Sky pleaded. "It's my turn." He had no desire to return to the small, dark cabin. "I wish we could always play like this."

"We can," Josef replied.

Eyes Like the Sky grew quiet, then spoke softly. "No, you will leave and I have to stay."

Josef sat up to face him. "You'll find other kids to play with."

"I don't know," the Indian boy said with doubt. Katie and Josef were his first real friends. Having spent these past two years in hiding, he didn't have any opportunities to meet other children. The ones from his memories on other reservations didn't like him because his father was a white soldier. "I never had friends."

"Everyone has friends," Josef blurted innocently, oblivious to the boy's fears.

Katie, though, saw the fear in her new friend's eyes. "You'll make friends here. You're real nice and you're fun," she assured with a smile. "You'll see."

Eyes Like the Sky nodded, afraid to reveal the doubt in his eyes.

Coming toward the children was a group of Cheyenne boys ranging in age from ten to sixteen. They were dressed in rugged buckskin with moccasins on their feet. Around their necks were colorful beads and feathers. One boy's face was painted as if he were about to go into battle. They formed a circle around Katie, Josef, and Eyes Like the Sky, blocking their passage. Katie's palms began sweating and her heart beat faster once she realized they were trapped. Taking a few deep breaths, she gathered her courage, stood up and moved closer to the boys.

"Ha ho," she said, just as her father had taught her. "Natsehestahe, Katie." She swallowed hard and tried to remember the words for what she wanted to say next. "Netonesevehe?"

The boys stared at her, neither of them saying a word. One boy, who looked to be a year or two older than Katie wondered who this girl was with the long golden hair who spoke the language of his people. Another boy looked directly at her and stepped forward.

"Natsehestahe, Flying Elk."

Eyes Like the Sky stood up now, too. "Natsehestahe, Eyes Like the Sky and Etsistahe, Josef." By now Josef was standing, too, wishing he had paid more attention to the Cheyenne words his father had taught them.

Just then the oldest boy with the paint on his face stepped toward Eyes Like the Sky. His movements were forceful and aggressive. "Why are you playing with a white baby and a white girl?" he said in Cheyenne, placing emphasis on the word white. "Are you a girl?" He placed his hands on his waist as if to challenge him.

"I am Cheyenne and these are my friends," Eyes Like the Sky answered with courage he didn't know he possessed.

"Real Cheyenne do not have white friends. A true Cheyenne warrior knows his duty is to kill the whites for what they have done to our people. Are you prepared to kill these two?" Brave Bear asked in Cheyenne.

"Hovaahane," Eyes Like the Sky yelled in Cheyenne, horrified by the thought. "They are my friends."

Brave Bear moved closer to Katie. Standing half a foot taller, he edged so close that he could see a fine sheen of perspiration coating her brow. With a swift movement, he grabbed her two braids in one hand, curled his fingers around them, and yanked them high in the air. "Then at least scalp her."

The boy who had admired Katie's beautiful sun-kissed hair stepped forward and pried her braids from Brave Bear's firm grip. Then he led her a few feet away. "He try to scare you," he told Katie in English.

Katie's posture relaxed and her breathing returned to normal. She smiled at the boy, grateful for his help. "He's doing a good job," she replied.

"Do not tell him," the boy said in a whisper that only Katie could hear. Then he turned to Brave Bear and spoke in Cheyenne. "It is time we return to the village."

Brave Bear shot his friend a look that suggested it was Brave Bear who would determine when they were finished, no one else. "Not so fast," Brave Bear said, looking at Eyes Like the Sky. "You are new here?"

Eyes Like the Sky didn't know what to make of Brave Bear. He frightened him, but he also noticed that the other boys weren't afraid of him. Still, he wondered if he would have scalped Katie. "Yes," Eyes Like the Sky replied after a time. "My mother is the niece of Chief Black Kettle," he said, hoping that information would earn him favor with the boys. This revelation seemed to work based on the spark of respect he noticed in the eyes of a few of the boys.

"Black Kettle was a coward," Brave Bear said. "Only a coward would try to make peace with the whites."

"He was a great man," Eyes Like the Sky shot back, anger building inside him.

"A great chief would have waged war against the whites, not let his people be massacred at dawn," Brave Bear replied.

"It was Custer who was the coward. He knew the only way to attack Black Kettle's band was to sneak up on them when everyone was asleep," Eyes Like the Sky answered back.

"Black Kettle was great," Josef added. He had been sitting quietly, frightened by what Brave Bear had almost done to Katie. Now, he had something to say to help his friend. "Our ma and pa knew Black Kettle. Our ma saved his life and our pa lived with him. You don't know nothin'."

Katie cringed at her brother's last words. She suspected these boys understood more about what happened to the Cheyenne than either she or Josef ever would.

Brave Bear starred at Josef, his face a cold, hard mask. "Is that right, baby boy? What do we know? We know that most of us lost our entire families at Washita."

"What happened wasn't Black Kettle's fault," Eyes Like the Sky implored. "Ask my mother or their father," he finished, pointing toward Katie.

"We've heard the stories. All I know is if Black Kettle hadn't camped there…" He let his words hang in the air. "It has to be someone's fault," Brave Bear said, his voice strained. He was transformed once again into the five year old boy who had seen his parents massacred. He could still hear the sounds of Washita – the gunshots, the screams, and the crying. For years afterward, every time Brave Bear closed his eyes, he saw the butchered bodies of his parents.

"It was Custer's fault," "Katie supplied in a bold voice.

The children grew quiet for several moments. Nothing they could say would change what had happened on that day more than eleven years ago now. Eventually Flying Elk spoke. "We should return to the village."

Brave Bear nodded and started walking away. The other boys fell in step behind him. Eyes Like the Sky, Katie, and Josef remained fixed in their exact same spots.

Brave Bear paused, turning around to face Eyes Like the Sky again. "Are you coming?" he yelled out.

"I should get back to our lodge. My father will need my help," Eyes Like the Sky excused.

"If you want to know how to be Cheyenne, you must come with us," Brave Bear told him.

"I am Cheyenne. I don't need to learn how to be Cheyenne."

"Here they will make you white. It looks like you're already half way there," he shot back.

"Can my friends come?" Eyes Like the Sky asked, bristling at his remark.

"They are not Cheyenne."

"Then I am not coming," he said, standing his ground.

"You need to choose," Brave Bear warned. "You cannot live in the white world and be Cheyenne. What will it be? Are you white or are you Cheyenne?

"Go," Katie said, feeling as if this was an important decision for her friend.

Eyes Like the Sky remained firmly in place. "What do you mean? I'm not leaving you."

"You need to go," she stressed, placing her hands on his back as if to urge him forward.

"Why?" Josef said. "He don't wanna go with those mean boys."

"He has to Joey," Katie said. She turned back toward Eyes Like the Sky. "He's only testing you. You need to go with them now."

"I don't understand. You're my friends."

"We'll always be friends. Just go now."

Eyes Like the Sky glanced between Katie and Brave Bear for several moments. He saw the older Indian boy wave his arm dismissively at them before turning to walk away. Unsure about what to do, he stood fixed in one spot until he finally turned around and ran to catch up with the boys.

"Let's go back, Joey." Katie began to walk in the direction of the lodge.

"Katie, those kids are mean. Why did you tell him to go with them?" Josef asked.

"He has to get along with them if he's going to be all right here," she explained.

"Why? They were gonna scalp you!"

Katie put her arm around her brother. "He has to live here. We don't. He has to get along with those boys. They were making sure he understood that. And Joey, they weren't gonna scalp me."

"How do you know?"

"They were trying to scare us."

"Katie, why'd you say that about Custer? Mrs. Slicker told us he was a hero," Josef asked, feeling as if he knew the answer, but needing to hear it from his sister. Since being here, Josef had begun to question everything he learned in school about the Indians.

"Joey, he's only a hero if you believe killing Indians is right."

"Did he kill Black Kettle and Cloud Dancing's wife?" Josef asked.

"Yeah."

"And No Harm?" Josef's heart thumped. He was afraid to go on, but he suspected Custer also killed those boys' families.

Katie nodded and tightened her hold around her brother's shoulder. "Promise me you won't tell Ma about those boys. She'll get upset. We'll just tell them that Eyes Like the Sky went to play with some Indian friends and we wanted to come back."

"Can we tell Papa?"

Katie thought for a few moments. "It'd be best if we don't."

"We're supposed to tell 'em everything. Remember what happened when I didn't tell about Wolf?"

"This is different. We weren't in danger and no one got hurt."

"What if you're wrong? What if they hurt Eyes Like the Sky and we didn't do nothing?" Josef was getting agitated as he remembered the burden of carrying his secret about Wolf.

"I'll make you a deal," Katie said. "If those boys do anything else to us or to Eyes Like the Sky, we'll tell. All right?"

Josef could see the lodge a few feet in front of them. He wanted to run inside to tell his parents all about the scary boy with paint on his face, and about how he grabbed his sister's hair, called him a baby, and said bad things about Black Kettle. Instead he looked up at Katie. "All right. I won't tell."

* * *

The sky was ebony dark, punctuated only by stars glittering like millions of precious diamonds. In the darkness of the night, Cloud Dancing made his way across the reservation. He had acquired the habit of taking late night walks into the nearby surrounding landscape, often walking until daybreak. These walks gave him a sense of inner peace that he didn't experience at any other time of day. For a brief period, he could imagine he was free and able to come and go as he pleased. In his imagination, his people were also free, healthy, and living as they had for generations. During these nighttime strolls, he surrendered to this vision until the harsh light of day jolted him back to reality. It was also a time to seek guidance from the spirits in renewing his commitment to the path he had chosen. It was a difficult journey that only seemed to grow harder and more desperate with time. Each day brought new obstacles and more sorrow. Despite these challenges, he knew there was no other path for him to follow. If one hundred years from now a Cheyenne knew about the medicine arrows or how to perform the sun dance, then his choice to live out his days confined to a reservation would have been worthwhile. As he headed toward the west, past rows of wooden cabins, he noticed a figure seated on the ground barely recognizable in the ink black night. He focused his eyes on the figure and identified Brian. 

Cloud Dancing approached the young man. "You are up late."

Brian jumped at the sound of the voice. When he realized the voice belonged to Cloud Dancing, his breathing calmed.

"I am sorry to startle you," Cloud Dancing said. "No one is usually awake at this hour."

"I couldn't sleep."

Cloud Dancing studied Brian's demeanor. Standing before him was not the bright, open child of his memory, but a young man coming into his own. "Something weighs on your mind." It was a statement rather than a question.

Brian hesitated, feeling as if Cloud Dancing could read his thoughts. "Not really," he deflected. He decided it would be selfish to pour his burdens into Cloud Dancing's cup when it was already filled to the brim. Cloud Dancing's troubles were far greater than those of a confused young man quarreling with his father.

Cloud Dancing looked skeptical, but he didn't press him. "May I join you?"

"I'd like that," Brian replied, tapping the ground at his side.

Cloud Dancing lowered himself to the ground next to Brian. They sat in companionable silence starring into the vast emptiness of the pitch black sky, seeing nothing at all, while listening to the unique music of the night.

After several minutes, Cloud Dancing spoke. "I find my mind is clearest at this time of day."

"I do some of my best writing late at night," Brian replied. At twenty one he had already adopted the habits of a reporter, writing late into the night for the next day's edition then sleeping until mid-morning.

"Are you writing a story now?"

Brian shrugged. "No, it's this heat," he excused.

"It has been very hot and dry," Cloud Dancing noted.

"Are you all right here, Cloud Dancing?" Brian asked. "I don't like to see you living here".

"I do not wish to live here." Those words lingered in the air for several awkward moments.

"It's good the children are going to school," Brian said. "This way they'll have choices for their future. They won't have to live here forever."

"What kind of choices will they have?" Cloud Dancing asked skeptically.

"Lots!" Brian replied animated. "They can make up their own mind about what work they want to do and where they want to live. I spoke to Noah. He returned from the Carlisle School and he's going to be a teacher."

"Ahh…Yellow Moon. He is open and curious like you. At boarding school they made him change his name to Noah. He prays to Jesus now. Where will he find this work as a teacher?"

"Anywhere," Brian supplied.

"Like a white person?"

"Yeah, once he finishes his schooling he'll be able to work anywhere. They all will. They'll have the choices of white people, but they will still be Cheyenne."

Cloud Dancing was silent for several long moments pondering a response. "Does Robert E. have the same choices you do?"

"He lives in town and runs a business." Brian avoided the question.

"But does he have the same choices?"

Brian reflected on the battle Robert E. faced to send Anthony to the town school and the hatred he and Grace endured when they brought the house in town. "No."

"Do you believe Colorado Springs would hire a Cheyenne school teacher?"

Brian thought about the question for a while mimicking the reactions of Jake, Loren and Hank in his head. "I suppose not."

"There is no place for Yellow Moon to be a teacher. He will not be hired in white towns, and by renouncing his Cheyenne ways, he cannot teach the children what I want them to learn. He will find he has no place to belong. You see Brian, I do not believe it is possible for my people to live among your people, and if they try, they will lose who they are."

"Maybe not right now, Cloud Dancing, but over time the fear will disappear and we can live together. I know we can. Someday there will be people like Noah teaching in white schools."

"I do not believe it is possible to live as you say and maintain who we are." Though Cloud Dancing disagreed with him, he admired his youthful optimism and exuberance. At one time he, Black Kettle, and Sully all believed they could reason or negotiate a peaceful coexistence between the Cheyenne and the whites. Instead war came, followed by the slow destruction of his people. Still, he had no cause to extinguish Brian's hope, for it was his generation, and the ones that came after, who would fight for a better world.

"Pa disagrees with me, too, but hear me out," Brian said, turning more fully to face Cloud Dancing. Brian found it impossible to have this conversation with Sully. He either shut down from the weight of his father's disapproval or he fought with him until one of them, usually Brian, stormed off in anger. Even though this topic affected Cloud Dancing personally, Brian felt the older man might listen and wouldn't be as quick to pass judgment. To Brian, Sully still saw him as a child in need of guidance while Cloud Dancing accepted him as a man. "Why shouldn't the Cheyenne be able to become teachers, farmers, doctors or engineers if they want? I'm not sure assimilation is so bad. Pa and I fight about it all the time, but it seems to me it's a better alternative to extinction."

"If assimilation means the end of what it means to be Cheyenne then it is no different from extinction," Cloud Dancing replied soberly.

"It is different," Brian insisted. "Your people would be alive and able to decide what they wanted to do with their lives."

"As long as they abide by other people's rules." Cloud Dancing swallowed hard before continuing. "They could not simply remain Cheyenne."

Brian considered his words before responding. He respected Cloud Dancing too much to say anything to offend him. "If you mean living as nomads, moving with the seasons, and fighting other tribes, then no, I don't think they can remain Cheyenne. But, why can't you keep your language, customs and traditions that make you Cheyenne while making different choices about how you live? Even the whites have had to change over time. When the silver mines dried up people had to do something else. It seems to me that all through time folks have had to learn how to adapt to change."

"Brian, my people have lived the same way for thousands of years. If not for the whites moving west, we could have continued unchanged for thousands more. We tried moving further west to escape them, but they continued to come. I see the changes we are being forced to make. I accept that we can no longer survive as hunters and warriors. I am not entirely opposed to the choices you speak of for my people. But, we need to have a voice in how those choices are presented. More importantly, adaptation cannot cost us our identity. My people will have no future if they believe it is bad to be Cheyenne."

"Why does it have to cost them their identity? I don't think it's bad to be Cheyenne."

"No, but your government does. They are waiting for my generation to die. They are stealing our children and sending them away to school. They cut off their hair, change their names, teach them English, and tell them to love Jesus. They tell them that who they are is bad and wrong, that what they believe is wrong. They keep them away from their families and the tribe. Tribe and family have always been our highest calling. This generation of children will not know what it means to belong to a tribe, to have a purpose greater than oneself. Your government believes the only way to save the child is to kill the Indian in them. That is what I must fight against."

"We all gotta fight against that. But, I don't see why over time the Cheyenne can't keep their Indian identity and their culture while learning our language and working alongside us in our towns."

"I cannot see the world you speak of," Cloud Dancing said sadly. "I do not believe it is possible." When he thought about the future, all he could envision was a world in which everything he held sacred had been lost. Cloud Dancing was not angry with Brian for he knew the young man's heart. Even as a young boy, Brian was curious and optimistic. He accepted people for who they were, not blinded by the color of their skin or their religion. Black Kettle had once shared this optimism. Black Kettle hoped that, over time, the Cheyenne and the whites could live in peace. In all that he had seen, Cloud Dancing had lost that optimism for anything more than an occasional small success. His hopes and dreams had changed. Victory now was a baby surviving to his first birthday, a child who still spoke to her parents in Cheyenne, and a man who knew how to find willow bark and what to do with it. "Brian, I would like to hear about your life. Are you still writing for the Gazette?"

Brian noticed how Cloud Dancing deftly managed to detour them to another topic. "Yes. I've also had stories picked up by larger papers back east."

"Will you remain in Colorado Springs?"

Brian hesitated. It was so easy to talk with Cloud Dancing, easier than it had been to talk with anyone in a long while. "I'd like to travel for a while. There's so much I want to see and experience before I settle down in one place. I feel I need to experience more to grow as a writer."

"What is stopping you?'

Brian shrugged. "As much as I want to go, I also want to stay. I don't want to leave my family and there's this girl…"

Cloud Dancing smiled. "It is serious?"

"I think so, but I'm not ready to get married. If I stay, I'm worried I'll regret it, but if I go and I lose Sarah, I'll regret that, too. I'm not sure what I want to do."

Cloud Dancing studied his expression. "I think you know what you want, but it frightens you."

Brian fixed his gaze toward the ground wondering how Cloud Dancing could read him so well. "There's also Sully."

"What about Sully?" Cloud Dancing asked, wondering if there was some bad news concerning his friend.

"Lately we're not getting along. We keep…" He paused. "We keep hurting each other. I don't want to fight with him all the time, but I can't seem to stop. He disagrees with me about everything."

Cloud Dancing narrowed his eyes. "That does not sound like Sully."

"He doesn't respect what I think about things," Brian said, releasing the hurt and frustration he had kept bottled up inside for the past few months. "He thinks my ideas about the Indians are all wrong." He paused gauging whether to continue. At the sympathetic understanding in Cloud Dancing's eyes, he went on. "Cloud Dancing, you don't agree with me, but you don't make me feel bad about how I think. I may not be right, but I know his way hasn't worked. Usually he made things worse off, like when he had to go into hiding and leave us for six months or when he went to jail for interfering with the dam. I also know the reservation is no way for men to live." All of Brian's frustration was spilling out now. "Pa's against anything new. He wants to stop everything. He doesn't see how some of it is good. Some of it is going to make our lives better, but he's too stubborn to see that." Brian finished and lowered his head into his hands.

Cloud Dancing listened to the pain and anger in Brian's words. Though his tone was harsh, underneath the words was a deep longing for his father's approval and acceptance. He knew, without having heard their exchange, that Sully hadn't been as dismissive of his son as Brian had relayed. To a young man desperate to be seen as an adult in his father's eyes, any disagreement felt like rejection. Cloud Dancing thought carefully before speaking. "It is natural for fathers and sons to have differences. I was at odds with my own son over his decision to join the Dog Soldiers. I believed the correct path was one of peace. My way failed and so did his. Brian, I disagreed with my son's choice, but I never rejected him or stopped loving him. Though I disagreed, I understood. So it is with Sully."

"I'm not so sure," Brian whispered.

"I am. Sully loves you with everything he is. You know that."

Brian was quiet for a short time before speaking. "I know," he said softly, dabbing at the water in his eyes. "I love him, too. I don't want to keep fighting with him."

"I am certain he does not want to fight with you either."

"Then why do we keep doing it?"

"It is how a young man separates from his father to become his own person. Sully knows this, but he is too close to see it now. You and Sully have always been very close. I have found that the tighter the father and son bond, the harder it is for the son to stand on his own. He finds he must fight harder to break free."

"You think that's what I'm doing?" Brain asked.

"Only you can answer that."

Brian pondered Cloud Dancing's words for a long time. "I think…." He hesitated. "Maybe I'm the one picking the fights."

Cloud Dancing smiled. Brian had always been intelligent and honest. "How?"

Brian thought for a few more moments. "Maybe, like you say, I've been fighting with him as a way to do what I think I need to do."

"Perhaps," Cloud Dancing replied. "Have you made up your mind?"

"I think so. Thank you Cloud Dancing."

_To Be Contined..._

_Thank you so much for reading and for reviewing here and on the Forum. The fan fiction site is holding their annual poll. If you are enjoying this story and want to vote for it as one of the five most promising stories of the year, you can goggle "dr. quinn fan fiction poll" and click on Most Promising Stories. You must vote for five stories for your vote to be counted and provide a valid e-mail address. With so many great ones in progress that shouldn't be a problem. Thank you. _


	21. Chapter 21

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

The following day, Sully brought the children to the reservation early in the morning. He wanted to spend as much time with Cloud Dancing and Running Wolf as possible during the days ahead. The illnesses afflicting the Indians made it difficult to see his brother as much as he would have liked, but it gave him an opportunity to help Running Wolf integrate into the tribe and to introduce his children to the Cheyenne. By sitting in on Cheyenne lessons taught by the elders and joining in Cheyenne games, he believed his children would not only learn to appreciate their ways, but they would also make new friends. The main disappointment in an otherwise satisfying visit was his uneasy relationship with Brian. Now that he was older, Sully had hoped to share more of the Cheyenne way of life with him. Instead, since their last argument, Brian had been avoiding him. What galled Sully even more was that Brian had declined yet another invitation to spend time with him at the reservation, to instead interview Agent Miles for an article he was writing on assimilation.

At dawn, Michaela had gone to the nearest town to wire for more quinine and other medicine, having almost depleted her supply. The new medicine was not expected to arrive until after they had left for home, but at least by ordering it, and leaving it behind for Cloud Dancing's use, she felt she was doing her small part to help the Cheyenne. Dorothy had accompanied her to town under the pretense of sending a wire to Loren, but Michaela knew it was an excuse to avoid the reservation.

Cloud Dancing had not spoken more than a few words to Dorothy since they arrived and none were more than mere pleasantries. The coolness between them hadn't thawed, and this caused Michaela to feel guilty about having been the one to talk Dorothy into coming on this trip. Her friend never said or did anything to spoil their enjoyment, but Michaela knew Dorothy was counting the days until they could begin their journey home.

It was early afternoon by the time Michaela and Dorothy rode back toward the reservation. The oppressive midday heat slowed their pace, giving the women a chance to fully absorb their surroundings. From a distance, the first glimpse of the reservation reminded Michaela of the Cheyenne village of her early days in Colorado Springs. She observed groups of men in conversation, women carrying kettles of water from the river, and children playing a game behind the wooden structures. But, as she moved closer, the true picture of life at Darlington came into focus. Log cabins now stood in place of tepees. The beautiful deerskin garments, adorned with beads and quillwork, were replaced by cotton skirts, trousers, and button down shirts; the moccasins replaced by hard leather shoes. Some older members of the tribe refused to abandon their traditional dress while many of the young attempted to blend the two cultures by wearing beads and medicine pouches under their cotton shirts. Though Michaela dressed herself and her family in western clothes, she felt profound sadness at seeing the Indians stripped of their native dress.

As they approached the center of the reservation, the women dismounted their horses and tied them to the railing outside the Indian Agent's office. Michaela's eyes scanned the grounds in search of her family. She smiled when she spotted Katie helping Night Crane decorate the robe for their lodge. Then she saw Sully standing with Running Wolf and Cloud Dancing along with other men from the tribe. When she caught Sully's eye, the sun rose in her face and she waved, letting him know she was there.

Michaela placed a hand on Dorothy's back. "Let's join Sully and Cloud Dancing. I think it's time you and Cloud Dancing talked," Michaela urged, nudging her forward.

Focusing her eyes on the men, Dorothy felt a surge of discomfort. "He looks busy. I don't think this is a good time. Why don't we join Night Crane? She's over there," Dorothy finished, pointing in the direction of their friend.

"You can't avoid him forever."

"I'm not avoiding him," Dorothy replied, a bit too sharply.

"It appears that you are," Michaela said, concerned that if Dorothy left without speaking to him, she might regret it for a long time. "This might be the last chance you'll ever have to spend time with him. I don't want you to have regrets when we get home."

"I have many regrets, Michaela," she responded softly as she adjusted her hat.

"Don't make this one of them," her friend persisted. "We should…" a young girl interrupted their conversation by waving her hand in front of Michaela.

"Please," the girl said, her voice quivering.

"May I help you?" Michaela replied warmly.

The girl was calmed by the kind eyes looking down at her. "Are you the…" she paused to search for the word. "The doctor?"

Michaela looked into the frightened brown eyes of the young girl who appeared to be about eight years of age. "I am. Do you need a doctor?"

"My sister…she's sick," the girl explained.

Michaela knelt to meet the child at eye level, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If you take me to her, I will do my best to help her."

At her words, the girl's ragged breathing slowly returned to normal. She led the way to their lodge with Michaela and Dorothy close behind. When they arrived at a wooden cabin much like all the others, Michaela followed the girl inside while Dorothy waited outside to give them privacy. She knew Michaela would ask for her if she were needed.

Inside the cabin, Michaela noticed a child, no more than two years of age, crying in the corner. She was pale and skeletal. Michaela rushed to her side as the child recoiled in fear and cried even louder.

"What's the matter with her?" Michaela asked the older child.

"She cries and cries and…" The girl placed her head in her hands and started to cry now, too, lowering herself to the floor beside the doctor. "I don't know how to say."

Michaela put her arm around the girl. "Where is your mother?"

"Ehovanee'e."

"Gone?" Michaela didn't understand.

The girl lifted her head, surprised the doctor understood Cheyenne. "She got sick. She took the hanging road…" the girl said in Cheyenne as she wiped her tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry," Michaela replied. The younger girl's screams intensified. "It would be a big help to me if you could get your sister to lie down. I need to examine her." Michaela motioned the meaning with her hands since she wasn't sure how much English the child understood.

"Is my sister going to the hanging road?" the girl asked in a mix of Cheyenne and English. She straightened her sister's legs and carefully placed her arms at her side.

Though it had been many years since Michaela had used the Cheyenne language, over the past few days, words and phrases had come back to her. "I'm going to try to prevent that," she replied, reaching inside her bag for a stethoscope. "What is her name?"

"Little Sparrow," the girl replied in English. Her sister's wails continued coming in waves of fear and pain.

Michaela gently stroked Little Sparrow's hair in an attempt to make her more comfortable. "I won't hurt you. I need to find out where it hurts." She spoke in a soothing tone. At the doctor's gentle touch, the girl began to relax her rigid body. Then Michaela placed her hand on her stomach.

"Is that where it hurts?" Michaela asked.

"She can't keep food down," the older girl added. She continued to blend Cheyenne and English, but the doctor seemed to understand her.

Michaela listened to her stomach noises with her stethoscope, then lowered her hand to the child's abdomen and gently pressed against it in several places. She didn't feel an obstruction, nor was the pain localized. When Michaela finished her examination, Little Sparrow winced and moaned while holding her hands to her belly. Michaela reached for her bag and withdrew a bottle of bicarbonate. Then she turned toward the older child. "I'm going to give her some medicine that should settle her stomach. If she's not feeling better by tomorrow I want you to come find me. Cloud Dancing knows where I am. Do you understand?"

The girl nodded in reply as she watched the doctor administer medicine to her sister.

Meanwhile Dorothy continued to wait outside. She could hear the girl's agonizing screams and, more than once, she considered entering the cabin. Given how frightened the young girl was, she thought that could potentially make the situation worse. With a keen reporter's eye, Dorothy occupied her time by observing the Indians as they carried out their daily routine. There was a man repairing his lodge, two children chasing after a ball, and several men tending to their crops. She shook her head, wondering how anything grew in this arid soil.

Dorothy froze in place when during her casual observations Cloud Dancing came into view. He was heading straight toward her in a slow, steady gait. Her first instinct was to run inside to avoid him. Realizing how foolish she would look if he had already seen her, she remained outside with her eyes fixed on the direction he was headed, preparing the words she might say to him if they were eventually face to face. When Cloud Dancing stopped in front of a nearby lodge to speak with a young woman, Dorothy felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment. Secure in the knowledge he hadn't seen her, she relished the moment to really look at him without the distracted nervousness she felt in his presence. Though he looked much thinner and was a bit older, she still felt the familiar flutter in her stomach as she watched him move. His eyes still sparkled when he smiled, and that smile made her body warm all over.

Dorothy studied the woman he had come to visit. By Cheyenne standards she would be regarded as plain. She was considerably younger than Cloud Dancing with a kind, round face, long raven hair, and large dark brown eyes. As she studied her slender form, she noticed a small mound barely suggesting the first signs of pregnancy. As Dorothy watched the relaxed and animated way the two interacted, she almost garnered the courage to walk over to join their conversation. That's when she noticed him lift his hand to gently brush away a strand of hair that had fallen in the young woman's face. Then she noticed a look in the woman's eyes. Dorothy knew that look. She had felt it herself. An ache rose up in her gut and she had to turn away, as a ribbon of jealousy wound around her, squeezing her tight. What appeared to be a friendly social exchange now seemed to be so much more. They were a couple.

Tears sprang to her eyes at the realization that what they had or might someday have was over. Dorothy told herself a thousand times that she and Cloud Dancing had no future together. She knew the speech by heart. Still, deep down, in her most private thoughts, that she rarely even allowed herself to hear, she couldn't help but hold out a tiny flicker of hope. Hope that if the world ever changed enough, they might someday find their way back to each other. The scene before her extinguished that last impossible dream forever. It hurt. But, through the pain, Dorothy also felt a strange sense of relief. It occurred to her that this could be the reason for Cloud Dancing's distance toward her. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her or even that he no longer considered her a friend. It was that he didn't know how to tell her he had fallen in love.

Inside the cabin, Michaela watched as Little Sparrow fell asleep in her older sister's arms. She wondered about this girl who carried such large responsibilities. "Netonesevehe?" Michaela asked in a low voice.

"Turtle," the girl replied.

Her name brought to mind an Indian legend of the sturdy turtle that carried the weight of the earth on his back, and she thought it fitting. "Who looks after you?" she asked, gathering her medicine and placing it in her bag.

"Heho'eehe."

"Where is your father now?"

"Ehotse'ohe."

"Does he work on the reservation?"

Turtle shook her head. "He takes supplies in wagons. He is gone many days," the girl answered in Cheyenne as she continued to stroke her sister's hair.

Michaela had heard that some of the Cheyenne had taken jobs hauling freight to Wichita. They were good jobs and hard to get, but it kept them away from their families for long periods of time. "Who takes care of you when he's away?"

"I do."

"You are so young. Surely, there are adults who look in on you?"

The little girl nodded. "Spotted Owl comes by when I go to school, but she could not help Little Sparrow. What is wrong with her?" she asked in Cheyenne.

Michaela had trouble understanding all the words, but captured just enough to understand her meaning. "I believe she ate something that upset her stomach. It might have been spoiled food. The medicine should make her feel better. For the next few days try to make sure she eats only bland food," she said, realizing that these children had so little food that they ate when they could. It would be difficult to follow her instructions.

"Bland?"

"Yes, food such as bread and broth."

"We do not get that."

"I'll see what I can do," Michaela said. She was determined to find some appropriate food for these children.

"Nea'ese."

"You're welcome. I will find Spotted Owl and ask her to come by today. I'll check on you and your sister tomorrow."

Michaela left the cabin weighed down by the hardship of the children, wishing there was something she could do to make their lives easier. With her mind preoccupied, she headed toward her friend. Dorothy was so absorbed in the interaction happening in front of her that she didn't hear Michaela approach.

"Dorothy, I need to find a woman named Spotted Owl," Michaela said, forming ideas in her mind about how to help these two little girls.

Dorothy didn't register the question as she continued to stare at the couple.

"What's so interesting?" Michaela asked, perplexed by Dorothy's demeanor.

Dorothy registered her voice through the thick cloud of her emotions. "Over there…Cloud Dancing."

Michaela followed Dorothy's gaze, curious about what had captured her friend's attention. "Oh my," Michaela said when she saw Cloud Dancing with a woman, a light blanket draped across their shoulders.

* * *

"Are you always so brave?" a voice startled Katie from behind. Since leaving Night Crane, she had been standing alone watching her brother play the kicking game with Eyes Like the Sky and some other boys from the reservation. She didn't hear anyone approach. When she turned to the sound of the voice, she noticed one of the boys from their encounter yesterday. "What did you say?"

When he was face to face with Katie, he hesitated. His palms were damp with sweat and the words he wanted to say had escaped from his mind. He had never spoken to a white girl before. She was different from any girl he had ever seen with her striking yellow hair plaited into two long tails down her back and her green and white flowered dress. "I asked if you were always so brave." He repeated the words he had practiced all day in the hope of seeing her again.

Katie squinted up at him with one eye open, a puzzled look on her face. "I'm not brave," she replied, unsure how he had gotten that impression. Looking more closely, she realized he was the boy who had freed her hair from Brave Bear's grip. His straight black hair hung at his shoulders and he was dressed in buckskin pants like her father wore. His shirt was sleeveless with fringes and made of deerskin with intricate beadwork. Around his neck he wore beads and a medicine pouch.

"Yesterday. You are only one not scared," the boy explained, embarrassed by his English.

"I _was_ scared at first, but you helped me see that your friend was only trying to frighten us. I didn't want him to see it was working," she said with a wry smile. "Thank you for helping me."

He nodded a reply, unsure of her words. "Brave Bear is a good person. He is angry, and like most of us, he does not know the right way to be Cheyenne in the white world. My father tells me it is better to be angry than to give up hope."

"I can see why he's angry," Katie replied. In her time here she had seen enough to be upset by how the Indians lived. Though young and unaware of the full tragedy that had befallen the Cheyenne, she was old enough to be disturbed by the sight of hungry children and people being forced to remain on a reservation, not free to travel where they wanted.

The boy acknowledged her compassion with a faint smile. "You have a strong spirit." Though he didn't know Katie very well, he had no doubt about the truth of his words. Katie didn't know how to react to that statement. As they both fell mute, having run out of conversation, she turned back to the game being played behind her. The boy didn't want their conversation to end so he tried to think of something else say. "Katie, you talk Cheyenne?"

Katie turned back around to face him. "Not really," she admitted. "My Pa's been teaching me some words."

"Why?"

"He says it shows respect to try to talk to people in their own language," Katie explained. She pushed one of her braids over her shoulder.

"He talk Cheyenne?" the boy asked, surprised.

"Yeah, but he says he's rusty."

"Rusty?"

Katie realized he didn't know the word. "Rusty. It means he's out of practice. He used to live with the Cheyenne and he spoke it every day. He tried to help the Cheyenne get treated right by the Army. That was a long time ago. That's why he's out of practice," she said then added with a broad smile. "My Cheyenne words came in handy yesterday."

The boy wasn't sure of everything she said, but it seemed her father had lived with the Cheyenne and tried to help them. He guessed that's why her family was here now. "Handy?"

"Handy means useful. I think it helped me to speak to all of you in Cheyenne," she said, wishing she knew more Cheyenne words.

"It did," he replied cheerfully. "We respected you."

Katie was pleased. She wished she could tell her father, but then she would have to tell him about the encounter with the boys. "Where did you learn to speak English?"

"School. But, I no talk good."

"You speak better English than I do Cheyenne," she said with a laugh. "You'll get better."

"No I won't. My father does not want me to go."

"To school?"

The boy nodded.

"Why?"

"He thinks I…" he struggled for the word. "Forget who am."

Katie tried to figure out the meaning of his words. "He's afraid you'll forget you're Cheyenne?"

"Yes, but I not forget. I know who I am." The boy looked down at his feet for several moments afraid to ask his next question. "Katie, will you help me learn English?"

Katie wasn't sure if she should do something against his father's wishes, but she also knew she couldn't say no. "While we're here, I'll teach you English if you teach me Cheyenne. I can surprise my Pa."

The boy's face lit up. "Nea'ese." He didn't know whether he was more excited about learning English or spending time with Katie.

"You know my name, but I don't know yours. If we're going to study together what should I call you?"

"Live in Hopes."

Katie stared at the boy for a long time, her mind flooded with stories told by her parents of the baby saved by No Harm. She didn't think it was possible that she could be standing in front of him. In her mind he was still the baby her father had cradled in his arms on one of the worst days in his life.

"I know," he said, embarrassed. For most of his life he felt burdened by his name. He didn't know how to live in hopes when he was surrounded by so little hope. Where was the hope in hunger, disease, and captivity, he wondered. Still, he knew the story of his name. He felt he was obligated to live up to it in some way that was yet to be revealed to him. That's why it was so important for him to learn English. He knew his name carried the words of his chief, Black Kettle. While he would never abandon his Cheyenne ways, he felt that his destiny called on him to communicate with the whites. Coming out of his own thoughts for a moment he noticed that Katie hadn't said a word and was looking at him with a strange expression on her face. He grew uncomfortable. "Did I say wrong?"

With her eyes wide in amazement, Katie could only shake her head no. After taking several deep breaths she eventually found her voice. "My parents. They gave you your name?"

Now it was Live in Hopes turn to be shocked. "I don't understand."

"My brother, Brian's friend, No Harm, died at Washita," Katie began the story that she had heard many times. "He was about the age you are now. He hid you under his body as his mother had once done for him."

Live in Hopes resumed the story as he had been told. "And white friends of Cloud Dancing found me and brought me to their village. I was nursed by a white woman and cared for by a Negro couple."

Katie continued with tears in her eyes. "When my Ma handed you back to Cloud Dancing, she told him she and my Pa thought you should be called Live in Hopes so you could carry the words of your chief. Black Kettle hoped that one day our people could live in peace. My whole family thinks of you often and so do Grace and Robert E. They're the Negro couple who cared for you. They wanted to raise you, but Cloud Dancing knew you needed to be raised by the Cheyenne."

Live in Hopes had tears in his eyes now, too. "It really happened like that?" He was amazed to hear the story from Katie's mouth in the exact way he had been told. "Cloud Dancing told me the story, but lately I began to wonder if it was all true."

"I was told the same story. My parents were the white friends of Cloud Dancing."

"I want to hear all about the people who took care of me. And, could you take me to your parents?"

* * *

Running Wolf and his family sat outside their cabin finishing the last of their morning meal of government rations. They spent as little time inside the cabin as possible, using it only for sleeping and dressing. With only one small window, the hot stale air had no way to circulate properly, giving the structure a musty, foul odor.

"You better hurry or you'll be late for that school?" Running Wolf told Eyes Like the Sky. A battle raged within him over their decision to send him to the reservation school. A strong part of him wanted to stand beside the other Cheyenne who refused to send their children to the school. Another part of him agreed with his wife that he needed to learn to navigate a white world so he might not be confined to a reservation for his entire life. As his parents, they would teach him the important lessons he couldn't learn in school.

"Is the school…is it all right?" his mother asked. She paced back and forth in front of the lodge trying to calm a fussy baby.

"I don't mind going to school. I'm ahead of the other kids in reading. But, I'd rather be playing with Katie and Josef," Eyes Like the Sky replied, pulling on the collar of his shirt. "And I don't like these clothes. They itch."

After settling the baby, Night Crane placed him in a basket and stepped toward her older son, adjusting the collar on his shirt. When she finished, she smoothed his hair back and placed her hands on his shoulders. "After school you may change back into your regular clothes. Then you may play."

"I should go," he said, giving his mother a hug. He waved to Running Wolf as he headed down the road.

Night Crane watched him run off in the direction of the school. "Did we make the right decision? What if they change him?"

Running Wolf stood and walked over to his wife. "We are not going to let them change him. If we don't like what's happening, we will take him out."

Night Crane smiled up at her husband in agreement. From the direction of their son's retreating form, she noticed Cloud Dancing and Sully walking in the opposite direction toward their cabin. "You have visitors," she told her husband.

Running Wolf watched as they walked along the dirt road toward his cabin. He stepped away from his lodge to meet them halfway. "It is good to see you." Cloud Dancing and Sully returned the greeting and together the three men headed toward the cabin to give their regards to Night Crane.

"I have come to see how you are," Cloud Dancing told Night Crane, glancing at the homey touches she had made to the cabin. "That's a fine robe on the door. Your mother would be proud."

"Thank you," she replied as she gathered the dirty plates and cups from breakfast. "We are adjusting. It is difficult, but not as difficult as I had feared. Being with my people again is of great comfort." She turned in Sully's direction. "Where is Michaela today?"

"She stayed back at the camp ta do some chores. Told me ta tell ya she'd stop by later ta show ya somethin'," Sully replied. From Night Crane's expression, Sully knew she understood Michaela's message even if he didn't.

"Would you all join us for supper this evening?" Night Crane asked. "There isn't much, but we'd enjoy your company."

"We'd like that," Sully replied. "That's part o' the reason we're here. We're goin' fishin' and wanted ta see if Runnin' Wolf wanted ta come."

"If we are lucky, there will be enough to eat tonight," Cloud Dancing added. Just then New Promise let out a loud wail, causing all heads to turn in the direction of the basket.

Night Crane lifted him up and placed him over her shoulder, gently rubbing his back. "If you gentlemen will excuse me, the little one is hungry," she said, then left to feed New Promise in the privacy of their cabin.

"I would like to join you. Let me get my rod." Running Wolf was pleased to be invited to go fishing with his two new friends. He felt especially honored considering the limited time Sully had with Cloud Dancing. From spending time with Sully and getting to know him, he also suspected an ulterior motive. It wouldn't surprise him if Sully was trying to forge an alliance between himself and Cloud Dancing before he left. If he was, Running Wolf welcomed it, determined to live up to Sully's faith and trust.

After saying goodbye to Night Crane, Running Wolf walked along the sunburned grass to the river with Sully and Cloud Dancing. It was another stubbornly hot day, the cloudless blue sky making the air clean and bright. Since it still hadn't rained for weeks, the river's water level was low forcing the men to walk further in search of deeper water where they hoped the fish would be biting. On the way, they spoke of reservation life and plans for the upcoming Massaum ceremony. When they arrived at their desired spot, they placed their fishing rods in the water, relaxed in each other's company.

After a long time in silence, Cloud Dancing spoke. "Sully tells me they have you cutting hay?"

Running Wolf attached another worm to his pole. "That and chopping wood. It's honest work," he replied. "There were a few delivery jobs that paid better, but I didn't want to be away from my family. I have time to help the tribe in other ways, Cloud Dancing. I would like to be of use to you."

Cloud Dancing felt a pull at the end of his line. "There is much to do. We could use your help," he said. He removed a trout from the end of his pole and placed it in the bucket, grateful the fish were biting and eager for a large catch.

Sully noticed that a herd of about forty cattle had wandered closer to them as they grazed on the tall grass. "Brian told me 'bout the Indian Agent's idea of bringin' in herds of cattle for you ta raise stock," he said. "What do ya think 'bout that?"

Cloud Dancing lifted his head to watch the cattle chewing on the abundant grass. "It is his alternative to farming."

Running Wolf removed a fish from his pole, placing it in the bucket alongside the others. "Anyone can see corn and grain aren't going to grow on this land."

"'Cept someone in Washington," Sully quipped.

Running Wolf returned his pole to the water. "What do you think of his idea?" He was eager for Cloud Dancing's opinion.

Cloud Dancing rested his chin in his hand pondering an answer. "The idea has merit, but it also worries me."

"How's that?" Sully asked, finally feeling a tug at the end of his rod.

"It is true we will starve if we rely on farming. Year after year the crops fail, with last year being the worst," Cloud Dancing said, glancing back over toward the cattle. "Raising cattle would provide both food and money for clothes and supplies. It is also a trade our people can understand. The tribe can take pride in an expanding herd of cattle. It is how it used to be with horses. What worries me is how we will relate to the white cattle ranchers."

"In what way," Running Wolf asked.

"On the one hand, if we raised our own cattle, we would not be tempted to kill the cow of the white ranchers to feed our families. There have been instances of this. It is wrong, but a starving man will do what it takes to feed his family. I cannot condemn him for this." Cloud Dancing paused. "Those cattle you see are not our own. They belong to the Standard Cattle Company. We lease grazing rights to them in exchange for annual payments. There are many such arrangements throughout the reservation. We have done so with agreement from Agent Miles, but without government sanction. The arrangement is fragile. Already, those cattle ranchers who are left out of these agreements have tried to put an end to them. I fear even more problems should the Cheyenne become competitors."

Running Wolf carefully considered all that he had heard. "Won't it take a long time before we are a threat to their livelihood? It will take decades to amass herds the size of some of those companies. Why should they feel threatened?"

"Runnin' Wolf's right, 'sides, ya gotta do what's best for your families," Sully said, warming to the idea of the Cheyenne raising cattle. He regretted how easily he dismissed it when Brian had attempted to discuss it with him.

"It is worth trying. Still, it remains to be seen whether Agent Miles can secure the cattle for us to start our herds," Cloud Dancing explained. A pause in the conversation created a calm stillness all around them. The tranquil quiet was interrupted by a rustle in the grass behind him, followed by heavy footsteps. Wrenching himself around in the direction of the noise, Cloud Dancing startled at the sight of two men who didn't seem to belong on the reservation. With their wide brim hats, dungarees, and a bandana tied around their necks, Cloud Dancing assumed they were ranch hands.

"Look here Ray, Injuns," a heavyset man said to the other, pushing back the brim of his hat to get a closer view.

The man referred to as Ray was tall and slender with dark brown hair and a mustache. By the brown stains on his jeans, his hair plastered to his head, and several days' growth of facial hair, he appeared in need of a bath and a shave. "Now what do we have here," he drawled, wiping the back of his hand across his brow. "Ya'll layin' low ta steal yourselves a cow? If ya are, Bo an' me…"

Running Wolf leapt to his feet, cutting him off. "My friends and I are fishing on _our_ land. We have no intention of harming your cattle." His shoulders heaved from the seething anger that threatened to boil over at the presumption of these two ignorant men.

"Your land," Bo hissed out in disdain, turning his head to spit on the ground.

By now Sully and Cloud Dancing were on their feet on either side of Running Wolf. These men appeared to be looking for a fight and Cloud Dancing knew how badly the situation could escalate out of control if he didn't try to diffuse it. "This is reservation land. Your cattle are free to graze on our land undisturbed, but you are trespassing. I am asking you to leave," Cloud Dancing said in a level tone of voice.

"Tresspassin'! Ya hear that Bo," Ray said snidely. "What ya gonna do, scalp us." When he finished, he roared with laughter at his own joke.

"The Army shoulda killed all o' ya off when they had the chance," Bo said, leaning back on his heels. "Don't make sense wastin' money on a bunch o' lazy, good fer nothin' heathens."

Ray chewed on a wad of tobacco lodged in the side of his mouth, then spit juice on the ground. "They out fishin' when the rest o' us are workin'," Ray added, his hand pointed dismissively in their direction. "Must be nice gettin' free food an' a place ta live. Rest o' us gotta work for a livin'."

Weighed down with repressed rage, Sully stepped forward, hand on his tomahawk. He was battling to maintain his composure when every muscle in his body itched to tackle these two loud mouths to the ground and pummel them until they stopped talking. "That's enough o' that. We ain't interested in your cows. We don't want trouble. Just get outta here an' we'll forget 'bout this."

Bo stepped closer to Sully studying his hair, clothes, beads, and belt. A smirk came to his face as his eyes settled on his tomahawk. "Whada we have 'ere? Hey, Ray. This half breed thinks he can tell us what ta do."

Cloud Dancing recognized that Sully's temper was surging and he couldn't blame him for wanting to strike these men. There was no doubt the three of them could take care of these ranch hands. What held him back was the knowledge that, regardless of the circumstances, his people never came out on the winning side in the white man's court. As much as he wanted to unleash his fury on these men, he knew it would be a mistake. "Please leave us alone and we will forget this happened," he implored.

Bo ignored him, continuing to stare at Sully, while walking in a big circle around him as if he were a circus animal. It took all of Sully's willpower not to deck him. He resisted, knowing the situation would turn out badly for the Cheyenne if he acted on his rage. "Ya not man enough ta hold your own with your own kind. Ya gotta live with 'em," Bo hollered at Sully, waving his hand toward the Indians.

"Hey, Bo," Ray chimed in. "I bet once he got o' taste o' those injun squaws he didn't wanna leave. Is that it half breed? Ya got a squaw?"

Sully's whole body was pulsating with fury. Having had enough, he took a step forward with his fist raised, only to be held back by Cloud Dancing.

"Had me a squaw once," Bo went on. "After she stopped her yellin', we had a mighty good time. Had 'er beggin' fer more. Never met a woman who could resist 'ole Bo," he said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Running Wolf couldn't listen to another word. With visions of the soldier who had raped his wife filling his head, he lunged forward. "You bastard," he yelled pushing Bo to the ground and striking his face. Cloud Dancing tried in vain to pull him off Bo while Ray leapt toward Sully. Seeing him coming, Sully moved to the side, grabbing hold of his arm. With a firm hand on his shoulder, he drew back his hand, curled his fingers into a fist, and hit him hard. Cloud Dancing moved to pull Sully back, but his jaw ended up connecting with Ray's fist and he fell to the ground.

Cloud Dancing got to his feet, his hand rubbing his jaw as he helplessly watched the four men roll around on the ground taking turns punching each other in the chest and head. As he contemplated what to do next, three other men appeared, causing his heart to sink with the knowledge that the situation had just gone from bad to worse. The three men motioned for Cloud Dancing to help them break up the fight. Caught off guard, he hesitated, but then joined with one to pull Sully and Ray apart while the other two separated Running Wolf and Bo.

"A large man with a wide brim hat held tight to Bo, preventing him from moving. "Wanna tell me what this is about," he said to the ranch hands, his voice commanding authority. Cloud Dancing let out the breath he was holding as he heard the hint of disgust in the man's tone.

"They were tryin' ta steal a cow," Bo stuttered, gasping for breath. "Ray an' me stopped 'em."

"They're lyin'," Sully shot back, the veins in his neck throbbing as blood from his lip trickled down to his chin.

Cloud Dancing stepped forward sensing that the man would listen. He explained the circumstances that led to the fighting. The man studied Cloud Dancing. Then he looked from Sully to Running Wolf to the fishing poles, finally letting his eyes settle on the bucket of fish filled to the brim. His eyes searched out the cows that still grazed in the field, unfazed by the earlier commotion. "It don't look like they was stealin' cattle," the man said at last. "We warned you boys ta stay off Indian land." Cloud Dancing breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry 'bout this. Sometimes they get outta hand."

Infuriated their boss believed the Indians over them, Bo and Ray tried to wrestle free from the stronghold in which he and his men held them. The boss again turned toward Cloud Dancing. "I'll send some provisions by later for your troubles. Now, I'm gonna get these two outta here." The three men left holding tight to the two errant ranch hands.

Cloud Dancing turned to his friends. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Sully replied, breathing heavily as he wiped the blood from his mouth and chin.

Running Wolf's physical injuries didn't hurt as much as his shame. "Cloud Dancing, I should have controlled my temper. I put us all in danger. I am sorry."

Cloud Dancing handed him a cloth to wipe the blood on his knuckles. "It was inevitable. They were intent on goading us into a fight. I am just glad you are both all right." He let his eyes drift once again to the cattle. "This is what I fear. Last year Running Buffalo was accused of trying to steal cattle from another ranch. He was killed."

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you all so much for reading and for all the great comments!!_


	22. Chapter 22

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

"Hey Ma," Brian greeted upon his return to the campsite. He had spent another day observing government programs designed to help the Indians adapt to white society.

"Brian," Michaela replied warmly. She was standing over a washtub scrubbing a blouse. Her sleeves were rolled up above her elbows and the front of her dress was splattered with water. Behind her, a clothesline displayed her afternoon's work. "It's been so hot. I thought we could all use some fresh clothes."

"Thanks Ma. I know I could." Brian found his mother's inability to relax amusing. She had spent most of her days treating patients and now she was washing their clothes. "Where's everyone?"

Michaela withdrew her hands from the soapy water, rinsed the blouse, and hung it on the clothesline. Then she wiped her hands across the front of her skirt. "Let's see…Sully's with Cloud Dancing, the children are at the reservation, and Dorothy wanted to explore the town. She was lonesome for civilization. It's just the two of us…for a little while anyway."

Brian was glad they were alone. If he didn't speak with her now, he wasn't sure when he would get another opportunity. Since making his decision, Brian felt better than he had in weeks. Gone was the irritability and confusion that had clouded his mind for so long. Ordinarily he would have shared his news with Sully first, but after their last argument, he felt awkward and uneasy around him.

Michaela reached for Sully's blue striped shirt and placed it into the washtub. "We're having supper with Running Wolf and his family this evening. I hope you'll join us."

Brian cast his eyes toward the ground. "I'd rather stay here. I want to write up my observations tonight while they're still fresh in my mind."

Michaela eyed him skeptically. "Brian, this wouldn't have anything to do with your recent quarrel with Sully would it?"

He lifted his head to meet her eyes. "He told you?"

"Not the details, but the tension between the two of you is obvious, at least to me." Michaela lifted her hands from the water, dried them on a dish towel, and walked toward her son. She placed a comforting hand on his arm. "The two of you are far too important to one another to continue hurting each other they way you are. I'd like you to try to work things out with Sully."

At her words and her gentle touch, his eyes misted with water. Seeking a diversion to settle his emotions, he moved toward the washtub. He finished scrubbing the shirt, his eyes focused on his task. "We can't seem to talk to each other anymore without one of us getting angry," he said.

Michaela moved closer to him. "Have you considered why that's happening?" she asked in a neutral tone of voice, hoping to draw him out.

Brian shrugged his shoulders. "I said some terrible things…and after what I saw today…" he drifted off, not wanting to repeat their last argument with his mother.

It pained her to see her son and her husband at odds with each other. What made it worse was that she hadn't a clue how to repair the strain in their once close relationship. "We all say things we don't mean in the heat of an argument. What's important is not to let those words fester and do irreparable harm."

Brian rinsed the shirt and turned around to hang it on the clothesline. "Ma, there is something I want to talk to you about," he said with his back to Michaela.

"I'm listening," she said, wishing he would tell her what was bothering him, for it was clear he hadn't been himself for most of this trip and even before that.

Brian turned around, wiping the sweat from his eyes. "I've been thinking…well…I want to become a better writer."

Michaela didn't expect that and had to rewind the words, playing them again in her head to make sure she hadn't missed something. "They say the only way to improve is by writing."

"I believe there's more to it."

"Go on."

Brian stepped away from the washtub to stand in front of his mother. "It seems to me that to be really good, a writer has to have broad experience to draw from. He has to be exposed to different perspectives and people. All those experiences can come together in the writing."

"Yes, I suppose that would be beneficial," Michaela said, pausing to consider his words. "Brian, it sounds to me as if you're describing the accumulated experiences one acquires over a lifetime. I have no doubt that wisdom contributes to becoming a better writer. Accumulating and applying that knowledge is your life's work. I face a similar challenge as a doctor."

"I was thinking…" he stopped, reluctant to go on.

"What?" she urged, guiding them to sit down by the cold campfire.

After Michaela took a seat, Brian continued to stand, afraid he'd lose his courage if he sat down. "I'd like to…" He stopped again and took a deep breath. "When we get home, I'm gonna take some time to travel." His words were rushed and came out strewn together in a blur.

"Did you say you're going to travel?"

"Yeah." He avoided her eyes.

"I think that's wonderful. For how long?"

"At least a year."

Michaela shot up to her feet. "A year! Brian! Why? Where will you go? What will you do? How will you live? Are you going alone?" Her questions came tumbling out in a rush of motherly concern.

The comfort of her predictability gave Brian the strength to continue. "Ma, I'm a grown man. I'll answer all your questions, but you have to respect that this is my decision and that I've thought it through. I've spent the past few months thinking of little else. I know it's what I have to do."

Michaela nervously smoothed the front of her dress, surprised the wet spots had dried so quickly. "Sweetheart, are you certain about this? Have you considered the possibility that you're running away?"

That question caused Brian to laugh out loud. "Ma, I'm not running away. I've been confused because for a long time now I've known that this is something I needed to do, for me. At the same time, I couldn't imagine not being able to see you and Pa every day…and Sarah. You've always been there for me. Over the past few days the voices telling me to go have been getting louder. I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Michaela placed her hand on his shoulder. "Oh Brian, Sully and I will always be there for you, no matter where you are. You know that don't you?"

Tears welled in his eyes again. "I know. Lately I've been thinking…I don't know…I don't mean to fight with Pa all the time. Cloud Dancing helped me to see that maybe I've been picking the fights. I didn't know why. Lots of different reasons, I guess." Brian paused while his mother remained silent allowing him to continue. "I used to think pretty much the same as Pa, but I'm not sure now. I need to figure things out on my own. It's been hard 'cause if I disagreed with him, Pa just rejected my point of view. After a while it became easier to reject his first."

"Brian, it's natural for you to consider other points of view. It's also natural for you to challenge your father. Colleen certainly challenged me as she was growing up. But, Sully doesn't reject you or your ideas. Why do you believe that?"

Brian shrugged, trying to form an adequate explanation. "He tells me I'm wrong about whatever I think."

Michaela found her son's perspective difficult to accept, but she knew he had told her it the way he had experienced it. Any response she gave was a delicate act of diplomacy. "Brian, it seems to me that both you and Sully could be doing a better job of listening to one another. I'm sure you have excellent ideas that are worthy of consideration. At the same time, Sully has a lifetime of experience you could learn from. That experience has caused him to become cynical at times, especially with regard to the Cheyenne." She paused to bring her hand up to his face. "Your father's cynicism should not squelch your optimism for the future, but at the same time, you shouldn't dismiss him as a relic. There is still a great deal you can learn from Sully."

Brian turned away. "I know. I haven't been listening real well to him either."

"Have you considered the possibility that by instigating arguments and convincing yourself that he's rejecting you that what you're actually doing is pushing him away?"

"Why would I be pushing him away?"

"Perhaps so it won't be so hard to leave him."

Brian remained quiet, absorbing his mother's words.

"Let me ask you a question. You're angry with Sully now. Don't you still miss him even though he's right here with you?"

"Yeah, I do."

Michaela moved closer to place her arm around his shoulder. "Brian, despite my worries, I will support your decision. However, I need a promise from you in return."

He turned to face her. "What kind of promise?"

"I want you to make things right with Sully. You need to fix your relationship before you leave, for both of your sakes."

Brian thought for a few moments. "I'll try, but it's not all up to me. Pa has to…."

Michaela cut him off. "Sully and I have had our share of disagreements over the years and I know better than most what a formidable adversary he can be. However, I also know he doesn't want to remain angry with the people he loves. If you go to him and tell him what you've told me, I'm certain he will listen. In this case, Brian I do believe the resolution is up to you. Will you promise me you'll talk with him and make things right?"

"I will."

"Even if you believe he's wrong?"

"Even then," he replied, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips.

She gave him a look of profound gratitude. "Have you thought about what you're going to tell Sarah?"

"Exactly what I told you. I need to do this. I know I might lose her. I also know if that happens that I'm not prepared for the hurt I'm gonna feel. But, I'm not ready to get married. There are things I need to do before I settle down. So, if she's ready for marriage before I am, I gotta accept that." He knew the words he had been rehearsing in his head by heart, but as they left his mouth, he felt his heart constrict. In truth, he hoped she would wait for him.

"When did you become so wise?"

"From watching you and Pa I guess," he said with a light laugh. "I don't want you to worry. I'll be fine and I'll write all the time. Promise."

Michaela drew him into a warm embrace. "Brian, I'm so proud of you. But, you need to know that as your mother, I'll always worry, no matter how old you are."

He broke away from her and took her hand guiding her back toward the washtub. "Then why don't we finish the wash while I answer those questions you were asking. It should put your mind at ease."

* * *

Each day after attending the reservation school, Eyes Like the Sky received an education of a different kind. Away from the watchful eyes of the Indian Agent, he, along with several other boys, met with elders from the tribe to receive instruction designed to pass the Cheyenne traditions down to the next generation. Monday they heard stories depicting the oral history of the people. Tuesday they learned how and when to perform important traditional ceremonies. On Wednesday they were taught religion. The last two days were spent practicing survival skills including tracking, hunting, identifying edible and medicinal plants, and playing games such as arrow mark and tomahawk throwing, the coyote and the wheel game. The groups were intentionally kept small so as not to arouse suspicion among the reservation workers intent on eradicating the Cheyenne culture. As hard as the reservation system worked to remove the Indian from the child, the elders worked even harder to preserve what made them Cheyenne.

All classes were taught in Cheyenne. The children weren't permitted to address each other or any of the elders in English during the classes. Most of the children who attended spoke Cheyenne with their parents despite being forced to speak only English at school. Similar classes were taught by the women for the girls of the tribe. In addition to the same Cheyenne religion and customs education the boys received, they were also taught traditional cooking, sewing and skin ornamentation. Given her skill, Night Crane was asked to teach them how to make decorative moccasins, clothing, and robes.

Not all children on the reservation attended these classes. Members of the tribe did not share the same vision about preserving the Cheyenne cultural heritage. Some eagerly adopted white ways, believing it was the path to a better future for their children. They learned English, refused to speak Cheyenne, changed their religion, and sent their children away to boarding schools in the east. Even some Cheyenne chiefs sent their children away to school. Those fighting to preserve their culture reluctantly accepted this schism among the people. They, too, followed a different set of rules in the presence of the Indian Agent in order to be free to practice their traditions far from his disapproving eyes.

Eyes Like the Sky had been well-schooled by his mother. He spoke Cheyenne fluently. The stories, religion, and customs were all second nature to him. Unlike many of the children on the reservation, he had lived free for a time. He tracked and hunted with Running Wolf and he had seen buffalo in the north. Some of the children, especially those born at Darlington had never seen a buffalo. This firsthand knowledge of such a revered animal to the tribe earned him praise from the elders, boosting his confidence and serving as an antidote to his shyness.

Some days Josef would join in the instruction as part of his punishment from lying about the day Wolf died. His father selected the lessons he wanted Josef to participate in and ensured that Eyes Like the Sky would be there to help him. At first, Josef had been frightened to spend time alone with Indians he didn't know, all of whom spoke another language, so his father stayed with him, translating and coaching. But, after two lessons, he found, apart from the language, it wasn't that different from listening to his father tell Cheyenne stories, going with him into the woods or accompanying his mother to collect herbs for her medicine. In fact, Josef knew more than the other boys about medicinal herbs and plants. By the third lesson, he told his father he didn't need him there anymore. He wanted to be like the other boys, though he still needed Eyes Like the Sky to translate for him. Josef found the Cheyenne language too difficult and had only managed to learn a few words in the time they had been at the reservation. He enjoyed these lessons, especially the stories and the games, and he enjoyed spending time with Eyes Like the Sky. After a while, he completely forgot they were part of his punishment.

On this day, after their lesson about the Sun Dance, the boys gathered together to play arrow mark. They had recently learned how to play this game and were eager to show off their skills in a friendly competition before they headed back to their lodges for supper. The game, which was similar to darts, was played by throwing arrows at a mark. As the oldest boy present, Little Eagle threw first, establishing the mark at which all subsequent throws were judged against. He aimed his arrow and threw it a distance of about ten yards until it lodged into the ground with its feathers sticking up. The next boy stepped forward, raising his arm to carefully aim his arrow. When he let it go, it landed at a diagonal across the mark. All the boys clapped in appreciation of the good throw.

Next to throw was Eyes Like the Sky. He stepped forward to a chorus of encouragement and gentle chiding from the other boys. He, too, aimed his arrow and let go. The minute he let the arrow go, he wished he could pull it back. His wrist veered to the right and he knew he would miss the mark. He watched as it floated in the air and landed point down in the dirt next to the mark, but not touching it.

"Good throw," Josef said, encouraging his friend. He wasn't sure how to tell a good throw from a bad throw in this game. To him, his friend had thrown better than the other boy, but the others didn't agree.

"No it's not," Flying Elk replied in Cheyenne. "You're too far away, but nice try." He patted Eyes Like the Sky on the back in a friendly gesture.

"My throw was too far to the right. I felt it as soon as I let go," Eyes Like the Sky explained to Josef in English. "The closest arrow to the mark wins."

It was Josef's turn. He was the youngest of the boys and he knew he couldn't throw as far as they had. His hands trembled as he slowly approached the spot he would throw from. Shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun with one hand so he could see the mark, he lifted his right arm, and released the arrow with a hard throw. His main concern was not embarrassing himself too badly in front of the other boys. The arrow sailed into the air a good distance before landing flat on the ground three feet from the mark. The other boys snickered at the pitiful throw.

Seeing Josef's crestfallen face, Eyes Like the Sky walked over to him. "That was good for your first time."

Little Eagle joined them. "He's right. You're still little. We're only joking around."

Josef felt a little better. Still, he decided he would ask his father for help when he returned to the campsite. He didn't want to be the worst one at this game.

Flying Elk was next to throw. Effortlessly he threw his arrow so close to the mark it was hard to tell the feathers apart. The boys clapped and cheered, admiring the throw and declaring him the winner. "Let's play again," Flying Elk said. "I'll set the mark." He retrieved the arrows then threw his arrow to establish the mark for the second competition. This time Eyes Like the Sky won. Josef's throw improved, but he came in last again. The boys played this game over and over again until the slow graying of the sky told them it was time to return to their lodges.

* * *

"Tom, we got to keep mum. You know that," Live in Hopes read from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. The book, one of the most popular of the day, belonged to Josef. "That Injun devil wouldn't make any more of drow…drownding us than a couple of cats, if we was to squeak 'bout this and they didn't hang him. Now look a here, Tom, less take and swear to one another – that's what we got to do – swear to keep mum. I'm agreed, Huck. It's the best thing," he paused wishing it all made sense. He longed to know what all the words on the page meant. He could almost imagine the pride he would feel in knowing them and their meaning. It seemed all he could do was sound out the word without understanding how it connected to the other words around it.

"That's good! You've gotten so much better," Katie exclaimed. This being his third lesson, she was surprised by how quickly Live in Hopes learned new words. They had been sitting under a cottonwood tree in full bloom with yellow flowers away from the center of activity so as not to be seen by any of his family. Katie had donned her yellow dress for their lesson because Live in Hopes told her yellow was his favorite color. Having sworn never to wear it, she silently thanked her mother for packing it. Giving in to some unknown impulse, she decided to wear her hair loose enjoying how it bounced when she walked.

Live in Hopes also took a little longer than usual to dress. After rejecting a blue cotton shirt and a brown sleeveless deerskin top, he chose a beige deerskin one decorated with small turquoise stones across the shoulders. It was one of his favorites. At the end of the passage, he closed the book and handed it to Katie. "It is easier to follow the story when you read it," he said. "When I focus on sounding out the words I forget the story. Tell me what happens? Does Tom tell that it was Injun Joe that killed the doctor?"

Katie was on to his ploy. "Oh no, you won't get off that easy. We'll read it together. Besides, I wouldn't want to ruin it for you," she said, amusement in her eyes.

"Get off easy?"

Katie flashed him a sheepish grin. "Sorry. It's an expression. It means you can't avoid reading the story. It's a good story."

"Our stories are not written down," Live in Hopes told her as he leaned back against the cottonwood tree, his arms crossed behind his head.

Katie crossed her legs in front of her, smoothed her dress, and sat up straighter. "None of them?"

"None. They are told over and over again from generation to generation. My father told me that our stories need to be told or they die, and when they die, we will not be able to remember who we are or why we are here."

"Papa's been telling us Cheyenne stories for as long as I can remember. There aren't any Cheyenne in Colorado anymore. It was Pa's way of keeping them with him. Being here has helped me understand why our coming was so important to him."

"Which ones do you know?"

Katie lifted her head to the sky for a moment to pull their names from her memory. "Sweet medicine, the one about how the buffalo first came, uh…the seven stars, running ghost…and let's see…oh…on the way here he told us about the helper wolf," she finished, proud she had remembered so many.

Live in Hopes giggled. "That's wolf helper," he corrected, but he was impressed by her list. "You know many of our stories."

"As a little girl, I thought all children were told these stories. When I got to school, I was confused about why the other kids didn't know any of them. I think that's when I first began to figure out that my parents were different from other folks."

"Did that bother you?"

Katie drew her knees up and hugged them to her chin. She thought hard before responding. "Not really. I always felt special that my Ma was the town doctor. The Ma's of the other kids didn't save lives. But, I used to get mad at her when she couldn't spend time with me like the other Ma's did. Pa was away a lot for work, but when he was home, he did more with us than any of the other Pa's. It was when I got to school that I figured out they had different ideas from most folks. The other kids teased us because of how he dressed. It was confusing sometimes, but my Ma and Pa were real good about answering our questions and explaining everything to us. I wouldn't want any other folks."

"It probably makes you different from other girls your age," he said, knowing that to be true even though he had never met any other white girls before.

Katie chuckled as she thought about prissy Miss Margaret and Virginia, the most popular girl in school. "I'm not _anything_ like the other girls at school," she revealed tilting her head backward. She became quiet for a few moments. "Have you ever thought about writing your stories down? That way they will never be forgotten and others can read them."

Live in Hopes shook his head. "We believe a story must be told to be understood. The truth of the voice is as important as the truth of the words."

Katie stretched her legs out in front of her. "I could help you write some of them in English. It's important that they don't get lost if there aren't people to tell them."

"You'll tell them won't you? After we're gone."

It was a long moment before she answered. "I'll tell them and so will you," she said with a sweet smile.

Live in Hopes's face took on a playful expression. "Now it's time for your Cheyenne lesson."

Katie buried her head in her hands. "That's so much harder."

"Not to me," Live in Hopes said before releasing a hearty laugh. "Come on, repeat after me, Nehaeanahe."

_To Be Continued..._


	23. Chapter 23

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

For the past two nights, the Cheyenne had been performing the Massaum ceremony on the far edge of the reservation. In ancient times, this ceremony was performed over four nights and five days to bring food to the camps in times of starvation. Since the Dog Soldiers had been gone for two weeks hunting for food, the chief called for the ceremony to coincide with the day he expected would mark their successful return.

Although the Cheyenne at Darlington were indeed starving, they also performed this ceremony for another important reason. The elders performed it to teach the ancient ways to the youth of the tribe, hoping they would pass it down to their children someday. In the time of their grandfathers, the rituals were conducted by priests and important elders of the tribe. This time these roles were given to the boys approaching manhood as a way of instilling pride in being Cheyenne.

The Cheyenne took a great risk in performing such a long and important ceremony on reservation grounds. Government rules prohibited them from practicing their religion or performing their ceremonies in an attempt to hasten their assimilation into white society. What the government hadn't counted on was the length men would go, to preserve who they are. Fully aware of the danger, should they be caught, the elders gathered a green cottonwood trunk for the center pole of the Massaum lodge. The construction of the lodge signified the start of the ceremony. In ancient times the entire tribe would be gathered for the duration of the festivities. Since this rite was forbidden here, members of the tribe took turns coming out to the site to participate in the rituals. It was safer for all of them if their absence didn't cause suspicion with the Indian Agent.

At daybreak on the second day, Sully brought Josef to the ceremony. He was especially pleased that Brian had agreed to accompany them, too, even if it was only to observe the rituals. Dorothy joined them as well, partly out of journalistic interest, but also to silently observe Cloud Dancing with the intent of discerning the nature of his relationship with the young woman. Running Wolf and his family were there also. Sully and Michaela thought it best if she remained at the reservation tending to the sick so as not to arouse the suspicion of Agent Miles. She planned to visit Little Sparrow who was improving under her tender care and with her medicine of nutritious food. Katie took the opportunity to secretly meet Live in Hopes again to help him with his English.

The second day of the Massaum ceremony was among the most important. It was the day they raised the lodge and placed sacred objects inside. During his time at Darlington, Running Wolf had earned the trust of Cloud Dancing and many of the tribal elders. He knew some of this trust derived from his wife's status as Black Kettle's niece. Black Kettle still retained his high status among the elder Cheyenne, most of them descendents of his band. But, Running Wolf also believed he deserved some of the credit for the way he conducted himself since arriving at the reservation. The time had come for what he hoped to be his moment of complete acceptance. Running Wolf stepped forward, urged on by the encouraging eyes of his wife and son, and mirrored by Sully and Cloud Dancing.

"Chief Strong Bow," Running Wolf began in Cheyenne, his anxiety rising as he saw all eyes were upon him. To calm his breathing, he sought the comforting eyes of his wife, warmed by the love he saw shining from them. "I would like to present a sacred article for the lodge." He finished by handing the chief the shield protected by a deerskin cover.

The chief carefully began to unveil the article. When the object was revealed to him, he sharply drew in his breath and his hands started trembling. "How do you come to possess such an artifact," the chief asked in Cheyenne, holding the shield up for all to see. There was an audible gasp among those who witnessed the presentation.

"I found it at a battle site when I was out hunting. I knew it was valuable so I guarded it until I could return it," Running Wolf explained in Cheyenne. "I didn't know exactly where it belonged until I met Night Crane." He shifted his gaze in the direction of his wife and smiled. She returned his smile, her eyes shining with pride.

The chief laid the shield on the ground and placed Running Wolf's large hands in his weathered, frail ones. "We have so few items left. This discovery is very important to us. Words fail to fully express our gratitude."

Running Wolf was moved by the chief's emotion. For the first time in quite a while he knew he had done something worthwhile. Perhaps this _was_ the start of a new life. "The honor is mine. Please know that I could not be more pleased that it is back where it belongs."

"Now that the shield has returned, it will protect us from what is yet to come," Chief Strong Bow said. "Please place it in the lodge. You have earned that honor."

Eyes Like the Sky felt a surge of pride for his father. His mother explained the significance of the privilege the chief had bestowed. It made him feel important to have such a respected father. So far, the boy liked living here. From some of the adults, even his parents at times, he sensed anger and resentment, but to Eyes Like the Sky, this was the most welcoming place he had ever lived. It had its hardships, but he found he didn't mind going to school, and for the first time in his life, he had friends. Unlike Indian children he knew in the north, the children here didn't seem to mind that he was half white. He guessed it was probably because there were other children just like him, children whose fathers were white soldiers. His parents also seemed respected. They were not treated as outcasts as they had been in some of the other places they had lived.

"Thank you," Running Wolf replied, his voice catching with emotion. He knelt down and lifted the shield from the ground, holding it as delicately as a newborn baby. With a backward glance toward his family, he entered the lodge.

Brian watched the scene before him, humbled and moved. He realized that Sully had been right about the hope that could be found in these traditional ceremonies. When he observed the demeanor of the people around the reservation, they appeared lost and listless. But here, those same people were alive with energy and enthusiasm. It was as if, in these sacred rituals that had been passed down for generations, they knew who they were and that security emboldened them. Brian wondered if, in time, they would adapt to white society while continuing to maintain the uniqueness that made them Cheyenne. He continued to believe such a melding of cultures offered the greatest hope for their survival.

Josef sat in his father's lap leaning against his chest, confused by what he had seen. His father had translated all the words for him and tried to explain the ceremony, but he didn't understand what was so important about a shield. After Running Wolf left the lodge, Josef was again puzzled when two boys placed four mounds of dirt outside the entrance. He watched as they sprinkled two mounds with black paint and two with red paint. He listened as his father told him that the mounds represented the four hills upon which the earth rested and in which dwelled the spirits who watched and held up the earth. Josef didn't have the heart to tell his father he had no idea what any of that meant.

An even bigger mystery was how building this lodge and painting piles of dirt was going to bring food for everyone. About the only thing the little boy understood was that Eyes Like the Sky's father was respected. That meant his friend would be all right when he and Katie left to go home. Thinking about how much he liked Eyes Like the Sky and how much he would miss him and the other boys when they returned home, he finally figured out why his father had gotten so angry with him when he and Luke had played cowboys and Indians. At this sacred ceremony, in the presence of the tribe, Josef silently vowed never to play that game again.

Sully held Josef in his lap, his arms encircling his waist. He felt profound joy at being able to share a Cheyenne tradition with his son. Even though Sully knew his son didn't understand much of what he saw, he felt the significance of the ceremony would have a lasting impact on his son, as it once had on him. He was also pleased this trip seemed to have accomplished what he hoped it would for his children, for them to see the Indians as people, like any other people.

After the boys had sprinkled the paint on the mounds of dirt, they dug a shallow trench. Then another young man carried out a skull and placed it into the trench. Josef gasped when he recognized the boy with the skull as Brave Bear, the one who nearly scalped Katie. Though Josef was more comfortable around most of the Cheyenne children by now, he was still intimidated by Brave Bear. The older boy always seemed angry and mean.

Sully tightened his hold on his son. "It's all right," he whispered. "It's a buffalo skull," he said, misinterpreting Josef's fear. "They bury the skull to symbolize the buffalo's first appearance on earth." Sully went on to explain the buffalo's significance to the Cheyenne.

* * *

Brian couldn't sleep. Between the hot air that stubbornly refused to cool and his mounting anxiety about how to approach his father, all he could do was toss from one side of his bedroll to the other, his body coated in sweat. In the distance he heard the faint notes of a songbird welcoming the dawn. He took the sound as his cue to get up. Though the sky was still dark, he rose to his feet, abandoning any last thoughts of sleep. As he walked from the campground toward the river, he wished it would rain. He hadn't wished for rain this hard since the Thanksgiving after they returned from Boston that first time. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Sully seated on the other side of the campground with his legs crossed and his eyes closed, alone in his thoughts. Knowing how Sully valued his solitude for pensive reflection, Brian wasn't sure how he'd react to being disturbed. At the same time, with everyone asleep, this seemed to be a good time for them to talk.

"Pa," Brian whispered, tentatively moving closer to him.

Sully opened his eyes, surprised to see his son standing in front of him. "Brian, what ya doin' up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Same here."

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. "I enjoyed the ceremony yesterday," Brian said, realizing how trite that statement sounded, but unable to think of anything else to say. The tension that hung in the air was almost as oppressive as the heat, and Brian knew he had only himself to blame.

"It was nice," Sully replied, unable to endure another argument. His sleep had been disturbed by thoughts of the situation in which he found the Cheyenne. Before coming here, he thought he had prepared himself for the conditions on the reservation, but looking back, he realized that thinking about what it was like from the comforts of his home in Colorado Springs and actually seeing it here at Darlington were very different realities. Michaela had been a lifesaver to them, literally. She worked tirelessly with Cloud Dancing tending to the sick. Sully wanted to do his part. He had been up most of the night trying to think of other ways he could be of use to the Cheyenne before they returned home. Nothing of significance had come to mind. The Cheyenne were doing all they could to survive under difficult circumstances and Sully was at a loss to come up with an idea they hadn't tried. Now with Brian standing before him, he knew he lacked the strength to endure another assault on his choices and beliefs.

Sully's terse reply stung. Feeling unwelcome, he considered turning and walking away. Instead, as their silent gulf expanded, Brian continued to stand. Silently acknowledging that he had brought them to this point, he knew he needed to stay and repair the damage. "So what happens between the second and the last day?"

Sully wasn't convinced Brian was actually interested in the ceremony, but it was clear he was genuinely trying to talk with him. "They perform rituals. They smoke the pipe, paint the buffalo skull and create a yellow wolf effigy. They try to do each step exactly as it's been done for generations. The Massaum ends with a great celebration of dancing and hopefully the deliverance of a feast. Some people call it the crazy dance."

Brian rocked back on his heels, hands in his pockets. "Do you believe there'll be food?"

Sully turned his head to watch an arch of arrow-straight rays shoot from the unseen sun barely peeking up out from the horizon. To the west, deep yellow and gold clouds glimmered in the reflected light. "I hope so. Cloud Dancing says there's a good chance the Dog Soldiers will be back by then."

"It's remarkable they can celebrate like that living here."

Sully turned back to his son. "Don't ya see, Brian, their traditions…religion…it's all they have left."

"I'm starting to understand that," Brian replied, lowering his voice to nearly a whisper. He took several deep breaths to settle his churning stomach. "Pa…can we talk?"

Studying Brian's expression for a moment, Sully rose to his feet then brushed the dirt off his buckskins. "Sure. Let's walk a ways. No reason for anyone else ta be up yet." They walked side by side in the direction of the river, neither one saying a word. Ahead of them the sky was brightening and glowing, as if to offer a promise for a new beginning. Sully sensed Brian had something on his mind and he hoped it might explain the tension between them these past few months. Even though the deafening silence widened the gap between them, he decided to wait for Brian to begin.

Brian's heart was beating rapidly and he knew it was now or never. "For a while now I've been thinking about what I want to do next. I've been restless at the Gazette. It was time to move on. At the same time I was confused about the right thing to do."

"Growin' up's confusin' at times. Ya wanna tell me what's got ya mixed up?"

Brian shook his head. Noticing Sully's disappointment he went on. "I _was_ real confused, but things are clearer now. I've made a decision." He paused to garner the courage to utter his next words. "As I was figuring it all out I kinda…well…I took my frustrations out on you. What I wanna say Pa is I'm sorry. I'm real sorry for how I've been acting lately."

"It's been tryin'," Sully replied in a low voice. He feared saying any more might unravel their fragile truce.

"I didn't wanna fight all the time. Honest. I see now that I was pushing you away."

"Why?"

Brian paused in his steps and sat down on the edge of the river. "I've been trying to make sense of it. The best I can figure out is that I needed to find ways to be different from you. My whole life I looked up to you, tried to be just like you. I wasn't sure who I was. I needed to figure that out. I suppose doing that meant tryin' out ideas that were the exact opposite of yours."

Sully sat down beside his son, realizing that Running Wolf had been right. Brian had been trying on different robes. He placed his hand on his shoulder. "Brian, you are your own person. Ya always have been. Sure, we think alike 'bout some things, but we're different, too. You wanted the train to come to Colorado Springs when I didn't. You've seen and done things I never did like goin' ta college and livin' in Boston. You're growin' up in a different time. It makes sense that you'd see things different from me. Your ma and me, we don't agree 'bout everythin', but we make it work. No reason the same can't be true for us." He paused to study Brian's expression returning his hands to his lap. Now it was his turn to reveal the truth of his feelings. "It's been hard arguin' with ya. I began ta think all my mistakes had driven us apart. That you lost respect for me."

Brian trembled in guilt. All this time he thought his father didn't respect him. The irony was obvious. In his fear, Brian had made his father feel the very thing he was most afraid of - rejection. "Pa, I haven't always understood the choices you made and there are things we disagree about, but I never once stopped respecting you. Never. I'm sorry it felt that way. I thought you didn't respect me."

"Brian, we may disagree 'bout some things, but I'll always respect ya. I love ya."

"I love you, too. Pa, there's no one I respect more than you. One things for sure, I'll never know a better man."

Sully was moved by his words. "I've made my share o' mistakes."

"Most of them were for the right reasons."

"At the time, I thought so."

"You always told me that a man can only do what he feels is right at the time. Sometimes things don't work out as planned. I expect I'll make my share of mistakes." Brian hesitated. There was something else he needed to admit to his father. "You were right about the programs on the reservation."

"How's that?"

"Agent Miles showed me the school, the farm, and the other skills being taught. The school is less about teaching them what they need to know than about stripping them of what it means to be Indian. And, you're right that they're being set up to fail as farmers. Agent Miles' idea for them to raise cattle is a good one, but he hasn't gotten the government's support yet. I still think it's good to give the Indians options for the future, but they're goin' about it all wrong. I agree with you that it can't happen now, but maybe someday the government will give them more of a voice in running the reservations."

It felt good to be talking with his son again in an easy, familiar way. Neither one of them had to guard their words, afraid to set the other off. "Brian, we're not as far apart as you might think," he said, a faint smile on his lips. "I'm not against 'em learin' English or subjects. I know they can't stay hunters and warriors forever. They have to change like we all do. I'm not against a Cheyenne becomin' a teacher or goin' ta medical school someday if that's what he wants. What I'm tryin' ta fight against is strippin' 'em of who they are ta do it. It ain't bad ta be Indian. We don't want 'em ta think it is."

"I know it's not bad to be Indian."

Sully lovingly patted Brian on the back. "See, we agree more than we don't. Though I don't see how right now, maybe the reservations can change for the better." The two sat for a few moments in companionable silence, happy to have put the tension of the past few months behind them. "Ya wanna tell me 'bout this decision of yours?"

Brian turned slightly to face his father. "I decided that when we get home, I'm gonna travel for a while."

"A while?"

"At least a year."

"Go on," Sully said, apprehension in his voice.

Brian was fully facing him now. "If I'm going to use my writing the way I want, to influence the way people think about things, I need to see more and know more. I need to see how things really are and try to make sense of them," he explained, his voice reflecting his commitment and excitement. "Lately I've been thinking about life as one huge jigsaw puzzle. Each time I think I've got a part done, I find a few more pieces that change the picture. Before I got here, I thought we just hadn't found a way to make the reservations work right. Being here makes it clear no one wants them to work right. You tried to do it at Palmer Creek, but everyone was against you. Taking away a man's freedom can never be made right. I see that now. I still hope it can change someday. But, this trip has shown me that I can't learn what I need to know sitting in Colorado Springs."

Sully felt a surge of pride in his son. "For what it's worth, I think you're makin' the right decision. That don't mean it's gonna be easy ta say goodbye, cause it won't."

"That's what's been so hard," Brian admitted, huge relief washing over him at Sully's acceptance. "I've known for a long time that I needed to do this, but I couldn't imagine not seeing you and Ma or the kids every day. I didn't wanna leave Sarah, still don't. I don't want to leave any of you, but I can't stay. This is something I need to do. I got mixed up and started thinking it would be easier to leave you if I was mad at you."

Sully chuckled. "I'm not gonna miss you half as much when you're gone as I did these past few weeks."

"I missed you, too." The tension and doubt Brian had carried around these past few weeks melted away in their easy, father and son dialogue. "Remember what I said when the train came?"

Sully shook his head.

"I said I wanted to go off to see different places, but the good thing about the train is that it doesn't just go places, it comes back, too. No matter where I go, I'll always come home, Pa."

"I know ya will, at least for visits." Sully felt a lump in his throat at the thought of saying goodbye to him. "Your Ma's not gonna take this news well."

Brian lowered his head to the ground. "I already told her."

A look of surprise spread across Sully's face. "Ya did?"

"She's been easier to talk to lately," he admitted sheepishly.

"How'd she take it?" Sully was even more surprised that Michaela had managed to keep this from him.

"She was worried at first, but after she heard me out and understood my reasons, she's behind me. She had one condition."

"What's that?"

"That I make things right with you before I go."

Sully brought Brian into an embrace. "Your ma's a smart lady." Brian hugged his father tight, as tight as he ever remembered holding him since he had grown taller than him. "Brian, ya don't wanna finish that puzzle. The journey's in findin' the new pieces."

* * *

It was the fifth and last day of the ceremony. Sully had been doing chores around the campsite all morning to burn off his restless energy. In a little while he would bring his family to watch the end of the Massaum ceremony with him. He couldn't wait. For as long as he could remember, he wanted them to share in the Cheyenne customs he held dear.

"Ya ready?" Sully asked Michaela. He stood beside her as she placed some food and medical supplies into her saddle bag.

Michaela looked up at him with an absent, worried expression. "Yes, but I don't know where Katie is."

Sully's heart sank at the expression on her face. At the same time, he thought he heard her say yes. Momentarily confused, he finally registered the full meaning of her words. "What do ya mean? She was right here a few hours ago." His eyes scanned the area of their campground for their daughter.

"She told me she needed to do something and she'd be back in time, but Sully that was over an hour ago."

Sully placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Do ya know what she had ta do?"

"No, but lately she's been going off on her own." Michaela stopped and thought about how pleased she was that Katie seemed to be enjoying herself so much on their trip. Knowing her daughter had found activities to engage her made Michaela feel less guilty about spending so much of her time tending to the sick on the reservation. Josef, too, seemed to enjoy playing with Cheyenne children or going off with his father.

Sully also thought about his daughter's behavior lately. He had been disappointed that Katie hadn't wanted to accompany them to visit with Cloud Dancing or to attend the second day of the Massaum ceremony, but he didn't push her. Now he wondered how she had been spending her time. Sully reached for Michaela's hand and together they walked toward Josef.

"Joe, do ya know where your sister went?" Sully asked when he and Michaela reached their son. Josef was drawing in the dirt with a stick outside the tent he shared with his sister.

Josef looked up at his parents. "She's probably with that boy," he said, a hint of resentment in his tone.

"What boy?" Michaela asked, glancing at her husband in confusion. "Do you mean Eyes Like the Sky?"

"No. Eyes Like the Sky is at the Indian ceremony with his folks," Josef replied as he turned back to drawing in the dirt. "Aren't we goin', too," he said hopefully.

Sully crouched down to face his son. "We're all supposed ta go to the last day o' the ceremony, but we gotta wait for Katie. Do you know where she is?"

Josef was annoyed with his sister. He wanted her to play with him, but she left him to go be with a boy. It was fun playing with Eyes Like the Sky and the other boys, but he also wanted to spend time with Katie. First, he had asked her to come watch him play the kicking game. After he scored a point, he searched her out, expecting to see her smiling and waving, but instead he felt a stab of pain when he saw she had her back to him. Then yesterday, he wanted them to go fishing by the river, but she said she had something to do. He knew she was going with that boy. "I don't know where she is," he finally told his parents digging his stick into the dirt with force.

"She told me she had something to do. Do you know what it was?" Michaela asked, surprised by her son's apparent anger toward his sister.

"I told ya, she's probably with that boy," Josef said.

"What boy?" Michaela asked again?

"One of the boys who…" Josef caught himself. He had made a promise not to tell.

"Who did what Joe?" Sully was concerned he was hiding something again. "Ya gotta tell us what ya know."

Just then Michaela noticed Katie walking toward them, an Indian boy at her side. Unlike most of the other boys she had seen on the reservation, this one was dressed from head to toe in traditional buckskin clothing. Michaela reasoned that he dressed this way today for the ceremony. As she watched the two come closer, she thought she saw something familiar in his eyes. She brushed off the thought, returning her mind to her daughter's secretive behavior of late.

Sully rose to his feet and approached his daughter. "Katie, where ya been? We're gonna be late.

"I brought someone to meet you," she said choosing her words carefully since her parents had already met him.

Both Sully and Michaela stepped closer to their daughter and her friend. Josef joined them, too, not wanting to miss anything. Sully thought he recognized the boy from his trip up north almost two years ago, but he wasn't certain.

"Mama and Papa, this is Live in Hopes."

Michaela stood in silent shock. Sully hardly recognized him. He had grown a foot taller and filled out since he had last seen him. Standing before him now, it seemed hardly possible that this boy had once been the tiny baby he cradled in his arms on that horrible day more than eleven years ago. Michaela, too, thought back to that time. Her thoughts drifted to the day she handed the baby to Cloud Dancing and told him the name she and Sully had chosen for him. _Could he truly be standing right in front of me?_

Even Josef was surprised by this revelation. He stared at the boy remembering all he had been told about him. In his mind Live in Hopes was a baby. _How did he get to be taller and older than me? _His sister's actions over the past few days were starting to make sense. Still, he wished she had brought him along.

"I wanted to thank you for saving my life," Live in Hopes said to Sully. He glanced at Katie to be sure he said it right. Her beaming smile told him he had.

Sully clasped his arm. "You had a lotta folks lookin' out for ya," he said, his voice catching with emotion.

Michaela felt overwhelmed. Placing her hand on Sully's back, she spoke to the boy. "We are so overjoyed to see you again." It was one of the rare occasions where words failed her.

Sully and Michaela stood just staring at him for several long moments, each of them reliving the memories of his early life. Then Live in Hopes reached out to hug the two people he had heard about all his life. There weren't any words to convey what they meant to each other so the three of them lingered in an embrace for several moments.

Sully was the first to pull back wiping an unshed tear from his eye. "We'd like ta talk with ya, but we're already late for the end of the Massaum.

"I am to meet my family there. I go with you," Live in Hopes said. "We will talk later."

All five of them arrived at the ceremony after the dancing had begun. Live in Hopes left to join his family, but not before promising to visit their campsite again soon. Dorothy and Brian had arrived earlier as they both wanted to speak with several of the Cheyenne for articles they were writing. Running Wolf and his family were already seated by the side of the lodge engrossed in the festivities. Michaela, Sully and Katie joined them on the ground.

Josef lingered behind. He was mesmerized by the two Indians dressed in wolf skin, dancing, one yellow and the other gray. The gray fur on the dancing man resembled Wolf's coat. Looking at the gray and white fur caused him to ache inside from the knowledge that Wolf would never be with them again. Not a day passed that he didn't think of Wolf, of what had happened to him, and wished he were here. Every day he wondered whether Wolf was still mad at him for getting him killed. Noticing Josef straggling behind, transfixed by the man in the gray wolf skin, Sully rose and walked toward his son. Knowing what was on his mind, he lifted him into his arms, whispered words of sympathy into his ear, and carried him to the rest of his family. Sully settled Josef on his lap to watch the dance, his wife and daughter on either side of him.

Dorothy tried to keep her eyes focused on the dance, but they kept drifting to steal glances at Cloud Dancing. He was standing with the chief and several other important members of the tribe engrossed in the display before them. She also tried to spot the woman she had seen him with five days ago now, but she didn't appear to be here. Gradually she allowed her eyes to drift once more in Cloud Dancing's direction. This time he was looking at her and for a moment their eyes locked. All at once Dorothy felt a torrent of memories rise to the surface. Startled by the sudden intensity of the images, she looked away, aware of what she needed to do.

The wolves were joined in the dance by men representing foxes, elk, and white tailed deer. Others joined in the dance acting like clowns, causing Josef to giggle. Sully circled his arms around his son, resting his head lightly against Josef's as he watched men dressed as buffalo join the dance. Soon the animals were joined by hunters. A large piece of deer meat hung from the lodge pole. It had been placed there by the Dog Soldiers upon their return. On the fourth leap into the air, a fox dancer grabbed the meat from the pole, signifying success on the hunt. Traditionally, all the dancers would have led a procession to the river to end the Massaum ceremony. Since that was too dangerous, it was substituted with a procession of dancers circling the lodge. The Cheyenne danced late into the night as the tribe and their guests feasted on deer meat.

Running Wolf squinted into the flecks of light from one of the campfires, watching the shadows dance and flicker, feeling more content than he had been in a very long time. He wasn't aware that, across the flames, his every move was being watched by the Indian dressed as a yellow wolf.

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you, as always, for reading and for reviewing! _


	24. Chapter 24

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

It had been almost a week since Dorothy saw Cloud Dancing with the young Cheyenne woman. During that time, her curiosity about the nature of their relationship intensified. When she could no longer quiet the questions echoing in her head, she abandoned her self-imposed exile and began spending more time at the reservation. Only by observing their interaction, could she amass the necessary evidence to tell her what they were to each other. However, the more she saw of Cloud Dancing, the more perplexed she became. It was apparent they didn't share a lodge, nor did they spend a great deal of time together. Yet, when Dorothy saw them together, she couldn't deny they shared a connection. Despite searching for clues to the contrary, she had concluded that they were romantically linked, and she wondered if Cloud Dancing had fathered the child she was carrying.

With each passing day, Dorothy experienced an ever-increasing urge to speak with him. As hard as it was to admit, Michaela had been right. It was foolish to have traveled all this way to visit him, only to turn around with no more than a few words passing between them. The regret would be too hard to bear. She didn't want to return home without talking to him, and she hoped they could still be friends. Having come to the end of their time at Darlington, Dorothy knew she no longer had time to waste.

Dorothy left the campsite early in the morning, after explaining her plan to Michaela. She was no longer nervous or worried about how Cloud Dancing might react. After spending the past few days mourning the death of what she had once shared with him, she realized she had nothing to lose. By avoiding her, and acting as if she were invisible, Cloud Dancing had hurt and rejected her more than she ever thought possible. There wasn't anything else that could hurt her now. Unafraid of the consequences, she was ready to speak her mind.

Cloud Dancing sat alone outside his lodge with his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. It was in the quiet, reflective dawn hour that he noticed Dorothy stridently heading toward him, wisps of her fiery red hair falling around her face. He was surprised to see her heading in his direction. The increased frequency of Dorothy's visits to the reservation, and her attendance at the Massaum ceremony, had not gone unnoticed by him. However, when she made no attempt to speak with him, he took it as proof of a mutual acceptance of the futility of their relationship. Watching her now, he wondered why she had come to Darlington in the first place.

So much had changed for him since he opened his heart to Dorothy. Their connection began when he reluctantly agreed to be interviewed for a book she intended to write about him. Her pledge to burn the book if he found it objectionable showed such courage and confidence that he couldn't refuse. Over time, what started as collaboration grew slowly to friendship and later to love. Cloud Dancing had even convinced himself that a liaison with Dorothy offered the best hope for his people. Together, his voice and her words would change the tide of public opinion, leading to a different destiny for the Cheyenne. Instead, the battles with the Army intensified and more Cheyenne died. Eventually, he came to accept that their relationship was impossible. That truth led him to the more crushing realization that he had abdicated his responsibilities for far too long.

It had shocked and unnerved him to see her arrive with Michaela and Sully. He dealt with the emotions it brought to the surface in the only way he knew, by ignoring her. At first, it had been easy to pretend she wasn't there, since their paths rarely crossed. Now, with her constant presence on the reservation, Cloud Dancing felt a weakening in his resolve. Despite his best intentions, he found himself seeking her out with his eyes more than he should, and when he found her, he would let his gaze settle on her longer than necessary or appropriate. At this moment, caught in the throws of a private war with his emotions, he steeled himself as she headed right toward him.

Dorothy stopped directly in front of him with her feet apart, hands on hips, and her head tilted slightly back in a defiant posture. "Cloud Dancing, I'd like to speak with you."

As he looked up at her, Cloud Dancing knew how a deer felt in the target of a bow and arrow. "Dorothy, now is not a good time. I am to meet…"

Dorothy cut him off. "Make time Cloud Dancing. I have been here for nearly two weeks and the whole time you've acted like I'm invisible. We'll be leaving in a few days and I won't leave without talking with you." Her sturdy resolve crumbled when she saw him looking at her as though she were only a memory. "Don't you know I came to see you? I thought…I thought we were friends."

Her voice was edged with more bitterness and hurt than he expected. Immediately, Cloud Dancing regretted his behavior. He had thought it would be easier for both of them if they simply remained separate. Hearing she would be leaving soon, and knowing he hadn't spent any time with her, filled him with remorse. Whatever their relationship was in the past, they were friends. Cloud Dancing was ashamed he hadn't remembered that until now. "We will talk. Not here." He glanced around the reservation, concerned about arousing unwanted attention. Cloud Dancing stood, and with a nod of his head, beckoned Dorothy to follow.

They walked silently across the reservation, stopping at the site of the Massaum ceremony, which now looked like an open prairie, the grass stiff and sharp in the fields. Above them, two birds flew high in the sky, and Cloud Dancing could not prevent his stomach from twisting in envy at seeing how they took their freedom for granted. A lone lodge was the only sign of the events of the past five days. "We will talk inside. It is cooler and we will not be disturbed."

Dorothy entered the lodge, which was now devoid of the sacred articles and skins placed inside the other day. With the blanket still spread out on the floor, Dorothy took a seat. Cloud Dancing sat across from her, his legs crossed in front of him.

She came to the point. "Ever since I arrived you've acted like I'm not here. Now, I want to know why."

Cloud Dancing had no answers to her questions. Finding one that would satisfy her now strained his mind. "I have not been ignoring you. Many of my people are sick and I have spent many hours with Michaela tending to them. There was also the ceremony," he explained.

His excuses left an aching and hollow feeling in her chest. Dorothy was certain the truth would have hurt less than these empty evasions. "I came on this trip because I wanted to see you again. I had hoped we could spend time together. You could show me what you're doing to make life bearable here."

Cloud Dancing studied the pattern in the blanket as he formed his next words. "I never wanted you to see me here."

"Why?"

"This is no place for a man."

"You're the same man you've always been. The man who cares about his people above all else, the man who's doing everything he can to keep your traditions alive for the future, the man…the man I fell in love with." Her eyes probed and searched him, seeking a soft place, but his eyes were flat and expressionless.

He tried to bury his memories deep so that his face would not speak. "I would have preferred to remember our time together unspoiled by present circumstances."

"Well, I wouldn't," she said, her voice so loud that it startled them both. "I don't want you to be just a memory, Cloud Dancing. I know we can't go back, but I was hoping I could be a part of your life now and into the future…as a…a friend…like Michaela. You've treated her better than you've treated me." By the subtle shift in his body, she knew she had struck a chord in him.

Cloud Dancing heard the truth of her words. Dorothy's arrival had rattled him. All this time he thought he was protecting her from seeing him a prisoner, and from learning about Two Voices, when in reality, he was protecting himself. He feared what being near her again might evoke. Even now, sitting across from her, this need in him was something he had forgotten about, something he thought he had buried forever. It was a surprise, and not a welcome one, that she could still move him like this.

The time for the truth had come. He knew, once she heard it from his lips, she would no longer want to be friends. "There is something I need to tell you."

"I think I know."

His eyes widened. "You do?"

"I've seen the two of you together," she said, staring at him, her expression blank. "I won't tell you it's easy to accept, but I am pleased you have found someone to share your life here." Those words were hard to say, especially when she was seated so close to him. Being here with him like this brought back familiar feelings. She longed for him to take her into his arms and tell her she was mistaken. Knowing she wasn't, she pushed the thought aside to continue. "I want you to be happy, Cloud Dancing."

Cloud Dancing saw the woman he had known. He put out his hand, reaching for hers. She placed her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. His emotions were in turmoil. All at once, doubts about his decision to leave Colorado Springs, buried deep beneath layers of duty and responsibility, were surfacing again. Seeing Dorothy again propelled him backward in time with a force that left him shaken. Seated before her, talking, had accomplished what he most dreaded. It filled him with a torrent of memories from their days together. After a time, he found his voice. "She is called Two Voices. We are to be married."

It was harder than she expected to hear her assumptions confirmed. "I am happy for you Cloud Dancing," she said, her voice catching in her throat.

"It is something I must do for the tribe," he weakly explained. "I desire children to carry on my work."

Dorothy withdrew her hand from his, knowing that was something she could never give him. "Looks like you got a head start," she quipped, attempting to lighten the mood.

Cloud Dancing realized what she must be thinking. "You do not understand. Two Voices' husband passed on. It is his child she carries. I am marrying her to take care of her child and to someday bring another child of my own into the world. The children are our only hope for the future."

"Do you love her?"

"I am very fond of her."

"I see."

"I believe we will be as happy as we can be living here."

"Then I'm glad for you Cloud Dancing. I truly am."

"Thank you."

"Since we're only going to be here a few more days, do you think we could take a walk tomorrow…as friends. I'd still like to hear about the work you're doing for…for my writing."

"As friends," Cloud Dancing repeated. "I would like that."

* * *

"Katie," Sully called. "How'd ya like ta go ridin'?" 

Katie sat on the ground with her legs crossed and her head in a book. Upon hearing her father's voice, she turned around. Her eyes grew wide with excitement when she noticed him leading a small chestnut mare toward her. "Where did you get her?" she asked, leaping up to stand beside the small horse.

Seeing her face light up at the sight of the horse was worth more than all the bartering he had gone through to arrange the horse for Katie. "I borrowed her from a friend of Cloud Dancin'. It's a nice mornin'. Thought we'd take a ride…spend some time together."

Katie absently stroked the horse's back. Her size and coloring brought to mind her own horse back home. "Can we go now?"

Sully chuckled at her fretful excitement. "Sure." He helped Katie mount the horse, assuring she was comfortable and secure.

With a bright, beaming smile, she trotted the horse alongside her father to where his horse was waiting. Sully climbed up on his horse and waved goodbye to Michaela and Josef, who were about to leave for the reservation. Noticing the pout on Josef's face at being excluded, Sully made a mental note to take him out hunting for supper later, just the two of them. After a final reassurance that Katie was ready, he flicked the reins and guided them away from the campsite toward the wide open plains.

Father and daughter had been riding along through the great sun bleached plains for over an hour. Grasslands stretched out in all directions, the tallest of them reaching to their knees. Though she preferred the tall mountains of Colorado to the flat grasslands of Oklahoma, riding here, with her father, nothing around them in any direction, made her feel like they were all alone in the wide open landscape. Sully, too, felt the peaceful solitude of the prairie drawing him in.

The further into the plains they rode, the soil began to take on a reddish hue. It was dotted everywhere with short clumps of bunchgrass, sagebrush, and blue gamma grass. They continued riding until the grass dropped away into a series of canyons. That's when Sully knew they should stop for a rest before turning around. Though Katie had become quite a good rider during this past year, he didn't want to take a chance that her inexperience might cause the horse to lose her footing on the uneven canyon trails. When they reached a bluff overlooking the plains, Sully pulled on the reins, stopping his horse. Following right behind him, Katie brought her horse to a halt.

"We'll rest here for a bit then head back," Sully said as he dismounted his horse. He helped his daughter to the ground, took her hand, and together they walked toward the edge of the bluff to take in the scenery below.

Katie lowered herself to the ground and looked out over the vast land trying to locate the reservation. "I've missed riding," she said, accepting an apple from her father.

Sully took a seat beside her. "We'll be goin' home soon. You can ride all ya want then," he said, taking a bite of his apple. He had mixed feelings about returning home. He had enjoyed renewing his bond with Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne. Despite all their difficulties, being with them again was even better than he expected, and he didn't know how he was going to say goodbye to Cloud Dancing this time knowing his future was so tenuous.

Spending time with the Cheyenne filled a need in Sully that no one fully understood, not even Michaela. This trip had been what he needed most, and he would always be grateful to his wife for suggesting it for him. Still, he knew it was time to go home. Michaela was looking forward to being back in Colorado, as was everyone else. Yet, whenever he thought about going home, he got a strange feeling that gnawed at him from deep inside. It was a feeling that something had been left undone. "Kates, have ya had a good time bein' here?"

"Yeah. I like getting to know the other kids." She paused and her face took on a somber expression. "Papa, why do they have to live here…like this?"

Sully swallowed hard. "When I first met the Cheyenne, they had their own land, there was plenty o' game ta hunt, an' they could take care o' their families. As more people moved west, the government took away their land and put 'em on reservations."

"It's not right," Katie said. The expression on her youthful face was so serious. "They're not that different from us."

"No, they're not." Sully put his arm around his daughter. "Katie, sweet girl, if this trip has shown ya that then it's all I ever wanted. For you and your brother ta see the Cheyenne as I see 'em. When ya hear teachers and kids at school tell ya the Indians are savages, you'll know different. You'll stand up for 'em."

She scooted closer to her father, leaning into him. "I know now why it was so important for you to bring us here. I'll stand up for them. I promised Live in Hopes that I'll keep learning their stories."

"Kates, you're spendin' a lot o' time with Live in Hopes. Ya wanna tell me what the two o' you been doin'?" Sully had finally broached the real reason he asked her to go riding today.

Katie edged out of her father's embrace and pulled back the hair that had fallen into her face during their ride. "Nothing much." She evaded the question as she concentrated on braiding her hair.

Sully noticed the abrupt change in her demeanor. He stifled a laugh at seeing his daughter exhibit the same habit as his wife when she wanted to avoid answering his question. "Ya must be doin' somethin'."

"We talk."

"'Bout what?"

She felt her father's steel blue eyes bearing down on her, demanding an answer. Katie promised Live in Hopes she wouldn't tell anyone about teaching him English. At the same time, she couldn't lie to her father. After several seconds of indecision, she figured out how to tell the truth without revealing her friend's secret.

"Netone'xovomohtahe," Katie said.

Not expecting to hear what he heard, Sully barely registered her words. When he figured out that Katie had asked him how he was, he was even more confused. Before he could answer she spoke again.

"Nehaeanahe."

"Why are ya askin' me if I'm hungry?" As he finished the question, it dawned on him. Katie didn't know this much Cheyenne before she got here. "He's teachin' ya Cheyenne."

"I was gonna surprise you."

"Ya just did."

"Are ya teachin' 'im English too?" It was a hunch, the confirmation of which came when he looked at the expression across his daughter's face. She looked just like she did when he caught her reading late into the night after she was supposed to be asleep.

"I'm not supposed to tell."

"Why not?"

"His parents took him out of school. They don't want him to learn English or to read. I've been helping him in secret."

Sully considered what she said for a moment. "Katie, that might not be the reason they took 'im outta school."

"Huh?"

"The school here makes 'em cut their hair an' change their clothes. It teaches 'em that it's bad ta be Indian. That they have ta reject who they are ta learn. His folks might not be against 'im learnin', just the way they do it here."

"It's not bad to be Indian."

"I don't think so either."

Katie turned in her seat to look directly at her father. "Please don't tell anyone, Papa. Please. I promised."

Sully reached out to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I won't tell anyone 'cept your Ma. She's been worried 'bout how secretive you been actin'."

Katie averted her eyes. "I didn't mean to worry anyone."

"Do me a favor," he said, reaching up to stroke her hair. "Talk ta Live in Hopes 'bout tellin' his folks. I don't think they'd mind you teachin' 'im. I know I'm real glad he's the one teachin' ya Cheyenne."

"He thinks they'll be mad. He really wants to learn Papa. He thinks it's his…" she searched for the word he had used. "…his destiny."

"Destiny?"

"He thinks you and Mama gave him his name so he could build a bridge between our people."

As they talked, Sully realized Katie had gained a newfound maturity on this trip. Though impressed by his daughter's growth and insights, his pride was tempered by a trace of melancholy. He wasn't anywhere near ready to let go of his little girl. Learning that the name drawn from Black Kettle's words had placed such a burden on the young boy, who had so little control over his own destiny, filled him with guilt. Everything had gotten worse for the Cheyenne since Live in Hopes had been born and Sully had to wonder if such a bridge was even possible any longer.

He placed his arm around his daughter again. "Katie, if there was ever somethin' you really wanted ta do, but ya thought your ma and me were against it, we'd want you ta talk ta us about it 'fore ya did it in secret. Do ya understand?"

Katie looked up into his eyes. "Yes."

"Don't ya think Live in Hopes' folks feel the same way?"

"I guess. But, what if you wouldn't let me do something I really wanted to do? What if it was the most important thing in the world to me and you wouldn't let me do it?"

Sully gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "If we came ta understand how important it was ta you, we would."

"You would?"

"Yep. When Brian was younger than you, all he talked about was flyin'. He wanted ta make a flyin' machine."

She giggled. "There's no such thing."

Sully chuckled at the memory. "That's what we told 'im, but Brian wouldn't give up. Your ma told 'im no each time he asked. She was afraid he'd hurt himself like the time he jumped out o' the tree. But, he never gave up. In time, she saw how much this meant ta Brian so she let 'im try."

"Did it work?"

"No, but each one flew a little farther. Will ya at least talk ta Live in Hopes 'bout what I'm sayin'?"

Katie nodded. "Papa, can I ask you something?"

"Anythin'."

Katie looked out over the prairie before speaking. "What does it mean to have a strong spirit?"

"I'm not sure I can put it into words. It's somethin' ya just know when ya see it. Your ma has one o' the strongest spirits I've ever seen."

"She does? What makes it strong?"

Sully's voice became soft and melodic at the thought of his wife. "She's brave, strong, and passionate 'bout things that matter. The first time I saw it was when she stood in front of a chargin' Army ta protect the Cheyenne. We were hidin' behind a tree an' the next thing I know she's up and runnin' right toward 'em, her arms in the air. I'd never seen anythin' like it."

"She did that?"

"Yep, and a lot more, too." Sully pulled his daughter close. "You're a lot like 'er, ya know. Your spirit's just as strong," he said then he kissed the top of her head. Katie nuzzled into his chest, her head tucked under his chin. At that moment she felt certain that no one in her whole life would ever make her feel as special as her father.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Michaela asked. Her hand was locked tightly in Sully's as he led her from the riverbank through the winding, narrow path of a red granite canyon. 

"You'll see," he replied, a hint of mischief in his tone.

In an effort to make sense of her husband's mysterious behavior, she became distracted by her thoughts, nearly losing her footing on the ragged edge of the canyon. "Will you at least tell me how much further we have to go?"

"Nope." He enjoyed playing this game with her.

"Why not?"

Sully stopped walking and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. His touch was warm and welcome. He moved even closer, so close that his lips were but a mere breath away from hers. "It's a surprise," he whispered before softly kissing her lips. "Stop frettin'. You're gonna like it."

Michaela could hardly remember a more relaxing or pleasurable day. She and Sully had set out in the morning with a blanket and some provisions, prepared to enjoy an entire day together. They rode into the tall grasses of the plains in the same direction Sully and Katie had gone the day before. Since arriving at the reservation, they hadn't had much time to spend with each other. During their stay here, Michaela had wanted to give Sully the freedom to spend as much time as he needed with Cloud Dancing. With their friend so far from Colorado, she knew he would not have many other opportunities to visit him. For her part, the needs of the Indians were so immense that she filled her time tending to the sick and teaching some of the women how to take preventive measures against disease. When she had a moment to relax, she spent it with the children, Night Crane or Dorothy.

With their time at the reservation coming to an end, Sully had been spending even more of his time with Cloud Dancing and Running Wolf. He often didn't return from the reservation until long after she had fallen asleep, only to head back before she woke. She missed her husband terribly, especially snuggling next to him at night, but she knew they would have time together when they returned home. In these last few days, she vowed not to rob him of a moment of time with his friends. So, it took her completely by surprise when, last night, Sully suggested they spend this day together, just the two of them. From the look in his eyes when he asked her, she knew he missed her as much as she missed him.

They stopped for lunch by the riverbank at the foot of a canyon that rose several hundred feet into the air. The water was clean and inviting, glistening in the sun. The clear water, on a cloudless day, provided a perfect mirror for the canyon and the trees along its edge. They took the opportunity to bathe and wash their clothes, and Sully convinced Michaela to let him wash her hair. When he was done, he allowed her to return the favor by washing his. As they sat in the heat of the midday sun, waiting for their clothes to dry, their bodies hidden from view by a light coverlet, they caught up on all they hadn't found the time to share with each other during the past few days.

Sully told her of his relief in having healed the tension with Brian. He revealed his pleasure in being able to share more of the Cheyenne with his son these past few days. Together they relished in Brian's continued growth and maturity, while discussing their excitement and concerns regarding his impending trip. When Sully shared the truth about Katie's secretive behavior, Michaela felt her heart swell with pride in her daughter.

They shared a laugh about Michaela being the last to learn of Cloud Dancing's upcoming marriage, and she chided her husband for having to hear about it from Dorothy. When she first learned the news, she was hurt and disappointed that Sully hadn't shared Cloud Dancing's secret with her. However, after confronting him last night, they talked it through, and she came to see that his omission didn't reflect a lack of trust in her, but his commitment to a friend. Michaela was even a bit relieved she hadn't known sooner because it would have been awkward to spend time with Dorothy without accidentally revealing the truth. This afternoon, after some teasing about how he could have kept that news from his wife, she assured him she respected the promise he had made to his friend. As the afternoon wore on, their talk turned to their fears of the future for Cloud Dancing, Running Wolf and the rest of the Cheyenne.

For most of the afternoon, Michaela sat with her naked body pressed against her husband's nude form, his arm protectively holding her close, the coverlet draped across their shoulders. As they talked, they would occasionally pause to share slow, soft kisses and tender touches. Unaccustomed to spending an afternoon unclothed, at first Michaela felt her modesty winning the battle against Sully's encouragement. However, the longer they remained in their private cocoon, the easier it was to relax, and she was surprised to find the freedom from clothes exhilarating. She loved the feel of Sully's body next to hers and the touch of the warm breeze against her skin. In this natural state, their conversation seemed more intimate and meaningful. As the hours passed, it became increasingly difficult to concentrate on his words. It had been over a week since she and Sully had been together as husband and wife and here, now, amid the loving caresses and sweet kisses, she knew it was only a matter of time.

Michaela's mind was waging a battle of conflicting emotions. Rarely had they found the time to spend hours alone together in conversation. She didn't want their dialogue to end. At the same time, her body, that had been growing warm from the proximity to him, was now raging with desire. It was torture waiting for Sully to take the initiative, and after a while, she didn't know why she was waiting.

She leaned over to kiss his chest as her hand roamed lightly down his side, pausing at a particularly sensitive spot. Sully responded by kissing the top of her head then resuming their talk. Perplexed, she tried another tactic. As she hooked her leg over his and ran her fingers lightly across his neck, she felt his body jerk. He startled her by rising to his feet, gathering their now dry clothes, and suggesting they be on their way.

Speechless, and feeling as if she had been dropped in a tub of ice cold water, she dressed quickly. She was flustered and embarrassed, and not at all ready to return to the campsite. Faintly, as if she were under water, she heard Sully say something about leaving the horses. There was someplace he wanted to take her on foot. His outstretched hand beckoned her, and when she placed her hand in his, her fluster turned to intrigue when she noticed a desire in his eyes that mirrored her own.

For the past twenty minutes, they had been climbing higher into the canyon. With every step, Michaela grew more curious about Sully's odd behavior. She couldn't figure out why he wanted to leave their cozy oasis on the riverbank, at the moment when she felt they were at the precipice of igniting their passion, to trek up the side of a canyon. When they turned the corner, Sully slowed his pace, stopping in front of a huge canyon wall that rose over two hundred feet above them.

The late afternoon sun bathed the wall in just the right light to bring out its colors. Before them was an explosion of orange, yellow, and deep rust, a great chromatic symphony. It looked as if a painter had spilled his colors down the side of the canyon, and years of wind and rain had blended them together in a dramatic display.

"Sully, it's incredible," Michaela gasped, awed by the spectacle of color.

"It sure is," he said, marveling at the mastery of nature's artwork. They stood transfixed by the wall for several minutes before Sully reached for her hand again. "C'mere," he said, guiding her inside a cave directly across from the wall. The cave's dark, cool interior contrasted sharply with the bright sunshine directly outside. The cave's ceiling was high enough for them to stand and it was at least 20 degrees cooler than their campsite. Sully removed a blanket from his satchel and laid it out on the floor. He gestured for his wife to sit down.

Michaela took a seat facing the opening of the cave so she could still view the colorful canyon wall. "I don't know what I'd rather do more, stay in here where it's cool or sit outside and look at the colors of the wall."

Sully sat down beside her. "We can do both. No one's expectin' us back 'til mornin'."

"Morning!" Michaela became alarmed. "Sully, we can't possibly stay here all night. Who will look after the children? What will…"

Sully brought his fingers to her lips, silencing her. "Ya think I don't know your concerns by now Michaela. Trust me. I've taken care o' everythin'."

"But…"

Sully leaned forward, placing a kiss on her mouth to keep her from talking. Trailing his lips along the side of her face, he breathed on the sensitive skin beneath her earlobe causing her back to arch. "Stop frettin'," he whispered. He pulled back to look into her eyes, hoping he had ended her protests. "Michaela, we've hardly had any time together since we got here. We're goin' home in two days an' I wanted ta get ya all ta myself for a day an' night 'fore then. Brian an' Dorothy are gonna watch the kids. No one's expectin' us back 'til mornin'. Do ya think ya can stop frettin' long enough ta relax an' enjoy it?"

The corner of her mouth turned up in a faint smile. "I think that depends on you." She framed his face in her hands. "You were rather obtuse by the river."

Sully choked back a laugh and scooted closer to her. "I can think of a few things you'll enjoy." He brushed her hair to one side as he tilted her head back, and leaned down to kiss her neck. He trailed soft kisses from her neck, along her throat, until his mouth claimed hers for a tender, leisurely kiss. It didn't take long for the day's pent up desire to rush forth in a dizzying tangle of mouths, tongues, and hands. They pulled away to catch their breath, collapsing into each other's arms. After his breathing calmed, he whispered. "I ain't dense." He paused to rest his forehead against hers. "With what ya were doin' ta me, if I'd stayed there one second longer, we never woulda seen this place."

Michaela lovingly caressed his face, the tips of her fingers tracing his cheekbones. "I do think I'll enjoy it here, after all." She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close. "I'm glad to have seen this place. How did you find it?"

He smoothed her hair with his fingers. "Cloud Dancin'. I wanted a private place no one knew about. We haven't had any real privacy since our last night at home. Figured it was time."

"Hmmm, I remember. So tell me Sully, does the entire reservation know about our rendezvous?

"Just Cloud Dancin', Runnin' Wolf, Night Crane, Dorothy, and Brian." He kissed the soft spot between her shoulder and her neck. "It don't matter who knows, Michaela. We're married."

Michaela grew uncomfortable. "Sully, there's a difference between knowing what happens from time to time between married people and our family and friends knowing that you and I have come to this place tonight for…for that purpose."

"From time ta time," he repeated, muttering under his breath. He was hardly able to suppress the smirk on his face or the laugh threatening to escape from his lips. "Is that why we're here?"

"Sully," Michaela chastised, poking him in the ribs. "I don't appreciate being mocked."

Sully grabbed her hand, raised it to his mouth and kissed her fingertips. "I'm not mockin' ya. I'm glad ta know ya wanna be with me as much as I wanna be with you." With his eyes locked on hers, he smoothed the stray hairs away from her face as he gently stroked her cheeks, letting his fingers linger on the fullness of her lips. "Don't worry 'bout other folks. They got their own lives. They ain't gonna be thinkin' 'bout us."

As his thumb gently traced the softness of her lips, Michaela began to relax and leaned into her husband, resting her head on his shoulder. In response, he brought his hand to her head, his fingers gently and sensually massaging her scalp. As if by silent mutual agreement, they shifted their bodies to gaze out at the wall through the cave opening while continuing to savor the gentle caresses as they held each other close. The dipping sun created shadows of different colors and shapes that danced along the colorful canyon. They remained content to watch the display of shadows and light until darkness smudged the colors into night.

Light from the gibbous moon seeped through the cave opening, casting their features in a gentle glow. Michaela turned in Sully's arms to face him, gazing into his eyes to silently communicate her desire. Letting her know he felt the same, Sully leaned forward to kiss her. What began as soft, slow kisses quickly erupted into a desperate hunger, as their mouths greedily sought satiety. Sully's heart was pounding as he lowered them both to the blanket, their hands touching and roaming their familiar terrain.

Michaela moved her hands under his shirt to caress his chest, her fingers toying with the brown curly hair. Then she brought her hands around his torso to massage the taut muscles of his back as she pressed his body against hers. Her hands grabbed the material of his shirt and she urgently pulled it up over his head, tossing it aside. Rolling on top of him, she brushed her lips against the hair-dusted skin of his stomach and chest. Moving back up to his neck and down again, she left a trail of kisses from his collarbone to his navel, occasionally teasing him with her tongue. Sully relished in her enthusiasm to give herself with complete abandon and was just as eager to give all he had to her until neither knew where she began, or he ended, or even where they found themselves.

Nimbly she undid the button on his buckskins and slid her hand under the waistband as he was easing her blouse from her shoulders. Sully could feel her struggling to slide his buckskins past his hips while he worked to remove her skirt. Tangled in material that stubbornly refused to cooperate, Michaela groaned into his chest from her burning need for them to be freed from their constraining garments. Sensing they weren't getting anywhere, Sully placed his hands over hers to stop their frantic movements. Then he rolled them sideways, took Michaela's hand in his and brought them both to their feet.

Placing his hands on her waist, he pulled her close to undo the fastener in the back of her skirt. It drifted to the floor and he helped her step free of the pool of material at her feet. Then he raised her arms over her head so he could remove her camisole. The garment discarded, he brushed his fingers along the side of her breast. Like the canyon before them, age only seemed to enhance her beauty. She still took his breath away. Her body's sensuous curves, the sweet smell of her skin, and her soft hair, curtaining him when she lay atop him, were all his undoing.

She watched as he lightly skimmed his fingers down the side of her body, sending heated sparks coursing through her. Then he completed what she had begun by shedding his buckskins. After all these years, she was still in awe of how beautiful his body was. The line of his back, the way his waist and hips narrowed, his slightly bowed legs, giving him fluidity when he moved, even his scars, because she knew their stories.

Sully moved toward her, his gaze locked with hers, as he brought his hand up to caress the bare skin of her shoulder. She melted into the warmth of his body. His breath warmed her neck, and as his hand found the small of her back she leaned further into him. He brushed his lips against hers several times before claiming her mouth for a lingering kiss. She felt his tongue against hers and brought a hand to his face, tracing his cheekbones with her fingers. He sighed in absolute surrender as he crushed her flush against his chest, both of them breathing rapidly.

With their arms wrapped around each other and their mouths engaged in a soulful rhythm, they knelt to the floor. Sully's hands roamed up and down the sides of her body before he leaned backward taking Michaela with him. No longer constrained by clothes, they hungrily touched and kissed one another, their hands in constant motion, not wanting to break their contact. In a culmination of desire, they joined together, experiencing once again the depth of the love that ran between them. Even in their heightened anticipation of being together again, the fulfillment always brought, along with the familiarity, a jolt of surprise.

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you all so much for reading and for all the great comments, both here and on the Forum. I appreciate all of your support more than I can ever fully express. _


	25. Chapter 25

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

Michaela and Sully lay with their limbs entwined, cocooned in an embrace, as sunlight stretched into the mouth of the cave lapping at their naked feet and ankles. They were awake, but quiet in each other's arms, the only movement between them was his fingers on her temple, gently stroking. Under her hands his chest was as hard as oak. Neither of them knew the last time they felt so unhurried and uninhibited.

Michaela was the first to move. Her arm had fallen asleep, and to ease the uncomfortable numbness, she repositioned it, shaking it to bring the limb back to life. She felt a rush of happiness as she gazed down at her husband, remembering how fully they had loved each other through the night.

Still groggy, Sully shifted his position in response to Michaela's stirring. He feared her movement signaled a desire to hurry their return to the campsite, something he knew was inevitable, but for which he wasn't nearly ready. It would be difficult to leave this place. Their time together had been far more incredible than he had ever anticipated when he first planned it. They had a rare opportunity to spend an entire day together, then, as night fell, surrender to each other in complete privacy, knowing they wouldn't be disturbed by one of the children or an emergency at the clinic.

Before Michaela, Sully never imagined that someone could love him so knowingly, with such tenderness and passion. It was out of their rich past and deep trust that it was possible for them to express themselves with a freedom he had never known before. More than novelty, it was their familiarity and profound connection that most aroused him. A small sigh of relief escaped from his lips when she lay back down beside him.

Sully propped up on one elbow, and smiled down at his wife. "Mornin'."

Michaela returned his smile, relishing in how always, upon awakening, he smiled at her. His smile could warm her as much as his touch. "Good morning," she replied.

Sully stretched his arms out to the side and moaned contentedly. "Ya sleep all right?"

"Yes," she replied, unable to contain the broad grin on her face. "Wonderfully."

Sully touched her hair, moving it back from her face, and kissed her fully on the mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. When they broke apart, Michaela spoke. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"You're welcome," he replied, leaning in again for a soft feather light kiss.

Michaela brought herself to a sitting position, curious about how the morning light on the canyon wall changed its colors. Sully sat up with her. For long, silent moments they gazed at the lighter shades of the golden hues. The cool early morning air chilled their unclothed bodies. Sully reached for the coverlet, draping it over them, and huddled closer together. To get a better view, Michaela shifted her body to the side, resting her feet across Sully's thighs. Unconsciously, he began massaging the soles with his thumbs.

"Your feet are cold," he whispered.

"They're warming up," she replied with a playful smile. She paused to consider possibly spoiling this morning by bringing up the subject they had so far avoided. "Sully, how do you feel about going home?"

"Back ta the campsite?"

"No. Home. We planned to leave the day after tomorrow."

Sully was quiet for a long time. "It's hard leavin'."

Michaela reached over to touch his leg. "I know it is. But, did the trip give you what you wanted?"

Sully leaned his head against hers and breathed deeply as he formulated a response. His fingers continued to stroke her feet, the movements idle, almost sensual. "It's been real good spendin' time with Cloud Dancin' again. I missed him even more than I remembered." He felt his wife gently caressing his temple, encouraging him to continue. "It was good for the kids. Katie and Josef made friends an' appreciate the Cheyenne."

"It was good for all of us," Michaela concurred.

"I'll miss Runnin' Wolf, too. In a short time, he's become a good friend."

"Sometimes you meet people and form an immediate bond. I felt that way about Charlotte. And, after we overcame some initial distrust, I believe it was like that for us with Running Wolf and Night Crane. Apart from Robert E. and Grace, there aren't any couples back home who share our values and what we want for our children."

"No, there aren't." His thumbs massaged her feet with long, slow strokes. "I wish it was easier ta visit with 'em."

"I do, too."

"You saved a lotta lives, Michaela. I wish…" he stopped.

"What is it?"

He remained quiet, staring out at the canyon wall. His fingers ceased their movements and he just held her feet in his hands. "I wish I could've found a way ta help 'em. Wish there was somethin' more I could do."

"Sully, I know you do, but it's enough to be their friend. Cloud Dancing believes they alone have to take charge of their future. How the Cheyenne survive depends on them."

"I know that's how he feels, but they need help."

"They need to help themselves."

"I have this feelin' I'm s'posed ta do somethin', only I don't know what it is."

"Could it simply be your frustration at your inability to change their lives?"

If only there were some motion or some sound to alleviate the ponderous stillness around them as Michaela worried about Sully and Sully worried about his Cheyenne friends. After a long while, he turned to face his wife. "I know we're goin' home Michaela. It's hard, but I know it's time." She kissed his forehead then pressed her forehead against his, where her lips had just been. "S'pose it's time ta head back ta the campsite," he said reluctantly.

Michaela wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "Do you think we could stay a little longer? I'm not ready to leave just yet."

Sully was surprised, but pleased by her request, especially since he wasn't near ready to leave either. In this place, alone together, the world was perfect. There was no hunger, death, cruelty, or injustice, just profound love and peace. "S'pose no one'll miss us for a few more hours."

She linked her fingers with his. He brought their joined hand to his lips for a kiss. Sully tilted her head toward him, leaned forward until his mouth touched hers. Then he lifted his mouth from hers and kissed the soft center of her palms in the same way he had kissed her mouth. Returning to her lips, he kissed her again. Michaela kissed him back, softly at first then deepening it with all the passion and love in her heart. Without breaking their contact, his arm sought out her waist and encircled it. The other hand slid down her spine to the small of her back pressing, urging her closer. In moments they were falling back onto the floor of the cave as he molded the contours of his body into hers.

* * *

The morning sky was overcast, threatening rain. A dense blanket of light gray clouds cooled the air, providing a welcome diversion from the monotonous daily staple of sunshine and blue skies. It hadn't rained for six weeks, and though the storm clouds didn't look capable of producing much moisture, they were greeted with hopeful anticipation. Running Wolf and his family sat outside their lodge enjoying the cooler temperatures, each pleasantly engaged in their own activity, but soothed by each other's company.

Running Wolf brought the blade of his knife across the smooth wood of the bowl he was carving. "Are you giving the girls a lesson today?" he asked his wife. "The deer the Dog Soldiers brought back should provide a good opportunity for them to learn how to prepare hides."

"No, I teach tomorrow. Some of the children have never been taught about all the deer gives us and the gratitude we owe the deer for giving his life so we may eat and stay warm." She drew a long piece of sinew through the side of one leg of the buckskin pants she was making. The deer carcasses had been divided among the families for their use in making clothes and tools. Night Crane had carefully softened the hide, using the deer's brains and fat and was now assembling the pieces with strands of sinew taken from alongside the deer's spine. After she finished the buckskins, there would be enough skin left over for a shirt and a garment for the baby.

"With the government providing their clothes, will they think it worth the trouble to make their own?" Running Wolf asked. He rounded the edges of the bowl with his knife.

"The government does not provide the garments our people wear. We must never lose the sense of accomplishment that comes from doing for ourselves." Night Crane tied off the end of the leg with the sinew, satisfied one was finished.

Running Wolf glanced curiously toward the game stationed between his two sons. Eyes Like the Sky had set up a checkers board between him and his brother. He borrowed the game from Josef so he could practice, having grown frustrated at always losing to one of the Sully children. New Promise lay in a basket across from him, oblivious to the game, but nonetheless entertained by his brother's facial expressions and the timbre of his voice.

Running Wolf watched his son alternate between moving black and red markers across the board with a sense of purpose. "Who's winning?"

Eyes Like the Sky gave his father a tolerant look, letting him know he hadn't missed his sarcasm. "I am!"

"He's not much competition," his mother gently chided. "Are you seeing Josef today?"

"I will meet him later. I'm finally going to beat him at checkers," Eyes Like the Sky said. He jumped his red piece over his brother's black one, capturing the round black marker.

"Is that what you're playing?" Running Wolf asked. He had watched his son's last few moves beginning to understand how the game was played.

"You want to play? I can teach you." Eyes Like the Sky was ready for some honest competition.

Running Wolf nodded, set his bowl aside, and moved opposite his older son next to New Promise. He repositioned the basket for better access to the board. Eyes Like the Sky explained the rules of the game then let his father make the first move. Their first few moves were tentative as each person tried to prevent their piece from being taken. Eventually they ran out of safe squares. Eyes Like the Sky took the first piece from his father. For the next several turns, they alternated capturing pieces from one another.

"Cloud Dancing asked me to serve on the tribal council," Running Wolf told his wife, pondering his next move.

"He did?" She was intrigued, but not entirely surprised. By now she had finished the second leg of the buckskins and was working on the waistband. "You are not Cheyenne."

Running Wolf jumped his piece over his son's, capturing two of them. "He and Chief Strong Bow thought I might lend a different perspective. They know I have chosen to live as a Cheyenne. A man often attaches greater value to what he chooses."

"Have you given him an answer?" Night Crane was proud of how well her husband had integrated himself into the tribe. He had always been seen as a leader, something that had gotten him into trouble in the past. It seemed as if he had truly left the unpleasantness behind to build a new life.

Eyes Like the Sky lifted up in his seat. "I got a king!" He triumphantly removed two of his father's pieces, landing on the far square. For that, he placed another piece on top of his and gained the ability to move backward as well as forward.

Running Wolf glanced at the board, weighing his options, since it was apparent he was losing. "I said yes."

Night Crane gave him a loving smile and reached for his hand to squeeze it. Life on the reservation was hard. Food was scarce, sickness took many, and it was difficult to live according to their cherished traditions. The hardships were enough to plunge an average man into despair, but Night Crane was happier than she had been in a long time. That happiness came from being reunited with those few from her band who had survived Washita, from the daily tasks of cutting open a rattlesnake and finding a baby squirrel in the undigested contents of its stomach or softening, tanning and sewing deerskin for buckskins or moccasins, and most of all from the contentment she saw in the eyes of her husband and her oldest son. For the first time, they both had finally found a place to fit in.

"What will you do on the council?" Eyes Like the Sky asked. He continued to capture and gather up his father's pieces.

"The chiefs from each band form a council to decide on important matters to the tribe. They decide such matters as when hunters will leave the reservation for food, the ceremonies to be conducted and how to work with the whites. The chiefs seek the council of others in the tribe to inform their decisions. These others include men of all ages and status along with women, each offering a different perspective that should be heard. I will listen and offer my views to the chiefs."

"How will you know what to say?" Eyes Like the Sky asked.

Running Wolf accepted defeat in their game of checkers and began to set up the board for a rematch. "I will listen, talk among my family and friends, and offer my point of view."

"Your father is a wise man," Night Crane added with a proud smile.

"I know, but how will you know what's right?" The boy felt the weight of the responsibility his father had just accepted.

"I won't always be right. I will speak from what I believe to be right. It's all we can do," Running Wolf explained. "You and your mother will help me." He gave his wife a smile filled with appreciation for her unwavering support.

Night Crane glanced out toward the path that led to their lodge as a light misty rain began to fall. Out of the gray haze, she saw Cloud Dancing with three other men from the tribe heading their way. Raindrops settled on their hair and fringed buckskin shirts, making them sparkle. Assuming they were coming to discuss tribal business with her husband, she stood and prepared to make tea for their visitors. Before entering the lodge, Night Crane smiled broadly at the men and waved.

* * *

Michaela and Sully walked through the center of the reservation with their hands linked casually together. After leaving the canyon, they arrived back at their campsite by mid-morning only to find it deserted. A note had been left in plain sight under a rock by the wagon, letting them know Katie and Josef had gone berry picking with Live in Hopes and several other children from the reservation, and Brian and Dorothy had gone into the nearest town for more supplies for their trip home tomorrow. Finding their family otherwise occupied, they decided to head to the reservation for a visit with Running Wolf and Night Crane and then later to spend time with Cloud Dancing. It was their last full day here and they both wanted to spend as much time with their friends as they could before the time came to say goodbye.

They passed the school, the Indian Agent's office, and several lodges before reaching the road that led toward Running Wolf's home. The sunlight that woke them early this morning had been replaced by a whitish gray sky. A light rain had just begun to fall. It was little more than a mist and the delicate damp spray felt refreshing against their skin when compared to the endless days of ferocious heat. The wind had picked up, and as it hit the trees, the leaves drifted from their branches like a flock of birds.

In the distance, they saw the lodge with its distinctive robe hanging from the door. Though they couldn't see the detail from this far away, they remembered the design was exquisite. The vibrant colors of a river, sun, eagle, and a buffalo spoke of courage, and new beginnings. They noticed a group of people outside the dwelling, but they couldn't yet identify who they were. The gathering was a welcome sign, for it meant Running Wolf and Night Crane were home. They were pleased for their friends. In the time since they arrived, both of them had become valuable members of the tribe and well regarded by its leadership. As their steps advanced closer toward the lodge, Sully recognized Cloud Dancing. Eager to be with his friends again, he picked up their pace.

As they grew closer, the friendly gathering that they both had presumed awaited them, revealed itself with foreboding. Sully released Michaela's hand and slowed his steps to more closely observe the tense, rigid bodies up ahead. Angry hand gestures were coming from one of the Indians. Before Sully had time to fully evaluate the situation, he heard his wife gasp in a terrified way that sent a cold chill coursing through his body. She was ghostly white and as Sully followed the direction of her eyes, he saw Running Wolf being held with his hands behind his back by one Indian as another punched him in the face and chest.

* * *

Sully arrived at the front of Running Wolf's lodge panting hard from his sprint to help him. The surrealistic scene he stepped into rattled and disoriented him. Running Wolf was on the ground, his nose bloody and one eye beginning to swell shut from the beatings he had endured. An Indian held his hands behind his back while tying them with a rope. Another had his hands under Running Wolf's armpits pulling him to his feet. Night Crane and Eyes Like the Sky huddled by their front door in terror, their faces streaked by tears, while the baby wailed at the top of his lungs. The beautiful deerskin robe that adorned their lodge had been ripped from the door and now lay in a heap on the ground. Cloud Dancing stood stone still impassively observing the situation; he never even acknowledged Sully's presence. A casual onlooker to their interaction would have guessed the two men were strangers, not as close as brothers.

"Stop 'em Cloud Dancin'," Sully yelled. His voice sounded desperate. Cloud Dancing stared straight ahead. He didn't even look at his friend. Sully tried again, but again, there was no response. As anger crept up his neck, he took matters into his own hands. Reaching Running Wolf's side, he attempted to pull the two Indians off him. He grabbed one by the back of his buckskin shirt, punched his face, and let him fall hard to the ground. When he reached for the other assailant, Sully felt an arm snake around his neck, nearly choking him. Another hand pinned his arm awkwardly behind his back. Sully was immobilized by the vice grip of yet a third Indian.

"Why aren't ya doin' somethin'?" Sully yelled to Cloud Dancing. He tried in vain to wrestle free from the tight hold the Indian had on him. "Let 'im go. He ain't done nothin'."

Cloud Dancing reluctantly faced his friend, wishing he had found a way to prepare him for this news, or somehow convinced the Dog Soldiers to wait until Sully had left for home before confronting Running Wolf. This is not how Cloud Dancing had intended for Sully to find out. With the Dog Soldiers set on taking action and Sully away with Michaela, Cloud Dancing had no opportunity to speak with his friend before now. In this awkward moment, it fell on him to urge that his brother depart before the Dog Soldiers directed their anger toward him. "Sully, this is none of your concern," he said. His voice was so remote, Sully hardly recognized it.

"None 'o my concern?" Sully could hardly believe this was Cloud Dancing before him. "Runnin' Wolf's my friend. That makes it my business."

Michaela finally caught up to her husband. She was out of breath and horrified by the scene before her. While Sully was being held, one of the Indians had lifted Running Wolf high into the air and dropped him, letting him fall. He had been so dazed and weak from the beatings that he fell hard. Immediately upon seeing her friend's condition, her physician's instincts took over. With no thought of the danger, she ran toward Running Wolf as his bruised and bloody body was once again being yanked to its feet. Set on not letting her near him, one of the Indians pushed her hard with his free arm causing her to lose her footing and tumble to the ground.

The blow to his wife acted as a shot of adrenaline to Sully. He gathered the full force of his strength and broke free from the hold the Indian had on him. In a flash, he was by Michaela's side. He helped her to her feet, and when he confirmed she was all right, he again tried grabbing Running Wolf out of the clutches of the Dog Soldiers. The Indian that held Running Wolf kicked Sully in the stomach, momentarily knocking the wind out of him. He landed doubled over on the ground, gasping for breath. Cloud Dancing walked toward Sully and offered him a hand up, but Sully shoved it off and rose up on his own, determined to deal with Cloud Dancing later. The Dog Soldiers proceeded to roughly lead Running Wolf away from the lodge. Throughout the ordeal, Running Wolf remained silent, not making eye contact with Sully, Michaela or even his family.

"You must leave now," Cloud Dancing hollered. It sounded like a warning and it startled both Sully and Michaela. "It is no longer safe for you to be here."

"Cloud Dancin', he ain't done nothin'. You're makin' a mistake. He's our friend," Sully pleaded again.

"That man is no friend of the Cheyenne," he said, unable to make eye contact with Sully.

Night Crane felt a hand on her back before she realized Michaela was by her side. She heard faint sounds of comfort, but couldn't hear the words over the loud voices of torment in her mind. In the time since the Dog Soldiers had come for her husband, she felt like she was shrinking, slowly disappearing. The sobs of Eyes Like the Sky had grown fainter as she became smaller and smaller. She was numb. She could no longer feel and she could barely see or hear the action in front of her. Through eyes clouded by tears, she saw her husband being dragged away by two men as heated words filtered into her mind.

"Why ya lettin' 'em take 'im?" Sully asked again, his arm waving toward Running Wolf in agitated motions. "We'll get ya outta this," he called to his friend. I'll figure somethin' out."

"He is a murderer," Cloud Dancing finally said. He was confident that once Sully learned the truth, he would understand why he condoned the Dog Soldier's actions.

The remaining Indian with Cloud Dancing spoke next. "He will pay for the Cheyenne lives he has taken."

"Cloud Dancing, please," Sully begged, grasping his arm to force him to listen. "There's gotta be some mistake. You know Runnin' Wolf. He ain't a murderer. He saved my life." Sully's face was twisted in anger and his voice strangled.

Cloud Dancing wrenched his arm from Sully's fingers. "I do not know Running Wolf, and I am sorry, Sully, but neither do you." He said Running Wolf's name like he was spitting out a pebble he'd found in a piece of meat.

"He scouted for Custer. He killed our people," the other Indian blurted out at last.

For a moment Sully just stood there as the words hit him with almost physical force. Then his face returned to some calm place. "Ya got the wrong man!" Sully turned to Night Crane. "Tell 'im they got the wrong man."

Night Crane was caught in a prison of her emotions and hadn't heard Sully address her. Beside her she heard Michaela urging her to say something, but she didn't know what. Her heart was breaking and her mind refused to focus.

"This is some kind of terrible mistake," Michaela said. "Night Crane, please tell them they're wrong, that Running Wolf couldn't be the man they're looking for."

The jumbled words filtered through Night Crane's mind and rearranged themselves in some logical sequence of comprehension. She stepped forward, and with haunted and horrified eyes, she looked from Michaela to Sully and back again several times. Her look was strange. Even stranger was her silence. Then slowly she shook her head, drew in a breath, hesitated for another second and then spoke. "They have the right man."

_To Be Continued..._


	26. Chapter 26

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

The last thing either Michaela or Sully expected to hear were the words Night Crane had just spoken. Sully stood stone faced at the revelation while Michaela reeled with shock. Words failed her as she struggled to put some kind of order to the questions that came to mind. She shifted her feet uneasily and looked at Sully, searching his face for a sign of what they should do now. As she studied her husband's expression, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. She thought about how strange it was that his face, which she could usually read so well, now showed nothing at all. Without Sully to anchor her, she felt more adrift in shock and confusion.

Her eyes drifted away from her husband toward Night Crane. In spite of the heinous revelation about Running Wolf, she felt deep empathy for her young friend. She knew exactly what it felt like to watch the man you love dragged away from you and charged with murder. Whatever he had done, Michaela vowed to help her friend through it. Looking at her now, Night Crane had completely lost her color. She was pale and trembling so hard she seemed about to fall. Michaela broke the paralyzed stillness by moving closer to her and placing her arm around her shoulder. Her steps sounded like drumbeats as they pierced through the silence that encased them all.

Cloud Dancing regretted the chasm that divided him from Sully, placing them on opposite sides. True to his nature, Sully had risked his own safety by coming to the aid of a friend, only to learn that the friendship had been built on deceit and betrayal. Another man might have been angry with Sully for taking the side of Running Wolf against his closest friend, but Cloud Dancing felt no such anger. He had expected nothing less of him. Instead, he was worried, worried that this terrible truth would leave his friend emotionally shaken, and doubting his own judgment. When he first learned the truth, Cloud Dancing had felt the same shock and disbelief he knew Sully was experiencing now. Like Sully, he had grown fond of Running Wolf. Recognizing his leadership ability, he had even invited him to sit on the tribal council. His stomach churned at the realization that the Long Hair had probably admired those same qualities.

Finding out that Running Wolf, a man he had trusted and befriended, had aided the man responsible for murdering so many of his loved ones, Snow Bird, Black Kettle and his wife, No Harm and scores of other Cheyenne, left Cloud Dancing with a terrible pain in his chest, an all-consuming anger, and incredible hate. Hatred did not come easily to him. It was an ugly emotion that damaged the soul. Yet, at this moment, Cloud Dancing recognized the hate within him, plunging him into greater despair and even fear.

Sully could feel the eyes of his friend on the back of his shirt. Gradually, he turned around, bringing his tortured eyes up to meet Cloud Dancing's sorrowful, tired ones.

"We need to talk," Cloud Dancing said. His voice was tinged with regret.

Sully nodded his agreement. A fury of emotions choked and knotted his throat, robbing him of his voice. He glanced toward Michaela who was still standing with her arm around Night Crane, as if holding her up. In a brief exchange, their eyes locked, and they silently conveyed to each other the place they needed to be at this moment. Sully turned back to Cloud Dancing and the two men silently walked away from the lodge.

* * *

"It's really true?" Sully asked. These were the first words he had spoken in the hour since he and Cloud Dancing had taken a seat along the riverbank. The questions whirling in his head had been so disturbing he had trouble picking one out. 

"It is true." Cloud Dancing had been sitting quietly beside Sully, patiently waiting for him to be ready to hear the details about Running Wolf. "I wish it were not so."

"How did ya find out?" Sully sat on the ground with his body closed in on itself and his face resting on his hands, staring out at the river, struggling against powerful emotions. The predictable ebb and flow of the currents served to slowly restore his sense of balance that earlier had been ripped apart. The rain had stopped, but the sky was still gray and dreary, matching his mood.

"When the Dog Soldiers returned from their hunt, one of them thought he recognized him. He watched him during the Massaum and for several days afterward. When he was certain, he informed Strong Bow."

"Custer's been dead over five years. How can he be sure?" Sully still clung to a thin thread of hope that this had all been a terrible mistake, that somehow he had misunderstood Night Crane.

"Eagle Nest remembered an interaction with him near this area over ten years ago. He discovered Running Wolf spying on the location of a camp of Cheyenne. They had a violent and bloody fight, leaving them both seriously wounded. But, despite his injuries, Eagle Nest was able to warn Black Kettle to move the camp before Custer and his men arrived," Cloud Dancing paused to gauge Sully's reaction.

Sully's face crumbled as he began to piece the clues together. Running Wolf's expert knowledge of this area, the secrets buried in his past, the Cheyenne shield mysteriously found in the north, and now Black Kettle's name. After a long moment of working to dismiss what his mind had concluded, he turned in his seat and raised his eyes to Cloud Dancing for the first time. "That's when Black Kettle moved the camp to the Washita, after he was turned away from Fort Cobb?"

Cloud Dancing nodded, staring at his friend through pain darkened eyes. "At the time, Eagle Nest believed he might have killed Running Wolf because he never saw him again, that is, until five days ago. But, someone told Custer where our people were camped. Someone told him they were along the Washita, and seeing Running Wolf alive now, we know the answer. For the past few days, Eagle Nest watched his movements, and studied his mannerisms and facial expressions, until he had no doubt who he was."

"I been thinkin' 'bout when I first met 'im," Sully began softly. "He made me uneasy at first. I had a strange feelin' he was hidin' somethin'…that he wasn't who he appeared ta be."

"Our first instincts are usually correct," Cloud Dancing noted.

"Then, the more we got ta know 'im and care about 'im, I figured we all got part o' our past weighin' us down. The only thing that mattered was the man he was now."

"Do you still feel that way?"

Sully turned his eyes away and gazed toward the river. "I know ya want me ta say no, but I can't. It's not easy ta forget the past month."

"Sully, I would never ask you to tell me anything other than the truth. But, consider this, he chose to join forces with Custer against the Cheyenne. You know as well as I do the man Custer was. We both saw the aftermath of Washita. Running Wolf led Custer to find my people to kill them. There is no forgiving that, no matter who he is pretending to be now."

Sully was devastated, but he was also conflicted. He could never forgive someone who would scout for Custer against the Cheyenne, never. But, the man he met and became friends with was honorable and selfless, not a murderer. He couldn't reconcile these two versions of the same man. "Cloud Dancin', he took care o' Josef when he was lost in the woods, he saved my life when I was danglin' over a cliff, an' he loves his family as much as we love ours. I can't believe this is the same man who would murder the Cheyenne. But, if he is, then no, there's no forgivin' that."

"Do you still doubt he is the same man even after Night Crane told us so?"

"It's just so hard ta believe, but no, not if you're sure." Saying the words aloud betrayed how little he believed it to be so. Though Sully found it nearly impossible to accept the truth, the facts before him, along with his best friend's word, told him it was true. "Cloud Dancin', I'm sorry I interfered back there. I should've trusted ya had a good reason for takin' Runnin' Wolf away."

The lines on either side of Cloud Dancing's mouth relaxed, testifying to his relief. But, his eyes lost none of their intensity. "There is no need for apologies. You acted as I expected you would at seeing a friend in danger. I am sorry Running Wolf was not the man we both thought he was."

"Same here." He fell silent again, alone in his thoughts, his face frozen in sadness. "What'll happen ta him?"

Cloud Dancing remained silent for a long minute. "Eagle Nest will finish what he started."

Sully's eyes swung back to his. "Kill 'im?"

"There is no choice."

"There's always a choice." Sully's glare was sharp and still.

"He must give his life to avenge the lives he stole from us," Cloud Dancing replied, firm in his resolve.

Sully looked away again toward the river. "When will the killin' stop?

"I cannot answer that."

Sully had always felt eye for an eye justice was wrong. He never understood how killing someone to avenge a killing solved anything. But, until he could think clearer, he would not argue the point with Cloud Dancing. "What'll happen ta Night Crane?"

Cloud Dancing did not hold Night Crane responsible for her husband's actions, but he was not certain he could forgive her either. He carefully considered his next words. "As the niece of Black Kettle, she and her children may continue to live here, but it will not be easy. It will be difficult for the people to forgive her for marrying him and staying with him once she learned the truth. Before today, I did not know she knew. I believed he deceived her like he did the rest of us. Hearing her words to you and Michaela was a shock to me as well. Knowing who he is, and still loving him, will make it harder for her."

"She wanted her kids ta grow up Cheyenne. Now she's gonna feel rejected by 'em."

"It was her choice to betray her people." Cloud Dancing found it impossible to sympathize with Night Crane. "You and Michaela will not agree about this," he cautioned.

"She knows how Night Crane feels." Sully knew that on more than one occasion he had placed Michaela in Night Crane's shoes. His wife wasn't focusing on what Running Wolf had done, but on the heartache left behind after he had been torn away from his family. That was all she had likely seen and he couldn't blame her for that.

"Help her to see the difference." His words seemed to answer Sully's thoughts.

"Michaela won't be able ta forgive what he did, but I'm not gonna stop 'er from carin' about Night Crane or the kids." Thinking about Eyes Like the Sky caused Sully to feel impossibly worse. None of what had happened made sense. He had no idea how he was going to explain it to his children and help them to help their friend.

"I would expect nothing less of her either, but I need your promise that Michaela will not interfere with the Dog Soldiers."

"She won't."

"Will you leave for home tomorrow, as planned?" Cloud Dancing wished they had more time together, but he now believed their imminent departure was for the best.

Sully felt the weight of his loss move slowly back into him. "I don't know."

* * *

In the time since Sully and Cloud Dancing had left, Michaela had ushered Night Crane and the children into the lodge for privacy. Whispers of Running Wolf's capture had begun to spread through certain sectors of the reservation, and more people than usual had passed by their lodge, the way people came to the scene of an accident. What happened this afternoon may not have been an accident, but it was a tragedy all the same. Michaela would never understand that aspect of human nature that seemed to find relief in the misfortune of others. It was as if by witnessing the adversity of another, they could prevent it from happening to themselves. 

Night Crane sat on the floor, leaning against the rear wall of the lodge, cushioned from the hard surface by a brown and beige woven blanket. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she wrapped her arms around them, making a shelf for the side of her face to rest on. She hadn't moved or uttered a word since Michaela had guided her there over an hour ago. Michaela's instincts told her she needed to remain with Night Crane, but nothing she did brought her out of her trance. The tea she had made remained untouched, and was now cold. Gentle questions and sympathetic words of comfort received no response. Michaela rocked New Promise until he had fallen asleep and she sat with Eyes Like the Sky for a while. Like his mother, the boy closed himself in a prison of silence. He was now sitting alone in the tall grass behind the lodge making a rope out of strands of bark. No one came by, not even Night Crane's aunt, Falling Dove.

Unable to sit still, but equally unable to leave, Michaela kept busy by tidying the small cabin. When there was nothing left to be done, she slowly walked across the room and lowered herself onto the blanket beside Night Crane. She placed a comforting hand on her back, letting her know she was there for her.

"Thank you," Night Crane finally said, conveying her gratitude for Michaela's presence. She had not felt this alone since immediately after Washita and it meant a great deal to her that Michaela had remained by her side even after learning the truth about her husband.

The day of her nightmares was now her reality. Despite all the talking she and Running Wolf had done about the danger of returning to Darlington, and their brave pledges to face the consequences should the worst come to pass, it occurred to her now, that she had never taken the risk seriously enough. It was as if, somehow, after all they had been through, she thought they could tempt fate and survive. Though her husband's capture always hung over them like a boulder teetering on the edge of a cliff, she knew that if she had truly believed this day would come, she never would have returned. For now that the worst of her imagination had come true, she no longer felt brave enough to face the repercussions, not without Running Wolf by her side.

"I want to help you," Michaela said, lightly rubbing her back. "Let me know what I can do."

"There is nothing to do," Night Crane said, her voice weak from defeat. "We always knew of this risk."

"And you came here anyway?"

Night Crane raised her weary eyes to Michaela's face. "We wanted our children to be raised Cheyenne. Running Wolf also felt compelled to come here to atone for his past. He was prepared to make this sacrifice for me and our children, but also for himself. New Promise represents our promise to the Cheyenne people to devote our lives to their survival. It can't replace the lives lost, but Running Wolf thought by preventing others from dying, he might find redemption."

Michaela was moved by her words. "That's quite a promise. My son and my husband might not be alive today if it weren't for Running Wolf."

Night Crane lowered her head into her hands. "Now he's gone. Our promise means nothing. I don't know what I'm going to do."

For the most part, Michaela had managed to block out Running Wolf's association with Custer to focus all her energy on Night Crane. She wanted to help her friend through this tragic ordeal. At the same time, she was curious to learn how Night Crane had come to accept his past. She wasn't at all certain she could have done the same. "How long have you known?"

Night Crane sat up, leaned her back against the wall, and stretched her legs out in front of her. "A long time…before we were married."

"You married him anyway."

"I loved him."

"I understand." In truth, while she supported her friend, Michaela didn't entirely understand. She knew, firsthand, the incredible power of a true, deep love. What she found hard to grasp was how someone could fall in love with a man who helped murder her family.

Night Crane thought that perhaps Michaela truly did understand. From the bits and pieces she learned from her and Sully as they traveled, there were some aspects of Sully's past that she had needed to forgive. Her body was overcome with fatigue and her stomach queasy, but she desperately needed someone to confide in. She needed someone to understand the love she had for this man who her tribe now considered a monster.

"I told you we were friends for a long time," Night Crane began. "Our relationship developed slowly and cautiously, seeming to move forward, only to slide back again. I still had trouble trusting men after what happened at Camp Supply and, though I didn't know it at the time, Running Wolf had his secret about Custer. After I became confident in our new relationship and dared to believe we could build a future together, he pulled away from me. He continued to spend time with Eyes Like the Sky, but he was more distant toward me. I was devastated. I became convinced he rejected me because of what happened to me. One day, I confronted him, and accused him of holding the rape against me. He was overcome with remorse and assured me he didn't. To prove it to me, he came around more often and we spent time together. It didn't take long for us to become consumed by our love for each other again."

"It sounds romantic," Michaela said, the story reminding her of the push and pull of her own courtship with Sully.

Night Crane turned up the corners of her mouth in a weak smile. "It was. I deeply loved him," she paused, shuddering at her use of the past tense. "I still do. But, despite being in love, our relationship never moved forward. Something was holding Running Wolf back."

"His involvement with Custer?" Michaela assumed. She still could not fathom how the man she had come to know and respect had scouted for Custer.

"Yes, but I didn't know that yet. I began to suspect that he was hiding something from me that was keeping us apart. At one point, I even wondered if he had a wife on a different reservation."

"Did you ask him?"

"I didn't have to. Eventually Running Wolf came to me. He told me he loved me and he wanted to marry me, but that he had something to tell me that would prevent _me_ from marrying him. Then he told me about his past."

"But, it didn't stop you from marrying him."

"It nearly did," she admitted. "My reaction was the same as any Cheyenne upon hearing such news. I am certain it was the same or even worse than Cloud Dancing and the Dog Soldiers. I lived through Custer's attack on our village. Custer killed my parents, my brother, so many of the people I loved. It was impossible to imagine loving a man who could help him do that to my family. That was not something I could forgive."

Michaela had tears in her eyes now as she remembered the first sight of Black Kettle's camp after Custer had been through - the dead bodies, the smoke, everything burned to the ground. She didn't know how anyone could forgive that. "But, you did."

"Forgiveness came slowly and not easily. First, I called him hateful words and pushed him away. I forbade Eyes Like the Sky from seeing him and I told Running Wolf I never wanted to see him again."

"Did you tell your son the truth?"

"He was too young to be told the truth. I simply told him Running Wolf and I were no longer friends and that he could not spend time with him anymore. Since he loved Running Wolf, and I gave him no clear reason to dislike him, he disobeyed me by sneaking off to see him behind my back."

Michaela thought that Brian would have done the same if she and Sully had been in similar circumstances. "Did Eyes Like the Sky know the truth before today?"

"When we decided to come here to live, we told him what I believed he could understand. In the days to come, he will hear such hatred. I wish I could protect him from the pain. I fear he will come to despise the only father he has ever known," Night Crane told her, a strained expression in her eyes.

"You can explain it to him. If after everything you've been through, you were able to forgive him, so will your son." As she uttered the reassuring words, Michaela's mind was in conflict. She was unsure if any explanation could reduce the size of this burden. She found it astonishing that Night Crane was able to forgive Running Wolf. Just thinking about him allying with Custer made her stomach churn in disgust.

"I believe it was easier to forgive him because of what I had been through. Not that it was easy. For a long time, I despised him. But, by losing everything and everyone I loved, I learned to appreciate when I had something special. I believed, and still do, that we could make amends. Once I forgave him, I agreed to marry him."

"How did that happen if you weren't seeing him?"

"One day Running Wolf came to tell me that Eyes Like the Sky had been visiting him. He knew I wouldn't approve and he didn't want to do it behind my back. I informed him we were leaving. I had decided to return here, to the Indian Agency in Oklahoma, to escape the painful memories. That's when we started talking. We talked all night. We talked more over the next few weeks. I still believed a union between us was impossible. However, as we continued to talk, I came to see Running Wolf as a casualty of war, as I had been. We were more alike than different. I still believe that."

"What will happen now?"

"The Dog Soldiers will kill him," she said simply.

"What? We can't let that happen."

"There is nothing we can do." Night Crane rose to her feet, her body cramped from sitting for so long. She opened the front door of the lodge to let in fresh air.

Michaela stood now, too. "We can go to the Indian Agent. Surely, he'll offer him protection. Running Wolf worked for the United States Army."

Night Crane spun around to face Michaela again. "No, please don't tell him."

"Why not?"

"Running Wolf would rather die than be associated with your Army again and I would be cast out from my people. We would have nowhere to go."

"There has to be some way to prevent his death. Perhaps the chiefs can be persuaded to allow him to serve out a sentence. She remembered the seven year sentence Sully had agreed to serve before his pardon. Then, at least you and the children can visit him."

"I have considered that as well." The idea tapped a hidden reservoir of strength that Night Crane feared had been depleted. "I could speak to Strong Bow about holding a council. I would tell him that, after he has heard our words, we will abide by their decision."

"It's worth a try. I'll help you any way I can."

"I thought you were leaving tomorrow?"

Michaela brought her hand to her mouth. "Oh, I forgot. We do need to return home, but we can't leave if there is anything we can do to help you…and…." She hesitated, weighing whether she could honestly utter her next words. Taking a deep breath and deciding to trust his desire for atonement, she continued. "…and Running Wolf. I know Sully will agree."

Night Crane averted her eyes and lowered her voice. "I am not so sure. I saw his face."

"He'll want to help you."

"Why? Why are you helping us?"

Michaela stepped forward, taking the young woman's hands in hers. "Because you're my friend, and as I told you after Running Wolf saved Sully's life, if you ever needed anything, we'd be there. And, because I don't believe killing Running Wolf serves any purpose. It will not bring the Cheyenne back."

* * *

"We ain't helpin' 'im," Sully said. He paced back and forth in front of Michaela, his steps heavy and burdened. 

They had both separately returned to the campsite by suppertime, worn out from the tragic revelation, the fallout from which had only begun. Before they had a chance to speak with each other, they were peppered with questions from Brian, Dorothy, and even Katie, all of whom had heard the rumors about Running Wolf and were waiting for Michaela or Sully to tell them it had all been a terrible mistake. Patiently, and with careful consideration of young ears, Michaela and Sully began the painfully difficult telling of Running Wolf's involvement with Custer and his confinement by the Dog Soldiers. The shocked faces of their family and friend mirrored their own from hours before, and their endless questions still had no answers, at least none that made sense to any of them.

After the children had fallen asleep, Michaela and Sully walked to the river to talk alone. Since they had learned the truth about Running Wolf, they both had a powerful urge to share their grief with each other. It seemed impossible that it was still the same day. A day that began blissfully with tender loving in a cave had ricocheted through violence and lies and was coming to an end in grief and disagreement. Instead of the solace and commiseration they sought from each other, the day threatened to end in an argument.

"Sully, please, if you would listen…," Michaela pleaded. She had neither desired nor expected his intense negative reaction.

He cut her off, sparks of anger shooting from his eyes. "He deceived us, Michaela."

"He didn't deceive us," she replied from her seat on a rock, her hands twisting the material of her dress. "He merely didn't tell us everything. There's a difference."

"Not ta me," Sully returned, his arms held stiffly at his sides as he struggled to manage his temper. "We don't even know who he is."

"I believe we know who he is now. Isn't that all that matters?"

"No. It's not enough." Sully was angry, not at his wife, but at the entire, desperate situation. He had an overwhelming urge to kick or throw something. Instead, he resumed pacing like a threatened lion in a cage.

"Sully, do you believe you deceived me when we became engaged?"

He stopped his movements and glared at her, as if attacked. "What are ya talkin' about? I never deceived you."

"You never told me you were in the Army. You never told me you killed a man."

"That was different," he retorted with irritation.

"How is it different?"

"It is," he snapped, raking his hands through his hair.

Michaela stood, walked over to him, and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Sully, you never told me you were in the Army because you wanted to forget it ever happened and because you didn't think I could forgive you. Don't you think the same can be said of Running Wolf?"

Sully stepped back from her, his eyes hard and narrow. "It ain't near the same, Michaela. I was tricked inta killin' that businessman. Runnin' Wolf joined with Custer on his own."

Michaela watched Sully's face harden into the mask she knew so well. The one that told her he was barely maintaining control of his temper. "Perhaps there are circumstances to Running Wolf's decision that we don't know. I believe he is the same good, decent man who found Josef when he was lost. The same man who, without a moment's hesitation, raced after your horse to save your life. Just as you were the same decent man before and after you joined the Army. Talk to him, Sully. Ask him why he scouted for Custer. Then, after you have heard his side, decide whether you can judge him."

Sully didn't speak right away. "Did Night Crane say somethin'? Is that why ya ain't mad?"

"I am angry, Sully. I abhor what Running Wolf did. But, Night Crane's fierce loyalty to her husband has given me pause. She told me Running Wolf came here for atonement. He wanted to make amends by helping the Cheyenne. Harvesting his guilt for good would serve the Cheyenne better than wasting another life in revenge. Sully, if she, a woman who lost more at Custer's hand than you or I could imagine, can find it in her heart to forgive him, who am I to condemn him? I have to believe we don't know everything."

Michaela's words chinked the armor of his anger. It was a simmering anger that, once it settled in to find a warm home, was difficult to release. "Or love is blind," he said defiantly, not ready to rid himself of the rage.

Michaela flinched. "Is that what you think of me? That I forgave your mistakes out of blind devotion?"

"This ain't about us."

Michaela moved closer to reach for his hand. "No, it isn't," she said softly. "But, I have thought about what happened at Palmer Creek in this context. Breaking the Indians out of the reservation was an act of treason that led to death and destruction on both sides. Some people still can't forgive you. I did because I know the kind of man you are and I understood your intentions."

Sully's voice softened. "Michaela, you're searchin' for a reason that just ain't there. You forgave me 'cause ya knew I had a good reason for what I did. I never meant for anyone ta get hurt, and that folks did, haunts me ta this day," he said, pausing for a moment. "By scoutin' for Custer, Runnin' Wolf knew he was sendin' the Cheyenne ta their death. Ya can't reason that away, no matter how hard ya try."

"Is it wrong to try to understand his reasons? I believe he's a good man, Sully."

"I liked 'im, too, but I can't think o' any reason that would make this right. There just aren't any."

Michaela knew they were at an impasse, but if nothing else, Sully's anger had dissipated a little. "Do we at least agree that he shouldn't be sent to his death?"

"It's none o' our business." His tone made it clear the topic was closed.

"Sully, you have never condoned hanging or any other form of lethal punishment. Remember Johnny Reed?"

"I don't agree with it, but I never tried ta stop one. I'm not gonna start now."

Michaela placed her hand on his arm. "Could you at least speak with Cloud Dancing? I'm not suggesting that Running Wolf doesn't deserve to be punished, but I don't believe he should be killed. Night Crane is going to ask for a hearing before the tribal council. She will abide by their decision."

"Maybe it'd be best if we left tomorrow, as planned." Sully could hardly believe those words came from his mouth. Just this morning, he would have given anything to stay longer, and now he couldn't wait to get away from this place, as if returning to Colorado would erase Running Wolf from his life. It would also guarantee he kept his promise to Cloud Dancing that Michaela would not interfere.

"You want to go home? Now?"

"Think it'd be best."

She was totally unprepared for this reaction from Sully. Even if he hadn't agreed to see Running Wolf or speak to Cloud Dancing on Night Crane's behalf, she at least thought he would be glad for the opportunity to spend more time with Cloud Dancing. "All right, we'll go home. I would like to stay one more day to visit with Night Crane and for the children to see Eyes Like the Sky."

_How had everything gotten so mixed up that Michaela was askin' me ta stay an' I'm refusin'?_ "We'll stay one more day, but only if you promise me you won't meddle in Cheyenne business."

"I promise I won't go to Cloud Dancing or any of the other leaders, but I can't promise not to advise Night Crane."

"S'pose that's the best I'm gonna get," he said, placing his arm around her.

She leaned her head against his shoulder as they started walking back to their bedrolls. It was late and tomorrow was guaranteed to be another difficult day. "Will you think about talking with Running Wolf and Cloud Dancing?"

"I can't."

"Please think about it."

They walked back to the campsite in silence, their arms around each other's waists. Sully was split in two about Running Wolf. He was angrier than he had been in a long time, but even in his anger, he didn't share Cloud Dancing's desire for revenge. Though he believed killing him was wrong, he didn't share Michaela's desire for compassion and understanding either. He felt too betrayed. Still, he loved her capacity for forgiveness. They happened to be in very different mental universes at the moment, but he wasn't going to allow this mess with Running Wolf to drive a wedge between them. On their bedroll, before closing his eyes, he kissed Michaela gently on the mouth. Then he spoke the last words of this night. "I'll think on it."

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you for your continuing support and for such thoughtful comments. _


	27. Chapter 27

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Early the next morning, before the sun had dried the dew that glistened on the grass, Katie and Josef walked from their campsite to visit Eyes Like the Sky on the reservation. The slightly cooler temperatures that arrived with yesterday's rain had been replaced by painfully bright blue skies and heat that returned with a vengeance. Though the reservation was a long distance on foot, the children were eager to get away from the campsite, away from adult whispers that stopped when they came near, from their mother's worried expressions, and from their father's sullen silence.

"Katie," Josef said, after they were a good distance away from their parents. "Is Running Wolf a bad man?"

Katie had been asking herself the same question. Live in Hopes was the first one to tell her the news about Running Wolf. When he did, she heard the anger in his voice and saw the desire for revenge in his eyes. Seeing her friend so mad and spiteful had frightened her. Later, when she asked her parents the same question, her father looked away, as if he didn't have an answer, while her mother assured her he wasn't bad, only that he had done bad things. Katie didn't understand the difference.

"What do you think?" she asked her brother.

"I don't think he's bad," he said assuredly. "He took care of me when I got lost and he's always helpin' out around here."

"He _was_ real nice to us," she added, before her concerns resurfaced. "What if he was only pretending to be nice?"

"Why you say that?"

Katie looked at her brother as they continued to walk. "I heard Papa tell Brian he was pretending to be someone he isn't."

"Like when I pretend to be a pirate or a cowboy?

"Sort of…not exactly." Katie was confused and talking to her brother wasn't helping. It was difficult to accept that this man, who had become such a good friend to her family, had done something terrible. But, even worse, was the twinge of panic she felt at knowing her parents didn't have all the answers. It was as if her world wasn't as safe as it was just a day ago.

"Katie, I don't think he was pretending to be our friend." Josef said sincerely.

Katie knew her brother could only see Running Wolf as the man who helped a scared little boy return to his family. That he clung to his loyalty made Katie wonder why she was struggling to find the same loyalty within herself. "I hope not," she finally said. The reactions of her parents and Live in Hopes unnerved her, causing her to doubt her own experience with Running Wolf.

"Why'd they take him away?"

"Because he did something bad," Katie said. As a distraction from her thoughts and her brother's questions, she paused to examine the new pale yellow blooms on a yucca plant. Kneeling down, she collected several wildflowers to bring to Night Crane.

"What did he do?"

Katie shrugged her shoulders. "Mama said he hurt the Cheyenne."

"He don't seem like he'd hurt no one."

Katie walked a few steps in silence, forming a response. "Remember what Papa told us last night? About some folks making mistakes in their past that now they gotta pay for?"

"How much he gotta pay?"

Katie rolled her eyes at her brother. "Joey, it's not money. They get punished for the bad thing they did before."

"Like when I got Wolf killed?"

"Worse," she said. By all the hushed voices and somber expressions, Katie thought Running Wolf might have killed someone, but she didn't want to let on to her brother.

"What could be worse than that?" Josef asked.

Katie avoided his question by bending over to pick more flowers.

"Do the Cheyenne have jails like we have?"

"I haven't seen any."

"What's gonna happen to Running Wolf?"

"Joey, stop asking so many questions," she snapped, immediately regretting her outburst. She was on edge and frustrated at not having the answers to any of his questions, or her own. At seeing his frightened expression, she put her arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry I yelled."

"What are we gonna say to Eyes Like the Sky?" Josef worried.

"Nothing. We're just gonna be his friend. Mama said none of this is his fault." At the border to the reservation, she paused in her steps as her hands became clammy and her heart raced. "Just think how we'd feel if it happened to Papa."

Muted by that thought, the two Sully children walked the rest of the way to their friend's lodge without speaking another word. When they approached the grassy area in front, it was a mess. Blankets, cups, plates, books, and other items were strewn across the grass and the front door was wide open. Katie ran inside. The lodge was dark and seemed deserted. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she screamed and dropped the flowers at the sight of Eyes Like the Sky curled up on the floor in a corner, clutching his waist and writhing in pain. She ran to his side while Josef stood frozen at the door.

Katie helped him to a sitting position and gauged his visible injuries. There was a gash over one eye trickling blood down the side of his face and another large cut on his arm. "What happened?"

Tears flowed freely down his face. "Bra…" he stuttered. "Brave Bear and…and Fly…" he stopped.

"Flying Elk?" Josef asked. He tentatively eased his way across the room toward his friend, frightened by his cuts and bruises.

"I was alone. They…they said…my…father…" He paused to catch his breath as the tears continued to flow. "They said he did…terrible things and…and I…had to pay. Then they hit me so hard." Eyes Like the Sky clutched his stomach in pain.

"Why?" Josef asked.

"Joey, that don't matter now. We gotta get him help."

Eyes Like the Sky shook his head as if to say no.

"You need a doctor," Katie insisted. She reached for one of his cotton shirts that had been tossed on the floor, and with her teeth, she pulled at a seam until it split into two parts. She tied one part around his head to stop the bleeding and the other around his arm.

"Just leave me," Eyes Like the Sky said, dropping his head into his hands. He edged away from them to curl up on the floor.

"We gotta take him to Mama," Josef said, scared. "I want Mama."

"The campsite's too far and besides, we don't even know if she's still there." Katie's mind was turning over various options. The choice was made more difficult by not knowing if they should move him. _What would Mama do? Think, Katie, think!_ By the way he was holding his arm against his waist, she thought either his arm was broken or his ribs were bruised.

"What are we gonna do?" Josef asked, panic creeping into his voice. "We're too little. We need Mama and Papa."

"Josef, they're not here right now and I need you to help me," Katie said. Her voice had a serious tone, far older than her years. "We'll take him to Cloud Dancing."

"No!" Eyes Like the Sky yelled. "No!"

Katie and Josef reared backward at the force of their friend's vehement reaction. They had no idea why he reacted as he did to the mention of Cloud Dancing's name. The reason didn't matter; they had no choice. He needed the medicine man's help now. Katie walked behind Eyes Like the Sky, placed her hands under his armpits, and with her brother's help, gently pulled him to his feet. Then she and Josef supported him with one arm around each of their shoulders. Eyes Like the Sky moaned from the pain, too weak to put up an argument. "We're gonna get you help," Katie said. Taking small steps in deference to his injuries, the three children left the lodge in search of Cloud Dancing.

* * *

Running Wolf sat alone in a tepee. His feet were stretched out in front of him, bound at the ankles by rope woven from juniper bark, his wrists tied behind his back. He had been sitting in the same position ever since the Dog Soldiers had taken him from his lodge, dragged him to this place and shoved him inside. No one had entered since, not even to bring him water or food. A thin sliver of light, where the outside flap met the floor of the deerskin lodge, told him it was a new day, though he had no idea of the time. Inside his dark surroundings, each day seemed to stretch on for weeks. 

Pain wracked every part of him. The hurt from the beatings he sustained the day before was worse now that his muscles had stiffened from sitting in the same position for so long. His injured eye was closed shut from the dried blood that had caked on its lid and eyelashes. Several ribs were broken or badly bruised. His knuckles and hands, that were bloody and scraped in the fighting, were now swollen, as the ropes that bound his wrists cut off his circulation.

The physical pain and misery, though almost unbearable, comprised only a fraction of his agony. Far worse was the emotional torment of having brought shame and dishonor on his family. Though his suffering would be over soon, theirs had only begun, and for that, he was certain his guilt would accompany him to the spirit world. Guilt had been his silent companion, ever present from the moment he made his deal with the devil. If it left him, he was certain he would feel like some part of him was missing.

Death would be his next journey. Would it be swift, he wondered, or would he be left here to endure a slow, tortuous decline, tormented by his memories? Prayers were all he had left, prayers and memories from the borrowed life he never deserved. He cursed his arrogance at believing it was possible to build a new life to atone for his sins. He cursed his selfishness at pursuing a forbidden love, a selfishness that would destroy the best person he had ever known and scar his children in the way his childhood had scarred him.

It was hubris that led him to let his guard down at the reservation, forming friendships and assuming duties reserved for Cheyenne men of standing. Typically, he preferred to remain in the background, not drawing attention to himself, but, that was not why he came to Darlington. He came to make amends by channeling all his energy into aiding the Cheyenne, and he couldn't do that from the shadows. Soberly he realized his capture was the inevitable conclusion of the path he had chosen the day he walked away from the United States Army.

With nothing left, he closed his eyes to pray. They were prayers for forgiveness and prayers for his family; that they may someday live without the stain of his crimes branded upon them like a scarlet letter. His expression was always intense when he prayed, as though he was locked in a struggle. He sat with his eyes clenched shut, the brows pressing downward, as if he was trying to squeeze out the crushing burden that tormented him. A sudden burst of light startled him out of his meditation. When his one good eye adjusted, he startled when he recognized the visitor.

"I never expected to see you again," Running Wolf said, wary of his intent.

"I need ta understand," Sully said. Rattled by his physical state and the obvious indicators of neglect, he reached over to hand Running Wolf his canteen. Parched for water, the Indian desperately gulped the liquid as if they were his last drops. "Easy," Sully said. "Easy." Then he lowered his body to the floor directly in front of him and crossed his legs.

Running Wolf poured water onto his closed eye and over his face. At this moment, he didn't think there was anything sweeter in the world than the taste and feel of water. When he was finished, he handed the canteen back to Sully, grateful and, at the same time, discomforted by his presence. "Thank you."

"I need ta understand," Sully repeated.

Sully's internal furnace was turned up so high that Running Wolf involuntarily edged back to avoid getting singed. Sully's eyes burned with warring flames of emotion. In them Running Wolf saw anger, betrayal, confusion, and a faint flicker of friendship. "It cannot be understood," he finally answered.

Why'd ya join up with Custer? Sully persisted.

Running Wolf gave no answer. There were no answers to these questions. Why, why, why? He stared at the ground for a long time, remembering. The silence stretched out between them, the uncomfortable silence between strangers who had once been friends. "Will you tell me about Night Crane?"

Sully accepted his diversion, for now. "It's been rough, but she's holdin' up. Michaela's been with 'er."

"I am grateful she has someone. I'm afraid her people will turn on her now," he said, closing his eyes for a moment as a sharp pain shot across his abdomen. "Would you tell Night Crane and Eyes Like the Sky that I love them and I'm sorry."

Sully managed a small nod in acknowledgement of the request. Then he rummaged in his pocket for a piece of dried meat he remembered seeing the other day. When he found it, he reached over, handing it to Running Wolf. "Our wives are workin' ta get a hearing before the council…ta spare your life."

Running Wolf's eyes were blank like a dead person's. His voice came out flat, without inflection. "Tell them to stop. My fate is sealed." I live among the dead now. Like them, I have no future.

"Killin' ya don't solve nothin'," Sully said. Though still enraged by his betrayal, he was disturbed by the extent to which he had lost his spirit and had given up. "Runnin' Wolf, I been real angry since learnin' the truth, and no, I don't understand it. Not sure I ever will. But, I been thinkin' 'bout my friend Runnin' Wolf. He's decent and honorable. Help me ta know how he's the same man who massacred the Cheyenne."

Running Wolf paused for a long moment, wincing from yet another stab of pain. "Do you have parts of your past you would erase if you could?"

"S'pose we all do." Sully moved to kneel in front of Running Wolf untying the rope binding his hands and feet. "I'll tie ya up again 'fore I leave." The gesture left Running Wolf speechless in wonderment. "I did things…" Sully began. "Things I ain't proud of. Folks even got hurt, some died. But, what I did was ta help folks. I never set out ta hurt innocent folks on purpose."

"Neither did I."

"How can ya say that? Sully accused, his voice rising. "I was there. I saw what Custer did."

Running Wolf shook his hands in front of him to restore the flow of blood. "Sully, the Crow and the Cheyenne have been enemies for generations. We fought each other fiercely, stealing horses and counting coup. I was raised to hate the Cheyenne. It was said that a boy became a man when he made Cheyenne women cry."

"Ya married one," he challenged.

"I loved her," he said, pausing to shift his body to a more comfortable position. "In the time I spent in your Army, I had come to realize the senselessness of our ancient tribal wars when there was a far greater enemy. When I was a child, my father was killed in a battle with the Cheyenne, later my brother. It was the way of our world. Hunting, caring for our families, and fighting the Cheyenne. After my brother's death, I took it upon myself to care for his wife and child. As was my responsibility, I married her. When food was scarce, I raided from white families. It was how we survived. One harsh winter, the white scab sickness came into our camp. My son died and my wife was very sick. I thought I could save her by building up her strength. So, I foolishly rode onto a farmer's land to steal food from his barn even though I knew soldiers were in the area. I tried to sneak in and out unseen, but I was caught."

"What happened ta your wife?" Sully asked, though he feared he already knew the answer. White scab sickness was the Indian name for smallpox and it killed them in large numbers.

"She died while I was being held by your Army."

"I'm sorry." Sully knew firsthand how that kind of pain could drive a man to actions he might later regret.

Running Wolf continued. "News of her death and the death of many others came to me in the Army prison. I felt as if I had failed them, failed in my responsibility to my brother. As I sat in the Army prison, sentenced to death, with no food and little water, General George Armstrong Custer paid me a visit. Until that day, I had never heard of him. He made me an offer. If I agreed to scout Cheyenne war parties for him, he would spare my life." Running Wolf noticed an intense look of betrayal cross Sully's face. "Sully, when a man is staring death in the face, his selfish hunger for survival deadens his empathy. Custer had enlisted other Crow and Osage warriors to scout for him, both ancient enemies of the Cheyenne. For our services, he made grand promises. He told me the Crow would be given a large parcel of land in the north where we could live free and hunt buffalo. Looking back, I should have known the lie behind that promise. You have to understand, Sully, I came from a long distinguished tradition of great warriors. He was offering me a chance to survive, to be the warrior I was raised to be, and to help my people at the same time. It was a good offer. I accepted."

As he listened to Running Wolf's story, Sully thought about how he had tried to lose himself in the war after Abigail and Hannah died.

"Custer valued my skills. I could see without being seen and I always gave an accurate accounting of the enemy. He treated me well, giving me ample food, supplies, and status. Only much later did I learn the mistake I made," Running Wolf said, bringing his knees to his chest. "I learned the real intent of your government. They wanted all the native people dead and they enlisted the help of men like me to do it. Sully, a Crow warrior does not harm women and children. There is no honor in such a fight. I came to find out we weren't only preventing Cheyenne war parties from attacking white villages, as I had been told. We were destroying entire Cheyenne villages to end the Indian problem, as your government saw it."

"Custer used you," Sully said. Before this day, he didn't think he could loathe Custer any more than he already did, but he was wrong. He felt a new surge of anger at the extent of his lies and deceit.

Running Wolf shook his head. "I hold much against the General, but not my decision. For that I have only myself to blame. I should have known the truth of his intent. I should have known we could not trust the white army. I was blinded by my desire to save myself and to do something worthwhile after failing my family. I justified it by telling myself that I would only be doing what I was raised to do before the whites came. At first, I only scouted war parties, Dog Soldiers, mostly. Over time, I came to see myself in the enemy. We shared the same blood and the same desire for our people to survive. After a while, whether we were Crow or Cheyenne, it didn't matter. We were the same. I wanted to walk away, but I felt trapped. The first time I saw the Army destroy an entire village, I became sick. For months afterward, I saw the faces of the women and children in my sleep." Running Wolf stopped for a moment, overcome by the memories.

"What happened at Washita?" Sully held his breath for a moment, afraid to hear the answer.

"Custer told us Cheyenne Dog Soldiers had split from Black Kettle's band and were about to launch a series of raids on white towns."

"Cloud Dancing was with 'em," Sully said almost to himself, thinking that Running Wolf might have been responsible for his death, if he had found him.

Running Wolf raised his eyebrows, unaware and surprised that Cloud Dancing had ridden with the Dog Soldiers. "The scouts split up. I traveled with an Osage warrior following a trail that led to the North Canadian River. That's where we spotted Black Kettle's camp. It wasn't far from here. A Dog Soldier spotted me and nearly killed me. He is the same one who identified me here. I got away and made it back to the Army camp while Hard Rope, the Osage scout, continued on."

"Did ya tell Custer where Black Kettle was?"

Running Wolf nodded, his eyes clouded by regret. "I told him Black Kettle was camped with women, children and old ones, not Dog Soldiers. I told him he probably moved the camp and it would be difficult to find a trail in the heavy snow that was falling. Yet, Custer pushed on toward the Washita as if he knew where Black Kettle would be camped. I came to see that the scouts were being used to justify a planned attack. By following the trail we laid, Custer could create the image of merely coming across Indians on the war path and heroically attacking them. Custer believed that Black Kettle was responsible for raids along the Solomon and Saline rivers in the Kansas territory and was seeking retribution."

"That's not true," Sully said, rising up from the ground in anger. "The Cheyenne had nothin' ta do with those raids. Black Kettle was leadin' the village ta where they were told they'd be protected. But, when he got ta Fort Cobb, he was turned away."

"I knew he wasn't leading a war party. I had scouted Black Kettle's camp. I knew who was there and how many. There were some fighting men in the camp, but not enough to be considered a war party. By traveling to Fort Cobb, Black Kettle had told the Army he wanted peace. I tried to explain that to Custer. But, the very next night, Custer led the Army into Black Kettle's camp. I watched in horror as the Army attacked an entire village of innocent people. Every day I asked myself, why didn't I know what he would do? After that day along the Washita, I walked away, unconcerned about what would become of me."

Sully was stunned by all he had heard. It had brought that awful day clearly into focus again, along with all its painful memories. He would need time to process all he had heard in his mind before drawing any conclusions. For now, he wanted an answer to one remaining mystery. "Is that where ya found the shield?"

"Yes. The Army was burning everything. I saw it lying next to Black Kettle's tepee so I took it and walked away. I kept walking. I became a man with no world, a man who didn't belong in the white world, but who had betrayed my own people, for at that moment, the Cheyenne had become one with me."

"Ya couldn't go back to the Crow?"

"I had no home and no place to belong. Some of the Crow considered me a hero for waging battle against the Cheyenne. All I felt was shame. I needed to be punished. I thought I could erase the past by isolating myself, living a life in solitude. I wandered for a time, and then I settled alone, cut off from all people. I lived in a lean-to between the Crow and Cheyenne land in the north. My days and nights were haunted by the screams, the blood and the faces of Washita. That is a horror I share with my wife."

"Is that where ya met Night Crane?"

"It was many years later. Night Crane gave me the possibility of a second life. At first, when she learned of all I had done, she felt betrayed and sent me away. I expected it and couldn't blame her. It took a long time, but by some miracle, we were able to heal and put the past behind us. She told me a life was still ahead of me if I had the courage to walk toward it. She loved me enough to forgive me. It was out of that love, and my desire to give back to those from whom I had taken so much, that I directed my steps toward this reservation. They became my first steps on the road to atonement. Of all the pains I could inflict upon myself, none was worse than living among the people I had betrayed. Night Crane's suffering had become real to me. I had an obligation to make the rest of the Cheyenne real."

As Running Wolf told his story, Sully's icy shell of anger cracked and thawed, leaving a puddle of sorrow. It was sorrow for the evil men do to one another, sorrow for his tragic life and the Hobson's choice he faced, and sorrow that his desire to give back to the Cheyenne would never be fulfilled. He remembered Michaela spoke about harvesting his guilt for good. Though he couldn't hear it then, he knew, now, that was what Running Wolf intended. Despite his sorrow, Sully was not yet ready to forgive. Was this even something he could forgive, he wondered. "I'm gonna talk ta Cloud Dancin'…convince 'im killin' ya won't bring the Cheyenne back. The council can decide a different punishment," Sully said, leaning over to tie the ropes back on, looser this time. "And, I'm gonna get 'im ta let Michaela treat your injuries."

* * *

Eyes Like the Sky laid his head back on the soft hide and stared up at the top of Cloud Dancing's tepee. It smelled of pine, smoke, and the pulverized roots and stalks of the yucca plant that the medicine man had applied to his open cuts and bruises. He was alone, his mind gray, and his body aching from the pain. But, the physical pain was preferable to the agonizing longing he had to go back to a different day. Had it only been twenty-four hours since he had played checkers with his father and won? Since that time, his entire world had crumbled. He was ten years old and shaken to the depths of his soul. 

Before he departed, Cloud Dancing had placed a wooden bowl of venison stew by his side. He tasted the stew, uncertain if food would still taste the same as the day before. That it did, he found disturbing. The sounds of village life wafting through the tepee were the same as other days. Eyes Like the Sky wondered how everything could be so different, yet still be the same. He didn't think he could get up, go to school, or perform his daily chores. The day after was the worst. He was beaten, dazed, and on the verge of tears at the first word from anyone.

The flap of the tepee opened. Eyes Like the Sky shielded his eyes from the bright sunlight that invaded his misery.

"How you feelin'?" Josef asked, crouching beside his friend. Katie moved to a spot on the other side of the boy, knelt down on the skins, and tried to make eye contact.

"Better, I guess," he whispered unconvincingly.

The siblings raised their worried eyes to each other. Their glance conveyed the powerlessness they felt at not knowing the right words to say or what to do for their friend. Realizing there were no words at a time like this, Katie sat back and folded her legs, taking his hand in hers. Following his sister's lead, Josef leaned forward to place his hand on Eyes Like the Sky's shoulder. The three sat together in silence for several long minutes. Katie was the first to speak. "While Cloud Dancing was taking care of you, we went back to clean up your house. Your ma wasn't there, so we couldn't tell her what happened."

"Thank you and thank you for bringing me to Cloud Dancing," Eyes Like the Sky finally said. "He took good care of me."

Katie was curious about what had placed the surprise in his tone. "I knew he would."

"He was one of them…." He paused, taking a deep breath.

"One of who?" Josef repeated, puzzled.

"One of the men who came to take my father away," he explained, his voice revealing his pain.

Katie and Josef shared a startled look of shock at this revelation. Their expressions communicated questions about what else their parents hadn't told them.

Eyes Like the Sky pulled himself up to a sitting position, his arm cradling the wound on his stomach. "Cloud Dancing told me what Brave Bear and Flying Elk did was wrong. He said he would speak to them. That I shouldn't be punished for what my father did." He remembered Cloud Dancing's tone as he said it; it was gentle toward him, but angry and spiteful toward his father. The anger sent a shiver of fear up his back.

"Do you know…," Josef began nervously. "…know what…your pa did?"

For a long time, Eyes Like the Sky had known, without details, that a cloud was there. Though he had been told about some of Running Wolf's past, last night, with his father gone, his mother filled in the details. "He once worked for Custer."

Katie's hand flew to her mouth. "Custer." She regretted the shrill tone to her voice.

"Didn't he kill Indians?" Josef blurted.

Eyes Like the Sky nodded. "But, he also used them to track other tribes. Running Wolf was caught by the Army. He agreed to scout for Custer in exchange for his life. He told us he thought Custer was only stopping the Cheyenne from killing white farmers and ranchers. When my mother found out, she was angry with Running Wolf. She wouldn't let me see him anymore. It took a long time for them to be friends again. I know he's sorry for what he did. That's why we came here. My mother wanted us to be raised Cheyenne and my father wanted to help them to make up for what he did."

"He _was_ helping the Cheyenne," Katie said, turning over what she had just learned in her mind.

"In school we learned that Custer was a hero, that he fought Indians to protect families moving out west." Josef's head was full with too much information. He thought it would burst. None of it made sense. _Was Custer good or bad? Maybe Custer wasn't so bad if Running Wolf worked for him._

"He also wiped out Indian villages. Almost every Cheyenne here lost a family member at Washita." Katie grew silent wondering if Running Wolf had anything to do with Washita.

Josef knew that was bad. The line between good and bad had blurred and Josef now wondered on which side of that line Running Wolf stood.

"I don't want to stay here anymore," Eyes Like the Sky said, dabbing at the tears collecting in his eyes. "Everyone hates me because of Running Wolf. They'll come after me again. I know they will. Can I go home with you? Please."

"Won't you miss your Ma?" Josef asked. "And Running Wolf. You wouldn't get to see him."

"I would miss them very much, but I'm scared to stay here. I don't fit in anymore. You're my best friends. Your father can teach me the rest of what I need to know to be Cheyenne." He sat up, drawing strength from his plan.

Katie grew quiet. She was so sad for her friend it hurt, sad to hear he wanted to leave his family, and sad that he would have no choice except to stay.

"You made lots of friends here," Josef reminded him."

"They all hate me now. Please, can I come home with you?"

"I don't think your ma'll let you go," Josef said.

"If my mother agrees, will your parents?"

"I'll ask them."

* * *

Sully found Cloud Dancing on a solitary bluff, surrounded by deep green fields, tall clumps of big bluestem grass, and sagebrush. The sharp sweet smell of sage filled his nostrils when he breathed in. The afternoon sky had brightened to a cloudless blue and there was nothing above him except a great blue heron looking like an arrow in flight. 

"We gotta talk, Cloud Dancin'," Sully said impatiently. When Cloud Dancing didn't reply, Sully noticed the collection of plants, roots, and bark by his side and watched for a moment how he methodically separated the leaves from the roots of the plants into two piles.

Cloud Dancing didn't look up as Sully approached, but was aware of the shadow across his face. "Your children came to me this morning."

"Brian?" Sully asked, his eyes flickering with uncertainty.

Cloud Dancing raised his eyes to Sully's. "The young ones," he corrected.

"They did?" Sully wasn't sure why that news made him so uneasy. Ever since learning the truth about Running Wolf, he felt off balance.

Cloud Dancing cut the stout stems of a yucca plant. "They found Eyes Like the Sky injured in his lodge and brought him to me."

Worry crept into Sully's face and questions whirled in his mind. He wondered why they hadn't come to him or Michaela. "What happened?"

"The people are angry," he began, motioning for Sully to take a seat. "When they do not know how to get rid of the anger, they misdirect it. That is what happened to Eyes Like the Sky. He was attacked by two Cheyenne boys. Katie wisely knew it was too far to bring him to Michaela at your campsite, so they brought him to me. She had stopped the bleeding, showing courage and strength beyond her years. You have taught them well."

Sully lowered himself to the ground next to Cloud Dancing. He felt a swell of pride in his children. "Is he gonna be all right?"

"For now. I spoke to the boys. I told them their anger was good, but taking it out on an innocent child was not. It was the coward's way. I do not know if they will listen."

Sully leaned closer to Cloud Dancing. "I talked ta Runnin' Wolf. There's things you need ta hear."

Cloud Dancing's body became rigid and his jaw set. "His excuses do not matter to me."

Sully placed his hand on his friend's shoulder; the silent gesture urged him to listen. "Cloud Dancin', I know you're angry, and for good reason, but there's things ya don't know. I understand if you're not ready ta hear his reasons, but killin' 'im ain't the way. That's what's gonna happen if ya leave 'im there alone, no food or water. You're torturin' 'im. At least let Michaela treat his injuries an' agree ta hold a council."

Cloud Dancing removed Sully's hand, his eyes remote. "That is not my decision."

"You could influence it," Sully pleaded. "What if your father had been denied a hearin' after he killed the Snake man?"

"It is not the same," Cloud Dancing retorted. "My father fought in battle. He did not take innocent lives."

"Runnin' Wolf thought he was leadin' Custer ta war parties. He didn't sign on ta kill women and children. Like your father, he comes from a tradition of great warriors. Fightin' the Cheyenne was what he was raised ta do. Custer used that against him."

"Then fight with the Crows. Why join the whites?" Cloud Dancing's voice was rising along with his temper.

"He was the Army's prisoner. Custer cut a deal for him ta scout for 'em."

"I would rather die than lead the Long Hair to ambush another tribe. Sully, do you not remember Washita?" Cloud Dancing's anger hardened his eyes and pinched at the corners of his mouth.

The accusation felt like a slap across Sully's face. "'Course I do. So does Night Crane. She lives with those scars every day o' her life and yet she was able to leave it in the past. All I'm askin' ya ta do is try ta stop the Dog Soldiers from killin' 'im. I'm not sayin' he should go free or that you should forgive 'im."

Cloud Dancing lowered his eyes to the ground. "He must give his life for his crimes."

Sully leapt up as though he were on springs. "This ain't like you, Cloud Dancin'. Killin' 'im won't bring the Cheyenne back. It won't bring Snow Bird back or any of 'em. This ain't the way!"

Revenge stained Cloud Dancing's soul like an inkblot. "It is the only way."

"Cloud Dancin', I know what you lost. I know how hard you're tryin' ta hang on ta your way o' life. But this…this hate…this revenge, it ain't you. Ya think holdin' firm on this gives ya control of somethin' when you've lost control over everythin' else? It don't. I know you, once he's dead, it'll haunt you. You always sought the path of peace."

"Perhaps if I had chosen the path of war, my people would not be here." Cloud Dancing's voice was tight with barely controlled fury. It seemed every day brought new crimes against his people. He was tired and frustrated. For every small success, there were hundreds of greater setbacks. He'd had enough.

"You don't believe that," Sully shouted back.

Cloud Dancing was on his feet now, too, his face hardened. Sully noticed his expression held no warmth, no anger, just a cold, blank stare. Cloud Dancing's rigid body trembled in fury. "Sully, stop telling me what I think and believe. You have no idea how I feel. You are not Cheyenne."

Sully's head recoiled backward as if hit by the words. "The Cheyenne are my family."

"When it was convenient."

"Convenient?" Sully found it difficult to breathe, the word bearing down on his chest like an anvil. "How can ya say that?"

"You are a white man who understands and appreciates Indian ways. But, you are white. That gave you choices and options we do not have. You could come and go between the Cheyenne village and Colorado Springs. You were free to marry, raise a family, and choose the work you do. When you wanted, you could visit your Cheyenne friends, but you were always free to leave. You could even cut your hair, change your clothes and fit right in to your world. We will never fit in. Even now, Sully, you will leave and I will still be the prisoner of your government. Do not tell me you know how it feels to be Cheyenne." Cloud Dancing no longer knew who he was talking to. He was unleashing years of pent up accumulated bitterness and devastation at what had become of his life and his people.

"You're not bein' fair Cloud Dancin'." Sully's voice was raw and desperate. "It ain't exactly convenient ta go into hidin', away from my family, for helpin' the Cheyenne, helpin' you. I was fired an' almost shot ta death by my government for tryin' ta help the Cheyenne. But, I'd do it all again," Sully pledged.

"Fair!" Cloud Dancing yelled back. "Tell me one single thing that has happened to my people that has been fair? Give me one example as insignificant as what you've given up?"

"How did this become about us?" Their friendship teetering on the edge, Sully tried to bring them back before it was too late.

"When you asked me to spare that murderer, you showed me that your spirit was never one with the Cheyenne."

"That's not true!"

"Sully, take your family and go home." They stood facing each other, frozen and finally wordless. Cloud Dancing gathered his roots and leaves placing them in his parfleche then began to walk away, leaving Sully alone on the bluff. When he was a few feet away, Cloud Dancing turned around. "There is nothing here for you anymore."

_To Be Continued..._


	28. Chapter 28

_No Greater Burden came in third place in the "Most Promising Story" category of the DQ Fan Fiction Poll!! Thank you for giving this story a chance and for voting. I really appreciate it. _

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Sully remained seated on the bluff long after Cloud Dancing had departed. Unwilling to hear their bitter words again, even in his mind, or to contemplate their implications, he retreated into numbness. As the minutes turned to hours, the solace he found in his paralyzed emotions had been replaced by a heavy, crushing ache in his heart. The angry words sounded loudly in his ears, as if each one was a nail pounding into his head. They echoed, louder and louder, until he was certain the words would pursue him all his days. It wasn't just the clash of voices he would carry with him, it was a growing dismay at his friend's behavior, and a gathering sense that the path Cloud Dancing had chosen, to remain at Darlington, had forever changed him.

Darkness came in the long, slow graying of the sky. As night fell, it was no longer necessary to shield his eyes from the bright light, but he found little relief in the inky sky. In a single day, friendships had been redefined and turned inside out. Learning Running Wolf had scouted for Custer had shaken him and rattled his confidence, causing him to doubt his usually sound judgment about people. But, after listening to his story, Sully was able to recognize his friend again. Though nothing would ever make it right, he knew Running Wolf didn't deserve to die. He even began to consider whether the circumstances were, indeed, similar to his time in the Army. As shocking as the revelation about Running Wolf had been, nothing had rocked his sturdy foundation more than finding Cloud Dancing encased in an armor of hatred and revenge.

As he sat on the bluff, replaying their argument over and over again in his mind, he had trouble understanding how it had escalated so out of control. It was as if, by asking to spare Running Wolf's life, Sully had dishonored the Cheyenne. In his accusations, Cloud Dancing had challenged and diminished Sully's commitment to them. Worse than that, Sully felt like a wayward son who had just been disowned by his father, told never to return to his family. He knew his commitment to the Cheyenne had never wavered. Before them, he had never known a real family, not even with Abigail. Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne gave him so much, and instilled in him the values he held most dear today. His spirit did indeed go with the Cheyenne and always would.

Cloud Dancing's words, "when it was convenient," rang in his head, simultaneously tormenting and enraging him. Sully never chose a convenient path and wondered if Cloud Dancing really believed what he said, or if it was the anger talking. He reflected on Cloud Dancing's anger. Their amicable conversation quickly ignited into a rage Sully had never seen before. It glowed white-hot within him like a branding iron. Sully considered the possibility that his friend's venomous words could have been born out of hurt, and his own impotence to change the course of history for the Cheyenne. As his pain receded, they might be able to talk and heal. Or had Cloud Dancing changed so dramatically from the depravation and humiliation of living at Darlington that he had redefined their friendship by demeaning it.

Sully closed his eyes, rubbing his temples to ease the throbbing in his head. His body was heavy and immobile, as if someone had nailed him to this spot. He felt as if the remaining energy he'd had to go on had been stripped away, leaving him naked and drained. Time alone would allow him to replenish his reserves. Right now he lacked the strength to see or talk with anyone. He couldn't help Running Wolf now. He had tried. Now, it was up to Night Crane to convince the chief to hold a council, if she could. At this moment, Sully doubted anyone or anything could spare Running Wolf's life.

Michaela would worry about him, and for that he was sorry. He didn't have the strength to tell her about his argument with Cloud Dancing, not until he had sorted it out first himself. When he was ready, he would return to the campsite. After bearing her initial attack, complete with accusations of selfishness that were thin disguises for her worry, he would apologize and tell her everything. She would understand his need for solitude and offer him the comfort no one else could.

Michaela was the compass that gave him his direction in life. As he thought about Michaela and about Cloud Dancing, he began to wonder if Cloud Dancing had expected him to choose to remain with the Cheyenne rather than build a life with Michaela. At the time of his marriage, Sully felt unwavering support from his brother. He thought Cloud Dancing understood his desire to move between both worlds, while continuing to help the Cheyenne. None of it mattered now, because even if he had it to do over again, Sully would not have made a different decision.

This journey that began with such promise was coming to an end far different from the one he had anticipated when they set out. His time with Cloud Dancing had begun as it does with friends who have a home in each other's hearts. They easily stepped back into each other's lives, as naturally as perennials bloom in a summer garden. Now there was a well of darkness between them and he wondered if they could recover in time, or would he leave for Colorado Springs with an unhealed, festering sore.

A single light shone brightly for Sully. His children had seen the Cheyenne the way he had always dreamed they would. They respected them and had made new friends among the Indian children. The trip couldn't have turned out better for all that he desired for his children. More than anything, he wanted to continue to help the Cheyenne survive. Would that be possible now, he wondered. Will his journey end with the loss of two friends, one new, one old? It was incomprehensible to imagine that Cloud Dancing might not be a part of his life. If he were to lose his friendship, Sully knew, with absolute certainty, that he would lose a part of himself. It would be left behind in the tall dry grasses of the Oklahoma plains.

* * *

The next morning, after a restless night that left her tired and on edge, Michaela prepared her horse for the short trip to the reservation. She, Dorothy and Brian were going to check on Night Crane, to find out if she had heard any news about a council, while the children visited with Eyes Like the Sky. 

Brian approached his mother from behind, handing her a cup of coffee. "Pa didn't come back last night."

Michaela accepted the cup and took a slow sip of the hot liquid. "No, he didn't," she replied, as naturally as possible, as if it didn't bother her that she hadn't seen her husband for nearly twenty four hours.

"Do you know why?" Brian studied her carefully, his blue eyes narrowing as he lifted the scalding contents to his lips. The weary expression in his mother's eyes concerned him, as did his father's prolonged absence.

"No, but I believe he needs some time alone to sort out his feelings about Running Wolf." Though she tried her best not to show it, Michaela was upset Sully hadn't returned last night. In their last conversation, they disagreed about Running Wolf and now she worried he was staying away because he was angry with her. She was so certain that when he had time to reflect, he would agree that Running Wolf deserved a hearing. It wasn't like Sully to harbor revenge toward someone. Perhaps, he still needed time to sort out his feelings. For Running Wolf's sake, she hoped that didn't take too long.

In all of her worry about Sully and Night Crane, Michaela had neglected to find out how Brian was handling this revelation. He had been about Katie's age when he lost a friend at Washita. "Brian, how are you feeling about Running Wolf?"

Brian lowered his eyes to the ground. "I'm not sure. I liked and respected him. But, now…I can't understand how he could scout for Custer. What would make an Indian turn against his own people like that?"

Michaela looked at him carefully, started to speak, and then stopped. After taking a moment to compose her words, she finally began. "I don't fully comprehend it either. But, Running Wolf is Crow. He was raised to wage war against the Cheyenne. Perhaps he convinced himself that he was only acting in the manner he was raised. Those were terrible times for the Indians. They still are, of course, but then they were still trying to live free, to be left alone by the whites to carve out an independent existence. Some Indians may have felt, if they sided with the Army, they would be granted special privileges."

Brian raised his eyes to his mother and took another sip of coffee. "That doesn't justify helping Custer send a village of women and children to their deaths. No Harm was just a boy. Live in Hopes lost his entire family. And Snow Bird," he stopped, overcome with emotion. "I remember what seeing that did to you, Ma."

She couldn't meet his eyes. "I remember it, too. The horror of that day has never left me, and in the past two days, it has come back with a vengeance. Brian, I was only attempting to offer an explanation. I wasn't defending it. It's not something that can be defended."

Brian sighed heavily. "What I don't understand is how Night Crane could have married him, knowing what he did."

"I imagine until we have walked in her shoes, we can't know the answer to that. Night Crane had lost everything, been violated, and treated as less than human by the whites and some of her own people. I can't fault her for trying to leave her past behind and pursuing a chance for a love she had never known before."

Listening to his mother, Brian realized that he couldn't judge Night Crane or even Running Wolf as harshly as he had been. "So, how do _you_ feel about Running Wolf, now?"

Michaela let out a long breath. "That he scouted for Custer is abhorrent to me. Though I might intellectually understand his motivation, I cannot excuse his action. Nothing makes it right. With that said I also believe that Running Wolf has been haunted by his decision and genuinely desires to make amends. He would not have come here, and risked being captured, if that were not the case. I do not believe he should be murdered for his crimes. It is my desire that the Cheyenne find a way to channel his guilt into something positive for the tribe."

"Do you think they can?" Brian asked.

Michaela swallowed another sip of coffee. "I don't know. Everyone is so angry. Reason often gets lost in all that anger."

"Pa doesn't think Running Wolf should be killed, does he?" Brian asked, knowing his father's opposition to hanging.

Dorothy brought her horse over to join Michaela's, overhearing Brian's question. "Goodness no! Of course Sully doesn't want to see Running Wolf put to death." When she looked toward her friend for agreement, Dorothy noticed Michaela's anxious expression and the dark circles under her eyes. "Are you all right, Michaela?" she asked, unaware that Sully had been gone all night.

"I'm fine, Dorothy," she replied, a bit too quickly. To avoid any further probing, she resumed loading her saddlebags.

"This business with Running Wolf has taken a toll on all of us, Dorothy continued. "I know how worried you are about him and Night Crane. Imagine him scouting with Custer. It's hard to believe, but well, I once thought the General was a good man, only doing his job, protecting the settlers moving west. Cloud Dancing must be taking this news hard."

Michaela turned around again to face her friend. "I believe he is. So is Sully."

"Of course he is," Dorothy said, patting her hand. "He and Running Wolf had become good friends and now well, with how Sully feels about Custer…." She let her words trail off, suspended in the space between them.

"What if they refuse to hold a council?" Brian asked.

Michaela looked down and swallowed the lump in her throat before meeting his eyes again. "I'm afraid the Dog Soldiers will kill him," she replied, barely audible.

"Does the Indian Agent know what's going on Ma?" Brian asked. "He could stop that."

"Night Crane does not want him told. I have to respect her wishes," Michaela replied.

"Everyone seems to know," Brian persisted. "How can it be that he's not aware of what's going on? I mean, those kids tore apart their lodge. From what Joe said, it sounded like that time Sergeant O'Connor came into the homestead looking for Pa."

Michaela bristled at that memory. Katie had only been a year old at the time and didn't remember any of it. She was sorry her daughter had to witness something similar now, but she was also grateful her children were there to help Eyes Like the Sky and to clean up the mess before Night Crane returned home.

"Brian," Dorothy began. "I've observed two distinct worlds on this reservation. There's the one, on the surface, that Agent Miles believes he oversees. But, there's another world, beneath the surface, where the Cheyenne try to live as they have for generations, preserving the old ways. Just as Agent Miles doesn't know about the lessons for the children, he won't know about this. The Cheyenne may talk among themselves, but I assure you, those who might tell Miles are not aware of what's going on. It's a tight underground culture. We are only included because of our friendship with Cloud Dancing."

"Dorothy's right, Brian. They do live in two separate worlds. We need to respect their decision to handle this in their own way," Michaela added.

"Even if it means killin' him?" Brian retorted, unwilling to accept that his parents would let this happen.

Michaela placed her hand on his arm. "My strong hope is that it doesn't come to that, but yes, even then."

"That's crazy," Brian said, stepping several paces back. "I'm angry about what he did, and to be honest, I'm not sure what they should do, but we can't let them kill him. We can't. What about breaking him out or you could fake his death? Remember when you helped that buffalo soldier fake his death so he could leave the Army? We could do something like that," Brian said, his voice rising to reflect his concern. He refused to accept that his mother would stand by idly and let him die.

"Brian, I have suppressed every urge inside me to run to Agent Miles and tell him the truth so that he may save Running Wolf's life. But, this is not what Night Crane wants. We may not agree, but we must accept her decision. Promise me you won't do otherwise," Michaela requested, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I won't do anything stupid," Brian agreed. Needing time to reflect on everything he had learned, he changed the subject. "Where do you think Pa is right now?"

"I believe he's with Cloud Dancing," Michaela replied, turning back toward her horse. The thought that Sully was with Cloud Dancing, urging him to spare Running Wolf's life, was the one thing that kept her nerves under control. When she finished saddling her horse, she looked across the campsite for the children. Spotting them, she called, "Katie, Josef, it's time to leave."

"Coming," Katie replied, as she closed her notebook. She had been watching birds all morning, writing down the descriptions of ones she didn't know and the names of those she did. She planned to ask her father for help naming the unfamiliar birds. Josef ran over to her and together they walked in the direction of their mother.

Michaela lifted Katie onto Flash before securing Josef behind Brian on his horse. Her children settled atop the horses, she pulled herself up on her horse, comforted by her daughter's arms around her waist. The sky had brightened to a perfect, cloudless blue and the sun was drying the dew on the spring flowers that still smothered the slope down to the river. She flicked the reins and the three horses trotted away toward the reservation.

* * *

Night Crane waved to the approaching riders from outside her lodge, grateful for the visit. Apart from her aunt, Falling Dove, she would have been completely alone without Michaela. Falling Dove showed no compassion for her husband, which made it hard to accept her support. Worse, she continued to remind her of her earlier warning of the danger of pursuing a life with Running Wolf. Michaela empathized with her like no one else. Having experienced a similar separation from Sully, she provided the comfort and support she needed most, with no trace of judgment. Night Crane had never known a better friend. It would be hard to say goodbye and even harder to endure her daily life here without Michaela encouraging her when she felt as if she couldn't go on any longer. 

Michaela dismounted her horse, helped Katie to the ground, and rushed to her friend's side. "How is Eyes Like the Sky? The children told me."

Dorothy tied her horse to a post and greeted Night Crane. "It's awful what those boys did…picking on an innocent child. I'm sure Cloud Dancing set them straight."

"He is much better, thank you both." Night Crane watched the Sully children run inside to greet their friend. She thought about how her son had also never known better friends. Brian followed them into the lodge, feeling out of place beside the women. "Eyes Like the Sky is fortunate to have friends like Katie and Josef. You have much to be proud of."

"Thank you," Michaela replied. "I'd like to examine him?"

"It is not necessary. His wounds are healing well."

Michaela touched her arm. "I should still examine him, to be certain."

Night Crane moved closer to Michaela and Dorothy. There was a spark of life in her eyes, of some hope. "You may examine him later. For now, let him enjoy his friends and…I have news."

"The council?" Michaela guessed. Her hands were trembling with a combination of fear and eagerness. Dorothy held her hand near her heart, tense with hope.

"Chief Strong Bow has agreed to hold a council," Night Crane told them, pleased to have friends to share her news.

Michaela felt a small seed of optimism grow in her chest. In her excitement, she brought the young woman into a tight embrace. "That's wonderful news."

Dorothy patted her back. "Yes, what a relief."

At hearing excited voices, Brian exited the lodge to join his mother. "Good news?" he queried.

"The chief agreed to a hearing for Running Wolf," Dorothy explained, grinning.

"That is good news," Brian exclaimed.

Night Crane stepped out of the embrace, her face now revealing a sober expression. "I am relieved we will receive a hearing, but it does not guarantee anything. Strong Bow is angry, as they all are. They want to make an example of him. He only agreed out of deference to my uncle."

"Black Kettle?" Michaela asked.

"Yes. It is what he would have done. It is also how our people have always settled disputes. I explained how it would demean the Cheyenne to do otherwise now."

"I know you will make a persuasive case," Michaela reassured, reaching over to squeeze her hand.

"When are they gonna hold it?" Brian asked.

"Tomorrow," Night Crane replied. Over Michaela's left shoulder Night Crane spotted Cloud Dancing walking toward her, his steps quick and deliberate. She watched how he looked at her, scanning her with his eyes. They were eyes of obvious judgment. As he moved closer, every muscle in her body stiffened.

Michaela noticed the drastic change in Night Crane's demeanor and turned around, curious as to the cause. "Good morning, Cloud Dancing," she greeted in a friendly tone attempting to diffuse the tension. Seeing him here, she couldn't help but wonder if Sully had returned to their campsite.

"Good morning, Michaela, Dorothy, Night Crane," he returned, making eye contact with each of the women. "It is good to see you again, Brian," he said warmly, before turning back to Night Crane. "I have come to see Eyes Like the Sky. I want to examine his wounds."

"There is no need. Dr. Mike will examine him," she replied coldly. "I appreciate what you did for my son." Brian and Dorothy noticed how her mood had changed as abruptly as the onset of a sudden summer thunderstorm.

"Your son was an innocent victim. I am glad his friends thought to bring him to me," Cloud Dancing replied.

"We do not need you here." She heard the bitterness in her voice. She tasted it, too. "I know you urged Strong Bow against holding a council."

"You did?" Michaela and Dorothy said in unison. Brian stared at Cloud Dancing in disbelief.

"In your desire for revenge, you dishonor your Chief, Black Kettle," Night Crane accused.

Cloud Dancing let her continue hitting him with her words. With all that had happened over the past two days, it was all he could do to maintain his composure. "Despite what you may believe, my only desire is to seek justice for the Cheyenne lives your husband took, not revenge. His fate is now in the council's hands. You will abide by our decision."

"I will."

Cloud Dancing pivoted to face Michaela. "I could use your help."

"Of course," Michaela replied, wondering if his request had anything to do with Sully.

"I would like you to treat Running Wolf's injuries before he comes before the council," Cloud Dancing told her. As he spoke, he avoided looking at Night Crane.

"So you can hide what the Dog Soldiers did to him," Night Crane hissed, her eyes frigid.

"So he will be alive for his hearing," Cloud Dancing replied levelly. "I am told his injuries are bad."

Night Crane's body shook all over at the news. No one had let her near her husband since he had been taken. She wasn't even sure he knew about the council.

Michaela appreciated the opportunity to take leave of the oppressive tension. She had tried to treat Running Wolf earlier, but had been refused. "Let me get my bag and I will go right away."

"They will be expecting you," Cloud Dancing said.

Brian and Dorothy stood quiet and still. With subtle body language and eye movements, they were silently devising their own plan of departure from the uncomfortable surroundings.

"I never wanted this anger between us, Golden Feather." Cloud Dancing used the name he most fondly remembered her by.

Night Crane turned away from his eyes and looked down at the ground. "It is not what I want either, but as long as you wish my husband dead, there can be nothing else between us."

"I do not wish him dead," Cloud Dancing told her. "I wish to honor those who died at his hand."

Night Crane squared her shoulders. "There is no honor in murder."

Hectic color rose up Cloud Dancing's neck. "Haven't the Cheyenne suffered enough? For years we have endured the degradation from the whites - the lies, the treaties broken, and the cold-blooded murder of our people. Perhaps if we had joined together, as one nation, we would have been stronger, able to fight and prevent what has become of us. Instead, men like your husband aided them in our destruction. There is no forgiving that."

Night Crane's mouth was tight with anger and fear at the words he had just spoken. "All the native peoples have suffered. We are all victims of the war waged by the whites, all of us, including my husband."

After briefly checking on Eyes Like the Sky, Michaela exited the lodge with her bag. She was instantly aware of the escalation in the earlier tension. Cloud Dancing and Night Crane appeared to be squared off with each other like boxers in a ring. They no longer spoke, seeming to have run out of words. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, and to perhaps ease her own troubled mind, Michaela approached them. "Cloud Dancing," she nervously began. "I was wondering…have you seen…have you seen Sully this morning?"

Cloud Dancing turned in the direction of her voice, aware of the concerned lines etched in her face and the fatigue in her voice. He regretted being the cause of her anxiety. "I am sorry. I have not seen Sully since yesterday."

Michaela absorbed this new information as worry and pain tightened her chest. _"So, Sully had been with Cloud Dancing yesterday"_, she said to herself. From the shadow across his face at the mention of her husband's name and the hostility between Cloud Dancing and Night Crane, she was now positive that Sully and Cloud Dancing had argued. Otherwise why wouldn't he have returned? That meant Sully had changed his mind about Running Wolf. Unless, he hadn't changed his mind and didn't want to face her? The teeming brew of unanswered questions threatened to weigh her down. She pushed them aside to tend to her patient, hoping that Sully would return in time for the council. "I'll go to Running Wolf now."

"Please send him our love," Night Crane said, reaching for Michaela's hand. "Come back and tell me how he is."

Michaela squeezed her hand. "I will."

* * *

Brian and Dorothy left Night Crane's lodge shortly after Michaela. They discussed the possibility of interviewing members of the tribal council about Running Wolf's hearing, as they would have done at home on the eve of a major trial. Being white, and a friend of Running Wolf's, made it unlikely anyone would speak with them. Instead, they opted to leave their horses at the reservation to wander along the riverbank and discuss the upcoming hearing. They welcomed the opportunity to leave the oppressive sadness behind for a little while, sharing their views and catching up with each other. Until now, neither one had found the time to talk alone since riding in the wagon together on the way to Oklahoma. 

"Did you know Cloud Dancing was against holding a council?" Brian asked, after several minutes of silent reflection.

"No, I didn't," Dorothy replied, as shaken by the news as Brian had been. In her view, Cloud Dancing had always been a man of peace and impeccable fairness. The man she knew would never send a man to his death without a hearing. She had been equally surprised by the venom in his voice when he spoke to Night Crane.

"That don't seem like him." Brian walked with his head down as if studying the different types of rocks by the riverbank when, in truth, he was weighed down by the discovery that people were not always who he expected them to be.

Dorothy, who had lowered her expectations of human behavior long ago, searched for a reasonable explanation for Cloud Dancing's actions. "I imagine for every man, there's a limit…a point past which he can't bend anymore. After everything he's been through, I suppose learning this about someone you considered a friend, may have pushed him over his limit. It may be too much for Cloud Dancing to forgive this, or even try to understand what led Running Wolf to scout for the Army."

Brian sent a sidelong glance toward her. "Have you spoken to him?"

"Not since we learned about Running Wolf," Dorothy replied, tilting her hat to shade her eyes against the blinding sun. "We went for a walk a few days ago. He told me what he's trying to do here and how he hoped Running Wolf would help him. He respected him. Finding this out about him must have just devastated Cloud Dancing."

Brian wiped the perspiration from his brow. Though a light breeze came from the river, it provided scant relief from the midday heat. "Still, it don't seem like him to be against giving a man a hearing. Do you think Sully agrees with him?"

Dorothy had asked herself the very same question. "I don't know. Sully was as angry as I've ever seen him. Though I imagine Sully will have a hard time forgiving what Running Wolf did, he's not vengeful."

"Neither is Cloud Dancing," Brian retorted.

"I wasn't saying he was. I only mean that as much as Sully loved the Cheyenne, Running Wolf's crimes are harder for Cloud Dancing to bear. They are far more personal to him."

"Do you think Sully and Cloud Dancing had a fight over Running Wolf? Is that why Sully's not been around?" Brian asked. He had been searching for an explanation for his father's disappearance and given this new information, this seemed to be the only one that made sense.

"That's a distinct possibility, though I can't imagine Sully being able to forgive him either. Whatever possessed a man like Running Wolf to join with Custer?" Dorothy asked rhetorically, shaking her head in disbelief.

Brian skipped a stone into the river. It sank before the next rock he threw even skimmed the surface. "What do you think the council will decide about Running Wolf?"

"I'm not sure. Cloud Dancing is furious and he seems bent on revenge. That can't bode well." The unspoken possibilities hovered in the hot thick air. "When I was researching my book on Cloud Dancing, I learned it was customary for the chiefs to hold councils to settle disputes. But, murder was rare among the Cheyenne. When it occurred, if the murderer wasn't first killed by a member of the victim's family, the council usually sent him off to live in exile, often with another tribe. I'm not sure what happens now that they're living on reservations."

"I guess they have to make up new punishments. I've been thinking about if this happened in our world. Running Wolf would probably hang or be shot for treason like they were gonna do to Pa," Brian said with a sigh. As he sighed, his shoulders slumped and his face fell.

"Sully got a pardon," she reminded him.

"Do you think Running Wolf can get a pardon?"

"No, Brian, I don't," Dorothy said, knowing how bitterly angry the Cheyenne would be over Running Wolf's crimes.

In frustration, Brian threw another rock into the river. "I don't understand the point of killing a man to teach folks that killing is wrong."

Dorothy pondered a response. "If a man knows he will be put to death for a crime, perhaps he will think twice about committing it."

"Any man whose gonna commit that kind of crime isn't thinking about what will happen after," Brian replied. Frustration roughened his voice. "Dorothy, are you for hanging?"

"Under certain circumstances," she said, hedging a bit.

"Well, I'm not, under any circumstances."

Dorothy paused in her steps to face her young apprentice. "Brian, if you came home and found a man hurting Katie, what would you do?"

"If he was hurting her in the way I think you mean then I'd probably kill him."

"What's the difference if you kill him or the law does it?"

"I'd be doing it to defend my family. The other seems like revenge to me, pure and simple."

"It's not revenge. It's the punishment for the crime."

"Seems to me, a man suffers more if he spends his life behind bars. He never escapes his thoughts or his crimes. And there's a chance he'll choose a different life and try to make up for his crimes."

"Brian, most people don't change. They sit behind bars refusing to take responsibility for their actions."

"If you don't think people can change, and you support hanging, how come you don't want Running Wolf to die?" Brian resumed walking with firm and deliberate steps facing straight ahead.

Dorothy considered his question for a long time, realizing that her reason was subjective. She knew and liked Running Wolf. If it had been an anonymous man, she probably would be in favor of putting him to death. That truth caused her face to burn with shame. "I don't believe we know the circumstances of his joining with Custer. Like your ma says, if a Cheyenne like Night Crane can forgive him, then who are we to stand in judgment."

"I've been thinking about what my ma says, but I agree with Sully about this. There's no good reason for an Indian to work for Custer. Though, he genuinely seems to want to make amends...to help the Cheyenne."

"Brian, if you feel that way, why do you oppose the Cheyenne punishing Running Wolf?" Dorothy asked, turning the question back on him.

"I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished. I just don't think he should die. They need to figure out a different kind of punishment. The Cheyenne can't just forget what he did."

"Well, I suppose we'll have to wait for the council to learn the whole story. I'm only sorry we can't write about it." Dorothy paused, motioning for them to turn around and head back to the reservation. "Brian, have you given any more thought to your future since we've been out here?"

Yeah," he admitted. "I was gonna tell you on the way home."

"We're together now," she gently pressed.

"I'm leaving the Gazette," he said, pausing to gauge her reaction. Dorothy walked silently giving him time to continue. "I decided I want to travel for a while, and gain different experiences."

"Have you told your parents?"

"Yeah, they support me," Brian said, with a smile.

"I'm glad. Oh, this will be such a wonderful opportunity for you Brian. I'm almost jealous. You'll learn so much. You should write a book about your travels," Dorothy said, an animated tone in her voice.

"I just might," Brian replied. "Dorothy, do you think you'll write another book?"

"Since we've been here, I've been thinking about writing another book on the Cheyenne."

"You should."

"I just might," she echoed his words.

* * *

_The wolves were chasing him, their teeth bared and their yellow eyes glowing wild with revenge. He ran. He kept running as fast as his little legs would carry him. The pack of wolves began to close in on him, their angry snarls echoing in his head. In the distance, he could see his home, his loving family around the hearth. If his legs would push him forward, just a little longer, he would be safe, away from the wolves. Flickers of bright red and orange lights blinded his vision. He could see long hair, buckskin, feathers, and beads. One…two…three...four of them, he counted, all carrying burning torches. He paused in his steps, afraid to move forward, but he couldn't stop now. The wolves were gaining on him. He had to get home. In front of his house, he saw one figure lower the torch setting fire to the porch railing. "No," he yelled. The others lowered their torches setting fire to all sides of the house. "No," he yelled again, louder this time. No one heard his screams over the growling of the wolves and the hissing of the flames. Wolves were behind him; flames in front of him. There were no safe places, no where to go. Security was an illusion. _

Josef bolted up, covered in sweat, his body trembling all over. Shaken from the nightmare, he took several ragged deep breaths as he silently got to his knees and poked his head out of the tent to look around. There weren't any wolves. There weren't any Indians with burning torches. The campsite was serene and quiet. His mother was sleeping. As his eyes focused more closely on her, he saw she was sleeping alone, not with her back pressed snugly against his father's chest the way he usually found them in the morning. Josef crawled halfway out of the tent to look around for his father. He needed him. He needed to tell him about his bad dream. His eyes roamed over Brian's sleeping form, then across to Dorothy. Not seeing his father, he exited the tent and rose to his feet. His father was nowhere around. As Josef thought about it, he realized that he hadn't seen his father for a couple of days and he began to feel uneasy.

The nightmare had frightened him. The past few days had frightened him. His thoughts collided and bumped together in a crazy kaleidoscope of images. He no longer knew what to think about Running Wolf, Custer, the Indians, or anything. Everyone was sad or angry. Running Wolf had done something bad and the Indians came after him. He was frightened the wolves were going to come after him for getting Wolf killed. He needed answers, someone to explain it to him. That person was always his father. He wasn't here right now, and worse, he didn't seem to have the answers to his questions. He considered waking his mother. She always comforted him after a bad dream. This time, though, she didn't have the answers either. He thought his parents knew everything, and the idea that they didn't, scared him more than anything else. _"Who else could help me?"_ he wondered. A faint smile of recognition came to his face when he realized the name of the person that could give him the answers he sought.

He thought he knew where to find him. This wasn't like the last time. He had been to the reservation every day; he knew how to get there. Taking his first tentative steps in the dark, toward the reservation, he paused. _"I promised never to go off on my own again," _he remembered. He thought for a moment wondering if this was the same as "going off." Deciding it wasn't, but still careful not to worry his mother, he found a piece of drawing paper and scribbled a quick note in his large, awkward handwriting, telling her where he went. He quietly stepped closer to her and left the note in the space where his father usually slept.

Josef left, silently feeling his way in the dark. The darkness frightened him. He let the power of that fear sharpen his eye and quicken his blood as he went in search of answers.

_To Be Continued..._

_Wishing all of you a joyous Christmas and a very happy New Year! I'll be back with another chapter shortly after Christmas. _


	29. Chapter 29

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

Running Wolf was awake in the tepee that had served as his jail for almost three days. He had not slept for more than a few minutes at a time since being taken captive. He was afraid to fall asleep, afraid if he did, he might never wake up.

This morning, he felt better than he had since his terrible nightmare began, and for that, he had Michaela to thank. Yesterday, she had arranged for him to bathe in the river under the watchful eye of several armed Dog Soldiers. After he was clean, she disinfected and bandaged his wounds, placed a patch on his eye, and wrapped his broken ribs.

When she completed her work as a physician, she handed him a clean change of clothes and exited the tent to find him some food. After he was dressed, they shared a meal and talked. From her, he learned the incredible, but welcome, news that he would have a hearing before the tribal council. Michaela eased his greatest worry by reassuring him that his family was holding up as well as could be expected.

Running Wolf expressed his gratitude for her support of Night Crane. He told her about his visit with Sully, only to discover the disturbing news that she hadn't seen her husband for two days. Though he was reluctant to confirm her fears, he, too, believed that Sully's disappearance was related to a falling out he had with Cloud Dancing, over him. Aware of what Cloud Dancing meant to Sully, he deeply regretted causing a rift between them. As he thought about the accumulating pain he had inflicted on his family and friends, each one felt like splinters pricking his heart. He felt the sorrow move into him, and he didn't even wish it back out again, for the sorrow had joined with guilt as his constant companions.

Running Wolf was startled out of his thoughts by light coming through the flap of the tepee, followed by a loud thump. He blinked several times to focus his eyes on the identity of the intruder. "Josef? How did you get here?"

After tumbling into the tepee, Josef was back on his feet. "I walked," he said simply.

"Your parents will be worried," Running Wolf said, regretting to be once again contributing to their anxiety.

"I left a note," Josef replied from his spot near the front of the tepee. Frightened by the confusing images from his nightmare, and by the weakened appearance of his friend, he was reluctant to move closer.

Running Wolf suppressed a grin at Josef's innocence in believing that a note would be enough to ease his mother's fear once she found him missing again. "Why did you come?"

Josef shifted his weight from one small foot to the other as his eyes darted around the tepee, everywhere except at Running Wolf. "I got questions."

Running Wolf saw that the boy was bothered by something, and once again felt the familiar sorrow pool in his gut at how far the tentacles of his mistakes had reached. "What are these questions?" he asked tenderly. Though his hands were bound together in front of him, he used his fingers to wave for Josef to come closer and sit beside him.

Josef studied him a moment, hesitating, then walked toward him, taking a seat. He looked up at Running Wolf, finding relief in his calm, friendly expression. "Papa says Custer was a bad man." He paused, expecting a reaction. The Indian remained quiet, waiting for him to continue. "My teacher says he's a hero. I been thinking…if you worked for him, then he can't be that bad. I know you're not bad." Josef glanced at Running Wolf again, as if he needed a confirmation of his statement. None came. The silence made Josef uncomfortable, causing him to rush through the rest of his questions. "Does that make Papa wrong? It's not bad to stop Indians from burning houses and hurting families. But, it's bad to kill Cloud Dancing's wife and Brian's friend, No Harm. I don't think Papa's wrong. How can I know what's bad and what's good?"

Running Wolf's bound hands reached across for Josef's tiny hand. "You ask hard questions for one so small."

"I'm mixed up."

Running Wolf gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Most people are mixed up by questions of good and bad, even grown ups."

"They are?"

"They are. I'll answer your first question from my own experience. Custer was not a good man and he was no hero."

"He wasn't?" Josef said, leaning back to look up at him.

Running Wolf noticed how relief, then confusion, moved across his face. "No, he wasn't. For such little words, good and bad, carry a lot of weight. Both the Indians and the whites have good men and bad men. And sometimes even good men do bad things. Some Indians attacked innocent white families because they were angry about what was happening to them. Some white soldiers hurt Indian women and children. Both of those were bad."

Josef drew in his breath before asking his next question. "Did you kill the Cheyenne?"

Running Wolf let out a long breath before answering. "My job was to track Cheyenne war parties and tell Custer where they were, so they couldn't hurt white families settling out west. I never meant for innocent people to get hurt, but many did…because of me."

"I killed, too," Josef said, lowering his voice to nearly a whisper.

Running Wolf was taken aback. "Josef, who do you think you killed?

"Wolf."

"Who's Wolf?"

Josef leaned against Running Wolf's shoulder. "Wolf was a real wolf and part of our family. He been with my papa for a long time and I loved him."

Running Wolf rested his cheek lightly on the boy's head. "Why do you think you killed him?"

"I followed tracks I wasn't s'posed to and a big cat killed him. Wolf saved my life," Josef said, wiping tears from his eyes.

With his hands bound, Running Wolf couldn't provide Josef with the physical comfort he knew he needed. All he could do was hold his hand, and offer reassuring words. "Josef, didn't your parents tell you Wolf's death was an accident?"

Josef nodded, unable to speak.

"Don't you believe them?"

"It still feels so bad. If I never followed the tracks, Wolf would still be alive." He dropped his head into his hands.

Running Wolf knew exactly how Josef felt. He wanted to wrap his arms around him in a warm hug, but he couldn't. Instead, he improvised by leaning his body against the boy's hunched back. "Josef, we don't know that. Something else could have happened to Wolf."

Josef shook his head. "It's my fault. And now, the wolves are mad at me."

"The wolves?"

Josef turned his head around, his face a few inches from Running Wolf's. "I dreamed the wolves came after me for what I did, like the Indians came after you. They were real mad. They were growling with their teeth showing. Do the other wolves hate me because of what I did to Wolf?"

Running Wolf thought the boy's dreams mirrored his own nightmares. He knew Josef's raw emotions had been stirred up by hearing the accusations against him, and for that he felt terrible. "Wolf doesn't blame you, Josef, and neither do the other wolves. I'm certain he loved you, as much as you loved him."

"Ya sure," Josef asked in a tiny voice.

"I am." Running Wolf straightened his back and motioned for Josef to sit on his lap.

Josef crawled into his lap and leaned against his chest. "Does it ever get better?"

"Does what ever get better?"

"The bad feelings over what you did?"

"There's only one way I know to feel better," Running Wolf told him. His voice was soft and clear.

"How?" Josef raised his eyes to Running Wolf, expectantly.

"Every time you help any living thing - a person, an animal, or a plant - you will feel better. You can honor Wolf by trying to give back with kindness and goodness to those around you. Pay attention to your parents. Their example will guide you always," Running Wolf said, bringing his bound hands up to wipe the tears under the boy's eyes. Working each day to give back was what he had done, and would continue to do for as long as he was alive, in an attempt to make peace with his past. Though it hadn't eased his guilt, it had made it easier to live with himself.

"It felt good to help Eyes Like the Sky," Josef said, considering all Running Wolf had told him.

Running Wolf's eyes narrowed. "What happened to my son?"

Josef edged away slightly. "Uh oh, I shouldn't have told."

"What happened?" Running Wolf gently pressed.

Josef lowered his eyes to the floor of the tepee. "Some kids hit him. Me and Katie took him to Cloud Dancing. He's all right now."

"Will you do me a favor?"

Josef turned back to him again. "What?"

"Ask him to sneak in to see me as you have?"

Josef gave him a wide smile. "Yeah, I'll tell 'im." In his own confusion and guilt, he hadn't given much thought to seeing Running Wolf tied up. Now, though, the full force of the meaning in his bound hands and feet finally registered. His friend was a prisoner of the Cheyenne. "You gettin' a trial?"

"I am," he replied, still unable to grasp that reality.

"Maybe you'll get punished, like me," Josef said innocently.

Running Wolf was surprised Sully had punished him for what happened to Wolf. "Why were you punished?"

"I didn't listen to my ma and I lied about followin' the tracks. I had to do extra chores, sit quiet and think about what I did, and learn from the Cheyenne."

"I doubt I'll be treated that easy," he said, chuckling.

"Easy! It's not easy to sit quiet every day and think. That's how I got mixed up."

Running Wolf stifled a laugh. "I imagine that wasn't easy for you."

Josef looked down at his bound hands and feet again. "What are the Cheyenne gonna do to you?"

Running Wolf swallowed hard. He had no easy or appropriate answer to that question. "I do not want you to worry about me." He raised his hands to gently rub his back. "There is something I would like you to do for me."

"What?"

"I'd like you to return to your campsite now, before you worry your mother any further?"

Josef nodded. Then he threw his arms around Running Wolf, giving him a bear hug. "I feel better now. Thank you, Running Wolf."

Unable to return the hug, Running Wolf pressed his lips to the top of his head. "You're welcome, Josef."

Running Wolf couldn't help but think of Sully as he watched the boy leave. It was far more than physical similarities that they shared. Josef was brave, caring and sensitive like his father, and like his father, he had seen too much of the bad parts of life at a young age.

* * *

When Josef left the tepee, his mind was less muddled than it had been when he arrived. He headed through the tall grass in the direction of the campsite. The dew still glistened on the grass and the sky was cast in the pearly color of predawn light. Past the midway point from the reservation, he heard a noise. It sounded like a soft whimper. Pausing in his steps to listen, he heard only silence. Thinking he had imagined it, he resumed his trek through grass up to his knees, and after several steps, he heard it again. It was a low, pained, whimper from an animal. As he stopped to listen harder, Josef's heart beat faster. He wrapped his arms around his body because, in spite of the warm weather, the hairs on his back had risen, chilling him. After what had happened to Wolf, he had promised not to go toward unknown animals. They could be dangerous. Or, he thought, they might need help. 

Josef stood paralyzed in place for a long moment listening to the animal's plaintive cries as he tried to decide on an appropriate course of action. The longer he listened, he became convinced the animal was hurt and needed help. Conflicted about what to do, he weighed whether to run for help or go to the animal himself. His father had told him not to follow tracks if he didn't know the identity of the animal. But, these weren't tracks. This was an animal yelling out in pain. Running Wolf told him he needed to give back and help living creatures to make things right with Wolf. He considered his options again, thought about how his parents would respond, and made a decision. Bravely, he took a deep breath, and walked in the direction of the sound.

Josef gasped at the sight of a small wolf lying on his side writhing in pain, his left hind leg caught in a metal trap. It was a gray wolf, no older than a few months. He thought the wolf had probably just started to hunt on his own, away from his mother. Josef slowly advanced toward the injured animal.

"It's all right. Don't be scared," he said in a calm voice, as he moved closer, taking small, slow steps.

When he was about to reach down and touch the wolf, the animal reared his head back and growled, his mouth open with vibrating teeth. Josef jumped back, shaking. His dream was true. Wolf was mad at him. All the other wolves were angry with him, too. He couldn't undo what happened to Wolf, but he could try to help this wolf. With his body trembling and his eyes curtained by tears, he tried again. This time, he edged a few tiny steps closer to the animal then sat down in the long grass, as if to keep him company. He didn't make any sudden movements or reach out to touch him. He just remained by his side, still and quiet.

When he noticed the erect ears of the wolf relax, he began speaking in a low, soothing tone. "It's all right, boy. I'm not gonna hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt Wolf. I loved him." He saw the wolf look right at him with sad eyes as he spoke, and Josef remembered the story of the Wolf Helper his father had told them on the way to the reservation. That wolf understood the Indian who spoke to him. If he kept talking to this wolf in a comforting voice, maybe he would understand, too. "I can get the trap off you and, if you let me, I can take you to my mama. She's a doctor. She'll make you all better." Josef kept talking from his spot beside the wolf.

Unexpectedly, the wolf shifted his body and laid his head on Josef's thigh. The boy stroked his head gently as he got a better look at his injuries and determined how he might free him from the trap. When he thought the wolf had calmed enough for him to proceed, he pushed down, with all his strength, on the steel trap. It gaped open and the wolf's leg came free. With a whimper, his head drooped and rested on his forelegs. Josef carefully lifted him into his arms, his body swaying to steady his balance. Continually stroking the small wolf's head, he held him close to his chest and walked slowly back to the campsite.

* * *

Michaela tossed her medical bag over the saddle horn with one hand, as her other hand hastily struggled to tie back her unruly hair. Upon awakening from a restless sleep and finding her son's note, with the barely decipherable message that he had gone to the reservation, Michaela had no time to properly wash and dress or brush the tangles from her hair. Not having slept more than a few hours over the past two days had depleted her energy, and the shock of finding her son missing, along with her husband, left her ill-tempered. She had no idea where to find Sully, but she could do something about Josef. She would ride to the reservation and bring him back. 

Michaela closed her eyes, brought her hands to her face, and took a few deep breaths to steady her nerves. Finding Josef missing again had sapped the last of her strength. She couldn't do this alone anymore. She needed her husband. The urge to begin riding until she found Sully was so strong that her legs trembled, and it took some effort to focus again. At first, she understood his need for time alone to deal with his emotions about Running Wolf. However, the longer he was gone, the more acutely she felt the stirrings of a silent anger simmering within. And now Josef. She didn't know what had gotten into her son. It didn't seem possible that he could take off again, on his own, after his frightening experience of having been lost in the woods. Of all the traits she desired for Josef to acquire from his father, his tendency to go off alone was certainly not one of them.

After firmly instructing Katie to remain at the campsite with Brian and Dorothy, Michaela mounted Flash, urging her forward. Not even five minutes from their campsite, she spotted her son walking slowly toward her, swaying side to side from the weight of a heavy bundle cradled in his arms.

"Mama," Josef yelled. "You gotta help him." The boy moved a few steps closer to his mother, and then carefully placed the injured wolf on the ground.

Michaela jumped from her horse and rushed toward her son. "Josef, what did I tell you about going off on your own? You disobeyed me," she scolded. Her voice was shrill and she was completely unaware of the injured wolf.

Josef dropped his eyes to the ground as they filled with tears. "I went to see Running Wolf. Mama, I'm sorry." Josef brushed away his tears. "Please help him. He's hurt."

At the word, "hurt," Michaela finally registered the injured animal at her feet. She collected her medical bag and knelt beside the young wolf. The flesh on his left hind leg had been bitten off by the steel trap. His gray fur was caked with blood and she could see gnawed bone where the wolf had tried to chew his leg off. He must have been too weak because the bone was still in one piece. Too tired and hurt to put up a fight, the wolf surrendered to her care. As Josef held the wolf's head, gently stroking it and offering soothing words, Michaela tended to his injuries. Ensuring that none of his bones were broken, she disinfected and bandaged the wounds. What worried her most was the yellowish pus oozing from one of his deep cuts, a sign of infection. The best they could hope for was that, with rest, his body would be strong enough to fight off the infection. When she was finished, she lifted the wolf into her arms, instructed Josef to follow behind her with Flash, and carried him to the campsite. She found him a soft spot to rest by the campfire.

Brian and Dorothy approached her, and after inquiring about the wolf, they told her they couldn't wait any longer to leave for the reservation. Though Michaela was slightly annoyed they were going without her, she understood. This was the day of Running Wolf's hearing before the tribal council. With her hectic morning, she was now running late for the hearing. Assured that the wolf was resting comfortably with Katie and Josef by his side, Michaela walked to the river to clean the blood from her hands and to complete her morning routine.

By now, she had given up hope that Sully would return in time. It was unlikely he even knew about the council. She wished she had the wisdom of Sully's advice when deciding whether or not to bring the children with her to the hearing. At this moment, the idea of leaving them alone at the campsite didn't appeal to her, especially after Josef's actions this morning. Katie had pleaded with her to go. However, after much internal deliberation last night, she concluded that the hearing was not appropriate for the children, given the hateful words likely to be directed toward Running Wolf. Moreover, with the outcome so uncertain, she did not want them to witness their friend sentenced to his death.

When Michaela returned from the river, clean, and with slightly renewed energy, she walked toward her children, who were still holding a vigil for the wolf. "I'm going to the reservation. I need both of you to remain here. Do you understand?"

"I wanna go," Katie pleaded. "Please."

"I wanna stay here and take care of the wolf," Josef said, still stroking the animal's head.

Michaela sighed heavily. "Katie, we've talked about this. The hearing is not appropriate for children."

Katie scrunched up her face in displeasure. "If Papa were here, he'd let me go. He wants me to learn all about the Cheyenne," her daughter said defiantly.

Her daughter's words scraped her heart. "Your father's not here," Michaela said with irritation. "Furthermore, I happen to believe, if he were, he would agree with me in this instance. But, if he comes after I've left, please ask him to meet me at the reservation."

"What would I agree with?" Sully asked from behind them.

"Papa," Katie squealed, rising to her feet and throwing her arms around her father. Sully drew her into an embrace, though his eyes focused only on his wife, bracing for her reaction.

Michaela whirled around to face him, her head filled with a fury of biting and accusatory words. She wanted to yell at him for causing her worry, and for leaving her to handle everything alone. Even more, she wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him how much she needed him. Taking a hard look at him, she did neither.

As a habitual observer of his moods, she noticed his face was drawn from extreme tiredness and from the tumult of his emotions. He wore a shadow of a beard and his clothes were stained with sweat from days spent outside in the scorching heat. There was a sharp smell of leather, sweat, and grass. Taking in his forlorn state, her anger melted to empathy and worry. She reached out to place a comforting hand on his arm. "Are you all right?"

Michaela's loving touch, devoid of anger, caught him off guard. It left him reeling between relief and shame. He deeply regretted placing the worry in her eyes. Reaching across, he gently squeezed her hand that was resting on his arm. "I will be," he replied. Then he silently mouthed, "I'm sorry."

"Papa," Josef said from his spot next to the wolf. "I found him hurt. Running Wolf said I gotta take care of living things. Mama fixed him."

"What happened to 'im?" Sully asked Michaela, eyeing the young wolf.

"He got his leg caught in a trap. He almost lost it." She turned to her son. "Josef, this wolf's injuries are severe. He has an infection in his leg. I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"He's gotta get better. If I help other wolves, Wolf will forgive me."

Sully knelt to his son's side. "Joe, there's nothin' ta forgive. Wolf's not mad at ya. He loved you," he said, placing his arm around his shoulder. "I'm real proud of you for taking such good care of this wolf, though."

"Papa," Katie began. "I want to go to the reservation. Mama says no. Please can I go?"

Sully glanced at Michaela, uncertain about how to respond. "Kates, let me talk ta your ma. I'm sure she has a good reason for sayin' no." Sully rose to his feet and guided Michaela a few steps away to speak privately. "How long is Joe gonna keep blamin' himself for Wolf's death?"

Michaela studied the pained expression underneath his veil of fatigue. "I suppose as long as his father continues to blame himself for what has happened to the Cheyenne."

Sully averted her eyes. "Why don't ya want Katie ta go to the reservation?"

She touched his arm. "Sully, Night Crane convinced Strong Bow to convene the tribal council to decide Running Wolf's fate."

"They agreed ta hold a council?"

"Yes. And while under different circumstances, I might agree that witnessing the council would be educational for Katie, I don't believe it's a good idea at this time. I don't want her to hear what they are likely to say about Running Wolf, nor hear the verdict if it doesn't go our way." As she said this last line, she realized she had no idea about Sully's recent opinion on the matter, though she was fairly certain he did not support a death sentence.

Sully was silent for a moment as he considered how much he would have liked his daughter to witness the workings of tribal justice. In this circumstance, though, he knew Michaela was right. "I agree with ya. Katie's too young ta see that. Michaela, we gotta talk. Do we have time before the council?" Sully was unhinged over his argument with Cloud Dancing and from two days of overheated thinking.

Startled by the plea in his voice and the desperation in his eyes, she regretted having to say no. She reached up to place her hand on his shoulder. "There is nothing more I would rather do right now than talk with you, but Running Wolf's hearing is starting shortly. By the time you returned, I was already running late. I had a hectic morning. Josef ran off again, returning with the injured wolf."

Sully's eyes narrowed. "Where'd he go?"

"I believe he needed to speak with Running Wolf. He's confused, as we all are."

"We got a lot ta talk about," Sully said, cupping her face in his hand.

"We'll talk after the council. Sully, why don't you wash up quickly and then we'll head to the reservation."

On his way to the river, Sully paused in front of his children. "We want you both ta stay here while we're at the hearin'. I'm sorry, Katie, this isn't a good time ta come with us. Joe, I hear you wandered off again. We'll talk about it when we get back. Promise me both of you'll stay here 'til we get back."

"I didn't wander off," Josef protested. "I went to see Running Wolf. I left a note."

"Joe, the reservation's too far ta walk alone in the dark. You had your ma real worried. I want ya ta promise me you'll stay here."

"She was worried about you, too," Katie revealed.

Sully smoothed her hair. "I'm sorry 'bout that. Do I have your promise?"

"Yeah," they replied in unison.

"Take care of the wolf while were gone," Sully said, before departing to the river to make himself more presentable for the hearing.

_To Be Continued..._


	30. Chapter 30

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirty**

When Michaela and Sully arrived at the far edge of the reservation where the Cheyenne were holding the tribal council, they found it already in progress. Chief Strong Bow sat in the middle of seven men and one woman smoking a pipe. All eight members of the council sat with impassive faces listening to the charges leveled against Running Wolf. Cloud Dancing, who was seated to the chief's left, did not look up or in any way acknowledge Michaela and Sully's arrival.

Despite the stifling heat of this July day, a small fire burned in the center of the clearing. The smell of the smoke had been sweetened by sage and fanned over all those in attendance as a means of purifying and protecting the tribe from the heinous crimes committed. More than thirty Cheyenne had gathered to witness the council. Most seemed strangely subdued and contemplative, though several wore expressions hardened by anger. The council would hear all sides. At the conclusion of the charges, they would listen to arguments in Running Wolf's defense, and then render a verdict deciding his fate.

Running Wolf sat directly across from the chief, his legs and arms crossed in front of him, as if he was folding into himself. Night Crane was beside him, her hand resting lightly on his knee, her baby in her arms. This was the first time she had seen her husband since he had been taken into custody, and she knew that it was up to her, and her alone, to prevent it from being her last. Eyes Like the Sky was seated alone behind his mother. When Night Crane noticed Michaela arrive without her children, she knew that her friend had struggled with the same internal debate, as she had, about whether the hearing was appropriate for them. For Night Crane, it came down to a desire for her son to know that his mother had done all she could to save her husband, and to see how much she loved him. Whatever Running Wolf's fate, she hoped, in time, Eyes Like the Sky would find comfort in having witnessed her commitment.

At seeing Eyes Like the Sky, Michaela experienced a moment of doubt in her decision to keep Katie away from the proceedings. The boy looked so scared and alone as he sat with his shoulders slumped and his head bowed down. Her daughter's sensitivity and compassion would have brought him comfort and support. Taking Sully's hand, she guided them toward their friends. After taking a seat beside the boy, she placed her arm around his shoulder in a maternal gesture.

Sully let go of her hand and remained standing for a moment as his eyes searched the faces of the council members for any sign of their disposition. Their expressions gave nothing away as they listened to the angry words of Eagle Nest who had been speaking since they arrived. Sully made several attempts to make eye contact with Cloud Dancing, desperate for a sign that his friend's anger had receded since their heated words; the words that threatened to tear apart their friendship. Instead, his pleading eyes were met with cold, blank stares as Cloud Dancing concentrated on the hearing. Crushed, he lowered himself to the ground next to his wife. He reached for her hand and held it, needing to feel connected to his one safe place.

Eagle Nest continued to describe Running Wolf's crimes to the members of the council. He spoke in Cheyenne. It was a loud, booming voice animated by wild hand gestures that reflected his rage. He told of seeing Running Wolf with a known Osage scout following the trail of Black Kettle's band. He recounted their fight and his belief, at the time, that he had killed Running Wolf. Eagle Nest explained how, though injured, he got away in time to warn Black Kettle to move the camp. In a subdued voice, with his head lowered to the ground, he told of Custer coming into the camp on the Washita and slaughtering nearly everyone. When he saw Running Wolf again, he knew his failure to kill him that day had led to the betrayal and death of the Cheyenne.

Though he had only seen Running Wolf scout once, Eagle Nest charged him with every Cheyenne death at the hands of the white Army, from Sand Creek to Little Big Horn. To Eagle Nest, it didn't matter. As far as he was concerned, by working for Custer, Running Wolf was culpable in each and every massacre. As his speech came to an end, he urged the council to take his life as retribution for the Cheyenne lives he had aided Custer in taking. His remarks were met with whoops and hollers of agreement from many of the Cheyenne in attendance.

At hearing the charges that had been leveled against him, Running Wolf remained in place, his dark eyes fixed straight ahead, appearing unmoved. He sat like a lone rock in a raging river, letting the cold, hateful words rush past him, as he kept perfectly still, his face blank. An internal tornado ripped apart his insides as he heard his crimes embellished into lies. He didn't see any point in attempting to separate the truth from the lies. The truth alone, that he scouted for Custer, was enough to bring about his execution.

Throughout Eagle Nest's speech, Sully quietly translated for Michaela. His version only provided the charges against him, omitting the vengeful rhetoric. When Eagle Nest finished, Sully reached across, placing a hand on Night Crane's shoulder. "Let me tell 'em how he helped us," he whispered into her ear.

She shifted slightly to meet his eyes. "I need to do this alone," she replied, turning her face back to the council.

"It might help if more people spoke on his behalf," Michaela gently stressed in a hushed tone.

"Cloud Dancing knows what my husband has done if he chooses to make it relevant," Night Crane replied softly, her back to them. Shifting in her seat again, she focused her dark brown eyes intently on her friends. "These are my people. The Cheyenne need to hear about Running Wolf from me. I appreciate your support, more than you know, but this is my fight. I need to do it alone."

Sully placed his hand on Running Wolf's shoulder in a silent gesture of support. After hours upon hours of silent contemplation, he had come to the conclusion that Running Wolf was as much a victim of Custer and the white westward expansion as the Cheyenne. They had all been casualties of a war they never wanted to fight. However, this understanding had not yet brought him to forgiveness. Caught in a private internal struggle over whether forgiveness meant betraying the Cheyenne, the only conclusion he had drawn, with certainty, was that Running Wolf did not deserve to die. Sully believed the outcome that would do the most good for the Cheyenne, was one that allowed Running Wolf to find the redemption he had sought when he came to live with the tribe. In his gut, he feared the prospect for a second chance was slim, given man's inherent thirst for revenge, especially among those who have had their own hope extinguished. Though he had faith in Night Crane's ability to make the best case for her husband, he wondered if it would be enough to spare his life.

"Are you ready to proceed?" Strong Bow asked Night Crane. His tone was neutral, without judgment.

"Yes," she replied in Cheyenne. Taking a deep breath, she stood, handed New Promise to Michaela, and slowly made eye contact with each member of the council. Murmurs could be heard in the crowd calling her a traitor to her people. The chief quieted the group assembled and asked that they show her respect. When silence was restored, he nodded for her to begin.

"My name is Night Crane from the band of the Cheyenne led by my uncle Black Kettle," she began, her voice shaking. "I am also a survivor of both Sand Creek and Washita. I have seen the cruelty of the white Army toward our people. But, I have also seen the compassion of individual white men, including soldiers. Over the course of my thirty winters I have learned that rarely are any people all good or all bad." Before continuing, she directed a brief sidelong glance toward Michaela and Sully, finding strength in their reassuring eyes. "My husband, Running Wolf, is such a man." Night Crane went on to describe her husband's upbringing as a Crow warrior, the deaths of his father, brother, and wife, and his capture by the Army, which led to his agreeing to scout for Custer. "Though it doesn't excuse his joining with Custer against the Cheyenne, he only agreed to scout war parties, not villages with women and children. He did not tell Custer that warriors were camped with Black Kettle. In truth, Custer already knew that Black Kettle was camped along the Washita. Running Wolf tried to stop him from attacking the village."

"Liar!" a Cheyenne man cried out.

"Murderer!" another man yelled.

"It is the truth," she implored, her voice rising with her conviction. "When he saw what the Army had done at Washita, he walked away, making himself a target of Custer's revenge. By agreeing to scout Cheyenne war parties, he acted in the same manner as generations of Crows that came before him. He should not be condemned for doing what he was raised to do. How many of you remember the pride we felt when we stole Crow horses or killed a brave Crow warrior in battle? We were raised to wage war against the Crow, just as the Crow were raised to wage war against us." Night Crane paused, pleased to see the recognition and honor in the faces of the old ones who could still remember the great Cheyenne war parties against the Crows.

She continued. "My husband does not take innocent lives. He is not a murderer of women and children. I could not love him if I did not know his heart, and if I did not believe, with all my soul, that he has lived for years with the guilt and shame of his actions. Running Wolf desires to commit the rest of his life to making amends. No purpose will be gained from killing him."

Eagle Nest rose to his feet. "Men, women, and children are dead because of your husband. Babies were orphaned. Good people were bereaved because of him. Why should you not grieve as well?"

"I grieve every day for all our people have lost," Night Crane answered Eagle Nest. Turning her eyes back to the council members, she went on. "Honorable Chief and members of the council, I ask that you render a punishment that serves the Cheyenne people. If you find it in your conscience to spare my husband's life, we will surrender ourselves to your service." She paused to take the baby from Michaela holding him up to the council. "We offer our son, New Promise, to the Cheyenne people. He is our promise to work tirelessly on your behalf. Make that my husband's punishment – a life of atonement for his sins."

"I will close with the words of my late, great Chief. 'Although wrongs have been done to me, I live in hopes.' My uncle, Black Kettle, was referring to the wrongs done to us by the whites. Even in the face of those wrongs, he still desired for us to live in peace with the whites. Yes, wrongs have been done to the Cheyenne by the whites, by my husband, and by many others. But, let us live in hopes that the Cheyenne will survive in the same honorable way we have lived for generations. We will not survive by succumbing to revenge. Allow my husband to devote the rest of his days in the service of that survival, as all of you have. Since Washita, I have often wondered for what purpose I was spared. Standing before you, I now believe it was for this moment, to defend my husband and to live out my days in the service of the Cheyenne people." When Night Crane finished, she found it difficult to remain standing. Her impassioned plea had drained all her energy, making her legs wobble and her body sway. Though she had poured everything she had into his defense, she trembled with the fear that it might not be enough. Running Wolf rose up to steady her and helped her sit down. When she was seated beside him, he reached for her hand, squeezing it tight.

By the time Sully finished translating, Michaela dabbed at the water in her eyes, too overcome to speak. Regardless of the outcome, she knew that Night Crane could not have mounted a more compelling defense. She studied the demeanor of the council members who had huddled together to decide the punishment. From where she was seated, she heard an occasional loud word over the hushed voices and observed agitated movements. Throughout the entire proceedings, she didn't recall Cloud Dancing ever looking their way, and watching him now, deliberating with the others, she couldn't read his body language.

Michaela leaned over, whispering to her husband, "Can you understand what they're saying?"

"No, I'm only pickin' up stray words…not enough ta tell," Sully replied as he, too, kept intense focus on the council's deliberations.

At the end of the hearing, Brian had joined his father. "What do you think they're gonna do?"

"I don't know, Brian," Sully replied in a hushed tone.

Fifteen strained minutes followed in which no one spoke, as if voicing an opinion before a decision had been reached would somehow jinx the outcome. Each person devised their own rendering of justice based on the facts presented. Each drew their own conclusions from reading the expressions on the faces of the council members.

Finally, the council returned to their seats. Chief Strong Bow asked Running Wolf to stand, and then he began to speak. "These past years have made it difficult to live in hopes. It is good to be reminded of Black Kettle and his strong desire for peace with our enemy. To bring him forward once more I say, Running Wolf, we are different nations, nations who used to wage war against each other, but it seems you have learned, as I have, that we are one people."

At the positive start, Sully let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and squeezed Michaela's hand. He leaned close to her, repeating the words the chief had spoken, in English.

The chief continued. "The only punishment for contributing to the murder of the Cheyenne is death or exile. If it were the old days, I would exile you and your family to another tribe. Now that we are under the white government's control, exile is not an option."

Night Crane's face lost all its color and she shivered, concluding that they were going to send him to his death. Feeling Michaela's hand on the small of her back, she took several deep breaths and prepared for the worst.

"We can take him hunting…make it look like an accident," a Cheyenne man yelled out. Other men leapt to their feet in support.

Strong Bow stood and held his hands out over the crowd to silence them. When the crowd had calmed, he sat back down and took a long drag on the pipe. "Present times call upon us to devise new punishments, while still honoring the old ways. What I am about to say is the unanimous decision of the council. Any man who goes against his chief, in pursuit of his own revenge, will face severe punishment." The crowd began to murmur possible interpretations of his words until the parallel conversations drowned out the chief's voice.

"Silence," Cloud Dancing demanded. He was on his feet now attempting to subdue the crowd.

Strong Bow resumed communicating the sentence. "Running Wolf, we will spare your life and accept your promise of atonement."

The crowd erupted into whispers, some expressing shock and disapproval, others support. Again, Cloud Dancing quieted the crowd.

When the noise died down, the chief continued. "However, until we are satisfied with the evidence of your promise, you will live in exile in your lodge, only leaving it for works on behalf of the tribe or to meet the obligations of the Indian Agent. You will be an outsider. You will no longer seek the company of others in the tribe. Everyone is to shun you, until such time as I decide your exile is over. You will offer all your horses and other valuable possessions to the survivors of Washita. From this day on, you will hunt for food for the tribe and all but a fraction of your earnings will be given over to the tribe. Your children will be raised in the Cheyenne tradition. Do you understand what is expected of you?"

"I do," Running Wolf replied in a shaky voice.

"Very well. The council is concluded."

Running Wolf felt unsteady on his feet at the generosity of the verdict. Not expecting such mercy, he hoped no one noticed the glistening in his eyes. Stunned that he was now free to return to his lodge with his family, he embraced his wife. When he separated from Night Crane, he drew Eyes Like the Sky into his arms. Regaining some of his composure, he faced Sully and Michaela. "I do not know how to thank both of you," he said, aware of the little struggle in his throat.

"We didn't do anythin'. It was Night Crane's words that swayed 'em," Sully replied.

"You stood beside me when no one else would, despite what you saw at Washita," Running Wolf said to Sully. He directed his gaze toward Michaela. "And you gave Night Crane strength."

"You give me too much credit, Running Wolf. Night Crane is one of the strongest women I know," Michaela replied.

Night Crane took Michaela's hands in hers. "My husband is right. I drew courage and strength from your support and from knowing that once you and Sully understood the circumstances, you no longer despised Running Wolf. I started to believe I could convince them to spare his life."

"You did," Sully said with admiration.

"I wasn't certain at first. I was very frightened."

"Perhaps my deeds may someday earn forgiveness from the Cheyenne," Running Wolf said.

"It seems ta me, 'fore that can happen, ya first gotta forgive yourself," Sully said perceptively.

"It is not over. Many do not agree with the sentence and may cause us trouble. We will need to be careful," Running Wolf said. He was disappointed that they still needed to be on guard, but he didn't think he would know how to live any other way.

"The chief warned them not to disobey him," Brian added.

"Not everyone will listen," Night Crane said.

Michaela glanced over her shoulder to search for Cloud Dancing. She had hoped he might join them after the hearing. With Running Wolf's fate decided, it was time to tackle the rift that separated her husband from his best friend. She noticed Cloud Dancing conversing with Dorothy and the woman who sat on the council. For a moment, they made eye contact, but he quickly looked away, causing her worries to intensify. She turned her attention back to Night Crane. "Why don't we accompany you to your lodge and ensure that you arrive safely?"

"Thank you," Night Crane replied. The six of them began to walk toward the lodge. Several times, Sully glanced backward toward Cloud Dancing. Once, his eyes locked with his brother for a brief, uneasy moment. Before Sully could interpret the expression revealed in them, Cloud Dancing had turned away.

* * *

Back in their lodge, Running Wolf enjoyed his first full meal since being taken prisoner by the Dog Soldiers. It was a meager meal of government rations, consisting of dried beef and beans, which he found delicious. Food tasted better and the air smelled sweeter without a death sentence hanging over his head. Even the sight of the dark, musty cabin caused his heart to soar. This evening, he would relish being alive, surrounded by the people he loved most in the world. Tomorrow, they would sort through their possessions, those that hadn't been destroyed, as offerings for the families of the Washita survivors. In another day, they would plan how they were going to live here under the conditions established by Strong Bow. Until he could prove to the chief that he was truly dedicated to their welfare, he would be shunned. No one was allowed to socialize with him, and once Michaela and Sully left, they would lose their only friends. He deeply regretted having lost the respect of Cloud Dancing. But, amidst all he had lost, the most important part of his life was still intact, his family, and that was something he didn't think he would ever have again.

"I never thought I would be so happy to see this place again," Running Wolf said, raising another forkful of beans to his mouth. He ate with one hand as he held New Promise over his shoulder, his other hand gently stroking the baby's back.

Night Crane sat beside her husband, her hand on his arm. More than food or sleep, what met her needs was touch. She sat close to him, held his hand, and stroked his arm for reassurance that he was real. The days ahead would be difficult, but this evening, all that mattered was having her husband by her side and her children close.

Eyes Like the Sky sat across from his father pushing the food around his plate. Only when his mother looked in his direction did he make a half-hearted attempt at eating. He wasn't hungry; he was scared. Having his father home was good, but he didn't feel safe. Questions whirled around in his head. He wondered if his father would be taken away again and if they were still in danger.

Running Wolf noticed his unease. "What is it my son? Something troubles you."

Eyes Like the Sky met his father's gaze. "What's going to happen now?"

"We will live as we were. You will go to school and continue your Cheyenne lessons. I will go to work and do more to help feed and care for the tribe. Your mother will take care of our home and perform duties for the people. After a time, it will get easier," Running Wolf said. Their day to day reality would not be so neat and simple, but Running Wolf needed his son to find comfort in a normal routine.

"No one will speak to us," Eyes Like the Sky challenged.

"They will not speak to your father," Night Crane clarified. "Not everyone will be mean to you, my son."

"Why don't we go away? We can live like before," Eyes Like the Sky said. His tone, and the expression on his face, was pleading. The memory of his beating and the sight of his father being dragged away still haunted him.

"Because this is our home," Night Crane said firmly.

Running Wolf offered an explanation. "I owe it to the Cheyenne people to live among them now, to make amends for my past. Can you understand that?"

Eyes Like the Sky thought for a moment. "Is it because you worked for Custer, and he hurt the Cheyenne, that you need to help them…to make up for it?"

"Exactly," his father replied, pleased. "I hope you will never make the same mistakes I have. But, we all make mistakes. When we do, all we can do is learn from them and direct our future path toward good. Some men never learn from their mistakes and keep making them over and over again. We will not be like those men."

"We need to be careful," Night Crane warned. "Some of the people will be angry your punishment was not worse."

"For a time, we should not go places alone," Running Wolf said, repositioning the baby against his chest.

Eyes Like the Sky contemplated the floor. "I asked Katie and Josef if I could go home with them."

"You did?" his mother said, pained that he would consider leaving her.

"Is that still what you want?" Running Wolf asked, eyeing his son carefully.

Eyes Like the Sky raised his head to meet his father's intense stare. "No, not now. I don't want to leave you, but I'm afraid to stay here. What if those boys come back?"

"I will keep you safe, I promise," Running Wolf avowed.

"I wish Katie and Josef could stay here with us always," Eyes Like the Sky said.

"It is true, life would be better for us if they stayed, but this is not their home, nor do I wish it were. They have a home and a life to return to in Colorado." As Running Wolf said the words, he thought about how much he would miss Sully. Though he knew they weren't as close as they were before he learned of his secret, in time, he believed he could regain his trust and friendship. He regretted that they wouldn't have the time.

"Do you think we'll ever see them again?" Eyes Like the Sky asked.

"I do," Running Wolf replied. "Someday, you will leave this place and can visit with them, and perhaps they will visit us again."

"People return to those they care about and our families care about each other. That will never change," Night Crane added.

Running Wolf rose to lay the now sleeping baby in his basket beside the bedroll he shared with his wife. "It's been a difficult few days. We all need to sleep."

Night Crane cleared the dishes from the table and placed them outside the lodge. In the morning, she would carry them to the river and wash them. Eyes Like the Sky rose from the table to say goodnight to his father. He hugged Running Wolf tight and kissed his mother before retiring to his private corner of the lodge. The children in bed, Running Wolf quietly approached his wife from behind, placing his arms around her waist and nuzzling her neck. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear.

Night Crane turned around to face him, bringing her hands up to his back. "I did not want to live without you."

Running Wolf leaned in for a kiss. The taste of his wife's lips and the feel of her body molding into his sent his senses reeling. Alone in the tepee, he dreamt of this moment. He dreamt of holding her, kissing her, and loving her. Dreams were all he ever thought they would be. He took her hand and guided her to their bedroll of soft buffalo hides. Running Wolf was scared to sleep, scared to close his eyes, and scared of reliving his days as a prisoner, the pain and mental anguish constant. For a moment, they sat beside each other until his body began to crave physical closeness. He undressed, first removing his buckskins and then his shirt.

Night Crane regretted the small gasp that escaped from her lips at the sight of his bruised body. The bruises had spread like stains on a cloth. His assurance that the pain had lessened offered her only slight comfort. When he lay beside her, she drew him into her arms, kissing one angry purple bruise, then another, until her lips had soothed each one. Running Wolf rolled over her, resting his full weight on his elbows and kissed her fully on the mouth. His kiss was a deep and thorough melding of their mouths. When they broke apart, breathless, she touched his bandaged ribs.

"Is this a good idea," she questioned, her fingertips tracing the outline of the bandage. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It will hurt me more if I can't be with you. I need you," he said, his voice cracking.

"I need you, too," she affirmed. Another kiss silenced them both. Slowly, and carefully, their bodies came together, and they were transformed, each becoming as much a part of the other as their own hearts.

* * *

"They're asleep," Michaela whispered to her husband. She and Sully were seated inside the tent on either side of their children. The wolf was curled up beside Josef, the boy's arm draped across the animal's small body. After an evening of answering their children's questions, and easing their concerns about what had transpired at the tribal council, both parents wanted to ensure that the children felt safe and secure as they drifted off to sleep.

Sully exited the tent first, and then turned back to his wife. "Everyone's sleepin'." Michaela emerged from the tent, and when she was at his side, he took her hand. Together they walked to their bedroll which was positioned away from the others for greatest privacy. "Michaela, we gotta talk," he said as soon as they were seated.

Michaela brought her hand to his face and stroked it. "Sully, you're exhausted. You haven't slept in days. We'll talk in the morning? Now, you need to lie down and rest."

"It won't hold," he said. Despite how badly his body longed to lay on the inviting bedroll, he knew he wouldn't rest until he told his wife what he needed to do.

"Very well," she said uneasily, unable to read his mood. "So much has happened in the past few days that we haven't talked about. I know you visited Running Wolf. I have to assume that altered your earlier position. Do you agree with the council's decision?"

"He didn't deserve ta die. At the same time, the Cheyenne couldn't just forget what he did. Strong Bow found the right punishment."

"And, what about Cloud Dancing?" She broached the subject tentatively.

Sully remained quiet for a long moment, his eyes fixed on the trees in the distance. He heard the dry, crisp sound of the wind rustling the leaves.

Michaela reached over to touch his hand. "Tell me."

Sully absently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Finding it difficult to voice the pain in his heart, he swallowed hard. "He thinks I betrayed the Cheyenne."

Michaela squeezed his hand. "Oh Sully, I'm certain he doesn't believe that. Discovering the truth about Running Wolf stirred up raw emotions in all of us."

It was quite a while before Sully raised his eyes to hers. "There's somethin' I gotta ask ya."

"What is it?" Something about the expression in his eyes caused a hard knot to form in her chest.

"Michaela, I…." He was afraid suddenly to follow through on what he was so sure of. Taking a deep breath, he continued. "I…I don't wanna leave."

"Sully, of course we won't leave until you and Cloud Dancing resolve your differences."

"I mean, I want us ta stay…ta live here," he told her, bracing for her reaction.

"Live here?" she repeated. It was as if she didn't understand the words.

He eased closer to her, taking both her hands in his. "This is right for us, Michaela. I know it is. You can be their doctor. I can help 'em hunt an' raise cattle. I could even start a woodworkin' business. The kids fit in here an' have friends. I want us ta build a new life here, near the Cheyenne."

"Never return to Colorado Springs?" The air around Michaela grew heavy and she found it difficult to breathe. On a day when she thought their life might return to normal and they could begin to make plans to go home, Sully had turned her world upside down.

"We can visit," he said, offering a crumb of appeasement.

"What about my practice, all our friends, the children's education?" She pulled her hands from his, sat up stiffly and folded them in her lap.

"Jason can take over your practice. You can be a doctor anywhere, Michaela. The Cheyenne need you more than the folks in Colorado. We've never had better friends than we have here. As for schoolin', the kids can go to the reservation school," Sully argued, drawing on carefully rehearsed responses that he had spent time developing. As he spoke, he was careful to catch the rise in his voice so as not to wake the others.

"Sully, I don't understand. Where will we live? How will we earn money? The reservation won't pay me to be their doctor. Katie is advanced in the school at home. Her education will suffer if we live here," she stressed.

"We'll figure it out," he said, resolved.

"I'm not willing to give up everything again, with no prospects. At least the Yellowstone job made sense. This…"

He cut her off. "Ya didn't wanna do that either. When does what I want matter, Michaela?"

"It matters," she said, wounded by his accusation. "Of course it matters, but staying here doesn't make sense. Sully, you're searching for something with the Cheyenne that isn't there anymore. If they are going to survive, they need to do it themselves. You can't be their white savior."

He turned his back on her in frustration. "That's not what I'm doin'."

"What are you doing, Sully? After Palmer Creek, the Indian Agency won't hire you to work on this reservation. Their future lies with Strong Bow, Cloud Dancing and the others. Night Crane saved Running Wolf's life. We didn't. We need to let them go."

"I can't," he choked out.

Michaela noticed the deeper alteration in his mood and softened her response. "Sully, the Cheyenne will always be our friends. They will remain an important part of our family. I'd even like to visit with them again. But, we can't build a life here. I don't want to watch this place break your heart a little more each day."

"They're my family," he said in a strained voice. "I owe 'em so much."

"I thought we were your family?" she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Sully turned back to her, framing her face in his hands. "You are. You know you are. I don't wanna do this without ya."

"I would support you in this if I knew what purpose it would serve. There is nothing you can do for the Cheyenne that they are not already trying to do themselves. You have important work at home, work that can make a real difference in the lives of future generations. I can't stay here Sully. I can't."

"I can't leave."

Michaela impatiently turned away from him, realizing they were at an impasse. It was a chasm she didn't know how to cross, since she did not want to stay in Oklahoma. "We're not going to settle this tonight. We both need to sleep."

Sully, too, knew there was nothing more to discuss this evening. He reclined across the soft skins, turned his back to his wife, and closed his eyes that had grown heavy from fatigue. Moments after his head hit the skins, he was breathing deeply.

Michaela watched his slow and even breathing for several moments then stretched out beside him. She broke from her nightly routine by not kissing him goodnight, pressing her body against his, or taking his hand. Instead, she remained on her back, staring up at the stars, feeling as if she were lying beside a stranger, their separate universes revealed in the distance between their bodies. Though drained of all energy, she had reached the point at which tiredness itself prevented sleep. Patiently waiting for sleep to claim her, she began identifying the constellations in the night sky, as she considered the choice in front of her. Lose the life she worked so hard to build in Colorado Springs or lose her husband.

_To Be Continued..._

_Happy New Year everyone!! May 2007 be a happy and healthy year for all of you!_


	31. Chapter 31

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Michaela rose early, having gotten almost no sleep during the night. Careful not to rouse anyone, she made coffee and took a seat by the fire. Staring blankly into the crimson flames, she wrapped her hands around the cup as if embracing its warmth. The rare solitude provided her with an opportunity to reflect on her conversation with Sully. Each time she replayed his request over and over in her mind, parsing and analyzing each word, she tried, in vain, to alter its meaning. After more than an hour of unsettled contemplation, the camp began to come alive. Brian was the first to join her for a cup of coffee, followed by Dorothy. By the time the children emerged from the tent, breakfast was already cooking over the fire. Only Sully continued to slumber in a deep unconscious state, brought on by prolonged sleep deprivation and emotional turmoil.

"You seem tired, Michaela. Did you sleep all right?" Dorothy asked, slowly taking a sip of the steaming hot brew.

"Not really," Michaela responded, pausing to pour herself a second cup of coffee. "I suppose my mind couldn't stop thinking about the past few days." Determined to avoid her friend's probing stare, she kept her eyes downcast by stirring the oatmeal.

Brian sat across from his mother drinking his coffee. "Now that Running Wolf's hearing is over, when are we going home? I'm eager to get back so I can make plans for my trip."

Not expecting this question so soon, Michaela startled, dropping the spoon in the oatmeal. It sunk down into the thick pasty substance. She quickly retrieved it, but not before catching Dorothy's concerned gaze boring into her. "Soon, Brian." Regaining her composure, she continued. "I'm going into town today. I want to send Jason a wire. As he's expecting me back any day now, I need to inform him that our return will be delayed."

"When will you tell him we'll be home?" Dorothy held a bowl out for Michaela to spoon the hot cereal while she took a good, hard look at her friend. Michaela's eyes were tinged with red, and dark half-moon shaped circles ringed them like a raccoon. Her shoulders slumped in a posture that suggested defeat. Dorothy expected to find her friend in better spirits after the council hearing. Seeing her now, she wondered if something else had happened since then to alter her usually steady disposition.

"Soon," she said, ladling the oatmeal for Dorothy before filling two bowls for Katie and Josef. Michaela had planned to tell Jason that their trip home was delayed, and as soon as she knew when they were leaving, she would wire him again. At hearing Brian and Dorothy's eagerness to return home, she knew telling them the truth would lead to more questions, for which she had no answers, at least not yet.

"How come Papa's sleeping so long?" Josef asked. He stared with concern in the direction of his father's still form. Despite all the noise from the morning's activity, Sully hadn't stirred.

"He's tired," his mother said simply. At this moment, she had difficulty setting aside her festering irritation with his demand to find sympathy for his worn out state.

"I'd like to come to town with you, Michaela," Dorothy said. Her motivation had less to do with completing errands than in getting to the bottom of her friend's strange behavior.

"All right," she replied. Her agreement was forced and she struggled to hide her disappointment at not being left alone. The day was only a few hours old and already Michaela felt overwhelmed. In the time alone with her thoughts, she had mentally prepared for the day ahead, willing herself to remain composed and natural. That was proving more difficult than she anticipated. Now that everyone was awake, and expecting her to act normally, she found each question and comment grating on her nerves.

"Mama, the wolf seems better today," Josef said, holding out a piece of dried meat for the animal. The wolf inched closer on his forelegs, sniffed the meat, but didn't take it.

"Come on, eat it," the little boy begged, wiggling the meat in front of his nose.

"Josef, he does seem improved today, but we must let him rest so he may regain his strength. His appetite will return once he feels better,' his mother explained.

Katie looked up at her mother. "Can I go to the reservation and visit Live in Hopes?"

"May I," Michaela corrected her curtly. "I'd prefer for you to wait until your father wakes up, and if it's all right with him, it's all right with me."

Brian gulped down the last of his coffee. "I'm going to the reservation soon. I can take Katie."

"I'd rather all of you wait for your father," she said firmly, too overwhelmed to make even the most mundane decision. Unable to endure another moment of small talk, Michaela abruptly rose to her feet. She saddled her horse with rapid, disjointed movements. Dorothy watched with mounting concern as Michaela dropped her saddlebag, spilling the contents onto the ground. Afraid of being left behind, Dorothy rose to saddle her horse for the trip into town. Brian and Katie looked on as their mother gathered the supplies with noticeable frustration, wondering what had caused her irritability. When Michaela finished readying her horse, she walked toward her children, giving each one a kiss on the cheek. She instructed them, one last time, to obey Brian and wait for Sully to awaken. Impatient to leave, she turned around and walked briskly back toward her horse.

Sully stirred, squinting as he tried to open his eyes. He blinked several times at the intrusion of blinding bright light. The heat of the sun told him he had overslept while his back told him he had spent too long on the ground. A cacophony of voices filtered into his mind, telling him everyone was awake and probably had been for hours. He pulled himself up into a sitting position, massaged his lower back and neck before stretching his arms out to the side. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Michaela hurrying in the direction of her horse. He quickly got to his feet. Approaching her from behind, he grasped her arm, turning her around to face him. "Where ya goin'?" he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Her body stiffened. She had wanted to be gone before he awoke. "Dorothy and I are going into town. I need to send a wire to Jason."

"What are ya gonna tell 'im?" He raked his hands through his sleep tangled hair as he studied his wife. There were deep circles under her eyes and her face was pale and drawn from sleeplessness and worry. He regretted having been the cause of her restless night.

"That our return home is delayed," she said, turning around to leave again.

Sully held onto her arm to prevent her from leaving. "Is that all?"

Michaela lowered her eyes to the ground and inhaled deeply. "I will stay longer, Sully, for you. But, I don't want to build a new life here. I don't."

He let go of her arm and brought his fingers under her chin, raising her face to his. "Don't decide yet. Promise me you'll think about it."

"I thought about little else all night," she revealed, unable to meet his gaze. She pivoted around, shielding from his sight the tears that threatened to spill from the surface of her eyes.

With her back to him, he tenderly squeezed her shoulder from behind, pressed his lips against the warm back of her head, and then whispered into her ear. "We can make it work. I know we can. We'll all be real happy here."

Hearing that Sully hadn't changed his mind, and knowing that she hadn't changed hers, she had a desperate need to escape the campsite. Rather than continue talking, when she could see no mutually agreeable outcome, she had to do something, anything other than contemplate changing her life. She reined in her emotions and glanced back at him. "Would you stay with the children while I'm gone?"

"Sure." With a slight wave, he watched her walk away, mount her horse and ride off with Dorothy. Disturbed by the pain he saw etched across her face, he remained frozen in place, transfixed by the two retreating figures on horseback. He watched them until they became smaller and smaller, disappearing into the horizon. As he stared off toward the grasslands, he shook off the possibility that she might not agree to stay. When grass was all he could see in the distance, he stepped back toward the campfire. "Any coffee left?" he asked Brian, taking a seat beside him.

"Here," Brian said, handing him the last of the coffee. Noticing that the lukewarm, bitter remains barely filled half a cup, he put on a fresh pot.

"Thank you."

"You want oatmeal?" Katie asked her father.

"That'd be good."

Katie ladled a bowl of oatmeal for her father, handing it to him. "Papa, Mama said I could go visit Live in Hopes if it was all right with you."

With his mind still focused on his wife, it took Sully a moment to register his daughter's request. "Katie, let me wake up some more and then we'll all go to the reservation. I haven't spent much time with ya these past few days. I missed ya."

"I missed you, too, Papa," Josef said. He brought his arms around his back, hugging his father from behind. "You think the wolf's gonna be all right?"

Sully glanced at the young wolf curled up by the fire. "What'd your ma say?"

"He needs rest," the little boy answered.

"Then ya gotta let 'im rest." Sully reached over and scratched the wolf behind his ears, causing the animal to look up at him quizzically. "Joe, if he gets better, he'll wanna go back ta the woods."

"No, I'm gonna take care of him," Josef insisted, protectively placing his arm across the wolf's body.

Sully drew his brows together into a frown. "He belongs in the woods with the other wolves. When he's strong enough, he's gonna join another pack. I want ya ta be prepared."

"Why would he leave?' Katie asked. "Wolf stayed with you."

"Yeah, he won't leave," Josef said, stroking the animal's gray fur.

"That was different. Not all wolves are like Wolf," Sully said, bringing a spoonful of oatmeal to his mouth.

Brian offered an explanation. "Wolves are pack animals. They need to be with other wolves."

"Why?" the little boy persisted.

"They just do," Brian said. "It's their nature."

Sully brought Josef into his lap. "Joe, ya want the wolf ta be happy don't ya?"

"Yeah."

"Then ya gotta let 'im decide where he wants ta live. Ya need ta be prepared ta let 'im go." As Sully said these words, he thought of his wife. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy.

"He's gonna stay, just like Wolf," Josef said confidently. "We'll be his pack."

Sully and Brian shared a concerned look. "Ya saved his life. But ya gotta let 'im choose where he wants ta live," his father told him. "Givin' 'im his freedom is the greatest gift you can give."

From across the fire, Brian noticed Cloud Dancing riding into their campsite. "Hey, Cloud Dancing." Brian stood and hurried over to greet the medicine man.

"Cloud Dancing!" Katie called, jumping to her feet. She ran toward him, hugging him tight. Josef followed behind his sister. Only Sully remained by the fire, sipping his coffee, his stomach twisted in knots.

"Ha Ho," Cloud Dancing said. He ambled toward Sully with an arm around each of the younger children. Noticing that his friend only briefly glanced up to acknowledge his presence, he turned his attention to the wolf. "Who is this?"

"He was caught in a trap," Josef said. "I freed him and brought him to Mama."

Cloud Dancing grimaced. "Where was this?"

"Between here and the reservation," Josef said, returning to the wolf's side.

"It was either the soldiers or the cattlemen," Cloud Dancing muttered to himself, disgusted by what men did to animals. "Is the wolf going to be all right?"

"Mama says he needs his rest to get strong again," Josef said. He sat back down beside the wolf and scratched the top of his head.

"Your mother is a good doctor. Listen to her. Then perhaps this wolf will be for you as Wolf was for your father," Cloud Dancing said. He was surprised by the disapproving looks he received from both Sully and Brian.

"See Papa, even Cloud Dancing thinks he'll stay with me."

The reasons for the stares now evident, Cloud Dancing modified his words. "Josef, he might choose to stay with you, but he also might want to return to the woods. If you love him, you need to leave him free to decide.

"That's what Papa said," Josef replied, his eyes downcast at the thought of losing his new friend.

"Your father is a wise man," Cloud Dancing said, looking directly at Sully.

Sully glanced in his direction. There was so much he wanted to say. Instead, he sat mute, his tongue twisted, uncertain about where to begin.

"Sully, I was hoping we could…could talk," Cloud Dancing said. Registering the chasm that now stood between them, he became concerned that he had pushed him past the point of no return.

"I'll take the kids to the reservation," Brian offered, to be helpful. For the first time, he sensed the uneasy interaction between the two men.

"We'll all go, and when I get the kids settled, I'll come by your lodge," Sully told Cloud Dancing. He tossed the bitter remains of his coffee into the fire and poured a fresh cup.

"I will see you later," Cloud Dancing said. Having no reason to stay, he turned around and headed back to the reservation. He had taken the first small step. Alarmed by the depth of hurt he saw reflected in Sully's eyes, he wondered if it would be enough.

* * *

"Michaela, is something wrong?" Dorothy observed her friend staring at freshly picked corn in the local market as if she had never seen it before. From the moment they left the campsite, Michaela only spoke in reply to a question, her responses short and clipped. Throughout the morning, she seemed distracted and disinterested in carrying out their errands.

"I'm fine, Dorothy, just a little tired," she replied. She pulled apart the silky hairs of the husk, examining the corn with little interest.

"I'd say you're more than a little tired, Michaela. Please tell me what's got you so upset," Dorothy urged, with a touch to her arm. Michaela took a deep breath in an attempt to hide her emotions. It was no use. In seconds, pools of hot tears collected in her eyes. "Oh dear," Dorothy said, as she guided her from the market to a wooden bench on the side of the building, away from curious eyes that might pass through town. "Come, sit down and tell me what's wrong."

Michaela brushed her knuckles across her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You have to talk about it. Is it Sully or one of the children? Please let me help you."

"You can't," she choked out. Michaela leaned forward, pushing her face into her hands. She didn't want to talk about it. Somehow voicing the words out loud would make this problem real, and making it real would make it something she had to deal with. Even more, she didn't want to cry, but once the tears spilled over, there was no way to make them stop.

"Tell me," her friend said, her voice demanding.

Michaela raised her head, taking a few ragged breaths. "Sully wants to stay."

"Stay? You mean longer?"

"For good."

Dorothy brought her fingers to her cheek in an expression of shock. "And you don't."

"I don't," she admitted, shifting in her seat to finally face her friend. "Truthfully, Dorothy, I don't even understand why he wants to stay."

"What did he tell you?"

"That he wants us to build a new life here, helping the Cheyenne," Michaela explained, once again bringing her hand to her face and swiping at the moisture. Spasms of fear shot through her body when she thought about building a future in Oklahoma.

"Why now? What does he think he can do?"

"I don't know," she said. The tone in her voice revealed her bitterness and frustration. "Just last week, he wanted to return home. I can't dismiss the notion that this is somehow related to Cloud Dancing. You saw him yesterday. Did he say anything to you?"

Dorothy reached over and took her hand. "I'm sorry, Michaela. He didn't say anything about Sully. But, I sensed tension between them at the council."

"Sully told me that Cloud Dancing believes he betrayed the Cheyenne. But, I know that's not true."

"You think that's why he wants to stay, to prove something to Cloud Dancing?"

"I've considered the possibility," Michaela said, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

Dorothy placed her arm across her back. "Cloud Dancing would never accuse Sully of hurting the Cheyenne. The two of them just need to talk and clear up this misunderstanding. Everything will work out, you'll see."

Michaela could not share Dorothy's optimism and changed the topic of conversation. "What about you and Cloud Dancing? You've been spending more time together."

Dorothy accepted her friend's desire to steer the conversation in another direction. "It's gotten easier. Learning about his marriage hurt. I won't lie and say it didn't. But, this is right for Cloud Dancing. I could never stay here, Michaela." As she said those words, she noticed the pained expression on her friend's face and she wanted to snatch them back and swallow them. "I've enjoyed being with him again, as a friend. He told me all about the work he's doing for the children. What we had began with my writing and that's where it's going to end. He's helping me with an article I'm writing about the reservation. When we get home, if I have enough material, I might even write a book. People need to know how the Indians are really living."

"That's wonderful, Dorothy," she said, sitting up straight. "Then you've accepted his marriage?"

"Yes," she said, a little too quickly. "I'm glad Cloud Dancing will have someone to share his life with. I met Two Voices. She seems like a nice young woman."

"I hope they'll be happy. Cloud Dancing deserves some happiness after all he's been through."

"He does." Dorothy hesitated for a moment, deciding to return to what was still unspoken between them. "Michaela, what are you going to do?"

Taken aback that the topic had returned to her, she hesitated, trembling from exhaustion and worry. Her silence was so long, Dorothy contemplated repeating the question. Eventually, with a tired sigh, Michaela answered. "I agreed to stay until Sully and Cloud Dancing repair their friendship."

"And after that?"

"I honestly don't know. I can't live here, Dorothy. I don't think it's right for me, the children and most of all Sully. He can't recreate what he once shared with the Cheyenne." Michaela hesitated as bits and pieces of their conversation invaded her mind. "He doesn't think I care about what's important to him."

"He doesn't mean that," Dorothy reassured.

"I'm afraid he does." There was a vibration in her voice. "He accused me of always having to get my way and he blames me for his decision to turn down the Yellowstone job."

"I recall you told him you'd go."

"Yes, but he knew I didn't want to." Michaela leaned back against the bench, turning her eyes skyward. "Perhaps this is something I have to do for him," she murmured, feeling a tremor at the corner of her mouth.

Dorothy placed her hand over Michaela's. "But, you don't want to."

"No."

"Michaela, I don't mean to make this worse for you, but I'm ready to go home. I've gotten what I came for. Brian's ready, too. Would you mind if I spoke to him about returning home with me?"

"I understand, but could you give it a few more days? By then we'll know how long we're staying on."

"All right. I'll give it a few days. Why don't we buy that corn and head back to the campsite?"

Michaela rose from the bench, facing her friend. "Dorothy, I would like some time by myself. Would you mind returning to the campsite without me?"

"I don't mind, but where are you going?"

Michaela noticed the look of anxious concern on her friend's face. "Not far. I just need time alone to think about all of this. I can't do it with everyone under foot. Please tell Sully I'll be back soon, and let him know I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Michaela," her friend observed.

Michaela looked away from her friend's worried expression toward the ground. "Please, Dorothy. I need this. And don't say anything to Sully about our talk. I need to be the one to speak with him."

"Of course."

"Thank you."

_To Be Continued..._


	32. Chapter 32

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

Sully had agreed to meet Cloud Dancing at his lodge after he found a diversion for the children. When he arrived at the reservation, he left Katie with Live in Hopes, and then he brought Josef to visit Running Wolf and his family. He shared a cup of coffee with his friends before leaving his son to play with Eyes Like the Sky and making his way across the far side of the Indian Agency.

As he approached Cloud Dancing's lodge, he saw him sitting outside carving a piece of wood. The closer he got, the stronger the tightness in his chest became, until he could hardly breathe. In all the years he had known Cloud Dancing, even in times of discord, Sully had never felt this uncomfortable. He realized this discomfort came from the fear that Cloud Dancing had hardened from his years of living as a prisoner on the reservation. Sully thought if he remained here, helping him and the Cheyenne, he might be able to heal the rift between them while making a difference for the Cheyenne. Yet, a part of him also wondered whether their friendship would ever be the same.

When he reached Cloud Dancing, Sully was unable to read his expression. Hesitant to prompt him, he silently took a seat on the ground next to him. For a long time, they sat wordlessly, staring off in the distance. There were so many things they needed to talk about, but neither of them seemed ready to begin. Not yet able to meet his eyes, Sully focused his gaze on the industrious work of a western tanager constructing her nest. He watched the bird fly back and forth with twigs and leaves in her mouth, the nest taking shape before his eyes.

Cloud Dancing was the first to break the uncomfortable silence. "It is not the first time I allowed my hate to drive us apart." He brought his blade across the wood in several long strokes.

"First time was when Jake shot Little Eagle," Sully recalled. His voice was low, barely above a whisper.

"I do not know when I will learn that my hate is wrong." His tone was laced with regret.

"Ya had a right ta be angry," Sully said, considering his words carefully. He crossed his legs in front of him, his hands resting on his knees.

"Angry, yes…not consumed by hatred and revenge."

Both men measured their words as the icy tension between them began to thaw. It was the start of a delicate truce and neither one wanted to say a wrong word or stray comment that could be misconstrued. With each tentative statement, their words were full of so much more than they were saying.

Sully broached the subject of their discord first. He continued to watch the bird build her nest, finding it easier to speak without making eye contact. "Have ya made peace with the council's decision 'bout Runnin' Wolf?"

Cloud Dancing ran his knife across the wood several times, taking a few moments to collect his thoughts. "Strong Bow argued the same as you did. I could not hear it then. My desire for revenge deafened me to wisdom."

After a long moment, Sully voiced the words that had taken him some time to accept while wrestling with his own feelings of betrayal. "Runnin' Wolf won't let ya down."

In Sully's voice, Cloud Dancing heard the sincerity of his conviction along with the unease of having shared it with him. Knowing that he had put the unease in his tone brought him terrible remorse. "I believe you are right. At the same time, we needed a sacrifice from him for the Washita survivors."

"For what it's worth, I think the council made the right decision," Sully said.

Cloud Dancing was relieved they had both come to the same conclusion about Running Wolf. Both men remained side by side for several silent moments, staring out into the ocean of grasslands, still not quite ready to make eye contact.

Though they had started down the path toward forgiveness, they both knew it would take more time to completely mend the hurts inflicted in their last angry conversation. Cloud Dancing was consumed by a desire to pull back all the disgraceful words he had spoken to his closest friend, as if he had never said them. Knowing that he couldn't blot out the harsh statements filled him with incredible regret and sorrow. Sully, too, had open sores that would take time to properly close. He had concluded that remaining in Oklahoma gave them the best chance to heal completely.

Sully pivoted in his seat, finally ready to face his friend. "Cloud Dancin', I got somethin' ta tell ya." He hesitated suddenly as Michaela's pain-darkened features filled his mind. A spasm of fear crept up his spine and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. "We're gonna be stayin'."

Cloud Dancing set his wood to the side and turned toward his friend. "I do not understand."

"Michaela an' me, we're gonna stay an' help ya," Sully said with more hope than knowledge.

"Michaela wants this?" Cloud Dancing doubted.

Sully stared at a spot in the air above Cloud Dancing's head. "She didn't take ta the idea right off," he admitted quietly. "We need ta talk more, but if she agrees, you'll have a doctor all the time ta help ya take care o' your people."

"What about the children? The closest white school is over a hundred miles away."

"At first they'll go ta the Cheyenne school, then we'll figure somethin' out. Bein' here's been real good for 'em. They've both grown so much. And, they already have friends here." Sully's voice rose to drown out the disturbing questions invading his mind.

Cloud Dancing's eyes narrowed. "And what will you do?"

"Whatever ya need. We can get that herd started. I know a bit about ranchin'," Sully said.

Cloud Dancing grew uncomfortable. "What about your job protecting the land?"

"I wanna help the Cheyenne…help ya survive," Sully said. His chest tightened as the carefully rehearsed answers to these same questions, that he had given Michaela last night, now seemed naively simplistic in the bright light of day.

"Sully, I do not want you to sacrifice your life based on the foolish rants of a man blinded by hate," Cloud Dancing told him before looking away in shame.

"I'm not, Cloud Dancin'. You were right. I haven't done nearly enough for the Cheyenne. Compared ta what you lost, I've lost nothin'."

Cloud Dancing returned his gaze to Sully. "So now you will give up your life and make your family miserable to prove to me how much you are willing to suffer?"

Sully shot up from his seat and reared his head back as if he had been struck. "It ain't like that. We won't be miserable."

Cloud Dancing rose to his feet and stood directly in front of him. "How can you say that, when I am?" He lowered his head to the ground and dropped his voice to nearly a whisper. "I do not want this for you."

"I wanna help you an' Runnin' Wolf…all o' ya," Sully pleaded, his face twisted with emotion.

"This is not your path." Cloud Dancing said. He felt the guilt rise up inside him for having demeaned Sully's commitment to the Cheyenne, pushing him into making such a rash decision.

Sully placed his hand on his shoulder and stared him in the eye. "I thought you'd be glad 'bout this."

Cloud Dancing looked at him with an expression on his face that Sully didn't recognize. It was sorrow mixed with shame. The words he spoke next did not come easily to him. "Sully, in my blind hatred, I lashed out at you for standing beside Running Wolf, who, at the time, I could only see as my enemy. In my desire for revenge, on both of you, I attacked you where I knew it would hurt you the most. It was dishonorable." He paused, swallowing hard. "Sully, no one has done more for us than you have. I would not be alive today if it were not for you. At times, I forget the debt I owe you."

"I owe you so much more'," Sully said, his voice catching with emotion.

Cloud Dancing drew in a long breath. "I am ashamed to admit that, at times, I am jealous of the freedom you have to move between our two worlds. I have never felt at ease in yours. That you found love again and built a strong family fills me with great happiness. The work you do to protect the land for our grandchildren is the correct path for you. Do not throw it all away to repay a debt you do not owe. I have done enough harm. I do not want to be responsible for ruining your life, or driving you away from your family."

Cloud Dancing had a talent for disarming him with the truth when he was buried in denial. Sully rubbed his hand across his temple to ease the early signs of a headache. "You won't."

He advanced a step closer. "What do you think you can do? The Cheyenne are doing all we can. We must use our own voices now. Sully, I want your friendship, but please do not give me your life."

"I wanted ta help ya," Sully said, his voice wavering.

Cloud Dancing looked away, ashamed. "I know what I said to you, and I am sorry, sorrier than you will ever know. You have nothing to prove to me." He raised his eyes to Sully's and placed his hand on his shoulder. "Your spirit always has, and always will, go with the Cheyenne. Please do not do this."

Sully took several deep breaths to settle his emotions. He started to speak, but couldn't.

A great sigh shook Cloud Dancing to his core. "Sully, please think about what you are sacrificing, what you will be putting your family through. Staying here with me is not the correct choice for you. Promise me you will think more about this before deciding."

Sully hadn't expected this reaction from Cloud Dancing. He had been so sure of his conviction last night. It had seemed to be the only path that made sense. This morning, the clarity of his decision had clouded over and his thoughts had a reeling, tenuous quality. "I already thought a lot about it," he said defensively.

Cloud Dancing's brows were drawn together in concern. While he was relieved the tension between them had dissipated, he was profoundly disturbed by his announcement. Even more, he felt responsible for driving Sully into making a decision that he would live to regret. For now, though, he would accept it and pray to the spirits that he might reconsider. After a long while, he spoke. "If you are going to stay here, there is a favor I must ask of you."

Unnerved by the storm of confusion in his head, Sully breathed a small sigh of relief that Cloud Dancing has ceased his protests and changed the subject. "Anythin'."

"When a Cheyenne man marries, he does not have what you call a best man. But, I would like you to stand beside me when I wed…be my best man."

Sully was moved and he gave him a brief hint of a smile. It took a moment before he trusted his voice. "Of course. I'd be honored. When's the weddin'?"

"Soon. I will let you know."

"I hope Two Voices makes ya real happy Cloud Dancin'," Sully said, patting him on the back.

"Thank you, my brother." The two men moved tentatively toward each other to embrace. It was a warm hug that communicated a mutual recognition that their healing had begun. Though some sores were still raw and would need time to properly mend, in this moment, they both silently acknowledged that together they had taken the first steps on the road toward repairing the rift that had threatened to come between them.

* * *

Katie placed the arrow against the bow. With her first and third fingers positioned correctly on the arrow, she pulled the string back and let go. The arrow soared straight in the air, falling to the ground just short of the target. "I missed," she said, stomping her foot in frustration.

"You're good for a girl," Live in Hopes told her, as he readied his bow for his turn.

"I can hit it. I'm just out of practice," she excused, miffed by his reference to her gender.

Live in Hopes pulled back on his bowstring and released his fingers, letting the arrow go. It traveled fast and straight through the air, ending with its point securely lodged into the lower right corner of the target. It was far short of the center, but it was the first arrow to hit the target all day. "Your turn. See if you can beat that," he gently challenged.

Katie walked toward the tree they used as a target and retrieved the arrows. On her way back, she counted the paces, going over in her mind how hard to pull the bowstring to hit it this time. Like her mother, she became even more determined when challenged, especially when someone, usually a boy, doubted her ability. "I'm gonna show you this time."

Live in Hopes stifled a laugh at the serious expression on her face as she readied her arrow. "Katie, you don't have to try so hard."

"I wanna show you I can do it," Katie said stubbornly. It was a stubbornness and determination she came by honestly.

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders and looked over at him. "I don't know. I guess I don't like it when folks think girls aren't as good as boys."

Live in Hopes leaned against a tree admiring her drive. "They're not as strong as boys."

"Maybe not, but they're just as smart. I'll hit it this time." She positioned her feet and lifted the arrow up to the bow. Taking another moment to spread her feet apart, she pulled the arrow back with all her might and let go. It moved fast and straight, heading directly for the center of the target when it veered off course, landing in the grass.

"That was better, but your wrist moved. Otherwise you would have hit it," Live in Hopes said, impressed. He let out a laugh at the sight of her dejected face still staring at the target, as if she couldn't believe she missed it. It was a deep, infectious cackle and soon Katie joined him in laughter. He advanced a step toward her as a knot of anxiety, which had occurred with greater frequency when he was in her company, pulled tight again. For over a week, he had spent nearly every day with Katie, yet in recent days something inside him had begun to change, causing him to occasionally feel awkward and tongue tied around her. "I'll stand behind you this time. We'll do it together so you can feel how your elbow and wrist should be."

"All right," she said, walking back toward the tree to retrieve the arrow.

As she got into position again, Live in Hopes stood behind her, his hands circling her waist before coming up to rest over her fingers on the arrow. Being this close to Katie, her soft hair cushioning his cheek, and the faint smell of roses filling his nostrils, he forgot about the game. He closed his eyes to enjoy these new sensations.

Katie felt his hands slack against hers. "You're not paying attention," she scolded.

Live in Hopes' eyes snapped open. Shaking his head to clear it, he firmly placed one hand over Katie's, steadying her wrist and ensuring that her elbow was perpendicular to the arrow. "Do you feel how your arm is supposed to be?"

"Yeah, are you ready?" Katie asked impatiently. Together they pulled back the string and let go, watching as the arrow landed near the center of the target. "We did it," she squealed in delight. Live in Hopes chucked at her mirthful enthusiasm. Katie turned around to hug him as her laughter erupted into a high pitched giggle. Inches away from his face, a host of unfamiliar feelings invaded her senses, quieting her.

Live in Hopes placed his arms around her back, steadying her, and gazed into her eyes. They were now so close to his. Looking into them he realized that he had never seen more beautiful brown eyes, one an almost imperceptible shade lighter than the other. Unsure about what to do, Live in Hopes smiled softly and reached for her hand. Together they eased themselves to the ground knowing that something had changed between them, though neither quite knew what it was.

Katie, too, felt different inside. The first word that came to mind was happy, but it was a new kind of happy. It wasn't the same happy as when she did well on a test, heard the song of an unfamiliar bird, or went riding with her father. This was something unique and she wondered if happy was even the correct word for it. It was a long moment before one of them spoke.

"I wish you didn't have to leave," Live in Hopes said, bringing their joined hands to rest in his lap.

Katie wasn't in a hurry to leave now either. "We're not leaving right away," she said, having no idea when her parents planned to return home.

"But, you are leaving."

"Yeah."

"I'll miss you."

Katie thought about how, for the past few days, when she woke, her first thoughts were of Live in Hopes and when she would see him again. In a short time, he had become her best friend. "I'll miss you, too. We can write each other and we'll see each other again."

He turned to face her, wondering if he would ever see her again and, if he did, would he still be living on a reservation. "My writing will get better. My father is letting me go back to school." He let go of her hand and stood up, motioning for her to stay seated.

"Where are you going?"

"Just stay there. I'll be right back." Live in Hopes walked around the tree to gather sunflowers he had seen growing wild.

"What changed his mind?" Katie asked, raising her voice to be heard.

"I did what your father said. I told him why I wanted to go to school and that I won't forget I'm Cheyenne." He returned to stand in front of her holding out a bouquet of big yellow sunflowers.

As she accepted the flowers, Katie felt her cheeks flush as her eyes drifted shyly toward the ground. No one had ever given her flowers before. Her father brought her mother flowers all the time, and having a boy give them to her now, made her feel a little more grown up. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. The yellow reminds me of your hair." He sat back down beside her.

Katie held the flowers to her chest inhaling their sweet scent. "There's something I'd like you to do for me after we leave."

"Anything."

Katie cast her gaze toward him. "Don't agree yet. It's big and it's something you won't want to do."

He noticed the serious expression on her face and once again the familiar knot twisted in his stomach. "What is it?"

"It would mean a lot to me if you would help Eyes Like the Sky after we're gone. Be his friend."

Live in Hopes was silent for a long time as he considered her request. He thought he would do anything for Katie, but now he wasn't sure. His father had explained the council's decision and asked him to be fair. Still, he couldn't help wonder if his birth parents would still be alive, along with the parents of his friends, if Eyes Like the Sky's father hadn't worked for Custer."

As if reading his mind, Katie's words filtered into his thoughts. "Custer would have found Black Kettle's village with or without his Pa. He would have found a way to attack the Cheyenne. And besides, Eyes Like the Sky isn't to blame."

Live in Hopes turned his head, meeting her encouraging eyes. "If it is that important to you, then yes, I will be his friend."

Without thinking, Katie leaned her head against his shoulder. "Thank you. In time, you won't just be doing it for me. You'll like him."

"I know." He tilted his head so it rested lightly against hers. They remained quiet for a long while enjoying each other's company.

"We should head back. My Pa will come looking for me," Katie said, breaking the tranquil silence.

Live in Hopes rose to his feet and held his hand out to help Katie up. "Will you take a walk with me tomorrow?"

"I'd like that."

"Can I hold your hand until we get near my lodge?" he asked shyly.

Katie smiled at him as a blush once again stained her cheeks. "I'd like that, too."

* * *

Michaela sat on the cold, hard surface of the cave with her arms wrapped around her knees, staring at the changing artist's palette of colors along the canyon wall. The wall was bathed in the last throws of golden light from the setting sun. Her own foundation threatened, she found solace in the canyon's solid, imposing granite walls. Though they experienced constant change from the effects of wind and rain, their alterations were subtle from decade to decade, so unlike her own life, with its frequent seismic shifts in direction. Overhead, a red-tailed hawk soared high in the air, calling out shrill, sequential rasps of joy. She scanned the sky for another one, because usually when they made that sound, they were mating.

She hadn't planned on returning to this place. When she left Dorothy around noon, she raced Flash through the open prairie grass as fast as the horse would carry her. Out in the vast open land, she found perspective in her insignificance along with exhilaration from the feel of the wind whipping across her face and hair. It was as if by riding, and riding, never stopping, she could avoid answering Sully, and forever postpone charting a new course for their future. Before she was even aware of it, Flash was climbing higher and higher into the canyon, as if a mystical force had guided her to this place. When the canyon narrowed, thwarting the horse's safe passage, Michaela tied her to an outcropping of rock on the side of the stone face and continued the rest of the way on foot. Upon entering the cave, she was overcome with a sense of serenity and warmth.

From her seat on the ground, Michaela wrapped her arms more securely around herself as a rush of warm, loving memories filled her to the brim with happiness. Closing her eyes, she could almost feel her husband's touch against her skin and his lips grazing her body. After a long time remembering, Michaela noticed that the sky had turned from blue to gray. Night would follow swiftly. If she had any chance of returning to the campsite before dark, and before she worried her family, she had to leave now. Yet she made no attempt to move. Inside these walls, she found peace and comfort. Outside, only confusion and turmoil.

No, she wouldn't leave yet. She wasn't ready and she hadn't made a decision. If Sully could go off on his own for days at a time, and expect her to understand his nature, then didn't she deserve the same courtesy? Just for tonight, she would be selfish. She would spend the night in this safe place, reliving every moment she spent here with Sully, in thrilling detail. The time they spent in this cave would be forever inscribed in her internal scrapbook to be called upon when she felt lonely or afraid.

Questions of whether to stay or go invaded her thoughts, and as the hours ticked by, their frightening implications occupied more of her mind, intruding on her warm recollections. In desperate need of a distraction, she reached for her saddlebag and removed the moccasins she had been making for Sully. While in town, she had purchased the last set of beads she needed to complete them. She began working on them weeks ago, with much needed guidance from Night Crane, and to her great surprise, she found comfort in the steadiness of the work. As she finished affixing the last of the red beads onto one moccasin, she felt as proud of it as she had been of Katie's christening gown. The work calmed her. She reached for the second moccasin, deciding to spend this evening on simple tasks. In the morning, she would turn her thoughts once again to the more complex topic of her future.

The future. The word seemed ominous somehow. Long after completing the moccasins, she was still unable to shut off her mind. Over and over, she considered her options, from all different angles, not finding satisfaction in any of them. Then, as if finding the last clue to a mystery, she came to the realization that the notion of choice was an illusion. The choice before her had never been a life here with Sully or a life in Colorado without him. There was, and always had been, only one decision she could make.

If Sully was intent on staying here to help the Cheyenne, then she and the children would stay, too. They had spent far too much time apart during their marriage. That time apart had taught her that she didn't want to be without her husband and she didn't want her children to be without their father. If this was important to Sully, then she would give this new life a chance. Together they had always overcome whatever obstacles were in their path, and together they would try to make this work for their family. If it didn't, she was confident that _together_ they would make the decision to return to Colorado Springs.

With nothing left to decide, worry took the place of confusion in her mind. They were worries about how they would build a satisfying life here, where they would live, whether they would be happy, how long they would try, and if the Cheyenne's constant struggle for survival would wear down and ultimately destroy her husband's hope, as she feared it was slowly doing to Cloud Dancing.

All these colliding thoughts had left her with a terrible, throbbing headache. Michaela curled up on her side along the hard floor, hoping to quiet her mind by escaping into oblivion. As her body folded into itself, she clutched the moccasins tight to her chest. Her eyes brimmed, the water spilling over and scorching a hot path down her face. Perhaps the tears would silence the discomforting voices in her head, allowing her to sleep, and for a few hours, forget that her life was about to change.

_To Be Continued..._


	33. Chapter 33

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

Sully had managed to lose all track of time while visiting with Cloud Dancing. When he finally returned to the campsite with the children, they were late for supper. He had an urgent need to talk with Michaela, but he knew that would have to wait until the children were asleep. As he entered the camp, the notable absence of the eagerly anticipated aromas of roasting meat and vegetables caught his attention first. Instead of the usual flurry of activity that accompanied mealtimes, he found the camp deserted, the fire cold, and supper not even started. Scanning the area for his wife, Sully could only locate Brian. He was seated on the ground, skinning a rabbit, seemingly unaware that they had returned.

"Hey, Brian, is that supper?" Sully asked. He watched how he cleaned the rabbit with quick, economical movements of his knife.

Brian raised his head at the sound of his voice. "I caught it a little while ago. It didn't seem we had anything except the corn Dorothy brought back from the market."

Sully knelt down to start the fire. "Where's your ma?"

"I haven't seen her," Brian replied. With a final incision, he removed the rabbit skin in nearly one clean piece.

Satisfied that the fire was ready, Sully rose to his feet. "I'll check the river. She's most likely gettin' water or washin' up." He turned away, heading in the direction of the river.

"Papa, he's gone!" Josef cried out. Upon returning, the first thing Josef had done was check on the wolf, only to find him missing. The little boy ran out of the tent, tears staining his cheeks, as he ran in frantic circles around the campsite in search of the wolf. "He's gone."

Katie sauntered into camp clutching the sunflowers to her chest. She had lagged behind her father and brother, lost in a daydream. At seeing her brother so upset, she snapped out of her reverie. "What's wrong?"

"Seems the wolf's gone," Sully said, pausing in his steps. He kept his eyes peeled on the surrounding area looking for the young wolf. When Josef was about to run past him again, he extended his arms to intercept his son. "It's all right. You took real good care of that wolf. Ya made it possible for 'im ta join up with another pack."

"He's gone?" Katie repeated, disappointed. She poked her head into the tent, making sure he wasn't inside hiding under the bedding or buried beneath Josef's clothes that were strewn about in a mess. While inside the tent, she carefully laid the flowers across her bedroll.

"You think he was well enough to go back into the woods?" Brian asked. His eyes roamed across the campground in search of the wolf."

"Looks like it," Sully said, crouching down to console his weeping son.

Josef sobbed into his father's shirt. He wept so hard his whole body heaved and he gulped for air. "I don't want him to be gone."

Sully held him to his chest, rubbing his back. "I know it hurts, Joe, but the wolf's better off."

Josef recoiled from his father, his face scrunched up in outrage. "No…he's…not." His words were strangled by heavy sobs and he stopped to catch his breath. "He could get his foot caught again. He could get hurt. I can take good care of him." He collapsed, folding his body into a ball on the ground and burying his head in his hands. Katie came over, knelt down next to him and placed her arm across his back.

Sully lowered himself completely to the ground, beside his son. He stroked the back of his head and tried comforting him. "I know ya would, Joe. That wolf's gonna be fine, thanks ta you." Josef's tears continued flowing uncontrollably as both his father and sister did their best to console him. Eventually, he cried himself out and sat up, taking a few heaving breaths.

Convinced that Josef had calmed down enough so that he could leave his side, Sully rose to his feet, scanning the area once more for his wife. It puzzled him that she still hadn't returned. Since the river wasn't that far from the campsite, he was sure she would have hurried back at the sound of her son's hysterical cries. With no sign of her anywhere, he told the children to remain where they were, while he went looking for her by the river.

When Sully reached the riverbank, he noticed Dorothy seated alone, her back hunched over, writing in her journal. Without speaking, he darted his eyes from one end of the water's edge to the other, but he didn't see Michaela, or any of her belongings to indicate that she was nearby. Quietly, he approached Dorothy.

Dorothy startled at the noise from behind, snapping her head around. At the sight of Sully, she held her hand to her chest. "Don't you know not to sneak up on folks? You gave me a start."

"Sorry. I was wonderin' if ya seen Michaela?" Sully stood in front of her with his arms at his side. It was after seven o'clock and everyone was back at the campsite except his wife. He felt the early stirrings of unease from deep within his chest.

"She's not back yet?" Dorothy asked, unable to hide the concern in her voice. She closed her journal, stood, and stepped closer to Sully.

Sully noticed the anxious look that passed across her face and heard the tremor in her voice. "Back from where? Didn't you both go into town?"

"Yes, but…" her words trailed off. There was an unspoken alarm bell in the air between them, almost visible.

Sully felt his fear building at her demeanor and from what she wasn't saying. "What is it Dorothy? Where is she?"

Dorothy's eyes slid off his face in an evasive manner. Then she busied herself by smoothing the front of her dress.

"Dorothy," Sully pressed.

She reluctantly raised her eyes to his. "She said to tell you that she needed time alone and that she was fine. But, I was sure she'd be back by now."

"How long ago was that?"

Dorothy brought her fingers to her face. "Oh dear, let me think. She left me…now when was that…I know…it was around noon."

"Noon!" Sully repeated, louder than he intended, as panic crept into his voice. "That was seven hours ago. Did she say anythin' else Dorothy?"

She cast her eyes toward the ground and sighed. "She made me promise not to say anything."

Sully looked hard at her, his eyes moving over her face as if he would find an answer there. "She told you?"

"She didn't want to. I practically had to force it out of her. She was so upset," Dorothy said.

"I need ta talk ta her. Do you know where she went?"

"No. I'm sorry, Sully. I wish I did."

"What direction did she head in?"

Dorothy became flustered. "I don't remember. I never imagined she'd be gone this long. You don't think something happened to her?"

"I gotta find her, Dorothy. Will ya stay with the kids?"

"Of course, but how will you find her?"

"I got an idea 'bout where she might be. If I'm right, it's too far ta ride at night. We'll be back in the mornin'."

"What if you're not right?"

"Then I'll keep lookin'. I'm gonna find 'er." He spun around to head back to the children, but not before turning back to Dorothy one more time. "Make sure there's someone at the campsite in case she comes back before I get ta 'er."

"Of course."

"Papa!" A voice called to him from the distance. "Papa, come quick."

As Sully registered Josef's urgent call, his only thought was of Michaela. What if she had ridden back injured or sick? His heart thumping, he turned and ran as fast as he could. Dorothy rushed back behind him, unable to maintain his pace. Sully raced into their campsite, out of breath and panting, stopping short at the sight of the wolf. The small animal was on the ground being held protectively between his two children, each of whom had big grins on their faces.

"He came back," Josef said, smiling from ear to ear. From the expression on his face, his father could hardly believe that, only minutes ago, he had been inconsolable. Josef had his arms around the wolf petting him and kissing the top of his head.

Still breathing heavily, Sully pushed down the terror that had risen to the surface, and emitted a loud chuckle. It was an involuntary noise that came out as an awkward booming laugh that camouflaged his surging panic as to the whereabouts of his wife. "So he did." He walked toward the children and crouched down to scratch the wolf on the head. "Listen, I'm glad the wolf came back, but right now I gotta go find your ma."

"Where'd she go?" Brian asked. He took note of the anxiety in his father's eyes that he tried unsuccessfully to hide.

Katie noticed his worried expression, too. "Is Mama all right?"

Sully patted her head. "She's fine. There's somethin' we gotta talk about is all."

"About going home?" she perceived.

"Yeah, how do ya feel 'bout goin' home?"

"I wanna go home," Josef said. "But only if the wolf comes with us."

"I like it here," Katie said, her thoughts drifting once again to Live in Hopes.

Sully brought her into an embrace, kissing the top of her head. "I like it here, too, sweet girl.

"Why is Mama stayin' away?" Josef was now standing by his father's side, leaning against his shoulder.

Sully drew both of his children into his arms. "She's not stayin' away from you. Sometimes when grownups have a lot on their minds, it helps ta be alone. You can think clearer...make better decisions." At these words Sully couldn't help but acknowledge that his two days alone after his falling out with Cloud Dancing had only muddled his thinking.

"Is that what you do when you go away sometimes?" Katie asked, looking up into his blue eyes.

Sully smoothed her hair. "Yeah, it is." He thought about how true his words were for him, but in all the years he had spent with Michaela, he never remembered her once intentionally staying away this long to work through a problem. That realization caused his stomach to twist again as fears for her safety resurfaced. "I want you both ta stay here. We'll be back by mornin'." Sully thanked Brian and Dorothy for taking care of the children, and then he grabbed a blanket and water before mounting his horse. He pulled up on the reins, urging his horse to go forward. Without much light left before nightfall, he needed to ride fast, fast in the direction of the canyon.

* * *

Sully climbed up the canyon in pitch black darkness without even a trace of moonlight to guide his way. In his haste to begin his search, he hadn't remembered to take a lantern, and that mistake had cost him precious time into the canyon. If he was wrong, and Michaela wasn't inside the cave, he would have to spend the night and resume searching in the morning. Having nearly stumbled several times already, he had begrudgingly accepted that he was courting danger to be moving around alone in the dark. 

The closer he got to the cave, the more he sensed that Michaela was nearby, as if he could feel her presence. Unfortunately, that didn't mean he would find her inside now, since everything about this place reminded him of Michaela, and the time they spent here together. He couldn't tell if his intense feelings were memories of the past or premonitions of what was yet to come.

When he reached the opening of the cave, he leaned inside to let his eyes adjust to the even darker surroundings. Having passed Flash on his way up, he knew Michaela was inside, but he would feel better confirming it with his own eyes. His eyes roamed around the cave, searching, until they fell on a form curled up on its side. He carefully tiptoed toward the figure, relieved by the sight of his wife's long coppery brown hair that had fallen forward across her face.

"Michaela," he whispered, as he crouched down on the balls of his feet, bending over her. Hearing no response, he became aware of her deep, even breathing. She was asleep. He sat down on the ground facing her back, deciding whether or not to wake her. His hand reached across to touch her, but it hovered in the air without making contact, afraid of disturbing her peaceful slumber. Cognizant that she hadn't slept at all last night or soundly for the past several nights, he decided to let her rest. Their talk could wait until morning.

Sully retrieved the blanket he had brought along. Though he intended to use it to cushion the hardness of the cave floor, he draped it tenderly across his wife, careful not to wake her. As quietly as possible, he removed his belt, beads, and moccasins and lay down next to her. Closing his eyes, he molded his body around her familiar shape, his arm around her waist, drawing her closer to him. When he had fallen into a veil like prelude to sleep, he stirred as soon as he felt her hand clasp his and maneuver his arm more securely around her.

"Sully," she said groggily, emerging from the deep recesses of sleep.

"Shh," he whispered, nuzzling the back of her head and inhaling the faint scent of perfumed soap. "Go back ta sleep."

"You're here?" She was disoriented, unsure if this was a dream or reality.

"I'm here."

Michaela slowly became more awake and pulled herself into a sitting position. She reached out to touch his face, making sure he was real. "I thought I was dreaming." She was grateful for the darkness that hid her eyes from his scrutiny. Even though she couldn't see them, the burning sensation and heaviness told her they were swollen and red. "How did you find me?"

Sully sat up now, too. Frustrated he couldn't see more than shapes in the darkness, he reached out to touch her, needing a physical connection. "I thought about where I'd go. This place holds a special meanin' for us."

"It does."

It was strange to hear her voice, but not be able to read her face. He thought about how her words seemed to lose some of their meaning when they weren't accompanied by her expressive eyes and facial movements. "Michaela, we don't gotta talk now. Let's sleep an' we can talk in the mornin'."

"I don't want to talk," she said, abruptly turning away from him.

"Why not?"

"There's nothing to talk about. For now, I will stay here with you, Sully. Together we'll try to help the Cheyenne and see if we can build a life for our family. I don't want to talk or quarrel about it anymore."

Even though Sully wasn't sure what Michaela would decide, he felt overwhelming relief to hear that she would have stayed. In his despair over the possibility of losing his friendship with Cloud Dancing, Sully had buried his much deeper fear that his wife would chose to return with the children to Colorado without him. He knew he never would have let it come to that. In his guilt over all the Cheyenne had lost, he thought he needed to do more to help them, but he also knew that he would never have sacrificed his family to do it. Reaching out to find her hand in the darkness, he held it. "I didn't come ta fight with ya Michaela. I came ta tell ya we're not stayin'. We're goin' home."

With her head throbbing, she didn't feel capable of having this conversation now. "Please don't change your mind because of me."

He heard the edge in her voice, confused by what had placed it there. "It's partly 'cause o' you, but mostly it's for our family. Our stayin' ain't right for us…any of us."

Michaela wasn't ready to accept that his change of heart was genuine. "I told you I'll stay. If we return to Colorado, I don't want to be blamed for ruining this for you in the way you blame me for Yellowstone," she said, as fresh tears sprang to her eyes. She became aware of the weariness and hurt that rose up hard and bitter in her throat.

Sully scooted along the ground toward her. When he was beside her, he pulled her to him. "Hey," he said, wiping her tears with his thumb. "I don't blame ya for Yellowstone and I'm not gonna blame ya now."

"But, you said…" She halted as new tears pushed up into her throat. She swallowed them back down again so that she could speak. "Sully, I do care about what matters to you."

He framed her face in his hands. "I know ya do," he paused, for the first time realizing the extent to which he had hurt her with his thoughtless words last night. He leaned forward to enfold her in his arms, hugging her tight. His gentle touch unraveled the thin veil of control she had over her emotions, causing her tears to flow freely onto his shirt. For several minutes he held her, rocked her and told her he loved her. "Michaela, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. With no sleep, an' bein' so upset 'bout Cloud Dancin', it all came out worse than I meant. You agreed ta go ta Wyoming. I made the decision ta stay. I thought I could do the same thing with the land in Colorado. I know I can't take back what I said, but ya gotta know I don't blame ya."

Michaela clung tightly to him, her cheek resting against his chest. Her tears had ebbed, but her breathing remained ragged. "You have regrets."

The darkness concealed the subtle shift in his expression in response to her statement. It was a long while before he responded. "Yeah, I have regrets."

She pulled back to look deeply into his eyes, frustrated at not being able to see them. "Tell me."

Sully took a long breath and let it out slowly. "I didn't count on it bein' so hard ta do the same thing in Colorado. I could've been part o' creatin' the first National Park. Instead, I been bangin' my head against a wall tryin' ta get people ta protect the land in Colorado." He paused to stroke her face with his fingertips. "I wouldn't change our life and I'd never again ask ya ta stop bein' a doctor, but I can't help wonderin' what it would've been like ta be part o' creatin' Yellowstone."

"It would have been extraordinary for you." She kissed the palm of his hand. "But, Colorado needs your voice, Sully. If we had gone to Wyoming, who knows what might have happened in Colorado. We need to have faith that one day Congress will establish a Rocky Mountain National Park and you will have been a part of it."

Sully repositioned them so they were side by side, his arm around her and her head resting against his shoulder. "I'm sorry I hurt you. These past days, I've been so wrapped up in my pain over Cloud Dancin' and the Cheyenne, not what's best for our family. Can ya forgive me?" He thought about the terrible irony of inflicting the same pain on his wife that he had felt at Cloud Dancing's biting words and wondered why so often the most harmful words were said to the people we loved most in the world.

"Sully, of course I forgive you, but I need to know that you truly don't want to stay here."

He ran his hand down her arm in a gentle caress. "Michaela, I was gonna turn our life upside down ta prove ta Cloud Dancin' that I hadn't abandoned the Cheyenne. Stayin' here didn't make sense for me or any 'o us, but I wasn't thinkin' clear. I thought I owed 'im."

"Have you spoken to Cloud Dancing?"

"Yeah, this afternoon. He didn't want me ta stay either. We're all right."

"I'm glad. I know how important he is to you. I meant what I said, Sully. We would never have left with the two of you at odds with each other."

"We'll be fine. We'll be even better after I tell 'im we're not stayin'." Sully lowered his eyes and dropped his voice. "As hard as it is ta accept, there's nothin' I can do ta help the Cheyenne now."

Michaela knew how difficult it was for Sully to voice those words. He always tried to find a way to help his friends and family, even at great risk to himself. Unable to find an appropriate response, she tightened her arm around his waist, leaned further into him and let her touch and her silence communicate her understanding and empathy.

He kissed the top of her head then reached for her hand. "There is one thing I gotta ask ya though."

"What is it?" she asked nervously.

"'Fore we head home, would you do me the honor of accompanyin' me to a weddin'?"

Michaela's face broke out into a broad smile. "Cloud Dancing's?"

"Yep."

"I'd be honored." She snuggled closer to him, glad to have put this latest disagreement behind them. "Oh dear, I have nothing appropriate to wear."

He chuckled. "You're beautiful. It don't matter what ya wear. 'Sides, it's a Cheyenne weddin'. Don't expect me ta wear a suit."

"I wish you could wear the shirt you wore for our wedding. You were so handsome."

Sully grew quiet for a moment. "It was Cloud Dancin's marriage shirt from Snow Bird. Don't think it'd be right for this weddin'."

"I never knew that."

"He wanted me ta wear it for them on our weddin' day, ta bring me the same happiness he found with Snow Bird?"

"Did it work?" she quipped.

He placed a soft kiss on the side of her head. "What do you think?"

"Will Cloud Dancing be as happy in his new marriage?"

"He'll make it work," he said simply, knowing that Cloud Dancing would never be as happy as he was with Snow Bird. Sully leaned back on his hands and felt something under his fingers. "What's this?" he asked, holding something that felt like a shoe, but not one of Michaela's.

Michaela placed her hands on the object he was holding. "It's a moccasin. The other one should be around here somewhere. I finished them today. They were supposed to be a gift."

Sully felt the soft leather, sturdy sole and the pattern of intricate beadwork. "You made 'em?" he asked, failing to hide the surprise in his tone.

Michaela didn't take offense. "Yes, with Night Crane's help. I chose a pattern in blue and red."

"For serenity, home, and warmth," he said, moved. He continued to finger the soft deerskin. "I can't see 'em, but they feel nice and soft. I could use a new pair. Thank you." He pulled her closer, wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the crook of her shoulder.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you found me tonight."

"Same here. Ya had me real worried. It's not like ya ta disappear." Sully pulled back, his face only inches from hers. "Michaela, were you really prepared ta stay?"

She brought her hand up to his forehead, her fingers lightly caressing his temple and brushing over the side of his face. "The one certainty I've learned throughout our marriage is that I don't do well when we're apart. It's as if a part of me is missing. No matter what we decide for our future, I won't be apart from you. And our children don't thrive as well without you either. I also knew that you would never harm our family. If, after a time, we couldn't build a satisfactory life here and it was hurting the children, you would have wanted to return home as much as I would."

Sully swallowed the lump in his throat. "I would. I don't wanna be apart from you either…or our kids. I just needed some time ta figure out the right thing ta do." He grasped her hand, placing a soft kiss to its back. "Just so ya know…I wouldn't have stayed without you. I need all of ya so much."

"We need you, too." Talking together in this intimate, trusting darkness comforted her and she fell against him, nuzzling her face in the side of his neck.

Instinctively his arms came around to hold her. "Ya think you can go back ta sleep? We'll head back ta the campsite at first light."

At Michaela's affirmation, Sully rose to lay the blanket out as a cushion against the stone floor of the cave. He watched as his wife shed her blouse and skirt, preferring to sleep in only her camisole and pantaloons. Sully followed suit by removing his shirt, but keeping his buckskins on. Once they were horizontal on the blanket, Sully pressed his body alongside hers, so that her back was snug against his chest, while his left arm rested across her waist, his fingers lightly grazing her breasts. "I love you," he whispered before kissing the nape of her neck and closing his eyes. In the darkness, the timbre of his voice was like a caress.

Michaela turned in his arms so they were now on their sides, face to face. "And I love you." He opened his eyes, wrapped his arms around her and when she moved closer to him, he kissed her forehead. A long moment passed as each of them became absorbed by memories of what they had last shared in this special place. Sully pushed the hair back from the side of her face and traced the arch of her cheekbones with his fingers. Michaela marveled at how, despite how long they've been married, the touch of his fingers, in such a simple gesture, could still arouse her.

She leaned forward to kiss his lips, drawing strength from the steadiness of his affection. He cradled her against him, deepening the kiss. She stroked his temples and cheekbones before her hands became lost in his thick brown hair, weaving it between her fingers as she kneaded his scalp. She felt the pressure of his hand on the small of her back urging her against him. Sleep was now forgotten as their movements, which had begun slowly, became more urgent, as they sought to satisfy a deep hunger of mutual forgiveness. It was as if the apologies and new understandings they had spoken earlier were merely appetizers to a feast of more profound communication. At the end, after they had reaffirmed their enduring love, they drifted off to a peaceful sleep, wrapped in the tight knot of each other's arms.

_To Be Continued..._

_Thank you all so much for reading. I was on vacation in Yellowstone in September and after seeing how extraordinary it is, I couldn't help think about how perfect that job was for Sully. Though that trip clearly influenced some of their conversation, I hope you found it plausible. _


	34. Chapter 34

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

The next morning, Michaela and Sully rode at a leisurely pace from the canyon, through the tall, brown prairie grass toward their campsite. They were feeling more settled than they had in days. Wounds had been healed, friendships restored, and a life spared. They were once again standing side by side on solid ground, a foundation which had been strengthened and reinforced by the obstacles that had threatened to steer them off course. Having gotten far more out of this trip than they ever imagined, together they decided that the time had come to go home, back to Colorado, secure in the knowledge that their friends were doing all they could to survive.

As their campsite came into view, the couple shared an amused glance at the first sight of their family. They were engaged in a spirited stick tossing game with the wolf. Eager to greet their children, they brought their horses to a stop, dismounted, secured them near the wagon, and walked hand in hand in their direction.

"Mama! Papa!" Josef hollered and waved. He ran over to them, barreling into his mother at full force, wrapping his arms securely around her waist. Michaela reared back slightly before being steadied by Sully's firm hand against her back. Katie joined her brother at her parent's side, giving them both a kiss.

Sully drew his daughter into a warm embrace. Glancing over the top of her head, he noticed Live in Hopes standing off to the side, looking slightly uncomfortable. "It's good ta see you," Sully said to the boy. "What brings ya out this way? Another lesson?"

Live in Hopes became tongue-tied and couldn't think of an appropriate response. His lessons with Katie had ended a few days ago. They both agreed that spending time together, talking, was the best way for each of them to learn the other's language. This morning, he had come by for the sole purpose of spending time with Katie, but he wasn't sure he should admit that to her father. Finally, he found his voice and offered an excuse. "I…uh…I came to see the wolf."

Michaela noticed the awkward silence and the subtle glances between Live in Hopes and her daughter. At hearing him stutter over his words, she studied the two of them carefully.

Dorothy walked over with two steaming hot cups of coffee. "I thought you could use these."

"Sure could, thanks," Sully said, reaching for the cup and blowing on it before taking a sip.

The sudden thrust of a coffee cup in front of her interrupted Michaela's concentration. Reluctantly, her eyes left Katie to accept the cup. "Thank you, Dorothy," she said cheerfully. Her face was lit up with a radiant smile that was intended to silently communicate to her friend that all was well.

Dorothy nodded in understanding, returning her friend's smile with a relieved grin of her own. "Brian cooked trout for us this morning. Would you like me to see if there's any left?"

Before Michaela had a chance to answer, Brian advanced toward them carrying a plate of fish and biscuits. "We saved you some," he said, noticing that both his parents seemed more relaxed than they had been for several days. Gone were the deep worry lines on his mother's face along with the dark circles under her eyes. Also absent were his father's pain darkened expressions.

"Thanks, Brian, I'm starved," Sully said, reaching for a biscuit and taking a large bite. It tasted delicious, mainly because it was the first food he had eaten since yesterday afternoon.

"The wolf's better," Josef told his mother. He took the stick and tossed it out for the animal to retrieve.

"I can see that," Michaela said, watching him run, pick up the stick in his mouth and trot back, depositing it at Josef's feet. He sniffed the ground, and then looked up expectantly at Josef, waiting for him to toss the stick again.

Josef complied by throwing the stick once more. "Papa said he was gonna leave us to live with other wolves, but he came back. Can we take him home?"

"Well," she began, seeking out Sully's eyes for an appropriate answer.

"Please," Josef begged.

Sully swallowed the food in his mouth before responding. "Joe, he's young. He still might go back ta the woods. But, if he's still here when we're ready ta go home, and he wants ta come with us, you can take 'im home."

Katie's brows were drawn in confusion. "How are we gonna know if he wants to come with us? He can't tell us."

"Katie, he'll tell us in his own way," Brian supplied.

"Brian's right," Sully said, bringing the cup to his mouth for another sip of coffee. "If he hangs around an' settles in the wagon when we're ready ta leave, I'd say he's tellin' us he wants ta come."

"If he's going to be with us, you might want to think of a name for him," Michaela suggested.

"How 'bout Wolf," Josef said, kneeling on the ground to pet the wolf.

Michaela crouched down, placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, and looked her son in the eye. "Sweetheart, I think you should choose a different name. Wolf holds a special place in our family and he should be the only one to bear that name."

"After all, there was only one Wolf," Brian added. He tossed the rest of the uneaten breakfast to the animal before stepping toward the campfire and dousing it. No longer needed for cooking, the fire was adding unwelcome warmth to the already scorching hot day.

"What's wolf in Cheyenne?" Katie asked Live in Hopes.

"Ho'nehe," he replied.

"I wanna pick his name. I found him," Josef said, fearful his sister was taking control. He sat on the ground, lifted the wolf into his arms, and settled him on his lap as he considered suitable names. "What about Trapper, 'cause I found him in a trap?"

"I like it," Katie said, squatting to scratch the animal's head.

"That's a good name," Live in Hopes agreed.

"Trapper it is then," Michaela confirmed, rising to her full height. She noticed how her children doted on the young animal and how he relished the attention.

"Papa, I think he looks like Wolf. You see the white on his chest. You think he's his pup? Maybe Wolf sent him to us."

"Josef, I don't think…" Michaela began in a sympathetic tone.

Sully flashed a look of caution to his wife and cut in. "Joe, Wolf would go away ta hunt an' spend time with other wolves, but I don't think he roamed this far. But, over the years, he probably had lots o' pups. There's really no way o' knowin' for sure if this is one or not." Sully recognized how important it was for Josef to believe that this wolf shared a connection with Wolf, however unlikely a coincidence he believed it to be.

"Well, I think he's his pup. They look alike and act alike," Josef declared. His faith in Trapper's connection to Wolf would allow Josef to begin to let go of the burden of guilt he had been carrying inside since the day Wolf died.

"Is Trapper gonna go away, too, sometimes?" Katie asked. She sat beside her brother stroking the wiry gray fur on the wolf's back.

"Ya gotta let 'im do what's in his nature. Stayin' with us has gotta be his choice. Ya understand?" Sully gulped the last drops of his coffee and walked over to the fire for another cup. After he filled his cup, he brought the remaining coffee over for his wife.

Josef nodded halfheartedly, unwilling to face the possibility that his new friend might choose to leave. "When are we going home?"

"Real soon. I need ta speak with Cloud Dancin' first," Sully replied.

"I'm glad to hear that," Dorothy piped in. "I'm eager to return to the Gazette. Who knows what kind of mess Preston's left for me to clean up. Since I've already finished breakfast, I'm going down to the river to wash up. Michaela, will you be here when I return?"

"Yes. Sully's going to meet Cloud Dancing, while I stay here to catch up on chores. Later I'd like to visit with Night Crane," Michaela replied.

Katie had been mulling over the news of their imminent departure and sharing sad glances with Live in Hopes. After Dorothy departed, she addressed her parents. "Do we have to leave right away? Couldn't we stay a little longer?"

Michaela studied her daughter carefully, trying to identify the cause of her disappointment. Her eyes roamed from Katie to Live in Hopes and back again several times, an idea forming in her mind. "Your father and I need to return to work and shortly you'll be heading back to school."

"Your ma's right, Katie. We already stayed longer than we planned. It's time ta go home," Sully said.

Katie looked down at the ground thinking about ways to spend more time with Live in Hopes before she left. "Can Joey and me take Trapper for a walk in the tall grass with Live in Hopes?"

"Joey and I," Michaela corrected. "Yes, you may. I want all of you to stay together and don't be gone too long."

"We won't," the children replied in unison. Josef ran ahead with Trapper by his side. Katie and Live in Hopes lingered behind, walking slowly, deliberately putting distance between themselves and Josef.

Sully put his arm around Michaela and watched the children head off through the grass, the wolf at their side. "I didn't expect Katie ta take our leavin' so hard."

"I believe a particular young boy is responsible for that," Michaela said in a lighthearted tone.

Sully's eyes narrowed. "What are ya talkin' about?"

"Live in Hopes."

"They're friends."

"I believe they have a crush on each other."

Sully shook his head. "She's too young."

"She's a little older than Brian was when he had his first crush," she reminded him, gently stroking his arm.

Sully mulled that over in his mind for a while. "It don't bother you?"

Michaela looked up into his eyes. "Why should it bother me?

"You were bothered when it was Brian," he told her. Remembering how Michaela taught Brian about the birds and the bees still caused him to chuckle.

She wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned into him, her breath warm at his ear. "I have learned a few things since then. What I want to know is why it bothers you? You encouraged Brian with Sarah."

"That was different," he said, staring off in the distance where the children had just been.

"How was it different?"

"It just was. I don't like thinkin' some boy is lookin' at my little girl that way."

Michaela lightly laughed, finding her husband's discomfort amusing. "Live in Hopes is far too young to be thinking about Katie in an inappropriate fashion. I think it's sweet."

"I'm not ready for Katie ta start noticin' boys."

She linked her fingers with his. "You weren't going to be the only man in her life forever."

"No wonder Katie didn't seem eager 'bout goin' home."

"Are you?" She searched his eyes for reassurance.

He drew her close, resting his head against hers. "I'm ready."

* * *

"You will be leaving," Cloud Dancing said. The two men were in the woods hunting. They walked side by side, their quivers over their right shoulders and their bows ready. Sully had his eyes fixed on the trail searching for game, while Cloud Dancing kept his eyes on his friend, carefully observing his expressions, posture, and demeanor. 

Sully's eyes flew to Cloud Dancing, pausing in his steps. "How'd ya know?"

Cloud Dancing stopped walking and faced his friend. "Your eyes shine with a brightness that has been missing these past few days, and you move with an ease I have not seen since you arrived here."

Sully grew quiet, averting his eyes and slumping his shoulders, as if by making himself smaller he could hide the truth that he was happy and at peace with his life, and with their decision to go home. It seemed wrong to feel contentment when the Cheyenne had so little.

Cloud Dancing watched a host of emotions play across his face, disturbed by how easily his mood changed from satisfaction to unease. "There is no greater burden."

Sully regarded him with a steady gaze. "What?"

"Guilt," Cloud Dancing said, pausing for a moment to make sure Sully absorbed his meaning. "There is no greater burden than guilt." He resumed walking, but slowed his pace when he became aware that Sully hadn't moved.

Sully lingered behind, unnerved by his transparency. Where the Cheyenne were concerned, he was consumed by guilt, guilt that he hadn't done enough, guilt that he had too much, and guilt that he was free to leave, choose his own life, and be happy. He and Cloud Dancing were brothers in every way that mattered, yet Sully's life was easier, solely because of the color of his skin. It was unfair, it made him angry, and yes, he felt guilty.

Cloud Dancing waited for Sully to catch up before speaking again. "I should know. It is also within me."

Sully gave him a long, hard sidelong glance. "You have nothin' ta feel guilty about. What's happened isn't your fault. You're doin' all ya can for your people."

"You have also done everything you can. It does me no good to see you unhappy. Knowing you are content, with a strong family, pleases me. None of what has happened is your fault."

"It's my people who are doin' this ta you." He felt culpable somehow, but helpless, too.

"You do not think I know the difference between you and them?"

"Course ya do. It's just…I wanted ta do more. I thought if we stayed, we could make a difference, make life more bearable for ya, only what's happenin is too big. I can't stop it. You, Michaela, an' even Brian, helped me ta see that no matter how much I wanted it, we can't go back ta the way it used ta be. You and Strong Bow are doin' all ya can. I know you're gonna keep the Cheyenne alive in the children. What happens in the future is in your hands and theirs. I gotta let go, but it's hard."

"You only need to let go of the guilt and your belief that you owe me more than you have already given. I still need your friendship and the Cheyenne need you to remember."

"You'll always have that." Sully slowed his pace, stopped, and gazed meaningfully at his friend. "Always."

Cloud Dancing lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. "After what came between us, I was not certain."

"Ya never have ta worry 'bout that," Sully said, his blue eyes penetrating Cloud Dancing's brown ones. "I know it was the hate talkin'. Let it go."

Cloud Dancing lowered his eyes to the ground, his face drawn down in weariness and guilt. "I am afraid it is easier to see the foolishness of other men's prisons than to release yourself from one of your own making."

"Seems like guilt's been a burden ta all of us. It's eatin' away at Runnin' Wolf, has been for years. Ya think he'll ever find peace?"

As the two men resumed walking, their minds were on the conversation, not on the game they had set out to hunt. "Peace…no," Cloud Dancing said. "Acceptance is possible. It took great courage for him to come live among us, knowing the risk. I have come to believe he meant the truth to come out, even if he was not aware of it. The burden of carrying his secret was greater than the burden of living with the consequences. I no longer blame him for Washita." Cloud Dancing paused at the sound of broken twig. He listened hard, for in its sound he could tell whether the animal was small or large. It was neither, just a dry branch blown from a tree.

Sully, too, grew quiet and listened for what had drawn Cloud Dancing's attention. They shared an amused grin at the false alarm. "How'd ya get past it?"

"I realize now that Custer already knew where Black Kettle was camped. He had followed the Army's instructions to gather at Fort Cobb for protection. By being turned away, the Army had planned and sanctioned the massacre. Running Wolf and scouts like him were used to cover up Custer's real intent. Running Wolf spoke the truth. He did not kill us and torch our village. That was Custer. He tried to stop it. Though the blame is gone, forgiveness will take time."

"I understand," Sully said. They walked side by side, basking in each other's company, the natural rhythm of their friendship restored. As they talked now, it was as if no shadow had ever fallen between them. "He wants ta help ya. You believe that, don't ya?"

"I do. At first, I did not want to permit it, as if by denying him what he most wanted, I could prolong and worsen his suffering. When my desire for revenge receded, I came to see that his suffering did not help the Cheyenne. More good can come from his atonement."

"Michaela called it harvesting his guilt for good."

"That is the best use for guilt. Has Josef let go of his guilt?

Sully knelt to examine a patch of bent grass. He noticed more grass had been stepped on toward the right, and motioned for Cloud Dancing to follow. "Joe blames himself for Wolf's death. It's hard ta see 'im so upset and not be able ta help 'im."

"Does it help him to know that you do not also blame him?" Cloud Dancing examined the angle of the bend, trying to identify the animal that had passed.

"Some. The new wolf seems ta be helpin' more. Savin' that wolf's life made him feel better. He feels responsible for it, like it's his purpose. Joe's callin' 'im Trapper. Looks like he'll be comin' home with us." Sully hesitated, lowering his voice. "Joe thinks Wolf sent 'im."

"You do not?" he asked, noting the skepticism across his face.

Sully raised his eyebrows. "It's not likely."

"Now you sound like Michaela," Cloud Dancing said, chuckling. "You, yourself, have had experiences that cannot be reasoned or explained…when you knew where to find Michaela, and me. She has as well. Remember how visions of lilies directed her to you after you fell from the cliff. There are some mysteries we are meant to trust on faith."

"We didn't tell 'im he didn't send the wolf," Sully defended. He knew the world was full of mysteries that defied logic and perhaps this _was_ one of them.

"It will be good for him to care for the wolf." Cloud Dancing read his face and understood what he saw there. "Having another wolf will be good for all of you."

Sully heard the unspoken reference to Wolf's death in his statement. "It's real hard. I still miss Wolf. I don't let on ta the kids, but sometimes I still see 'im and hear 'im. It's gonna be worse when we get home and he's not around. He was with me for so long. He was a part of me."

Cloud Dancing heard the pain in his voice and thought the new wolf would be good for Sully, too. Though he could never replace his beloved companion, he felt, in time, Trapper would assume the same role as protector of all of them. "When will you be leaving?"

"After your weddin'."

"I had wanted to tell you, we would like to be married tomorrow."

"We don't got any other plans," Sully said, lightening the mood.

"Does my brother, and best man, have any advice for me?"

Sully chuckled before growing serious. "Your marriage ta Snow Bird taught me more than I could ever tell you."

"I have asked myself what Snow Bird would think of this union," Cloud Dancing said. He had a far away look in his eyes, a look of remembering.

"She would understand."

"I believe that as well. Sully, answer one question for me. Among all the elements that contribute to a good marriage, what is the one that has done the most to strengthen yours?

Sully thought about the question for a long time. The word love was the first to enter his mind, but he remained quiet, knowing Cloud Dancing's marriage was born out of duty rather than the kind of love he felt for Michaela, the love that had carried them through their darkest days. His love for her had always been there, and while he couldn't imagine a strong marriage without it, there was another ingredient that probably did more to strengthen their marriage than any other. "Talk ta 'er."

Cloud Dancing couldn't guess how Sully would respond. He anticipated the words love, respect, or acceptance. The answer he gave caught him completely off guard, especially knowing Sully's introverted nature. "Talk?" Cloud Dancing needed to repeat it.

Sully gave him a swift grin. "It took me a long time ta learn that we could avoid a whole lotta misunderstandin' if we talked, told each other when somethin' was wrong or when one of us was hurtin'. When we first got married, neither one o' us was any good at communicatin' our feelin's. Now, even when we disagree, the talkin' helps, 'cause we understand each other better. I never thought I'd say this, but talkin' brought us closer together."

"You have both learned from each other and blended your ways. I will remember this advice."

"Cloud Dancin', I hope sharin' your life with someone will ease some o' the burden o' livin' here," Sully said sincerely.

"That is my hope as well."

"It's gonna be hard ta say goodbye ta you."

"We are always with each other, here," he said pressing his hand to his heart. "I will not say goodbye to you, for we will see each other again."

"When we come back, I expect ta see little Cloud Dancin's runnin' 'round here," Sully teased.

Cloud Dancing laughed. The laugh hid his deep longing for Sully's words to be prophetic, embarrassed by how desperately he wanted them to come true. It was a wanting so strong and primal, as fierce as his desire for the Cheyenne to survive. It wasn't the way of nature to outlive your wife and children. He was coming upon the sunset of his life. When he left this earth, his greatest desire was to have a child who might carry on his work on behalf of the Cheyenne.

* * *

"You have been practicing," Cloud Dancing told Josef, impressed by how far he had thrown the arrow. 

"Papa's been helping me," Josef said, pleased by his throw. "Eyes Like the Sky, too. Sometimes I even beat him. But, I can't beat you."

"Joe, Cloud Dancin's been playin' this game since he was younger than you. Takes time," Sully said. He was seated on the ground, leaning against the base of a cottonwood tree, enjoying the sight of his children playing arrow mark with Cloud Dancing.

Katie stepped forward for her turn. She pulled her arm back, and then thrust it forward, letting go of the arrow. It soared through the air straight and far, landing far to the right of the others flat on the ground. "Oh," she said, stomping her foot in frustration. "I thought it would get closer."

Cloud Dancing came to stand behind her. "Katie, you hold your arm as if you were using a bow and arrow. For arrow mark, the throw is different." He took her right arm, moving it to show her the feel of the different throws. "Now try again." Katie took another turn, and this time her arrow landed right next to Josef's, its point straight down with the feathers of both arrows touching.

"Real good, Kates," Sully congratulated, clapping his hands.

"You have both learned quickly," Cloud Dancing praised.

Nea'ese, Katie replied.

Cloud Dancing smiled in appreciation and asked both children in Cheyenne if they wanted to play again. Katie and Cloud Dancing continued to exchange simple Cheyenne phrases while Josef took his turn in the game. "Sully, soon you can teach them how to throw the tomahawk."

"Can we Papa?" Josef jumped up and down in excitement.

Sully chuckled. "When you're a little older, I'll teach ya."

"I can learn now," Katie pressed.

"Me, too. Please, Papa."

"Look what ya started," Sully said to Cloud Dancing, his tone one of mock disapproval.

Cloud Dancing shrugged his shoulders, a mischievous smile on his face.

"I'll teach both of ya in a few years. I'm not ready ta start that battle with your ma just yet."

"What battle?" Josef asked.

"Never mind. Go get your arrows an' throw again," Sully said, changing the subject.

"With practice, both of you will improve. Will you play with your friends at home?" Cloud Dancing asked, as he once again threw the arrow to establish the mark for the children to aim at.

"Yeah!" Josef said, letting go of his arrow. "I'll teach Luke and James. And, I'll beat 'em."

Katie stepped forward for her turn. "Joey, no one's gonna play Cheyenne games with us."

"Why not, they're fun," he said, pleased to have won another round of this game against his sister. All his time playing with Eyes Like the Sky and the other Cheyenne boys had really paid off.

"They just won't," she insisted, moving to retrieve the arrows.

"Well, I'm gonna try," Josef said, taking his arrow from her.

Cloud Dancing placed his arm around Josef's shoulder. "You should try. If you teach them, they might play."

Josef beamed up at Cloud Dancing. "I'm gonna."

"Supper's ready," Michaela called. She made her way up the small incline where the children and Cloud Dancing were playing. When she reached them, she turned toward Cloud Dancing. "Have they worn you out yet?"

He grinned broadly at her. "It is the opposite. They give me new energy and hope."

Josef tugged lightly on the end of her blouse. "Mama, Papa's gonna teach us to throw a tomahawk," Josef said, taking her hand.

"He is, is he?" She gave Sully a questioning stare.

Sully shrugged his shoulders and looked sheepishly at his wife, feigning innocence. "Joe, I told ya, in a few years."

"Then we have a few years to discuss it," she said, winding her arm around his waist and walking back toward the campfire for supper.

One by one, everyone took a seat around the campfire. They enjoyed a satisfying meal of fried trout, carrots, and potatoes. It was their last night at the reservation, and the last meal they would share with Cloud Dancing before they departed.

Throughout the meal, the conversation was lively and cheerful. The children chattered non-stop, showing off to Cloud Dancing all they had learned in their Cheyenne lessons and from spending time on the reservation. In their excitement to share their knowledge with their friend, they hardly touched their food, bringing repeated reminders from their mother to eat. Cloud Dancing was enthralled by their animated descriptions and impressed by all they had absorbed in only a few short weeks.

Brian also shared his news. He told Cloud Dancing about his imminent trip and answered his many questions. Since this was the first his younger siblings had learned of his trip, he answered their questions, too, heartened by their excitement for him.

"Brian," Cloud Dancing began. "Will your travels bring you this way again?"

"I thought I'd first go to San Francisco to see Ethan," he said, pausing briefly for a cautious glimpse at his parents. Michaela and Sully shared a concerned look at the news, each one silently determined to ensure that he was prepared for any potential disappointment he might encounter from attempting to contact his father. "Then I want to travel the coast for a while before heading east to Washington, Philadelphia, New York, and Boston. I'll visit here again when I'm close to Oklahoma."

"It will be good to see you again. You can tell me all that you have seen," Cloud Dancing told him.

Dorothy listened quietly to the conversation, mulling over whether to speak. When there was a natural break, she jumped in. "Cloud Dancing," she began nervously, relaxing when she saw the friendly smile on his face. "I would like to write another book. This one would tell what's happened to the Cheyenne and the importance of preserving your culture. I will draw on some of what I wrote before, but had to burn, and what I've learned here."

"You should write such a book," he agreed, bringing his fork to his mouth for another bite of food.

Dorothy paused to take a sip of tea and to garner her courage. "I was wondering…that is…if you would agree to read it before I send it to my publisher. To make sure I haven't written anything that can hurt the work you're doing here."

Cloud Dancing stilled his fork over his plate, moved by her request. "Dorothy, I would be honored to read your book. Your words can only help us. Thank you."

"Don't thank me until you've read it," she quipped, nervously glancing away from him.

"I do not have to read it to know what it will say," he said sincerely. He looked directly at her until their eyes joined together for a moment in mutual understanding.

"Cloud Dancing," Josef interrupted. "Tell us a story?"

Michaela began to collect the plates and silverware from the meal. "That's an excellent idea. We'd all love to hear a story."

"I would enjoy that." Cloud Dancing thought for a few moments, trying to come up with one he thought they hadn't heard. Josef crawled into his lap to listen to the story while Katie leaned into his side. Cloud Dancing placed an arm around each of the children, holding them close.

Josef looked up at Cloud Dancing. "Ne'hyo."

Sully choked up at hearing his son refer to Cloud Dancing as his father, his Cheyenne father. He had been sitting quietly throughout the meal enjoying the warmth of this cozy, intimate gathering of family and friends. The scene before him was one he wanted to imprint in his memory bank forever. Cloud Dancing seemed calm and content, as he cuddled affectionately with Katie and Josef. It was the first time, since they arrived at the reservation, that Sully recalled seeing Cloud Dancing so relaxed and genuinely happy. Sully edged closer to Michaela, prepared to listen to the story. He drew her close and rested his chin on her shoulder, pressing his cheek to hers.

"I have one that may be new to you," Cloud Dancing told them. Before he began to speak, his expression took on a far away look as if he was remembering the thousands of Cheyenne before him who told this story in exactly the same way he was about to tell it now. "One day the little mice were having a dance. They were dancing in the elk skull. Wihio came walking along over the prairie, and heard the singing, but could not tell where it came from…"2

2 Grinnell, George Bird. _"Where the Mice Danced," By Cheyenne Campfires,_ Yale University Press, 1926.

_To Be Continued..._

_As always, thank you for reading. We're very close to the end. After this, only two more chapters. It's been fun and I'm so grateful for your comments and support. _


	35. Chapter 35

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

It was their last day at the reservation. By late afternoon, they would begin their journey home, leaving behind the vast oceans of grasslands, the unforgiving heat, and most of all, their Cheyenne friends, whose futures were so uncertain. Michaela rose early to get a head start on packing their belongings, relieved to find the task on this end was much easier than it had been when they first set out. A little while later, she was joined by Sully, who helped her finish packing, and then together, they loaded the trunk and all their supplies into the wagon.

With everyone awake and ready to leave, and all of their belongings secured, they rode the short distance to the reservation. Upon arriving, the wagon was left in the rear of the clearing behind Cloud Dancing's lodge, where his wedding ceremony would be held in just a few hours. There was one important stop they needed to make before returning for the wedding.

All four adults, two children, and a wolf walked across the reservation toward Running Wolf's lodge. When they reached the front of the lodge, they noticed it was more austere and drab than it had been only a week ago. It had lost all the little touches that had made it a home. Gone were their blankets, the beautiful, decorated robe, wooden carvings, and the pine table they ate their morning meal at each day. All had been given away to the Washita families as reparations. As it was another hot, dry day, with no breeze, Sully was surprised to find that no one was outside and that the door of the lodge was shut. Exchanging a wary glance with Michaela, he knocked on the door. His fears were allayed when the door opened and Night Crane stood before him, a wide grin across her face.

Night Crane stepped outside the lodge to greet them, New Promise in her arms. "It is good to see you. We must stay inside now to avoid the stares and perhaps worse." She glanced uneasily past her friends, across the grassy area, assessing whether anyone was lingering nearby to gawk at them, or to perhaps do something far more menacing. Since the council hearing, they had rocks thrown through their window and insults hurled at them. Satisfied they were safe; she poked her head back inside the lodge and called to her husband, letting him know they had visitors. In seconds, Running Wolf came to stand beside his wife. With a broad smile on his face, he clasped Sully's arm warmly.

Michaela reached for Night Crane's hand. "We came to say goodbye."

Even though they had been expecting the news, Night Crane and Running Wolf shared a silent look of disappointment. With her hand still in Michaela's, Night Crane noticed Katie and Josef looking around for Eyes Like the Sky. She turned her face in their direction. "He is not here. He went with Live in Hopes to the river to catch turtles. But, he will not want you to leave without saying goodbye. If you go now, you can catch up with them."

Josef looked up at his mother with pleading eyes. In the bright morning light, the blue in his eyes seemed to reflect the sky. "Can we, Mama?"

"You may, but come right back after you say goodbye," Michaela said, concerned they would be late for the wedding.

"I'll go with them, make sure they get back in time." Brian thought he should keep an eye on his siblings, knowing how easy it was for children to lose track of time, and how anxious his mother was to stay on schedule. In return, he received a smile of appreciation from his mother.

Running Wolf crouched down to place his hands on Katie's shoulders. "Do we have you to thank for sending our son a friend?"

Katie lowered her eyes to the ground as she felt adult stares boring into her. "I thought they'd like each other," she said in a church-quiet voice, only audible to Running Wolf.

"Thank you. It has made it easier for him here." Running Wolf brought his large arms around Katie and drew her close for a warm embrace. Michaela's eyes misted at hearing the compassion her daughter had shown to her friend. Sully was proud of Katie, but Live in Hopes had impressed him, as well. He faced the more difficult challenge of remaining here and offering friendship to Eyes Like the Sky, when so many of the other children had chosen to ostracize and ridicule him. When Running Wolf released Katie, he noticed a small wolf at her feet, sniffing him, assuring she was all right. "Who is this?"

"Trapper," Josef announced beaming. "Wolf sent him to me. He got his foot caught in a trap and I did what you said. I helped him, and Mama made him all better. Now he's comin' home with us." Josef spoke in a rush. When he finished telling the story, he threw his arms around Running Wolf, sad that the time had come to say goodbye.

Running Wolf held Josef tight to his chest. There was a warm bond between the two of them. He had Josef to thank for bringing their two families together. How different his destiny might have been if they had never met. In the time since he found him lost in the woods, he hadn't seen Josef look so happy. The tiny wolf had started him on the journey to forgiving himself for Wolf's death. "I will miss you, my little friend. Promise me you won't go wandering away from your parents on the way home."

Josef glanced up at him, squinting from the sun. "I promise. I'll miss you, Running Wolf." He hugged him one more time.

"We better go if we're gonna get back in time." Brian reached for his siblings' hands and all three of them headed in the direction of the river to say goodbye to Eyes Like the Sky and Live in Hopes.

Night Crane watched as Brian, Katie and Josef disappeared down the path toward the river. "They have generous hearts. As both of you do. We will miss all of you."

"We'll miss you, too," Michaela said. "Very much."

"When do you leave?" Running Wolf asked. As he looked between Michaela and Sully, a deep sorrow pooled in his chest.

"This afternoon. We can get a half day o' ridin' in 'fore the sun goes down," Sully replied, wishing they had more time together. Since the council, he hadn't visited with Running Wolf as often as he would have liked. He had been absorbed in his own crisis with Cloud Dancing and his concern over Michaela. Their friendship had begun to get back on track, but since it was new, lacking the deep roots he had with Cloud Dancing, it needed more cultivation to fully recover from being uprooted by Running Wolf's past. "I wish we had more time."

"There would never be enough time. There are no words…" Running Wolf's voice vibrated and then faded into nothing. He found it impossible to come up with the right words to thank Sully and tell him what his friendship meant to him.

Sully rested his hand on his shoulder. "There aren't."

"Sully, have you spoken with Cloud Dancing?" Running Wolf's tone was tentative, almost timid.

Sully read the concern etched across his face. "We're all right. After we leave here, we're goin' ta his weddin'." Sully could almost see his entire body ease at the news.

"I was friends with Two Voices as a girl," Night Crane told them, as she placed the baby down in a basket for his nap. "Perhaps, in time, we may find our way to become friends again."

"Cloud Dancin' ain't as angry and he don't blame ya. Give it time," Sully said, pushing the hair that had fallen in his face over his right shoulder.

Night Crane stared off in the distance. "I said terrible words to him. I meant them when I thought he wanted Running Wolf dead. But after his vote on the council, I wanted to speak with him, to thank him, but I didn't know how."

Michaela placed her hand on her arm. "We all said things we regret."

Sully gave her a look of compassion. "Michaela's right. The past week we all said things we wish we didn't. Words wrapped up in that much hate an' anger are more about gettin' the hurt out than what's real. If you're gonna move on, ya gotta let 'em go. That's what me and Cloud Dancin' did. You'll figure out the right time ta talk ta him."

Dorothy had been standing quietly for some time in nervous anticipation of the wedding. She had come to say goodbye to Night Crane, more for a distraction than any deep sorrow at leaving her behind. Though she had become very fond of the young woman, Dorothy's connection to her wasn't as close as Michaela's. Since they had met the Indian couple, her best friend's bond with Night Crane seemed to grow steadily stronger, sending tiny sparks of jealousy coursing through her. She looked forward to having Michaela all to herself again. But, before she left, there was one question she had for her. "Night Crane, I was wondering….wondering about Two Voices," she hesitated feeling foolish. "Will…I mean…do you think," she stammered, embarrassed by the question in her mind that wouldn't rest until she had an answer. "Will she and Cloud Dancing be happy?"

Night Crane noticed the genuine concern in Dorothy's eyes and wondered why she cared so much. She searched her childhood memories for words that might reassure her. "It is true, Two Voices is younger than Cloud Dancing, but she has been through much. She survived Washita, the loss of two husbands and a son. As a child, she was serious and far older than her years. I do not believe their age difference will matter. They are alike in their losses. Any Cheyenne girl would be honored to be chosen by a man of Cloud Dancing's status. I believe she will be a good wife to him and he will be good to her."

"I'm glad. Thank you." Dorothy found only small comfort in the answer as the jaws of jealousy gripped her once again. Some days it was easier to accept their separate lives. It was particularly difficult today, the day of his wedding. "I hope both of you will be all right here. I know Cloud Dancing, if you do what you said to help the Cheyenne, he'll forgive you in time."

Night Crane gave her a warm, polite hug. "Goodbye, Dorothy. I, too, believe, in time, it will be easier for us. Thank you for your support." Night Crane then turned to approach Michaela as the tears she had been trying to hold back filled her eyes. "I don't want to say goodbye to you. You have been my good friend, and a true Medicine Woman to me. I would not have been as strong without your support. Go safely and take care of your wonderful family."

Michaela embraced her warmly, awed by how easily she had stepped into her life and taken up residence in her heart. How she would love to have her as a friend in Colorado. "I will treasure our friendship. Please write to us. Perhaps one day we will see each other again."

Night Crane brought her hand to her face, wiping her tears. "I would like that."

With one hand Sully clasped Running Wolf's arm while his other hand was on his shoulder. "Are you gonna be all right here?" he asked, surprised by how hard it was to say goodbye. In a short time, Running Wolf had become a good friend. Though Sully wasn't sure he would ever make peace with his decision to scout for Custer, he had let it go. All that mattered now was the man Running Wolf had become since then, and his commitment to the welfare of the Cheyenne.

"Goodbye, my friend. I will miss you," Running Wolf said, drawing Sully into a bear hug that communicated profound gratitude for his friendship. After a long while, he let go and offered an answer he knew Sully would understand. "All that matters is that Night Crane and I are together, with our children. I will do my best for the Cheyenne and the rest will get easier in time." He paused to regain his composure and lighten the mood. "Travel safely. I will not be there to pull you from a cliff."

Sully chuckled. "We will. Take care o' yourself and your family. We'll see all o' ya again someday."

* * *

Cloud Dancing stood in front of his lodge, dressed in his finest clothes for the occasion of his wedding. He wore the wedding shirt that Michaela had tanned and sewn for Sully, and given to him after Washita, as a gift for teaching her about his medicine. His leggings were made of soft elk skin decorated with quillwork and beads and fringed at the bottom. Around his neck, he wore a necklace made of beads and eagle feathers to give him courage on his next journey into marriage. At his side was Sully. He, too, was dressed for the festive occasion, wearing the light tan buckskin shirt that Michaela had made and given to him on their tenth wedding anniversary. On his feet were the moccasins she had given him the other night in the cave. In the bright light of day, they were even more impressive than he remembered.

The sky was an incredible deep shade of blue, the endless expanse broken up occasionally by puffy, white clouds. It was as hot and dry as the days had been throughout July, but the air was clean and everything seemed to sparkle. A small group of elders and their families, and all of Two Voices family were assembled to witness the ceremony. Michaela, Brian, Dorothy, and the children stood to the side, directly across from Sully and Cloud Dancing. Even Trapper was in attendance, as Josef was afraid he would disappear into the woods if they left him alone in the wagon. From the slope of the small hill where they were gathered, a rough-legged hawk rose above the grassy plains, his loud cry seeming to call everyone to attention.

Cloud Dancing was surprised by the extent of his nervousness. Having been married before, he knew what to expect, but it had been a long time, over ten years, since he had shared his life with a woman. He had grown accustomed to his solitary life, and in the past few days had become acutely aware that this union was far different from the one he had entered into with Snow Bird. That marriage, he had chosen for himself, to a woman who understood and complemented him perfectly. This one was for his people, to fulfill a higher calling. Snow Bird had been so different from Two Voices. She was strong, outspoken, and grounded him with her gentle humor. Two Voices possessed a quiet strength beneath her youthful vulnerability and together he was confident they would build a good life working on behalf of the Cheyenne.

Sully's presence calmed his nerves and his support bolstered his confidence. He was grateful his brother could stand beside him as he embarked on this next milestone in his life. It hardly seemed possible that he could have ever dishonored and trampled over all that Sully had meant to him and the Cheyenne. He still felt a cold stab of shame and remorse at his spiteful words. Over the past few days, the time they spent hunting and talking had healed the deep wounds, and restored the bonds of their friendship, as if nothing had ever come between them. He knew the sturdy foundation, upon which their friendship had been built and nurtured through time, allowed it to withstand the impact of such an emotional earthquake, leaving it stronger in its wake.

The booming of the drums carried a song of celebration through the air as Two Voices rode toward Cloud Dancing's tepee on a horse led by her mother. She was dressed in a beautiful doeskin wedding dress, decorated with elaborate beadwork and a breastplate of long ivory porcupine quills. Ornate jewelry decorated her wrists and hands, and a large turquoise stone hung from her neck. In her right hand she held a fan made from the wing of a red-tailed hawk. When the horse came to a stop in front of him, Cloud Dancing helped her to the ground and held out his hand. Her smile was open and bright as she took his offered hand and went to stand beside him. They faced each other with their left hands clasped together in hopeful anticipation of what was to come.

As Dorothy watched the couple standing before each other, she ached with affection for him. It was really over. There could be no more wondering, hoping, or asking what if. A sorrowful resignation settled in her gut as she realized that this trip had delivered the closure she thought she wanted. It hadn't been the outcome of her late night fantasies, but in reality, anything other than a final goodbye was impossible.

Observing the joy on the couple's faces brought a rush of tears to her eyes. She fought hard to control them from spilling over, just as she fought to squelch the hot pangs of jealousy that strangled her insides. The wedding gift she most wanted to give Cloud Dancing was to remain strong and wish him the very best in his new marriage.

Cloud Dancing had brought out the best in her. Dorothy could be petty and selfish at times, her opinion easily swayed by the crowd. But, with Cloud Dancing, she became more open-minded and in touch with a world outside herself. She liked herself more when she was in his company. During the long trip home, she would find a way to embrace what she had learned from having him in her life, and come to terms with the empty void his absence had created.

Strong Bow stood before the couple. Though the Cheyenne were usually married without an officiator, the chief had wanted to be present, and say a few words out of respect for Cloud Dancing's status in the tribe. With their daily life on the reservation a constant struggle for survival, he encouraged the tribe to revel in celebrating the infrequent and hard-earned occasions of happiness.

Strong Bow lit the pipe filled with a braid of sweet grass, inhaled, and then fanned the smoke toward the lodge, offering prayers for the couple. The prayers sounded warm and melodic, filtering through the air like a song. They were prayers for their happiness, for their lodge to be blessed with many children, and that they may enjoy a long life together. Then the pipe was passed around for others to recite a prayer for the couple. After saying a few final words, they were married. Cloud Dancing took both her hands in his and leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers in a brief, affectionate kiss.

Sully was the first to congratulate the couple. He wished Two Voices much happiness with his friend before he turned and drew Cloud Dancing into a warm, tight embrace. "Congratulations," he said, patting him on the back.

Cloud Dancing held onto Sully with all the strength in his arms, unsure when they would see each other again. "Thank you, my brother. It meant a great deal to me that you were able to stand beside me. More than I could ever express."

When they separated, Sully kept his hand on his shoulder. "Glad we could be here." Unable to find the words to say goodbye, Sully fell into silence. They both looked at each other for a long moment, the expressions on their faces communicating more than any words. Finally Sully found his voice. "This ain't goodbye."

Cloud Dancing felt the constriction in his throat. "No, it is not goodbye."

Michaela interrupted them to give her best to the couple and to face Cloud Dancing for the last time before they left for home. "I never know how to say goodbye to you."

He brought her into his arms, hugging her warmly. "It is not goodbye. In my heart, I know we will see each other again. Thank you for all you have done for us and for the medicine."

Michaela hugged him back tightly. "You are more than welcome. Be well." When she stepped out of Cloud Dancing's embrace, she reached for Sully's hand, squeezing it to silently communicate that she understood how difficult this moment was for him. He gave her a faint smile of gratitude. Together they watched as Cloud Dancing said goodbye to Brian and the children, even bending down to scratch Trapper's head.

Dorothy wiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek, despite her best efforts to keep them at bay. With her heart knocking in her chest, she took several deep, consoling breaths before she joined the others in congratulating the couple. After she offered best wishes to his new wife, Dorothy turned to Cloud Dancing. Several moments of silence passed between them as she struggled to push aside her loss before speaking. "I truly hope you will be happy Cloud Dancing."

He saw the sincerity in her eyes and took her hand in his. "That means a great deal to me."

"Goodbye, Cloud Dancing." A friendly squeeze of his hand was the most intimate contact she was capable of, fearing what being in his arms for the last time might stir.

Cloud Dancing seemed to understand this silent agreement and patted her hand. "Goodbye, Dorothy." As certain as he was that he would see Sully and Michaela again, he was just as certain that this was the last time he would see Dorothy. Though they would continue to care and learn about each other from their good friends, she would never make this trip again to see him and he would never visit Colorado Springs. "Take good care of yourself."

"You, too." She gripped his hand one last time before letting go.

Cloud Dancing accepted the well wishes from the many people in his tribe gathered in attendance. Then he waved goodbye again to his good friends, wishing them a safe journey home. When most of the crowd had drifted away, he turned to his bride, took her by the hand and led her into their lodge to enjoy their first afternoon and night together as husband and wife.

After the couple had retreated into the tepee, Sully ushered everyone to the wagon. When he had lifted Josef into the back to join his sister, he noticed Live in Hopes walking toward them.

"I came to say goodbye," Live in Hopes said to Sully, though his eyes darted around looking for Katie.

Sully patted him on the back, amused by his attempt to hide the real reason he had come. "It was real good seein' ya again. Take care o' yourself." He turned toward the back of the wagon and raised his voice. "Katie, come out o' the wagon. Someone wants ta say goodbye ta you."

Live in Hopes politely said goodbye to Michaela, Dorothy and Brian before Katie and Josef had climbed out of the wagon. He smiled at Katie, but first turned to her brother. "Josef, you're all right for a little kid. Don't forget to practice what you learned in all those Cheyenne classes."

Josef beamed up at the older boy. "I won't."

Live in Hopes withdrew a large rectangular piece of wood from his bag. "I have something for you."

"For me?" Josef said, pointing to himself.

"For what you did." Live in Hopes handed the wood to Josef, revealing an intricate design of the face of a wolf carved on the surface. Under the face were the words, Wolf Helper. "You're the real Wolf Helper."

Tears, that always seemed to be close to the surface when he thought about Wolf, collected in his eyes. This time, though, his sad tears mingled with happy ones because, for the first time since Wolf died, Josef felt like he had done something right. "Thank you. I'm gonna take real good care of Trapper." Josef said, throwing his arms around Live in Hopes and squeezing him tight.

Live in Hopes hugged Josef back. "I know you will." Then he stepped toward Katie, aware of the eyes of her parents on both of them. He held out a colorful beaded necklace for her. "I will miss you."

Katie bowed her head forward so he could put the necklace around her neck. Turning around to reach into the wagon, she withdrew her book, Robinson Caruso, and handed it to him. "We didn't get to finish this one, so I want you to have it and think of me while you're reading it."

"I will." He reached over to hug her.

She kissed his cheek and held him tight, tears streaming down her face. "I'll miss you, too," she whispered into his ear.

Sully was moved by the close friendship that had formed between his daughter and Live in Hopes. He felt incredible pride in his children for how they embraced the Cheyenne during their time on the reservation. It was hard to leave, harder than even he had anticipated. He said goodbye to Live in Hopes again and watched the boy walk away, wondering what the future held for him.

After once more settling the children into the back of the wagon, Sully helped Michaela and Dorothy into the front seat. Michaela grabbed the reins while Sully and Brian mounted their horses, trotted to the front of the group, and led the way for the start of their journey home.

_To Be Continued..._


	36. Chapter 36

**No Greater Burden**

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

The trip home went much faster and was far less eventful than the journey to the reservation. Having fallen more than two weeks behind their original schedule, they decided to make up time by riding for long days, without a break, stopping only to rest the horses and for a few hours of sleep each night. The long, hot days in the wagon were taking a toll on their spirits and their stamina, leaving them, especially the children, tired and irritable. However, whenever they contemplated resting for an entire day to relax and replenish their reserves, they unanimously decided to continue riding. After nearly six weeks away from home, everyone was anxious to return to Colorado Springs, to their homes, work, and friends.

The flat, endless sea of grasslands had grown on the travelers during their time in Oklahoma. Gradually, they had developed an appreciation for the wide open spaces, the seemingly limitless horizon, and the multitude of different varieties of grasses that could be found on the prairie. Yet, when the first sight of the Rocky Mountains in the distance came into view, they felt their hearts quicken and their energy rise with affection and eager anticipation. None of them were sorry to exchange the monotonous plains for the rich diversity of the Colorado landscape.

After four days of hard riding through Oklahoma and Kansas, they were now only two days outside Colorado Springs. It was late afternoon when Sully pulled up on the reins to slow the wagon. Though there were still several hours of daylight remaining, they had one very important stop to make before continuing the final push toward home.

Michaela glanced over at him with a quizzical expression on her face. "Why did you stop? I thought you'd want to ride at least a few more hours."

"We made a promise ta Joe," Sully said, bringing the wagon to a complete stop.

Michaela's eyes narrowed in confusion then, after a moment, they widened in comprehension. "Wolf's grave," she murmured.

Brian rode up alongside the wagon. "Pa, why are we stopping?"

"We're gonna camp here tonight," Sully told him, as he jumped down from the wagon. "We promised Joe we'd stop at Wolf's grave on the way home."

"That's a relief," Dorothy said, overhearing their conversation. "I wasn't going to complain, but I could use more than a few hours of rest."

"We all could," Michaela agreed, smiling in sympathy at her friend's discomfort.

Katie had crawled to the front of the wagon and was now standing behind her mother. "We're stopping?"

Josef stood up and stared down at his father. "You remembered."

"'Course I did." Sully lifted the boy to the ground. As he did, he felt Josef's arms wrap around him in a tight hug of gratitude. Moving to the other side of the wagon, he helped Katie down, then assisted his wife, before making his way to the back to remove the bedrolls, a cooking pot, and plates and cups, only those items they would need for the night.

While Sully and Brian took care of the horses, Michaela and Dorothy set up their camp. With everything ready for the evening, it was time to pay their respects to Wolf. Dorothy decided to take advantage of the privacy by walking to the nearby creek for a bath. She wanted nothing more than to wash off the dirt and grime from several days of hard traveling.

The Sully family walked up the incline to the ridge where Wolf was buried. Katie held tight to her mother's hand, nervous to be retuning to such sad memories. Josef clutched the drawing he intended to leave for Wolf with one hand while his other hand wound around his father's fingers. Trapper, who had become quite attached to Josef since leaving the reservation, remained close to his side. Brian walked beside Sully, pleased they had made this stop for Josef, and for all of them.

Since they had laid Wolf to rest, the trees had filled out into a leafy canopy covering one side of the grave with shade. The other side was carpeted with a colorful assortment of summer flowers.

"It's pretty here. Look at all the flowers," Katie said, letting go of her mother's hand to get a closer view.

"They are lovely," Michaela said, admiring the droopy red and yellow heads of the columbine.

Sully, too, was moved by how beautiful and serene the setting was. He found comfort in how the Rocky Mountains, directly across the ridge, appeared to be watchful guardians of the grave. "I chose this spot special for Wolf. Thought he'd like it here."

"I still wish we could have buried him at home," Katie said. "That way it would be easier to visit him."

Michaela came to stand beside her daughter, placing her hand on her back. "Sweetheart, how would you like to plant a tree for Wolf when we get home? That way, we can visit him as often as we like and think of him as we watch it grow. It can be a special remembrance for Wolf."

"Could we?" Katie asked excitedly.

Sully gave Michaela a warm smile of appreciation. "That's a real good idea."

"It is," Brian said. "We'll pick out something special, just for him."

Josef sat on the ground with Trapper by his side staring at the spot he remembered his father lowering Wolf into. The conversation around him was drowned out by his thoughts of Wolf. He was lost in his memories of that day in the woods when he followed the tracks. The day everything had changed. Eventually, the rest of the family joined him in quiet contemplation. They each silently stood by the gravesite paying their respects to their beloved friend and finding comfort in the vibrant, yet solemn, surroundings.

After a time, Michaela took Katie's hand and turned to her son. "If you want, we can give you some time alone to say goodbye to Wolf. We'll wait for you at the bottom of the ridge."

Josef looked back and forth between his mother and his father. He wanted to speak to Wolf alone, but he was also scared. "Papa, will you stay with me?"

Sully crouched down next to him, caressing the back of his head. "'Course I will." He turned to his wife. "Go on back ta the campsite. We'll meet ya back there when we're done."

Michaela nodded in agreement. "We'll start supper."

Sully sat on the ground next to his son and crossed his legs in front of him. He stroked Trapper's head, but he didn't say a word, letting his presence serve as the comfort and reassurance his son needed most.

"Wolf," Josef began then he looked to his father for guidance.

Sully gently rubbed his back. "Say what ya feel, son. There's no wrong words."

Josef turned back toward the ground. "I'm sorry, Wolf. I know you tried to warn me to go back. I'm sorry I didn't listen. Papa told me to listen to you, but I didn't." Josef swiped at the tears on his face. "Thank you for saving my life. I love you." He buried his head in his hands and cried.

Listening to his son brought his own loss rising to the surface. Sully battled to keep his emotions buried deep inside where he had locked them away after Wolf's death. This stop was for Josef; his son needed to say goodbye and let go of his guilt. His father was there to help him, not add to his burden. Sensing he wasn't finished, Sully continued to rub his back while murmuring comforting words of encouragement. As his tears ebbed, Josef reached for the small roll of paper he had brought with him. He slipped off the string that tied it together, and smoothed out the drawing on the ground.

Sully breathed in appreciation. "That's amazin', Joe," he said, blinking back tears. It was a simple drawing of Josef and Wolf running in the woods together, but his son had managed to portray the very essence of Wolf. The picture wasn't of just any gray wolf. It _was_ Wolf. His son had captured Wolf, the friend, for that was what Sully had always considered Wolf, a friend. Both of them had looked out for each other, and Wolf had extended that friendship to his son. As he gazed a little longer at the drawing, he could also see the pure joy the two of them felt when they were playing. Sully was moved.

"You really like it?" Josef was pleased.

"Yeah, I do," Sully said, unable to pull his eyes away from the picture. "I'd like you ta draw one for me when we get home."

Josef smiled up at his father before turning back to Wolf's grave. He placed the drawing under a rock and smoothed down the edges that had curled around it. "I'm leaving this here for you to remember me. Please don't be mad at me, Wolf. I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

"He knows that, Joe," Sully interrupted. "He's not mad at ya."

Josef stroked Trapper's head. "Thank you for sending me Trapper. No one'll ever replace you, Wolf. But, I promise, I'm gonna take real good care of him. I promise I'll always listen to him. And, he'll take care of Papa, too, just like you did." When Josef finished, he leaned into his father's arms.

Sully swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat and drew Josef into his lap. He wrapped his arms around him, rocking him back and forth as his son cried. "I'm real proud of you."

Josef raised his tear streaked face to his father. "You are?"

"Real proud," he said, kissing his forehead. "I'm proud of all you learned from Wolf's death. I'm proud of how ya saved Trapper's life an' took care o' him."

Josef hugged his father even tighter. "Running Wolf told me I'd feel better about what happened to Wolf if I helped people…and animals."

"Do ya?"

"A little."

Sully placed his finger under his chin and lifted Josef's face to his, wiping away the moisture with his thumb. "Runnin' Wolf's right. What happened ta Wolf is always gonna hurt, but in time, the pain won't be as bad. What's important are the lessons ya take from this. Ya learned a lot that you're already usin'. I'm real proud o' that. And, most of all, I'm proud of how ya stood behind Runnin' Wolf, helped Eyes Like the Sky, and all ya learned from the Cheyenne. Ya got a good heart, Joe. Trust it."

"Can we go back and visit them again?"

"I'd like that."

Josef snuggled closer, pushing his face against his father's chest. "I love you, Papa."

"I love ya, too, Joe," Sully said, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "Ya ready ta go back ta the campsite for supper." Josef nodded and crawled out of his father's lap. Sully rose to his feet, wiped the dirt from his buckskins, and with one long last look at Wolf's burial site, he took Josef by the hand, and together, they walked back to join the rest of their family.

* * *

By the time Sully returned to the campsite with Josef, the misery that had been stirred up by visiting Wolf's grave surged through him, raw and full of pain. It had taken all of his strength not to break down alongside his son at the burial site as they said their final goodbyes to their friend. Given how hard it had been for Josef to let go of his guilt, Sully knew he would be plunged back into despair if he witnessed the depth of his father's grief. 

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of anguish. Hours later, while his family slumbered, Sully was still awake. His acute sense of loss, that had been adeptly kept hidden from view, now screamed for release. Disjointed images of Wolf, Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne tormented him, making sleep impossible. He yearned to turn his mind off and fall into oblivion. Instead, he resigned himself to another sleepless night and got up.

The night brought an early hint of fall into the air and Sully placed several logs on the fire, hoping warmth was all he needed to still his trembling body. As his tortured eyes watched the wood crackle and burn, the flames jumping and twisting in their fiery dance, he found no relief for his disquieted mind. He eventually surrendered to a desperate urge to walk off his restless thoughts. After assuring himself that Michaela was sleeping soundly, he took off into the woods, intending to return before any of his family awakened. Though he set out wandering aimlessly, his steps directed him, like a needle on a compass, toward Wolf's grave.

When he reached the ridge where Wolf had been laid to rest, Sully sat with his back to the grave, his legs crossed in front of him and his chin resting in the palm of his hand. Directly across from him were the Rocky Mountains. He found comfort in how they changed color in the darkness and appeared to be solemn watchmen over his friend. Alone in the middle of the night, for the first time since Wolf's death, Sully finally allowed himself to feel his grief. In his worry about Josef, the challenges of getting to the reservation, his discord with Brian and then Cloud Dancing, and the revelation about Running Wolf, his mind had been preoccupied, distracting him from fully absorbing the intensity of his loss. Here at the gravesite, those other concerns resolved, the depth of his emotions erupted from deep within, like a geyser.

Wolf had been a true friend to him. He came along at a time in his life when he was lost and completely alone. After the death of Abigail and Hannah, Sully convinced himself he didn't need anyone. In truth, he never needed anyone more. Along came a tiny orphaned wolf pup, who had also been left alone. Together they healed each other. Through his love, loyalty and companionship, Wolf eased his loneliness, opened his heart, and guided him toward the Cheyenne. Living among the Cheyenne had changed Sully's life, and those changes directed him along a path that led him to Michaela, who would give him the love and family he had been searching for all his life. Wolf had been a part of that family.

Apart from Cloud Dancing, Sully had never known a better friend than Wolf. It seemed a cruel irony that he nearly lost both of these dear friends in a matter of weeks. Sitting here now, his grief over the loss of Wolf mingled with the pain of leaving Cloud Dancing behind on the reservation. While Cloud Dancing was alive and their friendship back on solid ground, he felt profound sadness at having to say goodbye. With so many miles between them, Sully was no longer able to help his friend survive or contribute to a new future for the Cheyenne. Seeing him again only served to reinforce how much he missed having him in his life in Colorado.

Having made only a few true friends throughout his life, Sully knew the value of the precious gift of friendship. When he first set out on this journey, he never expected it would end as a testament to friendship. With Wolf, Cloud Dancing, and Running Wolf, Sully had his long-held principles tested, shaken up and, in the end, strengthened. The many losses in his life taught him how suddenly and permanently a loved one could be taken away. It seemed such a waste to spend time, which should be treasured in the company of friends, nursing grudges or encased in pride. The near loss of friendship with both Cloud Dancing and Running Wolf showed how easily disagreements, miscommunication, and skeletons from the past can form seemingly impenetrable divides. That they were all able to move forward, in friendship, reinforced for him how healing bridges could be built out of mutual respect and a willingness to let go of past mistakes and resentments.

Sully stared at the ground for a long time, remembering. So many memories of Wolf and of Cloud Dancing enveloped him. The longer he sat reflecting on his past with his two friends, he took solace in knowing that he could visit with Cloud Dancing again. It was difficult to accept that he would never see Wolf again, never toss him a scrap of food, scratch him behind the ears, track with him, or watch him perform an act of heroism. He trembled at the tragic twist of fate that Wolf's last heroic feat was in saving the life of his son.

Sully turned away from the mountains to face the spot where Wolf lay and spoke into the night. "Thank ya, boy. You were a real good friend ta me. I appreciate how ya always looked after Michaela and the kids, too."

Tears that had been held at bay for weeks now began to fall, forming shiny rivulets down his cheeks. Sully brushed the moisture from his face and eyes while he continued speaking. "Thank ya for savin' Josef's life. I know ya tried ta warn 'im an' he didn't listen. Your death taught him a real important lesson. I'm sorry it had ta happen like that, but I wanted ya ta know that Joe's grown up a lot these past few weeks. Your sacrifice is gonna make him a better man. Thank ya for that."

Sully brought his fists to his eyes, clearing them again before returning his intense gaze to the grave. "I don't know how ta say goodbye ta ya." Overcome with emotion, he inhaled a shuddering breath and moistened his throat. "I'm not gonna say goodbye. I'll always carry ya with me in here." Sully rested his hand over his heart. "I love ya, boy. You rest easy." Having run out of words, Sully kept his eyes riveted to the ground. Drops of water fell from his eyes, dotting the dirt like raindrops. With his vision blurred, he lowered his head into his hands and wept.

Eventually the tears subsided and his breathing calmed. Breaking through the darkness of his sorrow was a light of gratitude that he was no longer alone. He had a family. Sully had never been closer to anyone in his life than he was to Michaela. His wife was his best friend, his heart song, and his lover. Sully was certain he couldn't have gotten through Wolf's death, and all the other heartaches that transpired on this trip, without her by his side. Reflecting on his marriage, he knew it hadn't always been easy. Both of them sometimes let their stubborn independence crack their solid foundation. But, he knew the work they had done to make it through each inevitable period of adversity had strengthened their bond and melded them together, tighter than ever.

During the hours he sat in silent contemplation, the inky darkness had given way to a smoky predawn grayness. The birds had just voiced the initial notes of their morning song. The sounds signaled that it was time to return to the campsite and prepare for another long day of travel. When Sully shifted his position in an attempt to get up, his joints shouted in protest as every fiber in his body had grown stiff from sitting immobile for so long in the chilly night air. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, rising up on his heels. Before reaching his full height, he heard footsteps behind him. Quickly swiping at his wet cheeks, he swallowed the lump in his throat then turned around to face the only person who would know where to find him at this early hour.

Michaela noticed Sully's red rimmed eyes and his pale face, reflecting more sadness than anyone should have to bear. She wasn't surprised by his appearance, nor by the clearly defined tear tracks staining his face. When she woke without him by her side, she immediately knew where he had gone. For a long while, she remained on her bedroll, giving him time alone to grieve. As the sky turned progressively lighter and he still hadn't returned, she decided to go to him, hoping he might accept her comfort and support.

"I thought I'd join you," Michaela began, hesitating for a moment. "Unless you'd rather be alone."

Her voice carried incredible warmth and Sully wanted to wrap himself up in it like a blanket. Meeting her eyes, he held out his hand for her. "I been alone long enough. I need ya with me."

Michaela cleared the small space between them, reached for his offered hand and lowered herself to the ground beside him. She closed her fingers warmly around his and brought their joined hands into her lap. They sat quietly in the peaceful surroundings with their hands linked together listening to the birds sing their opening chorus of the day. At seeing Sully so distraught, she was at a loss for words to comfort him.

Sully felt her love and support flow through him. Eventually he opened up. "Sittin' here with Joe earlier…it all hit me at once."

Michaela squeezed his hand. "Sully, it's important for you to grieve for Wolf. You've been so worried about Josef and preoccupied by everything that's happened on this trip that you haven't been able to feel your pain. Wolf's death was an enormous loss for you."

"I didn't wanna upset Josef." He spoke with his face turned toward the mountains, afraid that meeting her eyes would bring a new round of tears.

"Josef knows what Wolf meant to you. Why else do you think he lied to us and postponed telling us what really happened? He was terrified you'd blame him and never forgive him."

"I don't blame Joe. I know it was a terrible accident."

"I know you do, but Josef blamed himself. Being able to sit here with you while he said goodbye to Wolf was exactly what he needed. It helped him immensely to be reassured of your love and to know that you're proud of him. I could tell how much better he felt when the two of you returned. I could also see the toll it had taken on you, bringing Wolf's death to the forefront."

"I'm all right."

Michaela reached over and placed her hand against his back in a comforting gesture. "No you're not Sully, and that's all right."

Sully was quiet for several moments. Her touch brought fresh pools of water to his eyes that he struggled to keep from spilling over. "I miss 'im," he said, his voice catching in his throat. "The closer we get ta home, the harder it gets. Bein' at the reservation, I could imagine it's not real...that when we get home, he'll be there, jumpin' up, happy ta see us, an' lickin' the kids' faces. Seein' his grave reminded me that's not gonna happen. When we get back, it'll be real ta me in a way it hasn't been 'til now."

Listening to the agony in his voice, Michaela remained silent and full of attention, as she continued gently rubbing his back. "Home has so many reminders of Wolf. I know I'll worry more about you when you go out without him by your side. He was your guardian angel. He kept you safe. He kept our entire family safe."

Sully lowered his eyes to the ground and nodded. "Even in the end," he whispered. His voice was so low she could hardly hear him.

"Even then," she agreed. Michaela brought her arm around him and felt her husband slump into her. "Sully, you've suffered a great loss. Wolf was your close friend. I expect you to grieve for him. I also expect that grief to be magnified by the absence of Cloud Dancing from your life and what's happened to Running Wolf and the rest of the Cheyenne."

With her body so close to his, the warmth of her arm across his back, and her consoling words, the tears he tried so hard to contain, began to overflow. This time Sully didn't try to hide them. He _had_ lost a good friend. It hurt. Michaela understood that and provided him a safe haven to share his grief.

As soon as she saw his eyes well with water, Michaela drew him to her, wrapping her arms securely around him as his head dropped onto her shoulder. For several minutes, Sully cried in her arms, his shoulders rising and falling with each wracking sob. Michaela held him tight, occasionally stroking his back or caressing his head. No words were spoken. Michaela knew Sully needed to release his grief in a place where he felt safe and loved. She continued to hold him, her own eyes brimming from the depth of his despair, as another wave of violent sobs caused his body to tremble. Sully wept for a long time, the moisture from his eyes soaking the material of Michaela's blouse. When it seemed the tears had ebbed, Michaela whispered into his ear how much she loved him and reminded him of how much Wolf loved him. After taking several shuddering breaths, he told Michaela how much he loved her, while continuing to hold onto her as if she were a lifeline he was afraid of losing.

After lingering in her arms a little while longer, Sully finally pulled back and caressed the side of her face. "Thank you…for bein' with me…an' for holdin' me."

Michaela tenderly stroked his cheek, the shadow of a beard rough against her fingers. "You're welcome. I wish there was more I could do to ease your pain."

He gazed directly into her eyes, never wavering, even though his own eyes brimmed. "You have, by bein' here with me. I'm not alone anymore Michaela. For the longest time, it was just me an' Wolf. I'm gonna miss 'im, 'specially when we get home, and the first time I go out huntin' without 'im. I miss Cloud Dancin', too. I'm real sad, but I keep thinkin' 'bout how much I got. I don't think I could get through this loss if it weren't for you…if I didn't know you were beside me, lovin' me, supportin' me."

Michaela brushed the tears from his face with her fingertips. "I'll always love you, stand beside you, and support you." Following such an emotional release, Sully felt drained and depleted. He remained on the ground, his arm around his wife, both of them staring out at the mountains that were cast in a pink hue, the sun lighting them from behind. "It might help some if you talked about Wolf."

"Like what?"

"Anything you want to share. Are there any stories about the two of you that you haven't told me?"

"I told ya how we got together." Sully's breathing had almost returned to normal making him reluctant to stir up memories that could unleash his emotions again. "You've known 'im nearly fifteen years, Michaela. You know most o' what I know."

Michaela persisted, believing that talking about Wolf would help Sully heal. "What's your fondest memory of Wolf from before we met?"

Sully remained quiet for a time as snapshots of Wolf came into his mind. He turned his head slightly to face Michaela. "I'm not sure it's my best memory, but Wolf made it easier for me ta fit in with the Cheyenne."

Michaela was intrigued. "How?"

"At the time, the Cheyenne didn't have much experience with whites and most o' what they did have was bad. When I was first in their camp, the tribe was suspicious o' me. Havin' Wolf made it easier for them ta trust me. The Cheyenne revered wolves. Seein' one so loyal ta me gave me a status few white men ever had. I'll always be grateful ta Wolf for leadin' me ta the Cheyenne."

Michaela leaned her head against his. "So will I."

"There was this one time I thought he might leave for good," Sully said, his voice gaining strength. To his surprise, it _was_ helping to talk about Wolf with Michaela.

"Why?"

"He was in love," Sully said, chuckling.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he started spendin' time with this other wolf. She was Pup's ma. I wouldn't see 'im for weeks at a time. I thought for sure he was gonna join up with 'er pack. I had gotten used ta 'im by then. I didn't wanna lose 'im, but I also wanted 'im ta be happy."

Michaela leaned her body into his. "He didn't leave, though, did he?"

Sully smiled for the first time all night. "No, he came back. Suppose she just wasn't the right one." He laughed lightly from the memory. He drew Michaela even closer and laid his face alongside hers. "Then this other time…"

Sully continued to share stories about Wolf with his wife until the light in the sky told them it was time to return to the campsite and commence the day's journey.

* * *

At the end of another long day of travel, Michaela sat cross-legged on the ground brushing out her hair and watching the bats in the evening sky as they dived for insects, ducking now and then when one grazed the top of her head. Sully returned from washing up by the stream and sat down behind her, securing her in the vee of his legs. Without uttering a word, his fingers moved over hers to remove the brush from her hand. He gently pulled the brush through her hair that had become tangled and windblown from a day of hard riding. Occasionally, he paused to untangle a knot with his fingers, letting the hair trail through his hands. Michaela closed her eyes and relaxed as the brush did its work, the evening air soft around them. By the time he finished, he put down the brush and arranged her hair so it cascaded down her back and shoulders. Then he moved the mass of her hair to one side and kissed the nape of her neck, causing her to arch against him. 

"We should be home sometime tomorrow," Sully whispered against her ear, his breath warm.

"Mmm…" Michaela replied. Sully's attention had made her lax against his chest, rendering her pliable to his touch. "This is nice." With her eyes closed, she listened as the wind softly whispered through the trees.

"It is." He lightly massaged her shoulders, enjoying the tranquility of their last night in the woods. "Ya lookin' forward ta gettin' back ta the clinic?"

Michaela opened her eyes and sat up straighter. "I am. I've missed it."

"Ya did a lot o' good at the reservation."

"I'm glad I was able to help them. But, I'm looking forward to being home."

Sully continued to knead her shoulders. "Thank you," he said, before placing a light kiss on her cheek.

Michaela turned her head slightly to catch his gaze. "For what?"

"For everythin'. For thinkin' o' this trip, for agreein' ta continue on after Josef got lost, for helpin' me deal with losin' Wolf, and for sayin' you'd stay with me."

"I'll always stay with you." She leaned back, reaching her hand behind her to caress his face.

"And I'll always stay with you," Sully affirmed before placing a kiss on her palm.

"I want to ask you the same question I asked the morning we awoke in the cave, before we learned about Running Wolf. Did this trip give you what you wanted?"

Sully encircled her waist with his arms as he considered the question. "I got most o' what I wanted and some o' what no one could want."

"I know," she said, as her mind drifted back to Wolf's violent death, the conditions on the reservation and the horrifying day when they learned about Running Wolf. Michaela felt goose bumps on her skin from the memories, and from the coolness of the Colorado night that put a sudden premonition of fall into the air.

Sully felt the crisp air on his skin and wrapped his arms more securely around her. The heat of their bodies, so close together, warmed them. "It was good seein' Cloud Dancin' again. Before all the trouble with Runnin' Wolf, it was the same as always. It don't matter how much time passes. When we see each other, it's like it was yesterday."

"That's because you're true friends. You carry each other in your hearts. Time and distance don't matter."

"Came so close ta losin' it."

Michaela ran a hand down his arm, laced her fingers through his and squeezed tight. "No you didn't, Sully. In the end, neither of you would have let that happen."

"This trip was everythin' I ever wanted for the kids. They got ta know the Cheyenne and appreciate 'em. From now on, they'll know what I'm talkin' about."

"This trip has given them a frame of reference to absorb what we tell them. It's made the Cheyenne real to them in a way I don't think anything else could."

Sully paused to listen to the sounds of nature. The crickets, the birds and the rustling leaves always brought him back to a purer state of man. Somewhere far above them in the forest, an owl was calling. "Despite everythin' I'm glad we got ta know Runnin' Wolf an' Night Crane."

"I am, too." She leaned her head back, resting it in the crook of his neck. "Sully, remember that first morning in the cave, when you were concerned about leaving because you felt there was something you still had to do?"

"Yeah," he said, unsure where she was going with this.

"I believe you were meant to stay and help Running Wolf by convincing Cloud Dancing of his desire for atonement."

"I didn't do much," he said.

"That's where you're wrong. As you always do, you listened to Running Wolf with an open mind, and though it didn't seem like it at the time, you made a difference in how Cloud Dancing viewed him. I believe you helped save his life."

Sully was moved by her words, but unwilling to accept the credit. "Night Crane did the most."

"That may be, but you still made a difference." She paused to nestle closer against her husband. "I'll miss them. They became good friends to us. It feels like we've known them forever."

Sully held her more securely in his arms. "In some circumstances, a few weeks can be a lifetime. We'll visit them again someday."

"I'd like that." Michaela held his hand flat against her palm admiring his fingers. She loved his hands, their gentleness and their strength. "Do you have any regrets about not staying?"

He curled his fingers around hers. "No. Our stayin' wasn't right for us. It's just…I wanted so badly ta do something ta help the Cheyenne."

"I know you did."

Sully lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. "What I regret is how things have turned out for them. It's hard ta accept that there's nothin' I can do about it."

"You are doing something."

"What's that?"

She stroked his arm. "Being their friend, teaching our children about who they are. I have to believe that if we don't forget and our children don't forget, it will make a difference in the future."

"It'll never be like it was for them."

"I'm afraid that's true." Her voice was soft in the night, hesitant and tentative. "I wish you could turn back the clock and have what you once shared with them again."

He ran his hand down her arm. "I wish the Cheyenne were still in Colorado, livin' free, the way they used ta, but I wouldn't wanna turn back time. What I got now is so much more than I had back then. I wouldn't give it up for anythin'."

She turned in his arms and held him with her eyes. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Sometimes, it don't feel right havin' so much an' bein' so happy when they have so little. My life with you an' the kids is so much more than I ever dreamed of. It just seems as things got better for me, it got worse for them."

She cupped his face in her hand. "You do know the two aren't connected."

He gave her the faintest light of a smile. "I do."

"Sully, we can't deny ourselves happiness or joy because their situation is so desperate. It's not what Cloud Dancing would want. I feel guilty, too, but an excess of guilt that prevents us from fully living our life, dishonors the precious nature of life."

His eyes were lit with an internal flame that burned into hers. "Cloud Dancin' said there's no greater burden. We gotta let go."

She brought him into her embrace. "We need to let go of the guilt. We'll never let go of the Cheyenne. We'll honor them by living our life and loving each other, by continuing to stand up for what's right and just, and teaching our children to do the same. The best way to honor the Cheyenne is to remember."

"I'll let it go," he said, dissolving into the confidence of her embrace. After holding her close for several silent reflective moments, he whispered, "We'll live our life, keep on lovin' each other." Sully pulled back as his lips found hers for a gentle, soft kiss. "And, we'll never forget."

The End

_I can't thank all of you enough for reading and for taking the time to comment on this story. It's been a great ride! Your support and encouragement has meant a great deal to me!! Thanks again - Judy_


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